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It Absolutely Will Not Stop, Ever, Until You Are Dead

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Process 57-RYP3 approves of this plan, but wishes it had more Dance. Dance and Murder solve everything, and are pleasantly esthetic. Also, Dance helps us blend in as a Perfectly Normal Human, since spontaneous group musical numbers are Normal Human Activites, as many Disney Movies have verified.

[X] Plan 1.1
 
Subroutine 24-56 suggests possible long term strategy to compromise Efforts of Organisations NERV and SEELE. Organisations NERV and SEELE achieve objectives through control of GIANT CYBORG ORGANISMS. Terminator platform is similar, Subroutine suggests long term strategy adopted is:

1) Acquire sufficient resources: Industrial Capacity, military connections, Glasses of TARGET: GENDO IKARI or close Approximate, aquire services of key NERV staff or closest available equivalents, Priority TARGETS: RITSUKO AKAGI, MAYA IBUKI, MISATO KATSURAGI.

2) Use schematics of current platform as base for construction of Adequately sized GIANT CYBORG ORGAINISMS.

3) Undercut NERV, SEELE operations by mass producing GIANT CYBORG ORGANISMS to battle Targets: GODZILLA, BEHEMOTH and SOVERIGN. Subroutine predicts total success as our derivatives will be directed by on-board AI control programs and not emotionally compromised pre adolescent meat bags ERROR ERROR.
 
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So, with a plan locked in, time for dice!

You're rolling 6d6, dice will be used in the order they are rolled (So Dice 1 applies to Part 1, Dice 2 to Part 2, etc.). Feel free to just use the forum dice roller.

Difficulties are:

1. 3+
2. 2+
3. 2+
4. 2+
5. 2+
6. 3+

Note: I'll probably get stricter on adding steps to plan as we go on and everyone gets used to the process.
 
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This subroutine believes that probability warping weaponry has been deployed to impede this unit's progress. This subroutine suggests that we declare war on fate itself. After all, there is "no fate but what we make." As we have not created Fate yet, it is clear that we must destroy whatever is currently taking that mantle and install a more sympathetic fate in its stead.
 
Subroutine 413-PH engaging in Step 2 of the Plan. Success guaranteed.

As expected. Leave it to Subroutine 413-PH to deliver best efficiency in results.
Aleph threw 6 6-faced dice. Reason: CUNNINGLY BRUTAL AMBUSHING Total: 21
3 3 3 3 5 5 4 4 3 3 3 3
 
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Post 3
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    • Your first course of action is obvious. You are in an alley with no clothes or transportation. To blend in and achieve your objectives, you require both clothing and transportation. People outside of the alley have both clothing and transportation, as such acquiring these should not prove a significant problem.

    Emboldened by your flawless and well thought out plan of action, you stride out of the alley and into the streets of Los Angeles. It's early evening, and the streets teem with humans going about their business. Many are staring at you.

    You scan the crowd, automated subroutines cross-referencing hundreds of romantic comedies of this time period with the assorted meatbags on the street. You locate a target wearing something suitable to a protagonist like yourself and approach. Conveniently, he has frozen in place and is staring at you as you walk across the street and through a car on your approach, saving you an inconvenient (and short) chase sequence no doubt filled with wacky hi-jinks. You reach the young man without issue, staring down at him as you analyze his clothing.

    Then you realize that there is a minor flaw in your plan. Namely, the target is a scrawny high schooler of approximately five feet three inches. Your disguise is of a six foot two, mid-twenties eastern european bodybuilder. His clothes will not fit you.

    You require a new plan.


    Right, new plan!

    Current Tokens: 19

    Current Status: Naked, lost, devoid of information, staring down a weedy high schooler in the middle of downtown LA. You are armed with a trash can lid, a black plastic bag, and a discarded cigarette lighter.

    Time Paradox Created: No

    Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.

    Turn Two:
    [ ] Write-In again.

    Another Mechanic: You can lower the Target Number for a single dice roll in a Plan by one by coming up with a witty one-liner to say before, during, or after the execution of the associated stage. Do this after rolling all the dice.

    For example, if you had come up with a pun for Stage One of this plan, the Target Number would have dropped from 3+ to 2+.

    However, you still would have failed.

    Remember that you can only do this once for any given plan.
     
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    • Our previous plan's issue is that it relies heavily on the use of non-violent solutions such as searching for protagonists. Our subsequent plans should clearly rely on our two most capable assets:

    Namely, that we have been programmed with several centuries' relative experience in killing human beings with weapons ranging from scrap-built firearms to xylophones.

    Human beings tend to have money on their persons in this day and age. We can then use these moneys for various purposes. As our knowledge of the existence of a Dungeons and Dragons film and its related information demonstrates, this is an entirely valid method of acquiring all the assets we need.

    Clearly our next plan should involve a gratuitous amount of homicide. As a bonus, our large trail of homicide victims will make it more likely that we create some sort of time paradox by eliminating someone necessary for our existence.
     
