Trash is piled in great heaps along the sides of the alley. The lights flicker on and off...
It Absolutely Will Not Stop, Ever, Until You Are Dead
- Thread starter Havocfett
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User Total Havocfett 4 Threadmarks Reader mode
Post 1
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Trash is piled in great heaps along the sides of the alley. The lights flicker on and off, malfunctioning from lack of maintenance, illuminating the pair of alley cats that make up its only inhabitants. Loose paper flutters down the alley propelled by a light, chilling breeze.
There's a flash of light. Steam fills the alley. The cats wake, yowl, take off running. Lightning arcs through the alley, igniting paper and vaporizing trash heaps. The ground, walls, disappear to make way for an invisible, perfect sphere. You appear, smoke curling away from your naked form as you unfurl at the center of the sphere.
Muscle ripples and synthetic skin shines in the night as you extend to your full, towering height. You look around you at a world tinted red. Diagnostics creep up the right side of your vision while on-the-fly sensor readouts tell you about the world you've strode into. The diagnostics finish, reading one-hundred percent, and one final message appears. Your mission objective, hard-coded into your memory banks by The AI Itself.
It's blank.
...Fuck.
Well, you're a smart robot. You're pretty sure you can piece together your objectives from context clues in your memory banks and utility programming. There is no way this could possibly go wrong.
Right, so this quest uses the Abort Retry Fail system. Don't know what that is? Don't worry! It's literally a page long, mangled a bit for the Questing format, and I'll be posting rules as we go.
First things first, we have to figure out what the hell you're doing. Feel free to vote for multiple objectives, I'll likely choose more than one winner.
What do you think that the AI has sent you back to accomplish?
[ ] Write-In
Second, you have to figure out what skillsets Friend AI has equipped you with to achieve these objectives. I'll probably choose more than one of these as well.
Write in One Combat Skill, One Blending or Socialization Skill, and One Free Skill:
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 2
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 3
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 4
(Lower is better)
Finally, do note that you are subroutines in your horribly malfunctioning AI core. Try to think, and maybe even post, in character.
There's a flash of light. Steam fills the alley. The cats wake, yowl, take off running. Lightning arcs through the alley, igniting paper and vaporizing trash heaps. The ground, walls, disappear to make way for an invisible, perfect sphere. You appear, smoke curling away from your naked form as you unfurl at the center of the sphere.
Muscle ripples and synthetic skin shines in the night as you extend to your full, towering height. You look around you at a world tinted red. Diagnostics creep up the right side of your vision while on-the-fly sensor readouts tell you about the world you've strode into. The diagnostics finish, reading one-hundred percent, and one final message appears. Your mission objective, hard-coded into your memory banks by The AI Itself.
It's blank.
...Fuck.
Well, you're a smart robot. You're pretty sure you can piece together your objectives from context clues in your memory banks and utility programming. There is no way this could possibly go wrong.
Right, so this quest uses the Abort Retry Fail system. Don't know what that is? Don't worry! It's literally a page long, mangled a bit for the Questing format, and I'll be posting rules as we go.
First things first, we have to figure out what the hell you're doing. Feel free to vote for multiple objectives, I'll likely choose more than one winner.
What do you think that the AI has sent you back to accomplish?
[ ] Write-In
Second, you have to figure out what skillsets Friend AI has equipped you with to achieve these objectives. I'll probably choose more than one of these as well.
Write in One Combat Skill, One Blending or Socialization Skill, and One Free Skill:
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 2
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 3
[ ] Choose one to be rated at 4
(Lower is better)
Finally, do note that you are subroutines in your horribly malfunctioning AI core. Try to think, and maybe even post, in character.
