Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted) Thread #2

The Bushranger said:
Yep. We know.
But this would be the son (or daughter) of Autochton.

Abandon Universe!
Not really. He's just a god. A powerful, Incarnae-level god, yes, but his child would still just be a godblooded, or at most a lesser god. Nothing particularly terrifying about that.
 
Daedwartin said:
...we are more afraid of what traits he get from his dad
The ability to Enlighten his Essence and learn spirit Charms? Or possibly the ability to get Spirit Excellencies, and their dice cap of... Essence. When your Essence is capped at 3, and you pay through the nose for it?

Oh, I know! A tendency to do stupid things without being an E10 god with the raw power to survive them!
 
I don't think it's the possible powers of the Spawn of Auto that are terrifying.

It's how he would be raised that is scary.

"Here, MY SON! Have your own WARSTRIDER for your FIFTH BIRTHDAY!"
 
Celtic_Master said:
Everyone's so focused on the squick of Auto having sex with another sentient.

Me, all I can see is the weird-but-adorable reaction of the resident spidercatrobot, who is genuinely happy that her mentor/creator/father figure/what-have-you finally got laid, and genuinely oblivious to any other local reaction to the event.
Something to keep in mind. Part of my outline for Book 2-3 involves Autochthon getting married.

Iri's the ringbearer.
 
The Bushranger said:
I don't think it's the possible powers of the Spawn of Auto that are terrifying.

It's how he would be raised that is scary.

"Here, MY SON! Have your own WARSTRIDER for your FIFTH BIRTHDAY!"
"Best. Dad. Ever."
 
GreggHL said:
Something to keep in mind. Part of my outline for Book 2-3 involves Autochthon getting married.

Iri's the ringbearer.
...

So, I'm guessing Auto didn't get pregnant from having sex with Luna, because I just don't see that leading to marriage.
 
It is worth noting that Auto's brand of crazy might change in the intervening story arcs. (I don't think this is likely, given that he's been unchanging for how long? .. but it could happen.)

As for the scary part, if you want truly epic levels of fear (once you work through the logic) imagine Auto with Agatha Heterodyne.. the girl who found one of her suitors lacking when he wasn't building death rays. (Just in case.) She also managed to weaponize wagons & carriages. As in wooden, horse drawn wagons & carriages.
 
Ixenathier said:
...Do we know the blushing bride yet?

I assume that it is a she, but it could well be a he, it or ARrgl. It could also be groom depending on who metaphorically is the pants wearer of the relationship.

Oddly I think Autochthon in a wedding dress could be interesting...
All spun oricalchum and moonsilver lace and starmetal stitching with cloth of jade for the fabric. Maybe even some lightning embroidery...
Auto got hitched to Her Redness.
 
84
The moonlight filters through the forest as they are lead by the one in front. Kamilla idly pushes Autochthon in front of her as they walk, passing him between her hands like a large, golden basketball. Wuffles walks beside him, the silver owl still perched upon their head. Kal walks, glancing from side to side. Watching. Anticipating.

"Three." Kal cocks an eyebrow as Luna speaks. The voice, as always, is not...feminine. Not masculine. Something not lacking in either feature, but beyond them. "Two." For a moment, he wonders what she or he is counting down to. "One." Kal raises his hand and opens his mouth, but

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH there voice box repaired!" The iris closes, and the ball shoots up to hover in front of Reegar's face. "Sidereal, I am slightly offended that you consider my being mute something to offer praise to." A beat. The iris shifts open. "I will, however, let this slide as Luna!"

He shoots past, past Kamilla and hovering in front of the silver haired guide. "I will admit I am pleasantly surprised that I am not in immediate danger. A pleasant surprise indeed!"

White teeth shine, and milky white eyes glimmer with promised mischief. "Oh, Maker. You are always in immediate danger around me." A hand taps the top of the sphere. "However, I have been following your journey with interest. Times change, and we change along with them." A light hum, and the forest shifts around them. It becomes lighter, the trees folding outwards.

The clearing folds out into a neat, near-perfect circle illuminated by moonlight and silver candelabras. A table of fine crystal rises from the ground, overstuffed chairs and plush pillows appears in a circle around it. Luna turns in mid step, and in the space of a breath takes the form of a naked, male quarian with silver tattoos covering his-her-its skin.

