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Girls und Panzer - For Glory, Praise and Honor

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How Little We Know
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Notojima – Restaurant – Afternoon

    It was a surprise. He had to admit.

    Seeing Maho right in front of him, with her piercing gaze and hands on her sides unnerved him. It was a soldier reporting to her superior officer.

    "Didn't expect you to be here. Tell me, is your mother with you?"

    Maho took a seat, opposite of him. "No, she is not. She does not even know that I'm here."

    "Fine. Do you want to order something? I'll buy for you."

    Maho closed her eyes. "Your offer is appreciated, but unnecessary. I'm here on a personal matter, as you very much know."

    He sighed. "Indeed, I do. Well, let's get down to it." Although Rirko was willing to work, he was a bit miffed that he had to skip his relaxing lunch.

    Maho appeared tensed, with her hands folded and her eyes locked unto Rirko.

    Starting the conversation, Rirko listed his grievances. "First of all, you called Miho after our conversation. The two of you ended up pissed at one another."

    "That is true," Maho admitted. "I wanted to hear from Miho's mouth about what was going on."

    "Did you know people tend to clam up more when confronted with something?" She had not considered it. She was so focused on resolving the issue quickly. "You wanted to check up on her, that's fine. But give her space. Going in with guns blazing makes the situation worse. You weren't exactly calm when we ended our conversation."

    "What do my interactions with my sister have to do with anything?"

    Rirko just stared. But then he remembered that Maho might have been just as socially inept like Miho. "If you are upset, then she is upset. If she is upset, she won't be in the mood to share. If she's not in the mood to share, then she'll shut down, and it'll be quite some time before she's back in a proper frame of mind. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

    It was a slippery slope. Maho crossed her arms. Displeased of Rirko's criticism to her about how she handled the situation, but couldn't disagree. "Fine, point taken."

    "Good. So, don't freak out, so she doesn't freak out. Also, were you able to have her share information with you."

    Being reminded of that night's conversation, Maho looked down and sighed.

    "I guess not. Lucky for you, she signed an 'Information to Disclosure' form."

    Maho gave a sigh of relief. At last, she would be able to get to the bottom of the problem. "Tell me."

    "Whoa! I think a bit of quid pro quo is needed here."

    She flared up. "Quid pro quo? You can't be serious?!"

    "I am. Why should I share everything that I know if I'm not getting anything in return?"

    Maho was shocked only for a moment. She shook her head. "I knew it. You're nothing, but an opportunistic individual worried about his own gain. Fine, what do you want? Money? Power?"

    "What the hell?" Maho was surprised by Rirko's interjection. "What is this?"

    "I-I thought you wanted something in return."

    "No! Not physical, I…" He was exasperated. Maho did live in a matriarch society where men were looked down upon. 'Breathe. High school. High school.' "No, Maho. I want information. Since I'm giving up information, I'd like some information from you."

    Her face came from genuine surprise to embarrassment. "I'm sorry…I jumped into conclusions. Tell me, what do you want to know?"

    Avoiding the meltdown, Rirko named his price. "I heard from Ami and Miho. Now, I want to hear from you. Tell me about yourself. Your mother. And how it is like living as a Nishizumi."

    Rirko's borscht came. "Thank you." It was disgusting.
    Notojima Harbour – Pier – Afternoon

    A swarm of helicopters landed in an open field near the pier. As Nonna said, the Sensha-do captains, with their auxiliaries arrived there. The following were in attendance:

    Glorianna - Darjeeling, Orange Pekoe, Assam

    Saunders - Kay, Naomi, and Alisa

    Anzio - Anchovy, Carpaccio, and Pepperoni

    Chiatan - Nishi, Fukuda, Tamada

    Continuation sent their regard as they had no interest in the dinner. The copters all arrived roughly at the same time. Pleasantries were exchanged.

    "Darjeeling!" Kay waved as Naomi and Alisa watched on. She gave a big hug to the Glorianna commander.

    "H-Hello Kay. It's good to see you. D-do you mind letting me go? You're crushing me."

    "Oh!" As Kay immediately let go, Naomi and Alisa couldn't help but shake their heads. But then again, they were used to her overfriendly behaviour. Anzio and Chiatan soon joined them.

    "Greetings from the land of spirit and pasta!" Anchovy yelled. "Anzio's team send their regards as well!"

    "Captains Darjeeling, Kay and Duce Anchovy, I apologize for the delay." As usual, Nishi was always quick to apologize for even the smallest detail.

    "Apologize? You arrived here around the same time?" Kay was genuinely confused.

    Fukuda was quick to say something. "Pay it no mind. Commander Nishi is humble is all."

    "Fukuda!"

    "Always humble," added Tamada.

    "Tamada!"

    The rest of the girls chuckled a little. "Where's Captain Mika?" inquired Pekoe.

    Darjeeling explained her absence. "She sends her regrets. So, did Kuromorimine."

    "That's disappointing," Pepperoni crossed her arms. "I'm sure Miho will be bummed out."

    "Duce? Will we be seeing Oarai tomorrow?" asked Carpaccio.

    Anchovy gave it a thought. "Maybe. If time allows."

    This made Carpaccio smile. "Taka."

    "Does that mean Miho is going to be there?" inquired Alisa. This was followed by a deadpan Naomi.

    "If Pravda and Oarai are fighting tomorrow, then you can expect her to be there."

    "I-I knew that!" Alisa was flustered. "Shut up!"

    Darjeeling interrupted the quarrel to move along. "Shall we head towards the venue then?" As the group headed towards the town, Darjeeling thought about Miho.

    'I hope you're alright Miho. And I hope you'll be there.'
    Notojima – Restaurant – Afternoon

    It had been an hour and a half since Maho joined Rirko. She told many things about the ins and outs of the Nishizumi.

    Being the heir to the Nishizumi legacy, Maho had to be portrayed as the perfect person. She confirmed that at one point, Shiho enlisted the help of a military official who was a close friend of the family. He referred her to a former army sergeant who was stationed before from a US base positioned somewhere in Japan. With the instructor in place, he stayed for an entire month, while instilling the highest of expectations. Shiho wanted her daughters to be the best. So, she got the best. She was assured of that.

    A month later, however, he was gone. Neither daughter knew the reason why. However, the job was done. In addition to helping the Nishizumi daughters, he also trained the officers in Kuromorimine on how to behave like an instructor. The officers took over the rest of training.

    Rirko could only shake his head. While the elimination of combat stress was a huge boon, Rirko still felt it was an unfair trade-off.

    When Maho and Miho became the battle commanders for Kuromorimine Sensha-do team, Shiho was full of pride and sadness. While they would have to carry the burden of the legendary Nishizumi family, they would be part of a new generation of practitioners that would establish themselves as the authority of Sensha-do.

    The two won many battles, and Kuromorimine was regarded as the best school in Sensha-do. However, after that match, Shiho's actions started to take a sterner turn. She was more focused into moulding Maho into the perfect heir. She had her accompany her to Federation meetings and restricted everything that wasn't Sensha-do. On the outside, Maho appeared calm and collected. But deep within, she was furious.

    Furious at the fact that she had to play obedient daughter to an overbearing woman like Shiho while her sister was free to do whatever she wished. Also, furious that her sister single-handedly ruined all her sacrifices in one fell swoop.

    Her overall goal was to free Miho from the shackles of responsibilities that had held her back for, so long. Shiho would focus her energies on an already halfway heir, thereby removing Miho from any responsibility. Rirko was right. She would be free.

    At the end of the story, Rirko couldn't even wrap his head around the amount of crap she had to endure. Maho had to struggle and suffer for the good of the Nishizumi clan. Maho noted the silence. "Well? What is on your mind? You haven't said anything."

    Taking a moment, he was able to spit out the words. "My dear, you are one BAMF."

    "BAMF?"

    "Badass motherf***er."

    Maho was puzzled. "Is that good?"

    Rirko sighed. He forgot. Socially inept. Hearing her story, he wondered a couple of things.

    "Do you personally agree with the doctrine?"

    Maho had to give some thought to the question. "Moving forward, never retreating. To never give up, even in the face of adversity. However."

    "However?"

    "To obtain victory, no matter what the sacrifice, that is part of the doctrine I do not accept."

    Rirko was surprised. Being a Nishizumi heir, you would think that Maho would have accepted all aspects of the style. What she was saying was common sense. She wasn't a fanatic, just a normal high-schooler.

    "I'm actually glad Miho was able to create her own way." Maho continued while smiling faintly. "It shows that all things change, no matter how old they might be or how respected. Nothing last forever."

    Nodding, Rirko couldn't help but agree. "Hmm…why must people cling to their outdated ideals so stubbornly?"

    "Possibly…it may be the only thing people have left." That made sense. If their ideas are what they have left, and it went away, they would have nothing.

    "Something to be considered. But was Miho ever opposed to the family? Or the doctrine?"

    He could see in the back of Maho's eyes, a glimmer of contemplation. "It was the doctrine, pure and simple. I have no doubt that she loved us both. She just didn't agree with mother's…with the doctrine's point of view."

    "That victory must be achieved, no matter what the cost?"

    "… …exactly." The sadness in Maho's voice, if any indication, expressed regret in the entire situation.

    Ending her story, Maho crossed her arms. "Now that I held my end of the bargain, I want you to do the same." It was time for her to know what was happening.

    "Very well." Rirko shifted himself a little. "But I want to make sure that if you're planning to confront Miho with what I'm about to tell you, let me know now. In other words, your intent." He knew that sooner or later, down the road, Maho would use the information discussed in some of Miho's discussions. A calculated risk, but necessary to honour his side of the deal.

    She sighed. "It depends on what you say."

    He would have to accept that broad response. "Let's first address the catalyst. The match between Pravda and Kuromorimine."

    Maho heart raced at the mention of that match. "What about it?"

    Rirko sipped on some water. "She believes that you betrayed her when your mother grilled her for her perform- "

    At once, Maho slammed on the table with both hands. She had the fiercest look as if she wanted to go in on him and slam him against a wall.

    "I WOULD NEVER, EVER BETRAY MY SISTER!"

    Rirko stared at her. Her outburst didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the patrons. He slowly put his cup down. "That has been made abundantly clear to me. Please, sit down."

    Embarrassed by her own reaction, she slowly sat down and hid her face under her beret, shaking her head slowly. "How could she think that? After all that I've done for her." In hindsight, the questioning of her trust may have been a precursor to this revelation.

    Rirko felt sorry for her. He saw Maho emotionally upset with this news. "Try to see it in her point of view. She was being grilled for saving lives. No praise, only criticism. You didn't condemn, nor endorsed. You did nothing."

    Rirko remained silent. He wanted to know how Maho would process this information. The patrons of the restaurant resumed their meals, putting to the back of their mind about what happened before. The Pravda girls continued to work, not going over to the stall where Rirko and Maho was.

    "I…If I would have said anything…mother would have found out my true intent. I couldn't risk it."

    "How?"

    "She's…a perceptive individual. She knows something is amiss the moment I start to act strangely. So, to say something rather than silently agreeing with her, she would have sensed something was wrong."

    It was a convenient statement, but there was something more. Saying something wouldn't have affected her standing as Shiho's heir. The true intent excuse was just something to throw him off, perhaps? Then he remembered that children would avoid saying anything when they were in trouble. Could it be…

    Rirko started to stare into Maho. Her eyes were shifting, and she was twiddling her hands slowly. She was also breathing a bit heavy. After a minute of this, she couldn't take it anymore.

    "Aren't you going to say something?! You're just looking at me! If you have something to say, say it then."

    "…you were scared."

    "…"

    "You feared what she might have done to you if you said something. Or am I wrong? Tell me that I'm wrong, and I'll apologize right now."

    She closed her eyes and shook her head.

    "There's no shame in feeling fear. It is one of the raw emotions that we have. We both know that saying something would have gotten you in trouble with your mother and saying nothing would have gotten your sister to hate you. You had little choice."

    Maho was over this. "What else is there?"

    "She's suffering from both anxiety and depression-like symptoms. She has a psychiatrist working with her using various medications. I'm working on the psycho piece."

    "What kind of symptoms?"

    "Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, feeling of dread. There's more."

    Miho was on meds? The list of medications sounded horrible as Maho swallowed a big lump in her throat. Rirko was about to talk more, but she stopped him.

    "Please. Give me a minute." Hearing that your sister suffered in such a way was hard. Rirko realized that he was insensitive. Here, he was talking about Miho, another student. But to Maho, it was her sister, the one she loved dearly.

    "… … I'm sorry."

    Re-establishing her bearing, Maho asked. "How serious is the problem?"

    "It has begun to affect her physically. However, she's receiving support from the Oarai hospital, school, and team. Her friends are playing a key role in her recovery."

    "Miho always speaks highly about her friends. I'm glad she's in safe hands." Maho could relax a little. At least, she had help. "Do you know what is the cause of all this?"

    Rirko sighed. He had to be broad as possible but had to insist that it may have been her experiences that may have led to this point. "Unresolved past trauma."

    "Unresolved past trauma?"

    "The two of you didn't have an a…a…normal lifestyle. The years of oppression may have something to do with her physical symptoms. I can't be sure."

    Miho was still scared about what happened to her. Maho had always known she had harboured such feelings, but not this intense.

    "You will have to answer for your part in the Kuromorimine/Pravda conspiracy."

    Nodding, she understood. It was like Rirko said. She neither endorsed nor condemned. But her silence may have been her condemnation all this time.

    She was guilty, pure and simple. Her inaction may have caused her downward spiral into where her mental state was now. Ashamed of what she might have done to her sister without even knowing it, she looked down.

    Rirko knew that Maho was probably feeling crappy right about now. "However, what you've been doing these few last years. Acting as a silent advocate for your sister and helping any way you can? That takes a lot of guts." She looked up at him.

    "Sure, she might be upset about this now. But she doesn't know the reason why. I don't know when you are going to tell her. A month, a year, two years from now? But when you do, she'll appreciate you more. Just as you love her, she loves and respects you. That sister you had way back when… she's still there. She's just buried among the piles of crap she's dealing with right now. Don't be discouraged by this. Use this to strengthen your resolve. Just as betrayals may have their consequences, so does loyalty have their rewards. A little hope goes a long way."

    For the first time, her hidden efforts in helping Miho was being acknowledged by someone. As he spoke, Maho welled up with tears in her eyes. She had her doubts about Rirko, about his sincerity. But here was a man who could sympathize, who could see past the mask and into a person's heartache. For someone to tell her this…felt good.

    Maho felt unworthy of such kindness. "Your… words… They…They are wasted on me."

    "No…I don't think so. Do your best and move forward. Isn't that the Nishizumi way?"

    Weeping silent tears, she stood still for a few moments. Afterwards, she grabbed a napkin and her pen. She wrote somewhat shakily, tears dripping on the table. After writing, she gave it to Rirko. It was her cell and e-mail.

    "Whatever you need. Let me know. Please. I love her so much."

    "… I know."

    Standing up, she gave a slight bow and briskly headed out the door. Rirko spent a few minutes looking at his already cold borscht.

    He called the waitress over. "Uh, cheque please."
    Notojima – Hotel – Evening

    Having a tiring day and expecting to crash on his bed, Rirko returned to the hotel where the Oarai students were staying. Just as he was entering the hotel, Miho and Yukari were exiting, in their neatly pressed uniform with blue jackets (with the Anglerfish logo on).

    "Whoa, girls?" Rirko was surprised. He'd thought that they would have had enough time to sightsee, especially with the match coming tomorrow.

    Miho blushed. "Mr. Nagasawa! Um…it's…"

    Yukari stepped up. "We're going to a get together with the rest of the Sensha-do captains. It'll be at the Notojima Golf and Country Club. The dinner starts at 5:30 pm."

    "Okay?" Rirko looked interested and sceptical about the excuse, however, in his mind, he couldn't care less. He was just on an emotional roller-coaster and wanted to rest. "Does Student Council know about this? You're going to be back before curfew?"

    "We got permission from the Student Council," Miho pepped. "And everyone has our contact information."

    "Alright then. Girls, enjoy yourselves. And be safe out there. You do have a match tomorrow." The girls and Rirko exchanged bows, as he headed into the hotel, a jeep pulled up with a Pravda student.

    "Dobriy vyecher! You are Miho Nishizumi and Yukari Akiyama, yes? The mighty Katyusha sent me here to escort you to the venue."

    Yukari had an inquisitive look. "The 'mighty' Katyusha?"

    Miho giggled. "Just roll with it." The girls got in and sped away to the country club.

    "No fair! I wanted to go with Miporin!" Saori was pouting in her hotel room, with the rest of the Anglerfish team.

    "It was only for Commanders and Vice-Commanders, right? It can't be helped." Hana tried to make sense of it, but she felt the same way as Saori.

    Mako was falling asleep. "Don't we have a match tomorrow? And they'll probably party it up until the morning."

    "Miporin said that they'd head out early, so to prepare for the match. She's not a liar. Not when it comes to Sensha-do." The girls wondered if Miho was going to be okay for the evening. The past days were ups and downs. But they supported each other, and that's what counts.

    The rest of the Sensha-do team took advantage of the hotel's amenities. However, each team was mentally preparing themselves for tomorrow's match. They would beat Pravda, practice or not.
    Nanao - Matsuno Midori – Evening

    Maho took a car escort back to Nanao. Both Shiho and Maho were staying in Matsuno Midori on the evening of the match. When Maho arrived back at the hotel, Shiho was in her room waiting. She had an inquisitive look. Maho prepared for the interrogation.

    "Maho." Her arms were on her hips

    "Yes, mother."

    "Where were you this afternoon?"

    "Speaking with Katyusha and Nonna about tomorrow's match."

    "For what reason?"

    "Reconnaissance. Although I did say I wanted to see them fight in their match, I wanted to see if they changed anything in their tactics. They did not."

    "Why concern yourself with Pravda. Kuromorimine isn't slated to fight them until the tournament."

    "Preparing for the future, mother."

    Shiho contemplated on her responses. Maho's heart was racing. She couldn't have her find out what she had been really doing in Notojima.

    "Fine then." Maho nodded and headed into her room all the while Shiho looked on. Once she closed the door, she knew something was wrong. Maho is unusually more reserved this evening. And her doing reconnaissance on her own? Since when does she concern herself with these things? Something is going on.
    With the door closed, Maho stood in the middle of the room. She tried to suppress her rage by clenching her fists. She was shaking and breathing to calm herself down. All the suffering, all the strife was all for a reason. She truly wanted to believe that reason was worth everything.

    "Miho."
    A/N: Your support is always appreciated, it really helps me a ton.
     
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    • Still In The Dark
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: A military story written in a Reddit post inspired the story here (Basic Training Stories). One part, though. Further, things get real. Again. Sorry.
    Near Notojima - Notojima Golf and Country Club – Evening

    The driver, with Miho and Yukari in tow, made their way to the country club. Usually, the country club was open to members. However, Pravda persuaded the organisation to use one of its rooms as a dinner venue with a generous donation.

    The green hills and trees were hidden under the setting sun. As the driver drove towards the entrance, the building itself looked impressive. The building at a theme of practicality, as well as intimidating for those who wished for entry into its doors. For the Sensha-do captains, it would be theirs for one night.

    Katyusha and Nonna were already waiting outside when Miho and Yukari arrived. When she saw the jeep, Katyusha waved so much that Nonna thought she was about to fall off!

    "Katyusha, please! Don't move so much!"

    "But I see Mihoska! And other girl!"

    "Her name is Yukari."

    Katyusha made a raspberry. "Whatever! Mihoska is the one I'm interested in!"

    Nonna knew not to argue with her commander. She dropped the discussion right away. After thanking the driver, Miho and Yukari made their way to the waiting pair.

    "Glad you could make it, Mihoska!" Katyusha was sporting her usual Pravda uniform, the same with Nonna.

    Miho gave a bow. "Thank you for having us, Katyusha. Glad we could make it!"

    "Come in, come in, everyone else is waiting!"

    "Everyone…is sister here? Is anyone missing?"

    "Continuance and Kuromorimine send their regards," Nonna explained.

    Miho's heart sank. "Oh…I see."

    "Miss Nishizumi." Yukari was concerned by Miho's lack of enthusiasm. "I can see your upset about not seeing your sister."

    Miho nodded. "At least you're here."

    At the sound of those words, Yukari went red-faced! "M-Miss Nishizumi! How kind!"

    "Uh, I don't want to interrupt the lovey-dovey action going on, but we got a dinner to get to?" Miho and Yukari saw Katyusha playing with Nonna's hair.

    "Can you not play with me when you are bored." Everyone headed inside; it was getting cold.

    Inside the venue, everyone rushed to see Miho and Yukari the moment they walked in. Kay was the first to give Miho a huge hug that lasted five seconds. After releasing her (Alisa and Naomi had to pry her off), Miho greeted Nishi and Anchovy warmly.

    "Commander Nishizumi! I'm glad we can see each other again." As always, Nishi always held a respectable tone.

    "Likewise, Nishi."

    "Miho! It's been too long!" Anchovy shook her hand and cheek-kissed her twice. Miho looked uncomfortable but said nothing to be nice.

    Yukari, sensing Miho's anxiety, asked Pepperoni. "Why does Anchovy do that?"

    "It's an Italian greeting among friends," explained Pepperoni. "one kiss for a stranger, two kisses for a friend and three for a family member."

    "I see." Some places in the world have strange customs. As the greetings continued, Darjeeling, Orange Pekoe and Assam sat at the table, look into the interaction.

    "Miho looks a lot better," noted Pekoe. "Perhaps, it was because of the match last time she felt strange?"

    Darjeeling didn't buy it. "No Pekoe. Although she may look fine, my gut is still saying something is seriously wrong with her. 'Appearances are often deceiving.'"

    "Aesop, right?"

    Assam noted the group headed over. "They're on their way here."

    Miho noted Darjeeling's concerned look for a split second before turning into a smile. 'Is there something wrong with Darjeeling?'

    "Good to see you again, Miho. And Yukari, you look well." She gave a hug to the both of them. Everyone seemed to be here. Suddenly, there was a faint sound of a kantele playing. Everyone turned and was surprised. Only one person they know would have the skill to play kantele in such a beautiful way.

    Sitting near the entrance, Captain Mika of Continuation High School, with Aki and Mikko in tow, stood out like a sore thumb. "Hello everyone," Mika said with a smile. "It seems this party is getting lively." The entire group stared at them.

    "Maybe you should have told them you were coming?" Aki nervously asked her Captain.

    Mika disagreed. "I did say we weren't coming. However, I like to think that we were guided here by the wind." A pluck of her kantele set Katyusha off.

    "You said you weren't coming and now here you are? Would it kill you to make up your mind?!"

    "Then it wouldn't be interesting."

    "Ghh! You're impossible!" Before going any further, Nonna stepped in.

    "We'll just ask the chefs to make more food. So please, calm down."

    Accepting Nonna's solution, Katyusha in stubborn fashion was determined to have the last word. "Fine, whatever! Just don't mess with us when we're planning this thing again otherwise I'll have you thrown out!"

    As the waitresses set up more cutlery for the new guests, the guests began to take their seats.

    "When are we planning to leave?" ask Yukari.

    "As soon as we can. I don't want to upset Katyusha. They also have a match to prepare for, anyway."

    Deciding on a course of action, both headed to the dinner table.
    Notojima – Hotel – Evening

    Still fatigued over the drama show with Maho, Rirko was resting in the hotel lobby. Now wearing some casual wear, he planned on getting a nice cold one from the bar, chill out in a corner and try to dump as much crap he endured so he didn't have a mental breakdown. Dragging himself to the bar, he stood near the bartender.

    "Wow, you look like hell." He sounded genuinely concerned. His eyes studied Rirko from top to bottom.

    No shit I look like hell, asshole. "Get me a Moosehead."

    The bartender stared at him. "Moosehead?"

    Rirko ordered his beer, without realising that he was still in Japan. "Moosehead. Okay, whatever popular beer everyone's drinking, I don't know." He didn't care at this point. He just wanted a drink. He got a beer with a name he couldn't pronounce. Paying for it, he made his way to a hidden corner of the hotel lobby. He wanted to make sure that none of the girls saw him drinking his woes away.

    Rirko's problem was that while he could listen to others' grievances, no one was able to listen to his grievances. His job as a therapist was not an easy one. He couldn't talk to anyone without breaking confidentiality. His main grievances were, of course, the Nishizumi.

    Never had he experience such emotional scarring. It broke his heart that the only thing he could do was listen. He wanted to do more, but his position wouldn't allow it. Now that he knew Maho was probably in the same boat as Miho, even worse, it just made things a lot more complicated. Her suppression of her feelings wouldn't last much longer. He could tell. It was only a matter of time.

    "See you got your beer already." A voice broke his thought. Looking around, he saw Ami standing there with the same beer.

    "You too, huh?"

    She shook her head. "Believe me, the crap that I deal with is nothing compared to yours." Sitting beside him, she knew he was stressed and wanted to let it out.

    "How was lunch?"

    "F***ed up." Rirko took a sip of his beer. "Had an unexpected visitor."

    "Who?"

    "Maho."

    Ami's jaw dropped. "What the hell?"

    "She blindsided me. Wanted to talk about her 'personal issue.'"

    "Miho, I presume?" He nodded.

    "What happened." Rirko went silent. He didn't want to break confidentiality.

    Ami looked at him, with a serious, sincere look. "Rirko. You forget, Shiho was my teacher. I also hang out with both of her daughters and know how messed up their family is. Maybe I should have done something back then, but I was stupid and arrogant. I only thought about myself. If I knew this how things would end up, I would have done something."

    Setting her beer down, she confided in him. "Whatever crap you're going through right now, you can't keep it bottled up. You, of all people, should know that."

    She was right. Ami knew the Nishizumi better than anyone. After all, Shiho was her mentor. He knew he would be breaking confidentiality but seeing as she knew about the Nishizumi, everything he discovered today would be common knowledge to her.

    "So, I'll ask again. What happened?"

    He sighed. She wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. "Breathe any of this to anyone…"

    "…yeah, I get it. Enough with the same song and dance routine. Tell me already."

    "… … …fine."
    Notojima - Notojima Golf and Country Club – Evening

    Dinner was fantastic, as expected with a country club expectation. As the rest of the club members enjoyed themselves, indulged on the fine dining after a long day of golfing, the Sensha-do Captains lavished upon the bountiful feast upon them. Japanese delicacies, as well as some western mixtures. All of them sampled the food, their expressions ranging from heavenly bliss to horrid disgust. But everyone had a good time. Well, maybe almost everyone.

    Miho did her best mingling with the people there. Yukari was doing most of the talking. She would contribute to a conversation whenever it involved tanks and tank-related issues. The tournament, future practice matches, stratagems defence and offence. Then, the discussion guided themselves to normal activities. Parties, teas, catering, logistics team running. In these discussions, Miho smiled and nodded.

    However, in the back-burner, she was sad that her sister didn't come. She felt that Maho would have been someone that she would be able to hold a conversation. With good reason. The two of them knew what the other was thinking. Such strength of a sisterly bond. But did it hold true today?

    Dinner followed by dessert. The soft music from the club's live band seeped into the room. Mika didn't have to play her kantele. She was more interested in the sounds of the group. Aki and Mikko listened in, as well.

    The rest of the girls were not as relaxed. Darjeeling and Kay had an intense discussion on the importance of US/British joint military programs that were being tested in some of the States and parts of Britain. Wanting to focus more on discipline and camaraderie, the JROTC was a good start but felt it could do more. The possibility of two minds thinking alike sounded fun. While Darjeeling looked forward to preserving a school's dignity, Kay looked forward to the co-ed parties.

    Assam, Orange Pekoe, Alisa and Naomi watched the ping-pong tourney between Darjeeling and Kay as they darted ideas back and forth from each other. The gears in their minds started to turn, as they had ideas that could make their fantasies a reality.

    Nishi and her team, with Katyusha and Nonna, talked about the cultural differences of Pravda and Chiatan. Pravda's strict military discipline and Chi-Ha-Tan's doctrine of full-out assaults. They tired their best to understand each other but failed. Their seconds argued for their respected captains.

    All the while Yukari tried to get a word in, edgewise. Miho simply did nothing. The conversations lasted about an hour before the food was taken away. The dinner, reaching its conclusion.

    Katyusha tapped a glass to get everyone's attention and stood on a table. "Thank you so much for attending this banquet that Katyusha had generously set up for you all!"

    "You set up?" Kay asked. "I'm pretty sure Nonna did all the work." The room bursts into laughter. Nonna gave a quick smile while Katyusha was red-faced.

    "S-Shut up! I did the work! Me! Anyways, I'll have to wrap things up now. Mihoska and I have a match to get to tomorrow." Murmurs flooded the room. It was almost 8:30 pm in the evening.

    Miho nodded. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Both Yukari and Miho got out from their chairs. Katyusha motioned one of the students to prepare their ride back.

    "Will everyone be watching the match tomorrow?" asked Miho.

    Kay gave a thumbs up. "Of course! Wouldn't miss it."

    "Just a moment, Miho." Darjeeling took a bag that was under her seat. Giving it to Orange Pekoe, she gave it to Miho.

    "What is it?"

    "I wanted to mail it to you. However, since I knew you were going to be here, I thought it best if I gave it to you here. It's Glorianna's trademark relaxing tea blend."

    Miho had a bad feeling about this. Does she know? Why would she give me this? "I appreciate the gesture, Darjeeling, thank you."

    Darjeeling smiled, but deep down she hid her worry from her friend.

    "No fair! How come Mihoska got something, but I didn't!" Ever the kid, Katyusha protested.

    "I'll tell you later," was Nonna's reply. Miho and Yukari left to the front of the building, after pledging to have a good, fun match with Katyusha. When they were gone, the discussions began.

    "Why did you give that to her?" asked Kay. Darjeeling sighed.

    "Did you notice anything…usual with Miho this evening?"

    Anchovy put her finger on her chin. "Now that you mentioned it, she was a lot more reserved this evening than usual."

    This piped Nishi's interest. "How so, Duce Anchovy?"

    "Well normally, at least for as long as I've known her, she tried to engage in other topics in conversations. But this time around…she's."

    "Quiet?" asked Carpaccio.

    "Quieter."

    "Yukari was doing the most talking," Pepperoni pointed out. "Maybe too much?"

    "Perhaps maybe trying to throw us from Miho's well-being?"

    "Or something more?"

    The girls wondered what was happening. Miho had always been quiet but tonight showed that she had no interest, if it wasn't about tanks.

    Assam wanted to put her two cents. "Darjeeling-sama noted this behaviour the last time we met."

    "When?" asked Fukuda.

    "After our match, we wanted to congratulate Miho. When we saw her, she was out of breath and was taken into the medical tent by Yukari."

    Everyone was unnerved by this news. The fact that Miho went into the medical tent…did that mean she was harmed during the match?

    "Was she hurt?" asked Tamada.

    "No…she looked fine. Just winded."

    "How did she look?" asked Naomi. "Physically speaking."

    Orange Pekoe answered this question. "She was pale. Her friends said it was because she was planning for our match all night, but I highly doubt it. She just looked…exhausted."

    Past matches with Miho didn't have her exhausted post-match. If anything, she was invigorated by the performances afterwards. This was not the same Miho they came to know.

    Alisa was quiet for a moment. "What is it?" asked Kay.

    "You think…it could be PTSD?"

    "What the hell?" Kay was practically shouting. "What made you think that?"

    "I'm just saying. Look, the girls said they didn't see anything physically wrong. This month's US military journal says it has seen more soldiers coming home with PTSD symptoms. Remember, Sensha-do's an intense sport, especially when you're at the helm. It's rare, but people do get hurt. With the shells raining, and trends moving-"

    "Yeah, but we're not at war!"

    "I know that! But being withdrawn is one of the signs. And Miho's been quiet this evening and- "

    "She doesn't have PTSD! End of story!"

    "Excuse me?" The two girls turned to Nishi. "I'm sorry, but what is this PTSD?"

    "Post-traumatic stress disorder," Naomi replied. "It's a mental instability that happens when soldiers on the battlefield seen things too horrific that the human mind shuts itself down to prevent the person from entering a psychotic break."

    "So, it's a brain problem that if you see too many horrible things, your brain shuts off?" Anchovy wanted the layman's term version. Naomi looked at her.

    "Yeah. We learnt this in one of our health classes."

    Kay sighed for a moment. "Miho just doesn't fit the criteria for PTSD. She's not engaged in any active combat. Nor has she served in a campaign of a military."

    "That's not entirely true." Everyone turned and was surprised it was Mika talking.

    "What do you mean?" asked Mikko. Both Aki and Mikko knew that when she had this tone and looked, it was no laughing matter.

    "She participates in Sensha-do. When you boil it down, she's a platoon leader in charge of driving world war tanks around and attacking others. As for service, while she did not serve in any active military organisation, she did serve in a military school program."

    Kay was wide-eyed. "Son of a bitch. You're right."

    "By all accounts, Kuromormine can be classified as a military school."

    They realised they knew nothing about Miho's past. They never asked. The only thing they knew was that she was a Nishizumi and both her sister and mother were traditional practitioners of Sensha-do.

    Kay lumped her throat. Since first meeting her, Kay had a fondness for Miho. Her open and accepting nature was what made her so lovable. She wanted to think that she was a close friend. And if anyone knew anything about Kay, she wouldn't take any bad-mouthing from anyone about her friends.

    "Do you think something happened in Kuromorimine?"

    Mika shrugged. "Maybe. I can't be too sure."

    Darjeeling was determined to help Miho. "We have to get to the bottom of this otherwise-"

    Just then, there was a slamming sound. Looking for the source of the noise, Katyusha had both hands on the table.

    "I had enough of this! If you girls are intent on talking about this any further, then go ahead. Katyusha has a match to prepare for!" She got up and hurriedly left the door. Slamming it, they looked to Nonna.

    "She likes Miho, as well."

    Anchovy nodded. "We all do."

    "Which is why we will help her," reaffirmed Darjeeling. "But how?"

    "I think I may point you in the right direction. Early today, we met with Oarai's student counsellor. If Miho is dealing with something, he would know."

    "Will he be in tomorrow's match?" asked Orange Pekoe.

