He nods. "Adrift on the Sea of Shadows, maybe."

"Huh? What's that?" Ooh, that sounds relevant.

"Just somethin' this one's mother mentioned to me at one point." Lancer raps a knuckle on his spear, propped up in the seat next to him. He'd made a big deal out of pouring it a drink back when we first started. Not that it had any way to drink it, of course, but he'd insisted anyway. Something about it being the gesture of the thing. "She said he draws his power from there. 'Both of and outside what we call the real.' Her words exactly, after all these years. Swear by me dad."

I'm assuming Cu is talking about Scathach? Not sure what the whole Sea of Shadows thing is, maybe it's a reference to the Land of Shadows (which is IIRC outside the World or something). Definitely something for Tom to research later, after some rest and relaxation, of course.

I loved the whole Lancer conversation, by the way. You've captured his laid-back manner very well and he was hilarious to read, even when he's talking about casually killing people. And I think youre the first person to actually use his geas in a FSN fanfic, which was great. Tom is really good at research and working under pressure (although I guess having effectively unlimited retries does help somewhat).
 
i.13
Part I.13

> restart: friday, early night

... is that it? Am I out? Guess that must've been the attack Lancer used at the church. That was nice of him. Killing me with that quick explosion, I mean, rather than stabbing me or whatever. I don't remember feeling a thing.

So... now what. I guess I just have to wait and see?

***

> skip forward

I run off a quick note for Emiya, signed anonymously, with the highlights of the next few days -- don't trust Kotomine, watch out for hypnosis on Monday night, etc. I wait until they've left for the church, then slip it under his door. After some internal debate, I ride my bike across town to Rin's place and leave a copy in her mailbox.

And that's it. I just go home.

> so what's the plan

The plan is I'm taking Rin's advice. I'm staying out of it from here on. Out of everything.

> and you're okay with that

Well... she's right, isn't she? I don't have a stake in any of this Grail crap. I'm not a Master. I don't care about who wins the Totally Holy Triwizard Murder Cup. The only reason I got involved in this mess in the first place was the time loop. If I'm finally in the clear, why stick my nose into things that don't concern me? I mean, I feel bad for Shirou and all -- that's why I left the note -- but if anyone is strong enough to tank all of this, it's him. I'd just as likely get in his way.

> are you afraid you'll die

Sure, of course, especially since it might be for keeps this time. But it's more than that. Rin was right about another thing, too... this really isn't anything like Harry Potter. At all.

> meaning

As far as I can tell, aside from maybe Shirou, there are no good guys here. If it all just comes down to a bunch of power-crazed psychopathic Voldemort wannabes running around trying to see which of them can murder their way to the top... yeah, no thanks. I'm out.

It's kinda funny in a way... they get all these legendary heroes from the past involved, but then they hand control over to people who are the exact opposite of heroic. Amazing, isn't it?

> harsh
> but not inaccurate

Then again, maybe heroes fighting for the interests of ambitious sociopaths is as close to the true nature of war as things get. Either way, I want no part of it. You gonna call me on that?

> no
> it makes sense you'd feel this way

Yeah. Suppose it does, doesn't it. So... back to normal life, I guess? At least until something goes wrong.

***

> skip to: week 2, friday, afternoon

Faked being sick on Tuesday so I could skip the whole bounded field incident. Even though I knew that was a bad move -- if Shirou or Rin check the absent list for that day, they might be able to link me to the warning letter I left them. Turns out that I didn't need to worry, though. Whatever's going on with the Grail War seems to be keeping them busy. I've seen them every now and again out of the corner of my eye, scurrying around, doing who knows what. It's none of my business.

Just passed the previous reset point without any sign of problems. It's funny, though, right? All that time and effort spent getting out of the loop, just to do nothing. But isn't that how it's supposed to work? You go to the other world, you have your big adventure, maybe throw a ring or two into a volcano -- and then you go home. I didn't exactly have much of a hero's journey... but then again, I'm not much of a hero, am I.

***

> skip to: week 3, thursday, late night

Coming up on the end of day 13. I'm close to two weeks with no reset. I'm sitting at my desk, playing another game of Civ 2. Mana detector's gone. I took it down and threw it in my closet, along with Shin's notebooks. Didn't get rid of them, just in case of... whatever. But here's hoping I never have to see them again.

So here's a thought... what if I live out the rest of my life and die of old age or a heart attack or whatever -- and then reset to the Friday before last? I can't decide if that would be awesome or horrible.

> i wouldn't worry about that right now
> look outside

I take a glance through the window. Huh. What's that weird glow on the horizon?

> investigate

I grab my jacket and head outside. I walk down the street to the point where I can get a clear view from the hill, and...

... um.

> what is it

Everything's on fire.

> what do you mean everything

I mean everything. The town, the city in the distance -- even the freaking river is in flames. I can hear sirens screaming in the distance. The smell of smoke and ash in the air is so thick I nearly choke on it.

I just... what.

> are you in danger

No. Not for the moment, anyway. My house is on the side of a hill overlooking the town proper. It doesn't look like the fire's made it up here yet.

The ground below the hill -- it's coated with some kind of thick black sludge that's burning. Like magma, or maybe crude oil. Whatever it is, it seems to be flowing down from the temple mountain, which is itself entirely in flames. The school -- fuck. I can hear voices. People. Yelling. Screaming. Crying. It's just...

This is real. Holy shit. This is really happening.

> keep calm
> what can you do

Yeah, I'd -- I should go wake up Mom and Dad. In case we need to move. It's just... fuck. It's like watching Pompeii burn. Except it's my town. My city. My...

... wait. What the fuck was that?

> what

I saw this... I guess you could call it a flash? Or maybe like the opposite of one -- a flicker of the absence of light, somehow...

There. There it is again. There's this... sort of blackish-indigo beam lancing across the town. It seems to be coming from the top of the mountain. It traces over a block or two, then vanishes.

> does anything explode

No, not that I can see. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to damage any of the buildings... well, doesn't do any additional damage. They're still on fire and all.

Okay, here it comes again. Kinda tough to spot -- you have to remember to look for where there isn't light, not for --

Shit. It's coming this way.

> run

I turn and rush back towards the house. Can I take cover? Would that even matter? What the fuck is going on? Is this magic? Is it --

fuck oh god it hurts it hurts it hurts like the circle make it stop make it
 
I loved the whole Lancer conversation, by the way. You've captured his laid-back manner very well and he was hilarious to read, even when he's talking about casually killing people.

Glad to hear it. Thanks for reading. :)

And I think youre the first person to actually use his geas in a FSN fanfic, which was great.

Wow, seriously? Huh. That's surprising. There's a lot of great material in Lancer's backstory. I would have thought all that stuff would've been fic fuel for years by this point.
 
Glad to hear it. Thanks for reading. :)



Wow, seriously? Huh. That's surprising. There's a lot of great material in Lancer's backstory. I would have thought all that stuff would've been fic fuel for years by this point.
Not the first; I've also seen it in the likes of "lancer gets serious," but it's certainly not something that's at all common in fanfic.
 
i.14
Part I.14

> restart: iteration 21, day 1, early night

FUCK!

I'm... I'm back? I'm back. The loop, it's still... what the hell. What the everliving fuck was that.

I... I need to talk to someone about this.

***

> skip forward

"Wait... I know you, right?" Shirou hesitates. Once again, the front door. Once again, Not Actually Satan eyeing me from the rooftop. "Tomo... nagi, wasn't it?"

I sigh. "Fuck it. Just call me Tom."

***

> skip forward

"-- and then I get hit by this... I dunno... this shadow beam that came from the top of the mountain! That's what killed me. I'm not sure, but I think it kind of felt like that bounded field thing at the school. That whole tearing-the-you-out-of-you sensation, you know?" I take a deep breath. "So it's magic, right? I don't know any kind of tech that could do something like that. Besides, if it quacks like a duck... never mind, I don't know why I said that. Forget the duck. I just... yeah..."

Across the table, Rin stares into her teacup. Felt kind of weird going to her with this, considering before... but, like, I can trust her to know stuff about killing people, can't I? That makes sense, doesn't it? "... you said it came from the temple, right?"

"About there, yeah," I reply. "I couldn't really see it, though. It was probably already gone by then, what with all the napalm magma stuff flowing down from that point..."

"Right." Rin swallows. "Well... at first glance... that sounds a lot like..."

"... the Great Fuyuki Fire," Shirou says hollowly. He's the only other person in the room that seems to be as freaked out as I am -- or maybe even more so. The look in his eyes makes me think he might be full-out PTSDing here.

Rin nods slowly. "Which was caused by a magical accident involving the Grail at the conclusion of the Fourth War."

"Wait, what?" Saber suddenly leaps to her feet, her eyes wide.

"It -- it was?" Emiya just stares at her.

"Really?" I blink. "I thought it was an illegal chemical spill or something."

"That was just the cover story." Rin shrugs. "I don't know the full details, but... supposedly, the last war ended when one of the Masters ordered the destruction of the Lesser Grail. Which is... think of it as being like a conduit or an interface that allows humans to safely access the Grail's power.

"So when it was destroyed... I don't know why or how, but the Grail dumped this... waste material all over the old Shinto district, which set everything it touched on fire. The Church investigators called it Grail mud. I don't think they ever reached a conclusion as to why it happened. It's definitely not a part of the Grail's original design. But whatever the cause... it didn't end until over five hundred people were dead."

Saber sinks back down to the floor. Emiya slumps his head forward, but doesn't say anything.

"So... this thing that happens. Or, y'know, might happen," I finally say. "It comes from the Grail?"

"That..." Rin hesitates. "There's no way to be sure, but that would be my first guess. The temple is one of three places the Lesser Grail can manifest at the end of the war. Maybe... if it gets destroyed again like last time, without anyone making a wish..."

"Or if it falls into the wrong hands," Saber says. "This could also be the result of someone using their wish for evil ends, could it not?"

Rin shrugs again. "It's possible."

"Well... regardless of how it happened... you need to know, this wasn't like the last time," I say. "The Great Fire was, what, ten city blocks? What I saw made it look like a pilot light -- sorry, Shirou. I can't even describe it. It was like -- like..."

"Like hell on earth," Shirou says, his eyes a thousand miles and ten years away.

I nod. "Yeah."

After that, none of us say anything for a while. The tea goes cold.

***

> skip forward

I tell them everything this time. And I mean everything. Kotomine, Lancer, Caster's hypnosis, the school incident on Tuesday. I even give them my Berserker-killing strategy... including how it ended. (Rin can't look me in the eye when I talk about that part. But she doesn't look surprised, either.) Every bit of information I can think of.

In the end, an exhausted-looking Shirou walks me back to the front door. "So what are you gonna do now?" he asks.

"I think..." I hesitate and scratch the back of my head. "I think I'm out again from here on, man. Sorry. It's my family, you know? I have to at least try to get them away from all this. So I think I'm just going to focus on that."

He nods slowly. "I understand. Good luck."

"Yeah. You, too."

He offers me his hand.

I stare at it. I didn't think to wear gloves this time. "You... don't want to do that, remember."

"Oh, right. Right." He drops his hand.

We just stand there awkwardly for a moment like idiots. "Yeah," I finally mutter. Then I trudge back to my house.

***

> skip to: iteration 21, day 12, morning

It takes a solid four days of whining, some not-so-faked panic attacks, and a hunger strike before I get results. Fortunately, Mom's kind of a tiny bit superstitious -- comes with being a former sailor, I guess. (Never thought I'd actually be grateful for that.) So eventually she listens when I tell her I've had an apocalyptic vision of the future (which I only resort to because it's easier than explaining the time loop.) I finally convince her and Dad to use some vacation days and book us tickets to see relatives in Kyoto. The Brat is less than enthusiastic about the whole thing, but when isn't she. I eventually get her on board by promising to tell her where Mom hid the sake when we get back.

