I don't see any problem with this story. Taylor's powers are a little on the bullshit side, but that's just their nature. There are fics way worse about that, and Fencer's handling this one pretty well. It's NOT a bad story, y'all just have some weird hangups.
 
I don't see any problem with this story. Taylor's powers are a little on the bullshit side, but that's just their nature. There are fics way worse about that, and Fencer's handling this one pretty well. It's NOT a bad story, y'all just have some weird hangups.

I also don't see an issue, and power, while strong, also creates a very important conflict in a way that she may become too valuable to be simply ignored, while her end goal is to escape, and be ignored, which creates a very good social/political conflict here. And her strong power here ironically makes things that MUCH HARDER than easier if you look at it this way. Conflict doesn't need to be about raw power, but how you present it, which here is a very good example we have shown. Because yes, her being very strong is actually a problem here, when you simply want to be left alone.

If you want to include any sort of Endbringers or Scion as big, targeted bad guys, you need to literally have the power to handle them, as otherwise you simply can't stop them. Or deal with enough plot armor that you can bullshit your win pretty much (which is what happened in canon pretty much). Raw power needs to be absolutely ludicrous, hax must be strong, or you need to take advantage of their weaknesses.

In a way it's ironic that as long as you know Scion's weakness, and may communicate with him, it may be an ironically far easier fight (if you can call those easy in the first place) than those with Endbringers.

I'm also not a fan of Endbringer fights, but this one was just interesting and short enough to not feel like a drag to read, like many I read in the past.

Also if you don't want S9, the reason was already mentioned that Jack Slash avoids places that are too dangerous, or too well protected, which this Brockton Bay (even after Endbringer fight) should count. So yeah, he shouldn't bother here. And this Taylor is dangerous enough to be wary of her at least. Jack Slash acts like hot shit, but truth is that in case of any big danger, he avoids it like a coward, and hides behind his stronger parahuman meatshields. And honestly, this story is more about crime buildings, than big flashy fights.
 
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Meh, my only problem is that I don't like it when author's are blasé about mutilating their characters. If it doesn't have some form of plot relevance then I don't care for it. It's like saying hello to someone on the street and getting punched in the face for it. You've got a black eye, you're probably never going to see that person again, and there was no logical reason for why you because you just met them.

Flipping the author card, when it comes to story telling mutilating your characters can be cool and a really great set off point for character building. But you've mitigated that entirely by giving them a work around that probably won't come up as an issue unless their power can be nullified and they run into someone who can nullify powers. There honestly doesn't feel like there's a point to it other than for the 'blind badass' trope, which doesn't even work because they have eyes, just not fleshy ones. That said, do whatever. While I feel an author shouldn't ignore their readers completely, it is in the end the author's story and the author should have creative control over their work.

At the moment the main reason I think the eye thing is being brought up is because serious bodily harm (and loss of any body part counts) to the protagonist is always a shock in any story. How the author handles that and incorporates it into their story can change how the readers react heavily. The way you've included this in your story was a no win scenario. People would complain if you dragged out the protagonist adjusting to having to no eyes, and they'd complain if you just slid past all of that like you have. With the way you've written you story so far there is no way to do this without people being split on how they feel about it, although this would likely be the case regardless. Because so far it doesn't fit as part of the themes you've presented in this story. It stands out oddly as a seemingly random thing that happened and wasn't addressed by the author beside an echoing 'shit happens, get over it'.

Then again we're still in what feels like the early stages of the story, and you've written some fairly good fanfics in the past. I can only assume you're going somewhere with this and trust you have a point you're trying to make.
 
I kind of really wanted to see her pull a kraken out of her sleeve and wrestle the Leviathan into submission. :(
Now I really want to see her de-stress by bickering with Myrddin about who the better witch/wizard is.
Or maybe argue with the Protectorate about who has the right to keep the leg she cut off. (her as a trophy or them as a science experiment)

All fear the mighty Morgana, slayer of dragons and endbringers alike, burning empires that think they are immortal, may all bask in her glory.
 
To be fair, Protectorate is almost guaranteed to break the rules and try to grab her now. She's got a big boost on a "is a target to recruit no matter what" list

Yeah, but the problem that always comes up here; how do they keep her? I'm sure they can go ahead and grab her, but unless they have a friendly Master they're willing to toss her to, everything she's said until this point still holds. I don't think they know she has a limited amount of any Flame, but how do you hold someone that disintegrates any cell you can put her in, foam included, pull all sorts of Stranger tricks, and fly? Nevermind everything else she can do, the second she's in a position to do so she's gone again, you can't really forcibly recruit someone like that and expect it to stick. She's already a Villain, so she's probably not going to be too put off by the standard forceful Wards pitch of "Join us or go to jail."
 
