Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted) Thread #2

[GreggHL]

Scraped from here.

Table of Contents

Well, the previous thread has broken reality/the board, so let's start a new one! Same rules apply as always, and I shall be adding snippies/other stuff soon enough. As well as updating the ToC.

Previous Thread

All credit goes to Kimia for the Table of Contents:

Snip .1a Illium; Super!Shepard; Tali; Garrus; Miranda
Snip .1b Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
Snip .1b2 Rewrite of .1b and .1a; Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
Snip .1c Normandy Wreck; Dying; Exaltation
Snip .1d Bury the Dead
Snip .1e Mercs Appear; Bullet Dodging; Dead Shuttle
Snip .1f Use Merc as Weapon; Another Dead Shuttle
Snip .1g Hot Tub; Thermal Clips; Appearence Upgrade; Geth Surprise
Snip .1h Getting Dressed; Talking Geth; Named WUFFLES
Snip .1i Out of Reach Ship; Silly Wuffles; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
Snip .1ib More Detail; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
Snip .1j Shelter; Bath; Thermal Clips look like...; Shouldn't Ask
Snip .1k Talking with Geth; Explainations
Snip .1l Asari; Anger; Yet another dead shuttle; Shadow Broker
Snip .1m Bury The Dead; Mediation; Hot Tub Time; Peeping Geth; Don't Ask; Asked Anyways
Snip .1n Liara; Way to ruin the moment
Snip .1o Liara; Meet the Wuffles; What
Chapter One

Snip .2a Jane; Krogan; Punch
Snip .2b Jane; Krogan; Punch; Illium; Liara; Make a Plan
Snip .2c Illium; Liara; Make a Plan; Miranda; Geth!; Catch a Bullet
Snip .2d Wake up; Need a Drink
Snip .2e For science!; Cry Me a River
Snip .2f Wake up; Need a Drink; Break the Science; Noticing lies; Hello, Matriarch
Snip .2g So?; In my time; Meet the Father
Snip .2h Talking about family; Buzzing Lying
Snip .2i Talking about family; Buzzing Lying; Arriving; Everything goes boom
Snip .2j Shepard is not amused; Super!Shepard jump
Snip .2k Reports and firefights; Bullet dodging; Innuendo; Guns can be useful without bullets; Always listen to the minions
Snip .2l Betrayal; Gimme; The pilot; Start the Chase!
Snip .2m Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Push the Button; Punch Everything
Snip .2mb Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip
Snip .2n Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip; Push the Button; Punch Everything; TRUCK!
Snip .2o Impossibilities; This thing got Weapons?; More Crazy Driving; Always Buckle Up
Snip .2p Get off my car!; Here's Wuffles!; Stopping with a punch; Geth give the best gifts; Bad-ass boast
Snip .2q Dizzy; The Result of the crazy driving; Azure; Innuendo; Punch card; Freebie; TMI
Snip .2r Fight time; Talk while fighting
Chapter Two

Snip .3a Wuffles hates elevators; Why hello, Miss Zorah; Exit: Through the Roof
Snip .3b Tide turning; Rise, child of the sun; Illuminate
Snip .3c That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator
Snip .3cb That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator; Prazza
Snip .3d You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running
Snip .3e Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already
Snip .3f You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running; Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already; I'm driving; Pet Geth?; The Claw Hammer; :insert record scratch: What
Snip .3g Interrogation through terror; bullshit detector; Not dropping the coffee; Admitting the truth; Bad track record; Bring in the taco cart; Oh, Joker, how close to the truth
Snip .3h TIM; Report, Lawson; All going to plan; Oh, Shit
Snip .3i Cerberus just can't get it right; Betting on the outcome; Miranda, stop interrupting!; And the AI did what?
Snip .3j Landing; Digging a deeper hole; That was a joke; "You're all idiots and need to watch the safety videos again"; Cerberus screwed up in reverse
Snip .3k Girl next door; Like the ship?; Joker does!
Snip .3l AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes
Snip .3m Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!
Snip .3n AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes; Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!; Big reveal; What all the buzzing was about
Snip .3o TIMmy; EMI; Status and Odds; ...Silver floating sphere...?
Snip .3p Details, Gimme details; Hold on, taking notes; I've got an idea...
Chapter Three

Snip .4a TMI, Kelly; Oh, Wuffles...; Kelly did what?; Missed the point, Wuffles
Snip .4b Yes, we do watch you walk, Tali; So, EDI, life story?; Troll EDI trolling
Snip .4c So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet
Snip .4d So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet; Meet the boss; TIMmy!; The Zenith
Snip .4e Thief; Singing a song of doom; Zoo time; Mailing something with teeth
Snip .4f Now hear this; You can be better; Taking the Ship
Snip .4g Onwards!; You have a call; Teleportation ain't no thang; Mindhax; Behold the Sidereal
Snip .4h Mindhax are fun; You're new; More mindhax; Auntie Kasumi's Magical Kung Fu School for Girls
Snip .4i More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit
Snip .4ib More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit; Wait, What?
Snip .4j Have some strength; What; Joker's mind: BROKEN
Snip .4k Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally
Snip .4kb Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally; More detail
Snip .4l Quarians drive normally; Leather seats; Incoming; Look into the universe
Snip .4m Dynamic Entry; Why, hello there!; Awesome answer; Meet me in my office
Snip .4n TIMmy doing TIMmy things; Well that didn't send a chill down my spine at all!
Snip .4o So, here it is; Sorry, need more evidence; Have a mentor
Snip .4p Awww, it's so cute; So a geth and an AI walk down a street
Snip .4q Geth do not intentionally infiltrate
Snip .4r Oh, Shepard; Let's teach you how to walk like a lady; Strutting time!
Snip .4s There are no fish in the Presidium lake; Oh not Al-Jilani; Break the camera; That was a joke
Snip .4t Oh snap; Reaper time!
Snip .4u Bring popcorn; Walk like a female, Shepard; High heels are evil; Land on your face
Snip .4v Liara walks like a professor; Tali and high heels; Enter the original krogan walker; Hannah Shepard; Where'd you get the boobs?
Chapter Four