We leave on the second Wednesday of the loop, the day before it all goes down. I didn't see a whole lot of Shirou and Rin at school this time. Whatever it is they've been up to, I just hope it works.

***

> skip to: iteration 21, day 14, morning

It doesn't.

We see the first reports of the fire late on Thursday night, right on schedule. I stay up to watch the news. No one has any idea what's going on at first; the Internet buzzes with vague news about terrorism. By sunrise, the government announces its official position -- some kind of unexpected volcanic activity in Fuyuki. Emergency crews are being shipped in from across the country. Don't panic. Everything's under control.

Shortly afterwards, the first body counts start to come in. The number is... considerable.

***

> skip to: iteration 21, day 19, early night

There's a surprising lack of news from down south over the next few days. The fire continues to spread. Dead and missing counts keep on rising. By Saturday, the media is actively talking about the mysterious tar-like substance at the heart of the disaster, which at that point has been sighted on the opposite side of Shimabara Bay. But that's not even the top headline. Instead, the focus is on the worldwide disruption of GPS services, which brings pretty much all civilian air traffic to a screeching halt. Details are sketchy, but all of the satellite networks seem to have failed at once -- a situation which should be impossible, the experts say. Government's clearly already feeling the pressure by then. The opposition party calls for investigations. Confusion abounds.

On Sunday, the first earthquake hits. Nothing to worry about, the government says. Just a blip, barely even above a 7.0, very little damage to speak of. It's fine! Everything's fine.

Then another quake hits the next day. And the day after that.

On Wednesday, as we sweep up broken glass in our cousins' living room (and as word breaks that the fire has spread to the mainland), NASA and JAXA issue a joint statement reporting drastic localized shifts in the Earth's gravitational field. They say the sudden, random increases they've observed are completely unprecedented in the entire geologic record -- and, for that matter, run entirely contrary to our current understanding of physics. The researchers are at a loss to explain any of it. They appeal to the global scientific community to help them find a cause for the phenomena... because it's already having a measurable effect on tides, plate tectonics, and even the orbit of the Moon.

That's about when the television stations start to go dark. One by one.

***

> skip to: iteration 22, day 1, early night

"... and it just kept getting crazier from there!" I rock back and forth slowly as I talk. "The last I heard on the radio was that the mud had just landed on the Korean coast. I don't even know how far it'd spread up the mainland by then -- at least as far as Hiroshima. Kyushu was completely covered at that point. Same for most of Shikoku. And the rest of the news was just as fucked! Earthquakes and tsunamis all over the place -- not just in the Pacific, either. Turkey, Central Africa, some place called New Madrid in North America..."

Throat's getting dry. I drain the rest of my tea. "And that's not even getting into the really weird stuff! Extinct volcanoes suddenly going active. Satellites falling out of orbit. Gravitational and magnetic anomalies by the truckload -- pretty sure that's what caused me to reset in the end. Parents managed to get me and my sister on an evacuation flight to Utah to stay with one of my dad's business partners. Something went wrong along the way, I think..." Actually, I know for a fact that something went wrong. Trying real hard not to think about those few minutes of freefall. And all the screaming. Fuck. The screaming...

> repression systems to maximum

I shake my head and try to focus. "So... yeah. That's the takeaway. What's going to happen here... we're not just talking about just the city, or even the frigging country. I think... I think this really might be about the entire world."

I can't think of any way to follow up on that, so I just stop talking. The room's silent for a moment.

Rin taps her fingers on the table. She seems more skeptical this time around. Can't blame her, really. Given the choice, I probably wouldn't want to believe me either. "So assuming that I choose to believe any of this... and that's a big if, by the way..."

"Uh-huh. Thanks, man," I mutter to Shirou as he passes me a fresh cup of tea. This time around, I tried to ease up on the fire-related apocalyptic imagery to avoid triggering him. I think it worked? He still looks a little freaked out, but at least he doesn't seem to be actively flashbacking.

"There's only one thing I could see causing that kind of scenario," Rin says. "And that's someone actively using the Grail to end the world."

"So in thirteen days, somebody wishes for the apocalypse." That's more or less what I figured was going on. "Why, though?"

"Hell if I know." Rin shrugs. "What would I even get out of destroying the world? I mean, bragging rights, sure. But all my stuff's here."

I blink. What does she... oh, wait. I get it. "You know, Rin, believe it or not -- there is a chance, however slight, that you could actually wind up losing the Grail War here."

"Impossible." Rin tosses her head. Huh. Seems like she's extra cocky this loop.

"Putting that aside for the moment," Shirou says, "I'm more interested in how exactly we can stop all of this from happening again. Is there anything else you can tell us?"

I shake my head. "I'm sorry, man. That's all I know. In thirteen days, everything goes to hell. Don't know why, don't know how."

"And yet it seems you do know at least one thing you did not before," Saber says.

I look at her in surprise. She's been really quiet this time around. Well, okay, she's always quiet -- especially so this time, I mean, to the point I almost forgot she was there. "What's that?"

"At the start of your tale, you said that you have no idea why you were cursed to repeat these days over and over again. Did you not?" Saber looks me calmly in the eye. "Well... now you do."

For the second time that night, I have absolutely no idea what to say.
 
I'm really impressed with this story. Like, fourth-wall shenanigans and Abridged-series Rin shouldn't be able to coexist with dramatic Fate happenings, but it's actually working really well. Not sure how you're doing it, but keep doing it.
 
Part II - ii.1
Part II.1

> continue: iteration 23, day 6, early night

Holy shit... that's it. That's actually it.

> what

The porn is the key. The porn is the key!

> story of your life huh

Ha! Go fuck yourself. And no, I mean it's the -- well. It's like this, all right?

So an hour or two ago, I'm looking for this circuit diagram I saw in the notebooks somewhere. (I've been trying to get a better idea of how the mana detector functions lately.) I couldn't remember which book it was in, but I knew that it was towards the beginning somewhere. Because that's just how my memory works sometimes, I guess.

> the human brain: confounding itself on a routine basis since 80,000 bc

So I'm going through and looking at the first few pages of each notebook, right? And that's when I noticed there was some encrypted text on page three of the red notebook, and a dirty story on page three in the green. And they're about the same length.

I started going through and comparing. Time and time again, pages with cipher text in one notebook would have corresponding porn on the same page in another. That's when it finally clicked.

> explain

It's called a running key cipher. Let's say you have two pieces of text: a message you want to encrypt, and some document you know the recipient also has. Like, I dunno, a book, or a copy of a particular newspaper from a specific day. Something you've both agreed to use in advance. That second thing is called the key.

> okay

So what you do is, you convert each letter in both the message and the key into a number, usually based on its position in the alphabet (あ = 1, い = 2, etc.) You add each number in the message to the corresponding one in the key, then convert their sum back into a letter. And boom -- your message is encrypted in a new form. That's called the cipher text. Whoever you're sending it to can then decrypt it by reversing the process -- convert text to numbers, subtract the key from the cipher text, and convert everything back into letters to get the original message.

It's not impossible to crack this kind of cipher without knowing what the key is, but it's way more difficult. Especially if a different key is used for each message. That's why I wasn't getting anywhere with frequency analysis.

> sounds like you'd also need to have access to all the notebooks in order to decrypt everything

Right. But here's the really amazing part: what if your key is something you know no one else -- well, okay, outside of maybe a small niche of older gay men who are into your particular kinks -- is gonna want to read?

> thus the porn

My uncle weaponized the cringe factor. That's why all the stories were so... um... let's say excessive. He wasn't just being gross. It was for security.

Shin, you genius. You brilliant, crazy, utterly filthy genius.

> so what have you got

I've only completely decrypted one message so far. It was a little tricky at first since Shin threw some kanji into the mix, but I think I've got the hang of it now. Kinda speaks for itself:

WORKING THEORY: MAGICAL ENERGY SPECTRUM
LIKE THE EM SPECTRUM CAN BE BROKEN DOWN
INTO DISTINCT WAVELENGTHS OR ENERGY TYP
ES. CALLING MOST PROMINENT IN FUYUKI RE
GION "G-ENERGY" AS IT'S PRESUMABLY BEIN
G EMITTED BY THE GRAIL. MAY REPRESENT M
ANA IN MOST BASIC STATE / EQUIV OF MICR
OWAVES. OTHER TYPES DETECTED: "C-ENERGY
," POSSIBLY ASSOCIATED WITH COMMUNICATI
ON AND TELEPATHY (EQUIV OF RADIO WAVES?
); AND "I-ENERGY," ASSOCIATED WITH ILL
USIONS AND DISPLAYS OF LIGHT (EQUIV OF
VISIBLE SPECTRUM?). AMAZING. IS THIS WH
AT MAXWELL AND TESLA FELT LIKE?


> so shin really did know about magic

And the Grail. This proves it once and for all.

> must feel good

Oh, God, you have no idea. Feels like I've been staring at this shit forever without getting anywhere.

> so other than that what else have you been up to

Uh... well. You're probably not going to like this...

> what did you do

It's really more about what I haven't done. I haven't talked to Shirou and Rin this time around. Like, at all.

> ...

Now, just hear me out, okay? I decided I wanted to test the null hypothesis this loop.

> meaning

I wanted to make sure it's not something that I'm doing that leads to the world ending. I've technically never done nothing before in one of the full loops. I've always either talked to Shirou and Rin on the first night or left them a note or something.

But what if that's what makes them lose the Grail War later on? What if I'm the problem?

> you sure this isn't just an excuse

Oh, come on. How many stories about time travel are there where the time traveler causes the problem they're trying to solve?! Via the butterfly effect or predestination or whatever. I'm just trying to cover all my bases here!

> ... fine
> i guess that's a reasonable thing to check into
> once

Besides, this gave me the chance to catch up on some of my backlog. Not just the notebooks. I've been reading the Hagakure, for example, that one book on bushido Shirou mentioned. Oh, and that muscle memory task we talked about? I did that in the last loop! Dug up a custom version of Tetris I haven't played before. Did a lot of that until I learned the keystrokes.

> and the results?

Mixed! When I started playing the game again in this loop, I was definitely slower than I remember being. Much slower. But I relearned the keystrokes a lot faster than I did the first time. Basically, it seems like muscle memory and conditioning partially transfers across loops. I still need to practice in order to get it all the way back. But otherwise, I guess it's like... I don't know how to describe it. It's like the shape of the skill comes with me when I loop, rather than the skill itself. Or maybe it's more like when you learn how to do something, but then don't practice it for a long time before eventually going back to it again. At first you're struggling -- but then you start to recall little bits and pieces that seem familiar, until you finally reacquire the whole thing. Does that make any sense?

> sorta
> anyway that's good to know

Oh, and I'm pretty sure I passed the three-month mark in the last loop at some point. Since I got stuck in this whole situation, I mean. So, you know... there's that.

***

> skip to: iteration 23, day 8, afternoon

A few decrypted lines from the notebook page with the date calculations (just below where he defines his variables, thank God):

THE BUILD-UP CONTINUES APACE, IT SEEMS.
THE NEXT WAR IS CLOSER AT HAND THAT ANY
ONE ANTICIPATED. BUT WILL I LIVE EVEN T
HIS LONG, I WONDER.


***

> skip to: iteration 23, day 13, late night

> two riders were approaching
> the wind began to howl

So I am like 98% sure that this isn't my fault now. Because here we are again. City on fire, sirens, everyone screaming, etc.

> satisfied now

I guess? As much as one can be in this kind of scenario, anyway. I dunno. Was I wrong to suspect a last-minute twist?

> no
> you weren't wrong

Yeah, see, I felt like that was a genuine possibility here...