To be fair, Protectorate is almost guaranteed to break the rules and try to grab her now. She's got a big boost on a "is a target to recruit no matter what" list
While this is probably true, she also dropped off the bottom of the list for most potential "recruitment" attempts. Between her reaction to Kaiser and the fact her power make her impossible to hold there wouldn't be any point in the PRT or really anyone else I can think of except for possibly Heartbreaker trying to grab her.
 
my opinion:
the missing eyes are not a problem and it kind of makes sense IC that people would go for them since she seems like she *should* get weakened by losing them since it intuitively makes sense that nearly *everyone* would be plus she has a lot of visual-based powers and they don't know yet that she can see through her illusions this well I guess. OOC I think theres the relevant goal of having the excuse of her not having a civilian identity anymore. Sure she could rebuild her identity after the father-napping and she could also hide the glowing-eye thing.....but doing the former while hiding the latter is probably enough to slow/hinder things enough to make it just not worth it for the near future.....which as I said might be the OOC goal of having it happen.

I am not sure what my opinion on the EB fight is, on one hand I honestly felt like the EB should have stepped things up a notch rather then retreating because iirc EB fights are NEVER "wins" like what this honestly looks like, their just losses that don't involve the total write-off of the entire city or even country and instead merely the entirety of the given location and a good portion of the defenders which diden't happen here
.....on the otherhand I kind of agree that EB fights are sometimes over-extended and maybe the EBs decided to back off to get a chance to study her powers from a distance or something any way you know? the point is valid that they would realize at this point that she COULD kill one and that's the point where you either back off to a safe distance (which worked here), or you double-down and you go whole hog and maybe levy didn't want to reveal his hand just yet. ....but on the first hand again, if the author doesn't want the EB fight to seriously change anything why not just have levy attack somewhere else and have taylor decide to not to go? the only remaining OOC reason for it is that you need Taylor's battle to enter the global scale but surely there are other options to force her into that despite her wanting to avoid attention right? (she kind of hamstrung her survival attempt by going all the way and revealing her power honestly but I think I can see her wanting to dish out some pain on the EB)
perhaps something along the lines of international followups from the European supporters of the empire?

i also share the possibly-unhealthy enjoyment of worm-MC's making people who try to break the rules regret it that other readers of worm-fanfics seem to so just gonna mention that I liked the come-backs here.

also, I diden't know this actually was a cross-over; what fiction is her powers from? links to wiki/etc please?

good chapter and good luck to OP on getting back on the horse after the hiatus.
 
But you've mitigated that entirely by giving them a work around that probably won't come up as an issue unless their power can be nullified and they run into someone who can nullify powers. There honestly doesn't feel like there's a point to it other than for the 'blind badass' trope, which doesn't even work because they have eyes, just not fleshy ones.
Hmm ok. My reasoning goes something like this... taylor is stupid over powered. Yes she has limited reserves, yes she has to recharge, but her powers are bullshit. She's won every verbal sparring match she's gotten into and the variety of her abilities has no sold every cape... right up until the E88 payed her a visit. She overplayed her hand and the villains lashed out and one of them had a trick she couldn't counter on fly.

She's still acting cocky because she has a reputation to uphold, but it's important to kick her off of that teenage "nothing can kill me" mindset. That's the reasoning for why it's important to Taylor.

For the audience, boring fight scenes are boring. If Taylor can no sell everyone forever then what's the point in her even fighting? you all have to know, implicitly, that she can fail to a certain degree for there to be tension and before that point I don't think that was ever really clear. Her losing that debate and her second eye was something which made that clear and wouldn't actually slow her down enough to throw off the pace of the story.

KHR for all that it was a shounen goofiness had some really fridge horror moments. Chrome was wandering around missing several internal organs. The only reason she never dropped dead was because she had semi permanent illusions replacing them. That's the broad strokes of what inspired Taylor's prosthetic eyes.

but on the first hand again, if the author doesn't want the EB fight to seriously change anything why not just have levy attack somewhere else and have taylor decide to not to go?

Frankly? Because sometimes even though I love to do things differently it's just easier to throw my hands up and let the rails of canon have one. Kaiser's death with no Hookwolf to split them, and no reason for Purity to get involved turns the Empire into a loose collection of capes with no real leaders, they're finished.the Protectorate still have a presence, they've taken losses, but aren't out of the running just yet.

Coil can make his push now, and Taylor with him.

as for how well Taylor did against Levi?