Snip .5a Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?
Snip .5ab Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?; Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...
Snip .5b Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...; Udina is not surprised
Snip .5c Too much information; Not gonna sleep tonight; I am the Dawn
Snip .5d Can't look her in the eye; Memories of a different life
Snip .5e Boarding; Kasumi's little 'gift'; Where's that music coming from...; Oh crap moment
Snip .5f Puppet is kicking ass; Team work time
Snip .5g Liara, stop talking; Bullet to the knee; Geth to the rescue
Snip .5h Kasumi's little gift reveals a secret
Snip .5i Sooooo, this is new; Gods are interesting; Transfer Memories; Solar Hero Style
Snip .5j Fight scene of awesome; Surrender is an option
Snip .5k Badass boast; Social fu; Back to work
Snip .5l Always think before you turn off the power
Snip .5m Oh crap moment; Jane is not amused by bullshit tactics
Snip .5n Not the time to be arguing; Efficiency of course; Now just what, but What the Hell; The List of Insanity
Snip .5o Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom
Snip .5p Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom; Limiter off?; Aw crap moment; Parry punches with punches; Kasumi to the rescue!
Snip .5q Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe
Snip .5qb Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe; Husk time!; Stop talking, Liara
Snip .5r Wuffles, I don't think this is a good idea...
Snip .5s Harbinger, stop monologuing; Heading into the eye of the storm
Snip .5t Siddie says no
Snip .5u Wuffles would be great on a debate team...; Armor piercing question away!
Snip .5v Harbinger likes messing with your head; Oh shit moment, big oh shit moment
Snip .5w Wuffles pushes all of the buttons; Been spending too much time around Shepard, have we?
Snip .5x Gregg is trolling us again...
Chapter Five

Snip .6a Tali's moment of pure badassness.
Snip .6b Wuffles has a stockpile of awesome quotes; EDI: Goddess of the Trolls
Snip .6c Good teamwork and planning; And then it all goes to hell
Snip .6d Aw shit moment; Joker to the rescue!; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?; Gendo pose!Hannah; Boom, sucker
Snip .6db Joker to the rescue!; Details; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?
Snip .6e Gotta get off; Tali doesn't feel good; Forgot someone?; Break reality, escape
Snip .6f Back on ship; Medbay time; Escape ends up where?
Snip .6g Kasumi to the rescue again; So that's where she learned how to punch sickness out of people; Break reality
Snip .6h Seeker, die in a fire; The Reapers like trolling us; Kicked into the void
Snip .6i Bad feeling scenery; Really bad feeling; The bigger fish is unleashed; ...Oh TIMmy, what did you do?!
Snip .6j Tali is having a panic attack; Explanation: bullshit magic; Wuffles!
Snip .6k Wait, you're how old?; Where are we?; Joker says what we're all thinking
Snip .6l Ship graveyard
Snip .6m A look into Joker's personality; Dead Reapers
Snip .6n 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish
Snip .6nb 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish; A single point of space; Hitching a ride; Wuffles was combing Tali's hair :sqee:; Exalted Creator
Snip .6o Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste
Snip .6ob Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste; Looks like a keeper
Snip .6p SWLIHN likes messing with things
Snip .6q Oh, Wuffles...; Surprise!
Snip .6r Joker info; EDI found... something to fix the ship; What would you call that?
Snip .6s ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...
Snip .6sb ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...
Snip .6sc ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...; Wuffles protecting Tali; The machine is insane; You may call me Autochthon.
Chapter Six

Snip .7a City of Persistent Righteous Protector; Didn't that coming
Snip .7b Lots of names for the same thing; First mention of Viator
Snip .7c The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on.
Snip .7d Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7db Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7e The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on; Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7f Spider Girl? Time to drink!; Joker has interesting porn; Joker knows the squad way too well
Snip .7g Proof that Auto is insane
Snip .7gb Proof that Auto is insane; Poor Tali; FOR GREAT SCIENCE!
Snip .7h The answer to Hannah's question; Liara's fangirling
Snip .7i Oh shit moment
Snip .7ib Oh shit moment; "Why does this always happen?"
Snip .7k Stupid firewall; Epic fight
Snip .7l Sidereal says oh crap; Asari catfight; Keep running
Snip .7m Poor Tali, she'll never like pinball again; Wuffles' hips brings all the AIs/Alchemicals/Admirals to the yard
Snip .7n Flashbacks are never good; Kasumi is broken
Snip .7o That's... really big
Snip .7ob Redone; Pitfall
Snip .7p Deus and Auto have a bad habit of yanking the ground out from under you; Spread eagle once more; Meet Deus Machina
Snip .7q Everything is a weapon, if used right
Snip .7qb Everything is a weapon, if used right; And Shepard learns just what she's fighting
Snip .7r Logos of Deus Machina; Liara likes to share things
Snip .7s Jacob is happy, gosh darn it; Siddie Meltdown; Mr. Taylor just went up in my list of Nice People
Snip .7t Shepards lost her clothes... again
Snip .7tb Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade
Snip .7tc Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade; Pria has a bone to pic with Kasumi; Armor made from guns
Snip .7u Liara is acting like Ree; He knows all the things
Snip .7v Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:
Snip .7vb Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:; Redirect angry Tali
Snip .7w Shepard likes her new armor; Blightborn; Fixed firewall
Snip .7x Tali does not like spiders
Chapter Seven

Snip .8a ...What?
Snip .8ab Rewrite of the what; Life cycles
Snip .8b A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES
Snip .8ba A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details
Snip .8bc A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details; To the Med-bay; Joker see all
Snip .8c Joker on a ladder; Scale itch
Snip .8cb Joker on a ladder; Scale itch; Oh, EDI
Snip .8d Matron stage; Bullshit radar; One hundred and sixty three?!
Snip .8e Bring on the peace talks
Snip .8eb Bring on the peace talks; Auto needs decaf
Snip .8f And the shit has hit the fan; TIMmy, you brought this on yourself
Snip .8g Auto is... messing with the Normandy; Auto, you loveable nut
Snip .8h Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving
Snip .8hb Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving; Hannah, Jane, and Udina on one ship...
Snip .8i Galactic Overseer Shinmai; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
Snip .8ib SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
Snip .8ic SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on; 9,999 Perfect spheres around Momma Sphere; Harbinger has been kicked from the server, Attempt to reconnect?
Snip .8j Bad idea, Shepard; Details of the Universe
Snip .8k Garrus and his band of crimefighters
Snip .8kb Garrus and his band of crimefighters; Meet the team; I have this feeling that that thing is important...
Snip .8l Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying
Snip .8lb Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying; Lunar; Luna is pretty
Snip .8m Lunar Garrus; Deep space a warehouse; Squad is understandably freaked out; Let the shape-shifting begin
Chapter Eight