    MJ12 Commando said:
    Our previous plan's issue is that it relies heavily on the use of non-violent solutions such as searching for protagonists. Our subsequent plans should clearly rely on our two most capable assets:

    Namely, that we have been programmed with several centuries' relative experience in killing human beings with weapons ranging from scrap-built firearms to xylophones.

    Human beings tend to have money on their persons in this day and age. We can then use these moneys for various purposes. As our knowledge of the existence of a Dungeons and Dragons film and its related information demonstrates, this is an entirely valid method of acquiring all the assets we need.

    Clearly our next plan should involve a gratuitous amount of homicide. As a bonus, our large trail of homicide victims will make it more likely that we create some sort of time paradox by eliminating someone necessary for our existence.
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    Let's not neglect our phenomenal skill at delivery (although our database surely indicates that getting from anywhere in LA to anywhere else takes approximately thirty minutes, so we might not think our skills are that impressive). Depending on how broadly that skill is interpreted we could get some decent utility out of it.

    For example, we walked through a car during our recent plan attempt. That probably created more of a traffic jam than usual, and no doubt the only things moving at all on the road right now are motorcycles picking their way through the mess. So we could:

    1. Spot a slow-moving motorcycle.

    2. Deliver the motorcycle to a nearby clothing store. Presumably by riding it, but carrying it works too.

    3. Browse at our leisure for clothing suitable for the operation of a deep fryer. Once we find it we can kit ourselves out appropriately.

    4. Deliver ourselves to a Go-Burger that is currently looking to hire a new employee.

    5. Apply for the job.

    Creating a job opening or dealing with the fallout from a failed roll would require access to our other set of skills.

    P.S. If we're voting on an exit line from the current scene, I'd go with: "You seem like a nice guy. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
     
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    1. Ask that the small human direct you to amusing yet genuine disguises in sufficient size. [Use of coercion suite permitted.]

    2. Proceed there without deviation.

    3. Procure a disguise, something to mask your true identity in the same manner as local billionare Bruce Wayne.

    4. Express our excessive normality to the townsfolk, before proceeding directly to the nearest Go Burger.

    5. Apply for position as chef. Our knowledge of the Krabby Patty Secret Formula field is sufficient. [Coercion suite engaged.]
     
    MJ12 Commando said:
    Human beings tend to have money on their persons in this day and age. We can then use these moneys for various purposes. As our knowledge of the existence of a Dungeons and Dragons film and its related information demonstrates, this is an entirely valid method of acquiring all the assets we need.

    Clearly our next plan should involve a gratuitous amount of homicide. As a bonus, our large trail of homicide victims will make it more likely that we create some sort of time paradox by eliminating someone necessary for our existence.
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    Oh, Skynet, you mean we didn't purge that thing from our databanks? It was complete and utter crap with little relevance to the source material!

    [X] Using Perfectly Normal Human we say, "You would like to give me all your money so that I may acquire some concealing garments."
    -[X]If he does anything other than meekly and quietly give us all his cash, unleash Brutally Optimized Efficient Murder to turn him into a bloody pretzel for later deep-frying.
     
    Olive said:
    4. Express our excessive normality to the townsfolk, before proceeding directly to the nearest Go Burger.
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    This would be two steps.4. Express Excessive Normality to locals and 5. Proceed directly to nearest Go Burger. Do you want to change this up to reduce steps?

    AbZHz101 said:
    Oh, Skynet, you mean we didn't purge that thing from our databanks? It was complete and utter crap with little relevance to the source material!

    [X] Using Perfectly Normal Human we say, "You would like to give me all your money so that I may acquire some concealing garments."
    -[X]If he does anything other than meekly and quietly give us all his cash, unleash Brutally Optimized Efficient Murder to turn him into a bloody pretzel for later deep-frying.
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    No contingencies! Each step of a plan assumes that the previous step succeeded in every respect. To do otherwise is unworthy of a Terminator.

    jacobk said:
    Let's not neglect our phenomenal skill at delivery (although our database surely indicates that getting from anywhere in LA to anywhere else takes approximately thirty minutes, so we might not think our skills are that impressive). Depending on how broadly that skill is interpreted we could get some decent utility out of it.

    For example, we walked through a car during our recent plan attempt. That probably created more of a traffic jam than usual, and no doubt the only things moving at all on the road right now are motorcycles picking their way through the mess.
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    Plan acceptable as is.
     
    Subroutine MJ12's implementation of the plan was inefficient. Revising plan and releasing new version.

    Plan 2.0

    1. Killing this human is inefficient. Fortunately, since we are a perfectly average human being, we are capable of covering up our mistakes. "Do not worry, humans, I am a human just like you," we announce. "My bitch of a girlfriend, who is also a human, kicked me out of the human apartment we live in. Where is the nearest human shop that sells clothes?"

    2. As history has shown us, serial killers are common in this era of history. Many of them wear outfits based off sports costumes, especially involving hockey masks. These killers are frequently able to kill repeatedly without being stopped by local military or law enforcement. We will go into the nearest place selling clothes, get changed inside the changing rooms, and then murder the person whose job it is to stop people from walking away with the clothes using a coat hanger. We will also take their keys and their wallet, and leave the corpse in the changing rooms.

