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Glorious Shotgun Princess, Thread 3

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GreggHL said:
You're now imagining, when TIM goes to confront the entity which stole his organization, him telling her;

TIM: "I plowed your Mom."
Dragon: "And I watched."
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SWLiHN: "Meh. What my sister-in-law does on her own time is her own business."
Dragon: "...she's not your sister-in-law."
SWLiHN: "Yet."
 
For some reason I'm now really hoping that the Exaltation TIM is using was Marus' back in the day.
 
TheSandman said:
For some reason I'm now really hoping that the Exaltation TIM is using was Marus' back in the day.
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Sadly, TIM is a Defiler, which means there's a chance he's Bright Shattered Ice. Which means that TIM may start wearing her outfits.

(and yes, I know Arianne is Bright Shattered Ice but I can't give a shit about the 2e face characters.)
 
Maes said:
Aaaand then they BOTH have to deal with it when the goddam Clone shows up. :p
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Pfff. You think I'm going to use the Clone when I can just have the plot of Citadel be Shepard vs. Mnemon?
 
Who is to say something didn't happen to Arianne before GSP got started? I can quite easily see TED arranging for an accident so that SWLiHN could give the exaltation to TIM, intending on sweeping in to steal TIM from her.

.. and I think I just overdosed on acronyms .. :confused:
 
Talon88.1 said:
Honestly, I'm not sure if Kejak is going to view God-Auto as a threat. I mean, let's face it, he's likely watching and hearing everything Auto just said.

...Yeah no, Kejack's gonna cut a bitch with space-time.
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Auto is a god on the level of The incarne last I heard.
 
Talon88.1 said:
Honestly, I'm not sure if Kejak is going to view God-Auto as a threat. I mean, let's face it, he's likely watching and hearing everything Auto just said.

...Yeah no, Kejack's gonna cut a bitch with space-time.
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He'll probably be relieved that Auto is just a god now, rather than a Primordial.

Even given that this version of Auto is more or less the Sperglord Incarna, he's still going to be far easier to deal with than the autistic cancerous eldritch abomination that tried to LARP as a human instead of just cosplaying like the other Primordials.

I'm amazed Ketchup hasn't keeled over yet, though. IIRC, he's got only a few years left at most before he hits the absolute age limit for Sidereals, and that's in the canon setting of "five years since Her Redness disappeared". Given that we appear to be at least a year or two past that point in GSP, the fact that he's still around means that either he somehow found a way to give himself a bit more time or he could literally snuff it at any moment.
 
Stonebrow said:
Firstly, I'm intrigued and surprised that exalted can die from old age. Secondly, Gregg has never been shy of altering a setting when necessary for the good of the story. It could be that he's just a decade younger in this story. That would be perfectly reasonable if he wanted Ketchup dude to be a part of the plot for a longer period of time.
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Maiden of Endings insisted that all Exalts have an upper age limit, which is probably for the best if you look at how bad the First Age Solars were. IIRC, it went something like this:

Dragonblooded: 400-600 years, cap at ~1000
Solars/Lunars: 2000-3000 years
Sidereals: Absolute Maximum of 5000 years, though can be circumvented with a Stone of Immortality (one of which Ketchup undoubtedly has access to)

For the newer Exalts, I believe:

Alchemicals: Immortal (No interference from the Saturn)
Abyssals: Immortal (though their bosses will be angry if they try to live that long)
Infernals: 150 year flat max, at which point they drop dead; can live longer at E6+; immortal if they go Devil-Tiger
 
By my count Kal'Reeger has commited at least 4 severity 1-2 offenses. Possibly a severity 3-4 if that Catgirl was Essence 6 or higher.

Looking forward to the audit.
 
I had been under the impression that the Stone of Immortality provided a loophole -- it doesn't extend your max age, it stops you from aging completely, so you would never hit the hard cap. Was that incorrect?
 
I interpret the lifespan as a combination of hard limit and also destiny. Chejop is destined to 'See the end of two ages,' implying that he will live to the end of the Second Age- which will be around the end of his 5000th year. Whether this is a hard limit, or merely that Saturn foresaw that Chejop would life 5000 years and see the end of the Second Age, is unclear.

