You did it.
You conquered the world.
It wasn't easy. It took a lot of hard work, years of scheming, investments in dental, OSHA non-compliance, copious blackmail, more copious strategic retreats, and an unconscionable number of threats directed at small woodland creatures - but you did it. For a year and a day, the world was your oyster and you reigned supreme. Not even your cookie cutter arch-nemesis could stop you!
Then, kind of predictably, you got bored.
Maybe you realized it when the Union of Evil started nipping at your heels to pay your minions for OT; or the day the King of Albion begged you to release his children and your reaction was 'wait, I'm pretty sure I remember where I stashed them, just gimme a mo'; or the day your arch-nemesis glowered at you from inside his ultra-super-hyper-maximum security prison while you played Pong with his face and you realized that this just wasn't fun anymore.
Where was the danger? The excitement? The feeling of victory as you laughed in the face of ohmygodwereallgoingtodie?
So you went back to the drawing board. You made lists, poured over old legends, visited retired villains, started up an apocalypse early, and got into a drunken fistfight with a god. You might have even taken the drastic step of consulting your advisers and then listened to what they had to say.
Nothing worked.
Nothing worked, until you had a deliciously eveel thought.
Why not do it again?
Not again again - even you wouldn't meddle with the streams of time especially after you won - but why change a winning formula? You conquered one world, so why not another? A new world! New challenges! New nemesi! It might be forbidden, but who cares? You're the ruler of the world! Muahahahahahaha!
So you broke the seals that should not be broken, cracked the tablets that should not be be cracked, pushed the big red buttons with the cautionary signs saying <Do Not Push - No, Seriously, Just Don't Do It! Yes This Means You, Asshole!>, and then did a little squeegee vandalism upon the window pane of reality.
Reality gave in and paid you to go away.
Now you're elsewhere and you will, muhahahaha, conquer the multiverse!
First, of course, you'll have to figure out where the heck it is you are.
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You see... (Choose 1)
[] a little girl and her pet alien abomination.
[] a little boy and his pet viral abom - whoops, no more little boy
[] a little overlord and his pet dungeon
[] write-in
Who are you? (Choose 1)
[] A man known as...
Lord of the Trembling Wastes, the Demon of the Western Hills, the Last Note, Crimson Death, Fury Without Pause, and the Really Bored But Evil Puppy Who Sometimes Needs To Be Played With Because He Didn't Get Enough Attention As A Child
[] A woman known as...
Witch of the Endless Abyss, Doom upon the Seas, Mother of Monsters, The Burnt Gate, The Cruelest Season, The Sixth Silence, and the Somewhat Unamused Evil Kitten Who Desperately Seeks Friends Because She Wants To Play With Others Drat It!
Traits (Choose 3)
Choose three Traits. These will be broadly representative of your history.
[] Supervillain. "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"
You might not be a renowned destroyer of countries; or a name-taking, hero-kicking antihero; or a monster spoken about in myth and legend to scare little children, but when it comes to being evil, none will reign supreme over you! Bonus when fighting villains and performing miscellaneous acts of - yuck! - heroism.
[] Minion Master. "Make my monster grow!"
Sometimes you need an army of mooks to tend to your every need. Sometimes, you just need one heckuva big mook to ruin an aspiring hero's day. Either way, you got it covered through a strict regimen of vitamins, growth hormones and the occasional bath in mutant pig blood and magic rituals. Bonus to minion actions and you have access to the Special, There's An Army In My Pocket.
[] Genre-Savvy. "Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing!"
You're smart. Not just conventionally smart, in the Lego-building, quickly insert-screw-B-into-slot-A way, but honestly savvy. You've studied the mistakes of your forebears, and the strengths of your enemies. You know when to press, and when to fold. Even under circumstances that defy all your careful research, you can quickly analyze the situation and determine the best course of action. Bonus when fighting heroes and performing miscellaneous acts of - muhahaha! - villainy.
[] Brainy. "The same thing we do every night: try to take over the world!"
Your nefarious plans have come close to fruition more times than you can properly count! The illiteracy beam! The skyquake pig! The tickle torture templars! The poodle pancake - okay, that last one only made money off the backs of pimply-faced teenagers and puppy mills, but the point is - you're really good at almost conquering the world. Bonus to technology and bonus to stewardship.
[] Brute force. "Now, shall you deal with ME - and all the powers of HELL!"
During your long, nefarious career you made a few, um, shady bargains. But let's be honest: the last time you couldn't solve a problem by turning into a dragon was... oh wait, that's right, never. Turning into a dragon is the answer to all of life's problems, and the nay-sayers are just jealous. Bonus to occult and bonus to martial.
[] Let's make a deal. "If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll."
Not only can you break out into song at the drop of a shell, but you have mastered the magic of contracts. Devils aren't the only ones who can make a deal - you can too, and all you really need need is consent. It doesn't matter if you included all the details in fine print - if they didn't read it, that's their fault. Bonus to diplomacy and gain access to the Special, Inviolate Contract Magic.
[] Ruthless. "NOTHING WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ME! NOT MEN! NOT WEAPONS! NOT ARMOR!!!"
Look, you can't conquer a world without breaking a few dozen... thousand eggs. It's just not how this business works! There's the necessary extortion, and then there's the necessary T&I, and let's not even get started on the dang unions! Sometimes you just need that secret police and doublethink education. Bonus to martial, bonus to intrigue.
[] Horrifying, but funny. "Bowels in or bowels out?"
No one appreciates what you do, but they do appreciate your style. You have a sense of humor that goes awfully well with a glass of chianti and the heart of your enemies. Literally. You literally ate the heart of your enemies. Oh, you'd grow them back, but only so you could do it again. Only choose this option if you want to do truly blackhearted and terrible things. Bonus to diplomacy and bonus to intrigue.
Ultimate Convenience In Cosmic Travel (Choose 1)
You can travel around the multiverse! You... can't really control it yet, but you have a broad idea of how it works. You will travel from world to world in a loop roughly - oh you have no idea, but it's a dang loop. Sooner or later you'll be back!
[] On the Clock
You will shift from world to world at a precise time of day. No exceptions. Better keep a watch handy! ('Hard' Mode)
[] My (Evil) Spider-Senses are Tingling!
You will shift from world to world whenever you're in serious danger. Or maybe in danger from a paper cut. It's kind of hard to say. ('Normal' Mode)
[] I Beat Up Reality For Its Lunch Money
You can shift worlds whenever you want to - but only forward, never back. ('Easy' Mode)