Reegar, quite sensibly, gags. "I. What?" He takes his eyes off the rather handsome naked silver quarian and asks "Wait what just happened?"

"Look around." He turns, locking eyes with Luraname. Then does so. Then looks around. "Weren't we in a forest?" He turns, spinning as he twists around. He can see something like a forest. In the distance, perhaps, but not exactly.

"You are new." Luna smiles, the silver-lined asari walking to a chair. "We're in a terrestrial court I've borrowed. I don't think we will be disturbed, and I wanted someplace private." She glances to the owl, and it rises before flying off into the distance.

Sliding into the chair, folding several legs and wrapping a tendril around a cup of still hot tea, the silver veined hanar gestures to the other seats. "So. You had my attention, and now you have my interest. Great Maker, what brings you back to Creation after so many millenia?"

The ball floats over. The bottom opens and unfolds a pair of legs and a skeletal ass, easing it down into a chair as a thin arm with a straw on the end dips into the tea. "Ah, yes. Good tea. We're here for a very important reason, Luna. I've detected a flaw in the Exaltations."

The others take their seats. White cloth napkin over his arm, Luraname sets tea in front of Kal and Wuffles, and a cup of colorful juice in front of Kamilla. "A flaw." Luna works her jaw. The silver shelled krogan huffs. "I see. Well, that does explain some of it. And you believe you can fix it?"

"Not by myself. Not as I am now." Autochthon coughs. The owl swoops by, landing on the table and picking up a biscuit in its beak before flying back towards the woods. "I need my tools, Luna. I need the aid of the other Incarnae."

Luna nods. The human male with the stone-like face and buzz cut white hair smirks. "The latter I can guarantee will be tricky. The former even moreso...but that does explain more. You believe your tools would be able to...affect this flaw? Access it?"

Milk white eyes glance to the side. Kal has held his tea in the same position for the past several minutes. "You have a question," the huntress purrs, "And the answer is the same. I'm Luna."

Tapping three index fingers together, the white haired woman nods to the golden sphere. "So, you need to get to Heaven. You need your ancient tools. You need the attention of myself and the other Incarnae." A smile tugs at her lips. "Simple enough. For varied quantities of simple."

"We note you said this explained two things." Petals extend as they sip their tea. Wuffles folds their hands in front of their head, propping their elbows on the armrests of the chair. "We understand the erratic behavior of the Exalted is one thing that is clarified. What is the other?"

Luna smiles, nodding to Luraname. The luck god clears his throat, walking next to his taskmaster. "The god of secrets known to one person has been rather nonplussed, lately." The grin gets just a little wider. "As if some great, world-shaking secret has been found out by someone else, lessening his purview."

"Which means someone else knew about the flaw." Autochthon's iris narrows. "Oh." It shifts, and the legs fold back up into the ball, quickly draining the tea before the arm folds back in. "Then we need to get to Yu Shan immediately! We must speak to the Ignis Divine at once!"

Luna holds up a hand. Luraname circles around the table, placing a fresh glass of juice in front of Kamilla as she giggles a thanks. "That would not be wise," Luna states, shaking his head, "Politics are tricky. Changing, ever so. You must first prepare your case and gather your allies. And, make sure that your tools remain in the hands of someone who does not want to see you dead."

Leaning back in the chair, the smile gets just a bit wider, showing more and more teeth. "I will prepare on my end. Luraname will give you a map to the nearest Gate. Because if you want the tools, you need the one other person in all of Creation and Yu Shan who has seen the flaw. And kept it secret for oh so very long."

The iris shifts. Great gears of thoughts turn. And Autochthon suddenly finds that his quest has become much, much more complicated. "I need Lytek."
 
Poor Lytek..

..nah, he had it coming for a long time.
 
...
And by the fact that Luna is lUna sicking Auto on him is just a start... I doubt she is amused by him keeping secret. By situation - yes, but not by Lytek himself.
 
Hmm. As I recall, Lytek's had a pretty impressive guard detail ever since the Usurpation when the Sidereals may or may not have tried to gank him.

Getting through a bunch of angry Celestial Lions ain't gonna be fun.
 
Aleph said:
Hmm. As I recall, Lytek's had a pretty impressive guard detail ever since the Usurpation when the Sidereals may or may not have tried to gank him.