We know, in canon that people have knocked off a few of ziz's wings in combat, because we see Chevalier fucking with EB bits to make his fancy new sword, at least I'm pretty sure it was more than just a few feathers he was playing with.

Taking of a full Limb is big, huge even but Rain and Sun flames wont make her all that much more effective against EB's, this was already the perfect mix and she tapped herself out cutting through just a leg. EB cores are next level bullshit. If she collaborated with Flechette? well she could pull of a parian impression and cube the fuckers but that would trigger an escalation either from the EB's or from Eidolon's subconscious. Not good.

Had Leviathan stuck around it could have kept fighting at peek with a water leg, but that would be showing just how irrelevant damaging them is, and losing a leg really should count as sufficient damage to drive one off. I could have gone full wildbow and had Levi scour the coastline with tidal waves while backstroking around the bay in order to avenge his leg... but really fuck that shit.
 
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iirc EB fights are NEVER "wins" like what this honestly looks like

I'm pretty sure at least some of them are though, literally by design. We all know that the Endbringers are jobbing big time, but I'm pretty sure that's the point. Eidolon needed worthy opponents, not unstoppable forces that he always loses to. Legend explicitly calls it out in his pre battle speech, the goal is to do enough damage that the Endbringer retreats, because indeed these combat drones have a damage threshold.

Even in canon, what was Leviathan's goal again? Noel remained safely in her hole and the city was not entirely sunk into the aquifer. It just did a bunch of damage and killed a lot of people before being driven off.
 
rain might be able to help deal with masters tho given the fames effects on the mind
 
I'm pretty sure at least some of them are though, literally by design. We all know that the Endbringers are jobbing big time, but I'm pretty sure that's the point. Eidolon needed worthy opponents, not unstoppable forces that he always loses to. Legend explicitly calls it out in his pre battle speech, the goal is to do enough damage that the Endbringer retreats, because indeed these combat drones have a damage threshold.

Even in canon, what was Leviathan's goal again? Noel remained safely in her hole and the city was not entirely sunk into the aquifer. It just did a bunch of damage and killed a lot of people before being driven off.
Exactly. And it's not always Scion doing the driving off either. In the canon Behemoth fight, he was retreating when Scion showed up and killed him, and I am quite sure that Behemoth's first attack on Lyon ended quite a lot like this Leviathan fight: minimal destruction, driven off Endbringer and no Scion in sight. That's the reason why he tried again a few years later, after all.
 
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So I didn't look carefully enough at the update notification, beyond seeing the OP name. First paragraph or two were REALLY confusing, since I assumed this was an update to Archer...

well she could pull of a parian impression and cube the fuckers but that would trigger an escalation either from the EB's or from Eidolon's subconscious. Not good.
Tohu and Bohu showing up would be really rough, without even having to invent new Endbringers. Copying Taylor's power, on top of other, synergistic powers? I don't know enough about the source material for her powers to know if, say, another form of pyrokinesis, or a resetting ability like Alabaster or Perdition's would grant unlimited flames, but there's sure to be some broken combo out there.

For what it's worth, I liked this fight. It was just the good bits, not a lot of the soul crushing dread and despair a lot of fics like to drag out for entire arcs... Yes, Endbringer fights are rough, but most fanfic authors aren't going to present anything new on that front that we haven't read a dozen times before, starting with canon. It's the methods (ex., Flame buzzsaw) that change, and are the bits that I don't skim over. So this was great.
 
Is going to be put into a PRT safe and will only be taken out for trustworthy capes and scientists to study/experiment with, just like the other miscellanous parts the Endbringers lost over the course of their World Desolation Tour.
I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor will want to take a piece for herself. Both a trophy and an experiment to see how she could damage them more effectively.
 
.... on the eye thing I just posted something about this on the previous page and I still don't get it.
Neither do I. Though in my eye instead of real looking, but glowing replacements, I have her seeing through glowing orbs, much more intimidating and cool.

Bleagh this arcs done. I need to stop and work out a plan for what actually comes next at this point.

Ignore the S9, they can be "Sir-not-appearing-in-this-film". I'd only bring them in if they can add to your story otherwise have them knock off off-screen, by Cauldron for "path reasons" or even some normals with unholy amounts of explosives.

She's still acting cocky because she has a reputation to uphold, but it's important to kick her off of that teenage "nothing can kill me" mindset. That's the reasoning for why it's important to Taylor.
I loved that confrontation for all those reasons. She gambled big and they called her on it, so she had to roll hard. So yes when the odds are against you and someone calls your bluff you have to pay the piper his due. I almost wish she got a little more messed up, but with her powers it would have been difficult. And why the eyes? well I personally have almost taking an eye out on those locker hooks trying to reach something in the back so that doesn't surprise me and in fact was something I feel was missing in canon/fanon; and Cricket is a deathmatch cage fighter, you are trained to go for the softy squishy organs (eyes are priority 1) to end your opponents ability to fight back.