    Nonna headed towards the door. "Miho did say he had a lot to do with Oarai's team development. I would imagine so. Until then, Da svedanya." Giving a bow, she left.
    Katyusha was waiting in a hidden part of the entrance. Nonna went up to her.

    "What a waste of time," Katyusha grumbled. "We stuck around there for far too long."

    "It was for a good reason. Are you not worried about your friend, Katyusha?"

    Katyusha glared at her. "Mihoska's a rival! Not a friend! Get it right!" As she said this, some tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped them away with her sleeve.

    "Here." Nonna offered her a pink handkerchief.

    Katyusha wiped the rest of her tears away quickly. "I'm not crying! Let's go!"

    As they headed towards the jeep, Nonna smiled. Katyusha did care.
    Enroute Back to Notojima – Evening

    The jeep roared on the road, heading back to Notojima. The sun had already gone down, and the path was lit only by the jeep's headlights. As they were travelling, Miho and Yukari were in the back. Miho stared at the gift Darjeeling gave her.

    "What' wrong Miss Nishizumi?"

    Miho sighed. "You think Darjeeling and the other Glorianna girls know what's happening.

    "Well, they did see you when you were in that state. It might be a possibility."

    Miho was depressed. She wanted to reassure her friends that everything was alright. However, if the Glorianna girls saw Miho in that way after their match, she did not doubt that she would pick up on it.

    "When is this going to end, Yukari?"

    Asking such as a question, Yukari didn't have an answer immediately. "You've been getting help, Miss Nishizumi. I know that you'll get better."

    "But when?" Miho was frustrated by the lack of progress. She wanted everything to what it once was. Doing Sensha-do with her friends, enjoying her life in Oarai, not worrying about the next panic attack.

    "I truly don't have an answer for that, Miss Nishizumi. I'm sorry."

    "I'm sorry, Yukari. I know I'm taking it out on you. You listening makes me feel better." Putting her head on her shoulder, Miho rested and closed her eyes. "Can you wake me when we get there? I just want to rest my eyes a little."

    "Of course." Propping her shoulder, Yukari held her hand. "Everything will end up okay. Just have faith."

    Miho chuckled softly. "I heard that somewhere before."
    Notojima – Hotel – Evening

    When the girls arrived back at the hotel, it was 9:00 pm in the evening. They didn't see Rirko and Ami in the corner, but they saw them.

    "Miho looks terrible," Ami noted.

    "Probably feels terrible too. I'll have to ask them how it went tomorrow."

    "You think everything went alright? What's that they're carrying." Noticing the bag, they couldn't see the contents from that distance.

    "I don't know, but it looks fancy. Maybe expensive?"

    "Could be from Glorianna," Ani hypothesised. "They're into that prissy, rich stuff."

    "Okay, rude. You can't base an entire school because of gift wrapping."

    "I don't see the problem."

    "You lucky no one else is here. Otherwise, we'd be accused of being drunk when making those comments."

    "Oh, come on! Lighten up! Have another bottle." She was on her third.

    "Hell no, I'm a lightweight. I'm done for the night." Rirko got up to leave.

    Ami smirked. "Wuss."

    "I know, right?" Before heading off, he turned to her. "Thanks. Seriously."

    "Everyone needs an ear to listen to. You've offered your ears to a lot of people. Some of those people I care about. It's the least I can do."

    Rirko head up to his room. It was fortunate it was on the lobby floor. That night, he hoped that everything would turn out okay for tomorrow's match.

    Unfortunate that some luxuries don't pan out that way.
    Notojima – Hotel – Night

    Saori, Mako and Hana were sharing a room while Yukari and Miho shared another on the lobby floor. Seeing that the match was going to be tomorrow afternoon, they decided to rest early to plan early tomorrow. They could sleep easily however that night, before midnight, Miho woke up. She couldn't understand why. Maybe the excitement of an incoming match or the possibility Darjeeling knew about her condition. Either way, she couldn't get back to sleep.

    'Maybe a walk in the lobby will do me some good.' Wearing her pyjamas and taking her card key, she was careful not to wake Yukari.

    Walking on the lobby floor, Miho strolled in the empty hallway. She was enjoying the peace until she heard snickering. She wondered who it was. Turning a corner, she saw two boys at one of the lobby's computers. They were trying to hold their laughter while watching a video.

    "Oh my god, I can't breathe!"

    "Shut up, shut up, someone will hear. Okay, okay one more. This is a compilation."

    "Is it good?"

    "It better be. It has a lot of likes and views."

    Miho hid behind a corner. The volume wasn't loud, but she could still hear. What she heard next froze her in place.

    It was shouting. More than shouting, they were military commands. Military men screaming and yelling at recruits to complete their tasks quickly and flawlessly. Of course, they couldn't so they were yelled at some more. And the cycle continued over and over, and the only thing the recruit can say was 'yes, drill sergeant or aye aye sir.'" This went on for another three minutes, and the boys howled with laughter.

    "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?" The boys turned to see the concierge headed towards them. "I keep getting complaints from people. You were told before, no computers after midnight!"

    The boys jumped and ran towards the stairs while laughing all the while. In the entire exchange, Miho just stood and listened. She couldn't move. She breathed heavily. The whole event reminded her of something her mind wanted to forget.
    Kuromorimine. It was raining. Miho was on the Sensha-do training grounds, where all the tanks were. She stood there, petrified what awaited her. Suddenly, she some him.

    A big intimidating man, with three other Kuromorimine officers who were her senior. Maho wasn't there. She got called off somewhere by mother. At that time, she had wished she was there with her.

    "What did I do wrong? Why was I called here? I didn't do anything! So, why?" She had little time to contemplate because now the instructor and the other officers descended upon her and started to scream.

    The others were just yelling random stuff Miho didn't understand. They were inches away from her entire head. But the words she focused on was the instructor. She couldn't avoid him. He was yelling in front of her face.

    "When are you going to be your own girl? When are you going to quit holding your sister's hand, huh? Are you stupid that you can't think for yourself? Are you just a fun, loving hippie that want to smoke a joint with a Boko bear doll? Do they really allow kinders in this school? Who the hell, in their right mind, cuddle with a bear at your age? You had better get your shit together otherwise you will get your shit wrecked! Do you get what I'm saying?"
    And on. And on. And on. Miho could only answer 'yes sir' to him. He was yelling these questions so fast; she didn't have an opportunity to answer. He didn't care though. He kept up yelling random stuff while she kept on yelling 'yes sir!'

    This exchange lasted three minutes. She kept her bearing until near the end. He said something that hurt her.

    "Your sister was born lucky. You're lucky to be just born!"

    At that, Miho shed silent tears. A lot of quiet tears. Everyone stopped. The instructor took his finger, wiped a tear from her cheek, and licked it.

    "Now I own your soul." He said this while keeping the same, stern face.

    All four of them went back to the shed. Miho stood there in the rain for another three minutes before they led her back in. When she got home, she ran to her room and locked the door. There she cried into her pillow. There wasn't any amount of Boko plays that day to make her happy.
    She stood there. Frozen in a place like a statue. She walked a couple of steps backwards and tried to head back towards her room. It came. The heavy breathing, the heart palpitations, the tightness of chest. This time, it was a lot more intense. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she started to cough heavily. Feeling lightheaded, she collapsed on the floor all the while trying to get back up. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't do it. Her vision clouded by the tears, each breath laboured with coughs.

    'I'm going to die. I'm going to die, and no one will know.' She was scared, but no one knew she was out there. The feeling of death prevented her from saying anything. She was hoping, praying that someone would come.
    Rirko was woken by the sound of coughing. "Man, what? No one ever heard of cough drops?" He was in a grumpy mood. Mostly because he was awoken from nightly bliss. He tried to ignore it, but it kept on going. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

    "Damn it!" He got up, wearing pyjamas and a t-shirt, and headed towards the door. When he peeked into the peephole, he instantly woke up.

    It was Miho. She was on the floor. Rirko's heart stopped. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."

    At that point, all he wanted to do was bust open the door and tend to her. But a reaction like that would have made the situation worse.

    Shaking, he opened the door slowly. Walking over to her, he knelt. When Miho saw him, she hastily grabbed his whole arm, her nails digging into his bare skin. He didn't care. She tried to speak to him, but the words wouldn't leave her mouth. They were mixed with gasps and sobs. Her eyes are meeting his, pleading him to help her.

    "Shh…I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're scared, I know. I'm here. I'm here. Can I help you?" His voice was in a whisper. He had to calm her down.

    Nodding her head shakily, he sat down and gently propped her up against the wall. "Good job. Now, can you breathe?"

    Miho began to breathe deep breaths.

    Miho began to breathe deep breaths.

    "Slow, okay? Slowly. No rush." Following the instructions, she slowed her breathing. She held on to his hand and didn't let go. They sat there, just the two of them. She was still shaken by the near-death experience. But she was glad that someone was there with her, especially someone she knew. Just then, the concierge from before stumbled upon them. He was about to open his mouth, probably to yell for help, before Rirko called him over. The concierge bent down to his ear.

    "Sir? Is everything alright? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

    "Everything is fine. I need you to do something."

    "Yes, sir."

    "I need you to get my phone inside my room, on the dresser. It's right across from us."

    Understanding, the concierge opened the door using a master passkey. He entered the room. About a minute later, he emerged again with the phone and gave it to Rirko.

    "Thank you."

    "Do you require anything else?" This, naturally, freaked him out.

    "Yeah. Can you get a cup of water for the lady here?" Bowing, he rushed immediately to get the cup. Miho looked on and continued to hold him.

    "Are you doing okay now?"

    She shook her head. She couldn't speak yet but understood his questions. They weren't overly hard. Simple yes and no questions. Rirko took his phone and looked at Ami's number. He called her up.

    A sleepy voice came from the other end. "H-Hello?"

    "Main floor. Now."

    "Rirko? What the hell?"

    "Main floor, Ami. And don't freak out." He hung up. A few minutes later, he heard a door open on the main floor. Ami, in her robe, walked out of the room. When she saw the two, she froze. She stood there for a few moments before walking towards them.

    "Rir- What? W-What happened?" Ami asked him. Miho looked on as the two talked.

    "I'll talk to you later about it. I don't have her friends phone. Are any of the girls on this floor?"

    "I think she was sharing a room with Yukari. It was on this floor."

    "Fine." He turned to Miho. "How are you? Can you get up?"

    Nodding slowly, Rirko helped her up. She shakily stood, grabbing onto his arm.

    "Let's get you somewhere comfortable, where you can sit down."

    The three went over to the central lobby area. There, they sat on couches surrounding a fireplace. The concierge came back with the glass of water. Miho slowly drank while Rirko and Ami looked on. They whispered to one another while she sat by herself.

    "What the hell happened to her?" Ami wanted to know.

    "I found her on the floor, coughing."

    "That doesn't explain what happened."

    "I don't know, Ami. All I do know is that those were anxiety symptoms. I'm thinking she felt as if she was going to die."

    "This is not good. She can't talk, and I can only imagine how she's feeling."

    "Yeah." Rirko noticed the concierge looking nervously towards them. He kept busy at the front desk.
    "Excuse me?" Rirko said as he approached the front desk.

    "Yes, sir?"

    "Thank you for your assistance. It's greatly appreciated."

    "Um…your welcome sir. Forgive me. I never had to deal with a situation like this before."

    Every dollar I heard that. "Did anything happen in this hotel during the night?"

    "No…wait." So, something did happen. Did it have something to do with Miho?

    "There were some complaints from some of the guests on this floor about a noise disturbance coming from the main lobby. When I checked, there were two hooligans on the computer, past their time. They were probably looking at videos."

    Okay? Nothing unusual there. Kids are acting like kids. "Anything else? Did you happen to see what they were watching?"

    "N-No…but I heard…"

    "Yes?"

    "I heard a lot of screaming."

    "Are you certain?"

    "They were playing the video low, but when I got to them, I could hear the noise."

    "Thank you, sir. You've been most helpful." Giving a bow, Rirko returned to the girls.
    By this time, Miho still hadn't spoken to Ami. Rirko was still concerned but relieved that the situation had died down a little. "How are you, Miho."

    "…"

    "I see."

    "She still can't talk," Ami stepped in. "I tried asking her about what happened, but I got nothing."

    "She'll tell us when she's ready. Right, Miho?" She nodded her head and took another sip of water.

    "We'll talk about the match later," he whispered to Ami. She nodded. Now was the time to look after Miho's well-being. Everything else was secondary.

    It was one thirty in the morning, and suddenly the three heard running footsteps. Just then, Yukari, in her pyjamas darted her eyes all over the place. She was apparently looking for Miho. When she saw the three, she rushed in.

    "Miss Nishizumi!" She ran over, out of breath. She had tears in her eyes. "What happened to you? When I woke up, you were gone! I didn't see you anywhere in the room."

    Miho looked down, teary-eyed. She started to shake again.

    Rirko sighed. "Have a seat, Yukari. I'll explain." When it was all said and done, the two girls were held unto one another. Miho felt terrible about Yukari finding out what happened. Yukari felt horrible that something like this happened again while she was right next to her.

    "Miss Nishizumi. Please don't feel bad about this." Miho was trying not to.

    Rirko knew that the match would start in the afternoon. "Miho's been through a lot. I'd say let her get some shut-eye. At least a few hours of sleep. Then, we'll discuss the possibility of her participating in the match."

    Yukari went wide-eyed while Miho's skin turned pale.

    "Can we talk about it now, Mr Nagasawa?" Yukari pleaded.

    Rirko shook his head. "Right now, everyone's on edge. To facilitate a proper discussion, everyone must have a clear mind. Once everyone has gotten some shut-eye, and we're all fine, we'll talk about it. End of story."

    Both nodded. They agreed that they would see Rirko and Ami in the Oarai team tents, on the battlefield, a few hours before the start of the match. Exhausted, Yukari helped Miho back into her room. She wasn't the only one tired. As soon as they were out of sight, both Ami and Rirko sighed simultaneously.

    "What a mess," Rirko mused.

    "You got that right. So, what now?"

    "Obviously, she can't go through with that match."

    "Don't be too sure. Miho's the type of person that can do a lot of crazy things. If last year was any indication."

    "But she wasn't dealing with emotional crap, last year. This year, she's been bombarded with it."

    Ami understood where Rirko was coming from. Emotional exhaustion was just as severe as physical exhaustion. He merely thought that she couldn't take it.

    "Rirko. If you think you know Miho Nishizumi by the number of times you spoke with her, you're wrong."

    He looked at her, inquisitively. "How?"

    "Like her sister and mother, Miho's a strong-willed individual. Always tries her best, she can get things done. She's not afraid to get her hands dirty. Most of all, she's loyal. There's no way she would leave her team hanging. Miho believes she's responsible for them. She nurtured their strengths, gave them ideas on how to work together and most importantly have them figure out what talents they had to create a working unit. You should know how strong she can be when she puts her heart into something. Sensha-do is her life. An important part of her. There is no way, in hell, that she's going to let you take that away from her."

    "Damn it, Ami. I thought you were with me on this."

    "I am. But I also want you to think about Miho's emotional state in this. This is about her, after all. And you're about to make an arbitrary decision that doesn't respect her feelings?"

    Ami was right, once again. Rirko was concerned about Miho's mental state. That she would be too weak to lead during a Sensha-do match. That something terrible might happen to her or the others. But, he had forgotten how intense Miho could be. He had not witnessed the trials Miho and the others went through last year. It was a testament to their willpower.

    Rirko sighed. Ami had a point, but he also had a professional obligation to make sure that Miho was safe. He had to make a choice.

    "… … …fine. But if she cracks out there, I'm pulling her out!"

    "Fine with me."

    That was the end of it. Rirko would let Miho participate. But at first sight of trouble, he would take her away.

    "I hope I don't regret this."

    "We'll just have to wait and see. Now, we need to get some rest as well. We're not leaving here until 9."

    "So, a few hours of sleep?"

    "You can always sleep on the bus."

    "Meh…" Rirko didn't like that idea, but he had no choice in the matter. Why, what was supposed to be a relaxing night, ending up one of the most intense?
    Notojima - Hotel - Hotel Room - Night

    Yukari tucked Miho back into her bed. Calmed down substantially, she could talk slowly.

    "I'm…sorry."

    Yukari shook her head. "What did I say before? I'm here for you. We all are."

    "I want…to…be… there."

    "And you will. Just get some rest. We'll talk about it later." Like before, she held Miho's hand. Gripping it, Miho allowed herself to relax and finally rest.

    While waiting for her to sleep, Yukari's thoughts were on her friend. She felt no malice or hatred for her part in the situation. She only felt a sense of love and responsibility. For it was Miho that changed her life. When she invited her to look for tanks the first time she met the rest of her friends, she was no longer alone. Yukari owed her a great deal.

    'You helped me so much, Miss Nishizumi. Now, it's my turn.'
    A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. The support and love have been nothing short of heartwarming. I don't truly understand the life of a military school student or military life for a kid, but I would imagine it would be intense. Let me know. I try to make this story as accurate as possible.
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: I tried. I really, really tried. Double checked, triple checked, make sure that it's sound. It's as best as its going to get. You all have been sending some great ideas and constructive criticism. It's been helping me with my writing. Thank you for your support.

    - Been using Grammarly, so I've been using the Americanized word style, not Canadian. I'm sorry if I didn't say before.

    - The roller-coaster is not over yet! Enjoy.

    Update (shoutout to Goodalwayswins98)

    - The Panzer III had a crew of five, not six

    - Small name changes
    Notojima – Hotel – Morning

    The day of the match finally arrived. Oarai vs Pravda. As the rising sun appeared before Notojima, the teams woke up, one by one, revitalized from the sleep. As the students, especially the Sensha-do teams, prepared themselves for breakfast Saori, Hana and Mako assembled themselves in front of Yukari and Miho's room.

    "Miporin! Yukarin! Time for breakfast!" Saori sounded way too cheerful for the morning.

    Mako, in typical Mako fashion, gave a big yawn. "Even I got up early. What's up with them? If we could have slept in, then I would have."

    "This is strange," Hana pondered aloud. "Usually those two are way up early to prepare for the match." She knocked on the door. A few minutes later, the door opened, and a half-sleepy Yukari greeted them. Everyone was surprised.

    "Yukarin? You're not ready?" Saori, as well as the others, had thought they would be all set. Yukari rubbed her eyes.
    "I'm sorry. Something happened last night."

    Everyone's heart dropped. Did something happen? Again?

    "Was it Miho?" Hana asked, out of concern. Yukari nodded. "I see."

    "What happened?!" Saori wanted to know. "What happened to Miporin?!"

    "Shh!" Yukari wanted everyone to be quiet. Miho was still sleeping. She entered the room, grabbed her keycard and closed the door behind her. "It's like this."

    Yukari explained to them what happened. How Rirko found Miho on the floor, struggling to breathe or move. How he and Ami kept her calm. How Miho felt afterwards, full of guilt that yet again she dragged Yukari into her mess. As she was retelling the story, the three girls looked on shocked by what transpired as they slept. When Yukari finished her story, none of the girls said a thing.

    "I…I'm sorry, Yukari. We had no idea." Hana could barely speak the words. Saori and Mako must have felt the same way. That they had failed Miho. Saori suddenly ran towards the main lobby.

    "Saori!" Mako called out. She wanted to go after her, but Hana stopped her.

    "It's okay. She'll be fine. She's just upset."

    Yukari shook her head. "I'm not mad at anyone. It happened way early in the morning. Nobody knew. If Mr Nagasawa wasn't there when he was…"

    Mako and Hana agreed. Miho was okay because Rirko could be there for her. It didn't matter whether he was on the clock or not. He was willing to help.

    "We'll have breakfast later. We're leaving around nine, right?"

    Hana nodded. "Y-Yeah. We'll tell everyone else you're sleeping in. Just get as much sleep as you can."

    Yukari smiled slightly and returned to her room. Mako sighed, "well, this is a great way to start the morning. On match day, too."

    "Let's go find Saori. She must feel horrible." The two friends went to find their third.
    Notojima – Hotel – Main Lobby - Morning

    Rirko slept a few hours before waking up. His external alarm clock was wounded to six in the morning. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get back to sleep. In the main lobby, he was waiting for breakfast to be ready.

    Sipping on a cup of orange juice he bought from the vending machine, he picked up a newspaper and started to relax.

    'Last night was a total disaster. I just hope that today isn't going to be-' Just then, he spotted Saori, running from one corner of the lobby to the other and out the door. She was in tears.

    "No…No of course not. Why wouldn't it be?!" The day was starting with one of Miho's friends in tears. Saori must have heard what happened to her. Moments later, Mako and Hana made their entrance and headed towards Rirko.

    He was emotionally exhausted and wasn't in the mood to counsel. However, when he saw Hana and Mako's faces, he couldn't stay mad at them. They needed help.

    "I guess you three know what happened to Miho last night?" asked Rirko. Hana nodded.

    "Yukari filled us in. Saori took the news hard."

    Mako sighed. "We failed Miho."

    "No…no, no we are not starting that!" Rirko stood up and looked at the girls. "If anything, Miho's in a better place because of all of your efforts. But there's only so many people can do. You've done your part. So, don't tell me that you've failed!"

    Hana and Mako looked at him. He seemed upset.

    "I-I'm sorry, Mr Nagasawa. I didn't mean to offend-"

    "Mako, just…" Rirko had to pause. He had let his mood get the better of him, although his intentions were pure. "Sorry. I only wanted to reaffirm to the both of you that you didn't do anything wrong. How were you supposed to know what was happening in the dead of night? The only reason why I was able to help was that Miho was practically in front of my door."

    "So, it was by chance you were able to help her?"

    "I really don't know. All I do know was that she needed help. You would've done the same, right?"

    Both nodded. They would have done the same. Rirko looked at the front door. "Hmm, are we going to go after her or what?"

    "We'll handle it, Mr Nagasawa, thank you. Saori can get…defensive with people she doesn't know well. I mean, you only saw each other during practice and that one meeting."

    "Point taken," Rirko sat back down. "I'll let her in your care. But if you get in trouble, let me know right away."

    As they bowed and headed towards the front door, Rirko hoped that Miho wouldn't participate. But knowing her, she totally would. That's how she was devoted to Sensha-do.

    But then again, his guesses about Miho turned out wrong sometimes.
    Notojima- Outside Hotel - Morning

    "Saori! Saori!" Hana called out. People were heading off to work, cars driving past. It was a start of a brand-new day. The sun had risen slightly before they were able to find Saori. She was on a bench, crying.

    "Over there!" Mako and Hana ran over to her. As they approached, Saori started to leave.

    "Leave me alone! I don't want to talk about it!"

    "Nope, that's not happening!" Hana and Mako walked briskly towards her. Seeing Hana's angry look, grounded Saori a little. She sat down.

    Mako took Saori's hand. "I know what you think. It's the same for the rest of us. That we failed Miho."

    Saori didn't say it, but she was right. "We said we would be there for her. When she was suffering, we were just sound asleep not realizing what was happening!"

    "But it was way early in the morning. Nobody would be up at that time." Hana needed to rationalize the situation for her. Thinking about failure wouldn't have done any good. They needed to move on.

    "Yukari isn't mad at us. She understands." Saori was afraid that Yukari would be upset with them. That they intentionally left Yukari alone to deal with the mess.

    "We simply didn't know. If we had, we would have helped. But we didn't We have to accept it and move on."

    "Yukarin, Miporin. They've been through a lot. How can I…can we support them."

    "By doing what we do best," Hana replied, with a smile. "Be there for them."

    "To talk. To listen. To help. Whatever it takes to make Miho's life easier." Mako's insightful words and Hana's spirit gave Saori new resolve. She wiped the tears with her sleeve.

    "Then let's do our best today."
    Notojima – Hotel –Dining Area - Morning

    Rirko was finishing his second helping of breakfast before Ami walked in. In full dress uniform, it looked like she didn't have the fatigue from the night before. Hair neatly made, makeup on, even her dress shoes were shinned. Rirko was sitting by himself. The rest of the faculty had their own table.

    He didn't like mingling with the rest of the staff at the school. He was fully aware that despite his excellent advice, the staff was talking about him behind his back. Good, or ill, he didn't know. But they only went to him for professional reasons. A truant student, classroom management, teaching techniques. Everything else; nada. Ami was the only person that he had a good working/social relationship with.

    She sat down beside him, a plate of steamed rice, miso soup and grilled fish. "Wow Rirko, you look like hell."

    "Love you too." Ami blushed bright red before looking to see anyone heard. She punched him hard.

    "Ow! Are you serious Ami?"

    "Don't say stupid stuff like that, stupid! People will get the wrong idea."

    "What idea?"

    Ami stared and shook her head. "I know men can be dense. That just proved my point."

    "Whatever. Forgive me if I feel like crap."

    "Yeah, yeah, I know." Ami sipped on her miso soup. "It was a messed-up night. But, focus on the present now. Supporting the girls during the match is important."

    Rirko looked around. "I don't see Miho or Yukari here."

    "Hmm. They still must be sleeping." She looked at her watch. "7:00. We'll start mustering around 8."

    Rirko looked up. "Mustering?"

    Ami realized what she said. "Did I say muster? I mean, meet up. Meet up in the lobby."

    "Yes…ma'am." She looked at him.

    "I hate you."

    "I know."

    "Do we have to wake them up if we don't see them?"

    "We may have too. I don't want anyone being left behind."

    "Then I'll leave that sort of thing to you."

    Ami agreed. "Fine. But you're going to be in the lobby with the rest of the team for me."

    "Fine with me."

    Now decided on a course of action, they happily ate their breakfast.
    Notojima – Hotel – Miho's Hotel Room - Morning

    Yukari slept for another half hour before waking up. Stretching herself, she went over to Miho.

    "Miss Nishizumi? Miss Nishizumi? Wake up." Shaking her slightly, Yukari went over to see Miho wide awake. She smiled.

    "Good morning, Miss Nishizumi. Are you well?" Miho took the covers and stretched a little.

    "Good morning, Yukari. I'm okay, thank you." Smiling a little, Miho didn't have the heart to tell her she still felt anxious. Only a little bit.

    "We got plenty of time to get ready." Yukari headed to the washroom.

    "Yukari?"

    "Yes?"

    "Were you talking to someone this morning?"

    Yukari considered telling Miho about meeting the girls this morning. "N-no. I didn't"

    Miho titled her head. "Really? Must be me then. Let's not keep the others waiting." As Miho rummaged through her luggage, Yukari thought to herself.

    'Miss Nishizumi looks okay. But I'm still worried.'

    Miho hid her face but was downcast. She knew that Yukari spoke to the girls about what happened.

    'This is my fault. They're all worried about me. I must make this work. For everyone's sake.'
    Notojima – Hotel –Dining Area - Morning

    Yukari and Miho made their way to the dining hall. None of the Sensha-do team members was there, but there were still some students talking and eating. They were lucky. Breakfast was always hot, and it was only 7:30. They had one hour before they had to leave for the match. They were going to stay in the hotel for one more night, so they could take their time packing.

    Grabbing the miso soup, grilled fish and rice they found a spot near a sunlit window. It was a beautiful day. But in the afternoon, the forecast called for a snow…a lot of snow. The air was brisk, and some people were already in winter coats.

    "We didn't get a chance to prepare this time, Miss Nishizumi," Yukari said as she stuffed a helping of rice in her mouth. "But, I'm sure we'll do fine."

    "The team has been practising. I'm sure that they have the strategy on lock. Let's just hope that Katyusha hasn't changed her ambush tactics. Otherwise, we'd be in trouble."

    The two ate their breakfast silently. As the students left to get ready for the day, Yukari and Miho quietly studied one another. The question of the morning visitors weighted on both minds. To Yukari, did she know? To Miho, when will she tell? Both knew something was up, but they didn't realize it was about the same thing.

    Yukari couldn't take the silence anymore. "Miss Nishizumi?"

    "Yes?"

    "I…was talking with someone this morning."

    Miho gave a sigh. So, she did know. "Was it the girls?" Yukari nodded slowly.

    "I told them what happened."

    "And?"

    "Well…"

    Miho wanted Yukari to spit it out. To tell her how mad they were that something like this happened on their watch. How Miho, again, had them deal with her issue.

    "Just say it, Yukari. Please."

    "Saori was upset. Hana and Mako went to calm them down. They were concerned."

    Miho's guess was right on the mark. The girls visited, they got upset and concerned. She felt unbearably guilty. She clenched her right hand and was trying to hold in the anger that she kept for herself.

    "Doing that won't change a thing." Both girls turned to see Hana, Mako and Saori walking towards them. Hana saw Miho's clenched hand. She gently put her hand on Miho's fist.

    "Getting angry with yourself won't change the fact that what happened, happened."

    "Good or ill, we stick together. That's what friends do." Mako nodded her head. For any person dealing with this stress, supports were a valuable commodity.

    The sentiment was appreciated, but the guilt was still there. "I know that. I do. I'm just tired."

    "Tired?"

    "I never used to be this way. When the only thing I cared about was the friends I've made and Sensha-do. Everything used to be easy. I just…want things to go back to how they used to be. I just…"

    Hearing Miho like this was depressing. But they cared less about their own feelings and more about hers.

    "And things will get better, Miporin. In time."

    "When's that going to be?" Miho asked mournfully. "I can't exactly live my life like this. Worrying each day will be the day I lose my friends!"

    Anglerfish was agape. Miho, in her moment of frustration, had let loose her biggest fear in all this. That she would lose everything, she'd gained. Her sacrifices, her struggles amounting to one colossal failure.

    Wide-eyed at the realization of what she had said, Miho was red-faced and silent. She knew she couldn't take back what she said.

    "Miporin? Is that how you feel? Do you still think we're going to leave you? After all, we've been through together?"

    While she had assurances that they would not leave her side, a part of her thought otherwise. Why carry a burden you have no obligation to carry? You can leave it, cast it aside and go somewhere far away. No longer trouble yourself with the doom and gloom. Be happy, to live life your own way. It's what her mother and sister would do. It's what she would do, given the circumstances.

    Miho expected for them to leave at that moment. She wouldn't blame them. Who wanted to hang out with a depressed person? Looking down, she waited for the worse.

    Hana's hand was still on Miho's. Then, Yukari's. Mako and Saori joined them. Miho looked up and saw them, smiling.

    "Surprised?" Hana asked. "Don't be. In your heart, you were hoping we'd do this."

    In the broadest reaches of her heart, she didn't want anyone to leave. Her wish was granted, and she realized how much her anxiety controlled her.

    "How could I ever doubt you girls?" Miho asked, in a mumble.

    "We understand how hard it is, Miss Nishizumi. You worry about your condition every day. But you always put others in front of you. Shedding tears, not for yourself, but for those around you."

    "And that's why we're here, Miporin. That's what makes you so interesting."

    Initially shocked and touches by these words, Miho smiled. "Funny, I thought me being awkward and clumsy is what made me interesting."

    "You know what I mean. Details, details."

    As everyone laughed at the joke, Miho realized for whom the company she kept. They were her friends who would stand by her, good or ill. If she doubted before, this would erase all doubts now.

    She was not alone. Nor will she ever be.
    Notojima – Hotel – Lobby - Morning

    The Sensha-do team gathered in the main lobby. Rirko yawned as he saw the various groups, excited about the match.

    'Look at all these girls giddy. That'll probably change after the match.' But then again, he didn't hold his breath. He saw the girls after the match last time, and they were just as hyper post-match.

    "You don't look too good." Rirko sleepily turned slowly to see Hippo staring at him. Caesar was the one who spoke.

    "Mr. Nagasawa, what's wrong? You look like you were up all night." Hippo wanted an answer.

    "That's because I was."

    They turned wide-eyed. "Really?" They asked in unison.

    "No."

    "Oh." They looked dejectedly. Rirko couldn't tell them what happened to Miho. It would have caused unnecessary trouble.

    "So, are you girls ready for the Pravda's match?" Rirko said, to change the subject.

    "All set and ready to go!" Oryo proclaimed. "We've got our portion of the strategy down pat!"

    "Just don't end up too cocky, Oryo," Erwin warned. "Overconfidence is the greatest enemy. A certain short commander showed us that."

    The 'short commander' Erwin mentioned had to be Katyusha. She was overconfident and overbearing. At least, according to them.

    "History has shown how the weak overturned the mighty. Like how the British were routed during the American Civil War."

    "Or the Battle of Okehazama during the Sengoku period!" added Saemonza.

    "Or perhaps the Battle of the Red Cliffs in the Three Kingdoms Era?" pipped Rirko. That had Hippo staring at him for a while with a look of bewilderment. Rirko, who secretly had enough of the history buff's flaunting of historical battles, decided to see if they knew about the history of other countries. Not only Japan and the US.

    Hippo looked at each other. Then smiled. "THAT'S IT!"

    Rirko was now the one who looked dumbfounded. He thought he could trick them. "What? You know about that?"

    Erwin, Oryo and Caesar parted the way for Saemonza, who cleared her throat. Taking a deep breath, she began.

    "The Battle of the Red Cliffs, or more commonly known as the Battle of Chibi, was a battle fought during the later Han Dynasty Period. It was against the northern warlord, Cao Cao, who had taken control of the Han Imperial Court and the southern warlords; an alliance between Liu Bei and Sun Quan. This battle was Cao Cao's effort to conquer the land south of the Yangtze River. The numerically superior forces of Cao Cao had everyone thinking that the campaign would end in the northern warlord's favour.
    However, due to the efforts of the alliance strategists, Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu, Liu Bei and Sun Quan completely countered Cao Cao's forces via a fire attack on his naval fleet, causing significant damage. Some people called it luck due to the direction of the winds changing. Others think that supernatural powers were at work. While Cao Cao himself escaped, the Battle of the Red Cliffs ensured the survival of Liu Bei and Sun Quan and later the establishment of Shu Han and Eastern Wu respectively realizing Zhuge Liang's Longzhong Plan to split the kingdoms into three. Hence the name "Three Kingdoms".

    With Saemonza finishing her explanation, Rirko was shocked. He had thought they focused all their attention on US/Japan history. He was proven wrong.

    "I'm surprised you know that, Mr. Nagasawa! You're not a history teacher, are you?" Caesar was very interested. The looks of the rest of Hippo saw Rirko had also their seal of approval.

    "Well, I like to look at historical facts from time to time." And when I'm bored.

