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Girls und Panzer - For Glory, Praise and Honor

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Guess Who I Saw Today
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Everyone's support has been phenomenal. Thank you for the kind words, PMs, and corrections. If I need to correct something, I'll update accordingly. Also, please note that I sometimes write the chapters in bulk. So as I am posting this chapter, I have three chapters as buffer. I'll consider your suggestion if I feel it can fit into the story.

    That being said. Let's begin.
    Oorai Carrier Ship – Miho's Apartment – Morning

    When morning broke, Miho felt groggy. Although she had a better night sleep, the thought of another night in fear was too much she could take. After doing her morning routine, she grabbed her phone. She was going to text her sister.

    Since the final match of the nationals, Miho and Maho reconnected and spoke on a weekly basis. Miho didn't want to tell her sister about her problems, especially if it was putting her in jeopardy. But with school starting tomorrow and her friends still sleeping, Maho would be the only available person she knew who would know what to do in this situation. Surely, she had felt this way before during her years in Sensha-do. She must know what to do.

    Miho took a deep breath and then started to text.

    "Hello, sister."

    She didn't even have to wait a minute for a response.

    "Hello, Miho. How are you?"

    Miho had two options. She could dance around the topic or just tell her directly what was happening. Knowing that she would have to tell her eventually, she thought it best to tell her now. Or perhaps, she could hide the intent?

    "Not good. Had a rough night sleep."

    "How come?"
    "One of my friends are in trouble. Not real trouble. I'm concerned. I wanted your opinion."

    This time, it took a few minutes for her to receive a reply.

    "Ok? What is wrong?"

    "My friend is dealing with sleeplessness."

    "Is it insomnia?"

    "No. She described it as being afraid of something even though there is nothing."

    It took more time to receive a response. A full two minutes.

    "Details, please."

    "There's been some physical symptoms. But we saw the doctor and the doctor said everything was fine."
    Then, the thing that Miho dreaded happened. Her phone began to ring. It was Maho. She silently cursed herself. "I knew she would figure it out. She's not stupid, how could I fool her?"

    Miho contemplated on answering. She didn't set up a voicemail so she could have left it to ring for a while.

    But she knew that she would have to talk to her sooner or later. The same rationale. She answered the phone.

    "Hello?"

    Miho heard breathing, somewhat auditable.

    "Are you alright Miho?"

    "Yes, I'm fine. It's my friend who I'm worried about." She tried to desperately keep the deception.

    There was a minute silence. "Miho, how long have I known you for?"

    "Um…for the longest time?"

    "So, of course, I know when you are lying to me. This is about you, isn't it?"

    Miho gave a sigh. A part of her was relieved that Maho found out so soon, however, another part of her was fearful of the hell she would be giving for deceiving her.

    "This is not like you. When did you start having these problems?"

    "It began after school started. Everyone was talking about Sensha-do and the team and how we were going to win this year again…just a lot of expectations."

    Again, another silence. "Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

    Once again, Miho was presented with an opportunity to tell her about her feelings, about the incident and her family life in general.

    "No…that's it."

    "I see…do you need me to come down there?"

    "There's no need for you! I don't want you to get in trouble with mother!"

    "Regardless of if mother approves or not, I will always be there to support you Miho. You should know that by now."

    "Just talking to you about this is helping me plenty. Now I know there's someone I can talk to about this."

    "Miho. I'm here if you need to talk. But be rational. I'm thousands of miles away, there must be someone nearby who you can turn to."

    Once again, the school counselor option was looking appealing again.

    "Doesn't your school have someone?"

    Miho gave a deep sigh. "That's just it sister. I can't go to the school counselor. Didn't you hear about the new rules? If he found out about my 'condition'…"

    "Miho," Maho called her name not in an angry tone, but almost like pleading. "When I started Kuromorimine, I was stressed out with taking command. There were days I felt just like you. I didn't talk to anyone outside of Sensha-do. I couldn't talk to mother, she would have probably said to 'endure it.' Then, there was a telephone line that services youth with anxiety, who could remain anonymous. When I spoke to that person, I could let out all my fears and troubles. The person on the other line spoke with empathy and compassion. That person made me feel myself again. This happened a few more times before I became confident in my abilities."

    "I'm not asking you to endure it. I'm only saying that talking to someone, anyone, can help you in ways you cannot imagine. Miho, you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others. That's part of a commander's job."

    Miho silently considered Maho's words. She, too, went through her struggles. But she had help in coping with her situation. Miho had people, she was just afraid to ask for it. Unfortunately, Oorai didn't have an anxiety hotline.

    "Promise me Miho that you'll see someone."

    Miho gave a deep sigh. "Alright sister. I'll see someone."

    "This week."

    "…this week."

    "And if for whatever reason, there is anything wrong you let me know right away!"

    "Yes, sister. Thank you."

    "Hmm…" The phone hung up. As Miho put her phone down, she processed what just happened. She had no other alternative. To alleviate some stress, she would have to talk to Mr. Nagasawa.
    Oorai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Counselor's Office – Next Day

    Rirko had to get up early. He didn't want to, but he had too.

    The staff meeting was in a few days. He had to compile the results of the personality quizzes, to convey to the faculty where they stand emotionally and morally. He also had to set-up a presentation on mental health for a professional day. Professional day was when the school was off and the teachers come in for 'advanced learning.' Free day for the students, a workday for staff.

    Drinking his coffee, he began typing the beginning of his presentation:

    "Mental health has always been a part of society. It is only recently that it has made itself important in our lives. Believe it or not, we don't take mentality seriously enough. Just because it is not in a physical manifestation, it is to be ignored. Today, we are here to learn about the impact that mental health plays in our educational system, the staff and more importantly the students. Here are some points to consider –"

    His typing was interrupted by the knock on the door. It was a soft knock. Rirko was startled for a bit. He didn't expect staff to be here this early, let alone bother him.

    "Come in?" He didn't know who to expect. When the door was opened, Miho was standing right there with her eyes on the floor. She was gripping her arm nervously.

    Rirko's eyes widened. "Oh…shit."

    "G-Go-Good morning, Mr. Nagasawa," Miho stuttered her words while giving a slight bow.

    "And a good morning to you Miho." What the hell is this girl doing here?! I was not ready for this! "Um…are you going to stand there or are you planning to enter?"

    "Oh! Uh…sorry." She excused herself and entered. Closing the door behind her, she stood near the door.

    "There's some seats over there. Why don't you get comfortable?" Miho nodded and took one of the chairs in the room. As she sat, she squished herself on the chair, as if she was sitting on lava.

    "Why is this girl nervous?" Rirko thought. "Well, it is Miho. Would you like something to drink?"

    "It's alright Mr. Nagasawa, thank you for offering."

    "Alright then." Rirko took a seat, sitting opposite to her. She was still looking down and nervously.

    "What can I do for you, Miho?"

    "Well…uh…um…" she trailed off.

    "Miho?"

    "Y-yes."

    "Chill out."

    "Huh?"

    "Relax. Close your eyes. Count to ten. And be sure to count, slowly."

    "R-Right. One…two…three…" As she counted, she felt herself being more relaxed. Counting slow returned her breathing to normal. Her mind was so preoccupied with counting, it wasn't thinking about being worried.

    After she was finished counting, she sat comfortably on the chair. Rirko smiled.

    "There, feel better?"

    "Yes, thank you."

    "Now, why don't we try this again." Rirko shifted his chair a little. "How can I help you today?"

    "I…I need someone to talk to about something."

    "Alright? What sort of something?"

    "W…Well, I've been having some problems…"

    "Okay. May I ask what kind of problems?"

    Miho was silent. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't spill out everything. She had to get the elephant out of the room first. Suddenly, she stood up and bowed.

    "Please, Mr. Nagasawa! I need to talk to someone about this, but I can't be suspended from Sensha-do! It's important to me!"

    What the fu- "I'm listening, Miho."

    "I've been having problems sleeping because of it. But please…please don't take me away from Sensha-do. My friends are there and I really love it, and…"

    "…alright."

    "…I just can't stand the thought of…WHAT!?"

    "I said alright. I won't take you away from Sensha-do."

    There was a silence. Miho looked like someone punched her in the gut. Staring blankly, she sat down with her hands on her lap. Rirko just looked stoic.

    "Miho, the rules state that if a member of the Sensha-do team is "emotionally compromised" then the counselor can suspend that member. However, they didn't say anything about being 'emotionally distressed.' Which is you right now."

    "I don't…understand."

    "I'll speak plainly then. If a person is not able to do everyday functions due to high amounts of distress such as not being able to get out of bed, go to school, then that person is 'emotionally compromised.' If a person has a pattern of putting emotions first before rational judgments that endangers self or others, that is being emotionally compromised."

    "Then, what am I?"

    Rirko looked at her. She could hold out a conversation, she knew what she was talking about. She knew what she wanted and she was rational. The reason why she was here being because…

    "Like I said, you would be emotionally distressed. You got problems that maybe bothering you to a point where it is affecting you physically. But it hasn't gotten to the point where it is crippling."

    Miho breathed a sigh of relief and then looked guilty. "The reason why I was afraid to speak to you was that I thought you would suspend me from Sensha-do if you saw me like this."

    "Miho, do you really think me that heartless?"

    "No…. No! That's not what I meant."

    "Relax, I get it. Let me just be clear on this. My obligation is to the student. Always. If the student is in danger of harming themselves or other people, then I have a duty to report. If I know that Sensha-do is being a factor in a person's emotional state, then I will suspend that person. But for you? You enjoy being with your friends and you have a passion for the sport. I would never remove you from something so recreational."

    Miho had always thought about the worst-case scenario. That she would be removed from Sensha-do, wouldn't be able to help the team and maybe worst, lose all the friends she made and start back where she started…alone.

    "Regardless of the consequences, something like this should not be kept a secret. It tends to take its toll on the person. Both emotionally, and physically."

    Miho understood this. She witnessed first-hand the type of terror he's referring to. "I know."

    "You know? Ah, you've been losing sleep over it, huh?"

    "Not only that. There was an incident that happened on the weekend while I was sleeping."

    "Oh? Can you describe it for me?"

    Miho was silent as she looked down. There was apprehension; she obviously didn't want to talk about it. Rirko knew that the question would take some time to respond. He couldn't expect an answer right away, she needed time to think about it. He just silently waited on her. Truthfully, the sound of silence itself was unnerving.

    Miho looked up at Rirko slowly. "…my heart…started to beat... I felt like…like I couldn't breathe… I felt I was alone and…if Yukari wasn't there…then…"

    Ah, crap. It already started. "Heart palpitations, feeling of dread and respiratory problems. And when you checked up with the doctor, there were no problems physically?"

    Miho nodded.

    "It sounds to me…that you suffered from a panic attack."

    "Yes…I went with my friends to the hospital. I spoke to someone there. He gave me medicine to help me relax."

    So, she went and saw a psyche? "What else did he say?"

    "He said that I needed to talk to someone about my…emotional state."

    The thing that Rirko feared had happened. Miho had suffered a panic attack because of her past. But he couldn't make that call without digging more and she had done enough today. He needed to validate this.

    "Miho? You know what you just did, right?"

    "Um…no?"

    "Well, you took a step in your recovery: seeking help from others. Now, it's not easy doing this. Adults with your type of problem, some of them anyway, keep it to themselves for years before telling anyone. You sought help from your friends and in turn could help you." So, then why did Miho feel so down?

    Looking at her, Rirko saw Miho's face. It wasn't relief or happiness, it was rout. She had hope to handle the problem by herself. However, she couldn't. She had to ask. She felt she tapped out.

    "Don't think that asking for help is a defeat. The greater the numbers, the greater the odds, right? You are not alone in this."

    "I'm not?"

    "No. A lot of people, especially high-schoolers all around the world, are dealing with anxiety and depression. Almost half of them are trying to deal with it by themselves with little success. It is only with the help of their loved ones, and professionals, they are able to move on."

    Somehow, Rirko's words made Miho a whole lot better. So, there were other people who were dealing with her same pain? Maho was right. Talking to someone did help.

    "I am so glad you came to me about this. Admitting your problems is always the first step in fixing them. But, of course, you already knew that, didn't you?"

    Miho giggled. He knew he was referring to her duties as a commander. "You're right. I did need to admit it. Talking to you…it made me feel a little better."

    "But by no means, this is over. You know this, right?"

    Miho knew it wouldn't be that easy. The first step was to admit the problem. Now, she had to take steps in resolving it. "So, I would I go about this?"

    "Well, you tell me." Rirko gave Miho the opportunity to take ownership of her problem. "What do you think needs to be done?"

    Thinking only for a moment, she replied, "talk?"

    "This is just a suggestion. You can take it or leave it. If you'd like, we could speak once a week about how you're feeling. During these meetings, you can talk about anything that's on your mind. I'm not going to give you any homework or anything of the sort. Maybe I'll suggest some things you can try and see how they work. The meetings will be all about you. I want you to start talking. What's bugging you? What's stresses you? This place is a safe place. No judgments. No retaliation. Speak your mind here. Well?"

    There was a mix of emotion on Miho's face. If people knew she was seeing a counselor, they might be concerned and because how the team treated each other like family; they would pay more attention to her than their training. "…do I have to tell anyone?"

    Rirko shook his head. "Not if you don't want them to know. It'll be private."

    There was also the problem of people seeing her going to the counselor's office. "Is it possible…to come…around this time?"

    "In the morning? Well, I don't have a problem with it." Truthfully, that would mean that Rirko would have to get up early to see her. But he was willing to make the sacrifice. "Are you able to make it before class begins?"

    Miho gave a nod.

    "So, every Monday around 7:30. You have my school e-mail, right? If you're not going to make it, then let me know."

    "Got it."

    Looking at the clock, Rirko noticed the time. "You better get ready. Class is about to begin in ten minutes."

    "Oh! Right!" Miho grabbed her belongings and headed out the door. "Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Hmm?"

    "Did you really mean what you said about Sensha-do?" Miho still sounded unsure.

    "Let me put it this way. If you become stressed to the point that you're not able to do anything. And I mean, anything, I will suspend you. The body needs time to recover from the shock. And your mind, time to heal from the stress."

    Miho understood now. It was just like running. If you ran a long time, your body starts to slow down. You need a minute to take a breather before being able to start again.

    "Thank you." As Miho closed the door, she whispered the words. She hadn't completely solved her problem. But at least she knew what it was. And now she was starting to get help.

    Rirko rubbed his face with his hands. He put the chairs away and walked back to his desk. He silently contemplated what just happened.

    "Well, that escalated quickly. I'm glad that Miho could see me though. Now I'll be able to see what's going on in her world."

    He would have to start a new file on Miho, gather her information, have her sign consent forms and the such. So much legality, but necessary in over to cover all necessary bases. Rirko checked his school e-mail and saw a message from Ami.

    "See you this afternoon. Training grounds, remember? Ami – "

    Facepalming, Rirko forgot about meeting Ami at the training grounds. In the span of just a few hours, he had lost his afternoon, lost his Monday mornings and still had work to do. Taking a heavy sigh, he continued with his work.
    A/N: Thanks again for reading. Hoped you enjoyed.
     
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    • Why Can't We Be Friends
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: A warning: we are now entering OC territory. Once again, thanks for all the support from people who've been PM'ing me as well as leaving a review. Just wanted to be clear on the lines:

    Single lines indicate change in setting.

    Double lines indicate flashback.
    ​
    Also, I've noticed I've been spelling Oarai wrong. I'll try changing it. My muse has also been calling in sick for a couple of days so expect sporadic updates.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Sensha-do Training Grounds - Afternoon

    With the match against Glorianna just days away, practice kicked into overdrive with Mallard and Turtle team trying to teach the new recruits how to drive. The new recruits were not battle ready, of course, so they were not going to participate in the match. They would, however, be able to sit in the bleachers with the rest of the spectators to see how a match is conducted.

    The recruits were stationed as follows:

    Char B1 – Kii (Commander/Operator), Emika (Gunner, Loader), and Ichiho (Driver)

    Hetzer – Risa (Commander/ Operator), Maki (Gunner, Loader), and Yumisa (Driver)

    Mallard and Turtle trained them based on their knowledge of their own tanks. Turtle had problems from the getgo. Kii was always eager to help, even without the team's consent. Emika was over-excited and interested in firing her turret every which way. Ichiho took some time to even get her into the tank. Their first go was what you'd expect. At the end of one training day, the Hetzer had a dent on the front and one of the sheds had a hole on the side.

    Mallard didn't fare any better, maybe even worse. Risa and Maki were always arguing about anything. It took Sodoko to use her powers of a 'moral committee member' to make them shut up. Yumi tried to play peacemaker but right after both blew up on her one time, she just stuck to her job as the driver. Maki made it abundantly clear that she didn't like Risa as the commander. Their first go on the Char was just as disastrous. They'd manage to drive the tank to one of the ponds on the grounds. It took Leopon team a day to get it out from there. And of course, Risa and Maki argue whose fault it was.

    While the other teams were practicing Miho's strategy plan, Rirko and Ami watched them from the control tower.

    "Well, what do you think?" asked Ami. She really wanted to know his opinion on the team.

    Rirko frowned. "We got clashing personalities on each of the new teams. If they don't shape up soon, it'll affect performance for the other teams as well."

    "I'm sure Miho figured that out already," Ami smiled while stretching. "The question is, what is she going to do about it?"

    Rirko pondered on this. Training new people to do a new job is not easy. Especially if there's a deadline. Conflicts have always existed within all groups. In this case, the teams were a bunch of high school girls. They got along fine before the addition of the recruits. Adding them to the mix messed up the team's chemistry completely.

    "Miho will find a way." Rirko had confidence in the young commander's ability. "Let's just hope nothing stupid hap-"

    CRRRRAAAASSSSSSHHH

    There was a screeching noise coming from the base of the control tower. Ami and Rirko soon saw smoke rising bellow.

    Ami was startled. "What the hell!?"

    "Ah damn it. Um, my bad Ami."

    "You just had to open your mouth, didn't you?"

    "Hey, I didn't know someone up there was listening."

    "Just shut up and head down there." Both quickly got on the ladder to get down.

    "You stupid IDIOT!" Risa roared. "Look what you did!"

    Maki shot back. "If you weren't talking so much, then maybe Yumi would not have crashed the stupid tank!"

    "If you weren't talking so much, then we would be fine!"

    "Are you serious?!"

    With the Char looking worse for wear and the two girls arguing, the entire Sensha-do team gathered around the control area. Miho, along with Mallard team came to the crash site.

    "That's enough, girls!" Sodoko yelled. "Geez, you already messed up big so don't make it even worse."

    "But this IDIOT caused all this! I want her held accountable!" Risa stomped her foot on the ground.

    "If you didn't hit me, I wouldn't have punched and knocked Yumi out!" Maki countered.

    "That's enough!" Miho yelled. She had a commanding voice on. "First of all, is everyone alright?"

    "Yes ma'am," Yumi said as she crawled out of the tank.

    "Hmph!" Both Maki and Risa crossed their arms.

    "Have Leopon look at the tank, then have it retrieved for repair. Maki, Risa, and Sodoko, I need to have a word with you, girls."

    Miho turned to the rest of the team. "Everyone else, resume your practice. The situation is under control!" At once, all the teams who gathered near the accident site mounted their tanks and headed in all directions.

    Sodoko, Risa, Maki, and Yumi were lined up.

    "Accidents happen," Miho started. "But when accidents are caused by in-fighting, it becomes a problem."

    "Yeah, if some people would know their place," Risa snidely remarked.

    "HEY!"

    "Stop!" Miho had a fierce look on her face. "It's been a few days since you two joined and it's been nothing but fighting between the two of you. This accident hurt your tank-mate. I think you owe Yumi an apology.

    Maki had this pissed off looked for a minute. Then, she closed her eyes, breathed and sighed. She turned to Yumi. "I'm sorry, Yumi, you got dragged into this."

    "It's alright, Maki. I know it's been hard."

    "Good to admit your faults, Maki!" Risa gleefully cried. "Maybe now you can apologize for not being able to shoot properly."

    At this, Maki snapped. "Why you STUPID BITCH!" She suddenly tackled Risa to the ground and started to whale on her.

    "YOU WANNA GO, LET'S GO!" Risa cried. Both the freshmen were rolling on the ground. Sodoko, Yumi, and Miho were desperately trying to separate them.

    "STOP, I SAID STOP!" Miho yelled. Her face was red.

    "Cut it out!" Sodoko said as she tried to separate the two. Both Risa and Maki's makeup were rubbing off with dirt, showing the rough skin. Maki scored a few good punches on Risa's face while Risa was trying to scratch Maki's eyes out. Risa's face was swollen and Maki's scratch marks marked her up bad.

    *BWEEEEEEP*
    The fighting stopped immediately at the whistle. Both Ami and Rirko were standing there.

    "ARE YOU GIRLS KIDDING ME?" Ami was livid with the lack of respect and the whole situation entirely. "This is ridiculous! You three are teammates, but you two are so intent on making this a mud wrestling match! You are part of Oorai's Sensha-do team! The three of you better shape up or ship out!"

    "Maybe I don't want to be on the team anymore," Risa snapped. "Maybe all of you can just f*** off!"

    "Don't be taking that tone with me!"

    "Do something about it, Miss instructor! You're not even here half the time anyway!"

    "You saying something?"

    "Yeah, you're bad, why are you even here if only to f***ing off?"

    It was a power struggle between two people. For one to dominate over the other. If no intervention was done, they would be there for a while. Rirko took the opportunity to step in front of the two ladies and rose his hands up.

    "Hey! We were having a conversation! No one invited you!"

    Rirko remained stoic. "Risa, you need to head over to the nurses' office. Now."

    "Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!"

    "Well, unless you're content with having black and blue all over your face. Also, there's blood coming out from your lips."

    Risa licked her lips. There was blood coming out. Her face was swollen from Maki's punches.

    "Stupid foreigner! Why are you even here?! You're just as bad as the lady there!"

    "I know, I am a stupid foreigner! But this stupid foreigner happens to give a damn about the mouthy lady that's about to pass out from blood loss if she doesn't head over to the nurse's office! Now!"

    Rirko wasn't yelling. He was firm in his approach. Inside, however, he wanted to go in on her. Think you're hot shit, who the f*** do you think you are?!

    There was an awkward silence where no one said anything. Never wanting to admit it, Risa was feeling faint. Finally, seeing that Rirko wasn't going to give her an inch gave a humph and stormed towards the building.

    Rirko turned to Sodoko. "Follow her. At a distance. Make sure she gets there."

    As Sodoko bowed and left, she saw both Miho and Ami red. Maki was silently on the ground cursing herself. "Idiot. I'm such an idiot, why did I get it this far!"

    Rirko addressed Miho, Maki, and Yumi. "Are you girls okay?"

    Both Yumi and Maki nodded silently. "Maki, thanks for apologizing to Yumi. It's important that we don't have any harsh feelings between one another."

    "Yeah. I'm sorry it went this far. I really am." Maki was feeling guilty about the whole affair. Sure, Risa and Maki fought, but never at this level and especially involving anyone else.

    "Well. Why don't you and Yumi call it a day, huh? Get some rest. Ideally, we're supposed to be talking about this situation with Risa but everyone's been through a lot. We'll pick it back up first thing in the morning."

    "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Maki and Yumi bowed and headed out to the sheds. As Rirko sighed, he saw Miho…and she was not looking good. Her uniform was all dirty and her face was red. She was trembling and making a fist on each hand.

    Rirko knelt to Miho and whispered. "When you're ready to talk, let me know."

    Miho looked at Rirko. At once, she turned and ran towards the school.

    Ami softly whispered Miho's name. Rirko turned to her. "How are you, Ami?"

    "How am I?" Ami chuckled at the situation. "Truthfully, I feel like crap."

    "Fell for it, didn't you?"

    "Fall for what?"

    "The Struggle."

    "What struggle?"

    Rirko was ready to explain. "When two people have a difference of opinions, a power struggle occurs. Risa was questioning your authority and credibility. You shot back by establishing yourself the one in charge. It would have gone back and forth before either one side gives or both sides fight."

    "This is usually to distract the person from the real purpose of the conversation." Rirko finished.

    "Which was…to talk about the accident. To own up?"

    "Yes. Risa didn't want to talk. She wasn't ready. Both Risa and Saki were at high levels of anger. They needed to cool off before being able to talk."

    "Damn it." Ami was hitting herself. She couldn't believe that a high-schooler got the better of her. "How do I avoid this kind of thing from happening in the future?"

    "That's easy. Don't pick up the rope."

    "Don't pick up the rope? Is that another western saying?"

    "It means don't take it personally. It takes two people to fight. If you don't take it personally, then the other person has nothing working for her."

    "I see." Ami was colored impressed. She didn't have many opinions on counselors and thought of them people who handle academic paperwork. However, Rirko liked to get his hands dirty.

    Rirko stared off towards the school. "I'm sure Miho will benefit from this learning experience."

    "Speaking of which." Ami stared off to the school. "I wonder where she's gone?"

    "Either home or somewhere in the school. Someone will see her."

    "I'll radio Turtle to bring the teams in."

    "We'll also need to talk about what happened."

    Ami looked at him with surprise. "Why? Isn't this something we should keep under wraps to avoid panic?"

    "We do that and we'll have rumors starting. It's best that we're all on the same page. Talk about what happened and what we can do to move on."

    "…alright. We'll do it your way."
    "Where's Miho?" Yukari asked the rest of Anglerfish team.

    "I don't know." Saori was getting concerned. "It's been a while since Miporin left."

    "I hope she's okay," Hana added.

    The Student Council stood before the team. "It's been a long day," Momo started. "The match with Glorianna is within a few days. So, all teams should be doing their best and perfecting the strategies the commander has given us."

    Already, there were whispers. "Where's Miho," asked Caesar.

    Erwin shrugged. "I don't know. Have you seen her?"

    "No."

    Duck team was just as confused. "Isn't Miho supposed to be making a rallying speech?" asked Noriko.

    Akebi agreed. "Yeah, where is she?"

    The Student Council knew they were talking about Miho's whereabouts. Momo was about to dismiss the crowd before she saw Ami and Rirko walking towards them. Both took their place in the center, with the council.

    Ami started. "As you well know, there was an incident that happened with the recruits. They managed to crash their tank at the control tower."

    The whispers flared up again.

    "More work for us," Nakajima complained.

    Suzuki shushed her. "Quiet!"

    "There was also an incident between the recruits that Mallard's been mentoring. There was an exchange of words, a physical altercation in which Miho and Sodoko were a part of.

    The murmurs became louder. "Miho got into a fight?"

    "I think she was trying to break it up."

    Ami turned to Rirko. "Well, they're all yours sir!"

    Thanks…so much. "Girls, eyes up here please!" At once, the team was fixated on Rirko.

    Murmurs started up again. "What's Mr. Nagasawa doing here?"

    "Will he be joining us for Sensha-do? Like Miss Chono?"

    "What's good for a counselor to be here?"

    All the girls wondered why a student counselor would be involving himself on a sport like Sensha-do?

    "I know some of you girls are surprised to see me. And I'll be happy to explain the reason why later. Right now, your friends need your support on this. Fights happen. But they do get resolved. Know that your commander is in the process of resolving the issue. For now, focus on your tasks. Do that, and you'll be helping plenty?"

    It was at this that the team's enthusiasm flared up. They wanted to help Miho in any way they could.

    "Everyone worked hard today," Momo concluded.

    "Thanks, everyone!"
    "So, where's Miho?" Yukari asked Ami. "Is she still here?"

    "I'm getting no answer from her phone," Saori said sadly. "I hope she's okay."

    "We'll take care of finding Miho. You girls should head on home."

    Anglerfish were hesitant at first. Rirko needed to reassure them. "I'll be staying late at the school. I'll keep an eye out. If I see her, I'll let Miss Chono know."

    Yukari broke the silence. "…Alright, Mr. Nagasawa. We'll see you tomorrow." Anglerfish then headed off. Rirko sighed.

    "Why didn't you tell the girls what you were doing there?"

    "Because it wasn't the time or place to do it." To rally with Miho and Sodoko was more important than to feed Rirko's ego.

    "I'm going to check her apartment. To see if she's there. If not, we'll…. Uh, let me get your number so I can contact you just in case." Both exchanged numbers and Ami started to head off. Rirko looked at the school and there was a light in one of the classrooms.

    Odd. Aren't all the lights supposed to be off now?
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Main Building - Evening

    Rirko searched the first floor and notified security about Miho's disappearance. He walked on the second floor where he saw the light. When he opened, Rirko saw a view of the training grounds, some construction from the renovation project. Sitting on one side of the classroom, was Miho. She was very silent with a despairingly look.

    Rirko called out to her. "Miho?" No answer.

    "Miho."

    "…Did you know?"

    "Know what?"

    "This classroom is where I met Hana and Saori." The classroom that she met her friends. The place where everything began for her.

    "There are days I wondered, what would happen if I didn't meet them. Would I still be alone? Would I still be able to do something with my life?"

    Rirko walked over to her and sat on a desk opposite of her.

    "Sensha-do is the only thing I'm good at. I thought I had figured everything out on it. But today proved that I was wrong."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Didn't you see?! I couldn't even stop a fight between teammates!" her voice was quivering. "I've been so used to people doing whatever I say because that's what they all do! They don't question, they trust me!"

    Rirko caught on to the fact that Miho's voice was rising. And she was shaking.

    "I thought it wouldn't be different with them. But I was wrong. I…I…" Miho was silent. She didn't know what to say. She was so used to everyone listening to her either because of her Nishizumi heritage or because of her reputation as a commander. In this case, neither worked for the recruits.

    "Miho," Rirko called her name softly. "No one said that being in command was going to be easy. There are days when no one is listening to you and you feel like pulling your hair out. There are days when you must handle the incompetence of others so the entire team doesn't mess up. Just because you have one bad day, it doesn't mean it is the end all, be all."

    Miho wiped her tears with her sleeve. "I didn't have to deal with this type of thing before. Everyone did what they were supposed to. There was no fighting. No questions."

    Miho always had depended on the command style of Kuromorimine, where questioning your superior was punishable. In Oorai's case, at the time, none of the other girls had experience in tanks so they would trust her completely. But Risa's attitude towards authority figures had made Miho nervous about if she was questioned about her judgement by other people, especially in front of her team?

    "So, what will you do now? Now that you're faced with this problem, what is your solution?"

    Miho was silent at this question. Her normal, commanding style wouldn't work on freshmen who disregarded her.

    "I do have one piece of advice: surround yourself with those that understand your past. Believe in your future. And accept you today just the way you are."