Snip .9a Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol
Snip .9b Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
Snip .9c TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine
Snip .9d Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly
Snip .9e Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane
Snip .9f Training fight; Kasumi cheats
Snip .9fb Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection
Snip .9g The correct order; Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol; TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine; Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane; Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly; Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection; Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
Snip .9h Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now
Snip .9hb Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things
Snip .9hc Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things; Fixing of boots; Integrated Artifact Transmogrifier; Furry Spider Cat Girl now; Tali shall never stop screaming; Udina has seen too many things to freak out anymore
Snip .9i You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking
Snip .9ib You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech
Snip .9ic You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech; Miranda, runnnnnn!; Ooooh, good distraction, Auto!
Snip .9j Oh, Auto...; Rael's a busybody; REEGAR!
Snip .9k Reegars are badass; Tali can hold her booze; Kelly likes talking; Surprise guest
Snip .9l So, there's a Reegar and Geth; That hole is useful; Oh, Wuffles, this can only end in tears
Snip .9m Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...
Snip .9mb Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...; Vasir can still keep Rael in line; Skyrim joke and-; Oh Auto, that was such a bad idea...
Snip .9n Geth on the Extranet; College courses; PhD; The Extranet: Where the girl in your class is a geth
Snip .9o Auto, you nutty little; Auto has a plan; Wuffles can still mute Auto
Snip .9p Miranda has stopped being shocked; Feron is sneaky; Glyph; Did Feron just offer Miranda the job I think he did?
Snip .9q Shepard did it; Undercut the fight before it begins; Explain the situation; Wuffles is hiding something
Snip .9r Miranda has a new hat; Auto shows terrifying things

Snip .10a Aw, crap, SWLIHN is up to something; Pretty imagery
Snip .10b Jenny the armor maker; Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right
Snip .10bb Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right; Claims accepted; Shepard's getting an advisor...
Snip .10c Sneaking a geth to the fleet; Wait a minute...; Sneaky geth is sneaky; Well, there's a bombshell
Snip .10d I have no idea what this means, but it fills me with dread; Chosen of Journeys
Snip .10e Vessae did something stupid; Info on Vessae's backstory; Oh crap moment
Snip .10f Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way
Snip .10fb Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way; Wuffles; Shepard did it; Girlfriend; Xen is interested
Snip .10g Well, shit; Viator
Snip .10gb Well, shit; Viator; Viator is a stubborn blockhead; Auto, please have a plan
Snip .10h Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome
Snip .10hb Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome; Another oh crap moment; Collectors are creepy
Snip .10i Harbinger, Vessae, and the idea of getting the hell outta there
Snip .10j Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke
Snip .10jb Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke; Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
Snip .10jc Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
Snip .10k Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears
Snip .10kb Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears; The Crazies; Stuck with Sunshine
Snip .10l Jarvik is awesome as a Solar
Snip .10m It was in the beacon!; Exaltation: Kaleb
Snip .10n Eden Prime; Reapers a reaping
Snip .10o Wake up, Boss; We knew thee but a moment
Snip .10ob We knew thee but a moment; Another one; Goodbye; Wake up already!
Snip .10p Flashback; Well, crap; YES!; The boss is up!
Snip .10q Why you should never get in the way of a shard with a purpose
Snip .10r Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop
Snip .10rb Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
Snip .10rc Revision; Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
Snip .10s All the markings of not good; Someone's still angry; This can only end in tears

Snip .11a Shepard... in a dress; Oh my; Dry spell; Revenge
Snip .11b Kaidan in a bar; Turian drunk; Fight time; Mordin is a sneaky bastard
Snip .11c Dress shopping; Can hide stuff in there; Much bigger
Snip .11d Hackett; It's better if you didn't ask, Admiral
Snip .11e The plan; Hock; The Blitz in a towel; Kasumi is good
Snip .11f You poor boy; Kasumi is gonna have fun
Snip .11g A touching story with a bar tab; Getting all the looks; Security sucks
Snip .11h And the universe takes a sharp turn off course; Wasn't expecting that; Aria knows when to leave
Snip .11i Play nice for awhile; Stabby?; Steal interesting things
Snip .11j Oh, for...; Shepard's Dress; Hidden surprise; Can fit a gun in there
Snip .11k Open the box!; Was not what was expected; Angry mammal with teeth and claws
Snip .11l Stealing all sorts of things today; Outta the teacup
Snip .11m Oh, crap; Jane has some very protective instincts; Jenny...; And the plan goes bust
Snip .11n Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
Snip .11nb Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
Snip .11o Patch; Calling out the hypocrite
Snip .11ob Patch; Calling out the hypocrite; Wait; Does this mean that Jane gets the hangover too?; Pria is not a VI
Snip .11p Aria is awesome; Jack and Aria would totally get along
Snip .11q Jenny is a weapons geek; ...Deadpan: What?
Snip .11r That is one awesome name pun
Snip .11rb That is one awesome name pun; Well, that was a surprise!
Snip .11s ...Wrex; Did he just...?
Snip .11sb ...Wrex; Did he just...?; Don't piss off the thief
Snip .11t Teehee; Samara's gonna have fun
Snip .11u Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto
Snip .11ub Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto; ooooh, Chekhov!

Snip .12a Kelly likes the shower; Shipping ahoy!; ...How'd that get on the ship?
Snip .12b Wuffles...; Back to the quarians; Bad idea detected!
Snip .12c Hackett just punched a metal dinosaur in the face; I love this story
Snip .12d EDI is talking about herself with capital letters; ...And why is she talking in plural?
Snip .12e Garrus is having fun!
Snip .12f Geth; Archer; Orianna
Snip .12g Garrus really is having fun; Bad naming pun; FALCON -
Snip .12h Second what EDI says; What the fuck?
Snip .12i Like a hentai anime
Snip .12ib Like a hentai anime; Enter: Badass Joker
Snip .12j Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat
Snip .12jb Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?
Snip .12jc Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?; Heaven; Gods; What?
Snip .12k Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face
Snip .12ka Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face; Kids?
Snip .12l It's a what?!; Udina: Unfazed by anything
Snip .12m Oh, Joker, you have no idea
Snip .12mb Joker got lucky; In more than one way
Snip .12n Jenny is paranoid; Liara is not amused
Snip .12o So, a Spectre and a Justicar walk into a bar...
Snip .12p What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?
Snip .12q Krogans are different; Nine Sages
Snip .12r What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?; Krogans are different; Nine Sages; Kalros is the boss
Snip .12s Back story of Samara
Snip .12t Awkward family catching up
Snip .12tb Awkward family catching up; Bonding over drinking; Back story of Samara; So a drell and a Justicar
Snip .12u N7 training sounds interesting; Drinking stories; Miranda is not amused; She's also badass
Snip .12v Is that...?; It is!; Bad guys talking