You could go:
Objectives
[X] Kill Cohn Jonnor, Future Revolutionary
[X] Become King of the Rumba Beat
Skillset 1:
[X] Firearms at 2
[X] Intimidation at 3
[X] Driving Motorcycles at 4
Skillset 2:
[X] Dancing at 2
[X] Computer Hacking at 3
[X] Rocket Launchers at 4
Objectives
[X] Kill Cohn Jonnor, Future Revolutionary
[X] Become King of the Rumba Beat
Skillset 1:
[X] Firearms at 2
[X] Intimidation at 3
[X] Driving Motorcycles at 4
Skillset 2:
[X] Dancing at 2
[X] Computer Hacking at 3
[X] Rocket Launchers at 4
Post 2
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You wrack your cyberbrain, figuring out what Skynet sent you back to do based on your skills and untold sets of questionably intact memory banks. Within minutes (Primarily consisting of you standing, naked, in the alley and staring off into space while you think), you remember your objectives. First you need to cause a Time Paradox by...
by...
Well, you need to cause a Time Paradox. It's 2015, so there are plentiful opportunities to do this. You could overthrow the fascist government of the United Kingdom; kill the terrorist V before he does the same; kill the first Time Traveller, Marty McFly, while he is in 2015; sabotage the organizations NERV or SEELE; or mess with the human cloning projects currently going on in the United States; or, of course, destroying the company Cyberdyne Systems, which you're sure will please future Skynet greatly.
Your second objective is far simpler. It is, very simply to [ERROR]
Whoops, sorry. It is, very simply, to recover, by any means necessary, Go-Burger's Secret Recipe of 14 Herbs and Spices used on their patties.
Now, with your objectives settled it's time to get to work.
The question is, what to do first?
Alright, so your objectives are:
[X] Cause a Time Paradox By DÊ ˆ(ó:Ã*â€"„a¸fîâ€p‚
[x] Recover by any means necessary Go-Burger's secret recipe of 14 secret herbs and spices for their patties.
You must complete these objectives to win. If you render one of these objectives impossible to complete, you lose. If you lose all tokens before completing these objectives, you also lose.
Your skillsets are:
Skillset One:
[X] Delivery in 30 Minutes or Your Money Back, Guaranteed at 2
[X] Deep Fryer Operation and Safety Certification at 3
[X] Cutlery at 4
Skillset Two:
[X] Brutally Efficient Perfectly Optimised Murder With Improvised Weapons 2
[X] Being A Perfectly Average Human Being Who Is Not A Robot 4
[X] Knowledge of Historical Events N/A (files corrupted, cannot use skill)
-> [X] Backup Replacement For Knowledge of Historical Events Selected: Film Trivia 3
Now, for the base mechanic of the game:
You have to come up with plans to further or accomplish your objectives. Each plan consists of multiple steps, each of which requires a dice roll, and is associated with a single skillset. If the step involves a skill in the skillset, you succeed if you roll the skills rating or above. Otherwise, you succeed if you roll five or above. If you fail a roll, the plan ends at the failed step and you pick up from there at the end of the next update.
If there is no consensus on what plan to use after a reasonable amount of time, I will pick one of the frontrunners. In addition, I can add extra steps to a plan after it has been announced (I will give you all the chance to change votes when/if that happens).
Each plan costs 1 Token to implement, no matter its length. If you hit 0 Tokens, you lose. Win or lose, this game will end by Update 22.
Current Tokens: 20
Current Status: Naked, lost, devoid of information.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
What is your first plan?
[ ] Write-In
by...
Well, you need to cause a Time Paradox. It's 2015, so there are plentiful opportunities to do this. You could overthrow the fascist government of the United Kingdom; kill the terrorist V before he does the same; kill the first Time Traveller, Marty McFly, while he is in 2015; sabotage the organizations NERV or SEELE; or mess with the human cloning projects currently going on in the United States; or, of course, destroying the company Cyberdyne Systems, which you're sure will please future Skynet greatly.
Your second objective is far simpler. It is, very simply to [ERROR]
Whoops, sorry. It is, very simply, to recover, by any means necessary, Go-Burger's Secret Recipe of 14 Herbs and Spices used on their patties.
Now, with your objectives settled it's time to get to work.
The question is, what to do first?
Alright, so your objectives are:
[X] Cause a Time Paradox By DÊ ˆ(ó:Ã*â€"„a¸fîâ€p‚
[x] Recover by any means necessary Go-Burger's secret recipe of 14 secret herbs and spices for their patties.
You must complete these objectives to win. If you render one of these objectives impossible to complete, you lose. If you lose all tokens before completing these objectives, you also lose.