    She looked at him as he said this. Then she understood. "So, just stay me?"

    Rirko nodded. "Just be yourself. If you receive feedback about your style, good or ill, take it into consideration and act accordingly. There's no perfect style, everyday it's a work in progress. And if the new recruits are giving you grief, ask for help. You got people, just reach out and ask for it. We're not there to look pretty, we're here to help."

    "Yes…I decided I want to learn about the Sensha-do team more. So, I'll be attending some of your practices. Who knows, maybe I can help get into the minds of some freshmen. Make them behave?"

    Miho smiled at the prospect. "Or maybe you'll scare them off!"

    "Hey, I'm offended," Rirko said with a smile. "I'm a nice guy!"

    "Sure, you are. Thank you though." Miho said this with sincerity. "Talking to you helped me a lot."

    "That's what I'm here for. Your friends were looking for you by the way."

    "My friends?" Miho took out her phone. 10 missed calls from Yukari.

    "She loves you." Rirko teased.

    Miho giggled. "I know."
    Oorai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Night

    Rirko texted Ami right after Miho left. They had a colorful conversation:

    "Found our friend." Rirko texted Ami. "She's okay. Should be headed home now."

    "I'm glad. I was kinda freaking out." She replied.

    "Y?"

    "Cause she just up and left and I couldn't find her?"

    "Well, it worked out. She was shaken by the fight but I talked to her."

    "And?"

    "I told her to stay the way she is."

    "Obviously."

    "But maybe I can suggest to her she should try other teaching strategies. See what works?"

    "If it means not having a repeat of today. Miho will probably have Risa kicked off the team because of this thing."

    "Can she do that?"

    "Risa screwed up big time. If I was Miho, I'd probably kick her out."
    "Only because she destroyed you with that argument."

    "Piss off."

    "Wow, touchy. Sorry!"

    "All seriousness though. It looks like Risa won't be changing anytime soon."

    "Plan to talk to the three tmo. I'll have her sent down and we'll all have a nice chat."

    "By chat you mean 'argument.' What about the other two?"

    "Maki's a good kid. She knew she screwed up and she owned it. She has potential."

    "I'm getting that vibe too. And Yumi?"

    "Ehh…she's ok. She just needs to speak up a little more."

    "Like you?"

    "HOW?"

    "Why didn't you just ask for my help in getting to know the girls? You know I see them all the time?"

    "K…touché."

    "Touché?"

    "It's French. To get hit. That was a good hit."

    "Oh, KK. I get it. Talk you later?"

    "Yeah, thanks for today."

    ":D"
    And with that, Rirko closed his phone. Come tomorrow, he would have to still handle the fallout of the fight. Maki, Risa, and Yumi. Miho would have to make some hard choices. Kick Risa off the team? Or get rid of the entire team altogether? Or keep it as it is and let the performance of the whole suffer?

    Miho couldn't afford to make any fatal mistakes.
    Oorai School Ship – Miho's Apartment – Night

    The talk with Rirko made Miho feel better. However, she was still shaken up about what happened. It was the first time in her Sensha-do career that a fight broke out on her watch. She understood that tensions can run high but for it to reach this point?

    "You have a lot of hard choices ahead, Miss Nishizumi." Yukari was on the phone. She was overjoyed when Miho called.

    "I know. Risa's opposition to authority can prove disastrous towards the other teams. And I didn't like the way things turned out today."

    "You did your best." Yukari was being supportive. "Despite the circumstances, you were able to handle the problem the way you know how."

    "But if Miss Chono and Mr. Nagasawa weren't there. I wonder…how it would have turned out."

    "No use worrying about that now. Know that you have choices that will affect everyone. But no matter what, Anglerfish's got your back."

    Miho smiled at that. She could always count on her friends. "Thanks, Yukari. I have a lot of thinking to do."

    "Have a good night, Miss Nishizumi." As the phone clicked, Miho sighed.

    "If I remove Risa, then we need one more person and we can't afford to train someone new. She's overbearing to her teammates, she and Maki don't get along, and she's explosive when angered. Maki and Yumi, I'm able to deal with. It's just Risa. What to do about Risa?"

    A decision wasn't required at that point in time. But she knew she had to decide by the end of tomorrow afternoon. That's when training starts up again. Miho's style of command, that of a tactical and benevolent commander, was appealing to most. However, Risa was unfazed by this and did her own thing. Boot her, they are left with two people operating a tank. Keep her, and her personality would be poisonous to the other groups.

    Did she ever have to deal with a situation in her life like this before?

    Closing her eyes, she thought about what happened to her, when she was still very young. Back in middle school, when a similar situation played out.
    Chihiro Yusa and Emi Nakasuga fought because of a difference of opinion. Miho and Hitomi tried to reconcile both but failed that day. It reminded Miho the time when she started grade school and was excited about finding people who were interested in Sensha-do. There was no one. No one even wanted to attempt it because they thought it was too scary. She thought she finally found friends that could ride tanks with her but found herself all alone. That's when she went to her sister for help.

    "What? You want to quit studying Sensha-do?" Maho had a concerned look in her eyes.

    Miho nodded. "Yeah."

    "Did something happen?" After explaining the situation, Maho understood.

    "Oh, so that's what happened."

    "Yeah…they were really worried."

    "Were those friends of yours interested in tanks?"

    "Huh? Probably not, I guess."

    "Well then, they didn't even have the fundamentals down, you could say." Miho was confused. Where was her sister going with this?

    "In a match, if you don't understand your enemy, you can't even formulate a strategy. 'What kind of person is she?' 'What is her objective?' You can understand just by looking at them. It's okay Miho."

    At the time, Miho was young. She didn't understand. But now…even though Yusa and Emi fought, it didn't mean they hated Sensha-do.

    "I'll just have to try harder. To understand both of them. And get rid of the cause of their fighting. We can all ride tanks together! I'm going to do everything I can!"
    Miho opened her eyes in realization, with a flame of determination in her eyes.

    "I'm not giving up on her."
    Oorai Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Night

    Rirko's phone buzzed just as he was going to bed. As he looked through his e-mail, he saw one he didn't expect. It was from Miho.

    "I need to talk to you. Please come early tomorrow. It's about how Risa and Maki can make up!" ~Miho

    "Goddammit, Miho." Rirko sighed. More work. He had every right to say 'no.' That he had an important meeting between him and a big breakfast, or that he would be out during the morning for the local news. Then he thought how much of a jerk move that would be to someone who's trying to solve the problem.

    He quickly wrote a reply. "KK."

    Once again, he would be getting up early tomorrow. But oddly enough though, he was looking forward to it.
    A/N: Yay, another one. Hope you enjoyed. Will update, if necessary.
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: I hope that the flow of the story is not affected much. Some downtime with the new recruits after the drama of the last chapter. Hope you enjoy.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Morning

    Early the next morning, Rirko arrived at the school to meet with Miho. Although they agreed on meeting early on Mondays, this was an extraordinary circumstance. With the fight yesterday, the situation between Risa and Maki had to be nipped in the bud. If any of their in-fighting spilled upon the rest of the teams, the cohesion of all would be in jeopardy.

    An easier decision would be to boot Risa entirely. Rirko assumed that was the case. Ami, a Sensha-do instructor, even said that she would do that if she was in Miho's position. But, seeing how Miho wanted to make friends between the two, this was obviously not the case.

    He arrived early, with not a soul in sight. Fifteen minutes early. In his office, he booted up his computer and killed some time by reading international news. No surprise, the international community was in an uproar with the tankery sensation. If tankery evolved into a well-known sport, or pass like an outgoing fad, remained to be seen.

    Fifteen minutes later, there was a small knock on the door. The door opened and there was Miho, standing there with her bag and all. 7:30, right on the dot.

    Rirko greeted her. "Mornin' Miho."

    "Good morning, Mr. Nagasawa. I hope you are well." She gave a courteous bow.

    He motioned her to take a seat near the desk, opposite to him. They immediately went to work.

    "So…what is it that is so important that you had me meet you early in the morning?"

    "Our situation that we had the recruits. Between Risa and Maki?"

    "Yes, I was actually thinking of talking to them during the first period. Do some restorative justice with them."

    Miho was confused. "Restorative justice?"

    "It's when the guilty party and the victims are in the same room. The victims tell the perpetrator how they feel and in turn, the perpetrator tells them a thing or two. They then mediate a solution that is agreeable to both parties and may include community service as well."

    "Well…I, uh…"

    "What's up?"

    "Uh?"

    "Come on, speak up. I'm not going to bite. What's your idea?"

    Miho was surprised that Rirko wanted to know what she thought. Usually, when a teacher thought about a course of action, it was the end of discussion.

    "I was thinking about…maybe spending time with one of them…or both?"

    "Really? What brought this on?"

    "I had a similar situation happen when I was in middle school. Two friends fought over a difference of opinion regarding Sensha-do. I went to my sister for help. She said how learning about your opponent is vital to the success of a match. So, the same can be applied here."

    "In what way?"

    "We can get to know Risa and Maki. See what the problem between the two is and do the necessary steps to fix it."

    Admittedly, Rirko was red-faced. How could he have totally forgotten about the cardinal rule when dealing with behaviors? Get to know the person, find out how they tick and address the cause rather than the behavior. Seeing Rirko silent made Miho nervous.

    "But, uh, your idea works too, Mr. Nagasawa."

    Rirko smiled. "No, Miho. You're not back-pedaling your way out of this one. This is a fantastic idea. I'm just sad that I didn't think about doing that."

    "Eh?" A teacher admitting his mistakes? Miho had always thought that teachers knew better. When a student spoke out against a teacher, it was frowned upon by both the students and the staff.

    "As a counselor, talking to a person for the very first time, you're supposed to get to know them. My thought process was to get all three of them here and talk about what happened. However, what you're suggesting could be a better option. However…"

    "However?"

    "However, I can't-do that on my own. The recruits already see me in a position of authority. So, anything I say to them might be an instruction rather than advice. But you, Miho, could totally do that."

    "I was actually planning on it."

    "Oh? Have it all thought out, haven't you?"

    "Well," Miho blushed. "I'm actually flying off the seat of my pants."

    Rirko had the 'are you f***ing kidding me' look. He nodded. "Most of these situations require a creative way of thinking. So, I'm going to put you on lead. Just tell me, what do I need to do to assist you?"

    Miho was amazed. He must be kidding. Is a teacher asking her for help?

    "Here's what I need."
    With an eye patch, and her face returning to a nice shade of pink, Risa knew that she was up shit's creek without a paddle. Calmed down after she got home, she thought about the entire incident and replayed certain parts repeatedly in her head. She had always had an anger issue and tried hard to keep it in check. In the end, however, she concluded the same thing.

    It's that damn Maki's fault. I didn't think she would follow me to Sensha-do. But here she is! And now, I'm in trouble because of what she did.

    Maki was given a note from the homeroom teacher. It said to have her report to the counselor's office at the end of morning announcements. She complied if only to ditch first-period class. As she made her way to the office, she ruminated all the way there and repeating the same sad refrain, 'it's Maki's fault.' At last, she arrived at the office. Giving the door a firm knock, she opened the door. Sitting there was Maki, Rirko, and Miho. Maki had a sad look in her eye while Miho was silent.

    "Morning, Risa. We would be honored if you would join us." He motioned her to take a seat.

    Risa didn't know what was going on. However, she did know that Maki was there and that would mean that she would have an opportunity to ridicule her some more.

    I see that the troublemaker is here," Risa jeered. However, Maki didn't react. She chose not to.

    Rirko deflected using humor. "I know, I can be quite the troublemaker. But the question is: how did you know that?"

    "Are you an idiot? I wasn't talking about you, foreigner. I was talking about her." Maki closed her eyes. She didn't get it. Usually, she would be on her by now and would be having an argument.

    "Ok, are you quite done? I'd like to get started soon, if possible." Taken aback, Risa took a seat. Soon after, there was another knock on the door.

    "And there is number three." Yumi walked over to the group.

    "Good morning, everyone." Yumi gave a gentle bow. Again, Rirko motioned her to take a seat.

    "Good. Now that everyone's here, we can begin." All the girls turned to Rirko. "I think you all know the reason why we're here."

    "To talk about what happened yesterday?" Yumi replied.

    "Yes. It was quite the scene."

    "I still say that Maki's responsible!" Risa boasted. Everyone just looked at her silently. Maki didn't even look; she still had her eyes closed.

    "Risa…seriously? Can't you take the hint?" Risa couldn't respond to that so she kept quiet.

    "My plan was to talk about what happened, however, that would only be solving for part of the problem. Consequences aside, Commander Nishizumi had a brilliant idea that can be beneficial to all parties present."

    Rirko turned to Risa, "Risa, meet your new best friend!" He pointed to Miho who smiled and waved.

    Risa stood up. "What the f***?!"

    "You'll be spending the day with Miho. Her homeroom class will be going outside to the forest at back. The faculty wanted to try an 'outdoor classroom' scenario. Be attentive to nature and see if the students focused better, and all that."

    "Hell…no!" Risa was obviously against this. She didn't want to be spending time with her Sensha-do captain. "I'm not dealing with this bullshit!" She turned towards the door.

    "Then I guess there's no other option. Tell me, what did the Student Council president say if you didn't participate in Sensha-do?" Risa looked at Rirko fiercely.

    "Who told you that?"

    "When Miho asked about how she could recruit two people right away, Anzu was very forthcoming with her tactics. You leave this room, you'll be considered kicked out. And we both know what happens then."

    Risa silently listened. She leaves, she would be expelled. She stayed, and she would have to spend an insufferable day with Miss Sunshine.

    "One day or an expulsion. These are your options. Which to choose?"

    Risa sighed. In the end, she couldn't be expelled. If she was, then she would have to go back to living on the mainland with her family. And she really didn't like her family. She was here at Oarai because a family member got her a scholarship on the ship for the school year. Her renewal was up at the end of June so she had to make the grade or get sent back.

    "Fine, I'll do your stupid thing."

    "It's not my stupid thing," Rirko clarified. "Miho will be the one taking you. And for the love of God, try to behave yourself. If you're going to give her a hard time, you might as well pack your bags."

    Risa was clearly annoyed by Rirko's constant instruction. She wasn't one to take orders unless it suited her needs. But her needs were to stay in school so she had no other choice, lest she wanted to leave.

    Risa turned to Miho and bowed. "Please take care of me, Sempai." In a monotone voice.

    Miho smiled. "I promise, you'll enjoy yourself. Everyone is friendly in my class."

    As Risa and Miho left the room, Rirko turned his attention to the others. "And now, for you two."
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Forest – Morning

    "Alright girls, we'll end it there." The homeroom teacher instructed the students to find a place, in pairs, to complete their textbook work. Risa didn't have any, as she was not part of the class. She was, however, was tethered to Miho so wherever she went, Risa went.

    Risa was immediately hostile to the rest of Anglerfish. Saori had some choice words when Risa said something about being an 'old hag.' Hana just smiled warmly and Mako just slept. With Anglerfish nearby, Miho and Risa found a place near the riverbed. Setting up a small site, Miho perched her textbook on a side of a rock and her notebook on the ground. Risa sat perched on a big rock, looking bored. She looked at her phone.

    Risa was annoyed. "Damn it, no bars. How far out are we?"

    Miho shrugged. "Far enough that there are no cell phone towers to grab a signal." Miho started to work on her textbook. "The class is supposed to be near the school but far away from civilization. I guess that what they meant when they said, 'outdoor classroom.'"

    Risa made a grunt and stared at the stream. There was something oddly calming about listening to the currents and as the breeze flow through the air. It was a sunny day, but cloudy enough that they wouldn't be scorched.

    "So…why do you want me here?" Risa asked Miho after a while.

    "Huh?"

    "I said, why do you want me here?"

    Miho thought for a moment. "I want to get to know you better. You're just starting school and you've just joined the team."

    "So, why aren't you seeing the other freshmen? Why just me?"

    "I need to know my new commander. Out of all the freshmen, you're the one that stood out to me. I choose you for the position of commander because you have confidence and a loud voice. That's important in a leader."

    "So why don't you do it."

    Miho smiled. "It's not my style. But then again, people learn through different ways."

    "Huh…" Risa was initially annoyed by being with Miho, but now she felt differently. It was how Miho talked, so calm and collected. She was everything she wanted to be.

    It was Miho's turn to ask a question. "So, what made you choose Oarai in the first place?"

    "My cousin was able to get a scholarship for me last year. Mind you, I still had to go to the interview. My grades in middle school were above average. If it wasn't for my cousin, I wouldn't have been considered."

    "Looks like you owe your cousin."

    "Yeah. She's letting me stay with her while I'm attending here."

    "At least you got someone to care for you."

    "What? You don't?"

    Miho was quiet when Risa asked that. "Well, I live by myself."

    "But, you have family members somewhere, right?"

    "My sister is in Kuromorimine right now. As is my mother."

    "And your dad?"

    Miho shrugged. "My father was a mechanic... but…" Once again, Miho wouldn't elaborate.

    Key word: was. Risa had always taken for granted the importance of family. She had always thought that her family was being too restrictive. They told her not to do things she enjoyed and always pushed her to do things that were boring. She didn't know at the time, that they were only looking after her and her well-being. But Miho had no one. No family. No one to turn to.

    "So, you're here all alone?" Risa asked. Miho shook her head.

    "My friends are like my extended family. My team can also be considered family as well. So long as we have each other, we can do many things."

    "Always the optimist, huh?"

    "I don't know. That's how I feel." There was a long silence after that. The water glistened with the sun's rays piercing through the bottom. The clouds danced, hiding the sun, then showing it again. At this point, Risa felt comfortable. She wasn't angry or annoyed or sad. She was at peace. But it wasn't because of the scenery. She could care less about that. It was something small, but powerful at the same time.

    "Miho!" Saori's voice called. "Lunch!"

    Miho smiled and waved. "Coming!" Gathering her things, she tripped on a rock and dropped all her stuff. She started to pick her things up when Risa handed her notebook.

    "Are you always this clumsy?" Risa asked, with a smirk.

    "Unfortunately, yes. Thank you." Miho took the notebook and started walking towards her friends. Risa stayed put.

    "Aren't you coming?"

    Risa was surprised. "Huh?"

    "It's lunchtime. You did bring a lunch, didn't you?"

    "Y-Yeah, I did. I was going to eat by myself…you know?"

    "You can eat with us! Come on!" As Miho walked towards her friends, Risa's heart burned a little. For a long time, she hadn't felt this feeling. This feeling, of love.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office– Morning

    "And now, for you two."

    "What are you going to do to us?" Yumi asked, in an almost quiet voice.

    Rirko looked at them. "Get those thoughts out of your head. I'm not going to hurt you. Come on!"

    Yumi and Maki relaxed a little. For a minute, they really thought that they were going to die or worse.

    "While Miho is with Risa, I'll be talking to the both of you."

    "Why us?" Asked Maki.

    "Because it's not fair for Miho to hog all the fun. Maki, you did really well taking my advice."

    Maki shook her head. "It wasn't easy. Still isn't."

    The advice Rirko was referring to be the same advice he gave to Ami. To 'drop the rope.' Before Yumi and Risa arrived, Miho and Rirko had a talk with Maki.

    From their conversation, Maki was popular in middle school. She was active in all manners of activities. Her family encouraged her to go into acting. However, Maki didn't like to act but rather have fun like any other kid. However, during her last year, things went downhill. Both her parents got into drinking and gambling habits due to the stress of the workplace. Being an only child, when her friends were gone, she had no one else to be with. It got so bad that children's services had to be involved and Maki was forced to live with her grandparents on Oarai. It was here; she completed her last year of middle school and began her high school.

    Once having everything, she had nothing. The family situation made her apathetic in her extracurricular activities and soon dropped it entirely. She thought that when she started high school, she would begin anew. However, she didn't count on Risa being there. Neither of them had a history with one another but Risa started to bother Maki from day one. By all accounts, Risa was the aggressor.
    "Why do you think Risa's always going after you?"

    "She has it out for me ever since middle school."

    "So, you knew her?" Miho asked.

    "Barely. She was the quiet type, didn't have many friends."

    "And you?"

    "The exact opposite. I had a lot of friends."

    "And a lot more going?" Rirko asked. Maki nodded. So, it could be a result of jealousy that Risa could be doing this?

    "She didn't start doing this until we started high school. We're in the same homeroom and she was bothering me to no end."

    "Did you tell her to stop?" Miho asked.

    "Countless times. Finally, I decided to stop being nice."

    "And that's when the fighting started."

    "…yeah."
    Rirko pondered on this. Maki was obviously trying to resolve the issue the best way she knew how. But what if, there was another way?

    "Did you try, oh I don't know, not being interested in her anymore?"

    Maki was confused. "What do you mean?"

    "Well, I mean if an argument started between the two and you don't reply back, would she eventually stop?"

    "Do you think if that worked, I wouldn't be here?!" Maki was riled up on this.

    "Right, okay. Are you pissed off at the fact that everything you tried did nothing?"

    "Of course, I'm pissed!"

    "Tell me."

    "I'm just starting high-school. I'm supposed to make a lot of friends. But then this BITCH keeps bothering me and soon no one wants to associate themselves with me. The only reason why she joined Sensha-do was that I was doing it too."

    "That and you were forced by the president."
    "That's beside the point! Her only want in life is to make my life a living hell! Want me to talk about my feelings?! I'm pissed! There!" Maki exploded upon the two. Miho was scared and confused. Rirko, just stared. He didn't say anything. He waited for Maki to take back control.

    "Are you done yelling in my ear? All I asked was if you were pissed off and maybe a short summary of what's going on but this works too."

    Maki sighed. "I'm sorry. I guess…I guess I needed to get that off my chest."

    "And how do you feel?"

    Maki thought for a moment. "Okay?"

    "Well you just blew up right in front of us so if you weren't okay I would be concerned. But now you got that out of your system. Maybe it's time to try that approach again."

    "How's it going to be any different?"

    "You didn't happen to break when you tried to ignore her, right?"

    "Well," Maki shifted her chair. "I tried ignoring her for a while until she got to me. Then I snapped at her."

    "And that's the reaction she's looking for. She wants you pissed and knows that she'll get more out of you so long she does the thing you don't like."

    "Eh?"
    "So, the next time she does that, just 'drop the rope.'"

    "Drop the rope?"

    "Don't even engage in that kind of conversation. If she's bothering you, move somewhere else, or if you find you can't move close your eyes and breathe slow. And if it becomes a real problem, tell anyone of us. We don't look kindly on bullying because that is what it is."

    "And you think it'll work?"

    "If you get pissed, you're giving her what she wants. However, if you don't react, then she'll have nothing to work with. She'll be the one making a fool out of herself."

    Maki never considered this option. It didn't even cross her mind.

    "If it means getting Risa off my back, I'll try anything."
    "She'll still find a way around it," Maki noted.

    Rirko nodded. "But that's only if Miho is unsuccessful. And from talking with her friends, she persuasive, if not persistent."

    Rirko turned to Yumi. "You tried to play peacekeeper between these two?"

    Yumi nodded.

    "And you stopped because…"

    "It was us," Maki replied. "We blew up on her one time because she was getting annoying. I'm sorry Yumi. You only wanted us to work together."

    "It's okay Maki. I'd like for all of us to work as a team."

    "And a team you shall be. You two get along just fine. The question now is: whether Risa will be coming on board?"
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Forest – Afternoon

    Anglerfish and Risa spent the lunch hour, speaking about their summer. What did they do? What activities would they be open to doing together? During these conversations, Risa was silent and Mako slept.

    Miho was finishing her bento box. "So, what did you do for summer, Risa?"

    "Uh…well." To be honest, Risa's summer was uneventful. There were only a couple of places she went. And they were all alone. "I didn't really go anywhere. Just stayed in the area."

    "Oh, you should definitely try visiting one of the school carrier ships the next time they dock," Saori suggested. They have a lot of fun things there!"

    "Well, I'll see if I can do that in the future."

    Hana sipped on her water bottle. "It'll be a great experience for you. The carrier ships are like a small country. So many things to experience. You don't need a passport or anything."

    Risa was lucky she got into Oarai. She wouldn't have known all the places she could visit if she didn't talk to her seniors.

    "Whatever makes you happy."

    "Happy?" Risa pondered on the word. "Happy."

    "Something up, Risa?" Miho asked.

    "Just that word 'happy.'

    Lunch break was over. Anglerfish separated again and agreed to meet up back at the tank sheds for the afternoon practice. Saori still had the problem of dragging Mako away.

    Once again, it was Risa and Miho by the riverbed. Risa took her position on the rock and Miho set herself back up just like in the morning. The sounds of nature sung aloud around them. After a few minutes of silence, Risa couldn't take it anymore.

    "Sempai?"

    "Yes?"

    "Let's say there's a person you really admire. That you wanted the things that person has. And you decide that you would bother that person because it made you feel good. Is it wrong?"

    It didn't even take Miho a second to decide. "Yes. Because you'll be hurting yourself more."

    "In what way?"

    Miho stopped writing and looked at her. "Someone may feel good for a short time. But then, that pain returns. So, you do it again. And the same thing happens. It's a cycle of anger and sadness. That's no way to live."

    "So, what should that person do then? She can't exactly go up to her victim and act all buddy-buddy and act like it never happened."

    "That's why it's important to talk about what happened with the person. The reason why you did the things that you did. That you felt 'this way' or did it for 'this reason.'"

    "What happens if she doesn't forgive you?"

    "Then you have no regrets. You acknowledge what you did was wrong. Whether or not that person forgives you is on them. Some people can't forgive, no matter how long it's been."

    "How many times does that person need to apologize?"

    "As many as it takes. So long as you don't give up and be persistent, you'll be listened to eventually."

    Obviously, Risa was speaking about herself. She had always admired Maki's popularity in middle school. She was the person that had everything and Risa had nothing. So, when they both went to the same high-school, Risa thought it would be fun to have a little bit of payback. Make her suffer for all the years she spent in Maki's shadow.

    In the end, though, it was like Miho said. She didn't feel any better about herself. Perhaps, maybe even guilty. She acted like the bully only trying to get attention. Her family life, coupled with this fact, had Risa fall through the cracks. And perhaps she would have fallen further, if not for Anzu who picked her up and forced her into Sensha-do.

    "Not giving up, eh? Like I said, always the optimist. Thanks, Miho."

    "Eh, what did I do?"

    "Wait…did you…" Risa decided to drop it. Miho didn't realize that the advice she gave was meant for her.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds - Afternoon

    Rirko, Maki, and Yumi made their way to the training grounds. He then saw Anglerfish headed towards them.

    "Good afternoon, Mr. Nagasawa," Yukari yelled.

    "Hi girls, how's life?"

    "Alright?" Saori didn't get the question. Life was a very broad subject. "And you?"

    "Well…" he looked at Maki and Yumi. "I could complain but that would be lying."

    "Eh?"

    Miho and Rise soon joined soon after. Now was the moment of truth: if Rise and Maki could work together. Both girls saw and walked towards each other and stared.

    "I can't tell you why I've been bugging you," Rise started. "But I am sorry for acting the way I did. Maybe someday, I can tell you."

    Maki was silent for a moment. "Yeah. Me too. Truce?"

    "Truce."

    "You're the commander," Maki declared. "But know if there are things I don't like, I will tell you."

    Rise agreed. "So long as we have a clear discussion on it and you have a good reason why. I don't mind hearing you out."

    There were still some things to work on. But at least Rise and Maki were on speaking terms. Miho and Yumi smiled brightly. Now maybe things could hopefully go back on track.

    Rirko rubbed his hands together. "Are you two done? Got it out of your system? Then if that's the case, maybe now we can fire some guns."
    A/N: I don't have much to say but thank you for all of your generous support and feedback. I've been working really hard on this story. I have to get it done before my muse goes away. Yeah. Thanks.
     
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    • Uploader's Note: Long chapter ahead. That's all I'm going to say.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: So a couple of notes here:

    - I will not, repeat NOT be doing in-depth tank battle scenes. The reason for this is I don't have enough imagination to think of an entire match using tank lingo. If you are looking for in-depth action, the best I can do for you is four paragraphs. Sorry.

    - The first counselling session. There's gonna be some things that some people might disagree with. Please let me know, it helps with the story.

    - The location of the match: I hope it's suitable. The nearest port is in Fuji and I thought it would be best to have the match in the famous 'Sea of Trees.' To be honest, I thought about having it on Glorianna's Carrier Ship but I don't know if they had matches on the ships.

    That being said, updates might be forthcoming. Will post as needed.
    Match Between Glorianna and Oarai: Yamanashi Prefecture - Aokigahara (Sea of Trees) - Morning

    The weekend of the match with Glorianna. Tensions ran high, even though it was an exhibition match. Oarai had to come up on top to be a top-notch team. Although they were, already, this was to solidify their position on the charts.

    Miho, with her tank commanders, reviewed the strategy. They made minor changes to the plan. However, everyone seemed to know what was going on. Once again, having Miho at the helm eased the nervousness each team was facing. Glorianna was no push-over. Twice, they faced them and both times they lost. The team was ready, prepared and confident that the strategy won't fail. At least, hope it wouldn't fail. Suddenly, a jeep was speeding towards them and slowed to a halt.

    Inside, Glorianna's Sensha-do captain, Darjeeling, with her adjuncts Orange Pekoe and Assam. Darjeeling's braided and neat blonde hair radiated a sense of dignity and grace, which was a prerequisite to being part of the Tea Garden; Glorianna's name for the group of elites at the school.

    "A good day to you fine ladies," Darjeeling greeted warmly. "Thank you for taking us up on our challenge."

    "Darjeeling! It's great to see you!" Miho hadn't seen Glorianna since the University match and when the temporary transfers were over. It was still good to see old friends.

    "I see that you have quite the fan club, this time." Darjeeling looked over towards the bleachers. Indeed, a lot of people from Oarai showed up.

    "Oh? Ah, yes, they're our new recruits with our chaperons."

    "Chaperon? As in singular?" inquired Darjeeling.

    Miho chuckled a little. "No, chaperons, as in plural."

    "I see." Darjeeling looked again. This time, not only did she noticed Ami in the crowd, she also noticed a nervously, looking Rirko. "That man wouldn't be also your chaperon?"

    "Yes, he's actually our school's counselor. But…" Miho was wondering why Rirko looked so nervous?

    "Well, we wanted to see you before the match. It's time for us to depart. May we meet on the battlefield Miho."

    "And you as well." As both friends departed, Miho wondered what type of strategy Glorianna employed and if they will be ready.

    "Well?" Darjeeling wanted the opinions of Orange and Assam.