Ulp. And here comes the shadow beam, right on schedule. Here we go aga ow ow fuck always forget how much this sucks fuck fuck shit FU --

***

> restart: iteration 24, day 1, early night

> there must be some kind of way out of here
> said the joker to the thief

Yeah, no kidding... phoof. Okay. Unless it's a situation where the very fact that I'm time traveling is setting things up or causing -- like -- a paradox buildup or something technobabblish like that... I'm probably not the problem here.

> congratulations
> can we actually get to work now

Hey, none of that sass. I'm declaring a sass-free environment, effective now.

But... yeah. Let's go talk to some people, I guess.
 
ii.2
Part II.2

> continue: iteration 24, day 7, evening

And I'm running again. The ground's soft here. Feels like racing on sand. Mud covers my shoes and the bottom of my pants. Lungs feel about ready to burst, but what else is new.

"MOVE IT!" Rin shouts back at me from several paces ahead. She's faster than me. I try for an extra burst of speed anyway.

Three of Archer's arrows streak over our heads. I hear them explode like mortar shells right behind us.

I risk a glance back over my shoulder. Saber walks out the fireball without a scratch, her sword still wet with Shirou's blood.

> wait what
> what is happening


I have no idea!

> that is less than helpful

Shit! Shit is happening, all right?! Of the downward moving variety!

Looking back was a mistake. My foot catches on a root. I go down like a sack of potatoes and faceplant straight into the muck. Stumble-crawling to my feet, I pull my mud-covered glasses away from my eyes.

When I look up, I find Saber standing over me. She raises the jet-black blade.

Something red flashes in the air. I hear a loud clang. Archer grimaces as he blocks Saber's sword -- not with his usual pair of twin knives, but with a silver longsword. "She -- said -- move!" he growls.

"Yep!" No need to tell me twice. I scramble away.

> where are you

By the lake behind Ryuudou Temple, up on the mountain. Look, can I explain after I'm finished running for my life?! Is that too much to ask?

Archer seems to be only barely holding her off. I hear him grunt as she presses her blade down on him. "Now -- would be -- a great time -- to snap out of it, Saber!"

Saber doesn't reply. She just moves her head out of the way as one of Rin's Gandr blasts streaks over Archer's shoulder. (How the hell can she even see with that black visor thing over her eyes?)

I catch up with Rin, standing on top of a slight rise about twenty meters away. Should I keep going? No, no -- don't split the party. I look back. It's fuzzy without my glasses, but I think I see Saber break away and slash at Archer from the side. He's ready for that, though, and leaps back. I hear him mutter something under his breath. "Rho Aias!"

Some kind of glittering translucent flower unfolds in the air between us and Saber. Archer jumps again and lands next to us, his hand held out towards the projection.

"You can make a shield?!" Rin glares at him. "Why didn't you tell me you can make shields?!"

"I just remembered I could do this, okay?!" Archer snaps. "We need to leave. Now."

"Fuck that! We're putting Goth Barbie here in the ground!" So much for Baeber, I guess...

"I don't know what's going on here, Rin!" Archer glares at her. "What we just saw should be impossible! Hilarious, sure -- but still impossible!"

I rub my glasses off on my jacket and shove them back on my face. Just in time to see what's happening in front of us. "Uh... guys?" I whimper.

They look up. Behind Archer's shield, Saber stands with her sword raised in the air, crimson energy swirling in the air around her. Small clumps of earth and grass float lazily upwards in defiance of gravity.

"... balls," Archer says flatly.

> so about that running

Too late. Saber brings the blade down. "Excalibur Morgan!"

A tsunami of black energy crashes down against the flower. Layer after layer of shielding appears out of nowhere, only to get shredded to bits by the wave. I hear Archer yell wordlessly, lightning flashing around his arm. Then the flower breaks and it all comes down on us --

***

> restart: iteration 25, day 1, early night

Well... shit. Balls indeed, Not Actually Satan. Balls indeed.

> okay so now
> what the fuck was that


I told you, I don't know. We were up on the mountain, okay? I was trying out that idea you gave me. You know, using the mana detector to track down Caster?

> right

But the only signal I could find was coming from the mountain. And Rin said doy, that's where all the leylines in the area meet up, and anyway she can detect mana way better than some old hunk of scrap, so why even bothering with this. Which was, you know, annoying. But I just kinda gritted my teeth and let it pass because I clearly need her help with the world-saving thing. Even if I'm still not a hundred percent sure I'm over the whole child murder incident, but that's a whole 'nother thing --

> focus

Right, sorry. There's just a whole lot to unpack here, you know? -- So we went up to the mountain anyway, because I've been meaning to snoop around up there. That's when Rin remembered there's some kind of Anti-Servant Barrier thing around the whole monastery. The only way they can get in is by going through the front entrance. Which strikes me as a little sketchy, you know? Even if she says it's always been there.

> just a bit

Rather than break the party, I suggested that we skirt around the barrier and go through the woods around the temple. Try searching there first. So we went around the mountain, and then I start getting these weird readings on the detector. Not G- or Z-Energy -- something I didn't recognize.

> what kind of readings

I can't remember. I wrote down the pattern so I could look it up when I got back. Obviously, things didn't work out that way. Anyway, Rin can't sense anything, but I talk them into checking it out anyway. That leads us to the lake out behind the temple.

So we're poking around on the shore when suddenly this big tentacle -- or tendril, I guess? It looked all flat, like a ribbon or a long sheet of paper. It just reaches out of the lake, grabs Saber, and pulls her into the water. Like bam. Fucking Jaws. Over in a flash. She didn't even get the chance to say anything.

> sounds like the start to a bad hentai

You said it, not me. So obviously, we're concerned. Shirou was all ready to jump in after her. We held him back, at least until we knew what the hell we were dealing with here. Rin called Archer. Don't know why he wasn't there in the first place, honestly... I guess she likes keeping him at a distance, since his class is all about ranged attacks?

So we waited by the lakeside for a bit. Shirou said he could see something. He goes rushing over and reaches down into the water --

And a sword came out from beneath the surface and stabbed him right through the chest.

Rin starts yelling and screaming. I guess I was just kind of stunned. Saber just comes rising out of the water -- not swimming, like she's on a platform or something. She's dressed in this spiky black armor. And she's got this metal thing over her eyes, like an eye mask without any holes or lenses. Her sword was different, too -- solid black instead of invisible, with glowy red shit all over the place. Along with. You know. All the blood.

> did she say anything

Not a word. Shirou did, or tried to. He reached out towards her. She just sliced upwards through his chest, then kicked him to the side. Like he was... I don't know... a trash bag that got in her way or something.

Then she turned towards us. You pretty much saw the rest after that.

> shit dude

Yeah. So that happened.

> so what now

Now I take a few minutes to pull myself together, because this is my life now, I guess. Then I go do the usual spoiler briefing. At least I've got something new to report this time...

***

> skip forward

"That's impossible," Rin says when I've finished my story. "A Servant can't just turn on their Master like that! They'd have nowhere to get mana from."

"Not to mention, I would never do anything like what you described." Saber crosses her arms. "It would go against everything I am."

"That's the -- ummph." A bit of the leftover sushi from Shirou's fridge nearly flies out of my mouth. (It's so weird that I'm hungry. I'm usually not hungry when this happens.) I swallow my food like a normal person and continue. "Sorry. That's the thing. I'm not so sure it was you. The way you were acting... it was like you were possessed or a robot duplicate or something. Or maybe it was, like, Antimatter Universe you. I don't know."

> like she'd been altered somehow

Sure, why not. Saber scratches her chin. "... the attack I made at the end. Are you certain I said Morgan?"

"Something like that, yeah."

She narrows her eyes, but doesn't say anything further.

Shirou sighs. "So there's big mysterious thing in the lake we shouldn't go near, and an Anti-Servant Field around the temple. Got it."

"And the world ends in thirteen days," I add helpfully. Huh. I don't usually feel this chipper either. Kind of a wacky night for me all around, really.

"And that. Right." Shirou runs a hand through his hair. "Anything else we should know?"

"Well... there's all the stuff with Rider, too," I say. "Like the fact her Master's Shinji Matou."

"He's what," Rin says flatly.

> wait he is

Oh, yeah. We should probably jump back to that, shouldn't we?

***

> skip back to: iteration 22, day 4, early night

So I called in sick to school for the second day in a row. Haven't been of much use overall. Seeing something like, oh, the end of the freaking world kinda does that to me, it turns out. Besides, with everything I told them, Shirou and Rin should be able to get through the first few days without me, right?

At least, that's what I'd figured. Up until Rin calls my cell phone and tells me that Shirou's dead.

"He is?" I blink. That's never happened before. "How?"

"Frigging Berserker, that's how!" Rin's mad as hell at me. "He and the spermling busted in on us at the school today! Why the fuck didn't you warn us?!"

"Rin, this is literally the first I've heard of this." I sit up in bed. "I've even been at school today before and never saw anything like that."

"Yeah, well -- it fucking happened, okay?!"

It's hard staying mad at her when she sounds this upset. I try for a soothing tone. "I know. I believe you. Just tell me what happened."

Rin sniffles. "S-so -- we went to shut down the bounded field around the school, right? We break into the chem lab. But Rider's already dead."

"So Rider was the source of the field?" In retrospect, really should've pushed Shirou and Rin for more details about today's events in previous loops.

"Duh! So the field outside goes down. And that's when Einzbern and her monster come in through the window like a fucking wrecking ball or something! We didn't even have a chance. Saber was still upstairs fending off Caster's shit."

"Wait -- so Caster was there too?" Bloody hell. What a clusterfuck.

"Of course she was! Who the fuck else do you think killed Rider?!"

I start running through things in the back of my head. Berserker's never shown up at school during the day. What did I change this time? Nothing I hadn't before. I just gave them the heads-up about Kotomine and the ambush as usual, so they could skip going to the church and that whole --

Wait. Something finally clicks. Come to think of it, just about every time I've let them skip the church, von Einzbern's turned up at some point a few days later. So if that battle on the first night doesn't happen... does she just keep on hunting Shirou into the rest of the week?

But Rin's still talking. "S'weird, though... Rider didn't look like she'd been killed with magic. Way too brute force. But Berserker came in after we found her body. That little fuck Shinji ran off before I could get anything out of him, of course."

I blink again. "Shinji Matou? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He was Rider's Master, that's what!" Rin snaps. "GOD! You're useless!"

I hear her slam the phone down. The call cuts off.

***

> skip forward to: iteration 25, day 1, early night

"I'm telling you right now -- there is absolutely no way Shinji Matou could have possibly summoned a Servant." Rin folds her arms. "His Magic Circuits are gone. Completely blocked. He's got less mana than you do."

"That's what you said last time, too." I eat another piece of tuna. "But, um... I guess he actually straight-up tells Shirou he's a Master after school on Monday? Offers to hire you or something." I direct that last bit at Shirou.

Rin furrows her brow. "But that makes no sense..."

I can only shrug in response. Shirou scratches the back of his head. "Well... I guess I could try asking Sakura about it..."

"His sister, you mean?" I nod. "You gave that a shot last time, too. You said she wouldn't tell you anything."

Shirou blinks. "Huh."

I finish off the rest of the roll. Rin shifts her eyes. "Well, in that case... why don't you try talking to her?"

"Me?" I swallow and give her a confused look. "What would that accomplish? I don't even know her."

"Hey! Don't give me that bull crap!" Rin jabs her finger at me. "We're about to walk out of here and face a monster on your say-so! You having to meet new people? Not a big ask by comparison!"

"Okay, okay..." To further test my theory of Unified Post-Friday Berserker Incidence, I'd split the difference this time: I told them about the ambush, but asked them to walk into the trap anyway. So she has a point. I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. "I mean... I guess I could try, if you want..."