    "I think we may have found a kindred spirit!" Proclaimed Erwin. Hippo nodded in unison. Grimacing at the thought, Rirko closed his eyes, in annoyance.

    Just then, Anglerfish walked in. The room hushed with silence. Miho made her way to the centre of the lobby, with her friends by her side. She was smiling.

    "I hope everyone had a great night sleep! Let's all do our best out there!"

    "YEAH!"

    As the team prepared to head out, Rirko glanced at Miho. She looked like she was in good spirits. But then again, looks can be deceiving.
    Transit to Noto Battlegrounds - Morning

    The ride to the battleground remained uneventful. Each team weren't overly loud, not like back at the hotel. The Sensha-do team travelled together for Miho to carry out orders. They were focused, listening to every detail. Kii and Risa, as the two greenhorns of the group, were understandably nervous.

    After reviewing the battle strategy, Miho went into the chain of command contingency. She finalized who was going to do what if either she or Anglerfish were incapacitated. Momo and Erwin, while initially shocked by being tapped as contingent commanders, understood their place. So, did everyone else.

    As they neared the battlegrounds, the first snowfall descended upon the mountains. Over time, the grey clouds gathered, and the rate of snow increased. The girls looked on in amazement to see such a spectacle. Kii and Risa, however, were distracted by their roles in the match. The same could be said for Tortoise and Platypus. Miho took notice.

    "Platypus, Tortoise, listen up!" The team members stood up straight and looked at her. Miho projected her voice, so she could be heard from the roaring of the bus running on the ground.

    "This is your first match. I get that you girls are nervous and maybe frightened of what's going to happen. We've all been there. When the team started Sensha-do, we were riding off the seat of our pants. I didn't know if we could be a good team. Do you know what helped me?"

    Not only Platypus and Tortoise were listening, but the entire team as well.

    "Teammates! Friends! People that I can rely on! When someone says they'll get something done, they'll get it done! When someone says they're going in, we all go in! Don't think that everyone here doesn't have your back! Because we do! We are one team, united by a single goal… to honour the spirit of Sensha-do! And more importantly, to have fun!"

    Miho's inspiring words inspired everyone. Cheers and claps filled the bus up. Even Momo, the ever-stern disciplinarian, couldn't help but cheer.

    "Let's do our best out there! We win, we win! We lose, we win because it was a good match! The most important thing I want everyone to take away from this and this goes especially for Platypus and Tortoise, that whatever we do, we do together! As one!"

    Finishing, Miho sat down. Cheers and applause erupted again, perhaps even louder. Anglerfish was proud to have a team commander, a friend who could inspire them. Miho took a sip of bottled water.

    "A fine speech, very arousing." Miho set her gaze on the person sitting in front of her. It was Rirko. She forgot that he and Ami were sitting in front of them.

    "This is pretty much the standard for Miho," Ami quipped. "It still doesn't get old." Miho blushed and shrunk down a little. Ami and Rirko nodded. There was no need to meet with her and Yukari before the match. Miho's speech showed them her frame of mind.

    Dedicated to her team, there was no way she would leave them.
    Noto Battlegrounds – Oarai Main Camp – Morning

    The tanks on both sides were prepped and ready to go. Pravda and Oarai both spent equal amounts of time planning for this match. All their efforts would accumulate to this moment.

    Miho and the others were going through some last-minute instruction when Nonna and Katyusha came to see them. They noticed that Katyusha wasn't on Nonna's shoulders this time. She had a solemn face, but she was just as excited as Miho was.

    "Katyusha will not be going easy. Prepare yourself, Mihosha!"

    "I wouldn't expect anything else."

    Both bowed, which was surprising because Katyusha did something so out of character. Why was she acting humble suddenly?

    Nonna and Katyusha left together. Total silence between the two of them.

    "What…" Katyusha said, finally. Nonna was silent.

    "What?" She whined. "What's wrong?"

    "Why did you do that?"

    "Do what?"

    "No boasting. No arrogance and when I bowed, so did you. Why?"

    "S-So what?! I can't be nice once and a while?! Maybe I felt like it!" Katyusha was defensive. "W-What does it matter?! Drop it and let's go!" She sped walked ahead of Nonna, leaving her confused.

    "It still doesn't answer why."

    As Katyusha walked, the words Rirko spoke to her rang aloud:

    "So long as you can do the job and be respectful about it, I don't care if you were even pint-sized. You are the Sensha-do commander for Pravda's team. If the team doesn't have a problem, neither should you."

    Inadvertently, Rirko had called her out on her overconfidence and arrogance. That made her wonder if she would ever grow if she continued to act the way she usually did. She slowly realized that those who wish for respect must show respect. It had to be gained.

    Half an hour later, both sides made their way to the centre of the field. The snow already was piling up. Miho, with Yukari, saw the spectators already gathered at the spectator's area. They were closer than usual due to the snow, but far away from any immediate danger. As the judge, Katyusha and Nonna stood, ready to begin the battle, something shook Miho to her very core.

    Sitting in the back row…was her mother and sister…silently watching her. Their steely gaze fixed upon them. It was only after a brief glance, but it was enough. Miho looked like she was going to faint.

    "Both sides, bow!"

    But Miho didn't hear those words. She was too busy listening to the words in her head. 'Why are they here? Why is mother here? If mother and sister were here all this time, why didn't they see me? Why?'

    "-zumi? Miss Nishizumi?"

    "Huh?" Miho snapped out of her stupor to realize that the three were staring at her.

    "Are you alright?" The judge asked, with a slightly concerned tone. "We're about to begin."

    "Y-yes. I'm sorry. I'm ready."

    Katyusha and Nonna exchanged looks. Both, worried. 'What the hell was that, Mihosha?'

    Resuming once again, the judge repeated herself. "Both sides, bow!"

    "Let's have a good battle!"
    Noto Battleground -Spectator's Area - Afternoon

    Miho's stall was caught by all those present. The stands were full of whispers.

    "Did she get stage fright or something?"

    "She just stood there for a few seconds."

    "That kid snapped out of something. You think the pressure's getting to her?"

    "Nah, she dealt with way tougher shit."

    "I hope that she can hold it together."

    Ami and Rirko noticed it as well.

    "It was like she was staring into space or something. What's going on?"

    "I don't know. She was fine on the bus."

    "She was fine. Acted like any other match until she looked towards us. I think that's when her stare started."

    Rirko then looked around. When he looked at the back, he saw.

    "Oh, you motherf***er."

    "What's up?"

    "Look at the back. Geez." Rirko turned around away quickly.

    Ami turned and saw Maho and Shiho looking at the field. They were surveying the area that they didn't see Ami or Rirko look at them.

    "Guess she's here after all. But it wasn't a problem before."

    "That's because she didn't know that they watched her last match. This time, she does."

    "So? Shiho and Maho used to watch her matches all the time. What's the difference?"

    … That she's completely alone on this. She knows that her mother disapproves of her style. She has no idea what to think about her sister."

    Ami shook her head. "This isn't good."

    "Tell me something I don't know."

    Shiho was stoic but noticed something was off about Miho's behaviour. 'Why is that girl acting strangely? What's going on in her head of hers? Focus on the battle, Miho never mind distractions. You should know this by now.'

    "You think she saw us, mother?"

    Shiho wore a sour look. "Why should that matter? She's seen us spectating her matches before."

    "Y-yes." Maho wanted her mother to realize that circumstances changed. That her inner turmoil of her childhood and banishment was playing a role in this.

    "Is there something you want to tell me, Maho?"

    "… no, there isn't."

    "Are you sure?" Shiho wasn't buying Maho's half-cocked responses this time. She knew Maho was hiding something.

    "Yes, mother. I am absolutely sure."

    "Remember your place as the Nishizumi's heir. A strong, honest heart is needed to steer this family forward."

    Maho could feel her anger building within her. How could she be so blind in the anguish her daughter was feeling? If she could, she would have punched Shiho in the face and whale on her until she was nothing more than a red stain.

    "… …I am very aware."

    "That remains to be seen." You will tell me what you're hiding, Maho. It's only a matter of time.

    The match began in earnest. Pravda's tanks were nowhere to be seen. Oarai slowed the advanced and waited for Pravda to make a move. Suddenly, a volley of shells came raining down. It knocked Anteater and Rabbit out. Miho knew that Pravda was taking long ranged shots from a ridge somewhere.

    Katyusha's strategy was straightforward. Avoid all close quarters engagements and fire long ranged shots at the enemy. Once Oarai was down to two tanks, they would rush in for the kill.

    Miho's strategy, dubbed "Operation Hide and Seek", relied on diversion and cunning. Rabbit and Anteater ran down the centre to draw the enemy fire. Meanwhile, Tortoise/ Turtle, Platypus and Mallard ran on each side in between the forests. They would locate the enemy flag tank and take it out while Rabbit and Anteater ran interference. Unfortunately, Rabbit and Anteater were taken out way too quickly, and Katyusha anticipated Oarai to use the forest as cover. En route to Pravda's flag tank, both teams engaged in the woods. Taking one tank for each side.

    Miho was quick to adapt, however, and sent Leopon, Duck with Anglerfish to lure the enemy out. With both teams engaged in the centre and in the forest, both sides were deadlocked. Anglerfish suddenly broke off from engagement. Sensing an opportunity, Katyusha ordered her flag tank and the two other tanks accompanying her to engage Anglerfish and Leopon. As Leopon and Anglerfish were shelled, Hippo arrived to take out the two different tanks with precision.

    Just before that, however, the two tanks double teamed Duck and took it out.

    Miho faked the withdrawal to lure Katyusha out.

    It was then, something terrible happened.

    Leopon's tank caught on fire. Hoshino climbed out and attempted to fix it, only to be blown back by an incoming enemy shell. The tank dipped on one side, and Hoshino badly injured. Leopon's signal flare, the one to let the judge know to stop the match, malfunctioned due to disuse. Leopon were panicking over the course of action. Even Nakajima was at a loss for what to do.

    Just before that, however, the two tanks double teamed Duck and took it out.

    Miho faked the withdrawal to lure Katyusha out.

    It was then, something terrible happened.

    Leopon's tank caught on fire. Hoshino climbed out and attempted to fix it, only to be blown back by an incoming enemy shell. The tank dipped on one side, and Hoshino badly injured. Leopon's signal flare, the one to let the judge know to stop the match, malfunctioned due to disuse. Leopon were panicking over the course of action. Even Nakajima was at a loss for what to do.

    Miho's decision was swift. Ordering the Panzer to advance at full speed, dodging the KV-2 shells, it landed safely beside the Tiger. Firing the Panzer's signal flare, the judge ordered a stop to the match. As Miho descended upon ground zero, she saw Hoshino's mangled body. Her arm was broken, open wounds to her leg, arm and face and she was trying to move.

    Miho felt her heart raced. She was no stranger to this, so why did she think this way? She assessed the situation. Her presence on the battlefield meant that Leopon and Anglerfish's driver could see them to not run over them.

    "Possible broken arm and ribs. Hoshino, stay still!" She grabbed her coat, folded it, and elevated the broken arm. Hoshino flinched a bit from the pain. Miho searched the ground near her for any branches and found two. Ripping her jacket more, she created a temporary splint for Hoshino's broken arm. She cleaned off the blood on her wounds and dressed them with a portion of her long-sleeved shirt. Miho made sure that she was comfortable; checking for signs of shock.

    "Miho, it hurts everywhere. What happened?" Hoshino was in a state of distress.

    "Y-you got hit by an aftershock and got knocked down bad. I've already ordered Yukari to radio in the medics. They're on their way."

    Stressed about what was in front of her, Miho felt a lump in her throat. She tried to shake it off. 'Calm. Stay calm. I've been through worse. Fine…everything is fine.'

    Hoshino was glad to see Miho. "Miho? Miho…" she started to cry. Miho held her hand.

    "You're going t-to get h-help. I-It's on the way."

    Seeing Hoshino, her mind flashed to that point in her life. The final match. The moment when she saved those five girls from certain death. When she got there, they had the same eyes that Hoshino had now. They looked at her with fear, with uncertainty. All the training that Kuromormine prepared them for situations like this did little when faced with real danger. But when she saved them, they cried tears of joy because someone cared for them. And how was this selfless act rewarded? Betrayal, shunned and expelled.

    The sadness and rage Miho had left bottled up all that time were surfacing. She could feel it.

    "Miho? What's wrong? Why are you shaking?" Miho didn't notice she was shaking until she saw her own hand. She felt it coming.

    "No…no, not n-now. N-not…"

    As soon as the medical team arrived, Miho was already on the ground next to Hoshino. Holding Hoshino's hand on one and grabbing her chest in the other and breathing heavily.
    Noto Battleground -Spectator's Area - Afternoon

    "Repeat, there has been an injury on the field, all participants ceasefire immediately! All participants, cease fire immediately!"

    Ami and Rirko looked on. The voices of concerned spectators rang:

    "What happened, I didn't see."

    "One of the girls got hit by a shell."

    "Directly?!"

    "I think it was an aftershock."

    "Look, there's a copter!"

    "How many people got hurt?"

    "One or two, I don't know."

    Rirko rubbed his temple. "What the hell happened? Who got hit?"

    "Leopon and Anglerfish were in the middle of it. So was Pravda's flag tank."

    "Goddamn." Rirko didn't know that Sensha-do dangers were real. Even though the Federation prided themselves on safety, stuff like this was bound to happen.

    "Oh my God." Ami gasped as she held her hand over her mouth. She looked shocked.

    "What? What's wrong?"

    "Are you blind? Look at the screen!" Sure enough, on the big screen, there was a crowd of paramedics. They had Hoshino on a stretcher, her entire body stabilized, and headed towards the chopper. Miho was on the ground, still holding her chest; eyes closed and breathing heavily. A couple of paramedics crouched down, and she nodded a little. She was helped up from the ground and went with another paramedic to the tents.

    "Miho was down there as well?! And it looked like…"

    "What happened to her last night…happened just now."

    She had another attack. Miho put herself in harm's way to save her teammate. She had an attack and still stuck with her until helped arrived.

    "I'm going down there." Ami stood up and headed towards the exit. Rirko, just sat there, shocked. "…What the hell?"
    Noto Battleground -Spectator's Area – Higher Level – Afternoon

    "Merda," Anchovy mumbled. The Sensha-do Captain's reactions ranged from disbelief to shock to sadness.

    Darjeeling looked on as the paramedics and officials scrambled to return some sentience of normalcy to the field. The spectators started to pile out of the bleachers. Mika, Anchovy, Kay, and Darjeeling, with their auxiliaries, witnessed the entire thing. Everyone was quiet.

    Orange Pekoe and Assam held each other, Pekoe weeping silently. Mika held unto Rikko and Aki who had blank faces on them. So, did Nishi held to Fukuda and Tamada. Nishi was shaking with her friends trying to comfort her. Kay collapsed on the floor. Naomi and Alisa rushed to help her, but she stopped them. Taking a minute, she helped herself up.

    "How could this happen?" Carpaccio asked, after a while.

    "Didn't Leopon have a signal flare?" Pepperoni asked.

    Darjeeling sighed, "most likely it was out of commission. Otherwise, they would have used it right away."

    "Why didn't they radio in for help?" Fukuda wondered.

    "Did you see Leopon's tank?!" Alisa exploded. "It was caught on fire! So, their communications went along with it!"

    "Alisa…" she turned to see Kay, still saddened. "Please." Calming down, she took the hint. It was no time for her antics.

    "What's wrong?" Anchovy asked Darjeeling. "Something else is bothering you, is there."

    Darjeeling took a minute to think. "Didn't you all see Miho out there?"

    "Um, yeah?" Kay replied. "If it wasn't for her, then that girl would have been crushed!"

    "Yes. But what she was doing when the paramedics arrived."

    Mika thought this. "I noticed that too. She was holding her chest. As if, she was having trouble breathing."

    "Exactly. That's not usual behaviour. You all know, as well as I that she is no stranger to danger. So, why did she do that?"

    "There was something wrong with her," mumbled Naomi. "That's not normal."

    Kay agreed. "Yeah. What's going on with Miho?"

    They would answer these questions later. Right now, their friends needed them.
    Noto Battleground – Spectator's Stands – Afternoon

    Rirko was still shocked about what had transpired. Two injured during a Sensha-do match. All sports carried their risks. However, in this case, it was to the extreme. So extreme, that two people had to seek medical attention, and one of them might be in critical condition.

    His phone buzzed, and he looked. It was Ami.

    "Come down to the tents. Now."

    "F*** me." Swearing to himself, he made his way down to the stands. As he walked, he looked at the back row. Shiho and Maho were nowhere to be found.

    'Where the hell did those two go?' Rirko wondered. He shook off this question. The girls needed to see him. Immediately.
    Noto Battleground – Oarai Main Camp – Afternoon

    When Rirko arrived, the mood was sombre. That went double for Leopon. They were all crying and sniffling. Kii and Risa were doing their best to comfort them. They were all comforting each other.

    The tank commanders took care of their own teams and talked about what happened. How the incident rattled everyone. How Miho risked her life, once again, to save a teammate. Rirko then wondered, where was Anglerfish? Looking around, they weren't outside. Neither was Ami. The only logical place they would be was…inside.

    As Rirko entered, he heard heavy breathing. He saw Anglerfish and Ami surrounding Miho, who was sitting upright. Yukari was there next to her. Saori, Hana and Mako crowded around her, to support. Ami wore a pained expression.

    He was overcome with emotion. Sadness, anger and helplessness. How could Miho so carelessly endanger herself for the sake of another? How did she find the courage to do so? As he looked on Miho, their eyes met. She was still holding onto her chest, with each breath deep and slow.

    Rirko choked on his words. He had to know why she would do such a thing? "Miho…what the hell?"

    As if she knew what he was thinking, she answered him. "I…I had to. Hoshino…needed me."

    "She's being brought to a hospital on the ship," explained Ami. "Listed her as fair condition. Most likely a broken arm and ribs. If Miho wasn't there…it would have been worse."

    Run over, bleeding everywhere or worse: death. Miho was a godsend. But, she too, had her condition. She didn't look right, at all.

    "That's a relief," Rirko said. "But now, I'm concerned what's in front of me." Miho knew she couldn't hide it anymore. The very fact that she collapsed on the battlefield, the panic attack paralyzing her from the head down. This was it. He was going to do it.

    "Call the tank commanders. I want them here."

    "Wait, Mr. Nagasawa!" Saori exclaimed. "Please reconsider!" So, she knew. They all did. All of them knew what was going to happen.

    "Saori! Look at your friend! Is she in any condition to lead the team right now?!" Everyone looked at Miho. Holding onto Yukari's hand, her deep breathing continued with a painful expression. Saori had tears in her eyes and shook her head slowly.

    "I get it! Sensha-do is Miho's thing. Considering her condition, however, she can't compete. What happens if we send her back there and another attack comes in? Can you live with yourself if something happened to either her or one of your friends!? Don't give me that!"

    Saori was looking after Miho's feelings. They all were. They knew that Sensha-do was an essential part of her life. If that was taken away, what would she do?

    "Besides. Everyone saw you on that huge screen. Everyone knows you're in no condition to fight, let alone lead! The officials would disqualify you on the spot for trying to participate! But that's beside the point."

    Miho's heart sank. "Everyone saw? Everyone?" Rirko nodded his head, slowly. 'Everyone saw…including…' The girls all looked at each other. Then, they turned to Miho.

    "Miho," Hana asked gently. "What do you want to do?"

    Trembling, Miho considered her options and her own condition. Her friends were watching out for her, for her sake. Physically speaking, she felt horrible. She was still rattled by what happened to her and Hoshino. She felt scared, depressed and sad because of the whole affair.

    She couldn't handle the guilt if something happened to one of her friends on her watch. She was responsible for their safety. Everyone's safety. To not be at your best was disrespecting to them as they put their trust…their safety on the line.

    She looked at her friends, to Ami, then to Rirko. They all had the same face. The face of worry. They were all worried about her. Miho's eyes filled with tears. Weeping silently, she nodded her head. To say, 'it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop' would be an understatement. Everyone was devastated.

    But everyone knew, it was the right thing to do.

    Ami called all the team commanders together. As they entered the tent, they saw Miho sitting there. Miho felt her chest bursting. Each of the commanders, Caesar, Azusa, Anzu, Noriko, Nekonya, Nakajima, Kii and Risa. When they saw her, they had the same reaction: Sadness.

    Shutting her eyes, she thought they looked at her with pity. A helpless girl who couldn't do anything right. Everyone silent, waiting for Rirko to speak.

    Rirko didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. If he could, he would have given the job to someone else and leave. Leave Oarai. Leave the drama that the Nishizumi inadvertently brought on. But no. He was under professional obligation to do this.

    "I have spoken to the team commander, the Anglerfish Team and Miss Chono about the situation. Miho has performed admirably; saving the life of a teammate while putting herself at personal risk." Nakajima shed some tears.

    "But, as you can all see, assessing her right now, I have concluded that Miho is physically and emotionally unfit to discharge her duties as the captain of Oarai Girl's Academy Sensha-do team. Therefore…it is with a heavy heart...

    That I temporary relieve her of command, until such a time she has demonstrated to me and her peers that she can once again take on the responsibility of leadership."

    At that moment, some of the team captains broke down in tears. Some silently, some loudly. Anglerfish hugged Miho as she wailed loudly. Ami hid her eyes under her cap.

    Rirko felt horrible. He felt like the biggest asshole. But, he had to keep going. He turned to Yukari.

    "Yukari, is there a contingency command in place?'

    She nodded. "Yes, sir."

    "Then may I suggest you follow that to the letter. That's all. We're done here."

    They all stood and looked at Miho. She nodded her head, and everyone slowly exited the tent.

    "Attention all participants! Report to the judge's area immediately. I repeat all participants…"

    "Come on girls. Let's go." Ami directed the girls outside, after a little bit of hesitation and a little push from Miho. "You stay here, Miho. A nurse is on her way to do an assessment and help you any way she can."

    They exited, dejected. Their pillar of strength, the one they looked towards, was gone. Rirko thought he screwed them. He felt guilty.

    "It had to be done." He thought to himself. 'It had to be done. I don't care if she hates me or whatever. I had a professional obligation to do this. She's up shit's creek without a paddle emotionally. Physically too. She's messed up.' He tried to rationalize his actions, and they were all valid. But it didn't make him feel any better. He still felt like an asshole.

    If he was Miho, he would probably hate himself right now. Everything that made her who she was, today, gone in a blink of an eye. Figuring Miho didn't want to be in the same space as him, he turned to leave. Just then, he heard a small cry. He stopped. 'What was that?' The sound came again. Turning around, he saw Miho, reaching out to him, as if to prevent him from leaving. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

    Standing there, like a statue, he didn't know what to think. After a minute, he slowly walked back and sat right beside her. There they sat. The two of them. The roaring of tanks and shouting of commands, all but at a distance. This made Miho heartbroken. She began to cry again.

    Rirko put his hand on her shoulder. Burying herself into his chest, she released everything. Her guilt, her sadness, her pain, her misery. Everything she had held up to that point, overwhelmed her. She couldn't stop her tears from coming; she couldn't prevent her wails from leaving her mouth. All the while, Rirko the one who relieved Miho of command, sat beside her. Comforting her. Silently.
    A/N: Some of you may have a problem with this particular chapter and you know what? I don't blame you. Fair warning that these few chapters will be intense for some but that's how the plot is going to go. Continue with the reviews and favourite if you already haven't done so. Thanks so much for your support!
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Still on the emotional roller coaster. Just letting you know. Also, thank you all for reviewing and PMing, it's been a great font of ideas.
    Noto Battleground -Oarai Main Tent – Afternoon

    When the tank commanders came out, they went to their respective teams and took them some distance away from each other. There was a lull before the shouting began.

    The entire team was in an uproar. Protests and blaming; all sing the sad refrain 'let Miho lead again.' The commanders did their best to explain it to them. On why Rirko had to kick Miho off the team. For the good of her physical and emotional well-being. To keep the team safe from any missed steps on her part.

    For ten minutes, the air was filled with cries of resentment, sadness, confusion. The lynchpin that held the team together was now gone. Some were also concerned about the level of skill Yukari could give as acting captain of the team. The chain of command was explained once again and their obligation: to follow all orders and to respect the chain of command.

    In the end, the judge called for all participants to come back to the centre to discuss if the match can resume. Other officials thought it best to cancel it because what happened, and others still wanted to see it through for the sake of the spectators and participants.

    The team went on their way, grumbling all the while.
    Noto Battleground -Inside Oarai Main Tent – Afternoon

    Rirko took a breath while waiting outside. The nurse arrived to do a physical assessment on Miho. When finished, he took a seat inside of the tent. As expected, she was physically fine. Emotionally, however, was a different story. While the nurse was checking Miho's vitals, he thought about Maho and what her reaction would be if he didn't tell her of the events that unfolded.

    Taking out his phone, composing a new message and setting Maho as the receiver. He wrote a message:

    "Miho has been relieved of duty due to being emotionally compromised. I thought I'd let you know."

    Setting his phone down, he waited for the shitstorm to come in the form of angry voicemails, hysterical yelling and demanding of explanations. Oddly enough, however, it never happened. Ten minutes passed, then thirty? Rirko watched as the nurse asked Miho questions about her health history with her nodding and shaking her head. She didn't do much talking. On the odd time, he caught her taking a glance at him for a brief second before turning her attention back to the nurse.

    After the assessment, the nurse took Rirko aside to speak with him privately.

    Rirko was expecting some sort of bad news. "Well?"

    "I can't find anything wrong physically. Other than her rapid heartbeat and chest pain, she's fairly in good health."

    'I could have told you that. Go on.'

    "She's been through a lot. Saving another student like that while tank shells are exploding everywhere. It's not a scene that anyone should go through, let alone a young girl like her."

    "Yeah."

    The nurse packed up her equipment. "Should anything happen, send one of the volunteers to the nurse's desk. We'll be here in less than five minutes." She bowed and left.

    Miho had calmed down, considerably. There were some sniffles and shaking. One would think she would be happy with her clean bill of health, but considering she was no longer at the helm made her less optimistic. Rirko didn't want to talk to her right now. She needed to make sense of what had happened and what can be done for the future. He got up, Miho shot a glance at him.

    "I'm going to be right outside of the tent. I'll stick around until your friends get back, alright?" He wanted to reassure her that everything will work out. He had his share of crises. But with someone who had gone through the things, she's gone through and still stand. That took a lot of moral courage.

    Accepting the answer, she laid on the cot, turned over and tried to sleep.

    Bringing the chair outside, Rirko rechecked his phone. No answer. 'If she loves her so much, then why isn't she answering?' Putting it away, he stared into the grey sky. The snow had slowed considerably, but it was still snowing. The sun was going down, as well. He was about to take a nap before he saw something in the distance.

    It was a figure, and it was running.
    Noto Battleground – Battlefield – Volunteer Area

    "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T SEE HER?!" Anchovy's voice exploded on the battlefield. Carpaccio and Pepperoni held her back, while she was trying to get at a group of volunteers, blocking their path.

    When the captains and their auxiliaries tried to go to the Oarai tents proper, they were stopped by security. They needed permission from the judges to gain access. However, the judges were dealing with the fallout of the match, so permission was relegated to the head volunteer of the Noto Battlegrounds. He was a stickler for proper rules and protocols and when Darjeeling tried to reason with him, he disrespectfully refused them. It was then Anchovy, who was annoyed by the runaround, snapped.

    The head volunteer spoke, in a stern tone. "Rules are rules. If you're not a participant, you don't have permission to enter! A protocol must be followed!"

    "She's our friend! We have to know if she's okay!" Kay was just as relied up, but she was trying her best to restrain herself. Which was surprising, given her personality.

    "That's right! So, move your ass over or we move right through ya!" Alisa was ready to go as well, but Naomi stopped her.

    "Don't get carried away, stupid. If you do that, then we're all screwed." This fact made Alisa calm down. The volunteer sighed, knowing that he made a blunder by disrespecting them. Hence, all of Anchovy's drama. He tried to back peddle his way out of his predicament.

    "I am sympathetic to your situation, I truly am. But only participants and family members can visit. I can send someone to check up on her. But that's the best I can do. I'm sor-"

    "PEZZO DI MERDA, FIGLIO DI PUTTANA!" Anchovy cried and spat on the ground. Darjeeling and Mika jumped in front of her.

    "Get her out of here!" Darjeeling ordered. She was tired of Anchovy's antics. Carpaccio, Pepperoni, and Orange Pekoe took her away, with Assam standing in between just in case she got free. Darjeeling looked at the volunteer, who shook his head. They were not going to get their audience. Defeated, Kay returned with her girls and joined Mika and Darjeeling.

    "God f***ing damnit." Kay shook her head slowly. Naomi and Alisa came to comfort her. She was frustrated that her friend was in trouble and she couldn't do anything because of red tape.

    Rikka and Aki stood there, watching the entire event unfold.

    "What now?" Aki asked. "We can't see Commander Nishizumi.

    Rikka shrugged. "You're asking the wrong girl."

    Darjeeling thought for a moment. "Any ideas, Assam?"

    Pondering for a bit, she came up with a suitable answer. "We can find out where's she staying and see her then."

    "Agreed. Let's ask the rest of the Oarai girls where she would be staying. Hopefully, we'll be able to see her before they leave."

    They wouldn't be able to see Miho today. But for tomorrow, they resolved to support her in any capacity.

    As they walked back to the main assembly area, in the distance, everyone could hear Anchovy still screaming.
    Noto Battlegrounds – Main Desk – Afternoon

    "Almost half of the spectators are gone, what's the point?"

    "The point is that they must finish the fight!"

    "This is a practice match, not a tournament. If it was a tournament, then I would understand."

    "It's not happening."

    "Yes, it will!"

    The five judges had an animated discussion to restart, continue or postpone the match. Both Pravda and Oarai teams gathered in front. Yukari, Momo and Nonna were there as well.

    Pravda felt sorry about the situation. Although it wasn't intentional, they still thought that they should have kept a better eye on the tank more. If they did, then Hoshino wouldn't have gotten hurt. Oarai held no ill will towards them, however. It was an accident. Pure and simple.

    The judges continued their discussion. Yukari whispered to Nonna. "Where's Katyusha? Should she be here?"

    Nonna was lost in thought. "Nonna?"

    "Yes?" She snapped out of her stupor.

    "Where's Katyusha?"

    "Da., It seems she has run off somewhere. She'll be back." Yukari wondered where she went.

    Just then, Shiho appeared…by herself. She was cross.

    "What are you all doing?" she asked coldly. "Why is this decision taking so long?" Yukari and Nonna looked at Shiho. It was the first time they both laid eyes on her. At once, the boisterous judges were timid.

    "Forgive us, my lady. We're getting the facts straight and we'll-"

    "This is taking far too long," Shiho mumbled. She crossed her arms and thought for a moment. Then, she spoke again. "The match is cancelled. End it. Now."

    Both teams looked at each other. Then, the shouting began.

    "Oarai is entitled to a fight, regardless of what happened."

    "I can't believe this; can she make an arbitrary decision like that?"

    "Our friend got hurt because of this match; it's only right to see it through!"

    "That's bullshit! What's the point of having a match if the decision is forced upon?!"

    Even Pravda had their grievances:

    "Cyka Bylat! We are to finish until the end!"

    "We fight on the battlefield of Sensha-do. How dare you bring your western politics into this!"

    "This is an outrage!"

    "SILENCE!" The teams stopped the chatter immediately. All was silent once again. Shiho's command froze them all in place.

    "Look around! This entire exercise was a waste of time! Are you all so foolish into wasting more of your resources over some trivial outcome?"

    The girls did look. There were only a few people in the bleachers now, and their tanks…most of them anyway were broken and in need of repair.

    "Know when to cut your losses. It is more than tanks you've lost, is there?" She turned to Oarai. "You will have your fight with Pravda again. But not today."

    Shiho did make a good argument. Both teams didn't say anything. She nodded towards the judge. Understanding, she picked up the microphone.

    "Ladies and gentlemen. A decision has been reached. By order of the chair of the Sensha-do Federation, the match has been cancelled. I repeat-"

    The teams shook hands and even hugged each other. Although the match was in Pravda's favour, it was more of a pyrrhic victory. The time Pravda's girls spent with Oarai made them close.

    Yukari met up with Anglerfish, with Nonna in tow.

    "Should we go back to Miporin?"

    Yukari agreed. "I'd like that."

    "We should go get her. The bus leaves in a few hours."

    Hana looked at Nonna. "Where's Miss Katyusha? Is she alright."

    Nonna gave a gentle smile. "I'm sure Katyusha hasn't left the battlefield. Me and the girls will search for her."

    "Tell her we look forward to our rematch," Yukari said, with a smile.

    Nonna only nodded. As she walked towards the Pravda girls, Anglerfish headed towards their main camp. That was, until…

    "You girls. I'd like to speak with you." Anglerfish turned to see a stoic Shiho headed towards them. Freezing in place, they all wondered what she wanted with them.
    Noto Battleground -Oarai's Main Camp – Afternoon

    Maho was running towards the camp. Rirko stood up. Once she saw him, she made a beeline for him. She panted, out of breath.

    Rirko figured what she wanted. It was always the same. Before she said anything, he shushed her and pointed to the tent. Nodding, she peeked in. There was Miho, asleep, exhausted from everything that had happened.

    Rirko offered her his chair. After a minute, she sat down.

    "I saw what happened…and I read what you did." Maho had a hint of sadness in her voice.

    "Do you hate me?" Rirko asked. She shook her head.

    "No. You did what you thought best." Maho started to shutter a little. After a while, she said something. "You know, I wasn't near her when it happened."

    "What happened?"

    "When Miho saved the drowning tank. I only heard about it." Kuromorimine. So, she wasn't even a witness? She just went with whatever was reported? "When I faced her last year, I only heard about her saving one of her team's tank from another river." She chuckled slightly, "even now, I can't help but be proud of her. Her and her selfless heart."

    Rirko saw Maho's face brimming with pride. But, it quickly turned dark and sad. "But when I saw her, on the ground, saving her friend…I…She went to her without any hesitation and tended to her. Then, she collapsed. Holding her chest…in pain…"

    Rirko noticed that Maho's words were beginning to be drawn out. She apparently had trouble talking about it.