    "They didn't change their layout, so we don't have to worry about new weaponry or armor," Assam noted.

    Orange added. "But Miho looks confident in herself. She wasn't nervous or anything."

    "Have you heard this saying? Keep calm and carry on!"

    "Winston Churchill, yes?" Orange smiled.

    Assam groaned. "It's just reminded me about how everyone butchers this saying by posting all of those silly images on the internet."

    "It's important to have a sense of humor," Darjeeling smiled. "Otherwise, how else will you enjoy life?"

    "Very profound, Miss Darjeeling." Orange complimented.

    "I aim to please."
    Match Spectator Stands - Aokigahara- Morning

    Out on the bleachers, the recruits were talking amongst themselves, waiting for the match to start. Rirko, with his arms crossed and standing, and Ami were surveying the battleground.

    "Glorianna always like their forests," noted Ami.

    "Isn't it supposed to be simulating the English forests? Is that why they're so many trees here?"

    "I don't know. Wait, what do you mean 'English forests?'" The terrain that the matches were held were indigenous of each ship's corresponding culture. In Glorianna's case, the English mountainside, perhaps? Anyways, it was a far-fetched guess than anything.

    "Aren't you supposed to know this, Miss Sensha-do instructor?"

    "Can't say? Why don't you talk to the trees so you'll know?"

    "Cool, that's cool." Rirko knew that Ami was joking. They were always taking jabs ever since he joined her during practices. Since the girls were so far away, they only had each other to keep company. Rirko noticed something in the corner of his eye. "Hmm…"

    "What is it?"

    "Well…I know it's rude to point so look over there." He shifted his eyes to the right side, as did Ami. She suddenly realized what it was. On another bleacher, there were two individuals glancing at them periodically. Both women. One wore a black and silver uniform with a matching beret. The other wore a nice, clean black and white office ensemble.

    "Maho and Shiho. I didn't know that they were going to be there."

    Maho Nishizumi, the Sensha-do Commandant for Kuromorimine as well as the heir to the Nishizumi legacy. She was the living embodiment of the style. Her eyes had a cool look, devoid of feeling or emotion. Shiho Nishizumi, the current head of the family, chairperson of the Japanese Sensha-do Federation and Headmistress of Kuromorimine. Just like Maho, she held the same eyes, only it was like a wolf stalking its prey.

    "First impressions?" Ami asked.

    "I'm not going to lie. That lady is intimidating as hell. She's looking at me like…"

    "You're some sort of foreigner?"

    "…really Ami? Really?"

    "I kid. But you're right. She's intimidating to most, especially when it comes to Sensha-do. A taskmaster, she expects nothing but excellence from her students."

    "So," Rirko said ponderingly. "I suppose that Shiho has zero tolerance when it comes to failure?"

    Ami sighed. "She has a tolerance. It's just very low. I mean, if you're a senior there's no excuse. If you're starting out, she gets it but she's always pushing and pushing. It's to weed out the weak to make room for the strong. Either way, you'd be screwed."

    "In what way?"

    "Once, I lost an exhibition match against Saunders. The entire team was running drills overnight until morning."

    "Wow. Hardcore."

    "Some say she is. But others say she's passionate in what she does. To others, it's just seen the wrong way."

    "Yeah." Rirko hears what Ami was saying. No doubt that Shiho was not well liked in the community. However, she was respected. A dedicated teacher in Sensha-do, she expected her students to excel. And she wasn't about to play favorites with her own daughters.

    "Will you be talking to them?" Asked Ami.
    "Hell no. I don't even want to meet them. As soon as the match is over, I'll make my way to the girls. You can knock yourself out."

    "Aw, come on. You'll have an opportunity to meet with the legendary Nishizumi family. A lot of people would take that."

    "Uh, no. I wouldn't not want to be poking that bear."

    "She won't kill you."

    "You don't know that!" Rirko was genuinely nervous about being around a person like Shiho. But then again, like Maho, she could be wearing a nice mask.
    "Hmm…" Shiho was focused on Ami and Rirko from a distance, then glanced away.

    "What is it, mother?" Maho asked.

    "I cannot read him," she mumbled.

    "Mother?"

    "Why is that man with Ami? She never brought anyone else with her before. Now, this newcomer is here. And a foreigner, no less."

    "Perhaps, he is a partner?"

    "Perish the thought, Maho! Ami is a free spirit, not interested in being shackled to family life. No, there's another reason."

    Maho was once again a victim of Shiho's monologue.

    "I'm sure there's a reason for this man's intrusion."

    "Yes. But…he's different.

    "How?"

    Shiho couldn't put her finger on it. The men that she met thus far had been always intimidated with her presence. With Rirko, she felt strange. She didn't know what that feeling was.

    She gave a deep sigh. 'Tsuneo, if you could see your daughter now…'

    "Are you alright, mother?"

    "Maho, focus on the match."

    "Yes, mother."
    Match Battlegrounds - Aokigahara- Morning

    The match was about to begin. Both sides joined the judges on the field.

    "All participants, bow!"

    "Let's have a good battle!"

    And so, the match between Glorianna and Oarai began. With their usual contingent of one Churchill and nine Matildas, Glorianna advanced. Their strategy was to keep their steady advance and use evasive maneuvers when engaging the enemy. Their main problem before was they did little to evade when the enemy attacks. Darjeeling sought to rectify the problem by training the team to use quick decision making and engage freely. They would use a reactive approach and see what Oarai had in store.

    Oarai, however, had somewhat of a different strategy. Called "Operation: Butterfly" it used the flag tank as a decoy with the Hetzer and Stug III as two envoys. When Glorianna advanced through the middle to engage the tanks, the M3 and Char B1 engaged the Matildas from the back. The Matildas adjusted tactics and sent four (two for each side) to engage the tanks. The M3 and Char B1 retreated towards the forests. The four Matildas searched for the tanks. However, they didn't notice that the M3 and Char had slipped right past them by turning off their engines and hiding their tanks in a tarp.

    Meanwhile, the remaining Matildas and the Churchill advanced on the Panzer envoy. Suddenly, the Type 89 and the Hetzer both went in opposite directions on a ridge, leaving the Panzer exposed. Darjeeling took the opportunity to fire upon the Panzer, however, the M3 and the Char came from the back, just like before. Further, the Type 89 and Hetzer did an about-face and headed back towards the envoy, using momentum to gain speed. Oarai had entrapped the Churchill/Four Matildas into a pincer maneuver. Glorianna could knock out four of Oarai's tanks before their flag tank was hit.

    And with that, the match ended in Oarai's favor.

    The spectator's cheered loud, but the recruits cheered even louder. Never had they seen a strategy so complex so easily executed. They felt that if the team could do it, they could do it too. Rirko was happy, of course, by he couldn't show it. At the corner of his eye, he saw Shiho with a distasteful look. She was obviously not happy.

    "Check out Miss Sunsmile." Rirko quipped, motioning Ami to look.

    "I told you, the Nishizumi style is to always advance, never retreat. As you can see, Miho's style is played out very differently. Using hit and run tactics, it's considered an insult to Shiho."

    "If the Nishizumi style means charging blindly without any regard for loss, then it's a bad style."

    Ami gave a faint smile. "Yeah, well you're not the only one with that opinion."

    As the recruits made their way down to the bleachers to meet up with the rest of the team, Rirko saw something disturbing.

    Maho and Shiho were headed right for them. If Eiko was the "Wicked Bitch of the East" then Shiho would be the "Wicked Bitch of the West" with Maho as her flying monkey.

    "Ami, I'm leaving."

    "Wha- Really, why are you…" Ami then noticed the two women advancing towards them. "Oh, I see. You want me to cover you?"

    "Be a dear, won't you?"

    "I'll do it. But don't ever call me 'dear' again."

    "Yes, my mistress."

    "Just go."

    Rirko took the pathway down the bleachers and around towards the teams. When Shiho saw, she motioned Maho to follow him. Understanding, she went.

    "Ami," Shiho called out to her.

    "Sensei. Always good to see you."

    I would imagine. "Hmm."

    "Came here for the match?"

    "If you even call it that," Shiho quipped. "That daughter of mine, I swear."

    "Why don't you meet her?"

    "Ami, you know we're not on speaking terms right now." She said it in a hostile manner but inside it was sad.

    "Well, you do what you think right."

    "By the way, who was that man you were with right now." Now Shiho was trying to pry for information.

    "That's Ooarai's new school counselor for the year. Rirko Nagasawa."

    "I see." Oarai's new student counselor. I heard that MEXT was assigning counselors to each of the schools, but a foreigner? "Why is he a foreigner?"

    "He's part of MEXT's teacher exchange program. The exchanged happened before the new rules were set in place."

    "Hmmm." That would explain a few things. But Shiho wanted to know more.

    "How is he in his approach? What is his job, exactly?"

    "Well, besides taking care of the school's mental well-being, he's helping the girls develop into a more cohesive group. We have new recruits this year."

    "Is he familiar with Sensha-do?"

    "He never saw a Sensha-do match before, it's his first time."

    "Really? How is he supposed to help if this is his first time at a match? I would imagine experienced people are needed for that."

    Ami agreed. "You're right. However, he knows how to work the human mind."

    "Human mind?"

    "He's approachable. He's flexible and is able to discern a person's true feelings just by talking to them."

    "As fitting of his station."

    "And that's why he's an important part of the team."

    Now Shiho was more curious than ever. What was he planning to do? Is his intent for good, or ill?
    Open Field of Aokigahara - Team Tents - Afternoon

    Rirko made his way to where the teams were assembled. Walking on the lush grass, he stopped to admire the forest's beauty. He made his way to an open field.

    'It's like walking in a garden. Good for the soul. To get away from it all and just be alone with your thoughts.' He was about to do just that, if only for a little while before he heard a voice calling out.

    "Excuse me? Sir?"

    Rirko turned around and saw Maho walking towards him. Her pace appeared brisker than his.

    'Damnit, it's the monkey. Well, at least it's not the witch.' When she caught up with him, she introduced herself.

    "I am Maho Nishizumi, Sensha-do Captain for Kuromormine Girl's High School." She gave a respectful bow.

    Rirko did likewise. "I am Rirko Nagasawa. Student counselor for Oarai Girl's Academy. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

    Maho's mind raced at the words 'student counselor.'

    "A student counselor?" Maho inquired. "Is the student counselor responsible for the well-being of the school?"

    "If you mean the emotional well-being, then yes."

    "Tell me, is this a permanent position, or are you temporary?"

    "Temporary. I'm here until the end of the school year."

    "I see. Unfortunate."

    What did she mean by 'unfortunate?' "Is that a problem?"

    "No…no problem at all. I am here to introduce myself, at the behest of my headmistress, Shiho Nishizumi."

    "You mean your mother?" Rirko quipped.

    "Yes. My mother."

    "So, why don't you just call her 'your mother?'" This hit a cord within Maho, but she didn't show it.

    "The headmistress prefers me to address someone of status properly in public."

    "Right." Rirko was surprised. Was Shiho so strict that just addressing someone incorrectly was punishable?

    "At any rate, I must return to the headmistress. Good day." Maho began to leave. "And Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Yes?"

    Maho looked at him. "My sister happens to be Oarai's Sensha-do commander. You know this?"

    "She may have mentioned it before."

    "Be that as it may. However, remember that regardless of present circumstances, she still carries the name 'Nishizumi' and should be treated as such. And if anything happens to her, I will be speaking to you again."

    As Maho said this, Rirko could felt her murderous intent. Stoic in her conversation, however that last part she showed hostility towards him when it came to Miho. Like her sister, an enigma. As Maho walked back to the bleachers, Rirko was alone with his thoughts once again. If Miho was now showing signs of breaking due to past trauma, can the same be said to Maho as well?
    Aokigahara - Team Tents - Afternoon

    The two teams were praising each other on a good match! The excitement was felt by all sides. By the looks of it, if you didn't see the match, you would think Glorianna won. Darjeeling, with Orange and Assam, looked for Miho.

    "What an excellent strategy. This battle has been most beneficial for future engagements!" Darjeeling was beaming. Although she lost, it did give her ideas about tactics.

    "I agree! Let's brainstorm when we get back." Assam was just as excited.

    Orange pointed out the obvious. "After tea?"

    "Of course, dear Pekoe. After tea. What barbarian would forget tea." The three girls sifted through Glorianna/ Oarai mates alike before finding their girl.

    "And the girl of the hour!" Darjeeling exclaimed. "Well done!"

    Miho gave a weak smile. "Thank you…Darjeeling."

    This disturbed Darjeeling quite a bit. For the first time since meeting her, she had never seen her in this manner. "Miho, dear? What happened? You look…winded."

    Miho reassured Darjeeling and everyone that she was okay. "I'm fine. Excuse me." With Yukari helping her, she made her way to one of the medical tents.

    Darjeeling, Assam, and Orange were disturbed by these events.

    'Just what happened to Miho,' pondered Darjeeling.

    Assam had a concerned look. "Is she alright?"

    "Just exhausted after this match," replied Saori. "She was up all night trying to perfect the butterfly strategy."

    "How late?" Orange asked.

    "Oh…until this early morning?" Hana tried to cover for Miho. It worked somewhat.

    The three Glorianna girls gave each other a look. Obviously, their friends were hiding something. But to accuse them of something without evidence would be disgraceful.

    For now, Darjeeling could offer support. "Very well. Once again girls, congratulations. Please give our best to Miho, won't you?"

    "We will," Saori cheerfully replied.

    "And please." Darjeeling wore a concerned look. "Let us know if you need anything."

    Anglerfish could do nothing but smile. They needed to smile…to hide their sadness.
    Oarai Medical Tent - Afternoon

    "Miss Nishizumi, relax. Breathe slow."

    Yukari was comforting Miho while both sat on a cot. During the match, Miho felt a panic attack coming on. Her breathing became harder, and there was a lump in her throat. She pushed herself to finish the match…perhaps pushed too much. When it was all said and done, Miho clutched her chest and breathed heavily. Of course, Anglerfish was freaking out and wanted to call the medic. But Miho practically begged them not to. They couldn't. If they did, Rirko would have suspended her. They covered for her until they got to the team tents.

    Panic attacks could be masqueraded as overexertion because of exercise. The two are hard to distinguish. A person could just chalk up the shortness of breath and increase heart rate due to exercise, not knowing that it would be a full-blow panic attack.

    Miho felt herself regaining control. The lump was still there, but it was a miniscule feeling. She regulated her breathing to the point of normalcy.

    "Didn't the medicine help?" asked Yukari. "Are you taking them?!"

    "Yes…" Miho had a raspy voice. She tried to reach for a cup of water. Yukari handed over to her. "I know everyone is concerned. I'm taking them, believe me!"

    Yukari held Miho's hand tightly and rubbed her back. "I'm here. Everyone is here. No need to feel this way."

    This went on for another twenty minutes. Her body needed to take some time to regulate itself. Finally, she felt fine.

    "I think that you should see the doctor again." Yukari wanted Miho not to suffer another attack like that again.

    "I can manage with what I have."

    "But Miss Nishizumi, you were really hurting in that tank! Everyone could see! That's not managing!"

    And Yukari was right. When that attack happened, Miho felt that her heart was going to jump out of her chest. It was a scary ordeal.

    "Please don't yell." Miho feared Yukari's outburst. "I'm listening to you. Please."

    "I'm concerned about you Miss Nishizumi." Yukari calmed herself down. "This isn't like you. This isn't like you at all." She put her face near her shoulder and started to cry.

    "I know…" Miho felt guilty dragging her friends into her problems. Once again, she felt as if she let them down. But she couldn't cry. Yukari was comforting her…but Miho felt the need to take care of her friend. She put her hand on her head.

    The two friends just sat there silently…for another half hour before returning to the team.
    Match Spectator Stands - Aokigahara - Afternoon

    "So, who will be Oarai's next opponent?" Shiho asked.

    Ami replied, "it's not set in stone yet but Pravda was asking for a practice match. To prepare for the Nationals this year. We're also invited to their Winter Festival."

    A waste of time, Ami. You should be practicing crushing them, not making friendlies. "Huh. Why would Pravda invite you to a Winter Festival?"

    "Well, from what I heard from the Student Council Katyusha, Pravda's Commander, was impressed with the finals that she wanted to reward Miho and her team, out of the goodness of her generous heart."

    Egotistic ingrate. "Well, I'm sure there's an underlying reason why she wants you there. Be wary, Ami."

    "Sensei, the girls are in good terms with their opponents. Miho taught the philosophy that 'yesterday's enemies are today's friends.'"

    The concept of 'friendship' and 'teammates' was the opposite of what Shiho believed. She believed that teammates exist only as extensions of the commander who would deliver victory. Camaraderie had no place in the Nishizumi style as far as Shiho was concerned.

    "That kind of compassion on the field of Sensha-do will be used by the enemy as a weakness. Oarai will surely fall."

    Ami looked at her. "But sensei…Sensha-do is a sport, remember?"

    For a split moment, Shiho was lost in thought. Her mind wandered to a similar conversation:
    "Sensha-do is not a sport, it's a battle of wills."

    "Sensha-do is a sport. Meant to be enjoyed like any other sport. Why are you so serious about this? Aren't you having fun?"

    "It's not supposed to be 'fun'"

    "Then you're doing it wrong."
    "Hmm…" I lost my train of thought.

    "Sensei?" Just then, Maho returned. "I am back, headmistress. Apologizes for the delay."

    "Maho, we're leaving."

    "Yes." As the two women started to make their way down, Ami called out to Shiho one last time.

    "Sensei? Will you be there in the next match?"

    Shiho closed her eyes and walked out to the pathway. She wasn't even going to dignify that question with a response.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship- Miho's Apartment – Morning - Next Day

    Monday morning, Miho was awake and prepared for the day. Putting on her uniform, eating a bit of breakfast, putting her shoes on, making sure everything is neatly packed in her bag, heading out the front door…turning back after a few steps, locking the door, then heading out.

    It was still early so she couldn't smell the fresh bread. Hardly a soul in sight, except the ones who were working early shifts at their jobs. Miho just walked, in silence. Carrying her bag up the hill and towards the school. When she reached the top, she felt winded.

    'Funny…Since when going up the hill became so hard?' Taking a few seconds to catch her breath, she walked to the main entrance.
    Oarai's Girls Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

    "Happy Monday." Rirko poured some hot coffee, grabbed some cream from the mini fridge he purchased a few weeks back, and some sugar and sat himself down.

    Completing the report, he concluded that Oarai was lacking from social functions such as talent shows and school festivals. He felt that the Student Council was not taking look at these things because of Sensha-do practice.

    "They're still the Student Council. They need to be able to multitask, or at the very least hand all this over to someone competent." Rirko watched the window. The sun was beginning to rise and the shadow of the school became smaller. A small knock was heard at the door. 7:30 am, right on time.

    "Come in." Miho opened the door.

    "Good morning, Mr. Nagasawa." Miho bowed. "Thank you for yesterday."

    "No problem, Miho. Have a seat." As Miho sat down, he took a jug of water and some cups over to the table.

    "What's this for?"

    "In case someone needs it," Rirko replied. He wasn't going to just let his guest go thirsty, especially if that person is doing all the talking.

    "Well…how did it go?"

    "How did what go?"

    "What did we do on the weekend?"

    "Oh! It went great! Everyone was really excited!"

    "Congratulations once again."

    "Thank you!"

    "So…what's on your mind?"

    "Eh?"

    "Remember. It's your show. You can discuss whatever you wish here." Miho thought for a moment. On the battlefield, she was used to making her judgment calls during circumstances. However here in real life…

    "I'm not really sure. Maybe, if you choose a topic to get started?"

    Rirko remembered that this was only her second time seeing her but her first counseling session. To make her more comfortable around him, he would have to break the ice for her to give her a sense of what to do in future sessions.

    "Alright. I'll name the topic for today…I actually want to try something…if I may."

    "Sure?" Miho didn't know what to expect. "Is this a test."

    "Something like that. I want to see how you are with emotions. Let me ask you this: how do you feel?"

    Miho answered very quickly. "I'm fine."

    "Well, my definition of fine and your definition of fine could be different things. Could you elaborate?"

    "Well…fine means doing okay. Not too good or not too bad."

    "Is that so? So other than 'fine' how else do you feel? Remember, you can take your time on this." Rirko wanted Miho to be aware of her emotions. Regulating emotions is an important part of social aspects. If one knows how he or she is feeling, they can take steps in addressing any issues. Especially when they become angry or sad.

    Miho had to think about this. "I feel…uh…feel." Rirko could see she was struggling to identify her inner emotions.

    Rirko had to try another approach. "Happy? Sad? Or Angry?"

    Multiple choices. It would be normally easy to just pick one. But once again, non-verbal play a vital role in addressing one's disposition.

    "I feel…happy."

    "She said it. Let's look." Her mouth was shaking as if she was forcing herself to smile. Her eyebrows were drooping and she was shaking a little. "This is not happy."

    Getting her to talk was a trying task. Every patient has their quirks but getting into Miho's hidden world would not be easy.

    It was another few minutes of silence. The sun was rising now and they were fifteen minutes into the hour.

    "I haven't done this before."

    "Done what?"

    "Well." Miho couldn't really tell what happened after the match. If she did, he would come down on her. "I haven't looked at myself before."

    Alright, interesting… "Help me understand. What does looking at oneself mean?"

    "Everyone asks me all the time how I'm feeling. I usually get away with 'I'm fine.' But this is the first time anyone has ever pushed me to think about it."

    "So, you're telling me that no one has asked you how you really feel?"

    Miho nodded. When someone did ask, she always had the 'I'm fine' excuse with maybe a smile or a small laugh. It would be enough. Everyone always asked about her sister or mother, but not her. It was if she was invisible, buried under the achievements of her legendary sister and mother.

    Was it any wonder that Miho had trouble expressing herself? She wasn't encouraged, quite possibly not even allowed to. Her emotions would have to take a backseat to keep a strong face. To Rirko, that was heartbreaking. It's like asking someone not to breathe for 8+ years.

    "How in the hell did this kid survive this long without breaking? That being said. Are you happy?"

    "…I really don't know."

    "Hmm…you know it's okay to express yourself. Here or anywhere for that matter, right?"

    "Yes."

    "Emotions are a part of who we are, after all. We show emotions each day. People can hide their secrets within emotion. How they really feel? How are they really doing? People who talk to their friends may not even know there's a problem unless that person tells them. Their friends would never know.

    Miho heard this somewhere before.

    "If I feel angry, what do I do? If I am happy, what do I do? Feelings and emotions are not black and white. You can interpret it any way you wish. But do you care what other people think you are feeling? Or are you brave enough not to care?"

    A person could be sad on the inside and completely happy on the outside. A person can be horribly embarrassed on the inside and forgive on the outside. To a person who has not express themselves fully, or perhaps, not allowed to express themselves, would be a substantial stunt in their growth. And from what Rirko was seeing, Miho hadn't had an opportunity to express herself much.

    Miho quietly muttered. "I don't know. I don't understand any of this. I'm sorry."

    I'm sorry? What? "Miho? I'm not mad at you."

    "But I don't get what you're saying. Aren't you upset?"

    "No. I mean, you haven't done this before, right? Can I expect you to get this right away? Life is always a work in progress. Every day, we are learning new things about ourselves and one another. Just because you don't get it today, it doesn't mean you'll never get it. Don't feel that if you don't understand, you'll be punished or reprimanded. It's okay."

    Miho was silent once again. Her silence was what made talking about these things bearable. She didn't want to be in that room. She didn't want to talk about herself anymore. But she felt she needed to. If not for herself, for her friends. For her team. For everyone.

    "So…how do I know what I'm feeling?"

    Rirko crossed his arms. "Well, Miho. I don't have an answer for that. It is usually dependent on the person. You just 'feel.'"

    Miho was disheartened by the fact that she thought she knew her emotions. However, today's session proved anything but. The clock was ticking. Class started in another twenty minutes.

    "You did really good today, Miho!"

    She was surprised. "Good? I thought I messed up? I still don't get what you said."

    "Well, emotions and feelings are a complicated beast. At least you know, you have them. And they want to show themselves. Just a suggestion. Find yourself a place that's away from everything and do something physical."

    "Something physical?"

    "Yeah. Keeps your mind occupied but also you become attuned to your inner self. Feel those emotions again…and when they show up, take a mental note on how they felt and compare it to a similar emotion someone else shared. Body language, facial expressions. Associating something non-tangible like emotions will not be easy. But then again, you're able to pull off the impossible, after all."

    "…alright. I'll try it."

    "And we'll talk about it next week. However, if you feel the need to talk to me anytime, I'm here. Just shoot me an e-mail or something. Did this session help you somewhat?"

    This session only made Miho think of things she hadn't considered before. She didn't like it but she knew it was helping her in the long run. So…

    "Yes, it did help me."

    Rirko wanted to go more in-depth but the class was going to start soon. "Alright, you better get to class, I don't want you late."

    "Okay." Miho gathered her things once again and prepared to head out the door. "Will you be at practice, this afternoon?"

    "Only if the school doesn't drown me in work. No promises but I'll make it to every practice you got. I still want to help out."

    With this, Miho felt confident that everything would turn out alright. "Then I'll see you later."

    "See you later, Miho."

    The door closed and Rirko was alone once again. He had forgotten the coffee he had on the desk and of course, it was cold. He gave a deep sigh. Although they were talking, surely both were emotionally drained. It was some heavy stuff Miho was going through.

    'It's going to be a while before she trusts me enough to tell me everything. But at least, today, I got something. She was possibly neglected emotionally, she disconnected with her inner self. And she has no idea what the feelings mean. And then, there was the apology.'

    Usually, when people apologize when failing a task, it is when they know they are about to be punished. Does this mean that Miho was punished regularly for failures?

    'I know that Ami said Shiho expected nothing but excellence in her students. But if she's not throwing punching for anyone, that means she must have gone hard with Miho…and Maho as well. There's only so much a person can perform. And to expect the best…each day, it's maddening.'
    Sitting at his desk, he contemplated on the situation. He just met a girl that was in emotional distress and didn't understand why she was feeling that way.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Main Building (Hallway) - Morning

    There were some students walking around the school now. Miho walked alone, once again, towards her homeroom. For her first time, the session was intense. She felt as if she was in a dream, that everything felt so surreal. The questions that Rirko asked her, she did not like. It made her think about her own insecurities and fears. She didn't want to feel that way, and yet in a way, he had her face those fears. Was she angry at the man who was trying to help her? She could have said that. But she didn't.

    'I don't like doing this. But I have to. I have to. For everyone, I have to.'

    She didn't know that she was making a fist with one arm. Suddenly, she side punched one of the lockers hard. It leaves a little dent. Snapping out of her stupor, she looked at her hand.

    'Why did I do that?'

    She stared for a little while, dumbfounded, before continuing to walk. Miho didn't know at the time but at a distance, Yukari saw what happened.
    A/N: So, there are a couple of things that went real. It'll be the start of many revelations and secrets. A real counselling session may not be as smooth and usually it would take a few sessions to properly analyze a person's disposition. I'd like your thoughts on this. I hope I did the session a bit of justice. And I'm enjoying writing these stories. Thanks to all the people who write reviews, favorite and all that.
     
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Also, on an unrelated note, Happy New Year guys!
    A/N: Things get real here. I actually got depressed for a few days after writing this chapter. A fair warning, things get heavy here.

    On an unrelated note: if anyone knows how to write tank battles without making into a chronicle, please PM me. Someone who knows what they're talking about and has an imagination of tactics and strategies. I'm only focusing on the character development. Either I get someone to write the battles for me, or I'm streamlining it.

    That being said...yeah.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Afternoon

    The news of Oarai's victory over Glorianna reinvigorated the school. There were flyers and posters everywhere, singing the praises and victories of the Sensha-do team. All the while, they took it in stride. Not only did they had the opportunity to come out on top, they re-established their dominance in the Sensha-do world.

    With the Nationals only months away, the team looked for every practice opportunity that they could get. And it just so happened that Pravda was inviting them for a match. When Ami mentioned this to the team, they were more than thrilled.

    Rabbit team was very excited. "We get to beat Pravda again!" Azusa screamed.

    "Yeah, but we barely won last time," noted Ayumi.

    "How?" Yuki asked.

    Aya answered her matter-of-factly. "We were driven to a corner and given a choice to surrender, remember? If Katyusha wasn't such a big head, then we would have lost."

    But there were others that were less than enthusiastic.

    Caesar sighed. "Does this mean we have to go through one of Pravda's ego trips?"

    "If you only mean Katyusha, then yeah," Oryo replied.

    "Like John Wilkes Booth in the States?"

    "Or Napoleon Bonaparte from France, perhaps?" added Erwin.

    "Or like Emperor Nero of Rome?" Caesar said loudly.

    "THAT'S IT!"

    "Of course, that would be it." Rirko was listening in on some of the conversations. He turned to Ami. "What are they talking about anyway? Who is Katyusha?"

    Ami smiled. "Katyusha is Pravda's Sensha-do commander. A strategist in her own right, she specializes in ambushes."

    "So, a dirty player?"

    "Hey, there's no rule about ambushes, it's fair game. You want that honor bit, go to Glorianna."

    "Then I won't see your pretty face."

    Ami blushed bright red for a minute, before punching Rirko in the arm. "You're an idiot. Don't say that in front of the girls!"

    "Sorry." Rirko enjoyed teasing Ami. Perhaps, a bit too much.

    "At any rate, we were driven into a corner by her tactics but…"

    "But?" Now Rirko was genuinely interested in the outcome.​

    "Well, she first gave the team surrender conditions when she would have just gone in for the kill. Then, she left a weak point in her line thinking that Oarai would never attack."

    "But did."

    "And finally, she neglected to watch her flag tank, which itself got ambushed by Hippo Team."

    Rirko facepalms hard. Having an ego wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, when you underestimate your opponent's abilities and overestimate yours, it becomes fatal.

    "Mastery of a tank does not excuse her arrogance with life."

    That would be something Shiho would totally say. "Amen to that."

    Emika was jumping up and down. "We get to shoot at something, finally!"

    "Yeah. I suggest we ask Miho if we can do a suicide run," Kii volunteered.

    "That would be inadvisable…" Ichiho noted. "And stupid."

    "If Oarai needs to sacrifice a tank, we'll be offering to help."

    "Hell no," Emika jumped. "I wanna shoot at things first before blowing up."

    Saki was looking at the entire exchange. "Oh, how little you know…"

    "So, we'll be participating in the next match?" Maki asked.

    Risa nodded. "Yeah. So, we'll need to step up our game."

    "Maybe we can put some practice in?"