Snip .13a So, some quarians and a geth go adventuring...; Auto did something; Giant robots...; Uhoh
Snip .13b Drinking contests; Thane and Samara; Madilrada; Uhoh
Snip .13c Liara; Hangover cure; Wrex; Liara has a very bad idea
Snip .13d Kasumi; Climbing a skyscraper; Oh, so not a good idea; Appointment to keep
Snip .13e Artifact collector; Kraken?; Madilrada; Interesting
Snip .13f Kasumi; Garrus; Pria; Surprise?
Snip .13g Adienna; Tali; Ewwww
Snip .13gb Adienna; Tali; Ewwww; Always mute your omnitool when talking about heroic sex gods; Well, this should be interesting
Snip .13h Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun
Snip .13hb Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun; Uhoh
Snip .13i Reegar; Wuffles; Guy talk; Bosh'tets
Snip .13j Shepard; Catalyst; Oh shit
Snip .13k Morinth; Liara; Don't piss off the geeky asari
Snip .13l Shepard; Shapshifting Catalyst; Ah, crap moment
Snip .13m Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap
Snip .13mb Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap; Then again...; Liara thinks fast
Snip .13n Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?
Snip .13nb Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?; Tali did something awesome
Snip .13o Gravity cannon; And then everything goes to an "Ah Shit" moment
Snip .13p Shepard; Catalyst; Morinth; Liara; Make a deal; Out the wall
Snip .13pb Shepard; Morinth; Liara; Out the wall; Epic catfight time
Snip .13q Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; "Do you trust us?"
Snip .13r Tali; Auto; Calling bullshit on all that; Auto has a fighting form...
Snip .13s Reegar; Wuffles; Did... did Kal just go superhero on the geth?
Snip .13t Wrex; Just freaking awesomeness
Snip .13u Thane; Samara; Shepard; Poor Samara is just wasted...
Snip .13ub Shepard; Annoyed Exalted; Nice pun
Snip .13v Auto; Tali; Auto finds fighting... refreshing
Snip .13w Terminal; Reegar; Oh, this is going to be glorious

Snip .14a Leaping Sky; Mystery woman; Catalyst...; What
Snip .14b Jenny Shepard; Oh, the genius of a spark
Snip .14c Reegar; Wuffles; Superhero Reegar; Prog knife!
Snip .14d Well, that doesn't fill me with dread at all... /sarcasm
Snip .14e Reegar; Wuffles; Forget the gun, just punch him
Snip .14eb Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; Auto; Tali; Forget the gun, just punch him; Dis~traction!
Snip .14f Tali; Auto; Terminal; Auto has learned the fun of beating the crap outta of bad guys
Snip .14g Well, shit; Reegar blasting off
Snip .14h Reegar in the sky with enlightened geth; Enlightenment is...
Snip .14i Memory of long ago; Bright Star
Snip .14j More memories; Mystery woman; Auto
Snip .14k The Circle; Mnemon Lilloss Urpa; Chosen of Journeys
Snip .14l Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!
Snip .14lb Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!; Wuffles! No killstealing!

CODEX: Admirals and their craziness
CODEX: Turian/Human Pop Culture Exchange
CODEX: Apparent Human Stupidity
CODEX: AI Psychosis and the Causes Of
CODEX: Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya

Omake: Quick Explanation on Luna Shape-acquiring rules in Glorious Shotgun Princess, as explained in a short Omake
Omake??: Luna?
OMAKE: Drunk!Shepards; Keep an eye on the boss; Shepards are assholes when drunk
Omake?: Grunt is not to be messed with
Omake?2: Grunt is not to be messed with; Is that Skyrim?
Omake?3: Little bit too much fun, Garrus
Future snip: Kaiden; Liara; Illium; The time between games; Classical dancing
Omake: Garrus,; Ate a geth; Tali; TMI

Snip Idea .1
Snip Idea .2

 

[GreggHL]

The massive room is lined with red. It looks, from first glance, like leather. But it moves, pulses in time. Golah enters as the white ribbed curtains part, followed by Wrex. "Excuse me, but I rarely entertain guests," the Sage explains, "The occasional visitor, the occasional scholar. The Winds have been rather aggressive lately, and they usually devour visitors before I find them."

The sage rests on the walking staff, turning to the Battlemaster. "Are you thirsty? Let me get you something to drink."

The old krogan walks across the sinewy floor, leaning on the staff, past the foam like couches and bone white tables. Leaning the staff on the wall, the krogan grips the handles built into it and pulls. Cold air pours into the room, white light illuminating the shadows as a voice of mournful agony shakes the walls, begging for release. For oblivion.

"Later," Golah says, retrieving two crystal flasks, and closes the doors of the makeshift ice box.

Wrex simply stares, before sitting down on one of the wrinkled couches. It contours to his shape, shifting around him to better accommodate him. Wordlessly, he takes the offered flask and takes a deep pull, finding it refreshing. And strong.

"The occasional screams from my home keep away the Winds," Golah explains, leaning back on one of the couches, "They fear loud noises. And, the fight that my home gave me made quite a few." The lips part into a toothy smile. "It's also why I let it live. The occasional moan, shriek..."

A bell tolls. Reaching next to the couch, Golah rises, taking long strides across the open room. In one hand, the Sage produces a long pick, bone white and blood stained. With a single, smooth motion, the pick is driven to the hilt into the leathery wall. The room shakes and a shriek echoes. Nodding, Golah pounds the wall three times with a the back of the hand.

"There," the Sage says, removing the pick, "I am trying to install a pool. Last time, it turned cystic." Walking back with a shake of the head, the tongue clicks. "I am training my home to be obedient."

Collapsing back onto the couch, the Sage tents fingers in front of the face, cocking a bushy eyebrow. "Now. What can I do for you?"

Wrex taps his fingers on the armrest of the couch. His mind struggles, whirring. Some part of him realizes that he has finally met a Krogan who is more Krogan than him.

"Well," he says, "Well. Yes." He blinks, glancing from side to side. "I've never met a Krogan like you, first off." He takes another sip of the strong liquid. "You said I was a berserker?"