    "Are you okay?"

    Only silence. But Maho's non-verbals made it abundantly clear that she was not okay. Downcast eyes, a hand clenched on each leg of her skirt her silence. Of course, he took notice.

    "I will manage."

    "Really?" Rirko asked curiously, pointing at her. "Because, to me, that is not managing."

    Maho didn't hide her feelings well. Rirko had sensed that something was amiss.

    She shook his words off. "That's not important right now. Right now, the only thing I care about is Miho's well-being. In short, I am perfectly fine."

    "You are not fine. You are just as affected by this whole situation as Miho is. With good reason. Your sister almost died out there. There are emotions that you are feeling right now, but you insist on playing the plain doll and not show them."

    She had feelings. She had emotions. But her duties as a Nishizumi didn't afford her that luxury. To show passion is to show weakness. And to prove weakness was to invite defeat. That's what she was taught. To prevail, one must cast out all failings…even if it meant denying one basic human instinct.

    One problem: Maho was at the point of breaking. To deny emotion was to deny one's self entirely. Each day.

    Rirko was undoubtedly direct with her, but in his experience in dealing with Maho, he knew she wouldn't have wanted to 'beat around the bush.' Unfortunately for him, she would not entertain him any longer. "I have nothing more to say to you."

    Rirko scoffed. "It's no wonder you don't care."

    At that moment, something set her off. The accusation that she didn't care. She started to shake in anger and rose from her seat slowly. Maho glared at him, and Rirko stared back. It was a showdown.

    "How dare you…How dare you say that to me! I care about Miho's happiness and well-being! I care about her having a future! I care because no one else will! Why else would I be here?!"

    "Could have fooled me," Rirko shrugged. "If you truly cared, then we wouldn't be in this mess, would we!?"

    "What do you mean!?"

    "If you cared…then you would have said something back then, wouldn't you?"

    He was referring to the time after the Kuromorimine/Pravda match. When Miho got scolded for saving the lives of her tank mates. Maho had the opportunity to say something. But she didn't.

    She was upset that Rirko would have the nerve to call her loyalty into question, just like Miho.

    Rirko crossed his arms. "I know for a fact that you sacrificed your happiness for an outdated ideal. That you would dedicate yourself fully to something, you didn't even want! That after all this time, you would still not understand! To feel is to be human! To not, is to die!" He became filled with passion for Maho's well-being. No longer thinking about the sleeping Miho, his ideals of a healthy lifestyle were on the line. Maho rejected her emotions to be the perfect Nishizumi heir. Like her mother always wanted. He knew she deserved better. But the question was: did she?

    "My happiness…my feelings, are trivial, they mean nothing."

    "Wrong. By saying it's nothing, it invalidates you as a person. So, are you a person? Or just an extension of someone else?"

    "I am my own person. My thoughts and feelings are my own."

    "Really? Then please tell me how, on God's green earth, did you arrive at the conclusion that both you and Miho had to suffer for x number of years for the 'sake of the Nishizumi style'? That doesn't sound like something you'd do freely, huh?"

    "I had no other choice!"

    "You've always had a choice! You said it yourself, your feelings and thoughts are your own. Yet, you let others trample it on the ground and act as if it means nothing to you! We both know it's a total lie."

    "It is not a lie! It's what I truly feel!"

    "And if you think I believe that crap, you must really think me stupid! I've seen the evidence! You're cracking. And there's no way you can hide that no matter how hard you try!"

    She tried to think about a rebuttal, an excuse, anything to make him stop talking. But every time she did, he countered with something so profound that she had no choice but to accept.

    "Anything else, Maho? Why are you stopping? I thought the style taught to never back down? Is your silence an admission of defeat?"

    He then had the nerve to dishonour the family name now. But she knew that he was only baiting her. He wanted her to speak some more. She had enough.

    "Why?" She whispered. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you acting as if you care?"

    She then noticed that Rirko had tears in his eyes. "Because…I DO care! And because you know about a lot more than what you're letting on! I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"

    His words…the words Rirko used just now. Maho gasped in surprise and was reminded of that instance:

    "Why are you getting worked up over this?!"

    "Because I care! Because you know the reason for all of this. I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"
    This is how Miho felt when Maho confronted her about her initial attack? Trapped in a corner, afraid of what would happen if the truth got out? She understood now why Miho couldn't tell her then. It was the same reason that started this entire saga.

    She was scared.

    Exhausted, Maho sat down again. Eyes are looking down, sitting and thinking. Was this what Miho was feeling all this time? Day in and day out, keeping a healthy high school life, being a captain of a national Sensha-do team and trying to be the emotional anchor for everyone? Rirko was just as exhausted. He sat on the snow-covered ground.

    Both studied each other. Maho saw Rirko's eyes were red. But there was something more than that. In his eyes, he saw sadness. Genuine sadness. For her?

    "I'm sorry," he whispered.

    "Why? Because of all the things you said?"

    He nodded. "That. And because of the situation, you're in. Here you are trying to care for your sister. Who's taking care of you?"

    Rirko genuinely wanted to help. If Miho had put her trust in him, then she would do the same. Collecting herself, she began to tell how she felt when the incident occurred.

    "When I saw what happened, I was horrified. Then I turned to mother. She showed no emotion at all! Her daughter was on the ground, writhing in pain, and she felt nothing. Then, she had the audacity to tell me that she was going to deal with the situation on the ground! No mention of Miho, her own daughter!"

    Rirko silently listened to her. She was spilling out her true feelings.

    "She loved us once. Why did she forget? Is the mother I knew even still there? I don't know and quite frankly…I don't even care anymore! I wish…I wish I could just go somewhere far away. To never deal with my mother, my responsibility, my sad life!"

    "But there's something holding you back, isn't there. Someone?"

    She nodded. Both knew who she was referring to.

    "You must hate her."

    Maho sighed. She was going to say something that she never told anyone before. Her true feelings for Miho. "I sacrificed much to make her happy because she makes me happy. I'm angry and sad…because she left me alone. But no…no, I don't hate her."

    "Seeing her smile, seeing Miho live her life the way she wants. Not having to worry about being a Nishizumi heir. How do you feel about that?"

    "… … …I'm jealous. I want that. She has everything I could ever want. If she wants something, she could just reach it and take it."

    "…she's free."

    She sighed heavily, slowly looked at him with tear-filled eyes. Her voice was disjointed. "… …I want that too. I want to be free too."

    Rirko hid his tears from her. What she just said. A young woman trapped by the burden of a matriarch's wish. She thought she would never get that wish. To be free like her sister.

    "Maho. If you want it. Go get it."

    She looked at him, wiping the tears away. "What?"

    "You have the power in yourself to fulfil that wish. Don't wait for someone to come to your rescue. Use your own power to make it happen."

    "I can't. I…can't."

    "You can. Just like your sister, you are both so smart and brave. Forget house and bloodline. Forsake your ordained path built by those before you, if you so wish. Forge yourself a new and better path. Just like your sister."

    Miho had the strength to make her own way. The power that Maho wished for. She didn't realize that power was always within her. All she needed to do, was reach for it.

    Getting up, Rirko dusted himself off. "I'm taking a walk. You're here so it'll be fine. Just let one of the volunteers know if something's up and they'll have a nurse take care of you."

    Maho nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you."

    "Hmm…" Putting his hands in his pockets, Rirko walked away from the main camp. Maho entered to see if Miho was still sleeping. Inside, her back was turned away…but she was shaking. Maho also heard soft sobs.

    Maho was heartbroken, but she expected it. Rirko was practically yelling out there. She sauntered to Miho and knelt beside her. She gently put her hand on her shoulder. At once, Miho put her hand on hers. It was wet.

    "Miho." Both wept for one another.

    But did Miho hear?
    Noto Battlegrounds – Main Desk – Afternoon

    "So, you are the friends that Ami and Maho spoke highly of."

    Shiho stopped Anglerfish while they were heading back to the main tent. Each girl studied the stoic woman. Her arms were cross, and her eyes made them feel she saw right through them. Shiho wanted to see what Miho saw in them.

    Saori refused to be intimidated. "That's right. Miporin is our friend."

    "…Miporin?" 'What kind of a name is 'Miporin'? Is that Miho's nickname?' Shiho raised an eyebrow at the name.

    Hana bowed. "Indeed, Lady Nishizumi. That is the name Saori calls Miho by."

    "Hmm…you are Yuri's daughter, right? Hana?"

    "Yes. I am Hana Izusu, heir to the Izusu lineage. My friends Mako Reizei, Saori Takabe and Yukari Akiyama. They also serve with Miho on the Sensha-do team." They all bowed together not because they wanted to, but because of proper manners.

    Shiho probed a bit more. "Tell me; you girls seem to be smart for your age. Why worry yourself with Miho?"

    Yukari and Saori took offence but didn't show it. There was no question of why they worry on Miho. "Miss Nishizumi is kind, strong and brave. She cares about her team and treats them as equals. If today's any indication, she would risk her life for them."

    Shiho recalled the moment when Miho saved Hoshino's life. A part of her was proud, but the more significant part of her was displeased that she would put herself, and by extension, her team at risk.

    "Miho has helped each and every one of us. We owe it to her." When it came to Miho, Mako was wide awake. There was no mistake; each girl would not be intimidated by Shiho, regardless of her status.

    'Miho. Caregiver, confidant, selflessness, honour.' Shiho could list all the qualities that Miho had. But when compared to the accomplishments of her sister, there was no comparison.

    "Miporin has not only the respect of the team but the other teams as well!"

    "What does that mean?"

    "It means the other schools want to be around her! People follow her faithfully. That's saying something, especially about her leadership skills."

    Miho, the respect of the other teams? She's making friends in all sorts of places. "It's to be expected. She is a Nishizumi after all. Being a strong leader is in her blood."

    "With respect, Lady Nishizumi, it's more than that."

    "Oh?" What meaningless babble is this girl on about?

    Hana could get away with speaking her mind due to her relationship with her mother. But that didn't cross her mind. What did was that Hana wanted to make Shiho see her daughter for more than a Nishizumi heir.

    "When she first arrived in Oarai, she was alone. We met her and gave her a chance to meet others. Not only did she take that chance, but also helped those around her to be confident in their own abilities. Her experience proved invaluable to us. Not only that, she listened to everyone around her and developed new bonds due to her kind and caring personality."

    "What are you trying to say, Hana Isuzu?"

    Hana took a breath. While impudent, she believed in Miho. "What I am saying is that Miho is more than a Nishizumi. She is not only our friend, but everyone she has met can call her a friend. Even her rivals. There so much to her. You, of all people, should know that."

    'What is this idealistic garbage?' Shiho was going to open her mouth about having proper manners, but she glossed through Anglerfish's eyes.

    Each of them held a fierce look, as if ready to attack. They weren't just saying these things, they believed in it. Miho was their friend, and these strong-willed girls would defend her if need be.

    Shiho closed her eyes. "Very well. Let's leave it at that then. Do as you wish."

    "By your leave, Lady Nishizumi." The girls bowed and continued their way, leaving an amazed Shiho to ponder on their loyalty.

    'What does Miho mean to them? Why do they care? They know of the burden they will carry and, yet they will willingly shoulder it. Is this the result of her style? What is it that you did, Miho?'
    "Wow, Hana! Good thing you know about proper customs!" Saori praised her for keeping composure against an intimidating Shiho.

    "Mother taught me at a young age how to act," was Hana's reply. "Especially when meeting family heads."

    "Still, she angers me," Saori admitted. "I can see why nobody doesn't like her. She treats everyone coldly."

    "But it was her first time meeting us," Yukari countered. "That might not be the true her."

    "Worry about that later. Let go to Miho first." Surprisingly, Mako powerwalked ahead.

    Saori shook her head. "How come she can't be like this when going to school?"
    Uploader's Note: This is a long chapter, so I'm going to be splitting this into two parts. Part two of this chapter will be posted soon. Please wait warmly.
     
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    • Restoring Hope (Part II)
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    • Uploader's Note: Here is the second part of the chapter. Enjoy.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Noto Battleground - Oarai's Main Camp – Afternoon

    When Anglerfish arrived, Rirko was nowhere to be found. Just then, Maho exited the tent, a bit stunned to see them there. She wiped some tears away from her face.

    'Was she crying?' wondered Yukari. Maho went to them.

    "It is good to see you, Miss Nishizumi." Yukari greeted her. She nodded her head.

    "Thank you for taking care of Miho in my absence," Maho bowed. "It means a lot to me."

    "She means a lot to us," Saori replied. "So, of course, we're going to help!"

    Hana agreed. "Did you speak with your sister?"

    Anglerfish thought that Maho flinched a little. "Y-yes. She's doing alright. Are you here to escort her back?"

    The girls nodded. "Then I'll be on my way then."

    "Do you want to travel back with us," asked Mako. She sensed something was off.

    "I travelled with my mother, so I have to get back. I wanted to check up on my sister is all. Take care." Bowing, she took her leave. Anglerfish looked at the tent. Total silence.

    "Are we going to be okay?" Mako wondered out loud. The rest of the girls had the same thought.

    Saori smiled at her. "So long as we have each other." Pledging themselves to each other, they entered the tent. They saw a smiling, silent Miho greeting them. Her eyes were gleaming.
    Noto Battleground – Open Field – Early Evening

    Rirko took in the brisk air. The sun was going down. Soon, he would have to go back to the bus and travel again.

    "The mood will surely be sombre. They'll need support from this trying time." But inside, he feared that the girls would have hard feelings over Miho's suspension from duty. They weren't exactly happy when the commanders told them the news. "So, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

    The silence was broken by a sound. Someone crying? They were soft. "Now, where's that coming from?" Tuning his ear to the sound, he wandered the field until he came upon a hill overseeing the battlefield. It was Katyusha, still in her Sensha-do uniform, weeping softly.

    'First Miho, then Maho and now Katyusha?! Are you serious right now?' Rirko could have just left her. But then again, seeing someone by themselves crying was just sad. "Goddamn it!" He slowly approached her. When Katyusha heard the footsteps, she quickly wiped her tears away.

    "Captain?"

    "W-What are you doing here? D-didn't you hear that the match was cancelled? W-we won, of course."

    "Playing the tough girl act, how cute. Come on; you're not fooling me."

    Katyusha's face turned from haughty and arrogant to pure sadness. Sighing, she couched again, tears streaming still.

    "Can I join you?" Katyusha said nothing. Rirko sat next to her.

    "Can I join you?" Katyusha said nothing. Rirko sat next to her.

    "What are you doing here on your own? Truthfully now."

    Silent for a moment, she answered. "I hurt."

    "I hurt?"

    "I hurt someone."

    She explained during that match; she was engaged with Leopon and Duck in her flag tank. When Duck got knocked out, and Leopon disabled she moved in for the kill. She ordered suppression shots near Leopon to pin them down. The gunner tried to tell Katyusha that there was someone there. But she wouldn't listen. She forced her to fire threat of banishment. So, the gunner shot, knowing that Hoshino was there. When the signal flare went up, the attacks stopped. The paramedics and chopper came, and that's when she realized she had erred in her judgement.

    Not being able to face Anglerfish, as well as her own team, she ran away. Wandering the battlefield for the rest of the afternoon., she stopped by a hill to make sense of it all.

    Finishing her story, she became quiet once again. Rirko understood that her order caused unnecessary harm to someone because she wanted to win.

    "So. What now?"

    The girl shook her head. "I don't know. I just…DON'T KNOW!" At once, she started to pound the ground with her fists, screaming out of frustration.

    Rirko stood silent. To say something would be foolish; she wouldn't have heard him anyway. This happened for another minute before she calmed down. Exhausted by the extra effort, she became silent again.

    "Why don't you just go talk to them?"

    "Are you mad?! How can I face them? I harmed somebody because I ordered the gunner to shoot!"

    "Well, staying out here in the cold isn't going to solve anything. Unless you can turn back time, the only way out is to move forward."

    She scoffed. "Now you sound like that damned Nishizumi!" The sun was setting. Soon, it would be dark.

    "Are you perfect, Katyusha?"

    "What?"

    "I asked if you were perfect?"

    "Of c-course I am! I am-" Just when she was able to finish the sentence, Rirko shot a look of 'stop bullshitting me, seriously.' She quieted down.

    "No…"

    "So, obviously like the rest of the world, you make mistakes."

    "…"

    "Doesn't mean you're a bad person. You ordered the shot and hurt someone. That happened. Learn from it and move on."

    "But-"

    "And if you decide to admit you made a mistake and you're sorry for both Oarai and your team. When people own up to their mistakes, you may feel a little bit embarrassed. But, they'll respect you more."

    "You don't know that'll actually happen. I just hurt Oarai's friend. Wouldn't they want to kill me first?"

    "Will Oarai or your team be beating you with sticks?"

    "N-no?"

    "And what are the chances of you being killed by them?"

    "None…"

    "Then stop complaining about it then. First to your team and then to Oarai. If you make amends, your teammates will see you as more than a Sensha-do commander. They'll see someone that has integrity, courage and honour. They'll see someone who they can count on. When you apologize …that's up to you. But I'd do it sooner than later."

    Katyusha liked the idea of being respected. But, that meant being humble first. "I hate admitting I'm wrong…I'm never wrong… B-But, if I have no choice…"

    "You don't." Rirko pointed to the flat battlefield. Nonna, with the rest of her team, was headed this way.

    "Have fun!" He quickly got up and waved and prepared to leave.

    "W-wait! Please!" Turning to her, he found she had tears in her eyes again. "I can't face them. Not alone. So…p-please?"

    'Oh, come the f*** on!' He just wanted to leave. But she was looking at him with longing eyes.

    "Damn, I can't say no to that face. Come on." He outstretched his hand to help her up. Hesitating for a bit, she eventually grabbed it.

    "Uh…" Rirko tried to let go…but she didn't. "Seriously?"

    She shrugged. "Nonna does it."

    When Nonna and the team were in view, Katyusha was with Rirko holding his hand. Nonna smirked.

    'Shut the hell up, Nonna.' It would have been nice to say. But he just sighed to be nice.

    The team was waiting for their 'leader' to blame the gunner for the incident. Everyone waited for blame to be shifted to either one person or the team. Fearing for retribution from their commander, they prepared for the worst. However, everyone's focus on Katyusha tightened when she said three words:

    "It's my fault." Most of the team members did a double take.

    "Did she really just say that?"

    "Who's she and what did she do to the commander?"

    "This isn't normal; she would be saying it's our fault."

    "What the hell is going on?"

    "Shut up; she's talking!"

    Even Nonna stared at Katyusha for a while. She was still holding Rirko's hand hard when she started to speak again.

    "I ordered my gunner to fire, even though there was someone on the field. I didn't listen. Because of that, someone got hurt. And for that…I'm…I'm sorry. I-I dragged you all into this mess, and I w-wouldn't be surprised if you demanded my resignation. B-But, before you now…I…I… t-take full responsibility for what happened. The fault solely falls upon me."

    Everyone just stared at her. They stared for so long; it made Katyusha uncomfortable.

    "W-Well, that's it! I-I'm done." She waited for the shouts, the riots, the chaos to begin. But it never came. What did happen, was clapping? It came from someone from the back of the group. Then there was two, then four and soon, the entire team was clapping.

    "This is the first time the commander said something responsibly!"

    "She usually blames us for this. Wow, I didn't think she had it in her!"

    "If she's going to be like that from now on, I like it!"

    "Let's give her another chance. It was an accident."

    "I agree. Let's just move on from this."

    Nonna gave a grin while Katyusha released Rirko's hand and joined her second. She looked up at her.

    "S-Stop smiling! It's not funny!"

    "I never said it was funny. I'm very proud of you, Katyusha!"

    "R-Really? Seriously?!"

    As Nonna nodded and Katyusha gleamed, Rirko looked at his watch. "Crap! The bus is leaving soon!" He made a mad dash to the assembly area. As he ran, he considered taking his own advice. To take responsibility for what happened and move on.

    When he arrived, the entire team was assembled there, waiting for him. As he suspected, the mood was sombre. Ami went up to him.

    "They're all waiting for you. I think you know why."

    Rirko sighed. "It never ends, does it." He walked over to the front of them, all eyes traced on him.

    'Let's do this.' Clearing his throat, he began. "Alright, let's address the huge elephant in the room. I suspended Miho from Sensha-do, we all know." At that statement, some of the team members looked with uncertainty. Some of them gazed with anger.

    "The reason why? It was not only a professional obligation but for her own good. The team commanders can attest to this. One's mental state can affect them physically. So, you tell me: is it fair to push someone who's physically and emotionally suffering and have them take the mantle of leadership?"

    Some of their faces softened. To force Miho into a leadership role while vulnerable. That didn't seem fair. They began to whisper.

    "We all know how strong Miho can be. But everyone and I mean everyone, has a breaking point. She's not some robot that can go to the mechanics for maintenance when broken. She's a human being, your friend! And I won't, in good conscience, pretend that everything is okay with her. Because it's not! You girls shouldn't push her into a position where she is obligated to lead you. If you want a leader, look in a mirror. That's what she's been trying to do with all of you!"

    The main problem was overreliance. They depended on Miho a bit too much. If Miho was gone, then the strategy would fall apart. That's why she had the team commanders help her come up with a strategy for the matches. It was an effort to have them think for themselves. She even said it in the beginning. Miho identified this weakness and tried to work on it. Murmurs of agreement started to swirl.

    "Support her and Anglerfish. They're going through a lot right now. A few nice words, gestures of goodwill, it goes a long way. As for me, I will support her in my own way. Even if it means taking away the thing she loves for a while. Even if it makes some of you being upset. I will do whatever it takes to help her. Because that's what I would do for every one of you!"

    Ending, Rirko waited for their response. Anglerfish was walking towards the bus in the distance. They were holding each other's hand. When in view, the teams started to cheer and applause. They stopped, touched by the support. Miho shed some tears of joy while Anglerfish looked on with approval. Sensing that the team accepted his piece, Rirko got on the bus by himself. Ami followed afterwards.

    "Good speech," Ami said, sitting down. "That must have been nerve-racking."

    "Yeah. It was. But I had help figuring stuff out." He was thankful. If Katyusha wasn't there, he wouldn't have known what to do.

    The team started to pile into the bus. As they pasted Rirko, some of them gave a short nod before taking a seat. His words, it seemed, reached some of them. Others simply walked past. He didn't mind, though. He knew he couldn't make everyone happy.

    Anglerfish took their seats, right behind Rirko and Ami. As the bus roared to life and charted a course back to the hotel, Rirko traced his eyes forward. While fulfilling his professional obligation, he still felt terrible about suspending Miho.

    The entire trip was mostly silent. Exhausted from the day, some of the girls slept on the bus. Anglerfish didn't say a word to anyone. They were all thinking about what happened. Pulling up to the hotel, the entire team piled out, back into their rooms. Tomorrow afternoon, they would be departing to Oarai. Each group was assigned their own room. That night, everyone had an opinion.
    Leopon Team – Hotel – Evening

    The three remaining members of Leopon Team had felt they've been on an emotional roller-coaster that ended up crashing in a burning mountain of tires.

    "This is the worst day of my life," Suzuki sighed, sipping on some water. Hoshino was on Oarai, in a hospital bed, with broken bones and no idea when she would be discharged.

    Tsuchiya looked at the window, seeing the starry sky. The snow clouds already cleared up. "Did you hear about Hoshino at all."

    "Nothing," Nakajima replied, looking at her phone. "I called her family in Oarai letting them know what's going on. They said they would contact me as soon as they heard any word."

    Usually, they would be talking about the new model of cars, the F1 Grand Prix or making plans on the next road trip. But not tonight. They were one member short. It was an emptiness they never felt before. And it felt horrible.

    "If Miho wasn't there, it would have been worst." Suzki and Nakajima turned to Tsuchiya. She looked depressed. They went to her. "We gotta make it up to her."

    "Well, we can't do that because she's not involved in Sensha-do anymore." Suzuki sounded angry. "Mr. Nagasawa saw to that."

    "But Miho looked like total crap. She couldn't lead, even if she wanted to. I saw how she was." Nakajima had to get the fact straight. It wasn't right for the girls to falsely accuse someone like that. "Besides, being 'suspended' is broad for me. Suspended from 'what' exactly?"

    Suzuki had a sceptical look. "You're not defending him, are you?"

    "I'm just saying?" The room was silent once again. Hoshino and Miho were on their minds.

    Nakajima wondered about their team's future. "What's going to happen to us? We're one crew person short."

    "I'm pretty sure something will be figured out." Although Suzuki said those words, she didn't know if she could believe them.
    Anteater Team – Hotel – Evening

    Nekonya and Momoga were lying on their beds while Piyotan was sitting on a chair. The room was silent but in-game, they were speaking through text.

    Momoga – So, Nagasawa put the ban hammer on our guild leader

    Piyotan – Maybe only a temp ban? Can't be perma.

    Momoga – Was that necessary? I mean, come on!

    Nekonya – She didn't look right. He also was regretting it. I mean, if one of my guildies under-levelled, I wouldn't want them going on a suicide mission

    Momoga – Well, regardless, without her at the helm, how long will Oarai stay on top

    Nekonya – You don't believe in Yukari? Miho trained her personally

    Piyotan – We just gotta believe everything will work out

    Nekonya – Yeah, believe. We 'believed' we could beat an army of enemy heavy tanks and look what happened

    Momoga – Got blown back, lol

    Piyotan – **** you two!

    Nekonya – No swearing, remember :)

    Piyotan - **** NA servers. So, pansy

    Momoga – There are fewer people here, so that's good

    Nekonya – But then the battlefield is a less exciting place. Just like IRL.

    Piyotan – You had to go there? Come on. Optimism. O-P-T-I-

    Nekonya – I can read *******

    Piyotan – No swearing :p

    Even though no words were said. They felt comfortable holding a conversation like that. After all, they were gamers foremost.
    Mallard / Platypus / Turtle / Tortoise – Hotel – Evening

    Mallard and Turtle were spending time with their protégé teams. Kii and Risa wanted to talk to the members about the whole situation. Momo and Yuzu were keeping busy, preparing for the tournament that was to happen in a few months time.

    Momo looked at the window. "So, he finally did it, huh?" She shook her head slowly. "We're f***ed; we are f***ed."

    "We're not dead yet," Risa pointed out while sitting with Rabbit watching a western movie. "So, why act as if we are?"

    "Do you truly believe that we can last without Miho?" Momo asked. She apparently, didn't have any faith in Yukari's skill. As a leader or strategist, at least.

    "You can help her you know." Anzu shoved a handful of potato chips and drank some soda. "After all, Miho did tap you as a contingency field leader."

    "Yeah…I-I guess."

    Yuzu stopped looking at her pile of paperwork. "We need to support Anglerfish and Miho. Mr. Nagasawa did have a point. We relied on Miho too much."

    Momo shot a glare at Yuzu. "I don't want to hear that name here again."

    "How come?" Risa asked. "You know, he's just doing a job. You're gonna be hating on him for doing a job?"

    "It's because of him; we're in this mess!"

    "He cares about people. Can you blame him for doing that? Kadotani-sempai, how was Nishizumi-sempai?"

    Anzu had a solemn look on her face. "She didn't look good. I don't blame him. Momo lay off."

    Still angry, she didn't want to upset Anzu. "Y-Yes, madam president."

    Kii had enough of Momo pessimism. "Kawashima-sempai. With respect. If we believe we have failed already…then, we will fail. Any problem…any adversity, we face it head-on. That's what this team has taught me."

    "I agree!" Azusa said, no longer interested in the movie. "Either we win big, or we go down trying!"

    "There's no fault in trying!" Ayumi added.

    "Go big or go home! Go big or go home!" Karina said excitedly.

    "ALRIGHT! I GET IT!" Momo let out a big sigh. "I'm sorry, it's just…being in this situation again…It just brings back bad memories, okay?"

    Everyone knew what she was referring to. When Oarai was on the chopping block for decommissioning. The Student Council had to face a corrupt official and forced the school to play his game. Even though they won in the end, the threat was still there as long as he worked at MEXT.

    "There's one difference, though," Yuki pipped up.

    "What's that," Yumisa asked. Her bright eyes looked up at Yuki with curiosity.

    "We have Nishizumi-sempai!" Ichiho pointed out, in a small voice. "So long she's there with us. In a tank or not…"

    "We'll be fine." Maki was initially annoyed by Momo's gloomy outlook. But after listening, she understood why. "We just got to believe that'll work out. With ourselves and each other."

    Emika winked. "Great optimism. I think we're good to go!"

    "Okay, enough chatter, we're getting to the good part!" The entirety of Rabbit swivelled their heads to the television. Platypus and Tortoise joined them. Turtle continued with their work.

    Meanwhile, Mallard, who didn't contribute anything to the conversation, followed up on the situation in Oarai and were working on compiling a report. They would have a lot to do when they got home.

    Only a third of the students remained in Oarai due to various reasons. The moral committee (who were operating on a skeleton crew) were up in delinquents, the committees' members that the Student Council appointed to run day-to-day operations were at each other's throats over resources and the construction of the school was not moving due to a company strike over wages.

    Of course, they knew well NOT to say anything. At least, while Momo was in the room.
    Hippo – Duck – Hotel Fitness Room- Evening

    Hippo and Duck were spending time in the fitness room. While the members of Duck worked on the machines, Saemonza brought two kendo sticks for swordfight training.

    Taeko and Shinobu were on the treadmills, Noriko and Akebi were doing exercise reps while Caesar and Saemonza prepared for their match. Erwin and Oryo watched on.

    Saemonza was teaching Caesar proper Kendo techniques, and in exchange, Caesar would teach Saemonza basic Roman historical strategies. Duck finished up their exercises, just about Saemonza was finishing up her sparring match.

    "STRIKE!" Erwin yelled. "AND POINT! THE WINNER…SAEMONZA!" Although they weren't participating in kendo, they had practice enough to stop when the stick was about to strike the body; thereby it would be called a strike. Caesar dropped the stick, wiping her face with a face cloth. Saemonza drank a bottle of water.

    "Getting better, Ceasar!" Saemonza smirked. "Just keep up with defences a bit more. I'll teach you some more advanced stuff next!"

    "Looking forward to it!" Caesar appreciated her friend teaching her how to fight using Kendo. It was good to learn something new. Duck team applauded.

    "Well done!" Noriko cried.
    Taeko agreed. "Just as exciting as a volleyball nationals match."

    "Well maybe not." Shinobu had a difference of opinion. She was a hardcore, volleyball nationals fan.

    Akebi grinned. "Let them have it, Shinobu. Come on."

    The girls sat around the open space. There was no one else in the fitness room. They had the entire place to themselves.

    "So quiet…" Oryo pointed out. "Where's everyone else?"

    "Probably talking about what happened," Noriko said glumly. "Everything went so crazy after Hoshino got hurt."

    Erwin agreed. "And Miho…poor Miho."

    Caesar didn't want to think about Miho. When she saw her on the cot, shaking and breathing heavily, it made her want to cry. "I…I don't want to think about that."

    Saemonza got it. "Must be tough, huh?" She nodded.

    "Is it any wonder that Nagasawa did what he did?" Noriko asked the group while handing another bottle of water to Akebi. She accepted it, gratefully.

    "The consensus is that he was wrong to bench Miho. But when he talked about the reason 'why'? Most teachers don't tell us the reason and just have us accept it blindly."

    Oryo nodded her head. "But he's different. Maybe because he's from another country where you have to explain your reasoning?"

    "I like it." Caesar reflected on Rirko's words when he told them about relieving Miho of duty. "He took responsibility for it and did it for her own good."

    "But the question is…what now?" Saemonza asked. Everyone wondered the same thing.

    "Well, whatever we do. We have to be supportive and decisive!" Noriko got up, putting her determination on. "Miho got guts for saving Hoshino! We have to have her back!"

    "YEAH!"

    "Yeah…" Oryo reflected, "like –" Duck team suddenly groaned.

    "Not again. Please-"

    "Yoshimoto's contribution to the Battle of Okehazama!"

    Erwin continued, "Or the allied forces on D-Day in WWII."

    "Or the Battle of Pharsalus in Rome's Civil War." Caesar finished.

    "THAT'S IT!"

    Noriko just sighed while Duck watched in amazement. "I hate it when they do that."
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Lobby – Evening

    Rirko, with a bottled apple juice in hand and some comfortable clothing, sat around in the lobby. Sitting close to where he was this morning, he taught about the events that unfolded. What should have been a standard match between two schools ended with one hospitalized student, one student who was suspended from Sensha-do due to emotional issues, a family member dealing with the exact same problem but at a higher scale and a self-conscious commander who had pushed the blame on everyone else.

    He laughed at the irony of it all. Initially, he thought the trip would be a relaxing way to get to know the Sensha-do team. It was funny how the opposite happened on a much larger scale. He had already packed his stuff, so tomorrow afternoon he would just wheel out his belongings and load them up. Ami had already made her way to her room, possibly to relax.

    "One more night and we're heading back. Might as well make the best of it." Closing his eyes, he let his mind dump all the negativity of the day. The sun was setting, and the fire was warm.
    Nanao - Matsuno Midori – Evening

    Maho, once again, travelled alone from Noto Island to Matsuno Midori. Exhausted from today, she had expected to give a full-detailed report to her mother on what she did during the time they were separated.

    When Shiho told Maho she was taking care of the situation caused by accident, Maho was livid but, of course, didn't show it. Maho did her best to contain the chaos by relaying information between volunteers and spectators, directing them to various exit points. Afterwards, Shiho and Maho spoke when things died down.

    "You want to do what?" Shiho asked, in surprise.

    "I want to see Miho, mother."

    "And may I ask, why?"

    Stupid…Inconsiderate… "We both know the reason why."

    "Hmm…" Shiho thought for a moment. 'Probably concerned about Miho's safety. She did save that girl's life. Maho, you never change.' "Very well. Be sure to return to the hotel by evening."

    "Yes, mother."

    "I'll have an escort ready for you after you are done with your business here. But be quick. There's planning that needs to be done for the tournament, I want you, and Kuromorimine prepared. Understood?"

    "…yes. I understand."

    "Good." As Shiho walked off, Maho felt nothing but contempt due to her disregard for her sister. Her daughter.

    'How dare she disrespect Miho's life.'