"Oh, suck it up, nerd." Rin rolls her eyes. "A little socializing won't hurt you."

Well... guess I have an assignment this time. Oh, joy.

***

> skip to: iteration 25, day 2, late night

Got the next Shin decrypt done:

INTERESTING. THIS NEW BOOK FROM Z SUGGE
STS THAT EACH MAGE HAS HIS/HER OWN DIST
INCT MANA SIGNATURE, LIKE A MAGIC FINGE
RPRINT. THIS APPARENTLY COMES INTO PLAY
WITH HEALING MAGIC. SAID SPELLS ARE MOR
E EFFECTIVE IF PERFORMED BY A CLOSE GEN
ETIC RELATIVE. AS THE MANA SIGNATURES A
RE SIMILAR, THEIR ENERGY IS LESS LIKELY
TO BE REJECTED BY THE PATIENT'S BODY, A
LONG THE SAME LINES AS A DONATED ORGAN.
I WONDER IF THIS COULD BE USED FOR AUTH
ENTICATION?


Z? Who the fuck is Z?

***

> skip to: iteration 25, day 3, morning

Okay, it's Sunday. I'm at school. I've tracked down Sakura Matou, like Rin asked. And... um. Slight issue here.

> what

... she's hot.

> oh

I mean, just really insanely hot. As in how-have-I-not-noticed-her-before hot.

> uh-huh

No, really! There's something weird going on here. Why isn't this girl a bigger deal? I mean, as far as I know, she's a complete social non-entity. People don't talk about her at all.

It just doesn't make any sense. Sure, her brother's an asshole -- but all that says about her is that she's rich, too, and you can see how much that hurts his popularity. Shirou says that she's quiet, but I can't really see that being a problem. And yeah, the purple hair and eyes are a little weird -- I guess she wears contacts? -- but that should make her stand out more, not less.

Do you see why I'm a little freaked out here? It's like looking inside your own garage one day and finding... I don't know... a luxury car or a boat or something. Just sitting there. Chilling. Been there since before you moved in. It's always been there. You just never noticed.

> oh yeah
> because that's totes the reason you're sweating bullets here


Well, yeah, okay, there's that, but... look, I just wasn't prepared for this, all right? I'm way off balance here. Way, way off balance.

> just go up and talk to her you goob

Oh, easy for you to say! And maybe this isn't a great time for her, anyway, and I should probably hold off until lunch --

> look worst case here if you screw it up
> then you just try again next loop
> she won't remember a thing


... oh. Right. That's true, isn't it. I... guess I am kind of lucky in that respect.

> exactly

Well, all right... here goes... transferring social anxiety into manic energy, as per usual...

> no no
> just relax you idiot


Relax. Right. Sure. Totally relaxed here. Just so obviously completely relaxed, can't you tell...

Regardless, I take a deep breath and step out from behind the wall I'm cringing against into the stairwell. Here she comes up the stairs from the floor below.

"Hi!" I put on my very best totally-not-a-serial-killer smile, which no doubt looks just as convincing as it sounds. "Sakura, right?"

> oy

"Yeah?" She looks up as she reaches the top step.

"Hi. Again. I'm Tom." I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. "Sorry, could I just get a moment of your time here?"

"Oh, sure," she says, completely deadpan. "I love being stopped in between classes by complete strangers."

Uh... huh. So not positive, but... like... maybe seventy percent sure we're doing the whole passive-aggressive snark thing here? I guess I can get behind that. "It won't take long, I swear. So about your brother --"

She sighs. "No, I will not help you annihilate or otherwise exact violent revenge upon him."

I blink. "Uh... wait, are you serious? Or..."

Sakura gives me a non-committal shrug. "You'd be surprised how often it comes up."

So I guess I'm not the only one in the school with a poor opinion of the guy. That's... oddly gratifying, actually. If a lot more bloodthirsty than I would've anticipated.

> it's never just you

Anyway, let's get back on task. "Yeah, it's not that. About Shinji, though..."

And that's right about when some asshole first-year jumps down like six steps at once and lands with a loud clap on the landing right next to me. Which kicks my heart rate up, sure, whatever. But Sakura startles hard, and she's still standing right at the top of the stairs. (I really should've picked a better place to talk.) She stumbles backwards with a gasp -- right onto the edge of the step. The books in her hands go flying. She totters there, eyes wide.

"Fuck!" Without thinking, I reach out to steady her.

It's only as my hand closes around her left wrist and I pull her forward that it occurs to me I forgot to wear gloves today.

ZZRRRP
 
Last edited:
Huh, went through all the chapters - took a twenty five minute read.

This is kinda awesome, mixing in the absurdity of UBW Abridged and the drama of the franchise. It's fun to watch the protagonist try, fail, learn new information, and struggle to adapt. The first few lines of Sakura's entry into the story amused me greatly, her Abridged!self is sassy as hell and I love that.
 
Is this Z person Zelretch? I can't think of anyone else, but how the heck did a random scientist meet Zelretch of all people?
 
ii.3
Part II.3

ZZRRRP

> download censored

ZZRRRP

***

> continue: iteration 25, day 3, late afternoon

YyyyyyyyyyYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH -- AAAGHHHH -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHCKK...

> it's okay it's okay
> you're safe now
> you're safe


ULLCHK -- UCCCK -- UCCCK...

> just breathe

FUH. Fuh. Hckk... nightmare? Was... it was just a dream? Oh thank fucking God. What the fuck. What the everliving... shit, my head. Hurts...

... where am I?

> find out

I open my eyes. Unfamiliar ceiling. I'm lying on a mattress. I sit up, my head pounding like a motherfucker. I know this place. Looks like I'm on one of the sickbeds inside the nurse's office. How'd I get here?... I pull the curtain open. On the other side, Ms. Taiga Fujimura -- one of the teachers -- leans back in a chair, sound asleep, snoring like a chainsaw. Aside from her, the whole room looks deserted.

My eyes are wet. Wait... was I crying? Why was I crying? There's a box of tissues set out next to the bed. I grab one and wipe my eyes.

> she's a schoolteacher
> her
> are you serious


Yeah. She's not bad, actually. She's just... well... kinda a ditz when she's off the clock, or so I've been told. I reach out to poke -- wait, no. Also heard she was some kind of martial arts prodigy growing up. I pick up the box of tissues and tap her gingerly on the forehead.

"Five more minutes," she mumbles.

Oh, for... I toss the box of tissues on her lap.

"GYAAA I'M NOT --" She wakes up, flailing her arms around like a Muppet. "Wha... oh, Tomonaga. You're awake. Good. How do you feel?"

"Okay, I guess? My head hurts." I rub the side of my head. Feels bumpy at that point. Did I get hit there or something? "Where is everyone?"

"They went home, silly. School ends early today, remember?" She yawns. "I owed the nurse one, so she asked me to stay behind and watch you. Dang pool shark... God, what time is it? Am I late for dinner?" That's one thing about Ms. Fujimaru. She seems to get real lax when she's hungry.

I knead my temples. "Sensei, what am I doing here?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really?" I squint. "I was... talking to someone, I think? And --"

Then I remember. I remember everything.

Oh, God.

> breathe
> focus on the present moment
> those aren't your memories


Not a dream. These are hers... my headache flairs. I clutch my temples.

But Ms. Fujimaru is saying something. "-- Sakura Matou. She said you were talking in the hallway when you sorta randomly freaked the fuck out. Just fell on the ground, screaming and flailing. Like you were havin' some kinda seizure. That ever happen to you before?"

"No." But I can't say I'm surprised. These memories... fucking hell...

She shrugs. "So Sakura called for help. When we couldn't wake you up, we hauled you over here."

"Uh-huh..."

"You kinda scream like a little bitch, by the way," Ms. Fujimaru adds brightly. "Anyone ever tell you that?"

Okay, now that's just uncalled for. I glare at her. "And you didn't call an ambulance or something?"

"Nah."

You know, sometimes, this school seems really messed up. And speaking of messed up... shit. Sakura. What a goddamn nightmare...

> don't
> don't let yourself get sucked in again


Right. You're right. That'd be bad. I try and shove it into the back of my mind.

"Hey, don't look at me. I don't make the policies here." Ms. Fujimaru coughs. "So anyway. Do you feel like you can, y'know, walk and stuff? I can call your parents if you want."

"I... think so?" My head still hurts, but otherwise, everything feels like it's in working order. I try standing up. That seems fine...

"Great. Because once you're up, they told me to kick you out and lock up here." She pauses and puts a finger on her chin. "Oh, and there was something else I was supposed to do... what was it again?"

"A full battery of neurological tests?" I take a few experimental steps. A little wobbly at first, but that doesn't last.

She snorts. "No, silly. Are you kidding? I'm not even authorized to pick up a frigging tongue depressor around here. Not since that one time, anyway... oh, right!" Ms. Fujimaru snaps her fingers. "Sakura asked me to tell you something."

I blink. "Really? What?"

"She just wanted to say she was sorry. That's it."

> wtf

I stare at her. "... she's sorry?"

"Yep. Didn't say what for."

"She's sorry," I repeat dumbly. "She's sorry." It's so absurd, I almost want to burst out laughing. Or maybe puke. Could go either way.

"That's what she said." Ms. Fujimaru tilts her head contemplatively. "She looked kinda upset when she said it? So I'm pretty sure she actually meant it. As opposed to... y'know."

Unpleasant things click together inside my head. Oh, God. That whole ambiguous sarcasm/flat affect thing Sakura does? It's not a choice on her part. She has to talk like that, because if she expresses herself in any other way or raises her voice or whatever while she's at home, then...

... shit!

> don't get pulled in

It's okay. I'm okay! It's just... all this time... it's been like that for her. And none of us knew. No one asked. No one did anything for her. No one raised a finger.

But she's the one who's sorry.

I don't laugh or puke. Instead, I find myself blinking back tears. Yeah. That feels about right.

> breathe
> let it happen


Ms. Fujimaru studies me. I guess certain signals are so obvious, they can even get past her hunger-induced apathy. "... are you sure you're all right? I can call your parents. It'll just take a second..."

"I'm fine," I lie. "I gotta go." Before she can question me any further, I turn and leave the nurse's office. I head for the nearest exit. As soon as I'm out of the building, I start to run.

***

> hurry

I run all the way to the Tohsaka place. I bang on the door until Rin answers. She stares at me. I must look like hell. I feel like it.

I swallow. "We need to talk."

***

> tell them

I first let Rin confirm my whole memory-hacking thing, since I forgot to mention that back on Friday. Didn't seem relevant then.

Then I talk.

I talk until my throat goes raw. I talk until I run out of words. I unpack every last hideous thing I saw inside Sakura Matou's head. Every terror, every horror, every atrocity. It takes a while.

When I'm done, I just rock back and forth in my chair, hugging my knees. We're upstairs in Rin's living room. It's dark outside the windows. Sun set a while back. A tea kettle and some cups sit cold and abandoned on the coffee table.

"So... what do we do?" I finally rasp.

No one answers me. Shirou looks kind of sick. Maybe he's just overwhelmed by it all, or he's reached some kind of place beyond normal anger and outrage. It's hard to tell. At some point while I was talking, Archer materialized in the room. He slouches over against the wall now, his expression unreadable.

"There's nothing I can do," Rin says.

She stands with her back to us over on the other side of the room, her arms folded behind her. The very picture of composure.

I stare at her. "What."

"To be more specific," she continues, "you two can do whatever you like. Saber, too. I won't stop you. But I can't help you this time. Neither can Archer."

"But -- Tohsaka!" Shirou sounds shocked, almost hurt. Archer doesn't say anything, but he turns his head away.

"Are... are you goddamn KIDDING me?" I try to shout, but my voice gives out halfway through. "Do you think I'd make all this shit up? This is real. You can't just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist!"