    "We could. When?"

    "Morning?"

    "How about the evening?"

    "I don't wanna go in the evening, I'm already tired from school."

    "And I don't wanna go in the morning, it's too early."

    "Um, girls?" Yumi interrupted. Both gave a look. "Early enough that Risa gets her sleep. But late enough that we can eat dinner afterward. How about that?"

    Maki and Risa were silent for a bit.

    Risa sighed. "Morning it is then."

    "Evening words for me," Maki replied. Yumi just sighed. At least they weren't fist fighting anymore.

    "WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP!" The voice of Momo of Turtle Team boomed across the field. The entirety was silent.

    "Thank you. You were saying, instructor?"

    Ami was preoccupied with Rirko's conversation that she didn't know she was back on. "Huh? Oh, right. We've also been invited to attend Pravda's annual Winter Festival. It will give the school an opportunity to experience another culture. Both ships will be docking in Toyama Bay, near Noto Island. It's also expected to have a squall there on the day of the match so bring your winter coats."

    Once again, the teams erupted in chatter. Momo was quick to silence them, this time.

    "The commander would like to say a few things before dismissal." She turned to Miho. She was patiently waiting for her turn to speak. It would be Rirko's first time hearing her address the team. What will her approach be?

    Miho cleared her throat. "Um, I first want to thank everyone for their hard work against Glorianna. It was a hard strategy to pull off but everyone did well." The team murmured in agreement.

    "Second, I'd like to announce the names of the new tank teams." Everyone oh'd and ah'd on the prospect of the new names.

    Before the match with Glorianna, the Student Council put down a box, pieces of paper and some pens near the shed. It was so people could make up a name for the new team.

    "Thank you, Turtle Team, for taking the initiative. And now, I'd like to announce to all of you the new team names."

    Everyone hushed as Miho read the paper.

    "The Char B1 will be now known as the "Tortoise" team. And the Hetzer…will be known as "Platypus". Everyone was silent for a few minutes. Then confused murmurs.

    Both tank captains of the new teams were shocked.

    "Tortoise?"

    "Platypus?"

    "What kind of names are those?"

    "They go with the animal theme," Anzu defended. "I like them."

    "Hmm…Do we have to go with the names."

    "You girls did say 'do whatever.' So, we did." Yuzu added.

    Both Kii and Risa sighed. They did say that but only because they were distracted with the practice.

    "Now, that's out of the way. I want every team to see to our new recruits. Remember, how you all started. They'll be lucky to have teams working with them." At once, the teams swelled with nostalgia and pride. How far they came was an accomplishment. "I also want you all to continue to get to know each other, this time with a different team. Again, get the know them. What excites them. What style do they use? I expect to hear a lot of great things from you all."

    "Remember, Pravda's match is in three weeks' time. Tank commanders, again, your input is appreciated." So basically, Miho volun-told the tank commanders to send in their ideas once again. Not that they had a problem with that.

    "Will that be all, Miho?" Momo asked. Miho nodded. "Then, in that case, you're all dismissed." As the teams were dismissed, each tank commander, including Platypus and Tortoise, made plans to have a field day. They were only talking and decided to speak more in-depth later in the week.

    As Turtle made their way back to the school, Miho made her way to Anglerfish.

    "That was a great speech, Miporin!"

    "Thanks, Saori."

    "I think that Platypus and Tortoise were good names. The new teams really appreciated the attention."

    "You think so?"

    "I saw Risa beaming, that must be a good sign," Hana noted. Miho was happy that she could satisfy the new recruits.

    "So, you're having the teams shuffled again?" asked Yukari. "To have them get to know them better?"

    Miho nodded. "The teams still need to familiarize themselves with the new recruits. I think I heard they'll be having a field day! What a great idea! Whose idea was that anyway?"

    "Risa…" Mako yawned loudly. "And Kii?"

    "Should we be having dinner then?" asked Hana. "I think I'll be evening soon."

    Mako, again, smacked her lips. "YESSS!"

    Miho couldn't help but smile. "Alright, great idea. I just need to see Miss Chono really quick."

    "Alright, but don't be too long!" Saori and the rest of Anglerfish went towards the main entrance. Miho went over to the sheds.

    When Miho arrived, Ami was laughing.

    "What's so funny, sensei?"

    Ami took a break from laughing. "Take a look." As she pointed, they both saw Rirko, with a funny look. One eyebrow was up and his mouth slightly open.

    "He's been like this ever since you named the teams."

    "Um…" Miho didn't know what to think about this.

    "Huh." Rirko snapped out and headed towards the two. He looked at Miho. "Well…this is a thing."

    "Are the team names weird for you?" Miho asked, with a giggle.

    "Well. To be honest. I kinda saw it coming with Anglerfish, Hippo, Anteater…It's still funny to me, actually."

    "It's the norm here, get used to it."

    "So, what did you want to see me for, Sensei?"

    "Well…I just wanted to give you some pointers, if you're open to suggestions."

    Miho became nervous. While she was open to suggestions, she hoped that it didn't change her style too much. Her nervousness didn't go unnoticed.

    "Miho, you're not on trial here. You can take it or leave it." Rirko wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and not make it awkward.

    Miho nodded and Ami began her report. "Well, your team cohesion has gotten a lot better. Plus, I see you could deal with our problem team there. I saw them talking to each other civilly."

    "Thank you, sensei."

    "Further, the tank teams have started to discuss alternative strategies for particular situations. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about." While Ami was speaking, Rirko looked at Miho's non-verbals. So far, when Ami praised her, she was relaxed. However, she immediately tensed up after hearing 'and that's what I wanted to talk to you about.'

    "Regarding strategy. There's no doubt that you're our star player. And you said it yourself, if something happened to you, you wanted to have the teams think on their feet."

    "Yes?"

    "That's why I suggest that you set up a chain of command contingency."

    This was a first. She understood what Ami meant. If something happened to Miho, someone had to take charge of the team in her absence.

    "I understand. You're right. If something does happen to me, I can't leave the team hanging."

    "Not only does it apply to off the field, but importantly, on the field as well. After you make your plan, clear it with the other commanders. Make sure they have some say in it."

    Miho nodded. She thought she was going to be grilled for some mistakes, but what Ami was saying made sense. She relaxed a little.

    "Your advice is great, thanks, Sensei!"

    Ami smiled. "I…um, I'm glad you think so."

    "Will that be all, sensei?"

    "Yes, thanks, Miho. Great job out there!"

    Miho looked cheerful. "Thank you! See you later Miss Chono, Mr. Nagasawa." As she walked towards her friends, Ami made a sigh of relief.

    "That was seriously a good idea," Ami said to Rirko. "But why didn't you say it and had me do it."

    He smiled a little. "To make you look good."

    "Why?"

    "Well, you are an experienced Sensha-do expert. And while the decision to take advice is ultimately up to Miho, she'll be more confident in her abilities knowing that she has someone like you for support."

    "But she was already confident."

    "Really? You sure? Why do you think she's been asking for the tank commander's strategies for each match?"

    Ami never thought of that. Usually, Miho would make the strategies and everyone would follow.

    "Because the thought of the team thinking 'on their feet' is uncharted territory. She never did this before. It's a trial run. If no one says anything, she'll start second-guessing herself and that may lead to…complications."

    While it was a good explanation, Ami felt that Rirko was bullshitting her.

    "All right, I'll believe you. But in the future, suggestions like this must be made by you. You have to look good too."

    "Your concern is greatly appreciated."

    "It's not a concern." Ami started to walk towards the school. "It's all about recognition."

    She was right. Rirko was bullshitting her. He didn't think that his opinion would even be considered because of lack of experience. That Miho would take it under advisement and forgotten the entire exchange. Having it come from a reputable source made the idea appealing. And it worked. So, what does it matter? Miho was gung-ho about the idea. She'll probably have a plan in place before the match.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Student Council's Office – Morning - Next Day

    It was the next day and Rirko decided that he had to discuss the issue where the council was only focusing on Sensha-do, and not on the other clubs. Of course, this stance was met with criticism.

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH?!" Sure enough, Momo didn't take the criticism too well. Anzu, Momo, and Yuzu met with Rirko, at his request, for a morning meeting.

    "Hey, I'm just saying it as it is. The fact is that the council has Sensha-do as a priority. I'm sorry to say but due to that your morale around the school is lacking."

    "Well, we've have been focusing a lot on Sensha-do, as of late," Yuzu admitted to it. "It's only logical that the rest of the school is lacking in resources…and maybe direction?"

    "Then is it our fault then?" Momo questioned the validity of the report.

    "A copy of the report has already been submitted to the headmistress and the other faculty. We'll be discussing the issue on Friday." Rirko said this with finality. That means it wasn't open to discussion.

    "Without consulting us? I don't know how they conduct business where you're from but here, the Student Council is the ultimate authority. When we say it's a problem, it is a problem!"

    "It's a problem," Anzu said, with a potato chip in her mouth.

    "Miss president?!"

    "Did you happen to read the agreement with MEXT and the school? When we had them sign that agreement before our match against University?"

    "Yeah…"

    "In that agreement, the headmistress has said with issues involving the student body. Morale is one such issue. Therefore, if one of her staff says it's a problem, then it's a problem."

    "But why?"

    "It seems this year both MEXT and the federation are experimenting with different leadership styles. Last year, it was all about the students. This year, it's a collaboration between student and teacher."

    Yuzu and Momo jaws dropped on the floor. It's not unheard of that the Student Council shares control of the school with the faculty. However, the council had total control of Oarai since time immemorial, effectively leaving the faculty as an advisory role.

    "You've got to be kidding me!"

    Rirko cleared his throat. "Look, I'm not here to make your life harder. You do that already to yourselves. I'm just addressing the issue and may have a solution."

    "Which is?"

    "It's simple. Just get a committee together to act in your stead. Get very, very competent people on this committee, they do the work, and you're Gucci."

    Yuzu looked at him funny. "…Gucci?"

    "Gu…cci. Good. You're good."

    "Oh."

    Rirko hoped that it was a solution. He really didn't want to be in there longer than he should have been. Especially with an angry Momo breathing down his neck.

    Momo breathed a heavy sigh. "I guess we don't have a choice. Especially, if morale in the school drops."

    "Then it's decided. The Student Council will look at the possibilities of making various committees to solve the morale issues. As well, they will also assist us in running the school." Anzu looked proud of herself…. even though she didn't really do anything.

    "I'll start getting a list of potential candidates." Yuzu bowed and walked over to the computers.

    "And I'll start getting an announcement going about the search for committee members." Momo gave Rirko a dirty look, then went. He turned to Anzu.

    "Aren't you going to do anything?"

    Anzu just smiled. "I decided."

    Arguing with her wouldn't do any good. Besides, it was out of his hands. He knew Anzu was the type of person that would do something if the situation called for it. If there was a problem, Momo or Yuzu would have made that known. Shrugging it off, he exited the office.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

    When he arrived back, Rirko decided to look at his e-mail before going on a break. He saw some adverts about random stuff he signed up for (he unsubscribed from those) but there were three e-mails that interested him. The first was from Headmistress Raidou:
    Subject: Presentation

    Hello Rirko,

    I've received word from Anzu that the Student Council will consider creating several sub-committees to run the school. Many thanks for your support on this initiative. It's hard to get the council to do that type of action ever since they started Sensha-do. The work at the school is equally important however we will settle for their cooperation. I have every intent on having them make good on their commitment.

    Further, I am looking forward to that Mental Health presentation you'll be giving this Friday. Remember that the start time is 9:00 am. Be sure to have everything prepared before then. Let me know of any resources you need.

    Raidou.    ​
    It reminded Rirko of more work. It seems that Raidou had a lot of expectations from his presentation. But it wasn't a problem. Just put together a power point presentation, a few fun facts, perhaps embed a video. It shouldn't take more than half a day if he was committed. Of course, he had other obligations but he could always stay back after practice.

    "Praise from Caesar." He smirked of the remark. It reminded him of another Caesar.

    The second one came from somewhere he wouldn't expect. It was an anonymous sender.

    Rirko wondered what it could be. "What the hell? I hope it's not spam." He opened the e-mail.
    Subject:

    I am watching.    ​
    This person was either a creeper or someone he talked to. But he couldn't tell where the e-mail was from. "This is beyond weird. Maybe, I can get one of the tech students look at this. I'm sure they'll be able to trace it back to its source."

    The third e-mail he knew it was from. It was from the Sensha-do Federation. One, Shiho Nishizumi:
    Subject: New Rules

    As we are nearing the Nationals, I would like to remind each one of you of the new rules that are in place.

    That all teams must have safety drills in place in case of emergencies. Any school that does not have safety drills in place will be disqualified from the competition. These drills must also be in a physical format and delivered to the Federation's head office before the drawing ceremony.

    Any team member that has been emotionally compromised will NOT be allowed to compete.     If a counselor lists a member as "emotionally compromised" and is found still participating in a tournament match, then the entire school is disqualified immediately.NO EXCEPTIONS.

    Questions or concerns, contact your local Sensha-do representative.

    Shiho Nishizumi, Chairperson    ​
    "Bitch." Rirko had no love for her. For what she did to Miho and the suffering, he wanted to avoid her as much as possible. It could have been a fear reaction. Or just unbridled hate.

    She had some words in her e-mail bolded. It was used for processing information faster. In this case, safety drills and emotionally compromised would be noticed. She had ordered for all counselors, and anyone involved in Sensha-do for that matter, into compliance. If there were any more rules that needed to be followed, then Ami would let the girls know. She was good with that.

    Without thinking, Rirko listed the e-mail as 'Spam.'
    Oarai Carrier Ship – Miho's Apartment – Evening

    It was a long day. Miho got home, exhausted by the day. The practice was especially hard when teaching Tortoise and Platypus new advanced techniques for the first time. It's as they say; the first time is always rough.

    She didn't end her day, though. Miho was researching on Pravda, just like she did with Glorianna. Possible strategies, tactics, and contingencies were swirling around her mind. Mid-way through the evening, she took a little break to reminisce about the first-time meeting with Pravda.

    Meeting Katyusha with Nonna for that match was interesting, to say the least. From the get-go, there was an air of arrogance and confidence that radiated with her. When Miho fell into the entrapment that Katyusha set up, she was sure she would rush in for the kill. However, Katyusha decided to give them the chance to surrender, grovel at her feet and beg for mercy.

    Like that was going to happen. Miho, at first, didn't really care much for the match. But when they heard about Oarai being closed if they lose, she decided to care for the sake of her friends. So, she used Katyusha's own arrogance against her. Gathering intel from the enemy while they were celebrating, breaking a hole through their flank and ambushing the flag tank to seal the victory. Maybe Miho would have felt bad if she had known that when Oarai was declared the victor, Katyusha cried. Of course, it was a match between two schools. Enemies on the field but when the match was over, so did their antagonism.

    Yesterday's enemies became today's friends. Katyusha accepted defeat graciously, rallied her on during the finals and helped her when she needed the most during the match with University. She could always count on Katyusha to be a support…if it means satisfying her ego a little.

    Her reminisces ended when her phone began to ring. Looking at the caller ID, she saw it was Yukari. Miho sighed and she knew that it was one of her friends checking up on her. She appreciated the fact that they were concerned but it was to a point where they were like hounding her to make sure everything is fine.

    Of course, they had every good reason to believe that everything was not fine.

    Answering the phone, Miho tried to put on her best cheerful voice. "Hello, Yukari. It's nice to hear from you."

    "Same to you, Miss Nishizumi. Am I interrupting you?"

    "No, I was actually taking a small break. Planning for Pravda's match."

    "Can't wait for that match?"

    "Well, it'll provide us with the much-needed experience if we're to win the Nationals again this year."

    "Yeah. That, and everyone is excited about the Winter Festival."

    Miho forgot about the Winter Festival. Perhaps, it was something to look forward to. "I'll be the first time seeing Pravda in different lights and colors. In opposed to the dark grey clouds of snow falling on the ground."

    "A festival is all about celebration after all."

    Miho remembered the conversation between the teachers about having a chain of command contingency. "Listen, Yukari. Can I ask you something?"

    There was a moment of silence. "Um, sure? What is it?"

    "Well. I just remembered something that happened this afternoon. Miss Chono suggested regarding our chain of command."

    "Right? What of it?"

    "If something were to happen to me. Would you take command of the team? Make sure that they follow the strategy perfectly?"

    This tidbit of news was so unexpected, Yukari felt like she got punched. "I…uh. Wow. That's a pretty big responsibility."

    "Yeah, it is. But she's right. If something does happen, someone needs to step up. And you've been studying my style, haven't you?"

    This was something that Yukari was doing in secret but didn't tell anyone. She wanted to help Miho in any way possible. "Yes. How did you know?"

    Miho smiled. "The way you asked questions about particular things. Situational and having a hunger for knowledge. It's a good thing."

    "Really?"

    "Yeah. And that's why I'm asking you to take this responsibility. Well, will you?"

    "… … …yes, I will."

    "Good!"

    "But Miss Nishizumi. Remember, this only covers if something happens to you. What about if the entire team is taken out?"

    "I'll have something figured out by the end of this week. In this case, it would be another team taking the reins."

    "I'm glad you're on top of things again today. Especially, what happened before…"

    That statement reminded both about the post-match with Glorianna. A panic attack that came out of nowhere. It was something unexpected for everyone.

    "That's why I have Anglerfish. Like you said, you have my back, right?"

    "R…Right. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that Hana's planning to have a flower arrangement class at the community center near the school. Will you be attending?"

    Miho wanted to focus on the match with Pravda. But she didn't want to turn down Yukari directly either. So, she took a page out of Rirko's book.

    "No promises, Yukari, but I'll try to make it if I can."

    "That's all I can ask you. Well, I'll let you go. Good night, Miss Nishizumi."

    "Good night, Yukari."

    She hung up. Miho stretched her arms and neck. She didn't want to remind herself of her emotional problems but she knew that she had the support of her friends. All she need do is to reach for it. And with this knowledge, she continued her work.

    However, very late in the night. Once again, Miho had trouble sleeping. It was when Yukari mentioned the "Winter Festival." Imagine. Lights, cameras, happy families exploring the different vendors, a family that would eat authentic Russian cuisine, a family that would be together as one without anyone missing out.

    A family…family…family…family…family…

    And here she was. Alone. Where was her family? Her real family? Her sister and mother away from her. Even though her mother was keeping her at arm's length right now, she remembered a time when she used to smile so gently. Her sister, the same memory.
    A sunlit day, both playing in the open court of home, her mother silently smiling at her children. Miho, very young, had a flower in her hand. She was hesitant to give it to her.

    "Well?" Maho encouraged her to go. "Go on. She'll like it."

    Miho uneasily approached her mother. Both Maho and Shiho gave a look and smiled.

    "Well, Miho, what do you have there?"

    "I found…I found this pretty flower. I wanted to give it to you." Shiho took the flower from her hand. She stared at it for a while.

    After a moment of silence, she finally said, "I don't like it." The look of dejection was painted upon Miho's face.

    "I LOVE IT!" She laughed and took Miho into her arms. Miho and Maho laughed as Shiho twirled around with her. This was something that Miho wanted to always remember. A happy memory.
    But that's what it was. Just a memory. Just a memory of the days gone past. What happened to the mother she knew back then? What of her sister? Where was the family she longed for? With these thoughts in her mind, her chest began to tighten, her heart began to race. Miho shot up from the covers, breaking into a sweat. Breathing heavily, it took a minute to register but when the feeling of rejection and despair engulfed her, she gave a deep wail. She sobbed uncontrollably, confronted by the fact that she was alone.

    No matter how much she stayed positive. No matter how much she claimed that her friends and her team were her new family, at the end of the day she was completely, utterly alone.

    After a good ten minutes, she laid down still with tears in her eyes. She felt exhausted but wanted to cry more. She needed to tell this to someone. Now? No, no one would be awake this hour. Tomorrow?

    Could she go to the emergency room at the hospital? Would someone be able to see her? She didn't know the hospital system to know for certain. Oarai's mental health team was only a few years old and she didn't know much. She didn't want to go alone.

    How about her friends? No. No, she couldn't involve them. They may resent her and then leave her. Who? What could she do?

    The thoughts coalesced into a single goal: she wanted someone else to know she was suffering. That she was in way over her head.

    She didn't go back to sleep and stayed up for the entire night.
    Oarai Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Morning

    The morning had broken and Rirko was still groggy. Shaking himself up awake and getting ready for the day, he poured some coffee, turned on the local news and make himself a breakfast. Something simple, cereal and toast. He turned on his cellphone, to see if someone wrote him something. Someone did. It was Miho.

    Subject:

    I need to see you now. Please!

    Rirko stared at the e-mail. Miho wrote this around 5:30 in the morning.

    "Son of a bitch. Damnit!" He turned off the television, rushed his breakfast, put on his shoes and coat and headed out the door.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Hallway – Morning

    When Rirko arrived, he was notified by the overnight guard that someone was there to see him and that she was waiting by his door. Knowing who it was, he briskly walked towards his office. Down the hallway, there was a figure sitting there, in the fetal position. She was trembling.

    "Damn it all." Rirko wasn't mad with Miho. He didn't blame her for having him get up early to see her again when it wasn't a session day. The reason why he was mad was that this entire emotional roller-coaster couldn't have happened to a nicer, hard-working person like Miho. He felt pity and a need to help her. He slowed his pace and walked towards her.

    He stopped at the door. It was Miho, all right. In the darkness of the hall, she looked at his eyes. He got down to her level. She wanted to say, 'good morning', and do what she usually does. But she even couldn't speak those words. It felt as if her throat was tied. Rirko was heartbroken and he felt he wanted to cry too.

    "Wow…you…you look like you've been through a lot." He didn't say this to lighten the mood. He said it to validate what Miho was feeling. That she felt horrible, but it was okay. Someone was here for her.

    When he validated her feelings, Miho couldn't hold her composure anymore. Completely broken, she hugged him and sobbed on his shoulder. All the while, Rirko rubbed her back gently as to comfort her, and said nothing.

    This scene played out for another five minutes before Rirko managed to calm Miho down.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

    It wasn't even the start of the day and both were emotionally drained. On one hand, Miho's rough night was filled with frustration and sorrow. On the other hand, Rirko had to deal with a young girl and console her.

    Miho was silent while Rirko grabbed a jug of water and some plastic cups. Setting it down on the table between them, Miho this time accepted his offer and poured out a cup.

    "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." Miho was embarrassed. No one had ever seen her in that state before. "It was just too much."

    "Well, I'm glad you got that out of your system. Maybe you can tell me, what's going on?"

    Before, Miho was reserved about her feelings and emotions. However, this recent episode made her realize that things would get worse before it got better. And it would get even worse if she didn't have help.

    "Last night. I thought about the winter festival."

    "Hmm."

    "Then about all the lights. All the fun things. Everyone happy and enjoying themselves. Everyone with…their…" She trailed off.

    "Yes? With what?" He knew he couldn't rush her but he wanted to know.

    Miho wanted Rirko to take the hint. She tried to say the word 'family.' But every time she thought of that word, it made her want to cry. She was already trying to hold it in.

    "F…Fa…Fam…"

    Rirko then understood what she meant. "Families?"

    She nodded her head. He had said that word for her.

    'So, is this about her family not being here?' Rirko wanted to make sure that the questions he asked were the right ones. "And how do you feel about your family?"

    "… … I miss them."

    "You miss them, huh. Must be hard to be separated from them."

    "Yeah. We used to be close. But that's over now."

    Now things were taking a turn. "What do you mean by that? How close were you?"

    Miho had trouble finding the right words. It was difficult. "When I was very small, my sister and my mother used to smile all the time. That changed, when my father left. I didn't know where he went. Mother told me that we wouldn't be seeing him anymore."

    So, he either died or walked away from that life. "And is that when your mother changed?"

    Miho shook her head. "Mother always wanted us to do well in Sensha-do. She was a Sensha-do master and wanted her daughters to be the same. But she always put us first."

    "So…do you know what changed her?"

    "No…all I know that from then on, she never smiled again. And she made us focus on Sensha-do. Never on anything else."

    Shiho had relationship issues and then took it out on her kids? "And your father?" Miho shook her head again.

    Rirko sighed. The father was no part of her life anymore. That, or he didn't want anything to do with them. "So, going back to last night, if I may. What happened next?"

    Miho squeezed her chest. "I started to have another panic attack. Everything around me was closing in." Her eyes started to swell up with tears.

    "How did you feel about that?"

    "Trapped and alone." Those were some hardcore feelings. The feeling was akin to being buried alive. Rirko wanted to stop it there but he had to know what caused it. "And do you know the reason this happened?"

    Miho was silent at this question. She didn't want to talk about the happy memory. The thing that was supposed to make her happy, now made her sad.

    "Miho?" Rirko shifted his chair and leaned towards her. "I can see that you're having a tough time on this. It's not easy coming out with how you really feel."

    She nodded.

    "I can see sadness and pain. But, what I see most of all is a loss. You've lost a lot of things that were important to you, right? To be able to live without the thing you cherish the most; that's hard for a lot of people."

    "Yes."

    "But it can be overcome. I want to help you, I really do. I want you to be happy, to be able to do the things that you love and with the people you care about."

    To tell him about the memory, and the pain that was associated with it. She tried to formulate her feelings into words. But there was just too much pain and sadness to go through. Miho felt that she let him down; a person who was trying to help.

    "I…I…"

    Rirko knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his questioning. It was over…for now. No one with a heart, would even pressure her to answer now. The only thing he could do was console her.

    "Listen, Miho. Like I said, it's not easy talking about your pain and struggles. But know that you have people who will watch out for you. Who will talk and listen to you. And if you think that they will turn on you and hate you, then you are wrong. If they felt that way, then they would have left a long time ago."

    The fear of rejection and being alone again. That's why Miho didn't want to burden her friends with her pain.

    "You can choose who to let into your life. If you let them, they will be there for you. Everything will be fine. Just have faith."

    "… faith?"

    "Faith that everything will turn out fine. Faith that your friends, your true friends, will never leave your side. Faith that after all of this, your family will smile again."

    Miho couldn't say anything to him. Without an answer to what was happening and the fear of the attack happening again, at any time. Defeated and tired, she sat there and cried out of frustration.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Nurse's Office - Morning

    It was already 8:10 in the morning. Rirko escorted Miho to the nurse's office. After explaining the situation to her, without revealing too much, he started to take his leave.

    Miho was already in a bed and spoke weakly. "Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Yes, Miho."

    "Thank you so much for listening to me. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

    "Know that you'll always have people. People who you can trust. People who will love you for who you are. Things change, people change. But it's not a certainty, nor does it last forever."

    "She needs some rest," the nurse interrupted. "She looks exhausted."

    "Yeah." As he left her, Miho fell asleep.

    Rirko knew that she wouldn't be attending practice. Or, would she? He wouldn't be surprised if he saw her on the practice field that afternoon. As he headed back towards his office, this morning's events unnerved him.

    'The very fact that Miho had these feelings within her. And she never let them out. Now they are affecting her to the very core and interfering with her aspect of life. If she continues like this, then I will have to suspend her. For the sake of her emotional well-being. You've put me in a difficult position, Miho.'

    As he made his way to his office, he ran into Anglerfish. They were running and looked distraught.

    "Nurse's office."

    They didn't have to say anything. He knew that they were looking for Miho. They nodded and ran towards the nurse's office. It's nice to have friends.
    A/N A few things of note:

    - The proper protocol, if dealing with high levels of anxiety and depression and you feel that talking with someone isn't going to work, would be to head over to emergency department right away. Call 911, if you need to. Just get help. Miho couldn't go to emergency because she didn't want to go alone and she had doubts if they could help her or not. An immediate answer wasn't available so she had to wait until morning to see someone who could help.

    -If dealing with someone who's under a panic attack, comfort and never confront. They need support, reassurance that everything is okay. Don't try to make sense on 'why' it is happening. It is happening and something needs to be done. Words are powerful tools and sometimes we take it for granted. To have someone say 'everything is fine' can mean a lot to someone.

    - Any professional counselor or someone with a mental health background may have a problem with the session. I don't know, it just feels...weird to me. I probably broke some Codes of Ethics or protocols or something. Let me know, thanks.

    I'm writing this because I've been there. I can say I've been there and it sucks. It's been over a year since I've started having anxiety but I had help from my family and mental health team. So, if you are there suffering know one thing: you are NOT alone.

    Your reviews, comments and favorites are touching and appreciated. Thank you.
     
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    • A Family Affair
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    • Uploader's Note: I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: I've tried researching about disclosure laws in Japan but I've found little. So, I can't be 100% accurate if this is a thing or not. Hopefully it is. I've actually gotten the information from a report. Also, Japan having blind faith in their doctors is a bit...much. Once again, I'm not completely sure but I've done my best to be as accurate as possible.

    Update: Was notified that the main Izusu residence is on the main land in Oarai city, and not on the carrier ship. I changed the setting to Hana's residence from the main residence.

    Also, Shiho was with one of her maids and not Yuri. However both are family jeads so at one point they might have met each other.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office - Morning

    Rirko was faced with a difficult dilemma. With the emotional aspect, the part he excelled in, out of the way, it had moved into a moral problem. He was obviously facing a high-schooler suffering from anxiety and possibly depression. Normal protocol back home would mean he would have to contact the parents and inform them of developments since the age of consent is 18.

    However, Japan operated differently…much differently. In Japanese culture, the medical physician had no obligation to let the family know about the situation, so long as the patient knew. In this case, Miho knew she was going through emotional distress that had begun to affect her physically. Letting her family know would undoubtedly have Maho go Sister Bear and go on a rampage to protect Miho. He wasn't worried about Shiho. Most likely, she wouldn't care about her. This conclusion was a result of previous discussions with Ami and Miho herself.

    Rirko knew that precautions had to be taken place. He prepared "Release of Disclosure Information" forms for both Maho and Shiho and planned to have Miho decide what to do with those. Shiho and Maho couldn't demand to see the medical information because of the fact Miho saw a psychiatrist by herself. Therefore, the doctor would ultimately be the one to decide if to share the diagnosis with the family would be best.

    With advice from the nurse, he contacted the hospital's mental health unit and requested for someone to set up an appointment for Miho using the school as a middleman. This was to see if they could do something about the medication she was taking, as obviously that wasn't working. She had every right to say no. It would be up to her if she would want another medical examination done.

    He talked to the nurse during the morning break. Apparently, Anglerfish was heard running towards the office and the nurse stopped them at the entrance. They wanted to see how Miho was doing who, at the time, was sleeping. She told the group to return to homeroom and let her rest. He didn't hear anything after that.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Afternoon

    Surprise was met by all teams in the afternoon. Anglerfish and Miho were nowhere to be found. As Rirko walked over to the team, he overheard chatter.