With the Maidens, things are rarely clear.
 
A promise to help lead to...sweeter...things. A night of joyous feasting, celebration. Shouts against the desert, followed by drinks to eventual freedom. He ended up back in the main hut, where Sessi, the mother, the queen, walked him into her private chambers. What followed was something...impressive, even by his standards.

It's a shame the Dragon showed up halfway through it and began offering color commentary. When Jack made it a point to ignore him, he just kept going on and on about anything. Meaningless tripe and filthy jokes, shadow puppets and horrible, off key songs.

"...and so a noble warrior with a artifact sword set forth to oppose me! But before the final blow could be struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! And that's what happened to my Fetich soul."

A crystalline eye opens, peering past the bare shoulder of the woman in the bed with him. Even in the dim light of the moonless sky, his own senses, his own sight-beyond-sight, lets him see the coiled black serpent hovering over a hookah next to the bed and puffing out smoke rings.

Head on the pillow, sheets of red and silver splayed about them both, one of the two humans in the room is awake. The other continues sleeping, her back to him, gold and silver hair fallen around her like streams of sand. Floating next to the bed, the serpent places the pipe back into the hookah. Winds blow, fluttering through the curtained windows.

The Dragon sets itself down on a mat across from them, framed in the dim light and lips parted in a smile of worn, ugly teeth.

"Oh hello, Jack. You've decided to stop pretending I'm not there. Would you like to know the true identity of the woman you had been performing the 69 with, or as I like to call it, Nature's Most Delicious Sandwich?"

Green eyes open and illuminate the room with a soft glow. They narrow, and Sessi glares, her lips turned downwards. "You," she breathes.

A trilling, wet gurgle escapes the mouth of the shadow-creature. Tendrils of blackest pitch wrap around it and snap out. A table from the corner of the room is pulled over for it to prop its elbow on. It pulls the pipe out of the hookah and puffs again.

"Me," the dragon purrs, "So. What aspect of you is this, dear sister? I'm going to guess the part that likes being spanked and told that she's a good girl."
 
Well...poor Jack. Having to listen to that while trying to get his mack on. He's still got it though...appearently.
 
horngeek said:
Yeah, that's the point- I remember some theories being flung around about what the ED's Fetich Soul might be, and Samurai Jack was essentially one of the ideas.

Because the idea of the Ebon Dragon's heart being a hero has a certain ironic appeal.
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Ah! That one. In other words: EDie is one giant accumulation of pure lies that became sentient?
 
Stonebrow said:
Except TED only lies, so it's not true. Unless it is anyway. Hey, if TED said "This statement is a lie." would he be lying? I'm tempted to say it isn't a paradox if he says it.
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Yes, it would count as a lie, for he is the Ebon Dragon, even the truths he speaks are lies.
 
horngeek said:
Well, now we know which theory of the Ebon Dragon's Fetich Soul Gregg subscribes to. :D
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No, we know one conjecture that the Ebon Dragon has thought of or is aware of.
Stonebrow said:
Except TED only lies, so it's not true. Unless it is anyway. Hey, if TED said "This statement is a lie." would he be lying? I'm tempted to say it isn't a paradox if he says it.
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He doesn't always lie, he just usually lies, because lies are frequently more amusing and obnoxious than truths.

A more honest version of the Ebon Dragon
 
Monshroud said:
Wonder if the Raksha will make an appearance in the Mass Effect universe. Considering that humanity has lesgends concerning the Fair Folk, the interactions will certainly be interesting...
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The only way how to live in "peace" with Raksha is bashing their heads-in every few decades or so (by "bashing" I mean sending a big army, kill a few billion and make the rest fear you). It did wonders during the rule of the Primordials and later the Deliberative. Pity the Dragonblooded and Sidereals forgot this little fact.
 
Nicholai said:
Guys, guys, guys. You are all way off base.

TED is obviously Bill Gates. ;)
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You mean the Ebon Dragon gives millions to charity and devotes himself to educating children in third world countries that don't have access to clean water, schools, or electricity under normal circumstances?
 
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