She keeps her back to me. "It's not that simple."

"How?!" My voice cracks again. "How is it not that simple?!"

Rin sighs. "Listen. Sakura Matou is my biological sister."

That shuts me up.

"When my father was still alive," Rin says calmly, "it was agreed that she would be adopted by the Matous, in exchange for certain concessions. The Matous are an old family. Their talent for magic has been declining for generations. They needed a heir. The contract stipulated that Sakura was to become a Matou completely. Under no circumstances were we to attempt to take her back, nor establish any untoward influence over her. As head of the Tohsaka family, it falls to me to keep my house's obligations."

"B-but, but," I sputter. "That should be, like, double reasons for you to do something! Bonus reasons! You're gonna let this slide because of -- what? Some stupid piece of paper?!"

"Contracts between mage families don't work that way!" Rin snaps. She pauses, then continues in the same emotionless tone. "As family head, there is a compulsive geas on me to make sure I stick to the terms of the agreement. If I take any action against the Matous on her behalf... if I get too close to her, or talk to her for too long... it could kill me. The spell feedback could even rebound on her. Then I'd be gone, and she'd be even worse off than she was before."

"Tohsaka," Shirou croaks. "That's -- that's just insane. You've been living with a gun to your head this entire time?"

She shrugs. "That's what it means to be a mage."

"Wait... hold on." I blink. "That doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't that stop you from fighting Rider?"

Rin goes completely still. "What do you mean?" Shirou asks.

Oh, right. Guess I hadn't really gotten around to that part. What with, you know. All the horrible to get through. "So, yeah... you were right about Shinji not being a mage. Sakura's the one who summoned Rider. Her, uh, grandfather made her." Bluh. Zouken Matou. The less time I spend thinking about that fuck, the better... straight-up goddamn monster, that's what he is...

> focus

I shake my head. "Thing is, she didn't want anything to do with the war. So they found some way for her to hand control over to Shinji." Something involving a book, I guess? That part's kind of fuzzy. "Anyway. If you can't send Archer, that means Servants count as, like, tools or whatever as far as this contract's concerned, right? But then... wouldn't fighting Rider be basically the same as fighting Sakura? That would count as you interacting too, wouldn't it?"

Rin unfolds her arms. She lets her hands fall to her sides.

"Look, it doesn't matter how that stuff works," Shirou says. "If Sakura can somehow take back control of Rider, that makes getting her out of that house a lot easier." I can tell from the way his eyes scan back and forth that he's already thinking up battle plans.

"That's presuming she's willing to go against the will of her family," Archer growls.

"Well... yeah. Why wouldn't she?"

Above our heads, the lights flicker and dim.

Archer sighs. "The psychology of this kind of situation can be complex. Sometimes, victims may even come to identify with their captors. It's a way of coping with repeated trauma over long periods of time."

Shirou narrows his eyes. "What are you saying? How would you even know something like that's happened to Sakura?"

The temperature of the air around us suddenly drops.

"I don't. I'm just saying it's possible. You can't always count on a hostage being in the right frame of mind --"

"Uh... guys?" I whimper.

The room begins to shake. No -- the entire house. One of the forgotten teacups vibrates off the edge of the coffee table and falls. It bounces off the carpet and freezes in mid-air, its contents hanging in an arc above the floor.

Rin laughs. It's not a pleasant sound.

White-hot lines of energy glow through the sleeves of her sweater. The wind in the room picks up. Darkness and flashes of lightning collect around her. There's this pressure in the air -- the feeling of years of suppressed emotions being released all at once.

It is legitimately the most terrifying thing I have ever witnessed. And remember -- I'm speaking as a repeat visitor to the apocalypse here.

Rin turns to us, her head tilted at a strange angle, her eyes shining bright red. Tears trail down the sides of her face. She wears a huge, utterly insane grin.

"GRAIL WARS," she says, her voice magnified and distorted a hundredfold, "ARE EXEMPT FROM THE CONTRACT. IF SHE'S A MASTER, SHE'S MINE."

> jesus

I'm already hiding behind my chair. Shirou grips the arms of the couch, his face pale. Even Archer looks freaked out. His eyes shift around the room like he's scanning for an exit.

"SHIROU." Rin's grin grows wider. Crap. Is she floating? I think she's floating, just slightly above the floor. "CALL SABER NOW. AS SOON AS SHE'S HERE, WE'RE GOING OVER TO THE MATOUS. WE'RE GETTING MY BABY SISTER OUT OF THERE. AND THEN WE'RE GONNA BURN THAT SHITHEAP RIGHT TO THE MOTHERFUCKING GROUND! ANY OF YOU BOYS GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!"

"... no?" Emiya says weakly.

"Definitely not," Archer hastily adds.

"You... sure you want to do this, like, now now?" I squeak from behind cover. "Don't want to take some time, think it over, maybe get a plan together --"

"DID I STUTTER?!" Rin roars, her voice like the crash of thunder. A blast of wind sweeps my chair across the room into the wall. I'm left without shelter, staring helplessly into the heart of the storm. "WHEN I SAY NOW, I MEAN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!!!"

***

> skip to: iteration 26, day 3, early night

"... and then we all went to the Matou place and died," I finish.

Once again, we're all sitting in Emiya's kitchen -- me, Shirou, Rin, Saber and Archer. Except this is on Sunday night, for a change. Didn't feel up to making the trek out to Rin's. Fortunately, calling her up and mentioning I had information about her baby sister proved more than enough incentive to get them to come to me.

"What, all of us?" Archer asks.

"Yeah." I pull my blanket in closer around me. "Turns out they've got these crazy good wards on the house that countered all of Rin's spells. You and Saber were making progress on breaking through. But then Rider came flying out -- on this freaking winged horse -- and turned us all to stone with her eyes. Because she's a medusa or something, I guess?" Medusae? Medusi? I forget what the plural is supposed to be. "Anyway, none of us even made it through the front door."

I take another sip of tea from the cup in my gloved hands. Trying to be more careful with the voice this time. Also, from here on out, I'm always wearing gloves. Always.

> to be absolutely clear
> you are wearing actual clothes under that blanket right


Uh, yeah? Of course? Give me some credit. I'm not that far gone. The blanket's just... sort of a comfort thing right now. Helps me stay calm.

Anyway, it's kind of interesting how different everyone's reactions are. Shirou's the one who's angry this time around, for instance. Halfway through my report on Sakura's memories, he got up and put his fist through one of the walls. None of us said anything. For her part, Rin just looks pale and tired. She hasn't done her whole Galadriel bit yet. I guess me telling her about the contract exemption up front took the wind out of her sails. (Or maybe she can only do that stuff inside her own home? Not going to pretend that wasn't a reason I asked them to meet me here instead.)

"If there are defenses," Saber says, "would it not make sense to liberate her while she's away from the house? For instance, while she's at school?" Her voice is as calm as ever, but there's this look in her eyes that makes me think someone's gonna die before too long. Heroes, you know? Put a damsel in distress in front of them, shit gets real.

"Fuck." I slap my forehead. "We can't. I forgot -- this was her last day in school. After today, she calls in sick for the rest of the week." Her grandfather's doing, no doubt.

"What?!" Shirou slams his hand down on the table. "Then why didn't you tell us sooner?!"

"Hey, screw you, man!" I retort. "I've got the highlight reel from ten years of abuse inside my head! Which -- just FYI? Includes sensations. I think I'm doing pretty damned good here, all things considered!"

As good as it gets, anyway. To be honest, I spent most of the last two days huddled in the fetal position inside of my room, alternately screaming and crying my eyes out. But it's not like there's a metric for something like this, right?

> there really isn't
> you sure you're up for this


No. But... I want to do something. I need to do something, you know? Knowing that everything I saw is still going on, right now, as we sit here talking... that almost hurts as much as the memories do. So I get where Shirou's coming from here. Even if he is kind of being a dick about it at the moment.

Shirou opens his mouth to fire back. Before he can, Rin speaks up. "I just wanted to believe she was happy," she says quietly, her voice hollow. She stares out into space. "Why... how could I let myself be so wrong?"

The room goes quiet. Shit. I take it all back. Bring on Galadriel. This is worse. Shirou reaches out to touch her elbow, then hesitates.

> try to keep them focused on the now

"You didn't know," I finally say. Which sounds pretty lame, but it's all I can think of. "None of us did. Now that we do, though... how do we make up for lost time?"

"We're at a tactical disadvantage." Archer folds his arms. "Even putting aside the wards and Rider, the enemy controls the terrain. We have no way to know what kind of traps they could have waiting for us inside."

Oof, fuck. That's a good point. I mean, the Bug Room alone... I flash back to the image of a milky-white centipede the size of a horse, its jaws reaching out for my -- her -- eyes, and shudder.

"There's a reason invading a mage's lair is usually considered suicide," Saber agrees. "We need something to level the playing field."

"I've been thinking about that." I put my teacup down on the table. "If we're gonna do this... we need to break out the big guns."
 
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ii.4
Part II.4

> continue: iteration 26, day 4, afternoon

The massive front door swings open. "Sup." I wave the little white flag in my hand, even if it's just a handkerchief scotch-taped to a pencil. "Neutral envoy from two other Masters here. Can Illyasviel come out to play?"

So Rin cast this spell that helped me get some sleep last night. As a result, I managed to come here sans blanket. Getting out to the von Einzbern estate is a gigantic pain in the ass, by the way. Then again, I'd sorta guessed things were heading that way when Rin's directions came along with a compass and a terrain map. Kinda amazing that I've never heard of this place before. You'd think people would be more interested in a massive fucking castle in the middle of the woods right outside of town. Wonder if it even shows up on Google Maps?

> okay hold up
> you lost me

What do you mean?

> not saying this is a bad move
> but how do you know this isn't suicide

Well, I don't, really. This is still crazy risky. But after that stuff two loops ago, I'm fairly certain she'll at least hear me out. Remember?

> no

Really? Huh. Could've sworn you were around for all that. But okay. Let's rewind, then --

***

> skip back to: iteration 24, day 1, late night

"Master, stay back!" Saber draws her sword as the fog swirls around us. "Let me --"

"Nah, I got it." Hands jammed in my jacket pockets, I walk at a casual pace up the street towards Illyasviel von Einzbern and Berserker.

> huh
> bold move
> weren't you pissing yourself at the sight of them a few loops back

Eh, probably still will if they sneak up on me or something. That said, you'd be amazed how few fucks you have left to give after seeing the apocalypse a couple of times over.

> what about that one theory you were gonna test

Later. There's something else I want to try first.

The little girl eyes me as I approach. "... should I know you?"

I ignore her. "You. Tiny murder girl. What is your damage?"

"My -- excuse me?!" She draws herself up to her full height. Which isn't much, of course, but I guess it's the thought that counts.

"You heard me," I snap. "You said Shirou took something from you. How's that work when he's never met you before?"

"I -- what?" she sputters. Looks like I caught her off-guard. Works for me. Just as long as it keeps her from remembering she could have Berserker crush me like a fly whenever.

"Time loop, blah blah blah, point is, I know stuff." I wave my hands. "Including, FYI, how to take out your buddy Lou Ferrigno there. Just sayin'."

Illyasviel laughs. "Right. A rando like you knows how kill Hercules, son of Zeus."

"Wha -- that's Hercules?" I blink and eye Berserker. He gives me this kind of blank look in return. I get the sense he's out of his element when it comes to things outside of smashing and smashing-adjacent contexts. "Well, shit. No wonder he's so broken."

"Exactly," she says smugly.

"Doesn't matter, though." I scratch my ear. "We still know how to kill him. Personally, I'd rather not. Been there, done that. Besides, it's kinda sad to watch. Feels like drowning someone's puppy, you know?"