Getting through a bunch of angry Celestial Lions ain't gonna be fun.
I think an Incarna level being like Auto could manage getting through..I..think..hmm..confusing..I just had the look on their stats on the wiki. What Essence level are they? Are they Incarna..I am confused because the wiki says they are "Celestial"? How powerful are they actually.
 
Durabys said:
I think an Incarna level being like Auto could manage getting through..I..think..hmm..confusing..I just had the look on their stats on the wiki. What Essence level are they? Are they Incarna..I am confused because the wiki says they are "Celestial"? How powerful are they actually.
That implies that Autochthon is in any way combat focused. While celestial lions are.
 
Durabys said:
You forget that Autochthon is "SURPRISE! ASSHOLES!" focused. :p
Here's a thing:

Jane can kick Autochthon's ass, as he is, if he's not using some massive warstrider body and the like.

No, let me rephrase that.

Kal can beat Autogod around the head and neck until he offers Kal his lunch money. Autochthon- as in, the animated Eye that is Autogod- is shit in combat. And it's not just the Celestial Lions he's dealing with.

Going for the front door of Lytek's office, demanding to be let in, puts him in ambush distance of Chejop Kejak.
 
GreggHL said:
Here's a thing:

Jane can kick Autochthon's ass, as he is, if he's not using some massive warstrider body and the like.

No, let me rephrase that.

Kal can beat Autogod around the head and neck until he offers Kal his lunch money. Autochthon- as in, the animated Eye that is Autogod- is shit in combat. And it's not just the Celestial Lions he's dealing with.

Going for the front door of Lytek's office, demanding to be let in, puts him in ambush distance of Chejop Kejak.
Which is the reason I said "SUPRISE! ASSHOLES!" not "SURPRISE! PUNCH! PUNCH! MOTHERFUCKERS!"..if Auto cannot fight his way through..he just makes something shiny, glowy and powerful that is without an off-switch and fights..for him..at least most of the time..which is arguably worse. :rolleyes::p
 
Durabys said:
Which is the reason I said "SUPRISE! ASSHOLES!" not "SURPRISE! PUNCH! PUNCH! MOTHERFUCKERS!"..if Auto cannot fight his way through..he just makes something shiny, glowy and powerful that is without an off-switch and fights..for him..at least most of the time..which is arguably worse. :rolleyes::p
And then he is in stabbing range of the Entire Bronze Faction. This is why he can't actually get to Lytek by his normal, completely unsubtle means.
 
GreggHL said:
And then he is in stabbing range of the Entire Bronze Faction. This is why he can't actually get to Lytek by his normal, completely unsubtle means.
I agree with you..

..but tell me..

..is Autogod going to care even a yota?
 
GreggHL said:
And then he is in stabbing range of the Entire Bronze Faction. This is why he can't actually get to Lytek by his normal, completely unsubtle means.
Forget the Bronze Faction.

He's also in range of every single god who has a grudge against him (which is quite a few of the older ones, because he was a Primordial and that means he was also one of the jerks making their lives hell for aeons), or who does't want some new god trying to change things. Which they may well know about if he has kicked down a door and shouted, "YOU LOT ARE HOPELESSLY CORRUPT! THINGS WERE BETTER ORGANISED WHEN WE WERE IN CHARGE, LET ME TELL YOU THAT! HONESTLY, IT MAKES ME ALMOST THINK MISS PRISSY HAS A THING FOR DADDY GLOWING BALLS HAS A POINT ABOUT YOU LOT! THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE!".
 
GreggHL said:
Yes. Because he's already died once in the story, and has no interest in doing it again.
In total..did he die once or twice?

Fine. I just noticed that in all the chapters up until now he was his normal assine self with giving zero fucks.
Shyft said:
I think the point is that the joke has fallen flat, and that there are at least 3 moderating influences on Autochthon's normal modus operandi. Not counting Luna or Lunam-arwhatever luck person's name was.
True.
 
DaWrecka, it is worth pointing out that if he helped engineer the overthrow of the other Primordials he could do "fun and interesting things" to the gods. He also has the tact that the divine gave a flung brick and has hideous people skills. I like Auto a a character, but his personality is hard to be around in-story. It might just be possible that people react to Auto being around as "Oh, crap. Everyone get him!" so they can arrest him to keep him from breaking anything important. Like cities, mountain ranges, or Yu-Shan.
 
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