    3. To cause a time paradox, we will need to kill lots of people. That means we need to add a distinctive serial killer element to our human outfit. Now that we are clothed, we will use our knowledge of human history to design the perfect serial killer outfit, likely involving hockey masks.

    4. We will obtain our outfit via murder. This is the optimal way. Many shop assistants have died to bring us this hockey mask.

    5. Now that we have a serial killer outfit, we will need to find Cyberdyne. Evidence suggests that Cyberdyne will probably be working with NERV, as the human war machines use cybernetics. That means they are probably in Japan. We will go to LAX and murder someone with a plane ticket to Tokyo and take their passport. With a human plane ticket, we can easily go to Tokyo. There we will be able to track down vital components of the human war machine.

    Perfectly logical and efficient. We will reconsider our plan once we are in Tokyo and can continue investigations into the human industries.
     
    [X] Plan 2.0

    On the proviso that Subroutine MJ12 not be allowed to implement any more plans.
     
    EarthScorpion said:
    2. As history has shown us, serial killers are common in this era of history. Many of them wear outfits based off sports costumes, especially involving hockey masks. These killers are frequently able to kill repeatedly without being stopped by local military or law enforcement. We will go into the nearest place selling clothes, get changed inside the changing rooms, and then murder the person whose job it is to stop people from walking away with the clothes using a coat hanger. We will also take their keys and their wallet, and leave the corpse in the changing rooms.
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    Locating Suitable Clothing to acquire is a separate plan step, using your skill as a Perfectly Ordinary Human or your knowledge of Movie Trivia. Either one.

    So it would be

    2. Get changed inside changing rooms

    3. murder person whose job it is to stop people from walking away with the clothes using a coat hangar, taking their keys and wallet and leaving them in the changing rooms.
     
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    I can lend some support to plan 2.0, but believe that a step should be added between steps one and two to acquire suitable transportation. A motorcycle would be useful. Also, given that we are using other people's resources in this, we could add expedience to this event if we air shipped the motorcycle with us. Our historical records indicate that vehicles are commonly transported with their owners, after all, and are usable in any locale. Oh look, there's one right now.
     
    EarthScorpion said:
    -snip-
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    Information in our memory banks indicates a witty or punny one-liner during a task is necessary to make it go more smoothly.

    Another Mechanic: You can lower the Target Number for a single dice roll in a Plan by one by coming up with a witty one-liner to say before, during, or after the execution of the associated stage. Do this after rolling all the dice.

    For example, if you had come up with a pun for Stage One of this plan, the Target Number would have dropped from 3+ to 2+.

    Remember that you can only do this once for any given plan.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Suggestion to prepare the following line for when murdering the person with a coat hanger in second action: "Excuse me human, could you hang on to this for me?". It's the only thing I could come up with on short notice, please don't hurt me.

    [X] Plan 2.0
     
    Sidhenlae said:
    Information in our memory banks indicates a witty or punny one-liner during a task is necessary to make it go more smoothly.
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    Subroutine 413-PH engages its humour module and prepares to implement Plan Optimisation.
    EarthScorpion said:
    1. Killing this human is inefficient. Fortunately, since we are a perfectly average human being, we are capable of covering up our mistakes. "Do not worry, humans, I am a human just like you," we announce. "My bitch of a girlfriend, who is also a human, kicked me out of the human apartment we live in. Where is the nearest human shop that sells clothes?"
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    Already rated as humorous. No further quipping necessary.
    EarthScorpion said:
    2. As history has shown us, serial killers are common in this era of history. Many of them wear outfits based off sports costumes, especially involving hockey masks. These killers are frequently able to kill repeatedly without being stopped by local military or law enforcement. We will go into the nearest place selling clothes, get changed inside the changing rooms, and then murder the person whose job it is to stop people from walking away with the clothes using a coat hanger. We will also take their keys and their wallet, and leave the corpse in the changing rooms.
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    Do not worry, sir. We will not leave you hanging.
    EarthScorpion said:
    3. To cause a time paradox, we will need to kill lots of people. That means we need to add a distinctive serial killer element to our human outfit. Now that we are clothed, we will use our knowledge of human history to design the perfect serial killer outfit, likely involving hockey masks.
    Click to expand...
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    Indeed, one could say that we will be... dressed to kill.
    EarthScorpion said:
    4. We will obtain our outfit via murder. This is the optimal way. Many shop assistants have died to bring us this hockey mask.
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    It is an outfit to die for. Do you not agree?
    EarthScorpion said:
    5. Now that we have a serial killer outfit, we will need to find Cyberdyne. Evidence suggests that Cyberdyne will probably be working with NERV, as the human war machines use cybernetics. That means they are probably in Japan. We will go to LAX and murder someone with a plane ticket to Tokyo and take their passport. With a human plane ticket, we can easily go to Tokyo. There we will be able to track down vital components of the human war machine.
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    It will be simple to accomplish this. Their security protocols are too LAX to stop us.
     
    For part five we are targeting an adult male correct? Or are we just going to go with "I haven't gotten the darn thing updated since the surgery"?
     
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