    "It's not like Miho to miss practice."

    "Is she okay?"

    "I hope so. Anglerfish isn't here either."

    "Geez, this is so weird."

    Rirko found Ami, leaning on one side of the shed.

    "Ami?"

    "Rirko." He had a serious look on her face. "Take a look at this e-mail I got."

    Subject: Break

    Me and Anglerfish won't be attending practice today. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Please tell everyone to continue practice those advance tactics. Also, help Tortoise and Platypus with training. I'm sorry. ~Miho.

    So, Miho didn't show up after all. And not only that, Anglerfish was also MIA. They were probably chewing Miho a new one regarding the morning.

    "Just what happened to those girls?" Ami pondered this loudly. Then she turned to Rirko. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"

    Rirko looked around to see if anyone was listening. Luckily, everyone was already in their tanks and doing some maneuvers.

    "What I'm about to say is for your ears only. You breathe any of this and I'll deny it."

    Ami was surprised. "Alright…what happened."

    "Miho saw me this morning. She was an emotional wreck."

    "… f*** me."

    "She was totally broken. I had a heart to heart with her regarding her issues."

    "Which was?" Rirko didn't say anything. He just looked at her. "Right, confidential. Sorry."

    "Yeah. She doesn't want anyone to know. Especially, not the team. I want you to know so that we're not keeping secrets from each other."

    Ami was touched that Rirko trusted her. "Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate it."

    "Don't mention it. Literally."

    The two nodded and headed over to the control tower to oversee practice. Mallard and Turtle were mentoring Platypus and Tortoise respectively. They got a lot better regarding control and shooting accuracy. The next step was to work on speed.

    While everyone acted as it was 'business as usual', there were some teams that were unnerved by the sudden absence of both their leader and Anglerfish team. They had always been a lynchpin in Oarai's Sensha-do. It's what led them to victory, after all. While in their individual tanks running drills, some of the teams questioned the reasoning behind this.
    Risa was unusually quiet while giving the odd order.

    "What's up, Risa?" Maki asked.

    "Well…"

    Yumi popped up. "Is it about Nishizumi-Sempai?"

    "…yeah."

    "I haven't been with this team long, so I wouldn't know how important she is to this team."

    "I don't know." Risa had seen firsthand her positivity and spirit and how it was important to everyone. "It just feels so weird not to have that go-get-'em attitude yelling in your ear."

    Maki kind of understood. "Like an important piece missing?"

    "It's not like she quit, though." Yumi was trying to be positive. "She'll be back tomorrow, as well as the Anglerfish Team."

    "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING!" Sodoko was on the other end of the radio. "I DIDN'T SAY WE WERE DONE!" The rest of Platypus shook off the shock and continued the practice.
    "Geez, why are they so unfocused?" Sodoko scratched her head.

    "Probably worried the same way we are." Pazomi made the small comment.

    "What's that supposed to mean?"

    "Don't play stupid," Gomoyo wanted in the conversation. "You know everyone is worried about Miho."

    "I…I know that." Reizei, what the hell is going on?
    Tortoise Team was practicing run and gun tactics. They were so focused on leaving a mark on the team, they didn't consider Miho or Anglerfish team.

    Anteater and Duck team were having their own conversation during a break.

    Nekonya sipped on a juice box. "The whole of Anglerfish is AFK."

    "We can't win the guild battle without them," added Momoga.

    Piyotan conferred. "She's our MVP. Not that…um…everyone is not an MVP in their own way."

    "We get it," Nozomi agreed with Piyotan's comment. "Anglerfish is usually the first one in and the last one out. It's very rare for them to be benched."

    "Not even benched, not even here," Noriko noted that their absence was being felt by everyone. If Anglerfish had hoped to continue like nothing had happened, they were in for a press conference when they got back.
    Even Hippo and Rabbit gossiped about the absence.

    Taking their own break, Caesar held up a water bottle high up as if she was giving a toast. "Vae Victae," she sadly announced.

    "Vae? Wha-?" Azusa was genuinely confused. "What's that mean?"

    "It means 'woe to the vanquished.' The singular form for females." Saemonza explained. She had hope that the young girls got the reference.

    Karina rebuked them. "But she's not gone yet! So, how is she vanquished?"

    "Usually, when a person of authority leaves, it's due to scandal."

    "But Miho wouldn't do anything that stupid!"

    "You don't know that," added Yuki. "She may have been leading a double life without anyone noticing.

    "Or, maybe she sold us out to a rival team," Aya replied.

    "WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP!?" Erwin was upset that her teammates would speak this way. "She hasn't betrayed us! She's not leading a double life! And she's not doing anything stupid that will kick her off the team. So just shut it!"

    Everyone was silent by the sudden outburst. Soon, everyone started to feel guilty about bashing on their friends.

    Caesar admitted that she let her imagination run wild. So, did everyone. "I'm sorry Erwin. I guess we really want to know what happened."

    "And we'll know. If Miho decides to share."
    Some of the radios were on so Ami and Rirko could listen in.

    "The girls are asking about Miho. Not that I'm surprised. She's always here."

    "I agree. This will be a topic of discussion at the end of the day. They'll be turning to you for answers."

    "So, what do I say?"
    "Just say that she and Anglerfish are dealing with issues that are beyond their control. Reassure them that they will be hopefully there tomorrow but you can't be too sure."

    "Why can't I just say you'll see them tomorrow?"

    "Then you're setting up an expectation. What happens if they don't show? You're screwed."

    "Yeah, yeah. You're right." Ami sighed. This was obviously affecting her, as with the rest of the team.

    "It's tough. To deal with issues like that."

    "I know. But it's good to get those issues out of the way now so they don't affect you later."

    A moment of silence. Then Ami asked the question.

    "Will you be suspending her?"

    Rirko was silent. He couldn't give an answer to a hard-core question. "I don't know. But worse comes to worse, then I'll have to. It'll be for her own good."

    When practice was over, Turtle team assembled everyone in front of the sheds. Rirko and Ami let Turtle Team know of their intent. They had the floor. Everyone held with bated breath.

    Ami started off. "As you well know, we're one team short. And one team commander short."

    Murmurs filled the air. Some of concern, others with confusion.

    "Miho already got back to me. She said she'll be back tomorrow. That may change."

    "What do you mean by that?" Momo asked. Everyone else wanted to know as well.

    "We do not know the circumstances of her disappearance, nor of Anglerfish. All you need to know is that it is important that we do everything we can to support our friends. We all owe Miho that."

    Ami was right. Miho and Anglerfish did so much for the school. Now they needed their help and the team was only happy to oblige.

    "We'll support our friends through and through. That's what a team does!" Noriko yelled. Everyone agreed. As the team was dismissed, Rirko thought about the girls.

    'Hope you girls were able to use the day to your advantage. Get everything straightened out. So, the team can be whole again.'
    Oarai Carrier Ship – Hana's Residence – Evening.

    When the girls could see Miho, as she was exiting the nurse's office for afternoon classes, they surrounded her in silence. No one dared to say a thing. Miho broke the silence…with her tears.

    She was guilty. Anglerfish offered their support and she didn't take it. But they understood. The type of person Miho is. She was willing to suffer for her friends that love her. She had to know, however, that Anglerfish was more than her friends. They would stick by her, whether she liked it or not.

    After a touching group hug, they attended their classes. During which Miho wrote to Miss Chono about not showing up to practice. The group decided to head over to Hana's house, to talk things over. Miho was still exhausted and Anglerfish wanted to take care of Miho; that was a priority.

    Under the advisement of the school nurse, Miho set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for tomorrow morning. This psychiatrist would be assigned to her case and make sure that the medicine she was taking was working. The reason why she could get a psychiatrist so quick was that it was a school request, and the hospital took those requests seriously.

    At the time, Yuri Isuzu, the head of the Isuzu family decided to visit her daughter on the carrier ship. Before she had the intention of visiting Hana on the ship, but was caught up with many household responsibilities.
    Hana's temporary departure and reconciliation had made Yuri realize something. She was growing as an adult. Soon, the young girl she came to care for would be gone. She decided to visit her daughter, and create new fond memories, while she still could. Hana had held the same sentiment, but now the state of her friend took precedence.

    When Yuri greeted Anglerfish, she automatically sensed something was seriously wrong. Meeting the team at the main entrance, she saw Miho, who was looking a lot better from before but exhausted. As they walked by, Yuri stopped her daughter.

    "Hana, dear. Is Miho alright?"

    Hana couldn't let her mother know about Miho fragile emotional state. Her concern would only bring unnecessary drama. "Miho is just exhausted. Planning for both matches back-to-back has taken its toll on her. We're hoping that the home will be a relaxing place for her."

    "I…see…" Call it a mother's intuition but she half-heartily accepted Hana's explanation. As Hana left with the rest of the group, she confided with Shinzaburou, the family butler.

    "See to our guests and make sure that they are provided for. But let me know if you hear anything out of the ordinary."

    "Yes, my lady." As Shinzaburou bowed, Yuri couldn't help but feel pity. When she saw Miho before, she was a bright and strong girl. Now she appeared to be burdened with many things and she didn't do a good job of hiding it. Shinzaburou provided refreshments for the guests. As per his lady's instructions, he noticed that everyone was silent. The girls wanted him out of the room, for privacy.

    "Thank you Shinzaburou. Please, leave us." Shinzaburou quickly left as he came. The girls then spoke about the situation.

    Saori was the one who started. "Miporin, when you didn't show up this morning and you weren't answering your phone, we were very concerned about you." There was a hint of sadness, but also frustration that her friend didn't seek them out even when she promised too. "We checked your home, tried calling you and even called out on the streets. But you didn't answer."

    Miho was silent and listened. She couldn't think of any excuses.

    "The last place we checked was the school," Yukari added. "If you weren't there, then I don't…. I don't even want to think about what would have happened. But you were, and here we are."

    This was an intervention. The hope that she would hear the sides of all her friends and finally let them in on what was happening to her.

    Mako, surprisingly, was the one to ask the very important question: "Miho, how can we help you if you don't allow us too?"

    Miho's heart broke. She didn't do anything wrong, but her actions showed that she had no confidence in her friends help.

    All was silent in that room. You could cut the tension in the air. The flowers in Hana's room swayed back and forth from the open window's breeze.

    Miho became teary-eyed. No more excuses. No more deceptions. It had to be the truth.

    "… … I. I…d-don't…P-Please…" This broken speech unnerved the girls even more. This was a situation that they had previously tried to avoid. Whenever Miho was saddened by something, they always changed the subject. Not this time. They were confronting it head-on.

    Hana, as a mother-like figure, took control. "What Miho? Please tell us."

    Miho sighed and said in a very quiet voice. "I…d-don't…want you to leave…me."

    Anglerfish was speechless. Was this the very thing that Miho feared? That her friends would abandon her at a moment's notice? Did she really believe them to be that heartless?

    "I d-don't… want… t-to be alone…, again…So, p-please…" She said these words while trying to hold back the tears. But it did little good. The tears streamed upon cheeks. She was a strong girl, but the pain of sadness was overwhelming.

    The other girls, stunned by this revelation, didn't know what to say to comfort her at the time.

    Some people would call this over the top drama. But not Miho. Everything that she did was genuine. So, for her to express her fears and anxieties in this way was all too real. The girls began to understand why she didn't go to them. If she did, she thought they would resent her. She thought they would hate her for being a burden. And then, she would be cast aside, abandoned…and alone, once again. Miho didn't want to go back to who she was back then. She couldn't. She wouldn't survive without them.

    Hana put her hand on her back and rubbed it gently. So, did Saori. Yukari and Mako came close and held her hand.

    "We will never leave you." Hana declared.

    "Miporin, you can count on us. Please let us help."

    "Miss Nishizumi, no one would ever leave you."

    Mako couldn't say anything. She didn't know what proper words of comfort would help her.

    Comforted by these actions and words, Miho silently accepted them in her heart.

    A plan of action was to be put in place. Miho had problems sleeping alone. So, until the nightmares stopped, each of her friends would take a shift and sleep over. She would disclose every single incident that would happen. Hana felt that until Miho could sleep without problems that it would be best for her to stay at her place. Miho didn't want to be a burden to Yuri, however, Hana insisted that she bring up the issue with her mother. Of course, none of the girls didn't want to involve any adults in fear that she would be reported, then suspended from Sensha-do. It would be their secret.

    However, as they were planning this, Shinzaburou heard the entire commotion. He wanted to barge in and ask if everything was alright. But he stayed his hand for the time being. His lady instructed him to let her know if anything happened and he intended to.

    Yuri anxiously waited for Shinzaburou's report. When he arrived back, she waited with bated breath. Just what was going on with Miho? Be it from her to poke her head into someone else's business however one of her daughter's friends is distressed and she wanted to know why.

    "Shinzaburou, did you find out anything?"

    "My lady." He gave a deep bow. "It seems that Miss Nishizumi is in distress."

    So, she was right. There was something wrong. "Please explain."

    "Well. There was talk with her friends and Miss Hana about her not being forthcoming with her situation."

    "And what situation would that be?"

    "She has been getting nightmares. And it has been affecting her physically."

    "I see…anything else?"

    Shinzaburou was silent for a second. "Well…I did hear Miss Nishizumi say that she didn't want to be alone…followed with crying."

    Yuri gasped at this. She knew that the situation was bad, but not this bad. She would be butting into private affairs. But then she knew that if Miho was affected, then her daughter would be affected as well. She needed to address the issue, not for Miho's sake, but for her daughter.

    "Get Shiho Nishizumi on the phone." Shinzaurou bowed and left. 'Hana. Forgive me.'
    Kuromorimine Girl's High School – Headmistress' Office – Evening

    Shiho was working late. The Nationals were coming up and some of the teams hadn't sent out their mandatory safety drill plans. Even after she sent out an e-mail about the issue, it still irked her that some wouldn't take safety that seriously.

    'Maybe I won't be nice. I'll just call those who didn't send in a plan and threaten disqualification. It's in the Federation's rights.' She contemplated on this before she received a call on the school phone.

    "Yes?"

    A receptionist, who was about to leave for the night, answered, "Headmistress? A phone call from Oarai is coming in."

    "Who?" Surely, it wouldn't be Miho.

    "Miss Isuzu, ma'am."

    Shiho was surprised. She hadn't heard from her since the end of the finals. Why would she be calling now? "Fine, patch her through."

    "Very good, ma'am." The phone clicked for a moment, and Yuri's voice was heard.

    "Shiho?"

    "Yes, Yuri. It has been a while."

    "It has."

    "I hope that this isn't a social call. You know how busy I am with both the school and the Nationals."

    "I am very aware." Yuri was silent for a moment. This was an uncomfortable topic, even for her.

    "Well?" Shiho was getting impatient. "Come now, woman. Hang the phone up so I can work."

    "The reason for my call is because I came upon some information regarding your daughter."

    Shiho knew that she wasn't referring to Maho. Miho? Why? "And who, exactly, is this source?"

    "It is my daughter. One of her friends."

    At least it wasn't an anonymous source. Those ones reeked of scandal. "What is this information?"

    Yuri drew breath. Although she knew she was prying into private affairs and her daughter's trust being compromised, it had to be done.

    "Apparently, Miho has been undergoing emotional distress."

    "Emotional distress?" A Nishizumi buckling under the pressure of Sensha-do? How distasteful. "How so?"

    "She has been getting nightmares and her sleep has been affecting her performance."

    "Hmm…and why should this concern me?"

    Yuri was silent for a moment. "I just wanted you to know."

    "Miho is nothing but a disgrace to the Nishizumi clan, with her 'style.' Call me when you have something important." And with this, she hung up the phone. Under the new rules, she would have suspended Oarai from the Nationals with this. However.

    'Oarai is the reigning champion. If we do not face them, we cannot erase the disgrace of loss by their hands.' She pondered on this some more. If Oarai couldn't compete, they wouldn't be able to face them. If they did and the issue was not resolved, Miho wouldn't be at her best. And to truly redeem Kuromorimine, they must face them with everything they had, and vice versa. And what was the counselor assigned doing? If Miho was emotionally compromised, he should have suspended her on the spot.

    She picked up her cell phone. "Maho. There's been a development in Oarai…"
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Isuzu Residence – Evening

    Yuri hung up the phone. Shinzaburou awaited news.

    "Well, my lady?"

    Yuri sighed. "She knows, now. She can act she doesn't care but she does. Why else would she led me on like that?" She stared at the window, overlooking the garden. "I wonder what will happen?"

    "Won't Miss Hana be angry?"

    "This is for her sake. If Miho is not happy, then Hana is not happy. And that is something I cannot allow."
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Evening

    Rirko got home, exhausted. A few days before the presentation. All he needed to do was add a bit more graphics, review the content, and call it a day. Raidou would have to deal with what he had. As he slumped on his couch, he reflected on what happened during that day.

    "I wondered how Miho is doing. I hope she's doing okay." At once, his cellphone began to ring. As he looked at the number, he noticed it was long distance.

    "Is this another Microsoft-support scam? Or anything else crappy? I hope not." Rirko answered the phone. "Yeah?"

    There was some heavy breathing on the other end. Rirko waited for an answer. When he thought he wouldn't get one, he was about to hang up. A female voice on the other line spoke.

    "What… happened?" The female voice sounded unhappy. Not only that, there was some rattling.

    "Huh?"

    "I recall telling you that I would speak to you again if there were any problems with my sister."

    "My sis" - Then he recalled the conversation. Back at Glorianna, with Maho.

    "Oh…OH." Jesus Christ, how did this crazy bitch get my number?!

    "I want an explanation from you." Now, this was a completely different Maho. Once the stoic tone was now replaced with unrelenting rage and concern. Exactly how a mother would feel.

    "Okay. One: rude. Two: How do you know this? And Three: How did you get my number?!"

    "I heard it from mother. As the chair of the Sensha-do Federation, she could easily pull up your personal information. Seeing that you were assigned to Oarai by MEXT and the Federation."

    Rirko was surprised that Shiho was the chairperson of the Federation. So, of course, she would have knowledge of all personal information related to Sensha-do.

    "It doesn't answer my question on how you heard about this…"

    "My patience has run its course! Tell me, what's going on. NOW!" Her sudden outburst caused Rirko to hold the phone away from his ear. He silently considered his options.

    'Someone snitched. But I'll worry about that later. She's pissed. I don't blame her. That's her sister we're talking about. But having a yelling match will not get either of us, anywhere.'

    Rirko picked up the phone. "Obviously you're pissed off. However, I can't talk to someone who has it out to murder me. So, I'll tell you what. Talk to me, when you're yourself!" At this, he hung up the phone. "She's probably freaking out by now. But I need her to listen and I can't have her yelling in my f*****g ear."

    People who are at high states of crisis cannot hear anything. If attempted, all they hear is a jumbled mess. Maho's emotions about her sister were high right now. If Rirko tried to explain anything, she wouldn't be able to make rational decisions and listen. Her cooperation was needed. He needed to be sure that he'll be speaking with someone who had their head on straight.

    It was strange. Usually, a person who was rage-filled would have left a bunch of voicemail messages about being calm, swearing, begging, crying and the such. Rirko had not experienced this personally but he heard it from his colleagues. The horror stories of trying to handle someone who was pissed off at the world and trying to talk to that worker. A calm mind was needed to explore possibilities.

    But he didn't get any voicemail. Rirko waited for half-an-hour, an hour, maybe two? He fixed up his dinner, watched a little television, finished up his presentation and changed into some evening wear. It was 10:00 in the evening and he was ready to go to bed.

    Then, his phone rang. It was Maho.

    'Into the fray, once again.' He was prepared to deal with Sister Bear Maho who was trying to take care of Miho. "Yeah."

    The voice on the other end sighed. "I need to speak with you. Please."

    "Well, that's better. Now I can speak with you. What's going on?"

    "My mother received word from one of her acquaintances that Miho is under emotional distress. Is this true?"

    Rirko sighed. The jig was up. There was no point in keeping the deception. Even if he did, Maho would have disputed it and would be angry again. "Yes. Your sister has been dealing with issues."

    "What kind of issues?"

    "Please take the hint." The conversation she had with Miho then started to make sense. There was a gasp, followed by a momentary silence. "Why were we not informed about this?"

    "Well. First, Japan has a culture in which the doctor doesn't have to inform the family, so long as the patient was informed. Miho was told that she had anxiety attacks and needed to handle her emotional state. Secondly, Miho herself went to the on-call psychiatrist…on her own...so that means anything regarding this case she can keep confidential."

    Maho wasn't familiar with disclosure laws. Being a big thing in the West, Japan had full confidence in their doctors to make the right moral calls.

    "Fine. You were legally in a bind. But I want to help Miho and the only way to do that is for you to tell me what she's been talking about."

    "No can do. Patient confidentiality."

    "Patient confidentiality, she's my sister!" Maho's voice was rising. She was being denied information that could potentially help Miho.

    "Look, I would love to tell you what's been happening, I really would. But counselors have an obligation to their patients about keeping their information secret during these sessions. Especially from family. Besides, you told me stuff and I told mother dearest, how would you feel?" He didn't mention about the condition of potential danger to self or others. That would have been besides the point at the time.

    Maho couldn't make any rebuttals. "I see your point."

    Rirko was sympathetic about Maho's position. "But I can do this. I have in my office an "Information to Disclosure" form. Miho signs that, and we're good. I'll tell you everything pertinent. The alternative is that you speak to Miho yourself."

    Maho had to consider her options now. Miho to share her secrets or have her sign the form. Either way, she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

    "My sister and I were close once."

    "Yes?" Rirko took a seat and applied some empathetic listening.

    "We didn't hide anything from each other. We were inseparable."

    "You care about her. That's saying a lot. Perhaps, more than her actual mother."

    "Mother cared for us once. Then changed when Father left. She wasn't the same after that."

    Rirko listened but didn't pry. For one, this was a sensitive topic for the sisters and two he didn't have the right to ask personal information from Maho, even if it would help Miho in the long run.

    "Miho had such a kind, passionate, caring heart. Still does. She was focused on Sensha-do and always did her best. There were times she wanted to quit, but then she spoke to me. That's when she truly confided in me."

    There was a bond once. A bond that appeared broken when separated. But the bond had always remained between them. No matter the distance or the pain, it would never sever.

    "Why are you telling me all this?"

    "I need you to continue to keep an eye on Miho in my stead. My words can only do so much. I…I don't know what is happening to her. My sister is suffering, please help her."

    Rirko was effectively guilt-tripped. Maho, the stoic elder sister of the Nishizumi clan, was now begging for his help.

    "I will. I was going to do that anyway. If you can convenience your sister to have you privy to her secrets, perhaps you may help her as well."

    "… … …I'll try."

    "That's all I ask. And, Miss Nishizumi?"

    "Yes?"

    "Know that your sister will still need you. Now, more than ever." The conversation ended there. Two emotionally heavy incidents in one day. It was taxing on both mind and body. Rirko sighed as he rubbed his head.

    'Maybe I'll call in sick tomorrow. Bah, what happens if Miho needs me? Now her sister is involved in this crap. How did she know? Shiho had a contact in Oarai. That means, they overheard a private conversation. But where did they go? What did they hear? Is Anglerfish somehow involved in this?'

    He would confront Anglerfish tomorrow. Someone from that group had told Shiho and she, in turn, told Maho. But Miho trusted all her friends. Who would betray her?
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Miho's Apartment – Night

    Miho was outside on her apartment floor, looking at the sky. Today's events had changed her entire situation. She was reassured that she would never be alone. Saori was getting ready for bed. She had the first shift.

    Her phone rang. Miho's heart raced as she saw who it was from. It was Maho.

    "Hello?"

    "Miho…" The same stoic voice came on.

    "Sister? Is everything alright?"

    "… …I should ask you the same."

    "What? Everythin-"

    "Please." Maho stopped her at mid-sentence. "Please, tell me the truth."

    Miho knew right away that Maho somehow knew of what was happening in Oarai.

    "How do you know?"

    "Mother heard it from an acquaintance that's in Oarai and she told her. That's how I know."

    Someone told her mother what had happened? "It's true. But the counselor's been helping me."

    "And I want to help you too. I don't know the conversations you've been having with him. But I still want to help you all the same."

    No way Miho was going to involve Maho in her struggles. It wouldn't be fair.

    "Tell me, what's been bothering you."

    Miho was quiet for a while. "I can't."

    Maho was speechless. She said 'no' to her help? "You can't?"

    "No, I'm sorry."

    "Hmm…then will let your counselor speak to me?" Miho was surprised that she would involve Rirko.

    "What are you going to ask him?" At once, there was a slam on the other end of the phone. It sounded like someone pounded wood.

    "Miho. Miho, please let me help you." The stoic façade was gone. It was a long time since she had heard Maho speak with emotion. "I'm scared for you. I don't know what's happening and I feel I can't do anything for you. At least help me understand why!"

    Miho felt bad. She didn't want Maho to be involved in any of this. However, she treated her friends the same way and they were heartbroken. And now the same thing was happening with her sister? Did she have no trust in anyone? Did she felt that she needed to do this on her own?

    Did she even trust her sister anymore?

    "Sister, why burden yourself with this? It has nothing to do with you."

    "It has everything to do with me! You're suffering, Miho! I can't let you go on like this!"

    Maho's declaration of care touched Miho's heart. But she wasn't going to burden her sister with her pain.

    "Don't get involved, please. I don't want to hurt you."

    "You're already hurting me!" There was a noticeable crack in her voice.

    "Why are you getting worked up over this?!"

    "Because I care! Because you know the reason for all of this. I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"

    Maho had completely lost it. This were her true feelings. She was concerned, she was angry, and she was desperate to help her sister. Even, if Miho didn't want it.

    "… … …I'm sorry, sister. I'm through talking about this." Before Maho could respond, she ended the call and shut off the phone.

    Saori opened the door to the apartment. "Miporin? You're out here by yourself?"

    Miho considered keeping a façade of smiling and reassuring her that everything was fine. Then, she remembered her talk with her friends. How they would support her and love her. Miho grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. She had the look of sadness and pain all over her face.

    It took a minute before Saori realized something was wrong. "Tell me what happened."
    Kuromorimine Carrier Ship – Nishizumi Residence – Night

    "Miho?! Miho!" No answer. There was a busy signal.

    Maho dropped the phone on the floor. She just sat there, for a while. Astonished by the fact that her sister refused her help. She was hurt. She knew that she was distant for the longest time with her, but did not know the extent. Miho, the sister who would turn to her for help and strength, had shut her out in her time of need. Exhausted, she didn't even bother changing. She crawled over to the bed and just stared at the ceiling. All the while asking "why?", "why?"

    But then she remembered the words that Rirko spoke to her.

    'Know that your sister will still need you. Now, more than ever.'

    Like it or not, Miho would be getting her help. No matter what the cost, she would save her sister from her own suffering.

    She slept on the covers that night.
    A/N: Another heavy chapter. From here on in, we'll be going up and down in emotions I hope you all enjoy the ride.

    I don't know if Yuri actually met Shiho after the last match. I remembered something like that in the manga. Hopefully, I'm not going crazy. Please let me know and I'll adjust accordingly.

    Your support in this is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
     
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    • Cold, Cold Heart (Part I)
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    • Uploader's Note: This one is a very long chapter. I am splitting it into two parts. The first part is here.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Now I know I screwed up somewhere. When we're talking about strategies in handling anxieties and depression, I hope I did it justice. If not, you can let me know. Those who have been adding the stories to alerts and favoriting it, much love. Thanks.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Morning

    Anglerfish was summoned to the counselor's office after morning announcements, except for Miho. She had already gone to her appointment with the hospital's psychiatrist, who was visiting the school, about her medication.

    They met with Yukari en-route and discussed the possibilities of this visit.

    "This will have something to do with Miporin," Saori said sadly.

    Yukari conferred. "Yes, I don't know if Miho saw Mr. Nagasawa. But I'm pretty sure she would have."

    Mako was still half-asleep. "You think he'll scold us for something?"

    "Doubt it. He doesn't know that we know."
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

    When the girls got to the front door, no one wanted to knock.

    Hana looked around. "If there's no problem, then why are we stalling?"

    "Don't you find it weird for a teacher to call us out of the blue like this? Couldn't he just wait until practice?"

    Yukari pondered on the thought. "Or maybe, he wanted us to talk to him privately."

    Silence. Then, Hana knocked on the door.

    "Enter!"

    Hana opened the door, and the group walked through. When they were in the office, Rirko had a neutral expression, and already he had set up a circle of chairs, one for each of them.

    "Please, have a seat, we have much to discuss." The girls didn't like where this was going. Saori was dead in her assumption that it would be about Miho. After Anglerfish got settled, Rirko started.

    "First of all, ladies, I'd like to thank you for your ongoing support for Miho. It's been nothing but exemplary. This has to be noted." The girls looked at each other, inquisitively.

    "Miporin's our friend, of course, we would help her," Saori spoke quietly. Rirko then noticed that each girl was doing something with their hands. Hana was playing with her long hair, Yukari was drumming, and Mako (although she looked like she was about to drop) was swinging her legs. They were all nervous.

    "Ah geez, will you girls relax." Anglerfish was surprised by this. "You're making me off like I'm some jerk who's going to be coming down on you for doing something wrong. It's been, what, two months and you should already know how I roll."

    For the last two months, Rirko had been building his reputation by being a firm, but fair, counselor. He didn't recall a time where he publicly humiliated a student or yelled to the extreme. The only time of note was when a student was in danger of being harmed, like Risa's temper tantrum.

    "We're sorry, Mr. Nagasawa," Yukari spoke up. "It's just that…"

    "You girls have Miho on the brain?" The girls just looked at him. How did he know?

    "It seems that we're both on the same side. We all want Miho to be happy, right?"

    "Yes," Hana replied. "I think that's the sentiment here."

    "Well then, let's work together on this. My job is the overall mental well-being of the school. It doesn't mean I don't do casework. And we all know that Miho is an exceptional case."

    Anglerfish nodded in agreement.

    "So, I think a little quid pro quo is needed here."

    Hana looked confused. "Quid pro quo?"

    "It's a leave a penny, take a penny," Mako remarked. She was right.

    "Yeah. I can't divulge any personal information about Miho, but I can talk about what you can do to help her. In exchange, you tell me about anything that I need to know."

    "Excuse me, sir?" Yukari had her hand in her air.

    "Yukari, this is not a classroom, you can talk normally."

    "Oh, sorry. It's just…I think we have to address the elephant in the room."