    Reflecting on the thoughts and feelings, Rirko's suggestion of divergence sounded more appealing. Taking the elevator up to the penthouse, she thought about what she was going to say and explain why it took her so long.

    'I hadn't seen Miho in a while, so we were catching up? No. Strategies for Sensha-do? It shouldn't take that long. Were we planning a joint match with some of the other teams? Possible? I must throw her off somehow. But, does she already know? I wouldn't put it past her.'

    Reaching the floor, Maho took a breath and entered the room. No one. Where was Shiho? There was a note on the table:

    "Something came up. I will meet you back at home."

    "Something came up?" Maho wondered what that meant. Usually, Shiho was good with detailing her plans for the time. However, in this case, it was strange that she would leave so suddenly. Where would she stay for the night? Did she have to worry?

    "So, I guess the report can wait?"

    She waited around for a few minutes before deciding to type up the report instead.
    Anglerfish – Hotel – Evening

    When evening came, everyone was tired. Hana, Saori and Mako hanged around Yukari and Miho's room and just…talked. Various topics. Boys, school, life, future, anything. They brought some Russian snacks and had that for dinner. The hours passed, and the girls found themselves getting ready for bed.

    Hana, Saori and Mako prepared to leave. "Will you be alright, Miporin?"

    Miho nodded. "I will. Yukari's with me. I'll let her know if anything is up. I promise."

    "Good," Hana smiled. "And we gave you our room number already so knock whenever, okay?"

    "Got it."

    Mako yawned loudly. "Good night, Miho." The girls waved goodbye and closed the door. It was only Yukari and Miho now.

    "Yukari?"

    "Yes, Miss Nishizumi?"

    "Thank you for always being there for me. I don't say it enough."

    Yukari blushed. "M-Miss Nishizumi. It's a p-pleasure. Believe me."

    Miho laid on her bed. "When that thing with Hoshino happened. I did feel like I was going to die. I was so scared."

    Yukari sat beside her. "I can imagine."

    "But when those paramedics came. I relaxed, and I felt a little better. So…"

    "It's not a physical condition…is it?" Miho shook her head.

    "Mr Nagasawa was right. It has to do with how I feel and what's been going on around me."

    Yukari couldn't help but ask Miho. "Do you hate him for suspending you?"

    Miho was very silent on this question. She shed a few tears before answering. "I know he was only looking out for me. He cares about me and how I feel. That's his job. So why? Why do I feel this way?"

    The fact of the matter was that Miho was upset with him. He had taken her only interest and shut her out from it. Who was she without Sensha-do? What would she do in the meanwhile?

    Yukari could only see the turmoil on Miho's face. She took her hand.

    "He must be hurting too. As you said, he cares about you. Him doing this…it means he wants to take care of whatever is happening before you move on."

    "Take care of what?"

    "That's up to you and him to decide. When I was with my cousin, my aunt said it was important to talk about your problems. And when you talk to someone who knows their stuff, things for you get clearer. You start to understand and take steps to move on."

    "So…will the answers come if I still talk to him?"

    "You will always have us and the rest of the team. But, I think that if you truly want to know the truth about what's going on in you…you have to trust him."

    Miho reflected on Yukari's words. She was upset but sympathetic to Rirko's situation. Maybe, because of the fact she had been the staple of Oarai Girl's Academy, the no-name school that won the Nationals. She was a heroine, someone dependable. But now, that was taken away.

    Who was she?

    Yukari and Miho got ready for bed. It was their last day before leaving for Oarai. As Miho laid under the covers, Yukari watched over her.

    "Miss Nishizumi, everything will be fine. You have to believe that."

    "Okay…Okay…" Yukari was there. Her friends were near. Her team loved and shed tears for her. Her teachers, especially Rirko, cared for their well-being. And now, she knew that her sister loved her dearly. She was not alone, nor would she ever be.

    But, did she truly believe that?
    A/N: Feel free to let me know what you think about this chapter. Thank you for your support! It's been great!
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Drama is over for now. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Also, if there are any artists out there let me know. I'd like to make a fan art for this story. It would be really great!
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Lobby – Morning

    The majority of Oarai's students were assembling to the town's square. Unlike the Sensha-do team, they were participating in the closing ceremony of the Winter Festival and would be departing right after. The team had a leave of absence, as they joined in the match. The Student Council thought that due to their efforts, they should at least get some time for some R&R. Afterwards, they would depart from the hotel in the afternoon.

    There was no drama for Anglerfish last night. Miho slept well and greeted the other girls at roughly the same time they all went for breakfast. However, during breakfast, word got around about Yukari holding a meeting for the team commanders to discuss something.

    Rirko and Ami didn't have breakfast at the hotel. They decided to have breakfast at a local café. As the sun rose on the town, they sat waiting for their order. Both are sipping on their coffee, they both noticed students slowly starting to trickle out of the hotel and form up into classes.

    "Lot of students going to the closing event," Rirko noted as he drank his coffee. He was still groggy, after yesterday. It was a trying time, and he didn't get much sleep. Most of it was worrying about the relationship between him and the Sensha-do Team.

    "Well, it's almost the entire school. As soon as the ceremony's over, they'll be heading back to Oarai."

    "Right. Meanwhile, we're chaperoning the team here until the afternoon, yeah?" Ami nodded while taking a sip of her black coffee. Rirko put some cream and sugar in his.

    "You don't take it black?"

    "No. Why?"

    "You get a more of a kick if you take it black. Putting all that cream and sugar dilutes the effectiveness."

    "Did you know it takes about twenty minutes for the caffeine to hit?"

    "Really? Didn't know that."

    "I know it's bad, but I'd rather have an energy drink than take coffee if I need an extra boost."

    "Won't you crash in the afternoon?"

    "Depending what you're doing on that day."

    Their food came. Ami had a traditional Japanese breakfast. Grilled salmon with rice and miso soup. For Rirko, scrambled eggs and bacon with some toast.

    "Is that what western eat for breakfast?"

    Rirko nodded. "It's a bit of a luxury. Sometimes, I don't even have time for breakfast. I'm busy hauling ass to schools for that day."

    "So, you go to other schools? For what?"

    "Meh, supply work. But that was before. As soon as I get back, I'll be back on the job hunt."

    Rirko began to eat his breakfast. Ami just looked at him and was wondering about his career before coming to Japan.

    "You didn't have a permanent job before?"

    "Kinda. The work came in every day so you could call it a full time. Even though it was on-call, I still had to travel constantly to other locations in the city. Sometimes, I was there for long periods of time. From weeks to months."

    "Kind of what we got here." Ami blew on her soup. "But our teachers don't seem to get sick as much, so we don't see supplies here. Especially, male staff."

    "That's considering you're on a carrier school ship and all of the faculty are female staff. It's like being on a ship of the Valkyries."

    "Valkyries?" Ami was confused by the Norse Mythology reference.

    "Long story. It means that most of the population are female. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

    Ami smiled. "I get it. It was the same in Kuromorimine. Although, the staff were a lot stricter. Due to high expectations of a traditional Sensha-do school."

    "I can imagine." Truthfully, Rirko didn't want to talk about anything Sensha-do related. Mainly because of the drama that unfolded yesterday. However, he didn't want to be rude. As the pair ate, some of the students saw Ami and waved while they were heading out. The streets of Notojima have filled once again with people heading over to their jobs and other places.

    The café started to fill up with regular patrons. Soon, a sizable amount of people took their place either outside to take in the cold, morning air or inside to be snug and warm. As soon as Ami was done, she looked thoughtfully at Rirko.

    "What?"

    "I just…"

    "Okay, what's up?"

    She sighed. "If I were you, I wouldn't want to talk about it. But, it's from yesterday."

    "Yeah?"

    "How did things go? With Miho, I mean? And, did anything else happen? I mean, I was with the team when the match ended. Shiho made the call as the Federation chairperson, to end the match in a draw."

    'Shiho did that? Holy shit!' That surprised Rirko, as he thought the judges were the ones who cancelled the match. He pondered on her words and thought it would be best to share everything.

    "Well, Miho calmed down considerably. She rested afterwards. A few minutes later, guess who dropped by?"

    Ami finished drinking her coffee. "Maho?"

    "Yeah."

    "No surprise. Considering what happened to Miho, she would have every right to worry."

    "That's not all…" Rirko started to think how to word the entire situation. How she expressed herself to him…her real self.

    "What is it? If you're that silent, then I can think that things didn't end up so good."

    "Huh…how to put this? The mask…it broke."

    "The mask? Broke? What do you mean?"

    "She showed me…what she truly felt."

    It took Ami to process the information. Then, she understood. "Oh my God. So, stoic face Maho talked to you? Not formally, but a person?"

    "It took some…prodding. I had to get Maho riled up. I thought at the time she still doesn't trust me. But I hope that all doubts are gone now."

    "What did she say?"

    "Well,…things got real. I'm not going to go into the details." Even though Maho wasn't Rirko's responsibility, what she said was with confidence. To maintain that trust, he couldn't tell Ami. "Let's just say that both her and Miho are in the same boat."

    "…I get it. Both sisters had their share of Shiho's teaching methods. I'm surprised that Maho lasted this long and is still going. Just a testament to her own strong will."

    "She is a remarkable young lady. But she has her own sets of issues she will need to work out in the future. Otherwise, it will affect her in the long run."

    "Thanks."

    "For what? For telling you?"

    "No. Miho and Maho. Knowing Miho from last year and Maho from back in the day, I think that they worked hard to get where they are. But there are times when I'm frustrated with them because they don't express themselves. But with you? You challenge them to do just that. Even after they won't talk to you. Even after they don't want to talk about anything because it hurts. You don't give up on them, even when they give up on themselves."

    Ami's words were encouraging. Rirko thought himself a failure for taking Miho's passion away.

    "Your words are comforting, Ami. Thanks. I needed that."

    "I can see that you do. Even when the shit hits the fan, I'll be there to support you. Because you make it a priority to help these girls in any way possible. Remember that."

    "I know, I know." Rirko smiled at her gently. With Ami's words, it made his job a whole lot more meaningful.

    The pair finished up, paid the bill, and headed to the hotel. The last of the students trickled out of the lobby when they arrived. However, the two were both met by Mallard Team.

    "Mr. Nagasawa. Miss Chono." Sodoko bowed, with her teammates.

    "Good morning, Sodoko," Ami greeted. "What's going on?"

    "Yukari has called a meeting with the other tank commanders to discuss the future of the team. She requests your presence."

    Ami looked at her watch. "I actually have a meeting with a Sensha-do Federation representative this morning. I won't be able to attend. However…"

    "I get the message." Rirko nodded to Ami. "Where will it be held?"

    "One of the meeting rooms. The Student Council was able to get one, free of charge."

    "Good for them. Just point me in the right direction."

    Sodoko pointed towards the elevators, where there was a hallway. As Rirko headed there, Ami could only imagine what it could be referring to.

    'I hope things don't get from bad to worse.' Looking at her watch, she walked to her room to prepare herself for the meeting.
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Conference Room – Morning

    When Rirko arrived, the door was closed. He already knew what it was about. But it didn't make it any easier.

    'Just another day. Just another day.' He thought it just another day, but it was a nerve-wracking one. When he dismissed Miho, and he explained himself yesterday, he felt the girls were going to attack him. They were loyal, all right, but got their priorities mixed up.

    'They should be concerned more about their friend. Not about how they're going to perform. What, they just don't have faith in Yukari?' Sighing, he put on his best stoic look and entered.

    When he entered, the team commanders, Miho and Yukari included, with Momo, Yuzu with Anzu, stared at him. He gave a short nod, then took his seat at the back. Crossing his arms, he waited for the meeting to begin.

    Yukari was confused. Typically, a teacher would have a place in the front. But he decided to stick to the back? This confused the others as well. "Um. Good morning, Mr. Nagasawa."

    "Yukari."

    "Would you like to sit at the front? You don't have to sit back there."

    Rirko squinted his eyes. "Sit, at the front? You want me to?"

    Miho and Yukari looked at each other. "I believe it would be best." Slowly getting up, he passed the rest of the commanders and took a seat at the front. They waited for a few more moments for others to arrive.

    "Where's Miss Chono," Yuzu asked.

    "She sends her regrets. Unfortunately, she has another engagement with a representative of the Federation. You're stuck with me."

    "I see."

    As more team commanders came in, they all wore uncertain faces. Nakajima, Leopon's Commander, was given pats on the back and some hugs. She looked a bit worse for wear. It was understandable, after yesterday.

    "I think everyone's here. Thank you all for coming." Yukari cleared her throat a couple of times. "As you know, there's been a change in the command structure. Some of you may not be comfortable with this. I get it. We will discuss that more in-depth later. However, our first item on the agenda…is clarification."

    Yukari turned to Rirko. Everyone looked at him, and he knew he was about to go on trial. "Mr. Nagasawa. We understand that new Sensha-do rules prohibit any student participating if they are emotionally compromised. However, we wish to barter on these conditions."

    Rirko was a little confused before realizing what Yukari was asking for. Nodding, he took the centre while she sat down. "Tank Commanders and other members of the Oarai Sensha-do Team. I understand your trepidation…"

    "Trepidation?" Asked Azusa.

    Ceasar explained it to her. "Fear and anxiety."

    "Oh."

    "However, rest assured, that Miho will still play an integral part of the team." The tank commanders looked around the room, confused.

    "So, Miho's not suspended?"

    "She is! Is she?"

    "I don't know; I'm confused."

    "Well think Yukari asked, huh."

    Even Miho was confused by this revelation. So, when Rirko relieved her of command, what did it honestly mean?

    "I don't think most of you listened to what I said yesterday about this. I'll repeat it: it's with a heavy heart that I temporary relieve Miho of command, until such time she has shown to me and her peers that she is able to once again take the responsibility of leadership."

    The room was silent for a second. "So, it isn't a perma-ban?" asked Nekonya.

    Rirko starred at her.

    "Oh right, temporary."

    "Now then. Federation rules state that they are to not participate in all aspects of Sensha-do. However, this rule when looking it up is up to the discretion of the presiding counsellor."

    Murmurs started to fly again.

    "Girls, please! Miho won't be going on the battlefield, nor will she be acting in a command capacity. Nor will she be able to ride tanks." Miho's heart sank, and she looked defectively on the table.

    "That being said, I will allow her to act in an advisory role regarding mentorship, training and strategic planning. Ultimately, however, the contingency command must be respected. Yukari will make the overall decision on the team's course of action."

    Rirko already mentioned it to the Student Council way back when. However, the only difference is that it was no longer a suggestion. It was an order, under the authority of the Federation.

    Although Miho wouldn't be riding tanks for a while, at least she could still be with her friends. That consolation was better than nothing.

    "Um, Mr. Nagasawa?" Kii asked. "When will Nishizumi-Sempai return to commanding a tank?"

    "…that's up for your commander to decide." Rirko looked at Miho. If she wanted back in a tank, then she would have to step up her recovery process. However, understanding mental issues, especially ones that cause fear and anxiety, would be a long process. She started, at least, but still had some ways to go.

    The team had yet to understand the seriousness of Miho's situation, but perhaps that would be for the best. If more people found out, Miho would be smothered with support. A person like her likes to keep her privacy. As Rirko sat down, he and Miho exchanged glances. He wanted her back in, but the way she was right now, it wasn't going to happen.

    'What do you want me to do?' Miho wondered. 'What am I supposed to do to go back to the team?' Such questions could be used in a session, maybe?

    "Thank you for that clarification…Mr Nagasawa." Yukari was moving on the list. "Now, on the issue of the chain of command. I know most of you don't think of me as a competent strategist or leader like Miss Nishizumi. I admit, she's a tough act to follow."

    Yukari was right in this regard. Miho's job in commanding the team was unparalleled. So, how would Yukari's style differ from hers? Would it be business as usual or something different altogether?

    "For now, we will keep most things the same. It doesn't mean it won't change. There may be some adaptations we need to implement in the coming weeks. The team commanders will still give out their input on strategies, and the teams will be working extra hard in doing their part. Each team will also be encouraged to 'think on the fly' when something goes wrong. That's our strength. To do the unexpected and surprise the enemy."

    The tank commanders looked at one another. Some shook, others nodded.

    "I am not like Miss Nishizumi. Nor will I act like her. I can only do my best to drive this team forward. But…I can't do it alone! I need support from every one of you. It wouldn't be Oarai Girl's Academy Sensha-do Team without you girls!"

    Yukari was asking for help, from the heart. Some commanders could pick up on that. The ones that were sceptical about her experience and resolve were starting to think twice. She may have the makings of a team commander yet.

    "All I'm saying that if you have an issue, let me know. I'll make it my job to listen. Also, if you have a suggestion, make sure you tell me. This isn't my team. This is OUR team. So, let's make it the best we can be."

    Nodding, the commanders applauded Yukari for being frank with them. Miho wiped a tear of joy, proud that her protégé was able to rouse the team members together. The rest of the meeting spoke of restructuring. Since Leopon was one member short, they were to reassign their members to double duty until Hoshino was able to come back. Not only that, Anglerfish was in a similar situation. Yukari would have to pull double duty as a loader and team commander. They would still need to work out how they could operate a tank while its loader was coordinating the attacks.

    Rirko listened silently to their plans. They weren't ordinary girls who would talk about the latest trend or boys. They were also smart girls with dreams and ambitions. And a deep love for one another as a team. When it was all over, the commanders were in high spirits. As Rirko headed out the door, Miho caught him.

    "May I speak with you? Please?"

    'Geez.' He knew he wasn't going to like what Miho had to say. However, he had to cut her some slack. It was some high-level stuff that went down with her yesterday, and he didn't expect her to get over it so soon.
    Notojima – Hotel Lobby – Morning

    The commanders regrouped with the rest of their team. Some of them went out into town to buy some souvenirs. Others stayed in their rooms, waiting for the departure time. Not wanting to intrude on the conversation, Yukari excused herself to begin packing for the trip back to Oarai.

    Miho and Rirko sat awkwardly, as like in the office. She looked scared and stressed. Rirko did his best to keep an empathetic ear.

    "Thank you for yesterday. I mean…"

    "Well, you've been through a lot. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did."

    She nodded. "I understand why you had to do it. I'm not happy, I admit. But…I'll take whatever I can get." She was still disappointed about not being able to ride the tanks. That was understandable as she spent most of her life around them. Now she's within their grasp but not able to ride one.

    "I'm glad you're able to understand the reasoning behind it. Most people would put their emotions first, and allow their sadness and anger to direct their activities."

    There was a silence between the two for a while.

    "What you said in the conference room. What did you mean 'it's up to me?'

    "Well, what do you think it means?"

    "I don't know."

    "Think about it, Miho. What does it mean for you to do?"

    This was her thinking about her feelings again. Although she didn't like doing it, she had to. "Figure out why things are happening?"

    Rirko nodded. "There's a reason for your attacks. The mind may not know, but the body seems to be reacting to some danger of sorts. When you have that attack, it kicks into a 'fight or flight' mode."

    "Fight or flight?"

    "When we're faced with a difficult situation we either face it head on or run away. The problem with you is that your body is reacting that way, even though you've faced your share of a stressful situation. Further, it sometimes reacts when nothing else is there."

    "So…what can I do when that happens. I can…feel it coming…if that makes sense."

    "That's good. You can take steps then to avoid an attack. Would you like to know?"

    "Yes please!" Miho looked eager to learn. Rirko nodded.

    "First, think about the situation itself. Have you've been in this situation before? What are the chances of you getting hurt? What is the worst-case scenario? Asking yourself these questions helps ground yourself to the present. Your body is maybe reacting to nothing…therefore, be afraid of nothing."

    "If everything is fine, then I'm overreacting?"

    "In layman terms, yes. It's a bit tricky, especially when you have an attack coming on. That's why you should try breathing techniques."

    "Oh! I've been doing that…just not that much."

    "Well, practice makes perfect. Trying doing it every day, even when you don't have an attack coming on. That way, when it does happen, you're ready."

    "Be prepared for it. Okay."

    "What else?" Rirko wanted to help Miho self-regulate herself. It would be a way to start off her self-recovery. "Your friends and teammates and your sister are there to support you. But, there may be times when they're too supportive. Do you know what I mean?"

    "I think, yes. But I don't want to hurt their feelings."

    'Sweet Miho, always thinking about others. So cute.' "They are maybe doing it too much. Let them know when you need your space. Even though being alone is frown upon in your situation, sometimes people need some time to think. It can be in a public place by yourself or a secluded place like the forest."

    "Make time for me."

    "Yeah." Miho seemed to be listening to every piece of advice. She wanted to get well. "Finally. Your emotions and feelings."

    This was the hard pill to swallow. Miho braced herself.

    "You still don't want people to know how you truly feel. That's okay sometimes. But if you need to get something off your chest, talk to someone right away. Don't wait. If you do, then your body will react to the negativity you have in your mind. That will be an onset of an attack."

    She looked down, "Can you explain it to me a bit further?"

    "Sure. I've noticed you're reserved when it comes to things other than tanks. You have an opinion, a feeling; these things can be shared. Find an outlet to let these feelings known."

    "How?"

    "Activity. Painting, flower arrangements, making videos, be creative when expressing yourself. It doesn't have to be alone; it can be with others. Your friends or other like-minded people." Rirko was suggesting opening herself more to other people. Not just people in her school.

    "I'm…I'm not good with meeting new people."

    "There are a lot of ways you can meet people. Groups that are like-minded as you. Joining a class that teaches something new. Sharing your knowledge about certain things, volunteering for an organisation. Like I said, use your imagination. Explore the world around you. You'll be surprised how much is out there when you take that first step."

    The suggestions he made were lifestyle choices that Miho had to go on her own. It meant getting her out of her comfort zone and explore things she has never considered before. It was scary…but she was intent on doing it to get back on the team.

    "These things you're suggesting. Will they work?"

    Rirko shrugged. "Well, we don't know unless we try, right?"

    "And can I still see you? In the mornings?" He nodded.

    "You have support. You'll get there." She was uncertain of this path but was sure she would be able to pull it off. She was confident that it would work.

    "Then…what about Sensha-do? If I do these things? Will I be able to get back?"

    "You never left the team, Miho. You're taking on another, less active role. You need a break, time to recover. Figure out things, the reasoning behind these attacks. Take time in getting that answer. You're still the Sensha-do commander for the team, right? That it'll still be there."

    Just because she wasn't taking an active role, it didn't mean she was kicked off the team. But Miho liked riding in tanks. That was her passion. Although Rirko's answer was not the one she was looking for, she was enthusiastic about the possibility of things getting back to normal.

    "I'll try Mr. Nagasawa. I'll try my best."

    "That's all I ask. If you want it, you'll get there. You got to believe in that." She stood up and bowed, with a small smile.

    "Excuse me? Are you Oarai's student counsellor?"

    Miho's skin turned pale as if she saw a ghost. Inquisitively, Rirko closed his eyes and addressed the visitors. "Who wants to know?"
    Notojima – Town Center – Morning

    Ami looked at her watch. "9:25." In dress uniform, she sat on a nearby bench near the fountain. Oddly enough, it was the same fountain she and Rirko sat on a few days ago.

    Twiddling her thumbs, repositioning herself slightly and sighing, her meetings would be just like any meeting. But she felt something different about it. Uneasy.

    Suddenly, a figure approached her, and she stood up. Walking towards her, she was ready. She bowed.

    "Sensei."

    Shiho, sporting grey coat and skirt with black shoes, folded her arms. "I almost didn't see you, Ami. Why did you choose a place like this?"

    "Sensei, you said inconspicuous."

    Shiho did say that to her. 'I didn't mean out of view from everyone, just not in plain sight.' "Don't act smart, Ami. It's not polite."

    Both Ami and Shiho sat down on the bench. For a moment, they watched as the people walked about their business. The Pravda/ Oarai students leaving the centre to got back to the respective school.

    "When I got your text, I was concerned. You don't usually text me unless it's critical."

    Shiho nodded. "I feel that the situation in Oarai has gotten out of hand."

    "You mean with Miho?"

    "Hmm…" Wow, you figured it out Ami, I think I got a gold star somewhere. "I want to know exactly what happened and more specifically… Rirko Nagasawa."

    Ami was speechless. Her conversations were with confidence. He trusted her to keep the things he said a secret and now her teacher wants to share said information with her?

    "You know I can't tell you much. It was said in confidence."

    "So, you do know something."

    "I do. But I gave my word that I wouldn't speak to anyone about it."

    Shiho chuckled slightly. "You never change, Ami. You're always so reliable. Perhaps to a fault." She stared at the fountain. "You are one of my joys in my entire career; you know that? With your skill, you were able to get far."

    "I have you to thank, Sensei." The feeling was mutual. The relationship between teacher and student was strong. It transcended time and grows. Sometimes it becomes something more and other times, and they drift apart because of differences. "But I didn't know that. I just thought of myself of 'one of Shiho Nishizumi's students.'"

    "But you were a student with a strong will," Shiho explained. "When people hear the name 'Nishizumi' they usually tremble with respect. And rightfully so. But when we first met, you were fearless. You didn't care who taught you, so long as you were able to learn."

    "I was brash and foolish back then. I think I'm still am." Shiho could help but laugh softly at that admission. Then, she turned serious.

    "Things are changing in the world of Sensha-do. I recognize that. Myself, Chiyo, we're all part of a dying breed. Trying to keep the old ways going but it's only a matter of time."

    "What are you saying, sensei?" Ami was wondering where she was going with this. "You sound as if you're dying."

    Shiho looked up at the sky. "I have a couple of years left, Ami. But I speak about the world of Sensha-do. I had hope my daughters, and you would be the ones to carry on the Nishizumi legacy and with it the old ways. I'm teaching Maho everything she needs to know, while she can still learn. As for Miho…"

    She trailed off. As she spoke, she spoke in a sad voice. "She's so much like her father. Compassionate, idealistic, faithful. But she has diverged from me, going her way and forsaking generations of Nishizumi heritage. What she is trying to accomplish, I do not know. However, what I do know is that she is hurting now, and I don't know why."

    Shiho was open with Ami about how she felt about her daughters and her responsibility as head of the family. It was a tough job; in which to keep the past alive. Ami listened. What she did, she did rarely but only for a few people that had earned her respect: she confided in her.

    "Sensei…"

    "Ami." The guise of a confident and intimidating woman, hidden in a stoic mask, was gone. This was the face of a mother's anguish. Of course, she could not show this to anyone, not even her daughters. It would be seen by all as a sign of weakness. "I need your help. Please tell me what is happening to Miho."

    Ami sighed. Her loyalty to her teacher and her right to know as a mother won the day. She would tell as much as she needed to know.

    But the question was: would Rirko understand?
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Lobby – Morning

    Darjeeling, Orange Pekoe, Kay, Anchovy, Katyusha and Nonna were standing there waiting for Rirko. Awe-struck, Miho sat down once again.

    He recognized some faces. 'Oh, tea girl. Another tea girl. Fun sized and fun size's assistant.'

    "Miho, dear!" Everyone, at once, rushed in. "How are you doing?"

    "I-I'm fine, Darjeeling. Thank you for your conc-"

    "Geez lady, you are nuts! What made you think of doing something so reckless!" Kay rushed in and gave her a huge hug. Miho felt the air leave her body.

    "Don't ever do that again! I was so worried about you!"

    "Kay, I'm sorry! C-Can you let go? Your hurting…"

    "Oh," Kay released her, and Miho took deep breaths. "Sorry, I got carried away."

    "I am glad you are well, Miho." Nonna walked towards her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

    "Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for your concern." Katyusha hung back, not moving an inch and looked at Miho. Nonna, concerned about her captain's behaviour, decided not to press her to say anything.

    Anchovy sighed. "We tried to see you as soon as we could. But we weren't able to because of those stupid-"

    "What Anchovy is trying to say," Darjeeling interjected, "was that we wanted to see you on the field yesterday but got held up. Protocols and such."

    "Makes sense…" Miho smiled and nodded while the captains were talking. At one point, Rirko and Miho's eyes locked with each other. It looked like she wanted 'out'. Her eyes looked as if she was pleading him to help her.

    Rirko cleared his throat a couple of times. "Miho."

    "Y-Yes, Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "I believe that you're due to a debrief in Yukari's room. Talking to the other tank commanders about strengths and opportunities, yes? Or have you forgotten?" He tapped on his watch a couple of times. Initially confused, she smartened up.

    "That's right! I-I must go. Yukari and the others are waiting for me!"

    "Alright, Miho. Please keep in touch." Darjeeling and the others were still worried about her friend but were glad they were able to see her. As Miho bowed and said her goodbyes, he past Rirko and whispered to him.

    "Thank you."

    As she left, all attention laid upon Rirko. 'Oh crap. What do these girls want with me?'

    "Please forgive us. We haven't introduced ourselves, have we? I am Darjeeling. Glorianna's Sensha-do captain. This is Orange Pekoe." The Glorianna girls bowed.

    "Hiya! I'm Kay! Saunders' Sensha-do captain."

    "Duce Anchovy of Anzio High!" She gave a solemn bow. "Captain of Anzio's Sensha-do Team. A pleasure."

    "I don't think we need any introductions, do we?" Nonna smiled, and Katyusha nodded.

    "There are more of us, however, due to other obligations at their school they are unable to meet you here today," Darjeeling explained to Rirko. He stared at them.

    'Prissy rich girl much?' "So, now that we are properly introduced…what brings you here?"

    "Oh, you're a smart guy, you figured it out!" Katyusha butted in. She was trying to act like herself in front of the others. Of course, this irked Rirko somewhat.

    "Katyusha, be nice." Nonna sternly warned her. Not wanting an angry Nonna on her, she apologised quickly.

    "I'm sure that you're not here for a social visit." He knew the reason why they were there. They all sat down around him.

    "Concerned about Miho, are you?" The murmurs confirmed it.

    "We are all here to see if we can help."

    "It's nice to see you girls care." Rirko glossed over the girls. They were all worried and truly wanted to make Miho better. "I won't go into specifics, but if yesterday's match was any indication, she's dealing with issues. Lots and lots of issues."

    "What caused that?" Kay asked, leaning forward a little. "I mean, Miho's been in danger before, and she never had that problem."

    "Maybe she was hiding it," Anchovy suggested. She crossed her arms in thought. "Miho always has a smile and thinking about others. She didn't want to make us worry, maybe?"

    "What make you come to that conclusion?" asked Rirko. She was right, of course, but how she arrived at that deduction was the question.

    "When I faced her last. We had our post celebration. She was all smiles, with the rest of the team. Laughing, giggling, having a good time. But, I felt, something."

    "Something?" Interesting. "What did you feel?"

    "I felt...I felt she was not genuine. That smile and laughter that I saw. She was forcing it. She was, acting as if she was happy. I mean, I don't know. It's just a feeling, that's all. It made me uneasy."

    Darjeeling understood how she was able to deduce that logic. "You're close to your teammates. You would have an affinity to sense how people are feeling, just by being next to them." Anzio was all about friendship and comradery.

    "Can that happen?"

    "Well, it's not out of the realm of possibility," Rirko explained. "Sensing energy: it's a skill that everyone has. Yours is more developed is all. If you spend a lot of time with people, your tank mates, you can develop a 'sixth sense' to feel the energies of others. Good observation, Duce."

    Anchovy blushed and nodded.

    "Anything else?"

    "The way she treats her teammates. She truly does care about them and makes their problems her problems. Maybe too much." Kay had time to think about Miho and concluded that her relationship with her team was like a mother hen and her chicks. She took care of her own.

    'Making other problems, your problems. That's just asking to be a doormat.'

    "She's too soft!" Everyone turned to Katyusha, who had a serious look. "Mihosha cares too much!"

    "Oh?"

    "What do you mean 'oh'? We all saw! She was willing to risk herself for others! Never had I heard her yell or scream at someone! I'm guessing she just caters to different situations, not addressing the issue."

    "Guess?" Nonna asked.

    "Nonna...shh." Nodding, Nonna let Katyusha explain further. "We have our styles of leadership, but sometimes a firm voice shows others who's boss. Her style makes her equal to everyone else. If there's a problem, it's always mediation and never directive."

    'Too soft? Now that she mentioned it, she only yelled when breaking up that one fight. Other than that, she's always mediating conflicts and never demanding her team of anything.' Rirko was getting a good idea of what Miho was like to her rivals. It was beneficial information.

    "You all identified problems with Miho, as well as validated her strengths. Going back to the original question: what can you do to help?" The girls leaned forward, awaiting the answers.

    "Sometimes, a person wants to talk about something, but either can't find the proper words or too scared about the 'what ifs.'"

    "What ifs?" Orange Pekoe asked.

    "What if they hate me? What if they laugh at me? What if they won't be my friend anymore. Worst case scenario. Establish yourself as a friend who will be by her side. If you know, something is wrong, or feel it, address the situation. But don't push it too far. Some scenarios include constantly calling, pushing for more information, accusations. These things don't help. Rather they harm. I'm pretty sure you don't want to be hurting her, right?"

    All shook their heads.

    "Don't beat around the bush. If you have something to say, say it then. Most likely she'll know that you know something is troubling her. Above all else, be patient. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about that day, or she's not willing to share everything on her mind. That's okay. If you truly care for her, then let her come to you. Be patient. Wait and see."

    Like Anglerfish, the captains were new when supporting a person with emotional issues.

    "Take care of yourselves foremost. That's important. Caring for a person like this may be too much sometimes. I told Anglerfish the same thing. Take a break when you need too. You girls are doing this out of the goodness of your own heart. She's lucky! Not many people dealing with this problem have that support."

    "I think I can say for all of us here. We've been touched by Miho's heart one way or another. She has always supported us in our endeavours. We shall support her in her time of need."

    "Glad to hear it. It would break my heart if she lost all of you at this stage."

    "What, you think we abandon her?" Apparently, Kay took offence to this. "I don't quite know what's going on, but you'll be sure as hell that I'll help her out!"

    "Same goes for me. Anzio's way of life has always been to support one another. Miho may not be from Anzio, but she's a fellow practitioner of Sensha-do. Plus, I like her."

    "We all do. And we'll do whatever it takes to help her on her feet."

    Katyusha was quiet, folding her arms and waiting anxiously. "What's wrong, Katyusha? Do you want to go somewhere?"

    "No! I mean, yes! W-Where's the girl from the other night?"