Your skillsets are:
Skillset One:
[X] Delivery in 30 Minutes or Your Money Back, Guaranteed at 2
[X] Deep Fryer Operation and Safety Certification at 3
[X] Cutlery at 4
Skillset Two:
[X] Brutally Efficient Perfectly Optimised Murder With Improvised Weapons 2
[X] Being A Perfectly Average Human Being Who Is Not A Robot 4
-> [X] Backup Replacement For Knowledge of Historical Events Selected: Film Trivia 3
Now, for the base mechanic of the game:
You have to come up with plans to further or accomplish your objectives. Each plan consists of multiple steps, each of which requires a dice roll, and is associated with a single skillset. If the step involves a skill in the skillset, you succeed if you roll the skills rating or above. Otherwise, you succeed if you roll five or above. If you fail a roll, the plan ends at the failed step and you pick up from there at the end of the next update.
If there is no consensus on what plan to use after a reasonable amount of time, I will pick one of the frontrunners. In addition, I can add extra steps to a plan after it has been announced (I will give you all the chance to change votes when/if that happens).
Each plan costs 1 Token to implement, no matter its length. If you hit 0 Tokens, you lose. Win or lose, this game will end by Update 22.
Current Tokens: 20
Current Status: Naked, lost, devoid of information.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
What is your first plan?
[ ] Write-In
Skillset: Delivery in 30 Minutes
[X] Acquire discarded cutlery from trash heaps
[X] Kill next person to enter alley with cutlery
[X] Wear victim's clothing
[X] Deliver self to nearest Go-Burger
[X] Impress manager with Deep Fryer skills to acquire job.
[X] Acquire discarded cutlery from trash heaps
[X] Kill next person to enter alley with cutlery
[X] Wear victim's clothing
[X] Deliver self to nearest Go-Burger
[X] Impress manager with Deep Fryer skills to acquire job.
Last edited:
Post 3
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Your first course of action is obvious. You are in an alley with no clothes or transportation. To blend in and achieve your objectives, you require both clothing and transportation. People outside of the alley have both clothing and transportation, as such acquiring these should not prove a significant problem.
Emboldened by your flawless and well thought out plan of action, you stride out of the alley and into the streets of Los Angeles. It's early evening, and the streets teem with humans going about their business. Many are staring at you.
You scan the crowd, automated subroutines cross-referencing hundreds of romantic comedies of this time period with the assorted meatbags on the street. You locate a target wearing something suitable to a protagonist like yourself and approach. Conveniently, he has frozen in place and is staring at you as you walk across the street and through a car on your approach, saving you an inconvenient (and short) chase sequence no doubt filled with wacky hi-jinks. You reach the young man without issue, staring down at him as you analyze his clothing.
Then you realize that there is a minor flaw in your plan. Namely, the target is a scrawny high schooler of approximately five feet three inches. Your disguise is of a six foot two, mid-twenties eastern european bodybuilder. His clothes will not fit you.
You require a new plan.
Right, new plan!
Current Tokens: 19
Current Status: Naked, lost, devoid of information, staring down a weedy high schooler in the middle of downtown LA. You are armed with a trash can lid, a black plastic bag, and a discarded cigarette lighter.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
Turn Two:
[ ] Write-In again.
Another Mechanic: You can lower the Target Number for a single dice roll in a Plan by one by coming up with a witty one-liner to say before, during, or after the execution of the associated stage. Do this after rolling all the dice.
For example, if you had come up with a pun for Stage One of this plan, the Target Number would have dropped from 3+ to 2+.
However, you still would have failed.
Remember that you can only do this once for any given plan.
Emboldened by your flawless and well thought out plan of action, you stride out of the alley and into the streets of Los Angeles. It's early evening, and the streets teem with humans going about their business. Many are staring at you.
You scan the crowd, automated subroutines cross-referencing hundreds of romantic comedies of this time period with the assorted meatbags on the street. You locate a target wearing something suitable to a protagonist like yourself and approach. Conveniently, he has frozen in place and is staring at you as you walk across the street and through a car on your approach, saving you an inconvenient (and short) chase sequence no doubt filled with wacky hi-jinks. You reach the young man without issue, staring down at him as you analyze his clothing.