    "The elephant in the room? Which would be?"

    Yukari was silent for a moment before speaking up. "If we tell you our information, will you be suspending Miho from Sensha-do?" Anglerfish gasped. How could Yukari say something like that? But Yukari wanted to know if they could trust Rirko. Sensha-do was an activity Miho was passionate. Would he take it away from her?

    Rirko sighed. He walked into that one. He had forgotten about the suspension rule. No wonder Anglerfish were so hesitant in giving information.

    "Are you girls serious?" Yukari was wide-eyed at the question. "Miho's emotional well-being is at stake, I know. Her mother's probably pissed because I didn't suspend her outright. But think about what would happen if I did suspend her. What would she do? She said once Sensha-do was the only thing she was good at. Taking that away would drag her down into a spiraling mess. Am I the type of person that wants to mess up the one thing that's going well for her?"

    With these sentences, Rirko had proven his intent. He wasn't a hard-nosed teacher that played by the rules. He worked with the students to solve problems and bring out creative solutions.

    "That was a rhetorical question, by the way. No, I'm not."

    Anglerfish didn't know what to say. They had thought that if the counselor knew of Miho's condition, he would be duty bound to suspend her. But Rirko wanted to help Miho with her problems, not create more. He cared about her.

    The girls glanced around. "We accept your offer," Hana spoke on behalf of the group.

    "I guess my first question is: how was she yesterday evening?"

    Saori looked unsure, but then she knew it would be for Miho. "Um, I may have something…" All looked towards Saori.

    "Miho talked to her sister late last night."

    Are you f*****g kidding me? "Go on?"

    "She wouldn't tell me much, but she kept on saying how much her sister wanted to help her. I told her that she's probably worried, just like all of us."

    So, Maho spoke with Miho right after the conversation with him. "And the result?"

    "… …she was upset."

    'Damn it, Maho! Really?!' Maho had made Rirko's job a bit harder. If she did actions like that, Miho would not be so open about her feelings.

    "Well then…I have to ask. How did Maho find out in the first place?" Rirko took the opportunity to find out if there was a mole in the group. Anglerfish was confused about the question.

    "Miho must have told her."

    "True. However, she wasn't exactly truthful to all of you. So, what are the chances of her being truthful to her sister?" While there existed a bond, Miho was not the type of person to dump all her problems unto another.

    "I think someone snitched."

    Hana raised her hand. "What do you mean by that?"

    "Well, Maho wouldn't have known the type of situation Miho was in…unless someone told her about it."

    Still, Anglerfish was confused. Rirko sighed. He would have to take a more direct approach. And on a personal note, he should not have used too much Eastern jargon.

    "Someone told Maho about the emotional roller-coaster Miho's been on. Therefore, she knew of her situation. Get it?"

    Anglerfish slowly began to understand. Somehow, someone knew what was going on and told Maho.

    "Do you have an idea, Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Well, at first I thought it would have been one of you girls. But, judging by the surprised reaction you all gave me, it wasn't. She must have known another way. Did you happen to go to a public place to chat or something?"

    "No…" Hana replied. "We went directly to…my…house…" She became extremely quiet.

    Saori wanted to know why. "What is it, Hana."

    "I think I may know how Miho's sister knew."

    "Oh?"

    "Someone was listening to our conversation. There were only two people near us at the time. My mother and the family butler, Shinzaburou."

    Rirko was intrigued. "You believe either one told Maho?"

    "Yes…" Hana was quiet, but Rirko could hear she was upset. "Though I doubt it would be Shinzaburou."

    "How come?"

    "Shinzaburou has no relation to the Nishizumi. But mother does."

    Hana had zeroed in on who the perpetrator was. Her mother. But why? Why would she tell Maho?

    No use worrying about it now. "Well, what's done is done. What we do know is Maho knows and so, likely does Miho's mother."

    Anglerfish shuttered at the thought. After all the things that Shiho had put Miho through, they all knew she was a very unpleasant woman.

    "The question now is: what's going to happen."

    Anglerfish was silent. They wanted to help Miho but didn't want her to get in trouble.

    "How can we support Miho?" Asked Mako. "I mean we got some ideas, but they may not necessarily be the right ones."

    Had they ideas? Did they already have a plan in place? "May I ask, what these ideas are?"

    The rest of Anglerfish stared at Mako, and she knew that this was something she shouldn't have said. She blushed and looked down. That didn't go unnoticed.

    "Girls, if you're going to keep secrets from me, then this conversation is over. I'll find my way to help your friend, and you do the same. But to have a better chance of tackling this problem, we have to work together."

    Yukari wanted to test Rirko's sincerity. "Alright. You go first then. What do you suggest, Mr. Nagasawa?" If Rirko wanted their help, he would have to put something up on offer.

    "I did suggest to her to do more physical activities besides Sensha-do. Walking, running, something that keeps the mind preoccupied."

    Yukari felt they were getting somewhere. "We did invite Miho to go to go to a couple of places."

    "I think, for the most part, she's more vulnerable when she's alone. Most of her panic attacks seem to have happened while she was at home, by herself."

    Anglerfish then remembered her outburst from yesterday. About not being alone.

    "So, we need to spend more time with her?" Asked Hana.

    "Not to the point where you're suffocating her. Sometimes, she needs time to herself. But it doesn't mean you can't be in the same proximity. That way, she knows she has the support. Further, ask what she wants. We're under the assumption that she'll listen to whatever we say. However, for an effective treatment to work, the patient's input is an integral part of the recovery."

    "So, we need to ask her 'what does she want?'"

    "And you'll know if she's lying to you. You know the type of person that is she. Miho had the penchant of handling situations by herself and not wanting to involve anyone." Anglerfish considered Rirko's words.

    Saori sighed. "Well, we have been taking shifts sleeping over in her apartment."

    Some of the girls gasped. Especially Hana. "Saori!?"

    "Mr. Nagasawa wants to help us. We should tell him what we're doing. It's only fair. He's giving us this great piece of advice. Otherwise, we would have just continued to dump all our solutions unto Miporin. And that's not fair." Saori was willing to give Rirko a chance. Regardless of if he would suspend her, she knew he had her best interests at heart.

    "Thank you for your vote of confidence, Saori."

    "Well." Hana was still unsure, but if Saori had faith, then she would too. "I also talked about the possibility of Miho staying at my place for a while."

    Whoa, extreme much?! "I don't think something like that is needed. Would your mother even be okay with that?"

    "I still need to speak with her. But I will."

    Rirko saw that he couldn't stop Hana's intent, so he had to let it slide. "Alright, is there anything else?"

    Anglerfish was silent. That was it. Rirko was impressed that they could act right away. However, he felt that Miho should still play a part in her recovery rather than her friends doing all the work. "Does Miho know about these plans?"

    "Well, yes. We talked about it while Miho there with us."

    Well, at least the girls are on the same page. "And you didn't want to tell anyone about these plans, because?" The girls stared at Rirko.

    Wow, these girls are making me out as the asshole. "Right. Well, unless things get heated, and her psyche/ emotional state is at stake, I won't be banning her. She's in distress. She can make rational decisions and able to convey her feelings. Sensha-do can provide a great outlet for the stress...for now." While Sensha-do was a great outlet, it didn't mean it wouldn't prove a problem for her.

    Anglerfish was exhausted by the collaboration. Thinking about their friend's well-being was not only concerning, but tugging on their own emotions themselves.

    "Girls, I also want you all to take care of yourselves. Even though you have every intention of supporting your friend, you're playing a role as a caregiver. Over time, the stress of managing a person can be overwhelming. That's why if you need to take a step back, then do so. There's no shame in taking a break, you know. Some kids your age shouldn't be dealing with this type of thing."

    The girls were so concerned about Miho that they forgot about themselves. If they couldn't take care of Miho, who would? Miho wasn't weak, but something like this was out of her realm of expertise...and her personality. They all need to support one another.

    There was a knock on the door.

    Rirko sighed. "Well, I feel that was very productive. I believe our time is up. Remember, if you need support on this, let me know."

    The girls nodded. They had found someone who would support them to help Miho. This was a reassuring feeling. As the girls exited, a woman was standing in the doorway. She had a doctor's coat on. Her black hair and brown eyes fixated on Rirko.

    "Are you Mr. Nagasawa?"

    "Yes?"

    "My name Shinzuka Tendo. I'm the psychiatrist that's seeing one of your students?"

    Rirko was wide-eyed. T'he psyche? Wow. Wonder what she wants with me?' "May I ask the reason for your visit?"

    Shinzuka had some documents with her. "I would like to discuss a certain case you've been working on." She had to be referring to Miho.

    "Then by all means, please come right in." She entered the office, and the door closed.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Shed – Noon

    Miho didn't tell anyone that she would be having lunch with the tanks today. As she set herself up on the Panzer, she remembered how she and her friends talked about her past. To move on and look forward into the future. It was, at the time, a reassuring feeling.

    But these days, everything was foreign. Dealing constantly with emotions, Miho never considered before. Thoughts that she never had about her past were surfacing. The pain and sadness she pushed down wanted to express themselves. Miho was with negative emotion.

    She expected to eat her lunch silently, without anyone around. But she knew her friends were trying to find her. And they would. Ten minutes later, her hunch was correct, and the shed was filled with walking sounds. The rest of Anglerfish team walked towards the Panzer. They were smiling, but deep inside they were concerned and depressed by the situation.

    Miho waved slightly but deep inside; she was sad that something like this was happening. If only, she was stronger and could deal with it herself. If she was, would things go back to the way they were before?

    No one said anything during that lunch. The silence was broke through the birds chirping and the gentle breeze. They all understood that they needed to stick by each other. For some, the silence between people would be disturbing. Now, for them, it solidified their commitment to one another.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

    "Well, doctor. What brings you to me?" Rirko knew that she was referring to Miho. Shinzuka grabbed a chair and sat opposite of him.

    "It's regarding a student you've seen on a weekly basis? Miho Nishizumi?"

    Knew it. "Yes, I have been talking to her."

    Shinzuka shifted her eyes on some of the papers she was holding. "Well, since I'm assigned to this case, I felt it would be best if I included you in our discussions."

    "Really? I thought that you would be taking over this case completely."

    "That's true. However, I'm not well versed in the emotional aspect of the human mind like you. And you've been speaking with Miho about a variety of things. It's best we work together on this."

    Rirko wanted to help Miho in every way possible. He'd assume that the psychiatrist would be taking over and that would be the end of it. He would go back to handling the well-being of Oarai and maybe some students and teachers.

    Shinzuka studied him. "Just because I'm assigned to the case, it doesn't mean that your role is over. On the contrary, you're playing an important part."

    Rirko crossed his arms, unsure of what to think about all this. "Well, since I'm supposedly an important part, your mind tell me what your diagnosis is?" He was nervous because whatever she said, it wouldn't be good.

    "Based on our conversations, it seems she's been dealing with high levels of anxiety and depression."

    "Depression? I didn't know she was also depressed."

    "Well, people tend to hide their feelings very well sometimes. She's been saying a lot of negative comments about herself. "I'm weak," "I should have handled it better," you get the idea."

    It was something new to him. At the time, Miho was dealing with anxiety issues, but now she's making self-depreciating comments? Could it be she's dealing with both depression and anxiety? "How is she coping? I mean the meds…"

    Shinzuka shook her head. "The meds she's taking now were a low dosage. She used it for dealing with mild anxiety attacks. We're talking about physical symptoms that can seem like a heart attack, or worse."

    That was worrying. People with anxiety think they are dying and when they are admitted to emergency, nothing is wrong.

    "It's lucky you caught this early though. A few more months down the road, it could have developed into a full-blown anxiety or panic disorder."

    Rirko crossed his arms. "Regardless, it still needs to be dealt with."

    Shinzuka agreed. "Yes. And I believe the first step is to identify what's causing the anxiety?"

    "I've been trying to figure that out ever since I first seen her."

    "I can prescribe medication and suggest multiple physiotherapies. But it's looking like a psychological problem. She needs to open up, discuss what's bothering her, and move on."

    Easier said than done. A person's mind is like a puzzle. You think you solved one mystery, but then two more appear before you. It's especially difficult if that person is actively blocking your path. Miho was reluctant to talk about her problems with anyone. However, Rirko felt that he was connecting with her slowly, but surely.

    "There is one other thing I'd like to discuss with you." Whatever Shinzuka wanted to say, Rirko could tell it wasn't good. "It regards her participation in Sensha-do."

    Crap. "Yes, what about it?"

    "Why didn't you suspend her when the symptoms started to show? I like to think myself as a Sensha-do enthusiast, so I know of Miho's exploits. We both know that Sensha-do is a stressful sport, especially when you're the commander of the team. With the new rules in place about mental distress, why is it she is still participating?"

    Rirko felt a headache coming along. It was like he was getting interrogated. "Why don't I answer that question, with a question. If you knew your child had something good going for them, would you take it away?"

    Shinzuka had to think about it. "No?"

    "Well, it's the same here. I suspend Miho from Sensha-do, she'll have nothing. Sensha-do is probably, to her, most defining feature. It's how she met her friends and gained relationships with other people. How she socializes and relates. It's also the thing that's keeping her sane right now. She's still an important part of the team. To take that all away, she'll have a psychotic break from the grief."

    "Hmm…" Shinzuka sympathized with Rirko's situation. "I'm thinking about the Federation coming down on you. The chairwoman-"

    The mention of Shiho and her willingness to harm her children caused Rirko to snap.

    "The chairwoman can suck a big, fat cock for all I care!" His sudden outburst surprised her. He suddenly realized what he just said. "Forgive me. I just have a lot of grief with that lady. Not personally, but…"

    "That's abundantly clear…" Shinzuka smiled. "You're not the only one with an opinion on Shiho Nishizumi. A lot of people in the community think she's too much for the younger generation. The Nishizumi style of Sensha-do, to always achieve victory no matter the costs. Loss without consideration is an unnecessary loss."

    Rirko looked at the clock. He was getting impatient, and there was still much to do. His professional duties were being neglected. It was almost noon. "Is there anything else, doctor?"

    "No. I wanted to drop these forms off. Also, I'll need you to sign a consent form regarding sharing of information."

    "Done." Shinzuka gave him a card.

    "You can just fax the forms when you've completed them. I need them by next Wednesday."

    "Got it. Well, I hope we can work together in this case."

    "Likewise." Shinzuka bowed as she left. "Mr. Nagasawa."

    The fact that the Nishizumi had a soft heart…surely this must have bothered Shiho to the very core. They were known as strong-willed individuals so for someone, like Miho, to buckle down under pressure. It found out, would prove a bigger scandal than the final match ever could.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Shed – Afternoon

    After classes were over for the day, Anglerfish (especially Miho) knew that they would be in for a reckoning. The fact that they were MIA yesterday piqued the interests of most of the teams. As they headed over to the tanks, the rest of the teams started to gather around them. Multiple voices starting to ring.

    "Good to see you, Miho!"

    "Do you best, Anglerfish!"

    "We're here if you need us!"

    "You guys are awesome!"

    "Please, don't push too much!"

    And on, and on, and on. The words of encouragement and support touched Anglerfish. However, for Miho, it just reminded her that she failed to lead her team yesterday. How could she face them? At the time, she just wanted to turn around and run home. They approached the center, and all the teams assembled. Miho had to address the teams before beginning practice.

    "I suppose, you all noticed that Anglerfish was away from practice yesterday. I'm very sorry about this. There's a reason for that…" Murmurs started to fly. They all wanted to know the reason for Anglerfish's disappearance. However, Miho could think of a good reason why they were away. Anglerfish saw her struggling.

    "Personal reasons," Saori announced. Everyone looked at her. "We were dealing with personal issues, and we can't say any more."

    The entirety of the team just looked. Personal reasons? They were all about to launch into a flurry of questions when Rirko spoke up.

    "Personal reasons for anyone is a struggle. Besides, if you had personal reasons, would you be open to sharing it with everyone?" The questions started to die down. Rirko looked at Miho.

    "If Anglerfish needs help, then I'm sure that they will let all of you know. Commander." Rirko gave a solemn bow. "My apologies, I meant no disrespect."

    This was a bit embarrassing for Miho. A teacher apologizing in front of students? "Uh, it's okay. At any rate, let's work together for this coming match. Once again, I'm sorry that we were away. I will be sure to let you know in advance if we're going to be away again. Anglerfish, with Miho, gave a bow. The teams were silent again.

    "Let's train hard!"

    "Yeah!" Even though no reason was given, the teams still supported Miho's leadership. But, it didn't mean that everyone was satisfied in her well-being. The tank commanders were still unsure if everything was okay. As the team loaded up, Miho spoke with Ami and Rirko.

    "Why did you apologize?" Miho asked.

    Rirko was a bit embarrassed. "Well, as a commander you were addressing the troops. I jumped in when you guys had the trouble of thinking a more fitting explanation. Not supposed to be doing that. I superseded your authority."

    "He's right," Ami added. "And I'm sure that he won't do it again." Rirko could see her smile a little bit.

    "Yeah. Sorry."

    "It's okay. But thank you." Miho gave a short bow and walked towards the Panzer.

    "Okay, seriously. Why did you do that? And be honest with me this time."

    Ami was asking for the truth. Rirko sighed, "personal reasons were like opening a can of worms. They would feel they had an obligation to explain. I had to stop that and make them understand that they had no right to ask about that. Further…it's to show that everyone makes mistakes."

    Ami raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

    He shrugged. "Well, maybe the last part was a bonus."

    Both looked forward to the practice.
    Kuromorimine High School – Headmistress Office – Afternoon

    Shiho was busy finalizing the venue for the Sensha-do drawing ceremony. As well as sending last warnings to the remaining schools who didn't send in their safety drill plans. There was a knock on the door.

    "Enter."

    Soon Maho entered the room.

    "Close the door," Shiho ordered. Hesitating for only a moment, Maho closed the door and walked towards the desk.

    "You want to see me, headmistress?"

    "I did." Shiho was still working on her computer. "You had twenty-four hours to appraise the situation in Oarai; I expect results."

    "Ma'am." Maho appeared ready, but her heart was racing. The argument that she had Miho shook her still. Hurt that her sister, the one who she sacrificed much for, rejected her help Maho couldn't help but feel depressed over the situation. "I contacted the student counselor in Oarai."

    "And?"

    "He confirmed that Miho is in emotional distress."

    That Mr. Nagasawa again. "Did you confirm more information?"

    "No, ma'am. He cited legalities regarding disclosure."

    Shiho was surprised. "Explain yourself, Maho."

    "Ma'am. The first reason he cited was that Miho sought medical help on her own. Therefore, any information that involves this case can be confidential. The proper medical authority could release the information. The second reason is that a doctor is under no obligation to report any medical instances, as long as the patient is notified."

    Shiho was silent with rage. 'That man is trying to make a fool out of me?! Of the Nishizumi?' "Why didn't you press on the issue, Maho?"

    She knew she was in for it. Shiho was pissed at the fact that she allowed the issue to be dropped completely. "Forgive me, headmistress. I…" Shiho raised her hand.

    "I trusted you with this task Maho because I believed you could handle this yourself. Now, however, it seems that the situation requires my direct involvement?" Shiho shot a glare to Maho.

    "That will not be necessary, headmistress. I will handle the problem, with more favorable results."

    Shiho got up and stared at the window. "Oarai will be facing Pravda in one week's time. You will have an opportunity to speak with him personally there as we will be attending that match."

    Maho was silent but knew that the inner gears of her mother were working.

    "Understood."

    "I will also personally send a message to Mr. Nagasawa to discuss the issue. It must be dealt with. For the good of the Nishizumi clan. Do you understand?"

    "Yes, headmistress." Maho gave a slight bow and headed towards the door. The door closed, and Shiho returned to her work. At that moment, she noticed an e-mail:
    To all members of the Sensha-do Federation,

    The Mental Health Japan Initiative extends an invitation to all board members to attend a workshop addressing mental health in the educational system. A variety of topics will be discussed including, but not limited to:

    - Expectations of the practice

    - How to effectively deal with emotionally distressed students

    - Developing a working relationship with healthcare professionals and schools

    - Sensha-do Federation policies and procedures

    - Mental health awareness, strategies, and support

    We look forward to seeing you.

    Regards,

    Mental Health Japan Initiative (M.H.J.I)
    Shiho frowned at the e-mail. "First these people are interfering in Sensha-do affairs. Now they expect us to go to this useless workshop?" She had no choice but to go. The M.H.J.I was one of the advocacy groups wanting to ban Sensha-do due to it's over excessive battle violence that simulated wars. If the Chairwoman of the Board of Sensha-do didn't show up, then it would look bad for the entire Federation. She couldn't exactly send out an designate; it would also be bad publicity. It would have to be her, personally.

    'I'll just go there, spend a couple of hours, then exit due to unforeseen circumstances. This entire mental health issue everyone is up and arms about is preposterous. What does it have to do with Sensha-do?' Shiho didn't agree with the initiative. Perhaps, because it was an unseen problem that her mind couldn't wrap around students having mental problems. Mental health was something new in Japan. Obviously, someone who has been around the block a couple of years in Sensha-do, wouldn't know.

    She started to compose a new e-mail, for Rirko.
    Subject: Issue

    Mr. Nagasawa,

    It has come to my attention that my daughter, Miho Nishizumi, is a subject of a mental health examination that you, yourself, have initiated. You will immediately cease this investigation. Furthermore, you are to destroy any evidence that this incident has occurred.

    Failure to comply will result in your termination.
    Of course, this was a threat. Shiho had no authority to terminate the employment of a school official, especially if they are part of a school exchange program. That authority was exclusive to MEXT and as far as they were considered, did not want to step on the toes of their 'international partners.' MEXT had carefully crafted their relationship in the east for the last few years and wasn't about to let some personal vendetta undo everything. Besides, if Rirko was doing his job, then Shiho had no claim.

    She wanted the information about Miho's condition to be under wraps, less the rest of the community find out and the Nishizumi involved in another scandal.

    She swiftly sent the e-mail. Little did she know, that e-mail would never come to light.
    Uploader's Note: Part 2 will be posted later. Please wait warmly.
     
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    • Cold, Cold Heart (Part II)
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    • Uploader's Note: Here is the second part of the chapter. The second part has heavy themes relating to mental health. Read at your own discretion.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Kuromorimine High School – Hallway – Afternoon

    Maho was annoyed at being grilled by her mother. Expect results? Immediate involvement? It was like a general addressing a subordinate. Last time she checked, she was her daughter. The entire affair left Maho fuming.

    'Miho is once again in the middle of trouble. Why can't that girl keep her nose clean? Is it too much to ask?'

    Admittedly, Maho was tired of covering for Miho. She had always done so. For the sake of her happiness, she would do anything to accommodate her. But because of that little spat the two had, the fact that Miho called her trust into question, she wondered if it was all worth it? For the first time since Miho left, Maho wondered whether she would have preferred herself to be happy rather than her sister. She found a bench and sat down. Still wearing the stoic mask, inside of her was a torrent of emotion. Anger, sadness, self-pity…

    'Why am I constantly sticking out my neck for her? It's not like she knows why I'm doing it. Maybe, I should just leave her alone. Have her handle her issues. But what about mother? What would she say if she found out I didn't do what she asked? She wants me to talk to that counselor again. Do I want to do that? Do I even have to?'

    "Commandant?"

    'If I could, I would just go. Just leave that ungrateful woman to her own devices and live my way. Miho's lucky, she doesn't have to worry about any of this. She doesn't have to worry about living in the shadow of greatness and-'

    "Commandant?" Maho's self-reflection was broken by voice, calling rank. She looked up and saw Erika Isumi, her second-in-command and, perhaps, the closest thing to a friend.

    "Erika! F-Forgive me, I didn't see you there."

    "Commandant? Is everything alright? You seemed distracted…"

    "Yes…I've been distracted as of late."

    This piqued Erika's interest. She never would ask her commandant anything like this, but this time her curiosity got the better of her. "You have? That's not like you. You've always focused on the battle ahead."

    "Well, it's been a rough couple of days and…" Maho was tempted to divulge to Erika everything that has happened to her. But then, she remembered her place. The thoughts of running away, being her person and letting Miho handle her issues. They all faded away and replaced by loyalty, sacrifice, and love.

    Maho shook her head. "Never mind. I believe it's almost time for practice."

    "Yes, ma'am."

    As Maho walked towards the Sensha-do field, Erika could not help but think that something was wrong.

    'The commandant lost in thought? I wonder if that situation she mentioned is serious?'

    Not wanting to question, Erika dismissed the thought and headed after her commander.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Miho's Apartment – Night

    It was Yukari's turn to sleep over at Miho. Since being on the new medication, Miho had been doing better. It was like the veil of sadness that overtook everything was lifted, and everything was on track to what it should be.

    Miho was once again outside. She looked at the phone. The argument she had with her sister disturbed her greatly.

    "Why are you getting worked up over this?!"

    "Because I care! Because you know the reason for all of this. I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"

    "… … …I'm sorry, sister. I'm through talking about this."

    Miho shuttered at the thought. How would she reconcile herself with her sister? An argument like that did not bode well for anyone.

    "Miss Nishizumi, will you be heading off to bed soon?" Miho turned to see Yukari standing at the door. She joined her.

    Miho nodded. "Yeah. I'm just taking in the night air."

    "Good to hear." Yukari smiled. For the first time in a long while, it seemed that Miho was at peace. But she knew, due to past experiences, that Miho needed to work more on her issues. It was the only way to recover truly. "Was training okay for you?"

    "Yes, it was." Miho didn't suffer the same drama back at Glorianna but felt the minor shortness of breath and heart palpitations. It wasn't as serious, but it still existed. "I'm glad the team is doing a lot better. Platypus and Tortoise are doing a lot better in their training. They'll soon be on par with everyone else."

    "Did you decide who the backup team is going to be on the contingency plan?"

    "Yes. I talked to the other team commanders shortly after practice today. If Anglerfish is taken out, it'll be up to Hippo or Turtle to continue the strategy. If they are taken out, the teams can act freely."

    Yukari pondered at the thought. "Hippo and Turtle? How come those two."

    "Erwin's ability to keep a level head," Miho explained. "She can follow up on any plan and have the team follow it to a tee. Momo has a voice of a leader. She has the mind of a strategist too but just needs to keep her feelings in check."

    "I see. I'm glad you got things sorted out."

    Miho giggled. "Not really. I still need to finalize the type of strategy we'll be using against Pravda."

    "Yeah." Yukari contemplated if Katyusha changed at all ever since their last meeting. "You think Pravda will have new tricks?"

    "I'm sure that their modus operandi hasn't changed. They still specialize in ambush tactics."

    "I'm sure you'll think about something clever, like last time?"

    Miho knew what Yukari was referring to. How they won the seat of their pants with a last-minute strategy that worked. It was the Hail Mary of plays that Pravda had the honor of being a part of.

    "Of course. With everyone's help, I'm sure we'll win."

    Yukari tapped on Miho's shoulder and started to head inside. "Just be sure that you're taking care of yourself. It's getting chilly. I'll see you inside." Miho nodded as Yukari entered the building. Alone again, Miho let her mind wander a little.

    'My sister. My mother. My only family. I love my sister and still love my mother. Despite what happened to me, I still want us to be together. But these feelings I have. What are they? I can't explain them. I wonder if Mr. Nagasawa can help me understand them.'

    She contemplated this under the night sky.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning – Next Day

    Ever since Miho's breakdown earlier in the week, Rirko decided it would be best to check up on her on a bi-weekly basis. He spoke to Miho about it after the practice yesterday. At first, she was apprehensive about the bi-weekly appointments but eventually agreed to them as they would help her understand what was going on with her.

    Rirko was early coming in, once again. Fifteen minutes. As the time of the appointment came near, he began to prepare. When Miho came in, after the standard meet and greeted, she sat down and saw on the table two documents. They had "Information to Disclosure" as the title, with Maho's name on one and Shiho's name on the other.

    "What's this?" Miho asked.

    Admittedly, Rirko was nervous. He needed at least one of the family members to cooperate with her. To ascertain personal information, he would need either woman on his side. That needed consent from Miho to share.

    "What does the title say?" Rirko asked. He sipped his coffee while Miho read through the document.

    "Information to disclosure…" Miho studied the document. After a few moments, she put it down. "Do you want to share information with my sister and mother?"

    "Well, that's up to you. We, counselors, are bound to a Code of Ethics, that doesn't allow us to share information with other people unless we have the client's consent."

    "So, you need my consent to share information…"

    "There's one thing you should know." Rirko leaned forward a little. "A few days ago, Maho called me on my phone."

    Rirko had to let Miho know about Maho. If she didn't, and this information confronted her, then Miho would turn on him. He had no agreement of confidentiality with Maho, so he had nothing to lose. Miho had a right to know.

    She was shocked. Maho called Rirko? "Please, you didn't…"

    "No, I didn't. I did not share anything with her." Miho breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't want Maho to get involved than she already was. It would be too much for her.

    "My mother can't find out about this. My sister already knows, but..."

    Rirko sighed. "Well, apparently she found out too. I don't know how but they notified your family and they, in turn, called me."

    Miho's heart sank, and she became pale. Not only her sister now knows, but her mother? What would her thoughts be about this? If anything, the Nishizumi style does not allow for weaknesses. Miho, unfortunately, was riddled with weaknesses. She had to sit there in silence to let it all sink in.

    "How did she know?"

    Rirko wanted Miho to think. "Where were you last evening?" She thought about it. They were at Hana's house. Did someone from Hana's family let her mother know? Her mind raced with thoughts of doom.

    'Mother knows. What will she think? She must be furious.' She looked at Rirko. "So, what now?"

    "That's up to you. You can let both in on what's been happening or not or maybe only one of them."

    "… … what did my sister say to you."

    Rirko frowned. "She was not happy. Let's just say that I needed her to calm herself before I was able to speak to her properly."

    Miho hadn't seen her sister upset with anything ever since childhood. When she was upset, she had a temper that would affect everything around her. It was usually when Miho was hurt. If what Rirko was saying true, then she must have been very upset by the entire situation. That would explain her sudden outburst over the phone a few days prior.

    "She was very concerned about what was going on. Did you let her know everything?"

    Miho shook her head. "No, not everything." She suddenly put her hands on her face and moaned. "She knows what's going on. Mother knows what's going on." 'Do I let them know? Mother wouldn't understand. Maho might…I don't know.'

    Rirko could sense the inner struggle. She didn't need to talk to him to know that she was conflicted if she wanted to know the truth, or not. Suddenly, Miho put her hands down and looked at Rirko. She wanted to hear his thoughts.