Illyasviel narrows her eyes. "You really expect me to believe there's a Noble Phantasm capable of overcoming Berserker's regeneration?"

"Hey, believe what you want." I shrug. "Give you a hint, though. It doesn't really matter what we've got when Sir Isaac Newton's on our side." Eh, crap. Think I might've just said too much.

Her eyes flick over to the group and back. "... I've never heard of him being summoned before. What is he, a Caster?"

"Maybe." Woosh, okay, bullet dodged. "Anyway. You gonna answer my question or what?"

"I -- that's none of your business!" She crosses her arms.

Oh, to hell with it. This is getting me nowhere. "You know what? Fine. Be that way." I throw up my hands. "I don't care. I have my own shit to deal with. Your issues? Not my problem."

"Well -- fine!" Illya stomps her foot on the ground. "Maybe I'll just go home and wait for you idiots to kill each other then!"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever floats your boat, princess."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

So I'm not one hundred percent sure what we're arguing about at this point. I just know it pisses me off. I turn and stomp back towards the others.

> dude
> that was fucking awesome

It was? Then why was it so goddamn irritating? I get back to the group. "All right, let's go."

"Um... what just happened?" Shirou asks.

Rin just stares at me. "What the hell was that?"

"Aside from a complete waste of my fucking time?" I growl. "No idea."

***

> skip forward to: iteration 24, day 5, morning

So... are you seeing this shit? Because I have no idea how to process this.

> where are you

Outside the school. Since I still can't be inside Rider's field without passing out, I took the liberty of going on an... "extended" bathroom break right before it switched on. Figured I'd keep an eye on things outside while Shirou and Rin take care of business, just in case anything weird happens.

And, well... the von Einzbern kid showed up. Knew that was a possibility. Can't say I was expecting this, though.

> describe

She's sitting in the bus stop across the street from the school. In plain daylight. Alone. And in her usual getup, weird brimless purple cap and all. So already she couldn't stick out harder if she tried -- but on top of that? She's reading a newspaper. Upside down. With some big obvious eyeholes cut out in the middle. Do you get what I'm talking about here?

> not gonna lie
> that is kind of adorable

Suspiciously adorable. It's so over-the-top twee she obviously has to be trying to lure me into lowering my guard. Unless she knows that I'd spot that, and is just trying to freak me out? She has to have seen me by now, too. Hasn't moved a muscle.

... shit. What if talking to her on the first night just means she's switched to stalking me rather than Shirou? Dammit, what was I even trying to do back there?

> i thought you were just trolling her

I mean, not deliberately? I guess my whole thought process there was that it occurred to me -- after seeing her scared to die and everything -- that maybe I'd been looking at her more as a Resident Evil boss fight rather than as an actual person. And that if I just tried talking to her, she might decide to hold off on the whole violent murderfest? I figured it was worth a shot, anyway. Also, I was probably the only one who she might let get close enough to talk, since she'd see Rin or Saber approaching her as a threat, and she'd likely just kill Shirou.

And it worked, I guess -- but then it turned out that while she is an actual person, she's a person who's really fucking frustrating? In a way that kind of reminds me a lot of the Brat, come to think of it.

> oh
> that's a little disappointing tbh

I weep for your shattered expectations. But seriously. You gonna give me some useful advice here or what?

> did you raise the flag

Yeah. Just sent Shirou a text. (Turns out after all this time he does have a cheap little pay-as-you-go cell phone for emergencies. He just forgets to bring it with him unless someone reminds him.) So now what?

> try talking to her again i guess
> only this time leave your own baggage out of it

... yeah. Yeah, okay, fine. But if Berserker materializes and rips out my spine, you owe me a Coke or something.

I walk across the street and approach her. "So this is a joke, right," I say by way of greeting. "You're doing some kind of bit here."

"Whatever do you mean?" Illyasviel flips a page, which naturally has the same eyeholes cut out. "I am a perfectly ordinary European tourist, awaiting one of the many ingenious mass transit options you have in this country."

"Uh-huh." My eyes keep going back to that cap. I guess it's like a fez or something, without the tassel? I dunno. It just looks to me like someone stuck a round hatbox on her head and called it a day.

"Oh, don't look so nervous." She folds the paper and puts it down on the bench next to her. "I left Berserker at home today. Besides, it's considered poor form to kill retainers when their Master isn't around."

"But that's not the same as 'against the rules,' though, is it?" I counter. "And you're telling me you came out to watch a battle between three Servants without any kind of protection?"

The little girl clicks her tongue. The air blurs. I find myself with a massive axe blade held just a few millimeters away from my windpipe.

"Oh, who said anything about me being unprotected?" Illyasviel gives me a bright smile.

> pretty classy you gotta admit

Let's table that for when I don't have a very sharp weapon in my face. I eye the pale woman holding the halberd -- an honest-to-God fucking halberd, ten foot reach and all -- to my trachea. She's wearing this weird kind of maid or handmaiden's costume. She's also an albino -- looks similar enough to the kid, in fact, that they could be relatives, maybe cousins or something. For no particular reason at all, I mentally dub her 'Funbags.'

> dude not cool

She is holding a blade to my neck I am allowed to be mean. "I see your point," I say to Illyasviel carefully, eying the spike at the end of the weapon.

She smirks. "You're funny. I like that. Return to standby."

"Acknowledged," Funbags says. She pulls the halberd back and stands at attention. Just another reminder that just about everyone around me could kill me at any time, I guess. Yay.

I rub the front of my neck. "So... what brings you out here?"

"I told you. I'm waiting for a bus." Illyasviel sits back. "And frankly, I must admit I'm rather bored. I thought watching you idiots thinning each other out would be more entertaining. But seeing you stumble about without the slightest clue is just getting embarrassing. Take this chaotic little fracas, for example." She waves towards the red lightning around the school.

I narrow my eyes. "Uh-huh. As opposed to...?"

"Well, far be it from me to gossip about the neighbors. But... your Masters may be well-served by investigating that charming little tourist trap up there." She points towards the temple at the top of the mountain.

Oh. I get it. She's trying to play us somehow. That actually helps me relax a little, believe it or not. At least I have some idea what she's up to now. "And we know this isn't a trap because...?"

"Oh, I'm certain that it is," Illyasviel says cheerfully. "Just not one of mine. Christ, finally."

A bus comes chugging up the hill. It stops and opens its door. (No sign of any reaction from the driver and passengers to the blood-colored energy bubble across the street. Bluh. Magic.) Instead of getting on, though, the girl watches as another albino woman, dressed in the same uniform as Funbags, steps off with three or four plastic grocery bags in hand. The door closes and the bus drives off.

"Assignment complete, miss," the new woman says to Illyasviel. She seems to ignore me entirely, albeit in a pointed way. "I can give you a full report on my experience at your leisure."

"Later, Sella," Illyasviel says. "Leysritt -- up." Without missing a beat, Funbags mechanically moves to stand in front of her and hunkers down. The little girl climbs onto her back, piggyback-style.

> again with the adorable

I know, right? She's all over the place on this whole cute-versus-evil thing. "I really must be going," Illyasviel says to me as Funbags rises. "Do give my regards to your Masters. I'm sure Rin knows where to find me. She and Shirou should feel free to stop by. Though how much they enjoy the visit is entirely up to them." She finishes with a cold smile that shows entirely too many teeth. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

She puts a hand on her hat and clicks her tongue again. The air blurs, and all three of them are gone.

> so that was a thing

Right? I'm not dead, though. Guess that proves it. She is capable of interactions not involving homicide. She also seems to have me pegged as Rin and Shirou's servant -- you know, with a small s. That could be useful.

> is she wrong though

Let's not go there.

***

> skip forward to: iteration 26, day 4, afternoon

So the one who opened the front door was Funbags. She gestures for me to come inside. "Follow," she says in her child-like monotone. I nod and walk after her.

> yeah ok we're not calling her that

Oh, fine. You never let me have any fun... anyway, Leysritt -- did I get that right? -- shows me to a large room lined with marble. I find Illyasviel there, along with Berserker. She stands on one of his shoulders, braiding little pink ribbons into his hair. He seems surprisingly okay with this. The other maid, Sella, looks on from the side.

"So -- who are you from?" the little girl asks. "And why should I care?" Oh, right. She hasn't met me yet in this loop.

"Rin Tohsaka and Shirou Emiya," I say. "They'd like to propose an alliance against the Master of Rider, Shinji Matou." We decided last night to keep the fact that Sakura's the real Master under our hats. No sense in putting her at risk if the kid decides to go all murder-happy.

Illyasviel snorts. "Why? I've seen Rider around. She's weak. And her Master is laughable."

She's got me there. "Well, sure," I say, "but he's backed by his family. The Matous' magic might be lacking these days, but their resources are still considerable."

"So, in other words, the heir of one dying house wants my help crushing another. Hmm..." She puts a finger to her chin. "No thanks. Crushing all of you by myself sounds like much more fun. Bye bye now! Thanks for playing!"

She motions. The handmaidens advance towards me, both of them suddenly holding matching halberds. (They didn't have them when I came in. Where the hell do they pull those things from, anyway?) Crap. Now what. We talked about this last night...

***

> skip back to: iteration 26, day 3, early night

"I suppose... there is one thing I know that could help make your case." Saber taps her finger on the table. "There was an... incident back during the last war..."

***

> skip forward to: iteration 26, day 4, afternoon

"Wait wait wait!" I go closer towards Illyasviel. Berserker glares down at me with one glowing eye. Eep. I step back. "J-just listen! I heard that -- back during the Fourth War -- everyone stopped fighting and ganged up on one guy! Because he was just some random serial killer, and they all knew nothing good would come out of him getting the Grail, right?"

Leysritt grabs me by the back of my collar. Fuck, she's strong. Really strong. She drags me one-handed out of the chamber as Sella steps in between me and the little girl. I keep babbling anyway. "There's this guy -- Shinji's grandfather, Zolgen Makiri -- I mean, Zouken Matou? The one who's really pulling the strings? He's literally a monster! If he gets a wish..."

"Hold." Illyasviel raises her hand. Leysritt stops in place. "Down, please."

Berserker obligingly lifts up his hand. Illyasviel steps off of his shoulder onto his palm, and he deposits her on the ground. She walks towards me and studies my face. "... Zolgen Makiri. You're sure that's his name?"

"His original one, yeah. From before he moved to Japan." One of the little random factoids in the memories I got from Sakura. Don't know why I thought to mention it just now. "You know. In as much as a pile of bugs wearing a human suit can have a name, I guess..." I wish I was joking about that.

"Hmm..." Illyasviel glances at Sella. She swings back and forth on her feet for a moment, thinking. Okay, what did I just do here? What's so significant about that name?

> maybe not a whole lot of people know it
> maybe it was specific to the founder of the matou family
> who should have died a long time ago

So... you think the von Einzberns don't know about his whole immortal-worm-that-walks deal? Makes sense, I guess. Is that really going to matter to them, though? For all I know, that sort of thing could be super-common in the mage world. Like, the equivalent of a nose job or Botox or something.

Illyasviel turns to me. "... very well. I accept your Masters' proposal."

Huh. Guess not, then. Sella gives her a dubious look. "My lady?"

"On one condition." Illyasviel holds up a finger. "To ensure that this isn't some kind of trap, you will remain here with me as a hostage until our alliance is concluded. If your Masters betray me in any way, I'll have Berserker tear off your head and wear it around his neck as a charm point. Sound good?" She smiles cheerfully.

"Wha -- but..." I think it over. Actually, that's pretty reasonable, all things considered. Not exactly how I'd expected things to go, but...

I sigh and sit down in a nearby chair. "Fine. Then we've got a condition of our own. The Matous have a girl, Sakura. She was born a Tohsaka. So long as she stays out of the fighting, we want her unharmed."