Golah nods. "Yes. Which is why it impresses me that you found me." Hands folded, the Sage grins. "I would expect a Scholic, or messenger of some sort. Not a Berserker."

Wrex cocks an eyebrow. "Don't know what those are." He leans back, smirking. "I'm the only kinda Krogan you find, really," he rumbles, "And that gives me an idea just how old the guy in front of me is."

A small laugh from the sage. "And gives an idea of how much Tuchanka has changed," Golah says, "Because you think I'm a man." Grinning, she leans forward, popping the staff up next to her. "I hear these words from you, hanging about you like a shroud. Clan. Genophage. Rebellions." Eyes narrow. Lips curl into a smirk. "Tell me, Wrex. It has been millennial times since I set foot on Mother Rock and communed with Mother Star. What has happened to our home?"

 

[GreggHL]

The Normandy's elevator opens to reveal the massive doors of her quarters. Back on the old Normandy, her room was a bunk, a desk, and a toilet. Cerberus' upgrade was a loft bigger than a penthouse suite on the Presidium.

Her hand hovers over the green circle. It is now that Jane Shepard realizes that she has been away from the Normandy for several days. Several days where Autochthon and Iri were given free reign, and it makes her wonder one important question.

Have they upgraded my quarters?

Green eyes narrow. Ideas, thoughts come to mind. Her loft may have a lava floor now. The model spaceships she keeps on her desk may be armed and equipped with mass effect cores. Her door could lead to a pocket dimension where she is Moon-chosen Empress of the Galaxy.

Stepping back, she reaches out and presses the button with her finger. Air hisses, the doors open, and Jane opens her eyes to find her loft exactly as it was when she left it. "Oh thank God," she mutters, shoulders slumping. Shaking her head, Shepard stomps into her loft, hands on her back and stretching as she yawns.

Rolling her head to an audible crack, she kicks off her boots and works her jaw. She has a meeting in thirty minutes with her staff- Kaidan, the Salarian observer, the grunts she has onboard now, and whoever else she has because she stopped reading her roster when she realized Alenko was onboard.

"Wondering when you'd get here."

Shepard spins, sock clad feet failing to catch on the metal floor. She slips, she pitches through the air, and ends up standing on the corner of her table, balancing on her big toe.

Sitting on the couch, feet up on the table, he flicks his mandibles and grins. "Neat trick," Garrus says, "You learn how to fly without the armor yet, or do you need to get heat vision first?" He shrugs. "I just grow wings. Pain in the ass to put on armor, though. I was thinking of just going shirtless. Or maybe getting the tailor for that human with the white catsuit."

Jane narrows her eyes. Still standing on one toe, she folds her arms and glares at the turian. If he noticed, he doesn't show it. "What're you doing here?"

"Catching up," Garrus responds with a shrug, "Thought I'd come with you. I'm going to have to go back to Omega at some point, but I figure whatever you're doing right now involves saving the galaxy, and you'd need a shapeshifting horrible creature with a sniper rifle."

She hops off the table. "Probably, yeah," she says, walking over to the couch and slumping down. Tapping the bottom with her foot, it folds out into a minifridge and she pulls out a small bottle. "So, anything new? On Morinth?"

"Gone." Garrus shrugs. "No idea where she went, but we'll find her. I can find anything." He leans back. "I really can. I can look at a place and figure out things which no one else can. It's like my detective skills are super-turian, now."

She snorts, sipping her beer. "Prove it."

"Joker had sex in here."

And Jane chokes on her beer.

 

[GreggHL]

The elevator doors open, and Kaidan walks into the shuttle bay. Well, shuttle bay floor. One of the first modifications that the drydock engineers did was moving the armory. Originally located on the same floor as the Combat Deck, it was deemed a risk and all the ordinance was moved down to someplace it could be safely vented. Just in case.

He finds one of the two officers assigned to the armory bent over one of the benches, several disassembled rifles in front of him. Working quickly, efficiently, the rifles are checked, reassembled, and stowed. And then he notices Kaidan, stands up, and salutes.

"Commander Alenko, sir," Jacob says, heels clicked and salute perfect, "Lieutenant Jacob Taylor, reporting for duty, sir."

Kaidan returns the salute. Just as crisp, just as fast. "At ease, Lieutenant." He relaxes, just as Jacob does. "Welcome onto the Normandy." Kaidan glances at the bench, then back at Jacob. "You're...familiar with the ship?"

"Was on it during its maiden voyage, sir." Jacob smirks. "Glad the Alliance fixed this up. Wasn't exactly comfortable with all the big guns a hundred feet down from the cockpit."

Kaidan cocks an eyebrow. "Civilian design team?"

"Cerberus. Good at a lot of things." A shrug. "Ship layout isn't one of them."

Kaidan nods. "What happened, exactly?" He walks the shuttle bay. Jacob walks with him. "I keep hearing chatter about the entire organization disappearing. Back on the old Normandy, we kept finding Cerberus bases, but now the entire group's gone."

"Best I can tell? One of their science experiments killed all the scientists and took over Cerberus." Jacob shrugs again. "In all honesty, I never really worked with them, just with one of their specialists. Smart lady, but not a lot of common sense."

Kaidan smirks. "Sweet on her?"

Jacob rubs the back of his head. "Perils of the job, sir. I seem to be collecting them, and they all fall into the same category."

"That being?" The XO cracks a smile.

"Women who can make sure they never find the body."

Kaidan snickers, jamming his thumb to the elevator. "Bar. As the XO, first drink's on me. We can compare stories."

The elevator doors open. A duffle bag exits first, slamming to the ground and rolling to a stop. A grunt, and the giant who was carrying it-one handed- exits as well. "If I can just ask, how the hell did they fit the third floor onto this ship?"

At first, Kaidan wonders if they already picked the Krogan crew member, because he certainly matches the required size. Tall, meaty, broad, he seems ill at ease in the inform blues. The sleeves are rolled up to the elbows to show off toned forearms. His collar is unbuttoned, to reveal plentiful tattoos. And the face is young. Inexperienced.

And it also goes completely pale when their eyes meet, before the kid clicks his heels together and salutes. "Commander Alenko, sir! Lieutenant Vega, reporting for duty as second Arms Master, sir!"

A crackle of lightning, and Autochthon appears next to the lieutenant. Bobbing up and down, the plates around the eye spin. "Yes. YES. Short range teleportation via installed one-way mass relay is a SUCCESS. Now, I must figure out how to use this as a gun!"

"Why a gun?" Vega asks.