    Sighing, he indulged her. "Miho, making these types of decisions…it seems like an impossible task at first."

    He was right about that. Miho didn't know what to do now. Either way, she was in a lose-lose situation.

    "That being said, treat this as a Sensha-do match." Rirko was going to play to her strengths. If she related the situation to Sensha-do, then she'll make a calculated decision. "You have limited intel, at best. Both sides appear to be on your side. However, you don't know completely if they are trustworthy. If you share too much, you might ruin the entire operation. Do you: distrust both, trust both openly, or trust the one that you have more of a relationship with. You can't have all, only one."

    Now the decision became a lot easier. Miho relaxed when Rirko explained it like a Sensha-do match. "If I trusted both, then both might betray me."

    "Yes?"

    "But if I don't trust either, then it doesn't work to my advantage. So…trust the one that I have a good relationship with?"

    Rirko gestured his open hand to her. "Then go and do likewise."

    His explanation helped Miho decide. Her mother wouldn't understand how she was feeling. But Maho's concerned outburst and her need to contact Rirko showed that she really cared about her. Taking the pen on the table, she signed the consent form belonging to Maho. She set the pen down.

    "Alright then." Rirko took both papers and set it on his desk. 'Glad I got that done. Geez, that was stressful. My heart can't handle this shit, man.' Rirko knew that Miho wouldn't sign Shiho's consent form. It was better this way. To avoid the confrontation between her and the matriarch leader, she couldn't get more involved than she already was.

    She needed to be kept at arm's length. Maho was more flexible and understood where Miho was coming from and the type of person she was. It was the most logical choice.

    "So, what happens now?"

    "Well. If your sister asks, I'll only tell her information that's relevant to her. Just because you signed a consent form, it doesn't mean I'll share everything. If I feel that information is important to her, then I'll share."

    So Rirko won't be sharing everything. This relieved Miho, somewhat. If they were to continue with the sessions, she had to be sure that he would keep all information about her feelings confidential.

    "I think I mentioned it to you before, but I'll mention it again. My concern is with the student. If I feel that student is in danger of harming themselves or others, then I am legally obligated to report these activities to the proper authorities. Do you understand this?"

    Miho nodded. Rirko had to cover his professional bases. He was obligated to the student, sure, but he had to make sure that they and other people were safe.

    "Well, now that's out of the way…I suppose you have a topic you want to discuss?"

    Miho did. This entire week was about her relationship with her sister. The feelings that she had for her; she wanted to understand what they meant. "I actually want to talk about my sister."

    'I gotta talk about the monkey?' "Well, what about Maho?"

    "What do you think about her?"

    Rirko folded his arms and thought. "Well, from my interactions with her, she's a very serious woman. On the outside, cold and calculating. She doesn't say anything more than what is required. However…"

    "However?" Miho was interested in what Rirko's take was going to be.

    "However, like everyone, this is a mask. On the inside, it's someone who cares. When we spoke on the phone the first time, she was not the person I meet back in Aokigahara. She had righteous fury and you on the brain."

    The type of person Rirko was describing was a side Miho hadn't seen a long time. It was the person that she wanted to see more often.

    "The way she spoke about you. There was a lot of love, but a lot of pain. I think…it's just me. But I think, she misses you."

    This caused Miho to be teary-eyed. She wiped the tears with her sleeve. "She misses me, huh."

    "As I said, that's my take on it." The room was eerily silent. Twenty minutes had passed into the hour. It seemed that there was something Miho wanted to say but had trouble saying it.

    The silence, to Rirko, was maddening. 'Come on Miho, don't do me like this. Say something!'

    Finally, Miho took a deep breath. "Then, where was she?"

    "Where?"

    Miho gave Rirko a piercing look. Her eyes reflected sadness and anger. "Where was she when mother sent me away?"

    Rirko was confused at first. Finally, he slowly understood. 'No. Miho, no, come on.' "Are you referring to that one match…against Pravda?"

    Miho nodded. She was speaking about the aftermath of the match between Kuromorimine and Pravda. When she risked her life to save six teammates and was banished for her trouble.

    'Goddamnit. This stuff is heavy; I'm not ready.' But Rirko knew that he had to let her speak. He had no luxury of redirection. This was something she wanted to speak about. "Go on, then. What happened?"

    "After the match between Pravda and Kuromorimine, mother called me in with Maho. He was upset that I sacrificed victory for the sake of my teammates. Mother was saying bad things about me…and Maho…" Her hands clenched on each leg, taking hold of her skirt, as she sat and was visibly shaking.

    Rirko leaned a bit closer to hear her. She was whispering now.

    "Maho was just sitting there…and said nothing. She looked like a doll and said nothing."

    "And how do you feel about this? How do you feel that the very sister who says who loves you, did nothing?"

    Rirko had to know her true feelings about the situation. Miho said she had no qualms with her banishment, that she was glad she could meet new friends and people. That the banishment changed her life. But, perhaps, she said the words everyone wanted to hear. To Miho, however…

    "She…she betrayed me…She could have said something. She could have defended me, but no. She said nothing. That hurt me…"

    So that was it. The feeling of betrayal. Miho felt that her sister was looking after her own interests, avoided their mother's wrath, and just let the tirade happen. She was pissed over that, and who wouldn't? That was a natural reaction. The person who you loved dearly, doing away with you in an instant.

    "Did you even talk to her about this?"

    Miho shook her head. "No. I didn't. I don't want to. That happened in the past now."

    This statement may have been in passing, but to Rirko, it told a lot. Her past was painful. So painful, that she didn't want to think about it. About any of it. That she would rather suffer than to come to terms with what had happened to her.

    "You're in pain?" Rirko wanted to comfort her. She had just spilled a lot of hardcore stuff on him, and he felt sorry for her.

    "I am in pain."

    "Are you upset?"

    It took a minute for her to answer. "I don't know." Rirko knew, however, that she was upset. The visible shaking and the disjointed breathing. She just didn't want to admit it.

    "To feel what you are feeling, I can only imagine. The pain of betrayal and the loneliness that came with it. Even though it happened a long time ago, you still feel it, huh." That validation hit home more than he could ever imagine. The one who showed you love and care now was the one who shunned you.

    Miho shut her eyes, still shaking. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

    "… …alright." Rirko now had a starting point. She still had issues regarding the fallout. She held ill will to her sister, even though she loved her. Maho, in Miho's eyes, betrayed her trust.

    So, how could Miho trust her again?

    "We're done for today, Miho. But I want you to breathe deeply. Keep your eyes closed. When you are ready, then you can leave." She nodded and started to breathe.

    Rirko walked over to his desk. He grabbed the consent forms and looked at them. Even though she signed the form for Maho, it still means that he had an obligation to not reveal anything that would jeopardize the integrity of the sessions. Looking at the empty form for Shiho, he could only imagine that Miho hated her with a passion. Her own mother. She would not divulge anything to her. Ever.

    It took five minutes before Miho could retake control. Ashamed of herself for letting Rirko see such a display and angry with the fact he forced her to remember these events, she swiftly grabbed her bags and headed out the door without saying a word.

    Rirko was alone, with his thoughts again. He facepalmed, realizing of his folly. He pressed the issue upon her, even though he knew it was uncomfortable. His wanting to find out more about how she felt outweighed her own needs. He needed to be more patient about it. Rirko screwed up.

    'Well, shit hit the fan. Such intense feelings. Pain, anger, and betrayal. But, did Maho really betray her? Or, was it for another reason. Miho didn't bother in trying to find out. But, some people have a one-track mind, and it may take some time for her to understand the motives of others. Man, I should have been more patient about it. I knew she didn't want to talk, and still, I pushed her.'
    This afterthought left a bad taste in his mouth. He wanted to apologize, but it would have to wait until later. He still wanted to unravel the mysteries of Miho's heart. The who, what, when, where, why and how?

    Rirko had found resolve. "I will help that girl." Looking at his e-mails, he failed to notice his spam folder. He also remembered that the mental health presentation that Headmistress Raidou was looking forward to being tomorrow. It was a good thing he already completed it. Another knock on the door. It was a student.

    "Hi sir, can I talk to you real quick?"

    'Give me a f*****g break.' "That's what I'm here for."
    Oarai girl's Academy – Main Building – Morning/ Afternoon

    Miho was in a lousy mood for the entire day. Anglerfish knew that something was off. Although she acted normally, the girls felt that Miho was hiding something. They were right to suspect.

    The day for Miho, however, was full of reflection. She didn't consider her feelings for her sister before. The fact that she was hurt by this supposed betrayal shook her. In the end, though, she was still left with more questions than answers. But she didn't have the luxury to contemplate on this all day for as soon as the day was done, Sensha-do practice would begin again.

    She still felt awful that she left without saying a word to Rirko. She was more upset that he forced her to confront these feelings. But isn't this what she wanted? She wanted to understand what was happening inside of her and her emotions would play an integral part in this task. He was just doing his job but felt it was invasive. Before practice, she confided in with the rest of Anglerfish before the other teams assembled.
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Sensha-do Training Grounds - Afternoon

    After explaining what had happened, Yukari was the first to give her thoughts. "Miss Nishizumi, you must feel horrible."

    Miho nodded slowly. "But Miporin, you know he was doing his job, right?"

    "But did he have to talk more about the issue? Couldn't he take the hint?" Miho rebutted.

    "Didn't you raise the issue on your own, Miho?" Hana asked. Everyone was silent. Hana's point was that Miho had the option to stop the conversation, but kept on talking about it. She had no one to blame, but herself.

    Miho could understand where Hana was coming from. "I felt awful after that conversation."

    "Did he know?" Shaking her head, she realized that she left without saying a word to him.

    "Conversations like that. They are not easy to have. But they are necessary in order to understand your own feelings. If you don't have those conversations, then you'll never get better."

    Miho wanted to get better, she really did. Her past had something to do with her present. It was hard but necessary. That was what Hana was trying to get across.

    She sighed. "I understand. But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

    Anglerfish, as always, rallied for her. She was reassured that she had the support. The other teams started to come in, with Ami and Rirko tagging along.

    Ami wanted to see the Turtle Team about how the setup with the match of Pravda and the Winter Festival trip was going. Rirko stood by the shed and saw Miho walking towards him. She gripped her arm nervously and was looking to the side.

    'Ah hell, here we go.' He was expecting the worst. As the two met face-to-face, she was audibly humming on how to go about this.

    "Mr. Nagasawa? I...um..."

    "You don't have to say anything."

    "Eh?"

    "It was my fault. I should have been more patient about finding out what I needed to know. I put my own interests in front of my own. I also forced you to talk about something that you didn't want to talk about. For that, I'm sorry."

    "No, no!" Miho was waving her hands. "It's my fault. I should have let you know I didn't want to talk about it earlier. I just...it was...eh..." Miho didn't know what to say next. She should have said she wanted to end the conversation and be done with it. But she led him on with her emotions, thereby letting Rirko assume she wanted to discuss it.

    "Remember what I said to you before? This is your session. You get to decide what is spoken here. If you want me to stop an entire line of questioning, I will do so. Don't worry about me. Worry about what you want out of this."

    This entire time, Rirko thought that he was pushing Miho too hard with his line of questioning. But Miho failed to let him know about her comfort level. She knew she didn't want to talk about it until it was too late. She was preoccupied with what he wanted. Never about herself.

    "I don't want to do anything that'll make you uncomfortable. The sessions are a means to help you get what you are feeling out there, without any judgments or consequences. It's a tool for you to use to help you cope. So, if you want me to shut up, then I will. But please tell me. It's important to let me know."

    Miho was told to think about herself. Something that she didn't do enough of. Self-advocacy. He wanted her not only to talk but to say 'enough' is 'enough.'

    "I will. I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. I thought you wanted to hear everything."

    "Well, not all at once. We got time for this. One step at a time."

    Miho smiled a little. She felt better, now knowing that he wasn't going to force her to talk about anything that would make her uncomfortable. Perhaps, she can still rely on him to solve her emotional distress.

    "You better get to your team. Practice is about to start." Miho nodded and gathered the teams together. Rirko looked on, as the enigma addressed the crowd.
    A/N: It's a bit of a long one. But I got a longer chapter coming in (I think.) Hopefully, the facts are straight and I didn't screw up anywhere. But nothing is perfect in this world so I'm pretty self-conscious about certain parts of the story. That's because while I'm knowledgeable about mental health, by no means do I know the ins and outs like other professionals. If you have any ideas on how to improve the story, let me know. I'll decide if it's a good fit.

    Thanks for tuning in. It's really touching.
     
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    • A Trusted Aide (Part I)
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    • Uploader's Note: Once again, another long chapter. Splitting this into two parts, as usual.

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    A/N: Transitioning places now. Introductions of Pravda and a new location. Enjoy.

    Update: Was td Katyusha was not a child genius but someone who looks like a kid but is not. Said update in italics.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Morning

    "Even though we can't see it, it doesn't mean that it's not a danger. To dismiss mental illness as a behavioural problem is doing a disservice to not only to the students but the entire educational system."

    Friday. The school was out for the day for teachers to undergo 'professional development.' Rirko was giving his spiel about mental illness, how it works and what teachers could do to support their students. As he was winding down, he noticed a couple of things.

    At first, most of the teachers were bored, but when Rirko began to speak in a firm, animated tone, they shifted their focus. Some of them asked questions, to better understand the concept of behaviour and cause when it comes to discipline students. When he was winding down, he could see in some of the teacher's eyes the gears turning in their heads in what they could do to be supportive, somewhat authoritative.

    "As times change, people change. Either start to change your way of thing or remain stagnant in your teaching styles. But if you do that, I promise you; the result will be unfavourable. People look positively towards change, if not sooner than later. If you dare to try something new and create new bonds, then you will not be only strengthening the bonds of your students, but with yourself."

    As Rirko finished, the room was stunned silent. Headmistress Raidou was nodding a couple of times during the presentation. He waited what the teachers would say. He was preparing to leave the front of the room when someone clapped. Then two. Then three. Soon, the entire room was filled with applause. The headmistress made her way to the front of the room.

    "Thank you, Mr. Nagasawa. We appreciate your insight in mental health and how, as a school community, we can better support our students. I encourage taking Mr. Nagasawa's lecture to heart. Change is a good thing if not seen sooner, than later."

    Rirko made his way to his seat, and the headmistress continued her agenda. As she spoke, his mind was focused elsewhere. He wondered what Miho and her friends were doing right now.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Park - Morning/Afternoon

    It was a busy day at the park, more so with the number of girls that were there. The entire Sensha-do team assembled themselves at the park. The team commanders, earlier in the week, decided to know each other better to hold a festival of sorts for each other. Kii and Risa organised the events by making sure everyone showed up. The rest of the team provided supplies: games, food, sports equipment, everything that you need to have a good time.

    All the teams showed up at 10:00 am. Anglerfish was in the background, with the rest of the teams. Kii and Risa showed all of them where different stations were, and which side was handling which. After 30 minutes, everyone would move to another location, and so on until every team had a chance to participate in every activity. Just like your typical school fun day. One member of each team was to supervise a station. When the teams switched over, so did they.

    Turtle team was taking notes as they had to find ways to improve on school morale. A school festival might be just the thing. Every team showed up. Turtle, Tortoise, Mallard, Platypus, Anteater, Leopon, Duck, Rabbit, Hippo and, of course, Anglerfish. Each person received a list of activities:

    Kite flying

    Three-legged race

    Flower arrangements

    Volleyball

    Capture the flag

    Brief history of tank warfare (with props for extra effect)

    Student café (Break station)

    Tug-o-war

    Comedy corner​

    As soon as everyone assembled, Kii and Risa explained what was happening. As the activities were underway, some of the other teams were preparing lunch. Under the direction of Saori, the meals were spectacular. Everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves.

    Although out of her element, Miho did her best to engage in every activity with the same energy and enthusiasm as she would with Sensha-do. Kii and Risa did a remarkable job getting everyone to work together, and she would be sure to mention it to the team at the next practice session. However, it wasn't easy for her. The activities required a lot of cardio, and sometimes she would feel winded. Thankfully, the events were short enough that she didn't need a break to get through. And at the resting stations, she took every opportunity to rest. But it didn't go unnoticed.

    Ceasar, who had long suspected that something was seriously wrong, decided to confront Miho while at the last station for their group: the café. She put up a chair beside Miho, and she had a severe look.

    "Miho, is everything alright? I mean, a lot of stuff is happening. I just wanted to be sure."

    Miho was tempted to go with the 'I'm fine' approach. As she has always done. But, due to the intervention of Rirko and her friends, she knew it wouldn't hurt to tell Ceasar only some things, not everything.

    "What I can tell you is that I have personal issues and that I am seeking help. That's all. I'm sorry, I can't say any more than that."

    Always like Miho to believe in the worst-case scenario. Ceasar would probably probe for more information, they get into a fight that everyone sees, and everything will be a mess. Instead, the result surprised her.

    Cesar sighed. "Alright, Miho. You got your stuff you want to take care off. I can see that. But we're a team, and you are our commander. Even though you said to think for ourselves, we're more comfortable with you at the helm. You have our support on anything. I can speak for the other commanders, and I promise you they'll say the same thing. Just say the word…we're here for you."

    "Please keep it between us. Some people already know, but I want to keep the circle small." The fewer people knew about her mental state, the better. She didn't like confrontation.

    Ceasar patted her shoulder and rejoined Hippo team. Miho was sitting alone again. As she watched her friends at the various stations, she smiled as her team bonded over the different activities. But inside, she questioned herself:

    'I have the love and support of my team. So, why do I feel all alone?'
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building - Rirko's Office -Monday Morning

    Pravda's match was only a few days away. The Winter Festival was nearer still. Rirko waited for Miho, as always, and felt nervous. Even though they reconciled with one another, would she still feel comfortable in sharing her secrets with her?

    'Will she show? I hope she shows. She'll be here.' 7:25 rolled up. He kept himself occupied by reading his mail. There was one that caught his eye:
    Subject: Workshop

    Mr Nagasawa. We are extending an invitation to all counsellors involved in the Sensha-do program to participate as speakers regarding emotional distress in children. This mental health workshop will be held one week from now. The venue is to be announced. As you are a part of a foreign teacher program involving counselling youth, we feel that the participants will benefit from insights into western cultural norms surrounding the stigma of mental health. We look forward to your response and hope that you'll be able to attend.

    Sincerely,

    Mental Health Japan Initiative (M.H.J.I)
    Crossing his arms, he thought about the prospect. 'I can learn something new, especially if this workshop is going to be about an exchange of information from other people. Hell, it might give me ideas on what to do to improve the situation here.'

    Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 7:30 am, once again. 'Looks like I'm going to have to do this later.' "Come in!" Entering the room, Miho greeted him.

    "Good morning, Mr Nagasawa. I hope you've been well."

    "Hello, Miho." As he greeted her, he gave a short yawn. "Happy Monday."

    "Are you alright? You seemed tired."

    "Yeah well…all work and more work make this man a tired one."

    "I'm sorry to hear that…"

    Rirko realised he was insensitive. Maybe, sarcasm was not the best tool to use?

    "Sorry Miho, I'm just overworked is all. But, I'm here to listen to you, not the other way around. Please, take a seat."

    Miho and Rirko sat at their respective positions.

    "So. What's new with you?"

    "Well," Miho began. "The team had a festival day?"

    Rirko was curious. The team did mention something about a festival day after practice one-day last week. "Really? Do tell."

    "The entire team was there. We did a lot of activities with each other followed by a wonderful lunch made by Saori. It was great!"

    'Funny. I hear the enthusiasm, but I don't see it.' To Rirko, it had looked like Miho was forcing herself to be cheerful.

    "Sounds good! But?"

    "Eh?"

    "But?"

    Miho was confused. "But what?"

    "But, there was something wrong? Something missing?"

    Miho wore a pained expression. 'Knew it.' After a minute of silence, she asked him. "How do you know?"

    "What you're saying, and what I see are contradicting each other. You say that you had a great time but when I see you…you seemed distressed. You're tensed up as if you want to get something off your chest."

    He was right. Miho did want to talk to Rirko about something. "One of the vice commanders, Caesar of the Hippo Team?"

    "Yes?"

    "Well, I think she kinda knows what's happening?"

    Someone else knows? That's not good. "What did she say?"

    "She asked if anything was wrong. When I answered her about me dealing with personal issues, she said I had the support of the entire team."

    Miho then noticed that Rirko was wide-eyed. "What?"

    "You told someone else, other than your friends, that you are dealing with personal issues?"

    "…yes?"

    "And all on your own, without anyone else telling you?"

    "I…guess. Yes?"

    Miho didn't know this, but this was a breakthrough. During the time he had known her, Miho had always kept things to herself, especially her personal health. But her telling someone else that she was dealing with a lot of crap on her own meant that she was willing to let some people know what was going on.

    "Uh, we'll talk more on that later." She has to realise that she's growing in self-advocacy, this is good. Good. "Go on." Rirko reached for his cup of coffee, to wake himself up.

    "I was alone, while my friends were helping with the other activities."

    "Where were you?"

    "I was...at the café. Sitting."

    Funny. You think she'd like to get involved in that. "Did you want to do an activity station?"

    Miho looked down. She nodded her head.

    "How come you didn't say anything?"

    "… they had enough people."

    Bullshit. "I'm sure that they would love your help if you offered it."

    "Well...uh...I'm not...really good of offering."

    Rirko was confused with this statement. "Tell me more. What does that mean?"

    "If someone asks for my help, I can do it. But I don't usually offer my help when it's someone else's thing."

    He understood. She was a reactive helper. She would only help if someone asked her. If no one asked her, then she wouldn't do anything. Using this logic, would that extend to inviting to participate in activities as well?

    "So, what's stopping you from asking?"

    "N-Nothing is stopping me. I can help, they just didn't ask me."

    "But would you had helped?"

    "Yes?"

    Both were silent for a moment. He wanted Miho to process her words, but by the looks of it, she was still confused. He would have to do a little bit more prodding. "So, this goes back to my question. How come you didn't say anything? I believe they would be more than willing to accept your help."

    She was quiet for the question. It was during this time Miho remembered another situation.

    It was when they were all starting Sensha-do last year, and they were trying to find tanks. When Hana and Saori elected to go to the forest, Yukari was right behind them. Miho noticed this, and she moved ahead with Yukari following. Yukari wanted to be part of the group, but it took Miho to ask her that she fully joined.

    After reflecting on the question, Miho replied. "No one gave me a chance."

    Rirko felt he understood the situation a bit more. It's not the fact that she didn't want to help. She did. She was afraid of the fact…what happened if they said no. The rejection was the problem. How would she handle the rejection?

    "Miho. Are you concerned about the fact they might say 'no'?" She didn't say anything. Rirko knew that must have been the case. The statement, 'no one gave me a chance,' meant that she was probably waiting for some to come to her…but they didn't.

    Rirko sighed. "Okay…if you ask if they needed help, what is the worst they can do to you?"

    She had never considered that before. Miho thought about if she asked, then they would say that they didn't need her. But, literally speaking…

    "The worst thing they could do…is say no."

    "Will you be lit on fire?"

    "No?"

    "Will thunder strike you?"

    "No."

    "Will they discontinue selling Boko bears?" Rirko smiled at this.

    She giggled, "No. They wouldn't."

    "My point is that those words in that context don't mean anything except, no not at this time. It doesn't mean anything else."

    It didn't mean they would need her help ever. It just means not at this time. The misconception of full-on rejection was what was preventing her from offering assistance. She was used to being told what to do. She didn't do anything else until instructed to."

    Miho paused for a minute, to digest this revelation. "If I offered my help…would they get mad at me?"

    What the hell question is that? "What do you mean, Miho?"

    It looked like Miho was a bit apprehensive to talk to him for a moment. But she did. "If I offered help…would they yell or scream at me about how it was wrong?"

    He was genuinely perplexed on what she was saying. "I don't get it. Did this happen to you?"

    "Yes…at Kuromorimine."

    "Oh…ohhhhhh." He just got it.

    There was a post online about how former army recruits were telling about basic training stories. Although a variety of them hailed from different places, the theme remained the same. Drill Sergeants, or their equivalents, did the yelling and screaming bits not out of malice. It was when a soldier is dealing with a conflict and shells are raining down, no one could hear a thing if you are talking regularly. On the battlefield, it was necessary to scream to be understood. Further, they wanted their training to kick in and not their basic instincts. To be in a middle of armed conflict was like have someone yelling and screaming at you with emotions high. To handle combat stress.

    He remembered that Kuromorimine was military structured. She must have tried to offer help to a superior, in front of everyone else. Doing so would undermine the superior's authority. So...

    Rirko had a hint of sadness in his voice. "Miho, we're in Oarai Girl's Academy. Not the army. You've been living here for a year; you should know that by now."

    You only do things when you were told to do. Anything other than that would-be insubordination. It was no wonder Miho was apprehensive in offering help.

    "I…" Miho gave a deep sigh. "I guess old habits, die hard?"

    "That may be true. But in Oarai the worst they can do is say no. Was there… um, never mind."

    She was curious. What was Rirko going to say? "What?"

    "No, no, it's insensitive never mind."

    "I don't mind. Please?"

    Miho's begging eyes unnerved him. Rirko relented. "Did the officers of that school…'smoked.' you?"

    "Eh? What does that mean."

    "Oh. Yelling, screaming in both ears, slapping recruits with covers, intense training…"

    "I get what you're saying. But yeah, there was a lot of yelling. Especially when you do something wrong…in front of others."

    Kuromorimine was probably akin to some of the junior military programs, perhaps heavily inspired from other private western military schools, which would be a possibility. Miho was now among friends. She wasn't in a war zone nor was she bound to any military standard. Making mistakes was okay. Being herself was okay. But for her, what does being yourself mean?

    Rirko decided to take the conversation in another direction. "How do we grow?"

    A profound question is requiring thought. "By learning things?"

    "And how do we learn?"

    "Books, instruction, other people, past experiences…"

    "Anything else?"

    She paused for a moment to think. "No. Am I missing something?"

    "Well, you touched on it when you mentioned past experiences. What could that something be?" After a minute, she shrugged.

    "Your style revolves around it. Trial and error. Making mistakes."

    A wide-eyed Miho was surprised. Making mistakes? "Isn't that a bad thing?"

    "It's how you look at it. What works and what doesn't. Learning what you did wrong to change your approach in the future. I like to think that each of us is a work in progress. We don't know what kind of person we'll be until the twilight of our lives. But know, it is not only in success where a person's character is revealed but also in failure."

    He was encouraging her to be imperfect. To grow as an individual and to gain a sense of identity. Her identity was chosen for her by her mother. Now, she had an opportunity to shape it herself. A daunting task, especially for someone who has been told what to do all the time. It wasn't going to be easy.

    It was five minutes before the start of class, and already the students started to pour in.

    "Ah, look at the time! You better get going!"

    "R-right." She gave a quick bow, grabbed her bags and ran right into the door. She fell backwards.

    "Be sure to open the door…" Miho laughed a little, opened the door and left.

    Rirko couldn't help but facepalm after that.

    'She was afraid of being yelled at just for offering to help. If military life is any indication, its some intense shit. If she were 16, then she would have been in a junior military program. But Kuromorimine…would the standard be the same as US Basic? Or worse?'

    Not being a complete military nut, he could only speculate, not accurately confirm.

    Was she that wholly lost that she couldn't think about what to do when no one asked for her help? A creative mind would have surely found something else to do while waiting. In Miho's case, she was like a computer. Waiting for instruction before carrying out the task. She had only been in Oarai for one year. Did she not realise that she had complete freedom to do whatever she wished?

    Or was it that very fact that scared her so much she was unwilling to come out of her shell?
    Oarai Girl's Academy - Sensha-do Training Grounds – Afternoon

    As everyone was gathering around the shed, whispers filled the air:

    "She's been dealing with issues? What kind of issues?"

    "I don't know I didn't hear."

    "Well, it had to be serious if she had to take a day off. She never does that."

    "We have to help her. Anyway, we can."

    "But I think this thing should have been private though."

    "Was it spoken in confidence? I don't know."

    Anglerfish started to become nervous.

    "Someone told about Miporin's condition?"

    "Was it Mr. Nagasawa?" Yukari asked.

    Hana shook her head. "No, they don't know what the condition is."

    "So, it's a rumour then?" pepped Mako.

    "Maybe…but who started it?"

    At a distance, while Anglerfish was talking, Ceasar looked increasingly guilty. It was spoken in confidence, but she told Hippo. Aya happened to eavesdrop and said the rest of Rabbit who, like rabbits do, spread the news around.

    "Stupid Aya. Why didn't I notice her?" She felt horrible for the news to get this far.

    "Don't sweat it," Erwin tried to comfort her friend. "What done is done."

    "Yeah, but Miho told me that stuff in private. I wanted you, girls, to know too so we can help her. But then stupid Aya…"

    "As Erwin said, don't sweat it. It happened, and it's time to move on." Saemonza gazed upon the assembled crowd. She spotted Miho coming from the distance. "Our shogun approaches!" Hippo made their way to the others.

    Ceasar's heart raced. 'Miho, I'm sorry I didn't know someone was listening.' As Hippo passed Rabbit, Ceasar shot a glare to the entire group. Rabbit drooped their heads a little, perhaps ashamed of what they had done?

    Miho addressed the crowd. "As the match with Pravda is this week, I need you all to double your efforts. We can do this! A lot has changed since we faced them last year. But that means, so did they. The team commanders have given you your roles in the strategy. Do your best in memorising what part you'll play."

    As she spoke, the team was reinvigorated with a chance of showing off their skills again. No longer the team that would fall for faints and ambushes, they had a lot more to offer in their arsenal.

    "Any questions?" Risa raised her hand.

    "Yes, Risa?"

    Risa was hesitant for a moment. "Nishizumi-sempai. At the risk of being rude…is everything okay with you?" There were some audible gasps. Risa asked the question no one dared to ask. The entire team was so silent that you could hear the wind blow.

    Miho, for a moment, was like a deer caught in headlights. 'She asked me that question?! In front of everyone?!' For the moment, she felt pure rage. How did she know? What could she do? If she answered, then everyone would know somewhat how she felt. If not, they would undoubtedly probe her more. Trapped, she only had mere seconds to decide.

    In the end, they would have found out anyway. If not today, maybe tomorrow, maybe a month from now. If the issue was not addressed, would the team spend their time wondering what has happened to their team commander? Would it affect performance? Would they, because of her, deteriorate in skills out of worry for her?

    For the good of the team, once again, she couldn't let that happen.