    Rirko pointed them in the right direction. "You mean, Yukari? I believe that she's in her hotel room. It's on this floor, ask the front desk." Katyusha got up and headed towards the front desk. Nonna, bowing, made her way as well.

    "I wonder why she wants to talk to Yukari suddenly?" Anchovy asked. "She's been acting weird as of late."

    "Yeah, she's less of a prick." Kay was certainly blunt. Rirko rolled his eyes. 'There's such a thing called tact, Kay.'

    "Well, me and Anchovy are gonna look around. There are some souvenirs we want to get the girls!" Kay, excitedly, headed towards the door, her head up high and skipping a little.

    Anchovy sighed. "It's window shopping for me…I'm broke."

    Rirko looked at her. "Broke? Then how the heck did you get here?"

    "I was only able to come here because we restricted snacks from two to one. I didn't ask for it, but the girls wanted me and the others to come here. 'You three work hard, Duce', 'Have a great time, Duce, don't worry about us!' It was…ah…" She shook her head mournfully. Anchovy wasn't the type to look for handouts. Anzio had their pride, after all. She was just guilty that she wouldn't get souvenirs for her friends.

    Darjeeling and Orange Pekoe looked with pity. "Anzio's still in cash restraints, huh?" She nodded.

    Rirko watched the entire affair. "Ah! Damnit!" He quickly took out his wallet, grabbed the last 5000 yen and handed it over to Anchovy. The three looked on with surprise. Anchovy stood there with shock.

    "I-I-I can't accept it. It's not…"

    Rirko pointed his finger at her. "Not another word. Take it gracefully, don't mention it to anyone and buy dollar gifts for your girls to make it last longer. Now, get out of here."

    Her eyes filled up with tears, and she stood there before bowing repentantly and headed towards Kay.

    "Probably faking," Rirko said, sorrowfully. "Gonna be spending that cash on something for herself."

    Darjeeling shook her head. "Not at all. Duce Anchovy is a girl with integrity. There's no way she would spend anything on herself. And it is true that Anzio is in dire cash restraints right now. It's a miracle that they were able to send her using a helicopter."

    'So, I didn't get cheated, that's good.' It was a spur of a moment for Rirko. He didn't know if Anchovy would be taking advantage of his generosity, but a recommendation from Darjeeling made him feel better. It was improper for a stranger to give money to another stranger, but seeing Anchovy mournfully talk about not being able to bring something back for her team made him sad. Darjeeling was about to head out with Orange Pekoe.

    "Your insight is invaluable, Mr. Nagasawa. Thank you so much."

    "Your welcome, Miss Darjeeling."

    "There's just one thing."

    "Yes?" He didn't like her tone. She sounded concerned.

    "I heard that a counselor's job is taxing at times and there are instances where a person takes said counsellor to their limits. Have you ever experienced this before?"

    Now that she mentioned it, Rirko was getting snippy, and there were times where his patience ran thin.

    "Have you ever heard of this saying? 'He who makes a beast of himself removes himself from the pain of being human.'"

    "Dr. Samuel Johnson, right?"

    "Yes. Sometimes, a beast is necessary to break down the walls of insecurities, deprivation and despair. But sometimes beasts can scare off the one thing they wish to protect."

    Why did Darjeeling sound like a philosopher? "What are you trying to say, Miss Darjeeling?"

    She sighed. "Miho is one of my dear friends. She has gained my respect long ago. But I also know that she can be bull-headed sometimes and wishes to handle these situations...personally. That is a recipe for disaster. Confrontation is necessary sometimes to get the intended result. Don't you agree?"

    Rirko recalled what happened between him and Maho. He had to be direct with her to open her up. He faced that same problem with Miho a couple of times. Darjeeling was making a point. Being direct sometimes works. But it was a 50/50 chance.

    "Thank you, Miss Darjeeling; I will take it under advisement."

    Nodding slightly, she and Orange Pekoe left. Rirko was by himself again. It was thirty past ten. Reflecting on his talks, he thought to himself:

    'Miho has friends left and right. It would have been problematic if I told them that she was suspended as a captain. Everyone wants to help, and that's nice and all. But that's just handling the symptoms. To get to the bottom of this, I need to know 'why' this is happening. So, that means cleaning out the closet. Fun times.'
    Notojima – Town Center – Morning

    When Shiho asked Ami about Miho, she was rightfully surprised. Since that match, Miho didn't even have one proper conversation with her. Forget Christmas, New Years or also well wishes. She conveyed all messages to Maho, and they were strictly about Sensha-do. Her wanting to find out about Miho's well-being was a surprise to be sure.

    Even though Ami spoke to Rirko in confidence, Ami felt that as Miho's mother, she should at least be privy to what is going on in Oarai. She mentioned to her about Miho's stress and anxiety, her recent spell of panic attacks that affected her physically and emotionally. There was also how she was getting support from her friends and school.

    She spoke, at length, about Miho's struggle with emotional distress and how to deal with it. The attacks have affected her to the point where her performance on the battlefield was changed as well.

    Then, the topic about Rirko came up. It was a subject that Ami wasn't looking forward too. For the most part, Shiho had been understanding and patient. But when she mentioned Rirko's name, she turned hostile.

    "He's a menace," Shiho said, matter-of-factly. "He's prying into private matters that don't concern him."

    Ami shook her head. "So long as Miho is a student of Oarai, he has every right to be concerned about her well-being."

    "He can't begin to imagine the life of a Nishizumi. A man like him…a foreigner like him has no place in our affairs."

    "But he knows how to talk to Miho. The Nishizumi are strong-willed individuals, and that extends to both you and your daughters. But I've seen him break down mental resistances of some stubborn girls. He changes them in a way that benefits them. That especially goes for Miho."

    "What ridiculousness is this, Ami?" Shiho had trouble believing that a man like Rirko could ever connect with a Nishizumi. Granted, Miho was a black sheep, but she was taught to keep her guard up always. The enemy could be lurking anywhere.

    "Call it what you want Sensei. But thanks to him, she's been getting a better handle on what to do about how she feels. And, more importantly, be a supportive figure when things get tough."

    "Explain."

    Sighing, Ami had to make Shiho realize the gravity of the situation. Like the majority of Japan, she didn't think that mental health was that much of a problem because no one sees it.

    "The first time Miho suffered a panic attack. She went to the counselor's office and…"

    Ami went silent. Talking about an issue that sensitive required the right words. But Shiho was impatient.

    "What happened Ami? Tell me. Now."

    Ami stared at her. "She broke down. Completely. She was a total mess. Miho spent half a day in the infirmary."

    Shiho may have looked stoic, but inside she was horrified. Total mess? Infirmary? Just what was happening with her daughter? 'Why is this happening to you Miho? What is going on in that head of yours?' She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a minute and re-established her bearing.

    "So, now you know."

    "And is that everything, Ami?"

    She sighed. "No, that is not everything. But it's all you're going to get right now until he says otherwise."

    "Then I need to speak with Mr. Nagasawa then."

    "Yes."

    Regardless of the service, he rendered to Miho, Shiho couldn't trust him. His ways, his methods, his style. "The west and the east have always had a difference of opinion. Where he may see my methods in raising children harshly, it is perfectly normal here."

    "That may be true. But he is a man of honour. He cares for the people around him. Connects with them."

    "Emotions are nothing more than a hindrance on the battlefield, especially in Sensha-do. To have such emotions is to invite weakness. A weakness that your enemies will exploit." The Nishizumi had always strived for excellence. One of the ways they tried to obtain that was to show as less emotion as possible. That way, their opponents have no idea what they are thinking.

    "One final question: what does he think about me?"

    Ami knew that this was coming. "He fears you. He doesn't want anything to do with you."

    Shiho rolled her eyes. "The feeling is mutual. Ami, tell him this message the next time you see him."

    "Sensei?"

    "Tell him. If he meddles in our affairs again. Then, there will be hell to pay. And you know how serious I can be."

    With this threat, the meeting was over. Shiho left without saying another word. Ami felt guilty about giving her information when Rirko trusted her with its secrecy.

    "What am I going to do? How should I explain it to him?"
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Lobby – Afternoon

    When Ami arrived back at the lobby, Rirko was in the seating area. Most of the students waved and greeted her, but she walked right past them. They had concerned looks, as to wonder what happened to her. Rirko saw her and noted she was different. He went up to her.

    "What happened?"

    Ami was surprised. She couldn't say a thing to him when he was so direct. "I…uh…"

    "Come on." He motioned her to a secluded area in the lobby. There, she sat with him. They looked at each other.

    "I guess your meeting didn't go well."

    "How…how the hell do you know?"

    "You're quiet. You're not usually quiet. You're usually chatting it up with the girls and waving. But this time, you moved right passed them. What's up?"

    Ami swollen hard. Her heart was racing. "You know that Federation rep I met?"

    "Yeah?"

    "It was Shiho."

    Rirko looked at her blankly. She turned away from him. "Jesus f***ing Christ."

    "Yeah. Tell me about it."

    "Yeah. Tell me about it."

    "So, I suppose she knows everything now, right?"

    Once again, Ami was in shock. "You…how?"

    "Hey, if I was her, I want to know what the hell is going on."

    She sighed. "I tried. I held as much information as I could. And I did. But she knows some of our conversations. I'm sorry. I am."

    Ami looked guilty. She failed to keep her promise. Rirko was silent. For a few moments, they just sat there.

    "Rirko, stop with the silent treatment, okay! I made a mistake, but she cornered me! Understand where I'm coming from! I respect her! She was my teacher! Just yell, scream, how much of a traitor I am, just say something!"

    Rirko smirked and took Ami's hand. He gave her wrist a light tap.

    "There. Now we're even."

    Amazed about what happened, she had to think about what he did. "A slap…on the wrist? Are you screwing with me?!"

    "Shiho was going to find out eventually. Sooner rather than later. But I admit if Shiho starts asking questions, and Miho catches wind, and she freaks out…I'm throwing you under the bus, okay?"

    She understood. He would say that Ami was the one to tell her all about the goings-on in Oarai.

    "I'm really sorry, Rirko. I really, really am sorry."

    "It's done. I could freak out on you, call you all those things. But, will they change the situation?"

    "No. It won't."

    "Anything else she said?"

    "Yeah…There was this one thing." It was going to be interesting. What did Shiho say?

    "It was a message: meddle in our affairs again and there will be hell to pay." Rirko squinted one eye for a minute, before smirking. He got up and rejoined the girls.

    'That went…better than I hoped.' Ami felt that she would have to make it up to him.

    'At least Ami was truthful. But now, Shiho know some things about Miho and her condition. I'll have to be more careful about what I say to Ami from now on. Even though she's a confidant, her connection with Shiho is a problem. But then again…I could use that.'

    He had choice words about Shiho's message. But decided to be the better man and let her have that small victory.

    The bus came. Some team members were carrying bags. As the driver started to load their luggage, Anglerfish arrived. At once, some members went to talk with them. Words of encouragement and love. Miho nodded and smiled a little. When it was all said and done, the bus left Notojima and back to Oarai.

    The mood on the bus was sombre, mainly due to the match. Once again, the girls little talk much. Only some idle chatter and some chuckles were heard.

    Even Ami and Rirko were quiet. While Rirko forgave Ami for giving up information, he was disappointed that after her assurances of confidentiality, she told anyway. But, he should have seen it coming. Shiho was Ami's teacher. A relationship between teacher and student can exist long after the student left the school. Ami knew he was not happy with the turn of events and resolved to make things right.

    Anglerfish slept on the way back to Oarai, except for Miho. As the bright lights and sounds transitioned to the calming sea, she only thought about what she could do to get back in her tank and lead the team. The gears in her head were undoubtedly turning.

    'Talk more. More friends. Join people. I've never done any of that stuff before. He says explore? How do I do that? How do I get myself out there?'

    Rubbing her temples, the anxiety of meeting new people and talking about things not related to tanks. Other than tanks and Boko, there wasn't much else. What could she do?

    'Mr. Nagasawa suggested these ideas. I can ask him later.'

    They were nearing the ship, their home. Soon, they would all rest and begin a brand-new day.
    A/N: Sorry for the ending. Don't know why but it's weird to me. Perhaps it could have ended better, I don't know. Anyways, with the match over and done with you'd think things would calm down but nope. There's a few more chapters with some heavy stuff. Just a fair warning. Thank you all for your support on this.
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: And everything comes full circle. Part of the chapter will look very, very familiar. Very emotional chapter and it'll get real at one point. Fair warning. Anyways, hope it goes well.
    Oarai Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Morning

    6:30 A.M. Rirko got out of bed and rubbed his eyes. Stretching a little, he opened the curtains. It was raining.

    "Fantastic. Great day."

    Although the Sensha-do Team returned late last night, they still needed to go to school. Rirko was wondering if some, if not all, of the students, we're going to call in sick, just to get in that extra hour of sleep in. Turning on the TV, making himself some breakfast (toast with peanut butter and jelly with coffee), he watched the morning news.

    "In sports, we are nearing the Sensha-do Federation Nationals. Last year's upset with Oarai Girl's Academy coming out on top has enthusiasts and new fans alike excited about this year's turnout. The powerhouses of Pravda and Kuromormine will have a chance at redemption as Oarai, with some newcomers, enter the Sensha-do ring. Who will dominate this year's competition-"

    The Nationals were coming up. With all of the practice matches Oarai has put in, it was apparent to everyone that Oarai intended to stay on top. But with the situation unfolding as it was, could that even be possible. Turning off the TV, he sighed and started to get ready. Today was a Monday so he would have to arrive at the school early. He checked his e-mail, in the off-chance Miho wrote about canceling.

    No such luck.

    It wasn't the fact that Rirko didn't want to see Miho. It was the fact that he had to get up early and he was already exhausted. But professional obligation demands his attention to the issue. Gathering all of his essentials, he headed out the door.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Rirko's Office – Morning

    He arrived at his usual time. Booting up his computer, he made himself a cup of coffee before sitting down. Getting comfortable, he sat down and stared at the window.

    "Still raining." As 7:30 approached, he looked through his e-mail. Checking his inbox, there was another sent by the J.M.H.I.
    Dear Mr. Nagasawa,

    We are delighted that you will be attending our workshop. Already, professionals from other fields will be joining you to discuss with others the importance of a healthy mental health lifestyle not only for students but for all. Bellow are the time and locations of the workshop:

    Where: Kuromorimine High School – Main Auditorium

    When: Dec 16, 20XX 10:00AM

    Please contact administrative support of your school to finalize travel details and times. We thank you for your cooperation and look forward to seeing you.

    Regards,

    Ibuki Sawa, Regional Head, J.M.H.I.
    J.M.H.I

    Rirko had expressed an interest in attending before he left for Notojima but started to freak out on where the venue was taken place:

    Kuromorimine High School

    "Kuromorimine?! You can' t be serious?! There's just no way!" A lump formed in his throat, with the possibility of meeting an angry Shiho asking about her daughter. If he had known it was going to be held in Kuromorimine, then he would have declined outright. But then, he thought to himself:

    'Why am I freaking out over this? It's only Miho's mother who has a twisted sense of discipline and lifestyle. If she wants to speak with me, I'm game. I shouldn't have a problem with this.' He sighed and reaffirmed his stance: Shiho was a deterrent that had to be dealt with if Miho was to have a healthy relationship with her family.

    He heard the ticking of the clock and looked up.

    "7:45?" And Miho was not there. He was so focused what was in front of him that he forgot Miho. But she would have knocked. "She's usually on time…" Walking to the door, he opened it and looked around. No Miho.

    "What in the hell?" Miho was punctual, if not dedicated to her self-recovery. She would have let him know if she wasn't coming in. 'Maybe she's still pissed off about that suspension. Or maybe she's tired?'

    Regardless, Miho wasn't there. How could he have a session if the person in question wasn't there? Shrugging it off, he decided to ask her friends, if they came in and Ami as well. Shutting the door, he continued with his work.
    Oarai Carrier Ship - Miho's Apartment – Early Morning

    Yukari knocked on the door. "Miss Nishizimi, are you up?"

    Yukari and the rest of Anglerfish waited for Miho. "She's not there."

    "You know what?" Saori realized, "I bet that Miporin's with Mr. Nagasawa."

    Hana confirmed it. "It is one of her session days. She could be at school already." Mako wore a worried look.

    "Y-yeah. Let's get to the school. She's probably there." As Anglerfish started to leave, Yukari looked at the apartment door again. She had an uneasy feeling.

    That feeling was warranted. Miho was still in her bed but was wide awake. Hidden under the covers, he body ached all over. Trying to force herself out, she felt the cold air crawling on her skin. She went back inside.

    'So cold.' She could only think about the cold. Miho knew that she had to get up. Her mind said 'yes' but her body said 'no.' And she didn't know why.

    Gathering up her strength, she shot out of the covers and shook herself awake. She looked at the clock. 8:10am. Miho sighed as she slowly walked towards the bathroom.

    After getting ready and putting her uniform, she went into the kitchen. There, on the countertop, was two medication pills; one for the morning and the other for the night. The pills helped her keep some normalcy in her life. But, as of late, their effectiveness started to wane. Taking the pills for the morning, she was about to open the bottle when she realized something.

    Miho wanted to get better, to have everything back to the way it was. How long would she have to take those pills? How long would she have to see a therapist to talk about her 'feelings?' How long will her friends stick around her until she drove them away with her depression? How long will her condition keep her from Sensha-do?

    How long would it take not for her to feel like this?

    Breaking out of her lethargic spell, these questions in her head screamed aloud demanding answers. Filled with sadness and anger, she cried as she slammed the pill bottle unto the ground. It bounced on the kitchen floor and skidded across the room.

    Her outburst had her shaking, and she began to breathe slowly. Remembering to breathe helped her calm down. Sighing, she grabbed her key and her phone heading out the door.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Homeroom – Morning

    "Nishizumi? Nishizumi?" The homeroom teacher called out loud. She was taking attendance, and everyone noticed that Miho wasn't there. "Saori, where's Miho?"

    Saori swallowed nervously. "I-I don't know, sensei. When me and the girls dropped by her apartment this morning, there was no answer. We assumed that she was already at school."

    Hana and Mako looked equally as nervous. 'Where the hell is Miho?' wondered Mako.

    The homeroom teacher was picking up this edgy vibe. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation for her absence. Class, I'll be out for just a moment, turn your books to page 132 and start reading up on page 140. Answer the questions at the end of 140. Excuse me." She briskly made her way to the door and closed it. As the class began their exercises, Anglerfish was concerned about their friend.

    Heading to the staff office, she opened a cabinet containing student information. Grabbing Miho's file, she used the staff phone to call the number. After ten rings, there was still no answer. She then called another name.

    "Headmistress, we have a missing student."
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Rirko's Office – Morning

    "Thank you, headmistress. Let me know of any future developments." Setting the phone down, he swore under his breath. "Cock."

    Miho was missing. It wasn't like her to skip school unless it was an illness. Japan's high schools weren't mandatory, so there weren't attendance officers that could look for her. Headmistress Raidou already notified the carrier ship security so they would be on the lookout. However, she wondered if Rirko heard anything. He did not.

    Rirko assumed that Miho would be at school, so he didn't worry before. But she wasn't, and that concerned him. Knowing that Ami would be out in town before heading to school in the afternoon, he texted her:

    "Miho is AWOL. Keep an eye out for her. Thanks." He received a reply.

    "I will, thanks for letting me know."

    He couldn't do much to remedy the problem, so he went back to work.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Cafeteria – Afternoon

    Yukari closed her phone. "Nothing." Anglerfish sighed collectively. Miho didn't contact anyone, and it was already the afternoon.

    "Do you think something happened to her?" Hana asked them.

    Mako finished eating her lunch. "I hope not. If something did…"

    "So, we won't talk about it!" Saori said, adamantly. Her outburst had them staring. "I'm sorry. I'm worried…that's all."

    "We all are."

    Yukari looked out of the window. "It wasn't like this last year."

    "You mean with Miho?" Yukari nodded. They were all feeling the effects of dealing with Miho and her issues. It was the type of thing that Miho was worried in the first place.

    "I'm not leaving her!" Yukari said, finally. "I'll stick by her no matter what!" The rest of Anglerfish looked at Yukari's passion. Touched by her resolve, Hana smiled.

    "None of us would leave her."

    "But I'm getting tired of Miporin handling things alone." Saori's frustration was evident, even though she tried hard to conceal it.

    "Mr. Nagasawa told us this would happen," Mako pointed out. This realization hit the rest of the girls.

    "Yeah, you're right. Take care of yourself. It's hard caring for someone." At the time, Anglerfish thought they could support Miho and her issues. However, as Miho's symptoms worsen, the more time and effort the girls put in to help her.

    "Saori, if you need time for yourself, go right ahead." Hana and the others were sympathetic to the situation. They wanted to help her friend, but it was a lot of work. "We can be there for her."

    Saori felt guilty about thinking about herself and not about Miho. Teary-eyed, she stayed silent. Mako put her hand on her shoulder.

    "So long as we have each other." Not only did they have to think about Miho's well-being, but theirs as well.
    Oarai Girl's Academy -Sensha-Do Sheds -Afternoon

    By the time practice rolled around, Miho was still missing. The clouds loomed over the field, spitting water towards the ground. It wasn't as bad as the afternoon; that was a total downpour that lasted a few minutes.

    'Even in Sensha-do?' Yukari wondered. The team started to gather with Yukari, with the rest of Anglerfish, in the center. Looking around, the teams began to whisper.

    "Miho's not here again."

    "Think she's okay?"

    "Well, it'll be the first time that she won't be leading."

    "Maybe she's not happy with the arrangement."

    "Who knows?"

    The murmurs didn't go unheard. Anglerfish sensed the uneasiness of the group.

    "Should we tell them Miho is missing?" Hana asked.

    Yukari had to think. There would be a lot of noise if word got out that she was missing. However, she couldn't start practice without them being in a proper frame of mind. Ultimately, she felt that the team needed to know. Silencing them, the attention turned to Yukari.

    'All those staring eyes. How does Miss Nishizumi do it?' "We have a situation, girls." The team started to whisper again.

    "You noticed that Miss Nishizumi isn't here. That's because…she's gone missing." At once, talks began.

    "Miho's missing?"

    "Where did she go?"

    "Did she leave the ship?"

    "Someone would have seen."

    "She's still on the carrier…"

    "I want you girls to know what's going on. And I want your honest opinion…what do you want to do?" Anglerfish looked at her. Was she letting the team decide?

    At once, someone from the back shouted, "Let's go find her!" Agreements erupted from the crowd, all naming their support. As they saw, Anglerfish was touched once again by their loyalty.

    "Got your answer, Yukarin?" Yukari nodded. A part of her wanted to search for Miho as well. So, it was decided. As soon Turtle organized the group and Anglerfish set up communications in one of the empty classrooms, the Sensha-do team cleared the training ground and scoured the carrier to find Miho.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Rirko's Office – Evening

    "Still haven't found her."

    Ami skipped Sensha-do practice looking for Miho herself. Rirko dealt with school issues all day.

    "Damn it, where is this girl?!" Rirko was stressed. For the entire day, a student was missing. A student he knew that needed help. A sigh was heard on the other end.

    "I checked all of the local hanging spots. Security already searched high and low for her. I hope she's okay."

    "She didn't leave the carrier so that would limit options. If we were docked, then that would be a different story."

    "Just be lucky this shit didn't happen in Notojima."

    "Agreed. Spend as much time as you can but take care of yourself, Ami."

    She laughed, "you worried about me?"

    "Someone's gotta. Let me know what's up. Good hunting." He hung up the phone and rubbed his temples. "This is starting to be a real pain…" Another call came in. Picking it up, he hoped it was good news. "Yes?"

    "Is this Mr. Nagasawa of Oarai Girl's Academy?"

    "Yes, to whom am I speaking with?"

    "My name is Ibuki Sawa. I'm coordinating the guest speakers for the Mental Health Japan Initiative (M.H.J.I) workshop, how are you?"

    'How am I? Feel like crap!' "I could complain, but no one would listen."

    Ibuki seemed to laugh genuinely at the joke. "It's great to hear you have a sense of humor. The reason for my call is just to confirm your attendance. Will you be able to participate?"

    "Of course." Like I have a choice. "I look forward to presenting my ideas to the major players of Sensha-do."

    "This is important for the initiative, reason because we now have a platform with which to plead our case. That the sport of Sensha-do, while recreational, still present risks to the human psyche. Especially to the participants."

    "So, do you oppose Sensha-do?" Rirko wanted to know if the initiative was intent on banning Sensha-do. He had met other people that were passionate about the sport. They wouldn't take that lying down.

    "That's the misconception we're hoping to clear up during this workshop. The initiative is only concerned about the unaddressed long-term effects of the participants. Like consecutive head trauma or continued strenuous repeated activity. We're all for Sensha-do; we just feel it needs to address the fact that it's simulating live warfare."

    Makes sense. "They are driving world war tanks around and shooting at each other. But, Miss Sawa…"

    "Ibuki. I'd rather be called by my first name. It's much easier."

    "Right. Ibuki. You realize you're going to have resistance going into this thing."

    "I am aware, especially from the traditional style households. They are one of our fiercest critics and would love nothing for this thing to fall apart. Thankfully, we have just as dedicated volunteers and staff in our pocket."

    "And how would I be contributing?"

    "You will be proving a perspective look at the cultural differences of mental health. East vs. West, as I'd like to call it. There's a lot that we can learn from each other."

    "Indeed."

    "Do you have time to discuss some of the topics you'd like to cover?"

    "I would lo-" Just then, the door opened slowly. Standing there, was Miho. Her hair disheveled, her uniform wet and dirty as if she was dragged through the mud, and her eyes. Her eyes looked empty, forlorn and looked at Rirko.

    His heart and jaw dropped, and he stared at her, wide-eyed. 'Oh my God.'

    "Mr. Nagasawa?" Ibuki was still on the phone. Still holding the phone, he answered.

    "Um. Something came up that requires my immediate attention. Can I e-mail you the details?"

    "Of course! I look forward to your e-mail."

    "Thanks, Ibuki, take care." He swiftly hung up the phone. Both looked at one another. Finally, Miho slowly walked through the door. Getting up, he rummaged through the drawers to find an emergency blanket. He draped it over her. At once, she collapsed on her knees and kept staring forward.

    Her mind was absent.

    'F***ing hell!' He sat on the floor with her. They stayed like this for five minutes. Finally, Rirko started asked her some questions.

    "Can you hear me, Miho?" Looking at him, she nodded her head a little.

    "Are you hurt badly?" She shook her head.

    'So, she can answer yes and no questions. That's a start.' "Can you get up off the floor, Miho?" Looking at him for a moment, she slowly started to stand. Rirko helped her up.

    "Great job. Would you like to sit down? Anywhere is fine." Slowly, she sat on a chair. Rirko took some cups and a jug of water to her. Pouring a cup, he offered it to her. Taking it, she drank it slowly.

    Setting up a chair adjacent to her, he waited for her to respond. He waited for what seemed like an eternity. The rain from before was letting up, and some of the sun's sunset rays shone through.

    Slowly, Miho looked like she was snapping out of whatever trance she was in. Taking in her surroundings, she breathed a sigh of relief. Noticing the blanket around her, she cuddled it close. "I'm sorry for the intrusion," she said, meekly.

    Rirko stared blankly at her. 'Intrusion? You went what looks like physical and emotional trauma, and you're worried about manners?!' "It's fine. All good. How are you?"

    Miho stared at her cup with a troubled expression. Her physical appearance and her silence was an easy guess.

    "You're not okay…are you."

    She had to think about that question for a while. She shook her head. "No. No, I'm not okay."

    "Tell me, then. What's going on?"

    She sighed. Rirko was no stranger to this behavior. She was reserved about talking about her feelings openly. But she did.

    After her outburst in the kitchen, she headed outside in her Oarai uniform, with the intent of going to school. However, on the way, she felt lost. She wandered into one of the park's forests for most of the day. She forgot to charge her phone that night and was completely dead. Panicking, she called for help, but no one came. She was alone; her biggest fear.

    She continued to wander the forest until she somehow reached the school. Relieved that her friends might be there, she rushed with all her strength…only to find the Sensha-do field empty. For the entire day, she was alone. No one by her side. No one to comfort her. This was beating a dead horse. Disheartened, she felt being in and out of reality.

    She saw Rirko's room light. She pushed herself towards the school, opened the school doors and headed towards his office. As she opened the door, her mind went blank.

    Finishing her story, Rirko could only look at her. She sat uncomfortably in the chair. 'What kind of a kid goes through that kind of a day?!'

    "Um…Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Huh?" Rirko snapped at Miho's question.

    "C-Can I take off this blanket? It's getting hot."

    "Uh, sure." As she was talking of the blanket and folding it neatly, Rirko was at a loss for words. 'She just went through hell and back, had what seems to be a psychogenic blackout, wandered into the school and to my room and is now talking to me. That's just crazy!' He didn't know where to start.

    Sighing, Rirko needed to start somewhere. "Well, you had quite the ordeal." She nodded.

    "And you were alone the entire day?" Miho shut her eyes as if she was in pain. She was in pain of being alone.

    "I tried calling for help, but I couldn't find anyone."

    "You then reached the Sensha-do sheds and found…no one there?" Her silence confirmed his suspicion. "Were you angry that you did 't find anyone there?"

    She didn't want to admit it to him, but he was right. For the entire day, she had hoped that someone, anyone would find her. When she saw the school at a distance, she remembered how her team and friends were supportive of her and in that moment of hope, it gave her the strength to move on.

    What she found, however, was emptiness. Nothing. Her heart ached just from thinking about it. After they pledged their support for her, she saw nothing.

    "And this all started this morning?" She nodded.

    "May I ask, how?"

    Rirko saw some anxiety while waiting for her response. Twitchy fingers, shifty eye moments and the silence. She didn't want to talk about it. But, to get to the bottom of why this happened, he needed to know the 'why.'

    "I…uh…um…"

    "Take your time. Don't rush, remember?" Taking advantage of the silence, Miho formulated her answer. And it was a simple one.

    "I wondered…when will I be normal again?"

    He understood. The panic attacks, medication, her suspension. They were all factors to this recent event. She wanted to get better but felt with the steps she was taking; it was hopeless.

    "I can't answer that, Miho. Because people cope through different means. People have different circumstances. For some, not long. For others, years."

    "YEARS!?" She stood up. "I can't take years to get better! I need to get better now!" Miho's outburst, although surprising, gave Rirko insight to her state of mind. She was frustrated with her lack of progress. He was silent and looked at her.

    Realizing her inappropriate behavior, she sat down slowly and looked at the floor. "I-I'm sorry. It's just…"

    "Frustrated?" She nodded her head. "Yeah, I hear you. You want things to happen, so you can go back to the way you were. Without the meds, without the suffering, and doing Sensha-do, right?"

    She looked at him when he said 'Sensha-do.' "How do you feel, right now?"

    "Right now,…right now, I don't want to feel anything." This was a surprising answer.

    "What does that mean?"

    "I don't want to feel. I don't want emotions. If it means I have to feel sad and depressed all the time."

    "They are a part of you. No matter how much you may deny it."

    Miho fell silent once again. He started to notice a pattern. Every time they spoke about feelings or emotions, she was quiet. A torrent of emotion was within her, but she didn't show it. Just like her sister.

    "My emotions are getting in the way. Getting in the way of everything! If I didn't feel anything when I remembered that one time, then…"

    "Hold up. Remembered what?" It was at this point that Miho might have said more than she wanted to.

    Knowing she said too much, she was silent, once again.

    Rirko figured that she wanted to talk about whatever she mentioned before, but was afraid to. Once again, they were both in a silent deadlock. Miho was waiting for him to drop the issue while Rirko was waiting for her to tell him.

    'What was she referring to? 'Remember that time?' That time. That time. Was there any point in her recent years that she was traumatized?' Then, he realized. 'Oh God, I'm so stupid!' Miho was still waiting, looking anxious.

    "You're referring to Kuromorimine, aren't you?" She flinched at the name. Her action confirmed his suspicion. 'If she's still hung up about what happened, those emotions are being bottled up. I must get her to open up. But how?'

    "Confrontation is necessary sometimes to get the intended result. Don't you agree?"​

    Darjeeling's words echoed in his mind. In the therapist's world, a confrontation was a 101 no-no, but he knew that Miho wouldn't appreciate 'beating around the bush.' And he certainly didn't want to keep her long for fear of her physical state. He would have to risk it. A 50/50 shot.

    Taking a breath, he went into the breach. "I spoke to your sister in Notojima."

    Miho was confused. 'What is he doing? Where is he going with this?' "Maho? Yes, she was there."

    "I spoke to her before while you were sleeping. She had grievances about what went down during the final match." Miho felt her heart stop. He was going to talk about 'that'?

    "Since we're about feelings, I got to understand her point of view. How she felt about the entire affair. Now the question becomes, 'how do you feel?'"

    "I…don't…"

    "You don't want to talk about it? Maho was kind enough to tell me how she felt. To fully understand the situation, all parties must be willing to contribute. If this doesn't happen, then I only have half the story. And I want the full story. You understand?"

    Miho sighed again. 'Why? Why is he talking about this? I don't want to remember. I want to forget!' But she was tongue-tied. She didn't know how to react to such a direct line of questioning.

    "Miho. I can only imagine the kind of crap you went through. It must have been horrible. All your efforts into saving those girls, the type of risk involved, you think you would be hailed as a hero. But no, you were scolded, shunned and shamed. I would be pissed off a long time ago, and you would have that right today."

    "Please stop…please."

    Rirko shook his head. "You want to get better, right? Sometimes, we do what we need to do. Are you willing to go all in?"

    Miho didn't want to be reminded of her failure. But Rirko was challenging her to do so. If she left, then she would never get better. But if she told... She was trapped.

    You could cut the tension in the room. After a few moments, Miho slowly shook her head.

    "I can't…," she mumbled to herself. "I'm not…"

    "You can't?" Rirko asked. "You can't feel? You can't be sad? You can't be happy? You can't be upset, angry? Because if I were in your position, that is what I would be feeling. Miho, you can feel these things."

    "But my friends," Miho answered, looking at him with her tear-filled eyes. "Everyone."