The eye turns to him. "It seems to be what everyone is asking for these days. Always needing more gun." The iris narrows. "When did you get here?"

"Jus' now." Vega rubs the back of his neck. "James Vega. Nice ta meet ya."

"Yes." A flash of lightning and the blue tint of the mass effect, and Autochthon disappears. Jacob rubs the bridge of his nose. Kaidan purses his lips.

"So," James says, "What was that?"

 

[GreggHL]

The light clears. Stepping back, blinking, she looks down at her remade hands, her healed fingers. And the ebon band surrounding her left ring finger. Grinning, her eyes go black. The air around her warps, both with her newly boosted biotics and the darkness which dances at her thoughts. The room around her shifts; anything not nailed down or bolted rises and orbits about her.

And releasing control. Mister Sunshine works his jaw, landing on his feet. "And just in time," he muses, "Any longer, and I'm pretty sure we'd need a sponge."

He stands up straight, dusting off his coat. Morinth turns, holding up a glowing fist and narrowing her eyes. "Where are they?"

Sunshine smiles. "My dear, did you think that you were going to be given this power without conditions?" He sits down, tenting his hands. "Wherever you think you're going, you've already left."

The walls of the hotel peel down, folding off. The floors shake and collapse, and Morinth screams as she falls through the air, through the empty sky and towards the silver sands far below. At least, until the stars disappear from the sky and she finds herself standing on a floating platform of pure shadow.

It rises, fast. The shadows around her take definition. Shape. Texture, like great plates.

Or scales.

Ah. My blushing bride. The platform levels with a long shape made of darkness, floating beneath the stares and above the moon colored sands. The shadows part, to reveal an eye. They part again, to reveal great white and yellow teeth. Each tooth, she notes, is many times her size. The eye she could fit a ship inside. I have been waiting so long to meet you, Mirala. My Maiden of Ecstacy.

She takes a step back. The shadow spreads beneath her to keep her from falling. "Goddess," she chokes.

No, Mirala. Think bigger.

The stars glide above them. She turns, to find escape, release. But the shadows around her move higher, and higher, and she finds her feet stuck to the ground. Which she realizes is the paw of the great beast she is at the mercy of. You have chosen wisely, Mirala. Countless subjects await the first Queen of Hell.

"What are you?" she asks. She realizes her voice is trembling, and doesn't care. The eye pins her with a glance, the many pupils running along the yellow, oozing flesh.

I am your new groom, my Maiden. And you are the first key to a prison I have spent an eternity in.

The platform lowers. Her feet touch silver sands before she stumbles back, almost falling. She looks up to find the great shape receding into the distance- and the entourage singing in jubilation beneath it. Now, my Queen, my Bride. I shall await you in Hell. Walk for five days, and you shall be there.

Blinking, she stands and watches it leave. He left her here. Five days walk, he said? Looking down, she sees the satchel. Opening it, she finds supplies. Drinks, food, clothes. Cocking an eyebrow, she hefts it up and finds it surprisingly light. At very least, she muses, that was considerate-

"Did...did the ground just move?"

Yes. It did. A small chuckle between her ears as she turns. I should mention, as well, I left you here for a reason. My sister is somewhat cross with you for taking the name of one of her favored Devas. I would suggest moving at a swift pace.

The horizon shifts. Morinth sees the wall of flame, and the acid sea marching against it. And taking the advice of her new groom, she turns and begins to run.

 

[GreggHL]

The briefing room table retracts into the floor. Dedicated projectors hum as they come to life, displaying a holographic map of the galaxy. Zooming in, it displays the Exodus Cluster first, then the Utopia system with the five worlds orbiting it. Finally, it zooms in on the second world from the star;

Eden Prime. Time lapse plays. First the world wobbles, and the mass relay appears next to it, releasing the Collector vessel and two Reapers.

"Several days ago," Kaidan explains, "Eden Prime was attacked by the Reapers. This is a conclusive link between them and the Collectors. Shortly afterwards, the entire Utopia system went silent." Hands folded behind him, the XO of the Normandy looks past the hologram and to the assembled crew. "Orders from Admiral Hackett himself. The Normandy's stealth drive can get us past any sensors."

The hologram shifts again, displaying a schematic of the Normandy. The back of the third deck, for some reason, is opaque. "Iri's modifications to the Normandy's Stealth Drive should keep the Collectors from noticing us if they are still in system. Our mission is to get into Utopia, ascertain the situation, and act if necessary."

The hologram fades away and the table rises. Standing tall, shoulders rolled back, Kaidan looks across the assembled group; reading reactions, checking for nervousness or fear. Finding none, he nods. "Let's get to our stations. Normandy needs to be at full combat readiness before we arrive. Commander, Doctor Solus? Everyone else is dismissed."

The others file out, leaving the three remaining. Kaidan clears his throat, turning to Shepard. Managing to look her in the eyes. "Shepard, this is the observer that the Salarian Union has assigned to the Normandy. He's going to be helping us with the Reapers and the Collectors."

Mordin nods, turning to Shepard. "Mordin Solus, STG. Retired. Still have clearance." The salarian folds his hands behind him. "Appreciate taking time for the meeting. Understand has not been very long since you fought Ardat Yakshi. Wish it were here. Would want to study biotic effects."

Jane rubs the back of her neck, shifting from side to side. "Yeah, kind of lost mine." She coughs. "Doctor, how much of the situation are you aware of?" She gestures to her forehead. The disc glows, hovering over her brow. Kaidan blinks but says nothing. "This is-"

"Solar Exalted. Mythical figures in Prothean legends. Possibly connected to repeated exposure to Prothean Beacons." Mordin waves his omnitool in front of her. "Fascinating. May need to run tests. Will be in my lab."

Kaidan shrugs. "Still has clearance." The doors close as Mordin exits, and Jane rubs the bridge of her nose.

"Oh god," she mutters, "There's two of them."

Slowly, Jane turns to Kaidan, the two of them alone. She waits, folding her arms, the glow slowly fading from her forehead.

"You're looking...good." Kaidan coughs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I needed to talk to you about-"

"Liara told me."

"Oh thank god that's an awkward conversation I didn't want to have." Kaidan grins, nodding. "Anyway. We have time if you want to talk." The grin goes a little wider. "It's good to see you again, Shepard. It was a relief to find out that you were alive."

She nods, smirking. "Hope the shiny superhero powers don't put you off."