    After a moment of silence, she took a deep breath. "As you well know, I've been doing a couple of things that I never used to do before last year." She took a brief pause. Her voice was a bit shaky. "That's because I've been…dealing with stress. Don't worry, though. I've taken steps to solve the problem, but it has affected my performance as you well know. I'm getting help, and I understand if you girls are all upset for me not telling you soon. So please… please bear with me…" As she said this, she gave a bow. She wanted to take responsibility for her behaviour. Miho felt that as a commander, she failed to live up to the standard.

    The entire shed was filled with an uproar. All shouted support for her, and suddenly all clapped. They didn't want her to apologise. They just wanted her to be okay. Apparently, the duties of a team commander were not natural, and none could ever imagine overseeing an entire team. Miho stared into the crowd, towards her team and to her teachers near the watchtower. She just wanted to get away, far away. Leaving the sheds, she went to gather herself.

    See her run off concerned them. But the standing orders were not to worry. The team commanders ordered their teams to begin practice for the Pravda strategy.
    At the bottom of the watchtower, Rirko had his jaw dropped.

    "Wow, she told them. Didn't expect that." She was expecting a response, but silence greeted her. Rirko was a torrent of emotion.

    'Holy f******g shit. I can't believe that just happened.'

    "You okay?"

    "Huh? Yeah…yeah. I just…wow."

    "I think that question was on everyone's mind. Risa dared to ask it."

    "Yeah, but that put Miho on the spot. I'm just concerned how Miho is feeling. Where did she go, anyway?"

    Ami pointed towards the forest. Probably near the outdoor classroom area. There's a stream there. Beautiful place to be by yourself."

    "Right." As he said this, he noticed Anglerfish heading towards them. He pointed to the stream. It took them a minute before they headed in that direction.

    "You think she'll be receptive to her friends? Maybe she just wants to be alone."

    "No. I think having them will be beneficial for her. To show she is not alone."

    The two watched on as Anglerfish headed towards the stream.
    "Risa, what the hell!" Maki wanted an explanation. She had put Miho on the spot, forcing her to explain herself.

    "I needed to know, everyone needed to know!" Risa justified herself. "If this rumour kept being a rumour, then we wouldn't be able to focus on the match ahead. That would mean trouble for the team. We needed confirmation from Nishizumi-Sempai."

    "Yeah, but in front of everyone?!"

    "If not now, then when?! Would you have done it? Would anyone had done it?!"

    Both Yumi and Maki considered her words. They needed to hear it from Miho about what was happening. People would spend their time wondering rather than focusing on their training."

    Maki didn't like it. But she understood. "Fine. But I still think that Nishizumi-Sempai was blindsided. Maybe you should have done it subtler?"

    Crossing her arms, Risa replied. "Whatever. I'll talk to her later if it makes you happy. But everyone had a right to know."

    Yumi didn't know what to say. She just listened to the both of them and was surprised. They just argued, and they were still on speaking terms.
    Training was busy for the most part. As Miho said, the team commanders gave each of their teams a task in completing part of the strategy. However, there were a few hiccups. Some teams didn't reach the proper velocity in time while other teams' accuracy was sacrificed for speed. The run and gun technique was a hard one to master.

    At one point, Hippo confronted Rabbit about Aya's eavesdropping. Things got heated.

    "That stuff was said in private. Miho didn't want anyone knowing. But you all had a hand in spreading it around!" Caesar was livid. She couldn't believe that one of the Sensha-do teams would do something like this.

    Oryo put her hand on Caesar's shoulder. "I know you're upset. But look." Rabbit was looking way down. "Don't you think they already feel bad about it?"

    "Why did you do it anyway?" Erwin wondered that ever since she found out about the eavesdropping. Rabbit team looked at Aya. Her eyes welled with tears.

    "I... I only wanted to help...Nishizumi-Sempai. If everyone knew something was wrong...then we could all cheer her up." Caesar's anger immediately subsided to regret. She had jumped the gun and assumed that Rabbit was spreading malicious rumours to discredit Miho. That wasn't the case.

    "So, you girls only wanted to help?" Rabbit nodded followed with some murmurs of agreement.

    Saemonza sighed. "Way to go, Caesar."

    "Shut up!" She already felt horrible for the misunderstanding. "I'm sorry for yelling. I thought you guys were doing something stupid. Now, I know the reason why."

    Aya felt terrible about betraying Caesar's trust, especially how they got along swimmingly during the festival last weekend. "I shouldn't have heard it. Even still, I should have told you about it."

    Erwin wanted to end this entire thing. "As I said, what's done is done. Can we move on now?"
    Anglerfish made their way to the stream. When they reached it, they found Miho sitting on a rock. She was in the fetal position again.

    "Miho?" Hana called her as they approached. She didn't respond.

    "Miss Nishizumi."

    Miho poked her head up. Her eyes were red, so it is evident that she had been crying. Sniffling a little, she sat down properly. "Everyone knows now. Everyone knows."

    "That's not true, Miporin. They only know that you're dealing with stress. They don't know about your true feelings or anything-"

    "They're going to find out eventually! Then what am I going to do?!" Miho was fighting back the tears. As a commander, she held high standards for herself. A commander had to put on a brave face to lead the troops, to be the role model of the perfect soldier, and to command respect when needed. By showing such emotions in front of everyone, Miho thought she failed spectacularly.

    Hana sat beside Miho. "What do you mean?"

    "If I can't control myself in here, how can I control myself out there?!" She referred to the torrent of emotion that she felt each day. "Who would want to follow someone if they don't even have their head on stra-"

    "Stop," Hana told Miho in a firm tone. She had a serious look and knew that Miho was overreacting. "Just...stop."

    And Miho did stop. She stopped and listened to the sounds of the streams and the chirping of the birds. She felt a crisp breeze coming in as they approach the island. She looked around her surroundings. Every time Miho was at a breaking point, her friends were always there for her. She felt at peace. This time was no different.

    Miho stared blankly into the distance and realised how she was behaving. "What am I doing?"

    She never used to worry about what other people thought about her. Everyone appreciated her efforts. Hana gave a gentle smile. "Exactly. Do your best. That's what anyone can ask you to do."

    Miho had always been hard on herself. If she couldn't do something, then she believed she failed. She had won the respect of the team long ago and had to work to have the team confident in their abilities. Now, she had to work on her confidence.

    "Everyone makes mistakes. When that happens, don't spend even a minute on it. Just learn and move on." Mako's insightful words reminded Miho what Rirko said:

    "It is not only in success where a person's character is revealed but also in failure."​

    Maybe she was stressed out with all her emotional problems that she let her emotions run wild. She always had able to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself. But now, it seemed she couldn't keep it together. Not only because of unknown circumstances. But because everyone was encouraging her to express herself more.

    "Thanks, girls. I just want to be alone for a minute." She looked depressed and exhausted. Anglerfish respected her decision and stood a fair distance away from her. As they looked on, she thought about what transpired. The secret of her issues would have come to light regardless of if Risa said anything or not. Maybe it was for the best?

    Her gut feeling said to keep everything to herself. Everyone wanted her to share. Although the support was touching, it was at times suffocating. She compared herself from last year to this year. She was confident, perceptive, flexible, approachable. She was still these things. But then, she started to think about her family and what had happened to her.

    How she was punished when doing the right thing. How she was rejected by her only family and sent away as a disgrace. Many emotions wanted to surface, but she kept the thought of her team needed her in the forefront. They counted on her to lead them effectively and to hold them together when things got rough. She had a job to do.

    'Mako is right. I can't think about this for too long. The team needs me.' This sense of responsibility pushed her forward from her self-pity. Anglerfish liked what they saw and smiled. It wasn't the look of a depressed, defeated person. It was the look of fiery determination.
    Oarai's Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Evening

    It was a long day. Ami had to leave early to set up everything for the match against Pravda. As she left, there was an air of anticipation. Later on, in the evening, he texted her:

    "Hi, happy."

    There was an immediate response. "Sup."

    "How did things go?"

    "Good. Everything is set for the match. We'll be fighting in winter conditions like last time."

    "Winter conditions?"

    "Yeah. Forecast says that there's going to be a squall coming in on Noto Island, remember?"

    Rirko remembered that they were headed to a region in Japan that called for snow. "Should be fun."

    "Yeah, for them. Our girls haven't gotten much exposure in the snow since the last time we fought them."

    "The terrain will be hell, to be sure."

    "Yeah."

    "I want to ask you something."

    "No, we can't date."
    "Wow, alright. Cool." Although he had no intention of asking Ami out, it still hurt.

    "JK. Serious, what is it."

    "The training style of Kuromormine."

    "What about?"

    "Is it as intense as the army?"

    There was a pause in the conversation. "It's not as intense, but then again our officers simulated combat stress often every week when I was in the Sensha-do team."

    "So, in short, they were smoked."

    "Smoked?"

    Rirko sighed. He used different terminology again. "Yelling, screaming…"

    "Oh, that stuff. Only on the team. The logic there is given any situation, the girls would be able to follow orders without freaking out."

    The logic of combat stress. So, given that information:

    "Would Miho have had to undergo the same conditioning?"

    "… yes. Maybe even worse."

    Even worse? "How much worse?"
    "I only heard it from a contact from the school. But it seems Shiho hired 'special help' from overseeing the training for Miho and Maho."

    This couldn't be good. "Can you elaborate?"

    "The Nishizumi have contacts that are not limited to Sensha-do. They have military contacts not only in the Japan Self Defense Force but also in the US army."

    "What does that mean?"

    "It means that this 'special help' could have been an army instructor."

    Rirko thought for a moment. Kuromorimine was military structured, yes. By what extent, however, did they simulate combat stress? The most logical way to affect combat stress would be yelling and screaming at them, a lot. So, did she get people to yell and scream at high schoolers all day?

    "Army instructor?"

    "It's not unheard of former military personnel take on private jobs once they leave the service. Shiho had to get someone that had experience in breaking down people to build them up again."

    "But they're high-schoolers Ami! Sensha-do's a sport. Volunteerism…"

    "Doesn't exist in Kuromorimine. So long as you show promise and skill. Once the headmistress taps you, you must be on the team. Otherwise, there will be hell to pay."
    "Example?"

    "There was one girl that said no about a week in. She could deal with the stress. A few days later, she left. Didn't know why."

    Possibly abusing her authority, hiring former military to break down high-schoolers in a sport? When would it be enough?

    "So, in review. Shiho must have gotten an army instructor to simulate combat stress on Miho and Maho?"

    "And possibly train the Kuromirmine officers as well in how to act, as well."

    "Well…shit."

    "There's no price Shiho is not willing to pay. I should know." Ami should know. Shiho taught her personally. So, it would stand to reason that Ami sometimes had the shorter end of the stick…and survived.

    "How serious is this, Rirko?"

    "Considering how they deal with combat stress, they had to trade off some things to be at that level of command. Socially and emotionally they are screwed up. But with a mind of a strategist and willpower, they became the perfect soldier."

    "But we're not at war."

    "Tell that to the lady who hired the military's best."

    It was getting late. Ami and Rirko left with the speculations of high expectations at a young age, decided to call it a night.

    "I got a lot to think about thanks to you. If your guess is right, it would explain a few things."

    "Sorry."

    "We don't know until we get evidence. For now, it sounds like a theory."

    "But it is certainly plausible."

    "I'll let you go. See you tomorrow? We'll be heading to Pravda in the morning. 6:30 am departure at the school. Don't be late."

    "Right."

    Ending the conversation, Rirko remembered the expectations that some parents put on their children. To show all their dominion. At the cost of the child's happiness and well-being, parents would reap the rewards. Praise, recognition, respect. Some parents would be glad to have that all.

    In the end, how much did it come back to bite them?
    Uploader's Note: Second part will be posted soon. Please wait warmly.
     
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    • A Trusted Aide (Part II)
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    • Uploader's Note: Here is the second part of the chapter. Enjoy!

    I do not own the fanfic and its OCs nor Girls und Panzer. Credit goes solely to their respective owners.
    Oarai Girl's Academy – Outside of the Main Building – Early Morning

    It may have been early in the day. But it was complete chaos.

    As Pravda High School extended an invitation to the entire school to attend their Winter Festival, buses were packed full of high school girls to transfer over. The sounds of girls were chatting, laughing, and anticipating filled the early morning air. The Sensha-do team were mixed in with their homeroom class. Rirko rode with Ami and Anglerfish's homeroom class.

    The drive to Pravda was uneventful. Both carrier ships docked at the port, in preparation for the coming match. The Winter Festival itself would be held in a town called Notojima, near the battle zone. It was here that Pravda rented the space from Notojima for three days. Pravda students would run the shops and activities for people who showed up. As the buses of Oarai neared the town, the buses filled with excitement; Anglerfish included.

    When they arrived, the students assembled upon an open field. The student council headed out towards the front of everyone.

    "All right, listen up!" Anzu may have been small, but did she have a loud voice. "Pravda's been kind enough to invite us to this festival. So, it's important that we are on our best behaviour. That means, no stupid stuff."

    "Any student who causes trouble for Pravda High School will be escorted immediately back to the carrier ship, and subject to a disciplinary review." A threat coming from Momo had to be heeded. Everyone knew that.

    It was Yuzu's turn to speak up. "Remember, we'll be staying at a hotel in the centre of town. Curfew is 9:00 pm. Everyone, enjoy yourself! Sensha-do team, please gather here for a short announcement."

    The students dispersed. The Sensha-do team made their way to Turtle with Ami and Rirko in tow.

    "Pravda's team has asked us to meet with us. For Oarai and Pravda to maintain a healthy relationship, we're asking you all to be a part of a meet and greet. We'll meet in the centre square in one hour."

    Miho and the rest of Anglerfish were bummed that they would have to do work in an hour. But at least they could take in the sights and sounds of the town. There were some murmurs of dissatisfaction, but they all complied all the same. Rirko started to head towards the city.

    "I'm going to make my way to the town centre. What about you?"

    Ami waved a little. "I'm going to see if I can find some of my contacts from the Federation. They said they would be here around this time."

    "Okay. Just be at the centre on time."

    "When was the last time I was late?" Ami said with a grin. Rirko thought and realised that she wasn't late for anything yet. "Yeah, good talk."

    Whatever. "Good point. See you around." Everyone headed in multiple directions. In one hour, they would meet up again anyway.
    Notojima - Town Center – Morning

    Rirko was the first one at the town centre. A big fountain, surrounded by mosaic titles was dead centre. For the most part, the town looked like a piece of traditional Japanese buildings and Russian architecture. Undoubtedly, the Russian design was added on by Pravda. Stalls surrounded the outside of the centre, displaying wares and boasting fun activities. Yes, it was a festival all right.

    He stopped by a Fancy Shop to buy a mini Boko bear. It just pleaded to be purchased from the windowsill. He had little choice.

    "Wonder if the team is going to find the place alright. Well, it is the only town centre. Better wait." Rirko sat on the edge of the fountain and watched how the people went by. There were indeed a lot of people in such a small town. But something about how the people moved made him happy.

    "Excuse me, sir?"

    "Hmm?" His silence was interrupted by the arrival of a pair of two girls. One tall brunette, with piercing eyes wearing what seems to be a uniform. And one child with brown hair, wearing the same dress. She looked down on the ground as if avoiding eye contact.

    "We saw you at a distance with the Oarai team. Can we assume that you are one of the faculty?" She spoke with a Russian accent, which was somewhat cumbersome.

    "Yes, I am." Rirko dusted himself off as he stood up.

    "I was wondering if the Sensha-do from Oarai will be arriving soon. It's already past the meeting time."

    He looked at his watch. "Funny, I thought the meeting time was one hour from now."

    "What? There must be a mistake…" She looked at her phone, then her watch, then her phone again. "Ah. It seems my watch is running an hour ahead."

    For a split second, Rirko thought the little girl twitched her eye.

    "Better be early than late. I'm Rirko, by the way. Student counsellor."

    The brunette introduced herself. "I am Katyusha, Pravda's Sensha-do commander. This is Nonna, my sister." The little girl still avoided eye contact.

    "Katyusha…" At that moment, Rirko felt something wrong with that statement. Ami had said Katyusha was arrogant and prideful. Here, she was friendly. A bit too friendly. Perhaps a little probing was in order…

    "I was most impressed with last years match between Pravda and Oarai. You almost succeeded."

    "You're too kind, sir."

    "However, some sticking points stood out for me. If I may…"

    "Of course. We have the time." The little girl's head perked up.

    "For example. What made you decide to give out surrender conditions, rather than going in for the kill?"

    "It…was sporting. Oarai lacked the numeric superiority that we had. It wouldn't have been fair."

    "Did you know that one of your opponents was a Nishizumi?"

    "Yes…I was told several times." The little girl griped on the brunette's hand.

    "Of course, you would have been prepared because of that fact. However, I did find it odd that you gave them an opportunity to retaliate by giving then ample time to plan a counterstrike and ambush your left flank."

    "Once again, I felt that…my respected enemy should have an opportunity to fight back with everything… So, I can crush them with everything."

    "Hmm…finally, how the match ended." Rirko could see the little girl shake a little.

    "I couldn't help but wonder if you either were foolish enough to allow your flag tank to run into an ambush or you thought your enemy was stupid enough that they wouldn't counterattack?"

    Both were silent at the question. The girl's body began to shake visibly.

    "You know, trying to win the battle wasn't your biggest mistake. Your biggest mistake, in my opinion, was thinking you had the capacity or skill to do so. You, who was so blinded by your ineptitude."

    The blonde girl let out a big sigh. That was it. The little girl's non-verbal's and the brunette's truancy of events confirmed the lie.

    The brunette's recollection of events was stalled. She was thinking about her answers carefully. Her reasoning about surrendering due to arrogance could have been true. However, missing the detail of which flank Oarai broke (it was the right flank, not left) and her calm disposition when questioning her skill were all red flags. The little girl's increasing actions to the point of exasperation were also red flags.

    Rirko shook his head. "Well, this was a fun, little distraction. But it is unfortunate that the two of you were trying to deceive me…"

    "I don't under-"

    "Spare me the stupid act. You're not Katyusha, are you?" He pointed to the little girl. "She is." The three were silent for a moment. The busy crowds were moving around in the background and the lights shining against the water's edge.

    Finally, the brunette spoke. "Da. It looks he saw through your ruse. He's more perceptive than I thought."

    So, it was revealed: Katyusha was Nonna, and Nonna was Katyusha.

    Katyusha remained silent. This unnerved Nonna. "Katyusha, what's wrong? You are uncharacteristically quiet."

    Katyusha had always been self-conscious about her appearance. Especially, when it was regarding height. Her bravado and disrespect of the other teams were only to hide the insecurities and doubts of a little girl playing in a high intense game like Sensha-do. She was treated like a child by others because not only her looks, but also the way she acted. But deep down, for Katyusha, all she wanted was respect befitting her station.

    "Do you respect your elders, Nonna? Does she?"

    "Yes. It's one of the fundamental rules of Pravda. To always respect your superiors."

    "And that's the reason why. She can go off on other Sensha-do teams because you are all nearly in the same age group. But, when addressing someone else, especially a faculty from another school, starting conflicts can be problematic wouldn't it? Not only that, disrespectful."

    Rirko sympathised with her. As the commander of a Sensha-do team, respect was paramount from both subordinates and rivals. All she wanted was respect and attention. Or was it something more?

    He got down on one knee. Katyusha wasn't even looking at him. "So, this is Pravda's commander, huh. A skilled strategist who captivating voice won many battles for her team. Funny, I expected…"

    This was it. Closing her eyes and gripping on Nonna's hand tightly, Katyusha braced for a tirade of mockery.

    "…you to be more confident."

    "Huh?!" This surprised Katyusha. "What do you mean? Aren't you going to make fun of Katyusha?"

    "Make fun of you? For what? I don't see anything wrong, do you?"

    "N-No. I don't…" She looked up to Nonna, who looked equally confused. In her eyes, she was expecting the same thing and was about to jump at Rirko at a moment's notice.

    "Let me get this straight. You know the art of Sensha-do like the back of your hand. You're a charismatic leader, a shrewd strategist and you're telling me you're self-conscious about your stature?"

    Katyusha stammered, not expecting these words. "I-I'm not self-conscious…"

    "Could have fooled me. Otherwise, why else go through an elaborate ruse just to throw me off on what you look like. Come on."

    All the adults she met thus far made the similar comments. "She's adorable," "she's so cute," "is she your Sensha-do captain?" She was expecting the same from him. That's why she went through the ruse. To spare herself the ridicule. However, Rirko seemed not to be like the others.

    "What do people say? The mind shall conquer the sword? And last time I checked, human brains are roughly the same physically and don't have faces, do they?"

    Now Katyusha was genuinely confused. Rirko sounded he wasn't lying. "You don't care…?"

    Rirko shrugged. "So long as you can do the job and be respectful about it, I don't care if you were even pint-sized. Does your team care what you look like?"

    Katyusha looked at Nonna. "They would die a million deaths if they said anything."

    "Okay… that's a bit…extreme. But, besides the point. You are the Sensha-do commander for Pravda's team. If the team doesn't have a problem, neither should you."

    Touched by Rirko's words, Katyusha had nothing else to say but. "Th…Than…"

    "What? Sorry, I didn't catch that."

    She sighed. "Thank you."

    "No problem. Here." Rirko held out the Boko bear he bought for himself. Katyusha looked at him and grabbed it. She gripped it in her hand. "A humble gift to the great Commander Katyusha! Let us hope you and your team can put on a good show for us."

    It was nearing the appointed time. Rirko decided to buy another doll with the little money he had on him before going to an ATM.

    "Ladies." Giving a quick bow, he left.

    He left the two girls at the town's fountain, unsure what to think about the situation.

    "Well, he…seemed nice." Nonna smiled a little.

    "Yeah."

    "Shall we wait for the others to arrive here then?"

    "Yeah…actually…" Katyusha thought about it. "Nonna, I want some hot chocolate!"

    "Of course, let's go find a café." Taking her hand, the two walked away.
    Notojima - Town Center –Noon

    The appointed time had come. Some of the girls from Oarai started to stream from all directions. Some had bags hanging from their arms. Rirko, with another small bear doll hidden in his pocket, tucked himself in a bench corner of the gym. Ami joined him.

    "Had fun waiting?" Ami asked. "You must have been bored out of your mind."

    "Not really. I met Katyusha, by the way."

    "Really?" Ami was surprised. "Was she as arrogant and conceited as I told you she'd be?"

    "Katyusha's behaviour in public means that she has a reputation to uphold. Yeah. She was a total douche."

    Ami nodded. "See. Even with grown-ups, she's a pain."

    "Right."

    Oarai's Sensha-do team was fully assembled. Soon, students of Pravda started to appear from a distance. Most spoke in Russian, as per their school culture. The students gathered right across them.

    Miho was mesmerised by the sights and sounds of the small town. It was how she pictured it. Lights, music, and the sounds of happy families.

    Her heart began to ache as she recalled the panic attack that happened only a few weeks ago. She was afraid that it was going to flare up again at any moment.

    "Miporin?" she turned to see Saori waving with the rest of Anglerfish. "Pravda's team is coming." Miho nodded and took her position at the team centre. Moments later, Katyusha and Nonna were coming from another part of the middle, holding coffee cups. As always, Katyusha was on Nonna's shoulders.

    "Mihoska!" Katyusha gleefully yelled. "Good to see you!"

    Miho gave a solemn bow. "It's good to see you too, Katyusha."

    "I'm glad you were able to come. I should be able to meet my vic-um, rival face-to-face before I crush them!" Everyone laughed nervously.

    Same old Katyusha. "Shall we get started then?"

    "Huh? Oh yes!" Katyusha took a breath and addressed everyone boastfully. "Thanks to my kind and generous heart, I thought it would be best if we got to know each other. For the spirit of sportsmanship and camaraderie. Girls! Get to know your rivals!"

    At once, Pravda's team immediately swarmed and started to talk to the Oarai teams. However, one of the girls held back.

    "Comrade Nina?! What are you doing?! Get over there!" The little Nina nodded and timidly walked over to Anglerfish. However, when she saw Yukari, her face changed from timid to anger.
    "I have nothing to say to you, Yukari Akiyama…"

    Yukari was surprised by the sudden burst of contempt, but then remembered. During the match between Pravda and Oarai, Yukari went undercover with some other students to obtain information about the Pravda's tanks. Nina was the one who Yukari talked to. Under the guise of being another comrade, Nina spilt everything about Pravda's unit, formation, and strategy.

    Yukari felt horrible of the deception. "I'm sorry Nina. But it was necessary…"

    "Thanks to you, I got in trouble with the commander…"

    "Again, I'm sorry. I had to."

    "Yes, yes, you had to win."

    "No…it was more than that." Yukari decided to share with Nina the reason why she deceived her. About how Oarai, at the time, was in danger of being shut down. It was going to be a lengthy explanation.
    "Well, Mihoska! I expect a perfect fight from you and your team tomorrow!"

    Miho laughed nervously. "Yes. We got better the last time we saw each other."

    "Really? Then you won't disappoint Katyusha!"

    Nonna took an interest in Rirko and Ami, sitting on the bench. Feigning ignorance, she asked Miho, "If I may ask, who is that with your Sensha-do instructor?"

    "Oh? That's Mr. Nagasawa, our student counsellor."

    "I see." The three glanced over towards the two. Katyusha's skin went pale.

    "The counsellor that was assigned to us…she's usually holed up in the administrative office. Can that be the same for yours?"

    Miho shook her head. "No. He helps the team!"

    Nonna was interested. "Really? How so?"

    "He's able to talk about the team's strengths and weaknesses and how we can address them. But he usually makes it my decision."

    "So, he doesn't order you."

    "No…he's always given me a choice." Miho then noticed Katyusha staring at Rirko silently. "Is there a problem, Katyusha? You seem quiet."

    "I-I'm fine! Just fine! I…I don't know why the Federation assigned a guy like him anyways! It's beyond me!"

    "Yeah, we didn't quite get it at first as well. But, over the last couple of months…he helped us a lot."

    "G-good. Glad to hear it."

    "I could introduce him to you if you want."

    "NO!" Katyusha yelled the response so loud, some of the other students look. "I mean…it won't be necessary."

    "Alright…" Miho couldn't understand why Katyusha had strong reservations about Rirko. Maybe because he was a guy?
    "I heard a big 'no' coming from that direction." Rirko and Ami looked at the three's direction. "Maybe they're arguing?"

    Rirko stared inquisitively. "Or maybe Katyusha has a problem with me?"

    "What makes you say that?"

    "Well, I don't know. She's looking in this direction."

    "Or maybe that's you being paranoid."

    "Hey, if a person is looking in this direction, it usually means interest, disgust or some other reason."

    "…yeah, you're paranoid."
    "That's it." Yukari finished up their conversation with Nina. Once a face of anger turned to sympathy.

    "I didn't realise something like that was happening in Oarai."

    "It was a bad situation. But we pulled through."

    "Yes." The bad blood between the two had disappeared. "I'm glad I was able to speak to you about this."

    "Can we start over Nina? I'd like to get to know you better."

    "Hmm…" Nina stretched out her hand.

    "I guess that's a yes." Yukari giggled, and she took the handshake.
    For the next hour or so, both teams mingled with each other. They got to know each other's strengths, weaknesses, interests, and different assortments of topics. At the end of it, both teams assembled once again in their respective teams.

    "We'll be dismissing from here. I want everyone to enjoy the Winter Festival!" Katyusha yelled. "Thank my benevolent heart for giving you all an opportunity!"

    "Thank you, Commander!" The Pravda team yelled in unison. They all dispersed into the surrounding stalls, enjoying the sights.

    Momo stepped up to do the same. "Oarai's Sensha-do's team is dismissed as well. Be sure to be mindful of the curfew and where we're staying. More instructions are to follow back at the hotel." In the same manner, the team went their way.

    "Mihoska, wait!" Katyusha yelled to Anglerfish as they were about the leave.

    "What's up Katyusha?"

    "Listen, there's a Commander's dinner this evening. I want you and your second to be there."

    "Commander's dinner?"

    "Yeah, the others will be coming."

    'Others?!' The Sensha-do commanders from the other schools would be getting together? This evening? And more importantly, would her sister be there?

    Yukari was interested in the event. "How is this possible?"

    "We extended invitations for all the schools to attend the event," Nonna explained. "However, due to time constraints and the present venue, each school elected to send a representative. That representative would be the Sensha-do Captain and their auxiliaries."

    "We'll be having the dinner at the Notojima Golf and Country Club, private room. You'll be there, won't you Mihoska?" Katyusha looked at Miho with a piercing glare.

    "What about the match?" asked Yukari.

    "The dinner won't be long," Nonna explained. "Maybe a few hours. The captains wanted to do something like this for a while."

    'If everyone wanted to do this…' Miho sighed. "I'll see you, I guess."

    "Great! Be there for 5:30! I'll have someone meet you at your hotel!" Katyusha waved, riding on Nonna's shoulders.

    Yukari couldn't help but be concerned for Miho. "Miss Nishizumi, you know you don't have to do this."

    She was right. She didn't. However, a chance to reconcile with her sister, as well as see everyone else would be helpful. "We'll go. For Katyusha's sake. Despite her asking, it looked like she wanted me to go."

    As Nonna and Katyusha passed by Rirko and Ami, Katyusha looked like she gave a slight bow of her head and kept looking forward.

    Ami couldn't help but notice the gesture. "What was that all about?"

    "Maybe she's playing duck, duck goose with imaginary people." Rirko wanted to keep Katyusha's reputation as a jerk intact.

    "Well. I'm going to do a little more exploring in this city. My Federation contacts haven't arrived yet. Although, they did say that they would be here in the evening."

    "Don't get lost." Jabbed Rirko.

    "I'll just ask you for directions if I do." Both stared at each other before breaking out in laughter. "Let me know if you need anything."

    "And you the same." As Ami waved goodbye, Rirko was getting hungry. "Way past lunch. Maybe I'll try some Russian borscht."

    Rirko could find a place near the town centre. For the Winter Festival, the restaurant was having a special on Russian borscht. It also looked like it was being run by Pravda's students.

    He didn't want to deal with hearing the lights and sounds of the city. "Hey kid, you wanna make an extra 2000 yen?"

    He got himself a private room in the restaurant, near the back. After tipping the waitress and order, he sat there and closed his eyes. Folding his hands together, he tried to forget the busy day he already had.

    "Excuse me, may I join you?"

    Rirko looked up, and his eyes widened. 'Motherf-'
    A/N: Cliffhanger, I know. I hope the flow of the story was consistant. Thank you all for reading and writing in with your suggestions and corrections. They really help a ton.
     
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