    "Right now, we are focused on you. This place…is not a place of judgment. No one will condemn you or think less of you. Here, you are free to express yourself in whichever way you see fit."

    Miho stared at the floor again and wiped her face with her hand. She nodded.

    "It's ok to feel these emotions you have right now. If you want to scream, then scream. If you want to swear, then by all means. If you want to cry…"

    Miho took a deep breath. Soon her expression changed from sadness to anger. With tears streaking in her face, she made a fist and raised her arm slightly. Slamming it on her leg, she did it again, with a grunt.

    And again.

    And again.

    Rirko watched as she did this. She had never shown emotion like this before. To express oneself is to be human. To say that you have no emotion would be lying to oneself. Everyone, especially the young, need an outlet; a chance to let loose and say something.

    To say, "I need help" or "I need to talk to someone." This is something that Miho obviously have not done before.

    "Why?" Miho asked in a whisper. "Why me?"

    He leaned slightly towards her.

    "Why am I feeling this way?" She looked at Rirko, awaiting an answer.

    "What are you feeling right now, Miho?"

    "I feel upset. Upset that I lost everything. Upset how everyone judged me for what I did!" As she said this, her voice was rising, and she began to breathe heavily again. "My home, my sister, who I am. Just because I wanted to save them! Why then! Why was I punished! Why was it me?!"

    At this point, she was practically yelling. Rirko did or said nothing. He simply listened.

    "Why didn't my sister defend me from mother that time?! Why does my mother treat me the way she does! Did she hate me?! Was I not supposed to save them?! Was I supposed to let them die so we can win?!"

    He continued to listen.

    "I hate this! I hate feeling like this! I want to forget about all this! But I can't! I just can't! It won't leave me alone!" Her words became mixed with sobbing.

    "Are you angry with anyone, Miho," Rirko asked in a whisper.

    "No! I don't know! I…I'm just sad and angry."

    "With who? Your mother? You sister?"

    "No!"

    "Your classmates? The girls in the tank? Who?" Rirko's voice was firm to match Miho's emotion.

    "I'm angry at myself!" she cried. "Because I didn't make the right call!" At this, she immediately sat down. She covered her face as she sobbed. Rirko reached for a tissue box and handed some over to her.

    "Because I did something that I wasn't supposed to do. But I couldn't…"

    "So, here we are. Even after all the matches with the other schools, the university, the beginning your own way of doing Sensha-dō, and reconnecting, to some degree, with your sister, you still harbour these feelings of what happened."

    Miho didn't say anything. She wiped her tears with the tissue, looked at him, and nodded. "I guess so."

    "Then is it safe to assume that you still blame yourself for what happened to you and your family?"

    Miho looked at him silently. She looked at the ground again. "Yes, I still do."

    With eyes of sadness, Rirko put his hand on her shoulder. Miho stared into his eyes.

    "Recognizing your faults, admitting to them and doing something about it. That's the easy part. The hard part is letting go."

    Drying her tears, she answered him. "Letting…go?"

    "To begin again. Let go."

    "How can I let go? If I feel this way, then how?"

    Rirko thought about it. 'She blames herself for what happened, even though it wasn't her fault. A great injustice was done, even though it's acceptable here in the east. All she wants is to be acknowledged by everyone that what she did was right. She wants…'

    "Closure."

    "Closure?"

    "You feel that this was all your fault. That you didn't make the right call. But think about it. If you didn't save those girls, they would have died."

    She nodded, confirming that fact. "Someone's daughter. Someone's cousin. Someone's sister. Someone that cares for them. You risked your life to save them not only because it was the right thing to do. Because no person with a heart would ever leave a person hanging like that."

    "No victory should cost a human life."

    "And I agree. In our western world, it's common sense. Here, however…" Rirko knew little about the differences between Eastern and Western culture. But what he did know was that everything he knew back home, was backward.

    Men were not supposed to cry. Family is above all else. Being part of a legacy is important than one's happiness. Miho was different, to be sure. She had a heart. A heart that could feel pain and sadness and shed them for others. Values and traditions meant nothing to her so long as the person in front of her was happy.

    But who was worrying about her?

    "How…how do I make them understand that?" Miho was referring to her sister and mother.

    "Simple. Just tell them."

    Miho went wide-eyed. "I can't tell them! I don't want to hurt Maho! And mother! I tried telling her, but she refused to listen! What's the point!?"

    "The point is never to quit, or give up!" Rirko answered. "You know as well as anyone to retreat is not an option. If you truly feel that you did the right thing, then you will fight for it!" Rirko wanted her to advocate for herself. To say, 'this is not right.' Playing the doormat routine didn't give her that skill. But she was going to develop it, like it or not.

    "You asked if you made the right call. We make choices each day. Some choices are so insignificant that it means nothing in the long run. And other choices so substantial, that it changes your fabric of history. During that moment, when you saw that tank go down. Who were you thinking of? Yourself, or the girls in that tank?"

    Miho had to admit that she was worried about her tank mates. She didn't think about the ramifications of her choices in the long run. So long as they were safe, that's what mattered to her.

    "You made that call because you cared when no one else did. When eastern values got in the way of common sense, you said 'to hell with all of that' and went in to save them. That takes moral courage. Those kinds of action are what defines a selfless heart. And those are the actions that define you."

    Miho was listening to him, silently. She knew she made the right choice, but needed someone else to validate her. Yukari did it for her once, but only because she sympathized with her situation. She was a friend so, of course, she would support her. But Miho needed someone with an impartial mind to come to this conclusion.

    When no one stepped forward, however, this caused her to second guess herself. That because of this, she had created for herself all the grief and pain. But, thinking back how those girls looked when she saved them. They were smiling. They were thankful. They were happy because someone cared.

    "When people concern themselves with the opinions of others, it warps them into something they are not. Stay true to yourself and the path you choose, and you will never falter. You choose your path the moment you decided to save those girls at the cost of your happiness. And with this decision, you set in motion changes that affected not only you; but the people around you. These are positive changes. Changes that your friends are thankful for. Don't sell yourself short, Miho. You've accomplished a great deal with your actions."

    "Your words, Mr. Nagasawa." Her eyes looked down again. "They're…they're too kind. I want to believe them. I truly do. I just feel…that they're wasted on me."

    Rirko heard those words before. She was inadvertently echoing Maho when he spoke with her. Now he found himself using those exact words of comfort for her sister.

    "No…I don't think so. Do your best and move forward. Isn't that the Nishizumi way?"

    She perked at the word 'Nishizumi way.' The Nishizumi style always strove to move forward, to overcome any adversity. But now, she was creating a new path forward. Not her mother's or her sister's. She was striking it out on her own. Her family legacy had laid the foundations, and now she would build upon them.

    Something new. Something that everyone can be happy for.

    Speaking to Rirko was nerve-wracking, but necessary. Miho felt much better about herself and how supportive he was of her. Even though he did things to make her uncomfortable, he challenged her to be a better person. It was this revelation that hope started to form. That, in time, she would be able to cope with what she had and move on.

    To let go.
    A/N: Well, here it is. I hope I did the counselling session, as well as the entire chapter, justice. Your reviews and comments are really appreciated. Thank you.
     
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    • Pressing Matters (Part I)
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    • Uploader's Note: Once again this is a very long chapter, and I am going to split it into two parts. The first part is here.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Major revelations ahoy. The story is moving along in its own pace. If anyone is hoping for a rushed story, I'm afraid you won't find one here. Chapters are being thought out carefully to keep the flow and facts of the story true. Please be patient. Thanks.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - School Classroom - Early Evening

    Anglerfish was still working the radios, coordinating the effort in their search for Miho when the security guard came. At first, they thought that he was there to kick them out and cited permission from Student Council to use the room. What he said next shocked them. Rirko called them. Miho was with him.

    All of them rushed to the counselor's office. When they got there, all of them burst through the door so hard; they fell over. Rirko looked at them and shook his head slowly. Miho was still sitting on her chair. Looking at her hands, her back was towards them, face hidden away. Knowing that this was a tender moment amongst friends, Rirko excused himself and walked past the girls. The door closed.

    Anglerfish and Miho. Once again, Miho had brought them into her mess, and she was incredibly guilty about it. No one knew what to say or where to begin.

    It was like Miho to take the leadership role and start things off. "You're probably wondering. How could you do this to us, Miho? Why did you leave? Don't you know we love you?"

    "That thought did cross our minds," Hana silently answered. "We were worried."

    "I know you were. My behaviour was unacceptable. I was thinking and only cared about myself. All of the things that have happened until now."

    When Miho wandered into the forest, she was fatigued; her mind being pulled in all directions by the stress and anxieties. When she came to her senses, she was lost and helplessly tried to find her way back. But she couldn't. She was alone.

    "…I was lost. I was lost and scared and didn't know what to do." She started to quiver in both fear and sadness. "When I saw that school…I thought everything would be okay. That everyone would be there. But when I got there…"

    Anglerfish realized where she was going with this. The team split themselves up to find her, so no one was there when Miho arrived. So, it was like…

    "Did you thought we abandoned you?" Hana asked. "That because we weren't there, we didn't care?"

    Once again, Miho's fear of being alone reared its ugly head. But this time, this concern was reinforced. When she called for help, there was no answer. For the entire day, it was spent wandering the forest without any sense of direction. Cold, hungry, miserable, any ordinary high-school student would have broken down and cried. But now Miho. She had a strong will, and her friends were what kept her going. It was when she found the empty Sensha-do field that she was utterly broken.

    "That's…that's no excuse for what I've done to everyone. I-" Miho was about to go on when suddenly Saori rushed in front of her and hugged her. Miho was taken aback. Saori looked at her with eyes of sadness.

    "Miporin. Miporin, why would think that we would ever leave you?"

    They were kind words of reassurance. But, no matter how many times it was repeated, Miho always believed in that small chance that they would leave her in a mere instant.

    "Because…it happened to me before." Letting go, Saori stayed knelt while the rest of the girls surrounded her. It wasn't going to be easy to relay her darkest fear to her friends.

    "I thought I had friends. My sister, my teammates. During my time at Kuromorimine, I thought I had made bonds with those girls. We loved each other. No matter what, we would support one another. But, after that match…"

    Everyone gave their utmost attention. Miho swallowed hard and continued to speak. "After that match, there was no one who supported me. My entire school turned their back on me. My 'friends' too. Even my own sister. Because…because I did something wrong? Something that I wasn't supposed to do?!"

    Her saving the team instead of striving for victory was out of the norm. Her school and teammates shunned her for fear of retribution. Her sister ignored her for the sake of the 'Nishizumi style.' She was her lone island; a black sheep amongst the hundreds of others who thought victory was more important than life.

    "I know everyone cares about me. I know that. I just…don't want to be alone like that again. Not again. So how?"

    "How do you know the same thing won't happen here…" Hana was perceptive. She and Anglerfish realized that Miho had been burnt once. Miho trusted them and thought of them as friends. But, she went down that path before, and it hurt her when it mattered the most. They finally understood the pain she went through. Rejection and shame. It happened in Kuromorimine. It could happen in Oarai.

    "That won't happen, Miss Nishizumi. And I'll tell you why." Yukari had a stern voice. She and the other girls felt the same way. Angry and sad that something like this happened to a compassionate and strong-willed person like Miho. "You have shown everyone, not only us, how much you care. You shed tears, risked your life and even endured pain because you didn't want to lose anyone. Do you earnestly believe us to be that shallow? That we would abandon someone with such honour, courage and commitment to their teammates and friends?"

    It was right that Miho showed these to her teammates. But to Miho, they were more than that. This was her real self; all that she was. She shook her head slowly. Putting her hand on her shoulder, Yukari firmly pressed her point.

    "No matter what happens. No matter what trial everyone goes through. We will always be there for you. I believe in you. We believe in you. The team believes in you. So, please. Believe in us. That the loneliness that you felt will never happen here."

    So strong of Miho's fear of abandonment that at every turn, she questioned Anglerfish's commitment to her. But, what Yukari was saying made sense. She didn't have faith because she was afraid it would happen. She was expecting it to happen. The words that Yukari spoke made her realize that the doom she feared would never come. So long as her friends were by her side.

    She cried aloud, relieved that her traumatic experience wouldn't happen. Giving herself in Saori's arms, it seemed that her experience today was nothing more than a bad dream. Her cries were contagious for Anglerfish started to cry with her.

    After a solid five minutes, everyone gained composure and decided to head over to the empty classroom where Anglerfish set up the communications hub. As they exited the room, Rirko was leaning against a wall, with his arm folded and his eyes closed.

    "Is he sleeping?" Mako asked. "Because if he is, I wanna learn how to do that."

    Suddenly, Rirko slowly opened his eyes. "I was resting…"

    "What's the difference?"

    "Never mind." Rirko wasn't going to go into a conversation about sleep with Mako. It would have been a lost cause. "Are you all squared-away?"

    Hana and Saori had blank looks. "Huh?"

    Yukari explained. "He means if everything is alright. Isn't that correct, Mr. Nagasawa?" He nodded his head.

    "Where are you girls going?"

    Hana took the lead. "Right after we let the other teams know about Miho, we'll be heading over to my place. It's not too far from here."

    "Alright then. I'm glad your safe, Miho. You're among friends."

    Miho blushed. "I know. I'm with good friends."

    "Alright. Off you all go then." Satisfied with their answers, Rirko let them leave together. He then opened his phone.
    "Found her." Rirko was talking to Ami on his cellphone. There was a sigh of relief on the other end.

    "Thank God! I thought we were screwed for sure!"

    "She looked worse for wear too be sure when entering my office. I was able to talk to her before her friends did. I think they wrapped it up quite nicely."

    "Good. She's lucky she has friends like those girls."

    "I know. Very fortunate. I hope that there won't be any more drama for the rest of the night."

    "Where is she now?"

    "She's with Anglerfish. They're going to relay about Miho's whereabouts to the rest of the team and then head over to Hana's."

    "Well, as long as she's with someone. I'm still concerned though. You sure she wasn't badly hurt?"

    "I didn't see any serious injuries other than a few scratches and dirt on her. I think it was more emotional exhaustion than physical."

    "I'll give her credit. She was able to survive an entire day out in the woods. A normal high-schooler would have crawled up into a ball."

    "But, of course, Miho isn't a normal student. Is she?"

    "Nope. But I'm glad she's not." If they didn't find Miho or she was in a critical state, then things would have been different. There was a lull before Ami spoke up again.

    "So…what are you going to do now?"

    "Well. I was thinking of going for sushi. There's a nice place in town that I wanted to go to. And I'm pretty much-done work, and it's not that late so…"

    Another lull in the conversation. 'What does this lady…wait…oh…OHHH.' "You wouldn't want to…I don't know…uh."

    Ami giggled. "You're bad at this, aren't you?"

    "Well, I've never done it before so. Yeah, you wanna join me?"

    "Sure. I'll meet you there. I think I know which place you're talking about. It's the only place nearby."

    "See you in an hour." Closing his phone, he sighed. Here he thought he was going to have a nice, quiet dinner. But, when Ami's around, he had to make sure she got home without wrecking the place in the process.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Hana's Apartment – Evening

    When Anglerfish delivered the news about Miho's safety, all comms went wild with cheers. They were all happy that Miho was found. Miho didn't know it, but the entire team skipped practice to fan out and search for her. That's why the field was empty when she arrived. She wanted to cry but held it in. She had shed enough tears for one day.

    Yukari took Miho's key and headed back to her apartment, to grab her medication and a change in clothes. The rest of Anglerfish prepared dinner, with Saori's instruction, of course. They were able to catch some quick ingredients on the way over, but nevertheless, the dinner was fantastic. As they ate, Miho couldn't help but smile. She now knew that regardless of what circumstances she's in, she wouldn't be abandoned by anyone from Oarai.

    They had pledged their loyalty to her. The girls stayed up after dinner and just talked about random things until…

    "Something interested happened in Notojima," Yukari said. Everyone was watching as she told her story. "It was while Miss Nishizumi and I were getting ready. She was in the shower when the door knocked."
    Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Room – Morning – YESTERDAY

    The door knocked. 'I wonder who it could be?' Yukari, already in her Oarai uniform, opened the door. She found Nonna and Katyusha standing there. Katyusha was fidgeting with her fingers.

    "Miss Nonna? Miss Katyusha? Good to see you. I hope you are well."

    Katyusha looked at Yukari. "Where's Mihosha?"

    "I'm afraid she's in the shower right now, getting ready for the trip home. Can I help you in any way?"

    Katyusha was flustered. "No! I mean, y-yes. I…" For a second, she looked towards Nonna, who gave an encouraging nod. "Listen…um…"

    "Yukari."

    "I knew that, Nonna!" She turned back to Yukari. "I'm here. I wanted to…apologize for what happened yesterday."

    "For an accident?" Yukari was confused. "Why are you apologizing?"

    "I…I didn't see you and…and…"

    "Katyusha, you're doing fine, keep going," Nonna reassured her what she was doing was the right course of action.

    "I know that Nonna! Stop interrupting!" Sighing, she turned back to Yukari. "I…ordered my gunner to shoot while your girl was still there. If…if I had known…"

    Katyusha started to shake a little. 'She's probably going to yell at me now.' Instead, Yukari smiled.

    "Thank you for letting me know. I'll be sure to pass on the message to Leopon."

    "No message, necessary. H-Here." She took an envelope out of her pocket. It was addressed as 'Oarai Team.' "This is an apology letter. I didn't know which team to address it to, so…"

    Yukari took the note. "I'll be sure to deliver it to them. Your apology is greatly appreciated. Thank you." With that, Yukari took a slight bow.

    "Y-yeah." Katyusha and Nonna bowed as well. Katyusha then ran to the other end of the hallway. Nonna smiled.

    "It took her a lot of strength to do that. I'm very impressed."

    "She's not usually like this, is she? What happened?"

    Nonna began to take her leave. "You have your counsellor to thank for her change in disposition. I just hope that it will stick." As she went, Yukari wondered about the entire exchange. How the arrogant and proud Katyusha started to change a little to a humble and considerate person.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Hana's Apartment – Evening – PRESENT

    All parties looked with surprise. Even Miho "Wait, Katyusha did that?!" Yukari smiled and nodded.

    "Did Leopon get the letter?"

    "I delivered it to them," Yukari explained. "When they received it, they were in tears. They promised me they would give it to Hoshino."

    Hana wondered, "do they have any ill will towards Pravda?"

    "No. It was an accident. She didn't know. And yet."

    "Katyusha believed it was her fault," Miho pondered. "But for her to apologize like that. It's not easy."

    "Did Mr. Nagasawa speak with Katyusha? When?" Saori wanted to know how he could convince a person like Katyusha to change, let alone hold a conversation with her.

    "I don't know. But, it's like they say. 'Words are powerful.'"

    Miho couldn't help but agree. Words were indeed powerful. It had the power to change a person's mood or even their frame of mind. Used for good or ill, it could potentially change people for the better or for, the worse.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Sushi Shop – Evening

    "Table for two. Thanks."

    The waitress bowed and escorted them to a booth. As both sat down, each of them felt an uneasiness.

    'It's just dinner. So, why do I feel stressed?' But he knew the answer already. For all intent purposes, it was a date. Both knew that. Ami, still in her dress uniform, looked around the restaurant. As they watched over what they wanted, Ami started the conversation.

    "Is this your first time?"

    Rirko sipped on some water. "First time, what?"

    "First time on a date, duh!" He almost spat out but was able to drink instead.

    "If you must know…yeah. It is."

    "Funny…same with me." Rirko stared at her for a moment. Didn't Ami have a boyfriend? Looking at her now, through a different lens, he couldn't see any reason why any man would not see her approachable. She was not only good looking, but she had her charms and wit as well. As for himself. Not much to offer.

    The two scoured the menus. Once they decided, Rirko held up his hand to signal the waiter. Ami suddenly burst out laughing.

    "What?"

    "Is that how you call a waiter where you're from?" Ami then stood up and raised her hand. She then shouted, "Suman!" The waiter soon came swiftly and took their orders. Once finished, he quickly returned to his station.

    Rirko couldn't help but notice the difference. "That's how you call a waiter?"

    "That's how you have to call a waiter. Either your deaf or didn't you notice the amount of noise that's here?"

    He didn't want to point it out, but it was loud. But, he assumed it was just the nightlife. "I thought it was like that all the time."

    "Even when dead, you still got to call them the same way. It's the only way they'll respond." Rirko then thought he was lucky to have Ami. If he didn't, he would have had his hand up all night. However, it was a perfect segue into another conversation; one that he felt would benefit him.

    "There's a lot I don't know about Eastern cultures. When I got here, I just made sure I knew the bare minimum. Maybe I should take an effort to learn some more."

    "I could teach you," Ami suggested. Rirko, looking at her, noticed a serious look. "I mean if that would help you."

    "It would. Especially with that workshop coming up."

    "Workshop? First time I heard of it."

    "Yeah." Taking a sip of water, he continued. "So, the Japan Mental Health Initiative wants me to attend this workshop, citing the difference between Eastern and Western culture in mental health."

    "I heard about that. The J.M.H.I raised a stink in the Federation. They were one of the groups who advocated for the counsellor rule."

    "I'm in talks with Ibuki Sawa, the regional head. I have to send her an e-mail about what I'll be covering."

    "Sounds like fun."

    "Well, it would be. If it wasn't for the venue."

    "Oh?" Ami was surprised. Why would he worry about where it would be taking place? "You know the Student Council will take care of transportation, right?"

    "Transportation is not the problem. Remember, the venue." He leaned towards her. "It's at Kuromorimine."

    She became wide-eyed at that fact. "Oh shit."

    "Yeah. So, I'm expected to talk in front of the shakers of the Sensha-do Federation. So, you'll know who's going to be there. Especially, when it's home field."

    Ami moaned. "Shiho. Oh, that sucks to be you."

    "Oh no! Really?" Rirko said, in a sarcastic tone. Ami smiled and nodded.

    "You better get cracking on knowing those differences. Otherwise, Shiho will have your head on a platter."

    "Figuratively or literally?"

    "She's not that crazy, Rir. Come on." It was a small tic, but Rirko noticed it. Just now, she called him 'Rir'. Was it some sort of endearment, or something more? The food came, and it looked appealing, to say the least. As they ate, they continued their conversation.

    "East vs West. That's what Ibuki liked to call it. And rightfully so. Our core values in the West are so much different than the East."

    "That's true. Maybe that's why you have a problem with Shiho and this whole 'situation?'"

    That statement gave Rirko pause. He had never considered culture differences the reason for the Nishizumi drama.

    "Think about it, Rir. Shiho was raised in a traditional family. That's the most Eastern you're going to get. Is it any wonder why Miho and Maho were raised the way they were?"

    "I can see that her parenting style is based on Eastern values. But surely, she would have seen the emotional ramifications of her actions."

    She shook her head. "To her, the only thing important to her is family. To keep the Nishizumi legacy alive. That's her responsibility. She has a one-track mind. Everything else is just noise to her."

    "So, my talk about emotions and feelings…"

    "Would be just noise. Yes." That was a blow for Rirko. He thought he could have instructed her on emotional distress but if what Ami was saying correct, she wouldn't care.

    "Sorry to burst your bubble like that. That's how we do things here."

    "I've noticed. Obey all orders without question. Family comes first. Hide all emotions. Preserve the family lineage. These are the things that I've learnt when talking to Miho and Maho. God, it must suck to live here."

    "But if you were born here, then it would be totally normal." Ami was halfway done her meal. Rirko was slowly getting there. "They would see the West as the place 'where it must suck' to live."

    All this time, Rirko focused on the Western values, but Ami helped him realize that he was on their turf. He would have to understand and play by their rules. However, he instilled some Western values to not only the staff but the students as well. What did this mean for Miho and Maho and their family?

    This discussion was giving Rirko another lens to consider. He was so set in his ways; he didn't notice the other paths that were in front of him. He started to second-guess himself. "What have I been saying to these girls…are they wrong?"

    "Hell no. You're right about all the things you said. It's just the fact that for the longest time, they've been doing things one way. You've given them an opportunity to explore another. That's what you're supposed to be doing in life. Exploring and discovering new things! Don't feel bad because you just realized you weren't respecting our way of life. You've been experiencing and embracing our ways ever since you came here."

    Ami was correct in that assumption. Slowly, Rirko found himself doing things that he didn't see himself doing back home. Bowing respectfully, table manners, no tripping, etc. While he embraced some aspects, it didn't mean he agreed with some of them.

    "Look at Oarai. You notice how the moral committee doesn't crack down on dress code. That's because when they tried conformity, it blew back right in their face. They accepted that everyone had a characteristic they wanted to share. It's because of Miho. She showed the girls it was okay to be different. If she wasn't here…"

    "Everyone would look and act the same." It was the social norm. No student wanted to stick out like a sore thumb. To be called out, because of a difference in appearance.

    Or perhaps a difference in ideology.

    Ami continued. "When tourists travel, they're treated like D-level celebrities. People want pictures, shout to get your attention, and other crazy crap people do. They stick out. They want to meet someone different because it's interesting."

    Rirko was surprised that he wasn't mauled as soon his plane reached Japan. Maybe, because he dressed like a typical Japanese business salaryman that they left him alone?

    "When a foreigner acts the way they do, people are attracted and excited about that. But, when your average Japanese person tries to be different..."

    "Fear, rejection and shame." Now, Rirko understood the impact of culture. It was because Miho acted out beyond what was socially acceptable. She was expected to follow all orders and traditions. But when she did something so unprecedented, so absurd, Shiho and the entirely of Kuromorime shunned her. Could he blame them? It went against everything they were taught.

    "You gonna eat that?" Rirko's thoughts were shattered by Ami's voice. She was asking if she could have the rest of his sushi.

    "Uh…no. I lost my appetite."

    Taking a sushi from his plate, Ami knew that he was shook by this revelation. "I know this is something you don't want to hear. This may, in fact, unravel everything you knew about Eastern culture. But it doesn't mean it will remain constant."

    "What do you mean?"

    "You encouraged the team to support each other. How does a team get together? Normally by running drills and striving out of necessity. But what is Miho doing? Get to know your teammates, grow together, learn, teach one another. All her ideas stem from the fact she just wants to have fun. No family obligations, or worrying about other people. Having fun. And I'm sure having fun in a sport at the end of it all is not an Eastern norm."

    Society, East or West, is ever changing. Like a gem, it is polished and cut to make it even better than before. It was a process, to be sure. It took time and sometimes progress moved at a snail's pace. But it improved.

    Ami had flipped his entire way of thinking upside down. But, it was necessary. It made Rirko realize that all this time he had broken a cardinal rule of therapy: to keep a holistic view on all aspects of the situation. He had painted Shiho as a stone-faced, maniacal, disciplinarian with no heart or soul. But this opinion was based on his Western views.

    To truly understand the Nishizumi family, he would have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

    "Goddamn it, Ami." Rirko wore a weary expression. "I guess there's some more work that needs to be done. If I truly want to know the truth, I must give everyone an opportunity. Even…her."

    Ami, who finished Rirko's plate, sighed. "Making sure you have reliable, and all intelligence is part of any strategy. It gives you a chance to plug up any holes in your case. People don't think like you, Rir. You understand that, right?"

    Rirko nodded. He was grateful to Ami for her advice. Had he gone to the workshop on how the Sensha-do Federation should act accordingly to Western ideals, he would have been shot down by all those present. Shiho would have relished in that fact.

    "Enough of the gloomy chatter!" Ami called the waiter over. "Two of your finest beers, sir!"

    Sighing, Rirko resigned the fact he would have to be a drinking partner whether he liked it or not.

    "Fine. But I am not hauling your drunk ass home, got that?!"

    Ami grinned a mischievous smile.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Hana's Apartment – Night

    The girls were getting ready for bed. Like Miho, Hana had to move around a few things before each girl was nice and comfortable. However, it was cosy for them. No one complained about it. Tomorrow would be another day. As each girl prepared for sleep, their thoughts were on Miho. She wasn't alone, but rather in the middle of everyone.

    Each girl said their goodnights to one another. Weary of all the excitement, it didn't take long for them to sleep.

    The events of the day rolled in her mind, as she tried to get to sleep. How she got lost, how Rirko made her come to grips with her situation with her family and how her friends would be there, no matter what. Thinking about how her friends and teammates supported her made her heart go pitter-patter. She liked the feeling.

    Her eyes began to become heavy. Although rested, she was still exhausted from the day. Surrounded by her dear friends, she allowed herself to fall asleep.
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    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning – NEXT DAY

    Rirko's night with Ami was an interesting one. She drunk five beers before acting crazy. He quickly paid the tab and hailed a cab. Looking into her purse, he found an address to her place. After being dropped off, he escorted Ami to her apartment and was able to open the door. All the while, she was yelling off lyrics of favourite songs.

    Ami was utterly shit-faced when Rirko left. He gently laid her out on the couch. She was already passed out at that point. He wanted to get out as soon as humanly possible. He had never done that in his life and was hoping it was his last. Escorting a woman back into her apartment was nerve-racking. That, and finding his own way home.

    Arriving late at night and waking up early didn't help his mood. Although the sun was out, he still felt horrible. He started to work on his e-mail to Ibuki:
    Hello Ibuki,

    I wanted to write to you about the various topics I wish to cover. Please let me know what you think -
    He only got to that point when someone knocked on the door. Sighing, he knew he had to answer. "Come in!"

    The door opened. A timid, shy young woman with white hair walked in. Her short stature couldn't be overlooked. "Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Himiko. Himiko Yasagana, right?" She nodded. Closing the door behind her, she sat down on a chair. He got up and walked towards her. Sitting down, she noticed that she was staring right at him.

    "So, Himiko. What can I do for you?" This was the first time talking to Himiko. She usually kept to herself during meetings and other events. She was a whisper in the school, and no one really knew about her. She kept on staring.

    "Are you okay?" Suddenly, her eyes filled up with tears, and she started to cry.

    'Oh boy, here comes the waterworks.' Sitting down, he grabbed a napkin box and offered it to her. She took some, wiping some tears away.

    "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just…overwhelmed, that's all."

    "What's causing the problem?"

    She sighed. "I don't think I'm cut out to be a teacher."

    "How come? What makes you say that?"

    "I don't know! The students are nice, but the amount of work involved it's too much."

    "How much is your caseload?"

    "Sixty students."

    'That's two classrooms of thirty students each!' "Two full caseloads? That's gotta be tough."

    Himiko sighed. "When I got the job at Oarai, I thought it would be straightforward. But, when the school year began, the work kept on piling up! The students are great, don't get me wrong. I'm just doing a lot of marking and lesson plans and classroom management…"

    "So, regular teacher stuff, I see. Do you have admin support?"

    "I…I didn't ask for it."

    Rirko raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So, the headmistress or your department head doesn't know? Which begs the question: does anyone else know?" She shook her head slowly.

    "We are, what, three months into the school year. You're telling me that you've been handling two full student caseloads by yourself without any support whatsoever?!" Himiko shrugged.

    "And, you decided to tell someone about your problems now, because?"

    "I'm sorry…"

    Rirko shook his head slowly. "Himiko. I'm not upset, and I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to be able to do your job. So, please. Tell me."

    "I…I didn't want to burden anyone."

    'Where did I hear that before?' She was reminded how Miho did the exact same thing. How she said nothing to avoid the confrontation with others. "I can see that you are an individual that cares. Perhaps you care so much that it has started to affect you. Surely, someone must have noticed."

    "W-Well, some people…" She trailed off. Looking anxious, Rirko knew she wasn't telling him everything.

    "Who? Do you know?"

    "Well…some other teachers from the history department."

    "How many teachers in that department?"

    "Five, six. Including the department head."

    "And what are the comments they make?"

    "They ask if I'm okay with everything. It used to be the odd time but now…I think they know. I didn't say anything to them."

    "But you did."

    Himiko was confused. "What? How?"

    "Your non-verbals, Himiko. The lips can say 'I'm fine' but your facial expressions, body language, even how you unconsciously react to things. People pick up on these quirks; they're not stupid."

    "I know they're not stupid! It's just…I…I don't know how to put this."

    "Try your best. We got time."

    Taking a moment, Himiko tried to find the words to describe her situation. "I just don't want them to think I'm useless. I mean, I've only been teaching for two years now. If I ask for help…"

    "…people will think you're an idiot and shouldn't teach?" She nodded her head. "That's a very juvenile way to think, isn't it?" Himiko stared at him.

    "I don't know everything. If I don't know something, I ask a person who does. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Everyone needs a little help once and a while. It doesn't make you useless."

    Himiko's fear of asking for help because of what others may think. That's what kept her from seeking help in the first place.

    "Always learn from your mistakes and move on. If you are overwhelmed, you'll be surprised at how much talking to someone helps. Especially, if it's someone who can provide you with support. The support that you need."

    She sighed. It sounded like she was getting a lecture. But it made sense. She needed assistance, pure and simple. Himiko's problem was like Miho. She wanted help but didn't ask for it because of what might happen. Loss of respect, ridicule of abilities, or even shouting.

    "Your department head should be your go-to for concerns like this. That, and your colleagues as well."

    "I-I can't go to the department head! What happens-"

    "Who's your department head?"

    "Um…Miss Rikia Ruta?"

    "Come on. We'll go see her. Together. No excuses."

    Resigned to follow him and not wanting to upset him by refusing, the pair made their way to the History department. Himiko stared at the door.

    "I…I don't really…"

    Rirko knocked on the door. "Come in!" A firm, but gentle voice answered. As he grabbed the door handle, he looked at Himiko and gestured his head towards the room. He entered, and so did he.

    Inside the history department, there were desks full of papers and textbooks. Sitting near the windowsill, was the old Miss Ruta.

    "Himiko-chan? And, Mr. Nagasawa as well. Seems that we have guests today." Ruta spoke with a gentle, but firm tone. "So, what brings the two of you to me?"

    Rirko gestured Himiko to speak. "Miss Ruta…I..."

    "Yes, Himiko-chan? What is it?"

    Tears started streaming down her face, and she suddenly dropped to the floor. "I…I need help. I'm sorry but please!"

    "Himiko-chan." Getting up, she walked slowly with a cane. She patted her head and smiled. "I was wondering when you were going to say something."

    Himiko looked up and wiped her tears. Rirko wasn't surprised. A woman with her experience would have picked up on her distress so easily.