He shrugs. "You kidding? My commanding officer's Power Girl." Jane tilts her head, blinking. "I've still gotta unpack my stuff in the XO's quarters. I'll be there if you need me."

And with that, Alenko exits. Jane looks down, reaches up, and squeezes. "Need a cape."

 

[GreggHL]

The doors open to Deck 5. Walking out, Shepard scans the armory and shuttle bay, and finds that Jacob isn't there. She had questions for him. Mostly along the lines of 'have you ended Goto's dry spell yet' but with a bit more tact. She's seen what the little pixie thief ninja does when she's angry and doesn't want that on her ship. But, Jacob is not present.

There is, however, a gorilla doing chin ups on a pull up bar by crates. No, wait. That's one of her crew.

Hands folded behind her, she walks towards the crates. She tries to practice walking, swaying slightly. Her foot slips and she almost trips. Rolling her eyes, she walks over to the practicing, overly large crew member.

She clears her throat. He looks over, freezes, and drops into a crouch. Turning to her, he salutes and clicks his heels, eyeing his discarded uniform jacket and shrugging up his shoulders to try to hide the tattoos on his neck.

"Commander Shepard, sir! Lieutenant James Vega reporting, sir!"

She smirks. "At ease, Lieutenant. And it's 'Ma'am.' Or 'Shepard.'"

He nods. "Yes, Ma'am." He relaxes the salute. "Sorry, Lieutenant Taylor's up in CiC if ya needed him. I just finished setting up the armory if you wanted to inspect it," he gestures behind him, "And we're still unloading parts for when we pick up the Normandy's Hammerhead."

"Hammerhead?"

"New combat craft," he says, and shrugs, "Hovercraft. Guided missile launcher." Scratching the back of his head, and rolls his eyes. "Armor like coffee paper, though. Would'a preferred a Mako, but no one's good at usin' the damn the mass effect controls on those and they keep bouncin'em off everything."

Jane cocks an eyebrow. Craning his neck, the lieutenant goes silent as he drums his fingers on his temple. "Right. Saw the vid. Sorry, Ma'am. Shepard. Sir."

Vega coughs. "So, anyway, Ma'am," he says, "Anything I can help you with?"

She smirks, smacking him on the arm. "Not much. We still have a bit before launch, so I'm getting to know the crew." She takes a look, turning from him to the mounted Shuttle and the crates. "So what's your story, Lieutenant?"

He shrugs. "Nothing special. I'm just one've those kids who joined up 'cause his home sucked. Deadbeat dad, not much to do at home. Joined the fleet 'cause I wanted to save the galaxy." He rubs his arm where she smacked him. "Word of an opening on the Normandy showed up, and I jumped for it."

She nods, pacing the cargo bay. "So," she says, spinning on her heel, "What've you been brought up to date on?"

"I know you if you punch me, they'll need a mop." He shrugs, counting off his fingers. "According to what I overheard from T'Soni, you can breathe methane. According t'Chakwas, you can run like a leopard. An' according to Joker, you can crap dark matter."

Jane smirks. "I wouldn't say a leopard. More like a cheetah."

Vega whistles. "Anyway, was lookin' for a sparring partner. Taylor said he'd oblige me, but he's probably tradin' stories with Vakarian by now." He reaches behind the crates. "An' since you can probably punch me across a dreadnought, I was wondering if you'd oblige me with something, Ma'am?"

He pulls out two long bamboo staves, each one as tall as him. Dropping one, he kicks it before it hits the floor and sends it flying into Shepard's outstretched hand. She twirls it in one hand, grinning. "Knowing how my powers work, I'm probably going to be an expert before I leave this floor."

He shrugs, twirling the staff and stretching it across his broad shoulders. "I figure 'teach Commander Shepard how to staff fight' looks good on my N7 application." A grin parts his features. "So, Ma'am. I know you can shoot and I know you can kick ass. But can you dance?"

 

[GreggHL]

There is a burst of motion and blue lightning, and they look up from the unconscious Prothean as Tali appears in a crouch. She stands up, dusts herself off, and pumps her shotgun. "Sorry I was late," she announces, "But that bosh'tet didn't leave detailed notes and I had to work out the mechanics myself!"

Rolling her shoulders, she walks across the field and towards Shepard, half glancing at Javik and James. "Kal and Wuffles went ahead with Kal's new magical bullshit. I had to stay behind and work out the Relay systems from pretty much scratch. Adienna will be here as soon as it finishes recharging."

Shepard blinks and slowly, steadily, raises her hand. "Tali? How did you get here?"

"Autochthon and I figured out a way to create a mass relay without a set end point." The quarian shrugs. "He was test driving it to get back to the Normandy, but he took all the plans with him. I refined it, cut down the power usage, and prototyped it. And sent myself here."

Shepard works her jaw. Vessae stares at her, open mouthed. "Tali," Jane says, "Clarify. You just...sent yourself right here with a mass relay?"

Tali shakes her head, waving to her side with her shotgun. James does not duck, despite the barrel waving by his head. "Nono. No. I made a Relay in my lab on the Rayya, using my...corrections to the blueprints Autochthon apparently wrote on the wall with his own poop. And then sent myself here with it. Like a biotic charge."

Both the Solar and the Alchemical stare at her. "Miss Tali," Vessae says, "You just revolutionized Relay travel."

Tali blinks. Folding up her shotgun, she walks over and fist bumps Shepard.

"Fuck yes, I did! Props."

The air on Shepard's right shoulder distorts, and becomes the diminutive form of the god currently hosted on the admittedly worn armor. "Excellent. So we have just about every known exalt currently in the same immediate area, is that right?"

Shepard shrugs. "No idea where Kasumi is, Pria. And there's me, Garrus, the guy that James knocked unconscious and who else?"

A white butterfly passes by Shepard's face. She turns, blinking, and finds Kal'reegar standing in front of her. Different encounter suit, yes. But that isn't the only difference. "Okay, what the fuck?"

"Excuse the exposition, Shepard," Pria says, blocking Jane's view, "But Reegar here has exalted as the Chosen of Journeys. I assume that Goto is somewhere here. And with Javik and Vakarian, we only need the Eclipse to make the full Circle. Which leads to our current problem."

Jane blinks, and shrugs. "What's the current problem?"

The ground cracks and quakes, sending them off their feet. Spherical fist impacted in the soil and stone, red patterned face focused on Shepard, the intruder glows red from atmospheric entry. Pria's face is drawn. Her eyes focused on the creature. "The problem, Shepard, is that Seeker has been waiting for you."