For the audience, boring fight scenes are boring.

Truth.

Taking of a full Limb is big,

Yep, driving off EB in canon does happens and it is mentioned that quite often bits and pieces off EB are collected by governments and studied. IIRC a wing from the Simurgh was the largest piece of collected, so yeah, Taylor's about to more up in the world, especially cause she went full Kaiju mode to do it, or at least from an outsiders perspective she did.

----

Fencer, I just want to say this is one of my favorite stories full stop. Also I'd have a very difficult time choosing between this and Archer as which one is my favorite of yours. So keep up the amazing work and I love that I get to close out 2020 with one of your stories. Much luck in the New Years!

P.S. Generally, well-thought out criticism is a wonderful thing, but listening to the fan complaints is the fastest way to ruin your work (*cough*Rise of Skywalker*cough*). So keep doing you but take the complaints with a truck load of salt.
 
Glad to see this back and still going strong. One of the better villian!Taylors in fandom imo. I can't wait to see her try to claim the leg as a trophy and come to verbal blows with the PRT/Protectorate cuz I can just bet there's laws preventing capes from claiming Endbringer parts as spoils if war...
 
she clearly can destroy their strongest material, and Leviathan knows it. It just takes time. She IS an Endbringer slayer.
Not even close. Not even within intergalactic distances of close.
Leviathan's durability effectively doubles for every 3% inward you go into his limbs. That's aluminum alloy x 2^33. For his limbs.
His body it doubles every 0.5%. That's aluminum alloy x 2^200. By his core he has more mass than is physically possible. If physics was at all in effect he would at least be a neutron star with a core of strange matter, but most likely a full on black hole.
is she immune to Valefor?
No. Valefor doesn't function by you looking at him, he functions by him looking at you.
 
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I uhh, honestly dunno what to say then. Sorry I'm triggering people so hard I guess. Can honestly say it's completely unintentional.

Right timeline... bay needs to stay open, then there is the 9 and Noel not necessarily in that order, why noel? Because fucking Coil has zero long term plans for her.... actually being completly honest? I don't want to do an S9 arc. Just really that sounds like a headache right now and I'm not sure I even want to look at them. Because they suck and I don't want to invest that much time on murder hobos.

Bleagh this arcs done. I need to stop and work out a plan for what actually comes next at this point.
Just saying, as an idea, but the arrival of the S9 could be used to kickstart Taylor leaving the city or something in a way that would brush over them actually being there. They're a big enough threat that you could do something along the lines of her just giving up on the city because it's not profitable enough. From there you could go several ways, such as Rain or Danny or someone talking her into staying while action goes on in the background. Or maybe have her actually leave, branch out into another city and set up there instead, such as Boston, which comes with its own problems. Or, you could do something like by then she's made enough to make her dream settlement and starts setting it up and all the complications that comes with creating a working community.

Anyway, I'm just saying that the Slaughterhouse being murder hobo's isn't all they can be used for. Sorry if it seems like I'm dictating the story or something, just really like it and was think of things that can happen. Good work by the way!
 
Not even close. Not even within intergalactic distances of close.
Leviathan's durability effectively doubles for every 3% inward you go into his limbs. That's aluminum alloy x 2^33. For his limbs.
His body it doubles every 0.5%. That's aluminum alloy x 2^200. By his core he has more mass than is physically possible. If physics was at all in effect he would at least be a neutron star with a core of strange matter, but most likely a full on black hole.
No. Valefor doesn't function by you looking at him, he functions by him looking at you.
I'm pretty sure that ubserd numbers thing was back-tracked by even WB himself at one point, no source for that tho.

also, taylors powers might not be limited to strictly linear power-in, matter-distintagration-done relationship and just follow their own rules which would bypass the ubserd density anyway....so even IF its aluminum alloy*2^200 (which is beyond even WB's silly galatic core statement btw) I could see the flames managing to make more progress then they should

Furthermore, what we see here should ALREADY be enough for her to disintegrate entire ISLANDS or maybe even the fricking MOON by your numbers just by proving herself capable of disintegrating a thin line through a leg at the knee and she's proven in previous battles, I'm pretty sure anyway, that her limit is nowhere near that at least going by a purely linear relationship between her "mana" and how much matter she can disintegrate as measured by mass.
 
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