She nods. "I see no problem with that. Very well. We have a deal."

Huh. You know, I'm a lot better at this than I expected.

> gee almost like i've been saying for years

Mind you, come to think of it, probably should have also extracted some kind of promise that I wouldn't be harmed either. Oh, well... too late for that, I guess...

I take out my cell phone. No signal, of course. "You have a landline here? I should report back to my... uh. Clients." That sounds at least a little better to my ears than Masters. A bit less Igor.

Illyasviel cocks her head. "Do we, Sella?"

"I... believe so, my lady," the handmaiden replies. "I'd have to go look for it."

"Do so. And when you find it, bring it back here." Illyasviel sits down at a little table that's made for her height. "I want to see how it works."
 
ii.5
Part II.5

> continue: iteration 26, day 5, early morning

I'm standing a few blocks down the street from the Matou house, holding an umbrella. Intact and unharmed, I'm happy to say. It's drizzling slightly, though I know it won't last long. Somewhere behind me, the sun's just starting to rise.

"Where are they?" Illya grumbles from beneath the umbrella. "I'm getting cold."

I glance at my cell phone. "Shouldn't be long now. They're probably just getting into position."

I have to admit, she's kind of starting to grow on me. Didn't expect that. It's like there's a switch in her head that goes between 'adorable little girl' and 'evil mastermind.' So far, I can't tell which mode's real and which is the mask. Maybe both, maybe neither.

> i thought she irritated the crap out of you

In my defense, that was before I found out she and the maids were basically organic robots. Speaking of which. "Back to what you were saying before," I say to her. "So you're all replicants?"

"Homunculi," Sella corrects me sharply. She and Leysritt stand behind Illya in the rain.

"Right, magical replicants. Got it."

"And yes, essentially," Illya says. "The von Einzberns abandoned traditional reproduction methods centuries ago. We prefer a more... precise approach."

"Okay. So it's like you're using cloning and genetic engineering to perpetuate yourselves. Gotcha." Seems pretty straightforward to me. "But you're still pretty much human, right?"

"More or less." Illya shrugs. "It depends on the purpose we're built for. Some of us are modified to live for hundreds of years. Others are more specialized. Leysritt here, for example, was created to be my bodyguard. She's nearly entirely geared towards combat. Since she was made specifically for this conflict, she most likely won't live to see her fourth birthday."

"Birthday," Leysritt echoes dreamily. I'll try and put this as tastefully as I can: I've been getting a... special needs kind of vibe from her. But if what Illya just said is true, it makes sense. They probably engineered her brain to hyperfocus on fighting at the expense of all other functions. Neat, huh?

> putting aside the part where it's completely fucking horrifying yes

Oh. Right, yeah. There's that. I mean, come on, a lifespan of only a few years? Who would do that? It's not like they're lightbulbs or iPods. I scratch the back of my head and glance at the maids. "That seems... kinda short. Are you really okay with that?"

Leysritt just gives me a blank expression. Sella, looking chagrined, opens her mouth to say something. Before she can respond, Illya says in a distant tone, "Berserker reports that Saber has arrived. I've told him not to kill her. For now."

"Sweet." I feel my cell phone buzz. It's a text from Shirou: TWO MINUTES. "They're about to start," I say, stuffing the mobile back into my pocket. "Wait for it."

"I remember the plan, thank you."

> also did you catch the part where you were calling a two-to-three-year-old girl funbags

Was trying not to think about that, actually. But thank you. Thank you, as always, for bringing out the guilty/squicky feelings exactly when I don't need them.

> i live to serve

Around ninety seconds pass. We watch the deceptively normal-looking manor down the street, its turrets and copper roofs rising above the brick walls encircling the property. Unless you know what to look for, it might never occur to you how much it resembles a prison.

A blue bolt streaks down from the sky. Archer's Caladbolg lands precisely in front of the Matous' front gate.

The wards take most of the blast before they shatter like glass and dissipate. I wince and look away until the fireball fades. When I open my eyes, the entire street in front of the house -- the gate, the trees, the brick walls -- has been obliterated. Flames spread across the copper roof.

Then Berserker leaps in from the tree line down the hill and smashes into the house like a wrecking ball. Saber charges in close behind him. I see Shirou and Rin following right at her heels. They look different, somehow. As in, uh... shinier. But before I can figure out what's up with that, they all vanish into the building.

I take a moment to enjoy the view. Frankly, I'm finding the sight of the Matou residence on fire extremely therapeutic at the moment. Hopefully, Sakura will feel the same way.

You know... once she's outside the burning house.

Um.

In my defense, I didn't realize Archer's thing would do that.

> live and learn i guess
> unless you die of smoke inhalation

Speaking of potential errors in judgment on my part... it only occurred to me after we finished working out our strategy on the phone yesterday that -- if we just waited until tonight instead to attack -- Rider would already be dead at the school and our job would be that much easier. I didn't know how to bring that up in front of Illya without explaining about the time loop, though. Seemed like that might've been pushing what little trust I'd earned a bit too far. And I couldn't come up with a good enough reason to wait another day.

> also if rider's already dead you lose your excuse for the alliance
> besides this way we get to see more of what she can do

I guess. Tell you what -- if anyone asks, let's just pretend I thought of all that ahead of time, all right?

"Well. It seems the door is open." Illya snaps her fingers. Two of her bird puppets materialize in the air and take up point in front of us. "Shall we, then?"

"You're the boss, TMM," I say.

Illya eyes me. "TMM? What does TMM mean?"

"Tiny Murder Machine."

Sella growls. "You will address my lady by her proper title, cur, and with the appropriate respect. Or once this alliance is complete, I swear I will --"

"No." Illya cocks her head. "No, I think I'll allow it."

"My lady --"

"It's entirely accurate, when you think about it." The little girl shifts her eyes away. "Besides... I've never had a nickname before."

Then there's this other side to the kid -- one that just feels sad and lonely. Again, what's real and what's the mask? Does it even matter?

I keep the umbrella up over her as we walk down the street to the crumbling house of Matou.

"And what even is a replicant, anyway?!" Sella abruptly blurts out. She's kind of fun, too.

"O.G. Blade Runner, dude," I say. "Gotta represent."

***

> there's too much confusion
> i can't get no relief

We enter through the vaguely Berserker-shaped hole in the side of the house. It plows through a lounge and what might have been a small private cinema -- hard to tell, though, since things got a little extra smashed in there -- before emptying into a corridor leading deeper into the mansion. I can smell smoke in the air, but it still seems distant.

Illya points down a portion of the hallway that looks more mangled than the other. "That way."

I collapse the umbrella and follow her. Leysritt and the birds silently take the lead as Sella drops back behind us as rear guard. A sensible party formation.

"So I was gonna ask," I say. "I don't think I saw Berserker's ribbons."

"Those are for company, not combat," Illya says primly.

We turn a corner into an ornate dining room which looks remarkably untouched. Until --

"You're here. Good." Saber rises from behind the big table that dominates the room. She doesn't even seem to notice herself deflect Leysritt's halberd as it swings towards her neck. Illya waves her maid back with a frown. "You move more quickly than I would have expected."

I glance around. "Where's everyone else?"

"I'm not certain." Saber steps out around the table. On top of her usual gear, she has the door to the broken minifridge in Emiya's tool shed strapped to one arm. Its front has been spray-painted chrome -- with a reflective finish. Improvised mirror shield. Nice, Shirou. "We encountered Rider shortly after we entered. I managed to wound her, but she retreated further into the structure. Rin and Shirou broke off to look for Sakura while Berserker and I gave chase. I am honestly not certain how I lost track of them. One moment I was ten paces behind Berserker, the next..."

I look at Illya. "So what does the big guy have to say? Where is he right now?"

She closes her eyes. "Dark place. Stone walls. No windows or obvious ways out. He's also lost track of Rider, but he's still fighting. He's surrounded by these... small annoying bitey things."

I sigh. "That sounds like the Bug Room. He's down in the basement." How'd he end up there?

"Then he seems to be playing exterminator." Illya opens her eyes again. "Shall I tell him to stop and make his way back up here?"

"Yeaaahhhh, I vote he stays where he is for just a bit. I'd really prefer not having what's down there following him upstairs." Also, really wasn't looking forward to dealing with that place myself. "Just tell him to keep smashing. Smashing good. A.B.S. -- Always Be Smashing."

Illya shrugs. "Fine by me. Those things look icky."

"I should continue after Rider," Saber says. "She couldn't have gone far."

> something feel off here to you

Yeah. The way Saber was talking, it sounds like she thinks we're way deeper into the house than we really are. Not to mention, how'd Berserker end up in the basement anyway? Sure, maybe he fell through a trap door or something, but what'd stop him from just jumping straight back out?

I go to one of the windows and take a peek through the curtains. "Oh, hey, guess what. Looks like we're on the second floor." I turn back to the others. "I don't remember going up any stairs. Does anyone else?"

Everyone -- minus Leysritt, who seems to be distracted by her reflection in a particularly shiny candlestick -- shakes their head. Illya glances at the maids. "Sella?"

"Yes, my lady." Sella mutters some words and draws a glowing sigil in the air. She studies the light from the phantasm carefully. "We seem to be within at least one bounded field. I am unable to identify the exact class or nature of the spell being used. My best guess is that it's either some form of illusion or material transmutation magecraft."

In other words, the place can either rearrange itself or make us think that it can. Dammit. I hate it when Dungeon Masters pull these kinds of bullshit mind games.

> who could have guessed invading the home of a centuries-old practitioner of the dark arts would be so complicated

"All the same, I should move on." Saber looks at me. "Tom -- try to find Shirou and Rin if you can. Otherwise, be on your guard."

She exits the room. It occurs to me that, after all this, it might be a good idea to sit down with everyone and have a little talk about maybe not splitting up the party. Then again, I suppose it's not like that particular maxim worked out great for me the last time I tried it...

I look at Illya. "So now what?"

"Hmm... let's keep going for the moment. I want to see if we can find some kind of library or workshop in here."

"Looking out for that sweet, sweet mage loot, huh?" I take one more glance out the window and let go of the curtain. "I can respect that."

***

> skip forward

Naturally, we run into Rider first.

We pass through a series of hallways and assorted spaces -- a crumbling art studio, some sort of greenhouse, a coat closet, a kitchen, a garage containing an old horse-drawn carriage up on concrete blocks -- until we enter what looks to be a billiards room. And there she is, sitting on top of a pool table, nursing a cut on her upper thigh.

This is the first good look I've gotten of her with my own eyes. True to Sakura's memories, she's absolutely gorgeous, to the point that my brain almost refuses to believe she's real -- long pink hair, dressed in a skin-tight black corset and long evening gloves. None of the snake-like features or life-ending ugliness I would've expected from her entry in the Monster Manual. She wields a pair of metal spikes, connected by a long chain. (What would you even call those? Chained spikes? Nail-chucks?) She also wears this leather blindfold thing over her eyes, I assume to keep the petrification effect from going off when she doesn't want it to. Lucky for me.

She immediately jumps to her feet, looking just about as surprised as we are. I turn away and drop back as she tosses one of her spikes at us. "Watch the eyes, watch the eyes..."

"We know," Illya says, sounding cross. She shuts her eyes tight. Doesn't seem to slow her down, though -- one of her birds blasts the weapon in midair, sending it spinning away. I see a blur in my peripheral vision as Rider leaps at Illya. But Leysritt steps in her way and meets the Servant's fist with her own. The shockwave their impact sends through the air is enough to make me stumble back into a wall. No one else appears to so much as flinch.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I'm feeling a little out of my league here. If I stick around, chances are good I'll just wind up getting in the way.