    For the next half hour, Himiko poured out to Miss Ruta with her struggles with grading, assignments and classroom management. Taking on two full classrooms was a daunting task. As she spoke, Ruta listened attentively. When Himiko finished, she smiled once again.

    "Himiko-chan. I know the feeling. Because I've been there. It's only your second year here. Don't think for even a second that you are alone in the education of these young minds. Like I stated in the department meeting, we are all here to support one another. Don't be afraid to ask for help. No more of this solo nonsense, understand?"

    Himiko nodded. "Yes. Sensei."

    Ruta laughed at the thought. "I was your sensei long ago. Now, we are both sisters in education. Grab your plans. I wish to see what you've been doing."

    Bowing, she swiftly walked out of the room. Rirko turned to leave.

    "Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Hmm?" He turned to see Ruta smiling.

    "Thank you for looking after Himiko-chan. Understand that she wanted to be reliable. That's why she took more than she could carry. This will only prove a valuable lesson."

    "Everyone makes mistakes. It's what you do afterwards that counts."

    Ruta pondered a bit. "Yes…Mr. Nagasawa. I've been around this school a long time. This year will be my last. I am only asking but try to engage more with the staff here."

    "Oh? And why should I do that?"

    "I hear nothing but good things about you. While initially surprised by your different ways, the staff have come to respect you and your different way of thinking. Especially the students. While we don't agree with all of them, we do agree that a new breath of life in our school is what was needed."

    "You're too kind."

    "Listen. We have a social coming up next month. I don't need an answer right away. Give it some thought. Let me know when you can."

    "Thanks for the invite. I'll let you know." Giving a slight bow, he left the office. The praise received helped Rirko figure out where he stood with the rest of the staff.

    'So, I'm not overly hated. I get a few smiles from students and teachers here and there. But, I never knew if I made an impact. I help them solve their problems and come up with solution benefiting them. So, why do I feel that my ears are burning?'

    Deep down, he thought that the staff were saying things behind their smiles. Being paranoid didn't help his social life. And he wasn't keen on going to a social where he was the only guy. But Ruta's endorsement meant something. He could see from afar, but she was an influential member of the entire school. Her words held so much respect that even the headmistress heeded her words sometimes. Her name was worth its currency.

    Rirko decided to put the problem on the back-burner. There were many other pressing matters to attend to.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Cafeteria – Noon

    Miho and the rest of the girls were sitting down for lunch when the tank commanders approached them. All of them.

    There were a lot of hugs, words of encouragement and advice. Lots and lots of advice. Miho took it all in, knowing that they were only looking after her well-being. They also wanted to eat with her, to discuss adopting different battle tactics for situations. And, to run safety drills, once again. The whole affair with Hoshino was still fresh on their minds. Especially for Nakajima.

    Jotting down notes, Yukari took the bare basics. Each commander was to make a draft for 'rules of engagement.' At the next meeting, they would decide which plan was the best and draft it to make it the official word for Oarai's Sensha-do team. As Yukari was finalizing the time and date for the next commander's meeting, Caesar took an opportunity to speak up.

    "Miho. You've been through so much. More than any of us altogether. Believe me when I say that each of us is concerned about you. If you have a problem, come to anyone of us, and we'll help as best we can."

    "I agree," Noriko said with a grin. "This is a team effort! No 'I' in team!"

    Nakajima dried some tears away. "You saved our friend, Miho. I mean, come on! We have to make it up to you! Whatever you need, say the word."

    Each commander said, to an effect, the same thing. Miho would before listen, be happy, and then question their sincerity. But now that she knew that such a thing would never happen in Oarai, she was touched by the words being said. They were sincere. They would do everything in their power to help her, and the team succeed. Although the cloud of worry hanged above their heads, none of them said anything as to not ruin the mood.

    The meeting ended on a high note. As each tank commander departed, Anglerfish in its entirely was the last group to stay.

    Yukari noticed Miho's troubled face. "What's wrong, Miss Nishizumi? Shouldn't you be happy?"

    Miho was happy for her team rallied with her. But, she felt guilty. "It's nice of them. But I just feel so bad that I…didn't trust them."

    The emotional scarring at Kuromorimine left Miho with trust issues. Afraid of a repeat, she distanced herself even from her friends. But now, with her friends' support, she wanted to feel it was genuine and believe in their good intentions.

    "Miporin, it takes a while to gain trust. Even though we've been through a lot, we're still a new team. Don't feel bad about not trusting them fully."

    "Everyone has their secrets, Miho." Hana sat beside her. "When people trust each other, it's because of the bond they share is unique."

    "So, create bonds with them?"

    "You've been saying for the teams to get to know them. Now, maybe you should take your own advice?"

    Her friends were right. Trusting people took a great deal of time. It was easy to break trust, but it was harder to obtain or regain it.

    "What are you going to do, Miho?" Mako asked, curiously. "What can we do to help?"

    Surprised that Mako was the one to ask such a profound question, Miho had to think about it. She would just settle for their company for now. "Just be there for me. Please?" Nodding collectively, the bell rang for classes to begin once again.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Afternoon

    After school, the teams assembled as usual. Rirko took his place at the watchtower, overseeing the training session. Although they won one match and drew in the other, Oarai still had some ways to go before the tournament began again. As the teams formed up, Rirko saw Ami at a distance walking slowly.

    He didn't want to talk to her, especially regarding last night. He overlooked the team and pretended he was in thought. But then, in the corner of his eye, he saw Ami looking guilty. She was walking slower and slower as she approached him. It seemed that the feeling was mutual.

    "Rir?" Rirko looked over at Ami, who she was now face-to-face. It was a guilty look.

    "Listen, Rir. I'm…sorry about last night."

    No shit you are. "Well, it's done, right?"

    Ami shook her head. "When I woke up, I had a bad hangover. Couldn't get out of my place until the afternoon. Then I wondered, 'how did I get home?' The last thing I remembered was drinking a lot and hanging out with you."

    He would have to talk about it. "Huh. You were totally shit-faced when we left the place."

    "Shit-faced?"

    "Drunk."

    "Oh."

    "Anyways, I paid for the tab and hailed a cab to pick us up. I couldn't exactly leave you alone, so I searched in your purse for an address. When I found an envelope with a return address, I told the driver where to go."

    As Rirko was recollecting the events, Ami made a thinking pose and looking directly at him.

    "Getting to the door, I used your key to open it. I called if anyone else was there, which no one was. I took you over to your couch where I laid you down and got the hell out of dodge. Look, I'm sorry for touching your stuff, entering your place without permission and make you look like a victim of date rape. Forgive me."

    Finishing his story, he waited for Ami's response. She looked like she wore a variety of emotions. Mostly guilt. As she spoke, it looked like she was holding back tears.

    "Damn it, Rir. If you weren't there, I would still be passed out on the front steps of that restaurant. I should never have gotten so out of control. God damn it!" Rirko saw she was upset about it.

    "Take it as a life lesson. Always have a plan in place. Alternative accommodations, friends to go to after a night out. We didn't exactly have a plan; it was a spur of a moment kind of thing."

    "Yeah…yeah. I get it." Sighing, Ami still felt guilty about the entire affair. "I can't apologize enough for my behaviour. Especially, not towards a friend."

    'Friend, huh?' Before, her relationship was strictly professional. Now, it seemed the relationship had taken a different turn. And he did not like it.

    "It's over, Ami. Like I said, learn from it and move on."

    Sighing, she accepted it. "Alright. Thank you, Rir." Bowing, she climbed up the ladder of the watchtower.

    "What a mess." Saying this under his breath, Rirko had to deal with a depressed Ami and what appears to be a budding relationship.
    Oarai Carrier's Ship – Hoshino's House – Evening

    "I've been better."

    Leopon visited Hoshino at her house. Still recovering from the accident, she was in a sling, her sides bandaged up and were bed-ridden. When the girls read the letter for Hoshino, she wept a little for she never blamed Katyusha for her situation. The girls wanted to write her back once everything was back to normal.

    "Just get a lot of rest, okay?" Nakajima, with Suzuki and Tsuchiya, tried to make her as comfortable as possible. "You'll be up and about before you know it!"

    Hoshino chuckled lightly, then buckled under the pain. Before any of the girls could rush in, she stopped them. "Sorry. It's still too early to be up and about. Besides, mom wouldn't want me on the field, anyways."

    Tsuchiya didn't like the tone. "What do you mean?"

    "After I got discharged, mom and I got into a fight about Sensha-do. She would still allow me to do maintenance but riding in a tank? Forget about it."

    It was to be expected. Suzuki sighed. "Her daughter almost died out there. I don't blame her."

    "Well, she can't keep me from the team! I'll sneak out if I have too!" Hoshino was fired up, but in no condition to move.

    "Calm down, Hoshino. You don't want to crack more bones." Nakajima fluffed her pillow and made sure that she was comfortable.

    "I don't want to stay here for long. I want to be able to fix tanks and hang out with you guys. And…to thank Miho."

    The girls sighed. "We still haven't told you about Miho, did we?" Hoshino shook her head. "Then I'll explain."

    As Nakajima explained the events that unfolded, Hoshino started to tear up again. Remembering an event so traumatic was devastating. But she had a strong will and was determined to get better. At the end of it, Hoshino was in disbelief.

    "So, you're telling me that Nagasawa suspended her because of her 'condition?' Hoshino sighed and reflected on her actions. "If I hadn't gotten out of the tank to try to repair it. You told me so, Nakajima."

    Nakajima gave her the order to stay in the tank and take the loss, but Hoshino was stubborn and thought she could get in and out quickly. Apparently, that wasn't the case.

    "And now, I'm paying for it being stuck in here. With mom telling me not to go into a tank again and god knows how long I have to recover."

    "Be patient. I know waiting is not your thing, but it's gonna have to be." Suzuki tried to be realistic. "The more you do things, the longer it will take to heal. So, just relax."

    "Fine…I'll try." Hoshino didn't like the fact that she was stuck in her house. But, at least she was with friends who cared. Leopon was together again; albeit minus one.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Evening

    The last couple of days gave Rirko pause. Thinking about the Eastern and Western values, he potentially may have painted Shiho wrong. She was only doing what she thought was right. According to social norms, it was acceptable.

    "But it doesn't make it right."

    Sitting in the living room, Rirko thought about what kind of case he could give to the Sensha-do officials not only in lessening the restrictions on Sensha-do practitioners, but also embrace new ways of doing things. Miho's leadership and Oarai's ascension in the world of Sensha-do fanned the flames of change. Not only in Japan, but also in other parts of the world. Tankery, as Sensha-do was called there, had now been created as an official sport.

    Some rules were different, however, as the tanks used were not restricted to world war tanks. Modern tanks were acceptable. Free-for-all matches were one of the playing styles. Now there were talks amongst the universities to make it into a program. What would be next? A career in Tankery? A lifestyle?

    And it all started when one girl did the right thing, only to be punished for it. Rather than fade into obscurity, she forged herself a new path and brought life into a dying sport. Everyone in the Sensha-do Federation, even in the entire world, owed her a debt of gratitude. But knowing the type of person Miho was, Rirko figured she wouldn't like the worldwide attention.

    Feeling tired, Rirko decided to lay down on the couch for a while and processed everything that happened the last couple of days. He had a new lens to see the Eastern world with, a relationship was forming between him and Ami, and Miho was dealing with some high-level anxiety that without her friends' support, would have been screwed a long time ago. He laughed at the irony on how the girl that changed the world through her actions, who suffered ridicule and jeers at the hands of her old school with a smile, was suddenly felled by fear and sadness because of trauma caused by her own school and family.

    People who thought less of mental illness would find it laughable. But when suffering through it, one wonders how they could go on living.

    "Friends, support, love. Love is the most important thing." Rirko said this aloud so he would remember how even from the pit of despair, someone could climb out. Miho would need these things, and more, to move on with her life. Like it or not, she was no doubt destined for great things.

    "I have to help her. Help them. I have no choice." Resolving to solve the Nishizumi mystery, Rirko closed his eyes. He would help Miho. He had too. For she had a lot riding on her shoulders for one so small and great.
    Kuromorimine Carrier Ship – Nishizumi Residence – Night

    O, broad valleys, O heights,

    O, beautiful, green woods,

    Devoted place

    Of my desires and sorrows!

    Out there, in constant betrayal,

    Pounds the tawdry mart.

    Draw, once more, around me

    Your canopy of green!

    When the dawn is breaking,

    The earth steams and gleams,

    The birds fly merrily past,

    As one's heart resounds:

    There, dull, earthly sorrows

    Pass and fade

    There, one can rise again

    In youthful splendour.

    There, the wood prescribes

    A quiet, serious word

    Of proper life and conduct

    And what belongs to man.

    I have read in my devotion

    The words so plain and true

    And, surging through my being,

    They became inexpressibly clear.

    Soon, I shall leave you,

    A stranger entering foreign lands

    By way of well-used paths,

    Where the theatre of life is seen;

    And, in the midst of life,

    The power of your solemnity

    Will raise me from seclusion

    And my heart will never age.

    Maho couldn't sleep. One of the things that helped her relax was to read German literature. At random, she picked up her literature textbook and read random poems. She came across 'Abschied' by Joseph von Eichendorff. As she read, she began to feel very depressed.

    Abschied translated to 'farewell.'

    And how fitting, after everything that had happened in her family, that she was reading of one's departure to foreign lands for one reason or another. Miho, with her difference in ideology, had been cast out to a foreign land and Maho had a hand in her departure. Perhaps Rirko was right. If she had said something, Miho would have stayed, and she wouldn't be alone.

    Maho shook off the thought. She couldn't afford to think about herself. But then, that's what she had been doing all these years. She denied herself to further Miho's dream of freedom. And what did she have to show for it?

    "I wish…I wish I could just go somewhere far away. To never deal with my mother, my responsibility, my sad life!"

    "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it." Maho mumbled the words over and over again. She was trying to convince herself that what she did was all for Miho's sake. For all of these years, this was the rationale, and she accepted it. But now, for the first time since Miho's departure, she questioned it. Whether she made the right choice not only for her sister but for herself.

    "If you want it. Go get it."

    Rirko had given her an opportunity to reflect on her own self-worth. It was always for others, never for herself. "Do I want it? I don't want it. I don't."

    It was a scary thought. For years of being told one thing, a stranger comes along and says the exact opposite. Scarier still that Maho would start believing in what he was saying.

    "Forget house and bloodline. Forsake your ordained path built by those before you, if you so wish. Forge yourself a new and better path. Just like your sister."

    "Is that even a choice? Can I do that? What would people say? What would mother say?" Maho mumbled these questions as she set the book on the floor. The light from the lampshade still on, she rubbed her forehead, weary of these questions and memories. "Forsake my path? Forget house and bloodline?" She had been taught that family was the most important thing. But now, she was being told to put herself first; something unheard of in her family.

    Maho would think about it some more. Doing something so critical at this stage would spell disaster. An example of this would be what happened with Miho. Turning off the lamp, she crawled into bed again and thought about the changes that were happening around her. Change for the better, or for the worse?

    "Mother's way. Miho's way. My way?" How Sensha-do was developing in Japan and Tankery in the West. The world was certainly changing rapidly. Soon, there would be no time to think, only to act. For the moment, she resolved to help Miho anyway she could. Not only because she loved her.

    But because she believed that there was none more qualified than Miho to lead the Federation into the future.
    A/N: Future developments will prove very interesting. Tell me what you think. Your support is greatly apperciated. Thank you for all the PM, favourites and views.
     
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    A/N: Short chapter. I've been playing so much Pokemon: Ultra Sun but I've been putting an effort into writing. The comments I have been getting have been supportive. Thank you.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Hallway - Late Afternoon

    The Student Council called a meeting of the tank commanders after practice, one day. It was one of Anzu's 'spur of the moment' kind of deal. This meeting included Ami and Rirko, seeing how much they were involved in the team's development.

    As the practice wrapped up, Ami and Rirko made their way to the Student Council room. Not happy about spending part of his evening in an impromptu meeting, Ami was subject to Rirko's complaints.

    "I just hope that its news worth listening too." Sighing, Rirko thought about that lost evening while Ami rolled her eyes.

    "You have no obligation to go."

    "Yeah, well she said anyone who is involved in the team's development. So, I have no choice but to go."

    "Well, at least get rid of the pissed-off look for the girls. You're setting a bad example." She looked out of the window and saw the tanks being rolled into the shed for the night. Then, a small group of the tank commanders walking towards the building. They all had sour faces.

    "Are they pissed off too?" Rirko asked, with a smug.

    "…shut up." The feeling was mutual. No one wanted to stay for a late meeting after a long training session.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Student Council Room – Late Afternoon

    "I'm glad that you were all able to make it!" Anzu said this in a cheery voice. However, some of the people in the room glared at the council, including Rirko. Silent contempt.

    "Don't give us that look. This is actually important!" Momo tried to look intimidating while crossing her arms. However, Risa wouldn't be taking that.

    "I sure hope so. If it's something stupid, then I can't be held responsible for my actions!"

    "What you say, smart-mouth?"

    "You want me, I'm right here!" Risa was already irritable from spending more time in school.

    "HEY!" Momo and Risa stopped their standoff, looking at Rirko. The entire room as well.

    "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we all get to go home. And I, for one, have an appointment with a warm kotatsu. So, I would be pleased as punch if girls would settle down and get on with it!"

    The girls, including Ami, looked at him as if he had two heads. Momo and Risa looked at each other.

    "Fine. I want to get home as soon as possible too." Crossing her arms, Risa sat down. Saying nothing, Momo did the same. Everyone settling down, Yuzu and Anzu were happy how things turned out.

    "Always count on the counsellor to be the voice of reason." Anzu shoved another chip into her mouth. Yuzu started the meeting.

    "Thank you all for coming. As you well know, the draws for the Nationals will be happening soon. Training during the coming weeks will be crucial. That's why…"

    "We'll be facing Kuromorimine in an exhibition match!" Anzu sound both excited and proud. Everyone's jaw dropped, except for Ami.

    Rirko looked at her. "You knew about this, didn't you?" She shrugged.

    "This was in the works right after we got confirmation about the match in Pravda. They were very forthcoming with their request."

    "And who made the request?" asked Nakajima.

    "The headmistress of Kuromorimine, through the Sensha-do Kommandant."

    Miho had a blank look, while Yukari looked on concerned. The rest of the tank commanders were unsure how to feel. The last time they faced Kuromorimine, they barely won. Could they still pull off the same miracle, especially with Miho out of commission?

    "The decision was made before Miho's suspension. But we can't cancel the match. We would lose face." Momo shifted her monocle around her eyes. "Therefore, we shall move forward and work with whatever we got." All eyes turned to Miho.

    Them winning off the seat of their pants was not acceptable this time around. Kuromorimine was now privy to Oarai's tricks. Miho and the others would have to be creative in their approaches. Just because she wasn't allowed to ride a tank, didn't mean she couldn't contribute to the strategies utilized.

    "Kuromorimine, in the past, has followed a strict battle style. Using formal strategies, they were not flexible in changing tactics on the fly. But now, they know this. They will change something. That is why we must be one step ahead. To continue to act on the fly, so our moves cannot be predicted."

    Kii was listening attentively and didn't contribute to the overall team strategy. But, something in her screamed to say something. "Nishizumi-sempai. How can we plan if our moves 'are on the fly?'"

    "Don't get me wrong. We'll still have a strategy. However, our moves must not be so easy to read. We will complete the strategy using guile and misdirection."

    If Kuromorimine had problems reacting to the stratagems of Oarai, they may have a chance to win. It would be brain vs brawn. Rirko was impressed by Miho's resourcefulness.

    "Live. Familiarize. Triumph."

    Miho giggled and smiled. "That's the gist of it. Perhaps we can work on the finer details later?"

    Everyone seemed to be keen on the idea. Momo, however, wanted to plan right away but one look at Anzu changed her mind.

    "Not too long," she said, crossly. "Our match is in two weeks time, so we'll need to step up training!" She turned to Miho. "Nishizumi, wrap things up."

    Miho had a different idea. "Actually, Yukari should be the one to wrap things up." Yukari was caught unawares.

    "M-Miss Nishizumi?!" Miho gave a gentle nod and Yukari swallowed hard. It was her show now.

    "Um…I know that things have changed that made our situation unfavourable. However, with the Nationals coming up, it is now more important than ever to find new ways to engage our opponents, to keep them guessing. So, we can win."

    "Our strength comes from thinking out of the box. And although we may seem weak, we have proven the mighty and powerful wrong. We are riding on last year's momentum. Let's keep on going! Now is not the time to rest. Now is the time to move and to show everyone that Sensha-do is not only about winning or glory. It's about having fun!"

    To be with teammates who care. To enjoy one's self. To grow in both mind and spirit through Sensha-do. These were the values that Oarai cherished. These were the values that they would protect.

    Murmurs of agreements filled the room. Smiles and laughter dissipated the tired air that hung around them. Satisfied, Momo adjourned the meeting while Yukari letting the other commanders know when the next meeting would be.
    Ami and Rirko spoke in the hallway.

    "Well, it works well for me."

    "Oh? How so?"

    "The match is on the same week of the workshop. I can attend both. I just have to be there way ahead of you girls."

    "Good for you." Ami looked at Rirko and even though he sounded enthusiastic, she knew he was tired.

    "Listen, are you doing okay? You look really tired."

    "Worried about me?"

    "Seriously Rir. Tell me."

    Ami was perceptive, and Rirko knew that. Sighing, he knew he couldn't bluff his way out of his predicament.

    "Have you heard of emotional fatigue?" Ami shook her head.

    "It's when you're so tired feeling for others that you become apathetic or withdrawn. I'm most likely feeling the effects of this."

    "Hence the reason you snapped at Risa and Momo?"

    "Oh, that? No, I was just worn-out of their bickering. No one wanted to be in that room."

    "What are you going to do?" Ami sounded a lot more concerned, than curious.

    "Maybe call in sick for a day. Relax. Have time for myself. Then, I should feel right as rain."

    "Right." She didn't sound too convinced.

    "I'll e-mail the headmistress tonight and leave a voicemail for the school. Probably be off tomorrow."

    "I better not see you here tomorrow, Rir. Otherwise, I'll knock you out and drag you home myself!" She sounded serious, but he knew she was only concerned about him. It was touching. Someone cared for 'him'.

    "Aye, ma'am."

    "I'm with the defence force, not the Marine Corps, stupid."

    "You keep using that word. I don't think you know what it means."

    "I-" Ami stopped herself before talking more. Rirko was teasing her and having a good time. "Don't be a stranger, Rir." Walking off, Rirko thought about his relationship with Ami and how it was changing.

    'This is getting more difficult.' He didn't know why, but every time he thought about her, he felt he had butterflies in his stomach. Was he getting sick? Or, was it something else?

    Rirko was seemingly alone. Him, the hallway and a potted plant. A potted plant that shook a little.

    He sighed. "I know you're there. Come on out."

    Miho popped out of her hiding place. "How did you know I was there?"

    "I didn't. But, I felt I was being watched by someone. Turned out to be you."

    Miho was silent and was looking guilty.

    "Where's Yukari?"

    "I said I would be going home late because there was some other stuff I needed to take care of for the Student Council."

    "Which was a total lie." Miho nodded. She felt bad lying to Yukari but really wanted to speak with Rirko.

    "Come on, let's go to my office. We can talk there."

    "B-But how about your-"

    "I'll be up all night, thinking about what you wanted to say to me. I care enough to at least hear what's on your mind."

    Rirko figured that she overheard his conversation with Ami. She probably wants to speak to him after the meeting. Hence, the reason she hid and looked guilty when discovered. Once she heard about his emotional fatigue, she didn't want to burden him.

    "One more thing, Miho. Don't eavesdrop on conversations, it's rude."

    "I-I'm sorry." As she bowed, Rirko began to leave. She immediately trotted after him.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Early Evening

    Rirko was still feeling the effects of emotional fatigue. However, he did his best to shake off the feeling and tried to keep an empathic ear to Miho. Even though it wasn't one of their session days, her coming to him meant that it was worth a discussion.

    Taking their usual places, Rirko and Miho began their session. "I'm sorry about intruding like this, Mr. Nagasawa. I know how tired you are and-"

    Rirko held up his hand. "Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself, you know. But, your concern is appreciated."

    "R-Right."

    "I actually wanted to know if you met with Dr. Tendo recently."

    "Dr. Tendo? Oh, you mean Shinzuka?"

    "Yeah. She goes by first-name basis?" Miho nodded her head. 'An informal way to present yourself to a patient, but whatever works for her.'

    "I met Shinzuka after the day of our…last talk." Remembering it once again, Miho shuttered at the memory of being lost and alone in the forest. "I spoke to her about my medications not working so well so she increased the dosage. But that was after a lengthy discussion."

    "I see." Rirko didn't push the issue about the conversation. If Shinzuka wanted to share information, she would say so. "And how do you feel?"

    "Better. Much better. I don't feel that depressed unlike before. I'm able to do things and focus on my life."

    "Good to hear." Rirko was relieved that Miho was on the right track to her recovery. A favourable outcome would be for her to take back command of the team before the match with Kuromorimine. But, it was still quite a way before progress like that could be made. But it was a start. "What else happened?"

    "I…I was able to speak to my sister in Notojima."

    Rirko remembered that Maho dropped by and he left her with Miho while he took a walk. He had no idea how that turned out. "Did it go well?"

    "Huh…" Miho, remembering her discussion with Maho, was a conversation that was not only tense but heartwarming.
    Noto Battlegrounds – Oarai Main Tent – Pravda Match Day - PAST

    Maho and Miho were once again together, albeit in unfavourable circumstances. Miho was lying on a cot, trying to wrap around what had happened to her and her subsequent suspension from the Sensha-do team. Maho was sitting right next to her; her hand on her shoulder.

    Miho turned around to see her sister and she was happy. They were face-to-face for once. Not, as a voice, but a physical person. Like back in the day. But then again, remembering such times caused her nothing but pain. Gingerly, Maho ran her fingers through Miho's hair and couldn't help but tear up.

    "Miho…A-Are you…alright?"

    Miho nodded. "I have people who are supporting me. But sometimes, it isn't enough. I make due with what I have. Being…resourceful is part of a commander's traits, right?" Smiling gently, Maho felt herself breaking her strong façade. She was heartbroken. The sister she had sought to help was suffering right in front of her.

    And she could do little to help her.

    "I'm sorry…I wasn't there for you."

    "Maho, it happened during the middle of the match. You couldn't exactly jump down and rush to me, can you?"

    Miho thought she was referring to what had happened during the match. However, Maho was referring to the Kuromorimine/ Pravda match and how she didn't say anything to support her. Maho didn't have the courage to correct her.

    "I…couldn't no. But I would."
    Miho sighed. "Why are we meeting always like this?"

    "What do you mean, Miho?"

    "We're always meeting when there's something bad happening. School getting closed down, during a Sensha-do National Championship, a gathering of the Federation schools in a showdown against a superior team. I miss…"

    Maho crept closer to her. To encourage to say whatever was on her mind.

    "I miss…I miss the days when we were just there with each other. Where we did things together, like how we used to."

    "I miss those days too. I truly do."

    Those days are gone now. There's nothing in the world that can change that. No matter how hard we wish for it…" As she talked, Miho started to cry again. Not wanting to see her cry, Miho turned her back. Each word she spoke was drawn.

    Maho couldn't say anything. Hearing Miho cry was agony. She wanted those days back too. But circumstances prevented them to have that wish. With Rirko's revelation and seeing Miho in such a delicate state was too much for her to bear. Tears flowed down her cheeks and unto the cot. Covering her eyes, she wept as well.

    Showing such emotion was unheard of for a Nishizumi but the emotional baggage each girl carried was getting to a point where it was unbearable.

    "What do you want, Miho?"

    "W-What?" She turned and saw her sister crying. Shocked, Miho stared at her and wiped some of her tears off her face.
    "What is it do you want me to do, Miho?! What is it going to take for you to not feel this way anymore?! Because I…I can't stand seeing you…like this!"

    The sight of Miho's anguish was upsetting. Maho was desperate and would do anything to make her feel better. It was hurting her emotionally. It was a hurt she had never felt in a long while. She wanted to make it disappear. Hers and Miho's.

    Miho couldn't answer that question. Maho was upset that she was upset. It was confusing to comprehend. She was expressing herself on how she truly felt. But now Maho, the sister that she loved, was unhappy. She needed to fix that.

    "Talk to me more. I know we are miles away from each other. But, hearing your voice reassures me. It makes me happy to know that I still have you. No matter how much apart we are from each other physically, we can still be together."

    "Oh, Miho!" Maho embraced her in a hug. Letting out her sorrow, Maho cried on Miho's shoulder. It was an action of love. Shedding tears not for yourself, but for a person that you love. Miho couldn't help but replicate that feeling for she did the exact same thing.

    It took a while for both sisters to calm down. After reaffirming their support for one another, Maho agreed to check up on Miho on a bi-weekly basis and to make sure that her sister was supported in all aspects of her life.

    As Maho was leaving, Miho sat on the cot and sighed. "Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me."
    "You mean a lot to me as well, Miho. It's like you said. We'll always be together no matter how far we are from one another."

    Maho left, leaving Miho's eyes glistening with the tears of joy.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Early Evening

    "It…went well."

    "Went well, huh." Gauging Miho's response, Rirko decided to not press the issue. The conversation that Miho had was only meant for her sister. "Let's just leave it at that, then. So, what did you want to talk about?"

    It took a minute for Miho to organize her feelings and words. But she spoke. "It's about what you said last time. About having 'closure?' I've been thinking about that."

    "Hmm."

    "I know that what I did went against everything my school and my family was taught."

    "And, do you regret your decision? If you would do it all over again, would you?"

    Miho knew she made the right choice. She believed in the sanctity of life trumped over victory. That the lives of her teammates, her friends, was worth a sacrifice. "I don't regret my decision. And if I had to do it all over again. I would."

    So strong was Miho's conviction that Rirko couldn't help but admire her. She knew exactly what she wanted. She wasn't her sister, and she was definitely not her mother. Miho was happy where she was.

    "So, what are you going to do now? Now, you are sure that you made the right choice. Where to go from here?"

    This was a question that Miho tried to figure out for the last few days. When Rirko spoke about confrontation, she wasn't too keen on the idea. To talk directly to someone about a sensitive topic like this, especially if it's your own family. Miho believed, at the time, that confrontation was not an option. But now.

    "I…I need to let them know how I feel about this. I tried explaining it once, but they wouldn't listen. I just need to frame it right."

    Rirko felt that confrontation was necessary. However, that was before his conversation with Ami about Eastern and Western cultures. Now, he felt he may have been over-zealous about his ideas about Miho confronting her family.

    "Before we continue this conversation, there's something I wanted to tell you." Miho didn't like the tone of his voice. He sounded hesitant. "When I came to Oarai, I was so set on my own beliefs and values. I truly believed in what I was taught back home. But that also meant having no tolerance for other cultures. Especially Eastern. Miss Chono spoke to me, at length, about this shortcoming. I may have been forcing my own sets of values on you. I'm sorry."

    This was something that Miho was not expecting. Normally no one, especially someone of authority, would announce their shortcomings. Here, Rirko was. But, what did it mean for Miho? Was everything he said just random stuff off the top of his head?

    Miho shook her head. "It's okay. Thanks for letting me know, Mr. Nagasawa. But, regardless of this, the things you say. They make sense to me."

    "What?" Then Rirko remembered that he wasn't dealing with a typical high-schooler. Miho held her own set of beliefs. Beliefs that was like Western ideology. "Right. I guess I still have a lot to learn about the differences between Eastern and Western cultures. But, I'm glad that you understand what I've been saying to you."

    "Maybe I still need to think about this a bit more?"

    "You don't have to let me know, Miho." She looked at him.

    "Don't you want to know what happens?"

    "Partially, yes. I would be lying if I said otherwise. However, this is your family we're talking about here. You make the choice. You follow through. And if you need support in this, I can provide for it. All you need to do is ask."

    She was happy to hear that and smiled. "Thank you. That makes me feel a whole lot better."

    Talking to Rirko about this situation, she felt that a weight was lifted off her shoulders. "I don't want to keep you, Mr. Nagasawa. You've been very helpful. I'll be going now." As she was getting ready to leave, Rirko spoke.

    "If I can give you one piece of advice. If you believe your ideals are being contradicted by someone, especially someone of authority, then you must do what you think is right."

    Both looked at each other. Miho's hand was on the doorknob. She turned around and opened the door. He couldn't see her face, but Miho looked dejected.

    "I wish we had met sooner, Mr Nagasawa." As she whispered this, she left. Closing the door behind her, she sighed and put her hand on the door. If he was there to help her back then, would anything change? If Rirko was that one supportive person that stood up to her mother, what would her family look like now?

    "Nishizumi?" Miho turned and saw Sadoko standing there with Pazomi and Gomoyo on each side of her. Both Pazomi and Gomoyo wore concerned faces.

    Miho didn't consider Mallard would be here this late. She didn't expect anyone would be in the school. Then she remembered that the moral committee usually patrols the halls and write a report to security before leaving school. Why, of all nights, did she have to meet Mallard?

    No one from the Sensha-do team knew of her counselling sessions. The only thing the team knew was that she was dealing with emotional issues and was getting help. They didn't know, she was receiving help here. She felt her heart beat fast. She was discovered and there was no way she could talk her way out of it. The only thing Miho could do was stare back. No one said a thing for a while.

    "What are you doing here, this late?"

    "I…I-" Miho stammered while trying to figure out an excuse. However, Sadoko rose her hand.

    "Never mind that. You've been good to the school and a good student overall. I'll let you off with a warning this time. But know that the school closes at 5 pm daily, with the exception of any extracurricular activities and designated events. Any student staying in the school after hours is strictly prohibited and will be subject to penalties from the moral committee. Now, off you go."

    Not sure what to think about the situation, Miho started to speed past the three as fast as she could. But before she could, she heard Sadoko speak.

    "Commander Nishizumi?" Miho stopped, without turning back. "Do you best, okay?" Smiling slightly, she left Mallard alone in the hallway.
    A/N: Once again, short chapter. Things will pick up in the next one. If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to leave a review or PM me. I'm good about getting back to people. Once again, thanks for the support on this.
     
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