And the air splits with the sound of the terrible bass horn. The sky splits, and Shepard looks up just as the great metal scorpion appears directly over them.

 

[GreggHL]

There is a burst of motion and blue lightning, and they look up from the unconscious Prothean as Tali appears in a crouch. She stands up, dusts herself off, and pumps her shotgun. "Sorry I was late," she announces, "But that bosh'tet didn't leave detailed notes and I had to work out the mechanics myself!"

Rolling her shoulders, she walks across the field and towards Shepard, half glancing at Javik and James. "Kal and Wuffles went ahead with Kal's new magical bullshit. I had to stay behind and work out the Relay systems from pretty much scratch. Adienna will be here as soon as it finishes recharging."

Shepard blinks and slowly, steadily, raises her hand. "Tali? How did you get here?"

"Autochthon and I figured out a way to create a mass relay without a set end point." The quarian shrugs. "He was test driving it to get back to the Normandy, but he took all the plans with him. I refined it, cut down the power usage, and prototyped it. And sent myself here."

Shepard works her jaw. Vessae stares at her, open mouthed. "Tali," Jane says, "Clarify. You just...sent yourself right here with a mass relay?"

Tali shakes her head, waving to her side with her shotgun. James does not duck, despite the barrel waving by his head. "Nono. No. I made a Relay in my lab on the Rayya, using my...corrections to the blueprints Autochthon apparently wrote on the wall with his own poop. And then sent myself here with it. Like a biotic charge."

Both the Solar and the Alchemical stare at her. "Miss Tali," Vessae says, "You just revolutionized Relay travel."

Tali blinks. Folding up her shotgun, she walks over and fist bumps Shepard.

"Fuck yes, I did! Props."

The air on Shepard's right shoulder distorts, and becomes the diminutive form of the god currently hosted on the admittedly worn armor. "Excellent. So we have just about every known exalt currently in the same immediate area, is that right?"

Shepard shrugs. "No idea where Kasumi is, Pria. And there's me, Garrus, the guy that James knocked unconscious and who else?"

A white butterfly passes by Shepard's face. She turns, blinking, and finds Kal'reegar standing in front of her. Different encounter suit, yes. But that isn't the only difference. "Okay, what the fuck?"

"Excuse the exposition, Shepard," Pria says, blocking Jane's view, "But Reegar here has exalted as the Chosen of Journeys. I assume that Goto is somewhere here. And with Javik and Vakarian, we only need the Eclipse to make the full Circle. Which leads to our current problem."

Jane blinks, and shrugs. "What's the current problem?"

The ground cracks and quakes, sending them off their feet. Spherical fist impacted in the soil and stone, red patterned face focused on Shepard, the intruder glows red from atmospheric entry. Pria's face is drawn. Her eyes focused on the creature. "The problem, Shepard, is that Seeker has been waiting for you."

And the air splits with the sound of the terrible bass horn. The sky splits, and Shepard looks up just as the great metal scorpion appears directly over them. Another roar, and the shapes begin to descend upon them. Several with six arms, some with more. Some trailing whip like tendrils behind them. Some flying upon skeletal wings.

James works his jaw, pulling his rifle from his back. And then a leathery hand grips his shoulder, and he turns to look into Javik's four glowing eyes.

"You amuse me, human," he says, "You will remain unharmed. For now."

"I suplexed your ass," James mutters, "That ain't right."

Javik shrugs, and pushes past him, past Shepard and Tali, past Kal. "Vessae," he says, turning to the golden woman, "To the colony. Alert my generals. Prepare for war."

The prothean cracks his knuckles. With a roar, he throws out his arms, joined by four arms of pure golden sunlight. And kicking up dust behind him, he runs towards the descending horde, bathed in the aura of the sun.

 

[GreggHL]

One balled fist extends into a thin wire and whips out, screaming through the air and deflecting off Shepard's extended hand. Wrapping it around her palm, she pulls and yanks the drone off its feet. A blue of motion and Kal'Reegar appears between them, slamming a fist into its chest and sending it flying sans arm.

A six armed giant lands behind him, swings and hits a flock of white butterflies before a velociraptor tackles him, claws becoming extended blades and lopping off two arms. Gunshots blast out the side of the drone's head, as pairs of bipedal drones leap over the carnage and at Tali.

She turns, cocking her shotgun and extending her free hand. Arcs of electricty zap one, and Shepard vaults over her and sends one flying with an uppercut.

Boot jets flare and she takes off, tacking a descending six armed drone and slamming it into the ground, bouncing off of it and sending a beam into the chest of a whip armed drone. Kal appears behind the wounded drone, gunshot to the back from his side arm blowing a hole before a gunshot to its head drops it.

Wuffles appears in a burst of blue electricity, back to back with Reegar as slender drones with eight arms converge on them. Kal ducks as one swings, Wuffles sending one flying with a punch, a kick between the Geth's legs sweeping a second off its feet as the synthetic sends it into the ground with a downward chop.

Two are crushed under a descending six armed drone, Kaidan slamming into a third in a burst of blue before grabbing his sword and diving into the fray. Kal grabs one, slamming it headfirst into the round, grabbing its feet and using it as a bludgeon, sending one into the mouth of the waiting thresher maw before it becomes a krogan and begins charging into a massed group of drones.

A burst of blue lightning becomes a Geth Colossus, standing upright and firing off concussive blasts at the descending drones. Another group of drones mass, looking up before the ground they are on- and they as well- become a deep crater. And roaring, Javik flies out, up back into the fray.

Right in time to catch a screaming Liara.

"Calm yourself, Asari," he says, "I have you."

She looks down. Then back at the prothean. "If you have me, who has you?"


Shepard lands fist first, taking a drone down, grabbing another as it dives at her and blasting off its head. Unlocking her rifle, she tosses it to Kaidan before extending a hand and firing. The beam deflects off his sword and he turns to blast a line through the advancing drones. Taking off again, she drags the headless drone with her and tosses it into a running six armed brute just before the rampaging rhino impales it on its tusk.

The rhino leaps, becomes a thresher maw, and disappears into the ground before dragging down more drones. A sphere impacts, sprouting six legs and sparking antennae, the same red pattern of Seeker's drones painting over it before turning its weapons on the colossus-mech. And then a shuttle slams into its head and sends it reeling.

James climbs out of the wreckage as more shuttles and fighters dive in, Makos and Grizzly's leading the charge of the Eden Prime militia.