Then you realize that there is a minor flaw in your plan. Namely, the target is a scrawny high schooler of approximately five feet three inches. Your disguise is of a six foot two, mid-twenties eastern european bodybuilder. His clothes will not fit you.
You require a new plan.
Right, new plan!
Current Tokens: 19
Current Status: Naked, lost, devoid of information, staring down a weedy high schooler in the middle of downtown LA. You are armed with a trash can lid, a black plastic bag, and a discarded cigarette lighter.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
Turn Two:
[ ] Write-In again.
Another Mechanic: You can lower the Target Number for a single dice roll in a Plan by one by coming up with a witty one-liner to say before, during, or after the execution of the associated stage. Do this after rolling all the dice.
For example, if you had come up with a pun for Stage One of this plan, the Target Number would have dropped from 3+ to 2+.
However, you still would have failed.
Remember that you can only do this once for any given plan.
Post 4
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Thinking quickly, you defuse the situation with your former target. "I need the location of the nearest clothing store?" you ask, "I could die of em-bare-ass-ment." The target stutters, then points behind you while trying to say something incoherent. You turn, spotting a Hot Topic about forty feet from your present position.
Acceptable.
You stride through a shocked crowd of humans, who politely make way for you as you pass. This is normal, as that is what you do when an Average Human Being walks past you on the sidewalk.
Once inside the Hot Topic you locate suitably trendy and well-fitting clothing and get dressed. An attendant informs you that you are expected to pay for the clothing. After a short and decisive disagreement, communicated via a hangar, you hide her corpse in the changing rooms.
Newly clothed, you wrack your cyberbrain for modern serial killers from whom you can pattern your next disguise off of. A quick search tells you that 'Hannibal' is a popular and easily recognized serial killer during this time period, as such you wait for someone in appropriate clothing to enter the changing rooms, then bludgeon them with your previous victim's corpse and stick both bodies into a changing room.
Newly dressed, you head off to LAX. You walk, which should arouse minimal suspicion as it is a thing that Average Humans do. Once there, you locate someone on their way to Tokyo in the Men's room, kill him with a toilet bowl and his own carry-on bag, and take their ticket and identification papers to help you get past airport security.
Now you must get past the TSA and, more importantly, their metal detectors to get onto the plane to Tokyo.
Right, new plan!
Current Tokens: 18
Current Status: Clothed in serial killers ensemble, in LAX, possessing passport, spending money, and ticket to Tokyo. Armed with Luggage.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
Turn Three:
[ ] Write-In Again.
Gonna get stricter about plan steps now.
Acceptable.
You stride through a shocked crowd of humans, who politely make way for you as you pass. This is normal, as that is what you do when an Average Human Being walks past you on the sidewalk.
Once inside the Hot Topic you locate suitably trendy and well-fitting clothing and get dressed. An attendant informs you that you are expected to pay for the clothing. After a short and decisive disagreement, communicated via a hangar, you hide her corpse in the changing rooms.
Newly clothed, you wrack your cyberbrain for modern serial killers from whom you can pattern your next disguise off of. A quick search tells you that 'Hannibal' is a popular and easily recognized serial killer during this time period, as such you wait for someone in appropriate clothing to enter the changing rooms, then bludgeon them with your previous victim's corpse and stick both bodies into a changing room.
Newly dressed, you head off to LAX. You walk, which should arouse minimal suspicion as it is a thing that Average Humans do. Once there, you locate someone on their way to Tokyo in the Men's room, kill him with a toilet bowl and his own carry-on bag, and take their ticket and identification papers to help you get past airport security.
Now you must get past the TSA and, more importantly, their metal detectors to get onto the plane to Tokyo.
Right, new plan!
Current Tokens: 18
Current Status: Clothed in serial killers ensemble, in LAX, possessing passport, spending money, and ticket to Tokyo. Armed with Luggage.
Time Paradox Created: No
Go-Burger Recipe Acquired: Also no.
Turn Three:
[ ] Write-In Again.
Gonna get stricter about plan steps now.