> yeah
> might be a good time for an ignoble retreat

Way ahead of you. "So I'll go check in with the others," I mutter. If anyone notices or cares, they don't say anything. I flee through the door we came through and back down the hall.

At least until I trip on something. I steady myself with the umbrella and look down.

Turns out I'm not the only coward here. Shinji Matou shrinks back from me, his eyes practically bulging in terror. He's down on the floor, huddled behind this gigantic clay floor vase set against the hallway wall. He clutches a destroyed, half-burned book in his arms. From the smell in the air, I'm guessing the pants he's wearing are a write-off at this point.

This fucker. I step back and point the umbrella at his face. He looks up at me in mute terror.

I glance down the hallway. I can still see Illya's group fighting through the doorway. All I need to do is call out to them that Rider's Master is here, and one of the maids will rush over and gut him like a fish.

So why am I hesitating?

> time for today's bioware interrupt
> paragon or renegade
> make the call place your bets

Not going to lie. Just looking at this asshole makes me feel sick to my stomach. The things I saw him do in Sakura's memories... the rest of us didn't realize the hell she was going through. But this guy? Not only did he know, he participated. He helped. Hell, he even laughed about it.

On the other hand... I try to imagine how being raised by a total monster would twist someone. Sakura had, what, five or six years with her real family, right? But what kind of guideposts could this jabroni have had? If someone's raised in a place where what's wrong is the norm, is it fair to expect them to figure out what's right on their own? Sure, a crime is a crime. Punish him, institutionalize him, lock him up and throw away the key. But skipping straight to execution?...

... fuck. Who am I kidding. "Go on," I growl. "Get outta here. Don't make me regret it."

He gets up and flees, whimpering. I can't help but try to get the last word in. "You're a disgrace to Shinjis everywhere, you know that?!" I yell at his back. He doesn't respond, quickly vanishing into the labyrinth.

> good
> that was the right choice to make i think

I hope so. I'm half-expecting this whole thing to end with him stabbing me in the back or fucking us all over somehow. You know, the whole ironic twist ending thing. Still... cliché as it might sound, I guess he just didn't feel worth killing to me.

> sucks to be the good guy sometimes

Only sometimes? Anyway... let's go see if there's anything I can do to help with this whole rescue business.

***

> skip forward

After a few more empty rooms and another detour through the greenhouse, I come across a staircase leading up. Not sure I see the point of it in a place where a first-story door can lead to a third-story whatever, but okay, why not. I head upstairs.

The smoke is a little thicker up here, enough to sting my eyes. (How does that make any sense?) I reach the top of the stairs and turn the corner...

... where I almost immediately run into Shirou. Startled, he raises the metal pipe he's holding. "Guah!" I drop the umbrella and raise my hands in surrender. "Wait, ID friendly! ID friendly!"

"Oh, it's just you." Relieved, he lowers the pipe. "You okay?"

"So far. Forget about that, though. Where did you get that gear?!" I gesture to the makeshift breastplate he's wearing over his clothes and the small buckler strapped to one of his arms.

"Oh, this stuff?" He glances down. "I just threw it together from some scrap yesterday. I didn't have time to paint everything, though, so we just wound up using this instead..." He scratches the edge of the shiny tin foil the shield is wrapped in and shrugs.

"You made your own armor? Dude!" I give him two enthusiastic thumbs-up.

"Heh, thanks." He grins and awkwardly scratches the back of his head. "It didn't really work, though. I mean, it kept us from getting paralyzed by Rider and all. But it didn't seem to reflect the attack back at her, like in the story."

I shrug. "Still. That was good thinking..."

"Will you two shut up?" Rin hisses, leaning out of a nearby door. "We are in enemy territory here. Flirt later!" I can't help but notice she also appears to be wearing a foil-wrapped cuirass, albeit one that looks a bit lighter and more patchwork than Shirou's. Dammit. I really missed out this time.

I wince. "Sorry." She vanishes back inside. We're in a hallway with three doors on each side, all of which have been thrown open. There looks to be another staircase leading back down at the other end of the corridor.

"Any sign of Sakura?" I mutter to Shirou.

He shakes his head. "We haven't even found her room yet."

"Ever been there before?" Not that it sounds like he and Sakura are that close, but it doesn't hurt to check.

"Nah. Anything about it in the memories you got from her? It'd help if we at least knew what to look for."

"I don't... think so?" Most of the background details in those memories seem fuzzy or indistinct, unless they're specifically relevant, like in the case of the Bug Room. Not much of a surprise, really, considering how upset Sakura is in most of them...

> focus

I'm okay. I think I'm getting a handle on this whole deal. Feels like I'm having an easier time keeping the flashbacks in check, anyway.

Rin walks into the hallway. "Anything useful?" Shirou asks her.

She shakes her head with a disgusted grunt. "All decorative books. Fake copies of Jane Eyre and Tolstoy, that kind of thing." Glancing behind her, I see what looks like a small library or study. "Let's go."

I follow them as they head down the hallway. I glance through each of the open doors as we pass by. Bathroom. Some kind of spa? The garage again. A trophy room, with a number of moldy deer heads mounted on the walls. And...

I stop by the last door on the left. "Hey," I say. "Hold up."

"What is it?" Shirou glances at me.

I walk slowly through the door into what looks like your bog-standard guest bedroom. Nothing on the walls. Bed, nightstand, lamp, a pair of dressers with the shelves pulled out.

But beyond all of that, though... there's a narrow door in the back corner that clearly should belong to a linen closet or something. I would've walked right past it without a second glance normally. If it didn't seem weirdly familiar for some reason...

I reach out with my gloved hand and try the handle. Locked.

"You got something?" Rin asks. I turn to see her and Shirou standing behind me. I can only shrug.

"Okay..." Shirou puts his pipe down on the bed and limbers up his shoulder. "Just gimme a second here -- I'll get it..."

Rin steps past me and kicks the lock with a perfect roundhouse. The door bursts open.

"Open," Shirou finishes lamely.

"There," Rin says. She walks into the should-be-a-closet.

Huh. Skills. She's got 'em. Shirou and I look at each other. I raise my eyebrows and shrug. Wearing a slightly miffed expression, he picks his pipe back up. We follow her in.

***

It's not a closet, of course. Instead, we find ourselves in a wide passageway that leads to a set of double doors. This house, I swear.

When we reach the end, something clicks and I know we're in the right place. "This is it," I murmur.

I look at them. Rin looks at him. Shirou sighs and nods. "Yeah, okay. I've got it." He steps past me and opens the door.

Sakura's room is bright and airy, if a little spartan. The only pieces of furniture I can see are her bed, a desk and a chair. There's a bookshelf set in the wall, though, and a potted flower plant sitting on the window ledge. It's the first room I've seen in the house that feels anywhere close to natural. Well, sort of -- appropriately enough, the passageway seems to lead out of what should be her closet. Aside from the windows, though, I don't see any other exits. Did her grandfather just kinda... seal her up in here?

Sakura herself sits in the middle of the bare floor, wrapped up in a blanket. It actually looks just like the one I have on my bed at home, except mine's beige instead of lime green. She peeks out from beneath her impromptu hood. "... Shirou." She doesn't sound surprised.

"Hi." Shirou takes a deep breath. "Can I... yeah." Looking embarrassed, he steps into the room.

... he's not any better at this than I am, is he.

> nope

Sakura slides back away from Shirou as he enters, her face flushing bright red. I'm getting the feeling this isn't going to be the quick in-and-out she-grabs-a-blaster-and-jumps-down-the-trash-chute kind of scenario I'd been hoping for. "You shouldn't be here," she says. "Grandfather won't like this."

"I know, sorry..." Shirou scratches the back of his head.

So... um.

It occurs to me -- at what I would like to fully acknowledge is a fairly late stage in the game here -- that it might have been a good idea for me to actually ask Sakura about what she wants. Before we... you know. Busted our way here in like a magical SWAT team. Tried to kill her Servant. Set her house a little on fire.

> gee
> you think

I know, I know. It's just -- the memories, and Rin's whole bit, and the shock... I guess I just got swept up into things, you know? I saw a problem and it hurt, so I tried to fix it.

> but she isn't a problem
> she's someone who has problems
> you need to learn the difference

I get it. I really wanted to help, though. Doesn't that count for anything?

> i don't know
> why don't you ask her after mr. superhero here finishes selling this 'rescue'

Shirou tries to rally. "So, look... we learned some things. About you."

"We?" Sakura looks directly at me. "Who's that?"

"Oh, uh. That's Tom. He lives down the street."

I timidly give her a small wave. She returns the gesture, her expression trapped somewhere between confusion and apprehension.

"But that doesn't really matter right now," Shirou says. "The main thing is -- we know you're Rider's Master."

"Oh." Sakura looks away. "Are you here to kill me?"

"What? No! Of course not!" Shirou hesitates. He very carefully places his pipe down on the floor and steps a few paces away from it. "We heard what your family's been doing to you. So we came to get you out of here! ... God, why didn't I just say that in the first place?"

She blinks. "And... take me where, exactly?"

"Wherever you want. Though... just to start with... maybe your sister's place." Emiya steps away from the door.

"My... what?" Sakura looks past him into the passageway.

Slight hitch, though: Rin's hiding to the side of the door, her back pressed against the corridor's wall. She glares at me, as if daring me to say something.

I hold up a finger to Sakura and sidestep out of the frame. What are you doing? I silently mouth. Get out there!

Screw off! Rin furiously mouths back. It's none of your business!

Oh, for fuck's sake. I shake my head and mouth, just talk to her already. Before she can stop me, I grab her by the shoulders -- or, at least, the metal plates over them -- and shove her through the door.

"... Rin?" Sakura stares at her. "Okay, first, what the hell are you wearing? But second -- you can't be here. You know it's against..."

"There's a loophole," Rin grumbles. She gives me another glare, then turns away to Sakura, arms folded behind her back. I guess that's her default stoic-adult-mode pose.

"Look... I don't expect you to forgive me. I probably wouldn't, if I were in your position. If I'd been... well." Rin swallows. "It was a mistake to abide by our agreement with the Matous. I see that now. As family head, I should have broken the pact years ago, consequences be damned. God only knows I thought about it... especially after Mom died..."

"I don't know why Dad chose you for this and not me. I'll probably always wonder. And... I really don't know how to even begin finding a way to make this all up to you. But... if you can... if you're willing to give me a..."

And that's when she stops, because Sakura is standing behind her. Putting aside the hair and eye color, you can really see the family resemblance. Seems kind of obvious now, in fact.

"... are you real?" Sakura's voice trembles. She tugs lightly at the elbow of Rin's sweater. "Are you really here?"

Rin stares out into space. "... I'm here."

Sakura hugs her, pressing her face against her sister's back. She lets out a strangled sob. And Rin -- Rin just completely fucking loses it.

> awwwwwww

Takin' it all back. All those regrets I just mentioned. Worth. It.

Shirou and I just let them have the moment. Fortunately, Rin pulls herself out of the hug after a few minutes. "Okay, okay, come on. Game face. Game. Face." She sniffs and wipes her eyes on her sleeve. Slaps herself lightly on the face once or twice for good measure. "Okay. We need to get you out of here. And we are getting you out of here, got it? Is there anything you need to take with you? Clothes or -- or --"

Sakura shakes her head.

"Okay." Rin straightens her hair. "Let's move."

She sets off down the hall. Sakura hesitates, then goes after her. Shirou and I exchange grins -- yay! we helped/were vaguely useful! -- and follow.

***

The euphoria lasts until we run into Rider.

For some reason or another, I'm in the lead -- I don't know why, guess I just wasn't thinking. Stupid. One second I'm walking out of the guest bedroom, the next someone frigging punts me down the hall. I land on my back and skid down the carpet a meter or so. So, initial reaction: ow.

> are you okay

Yeah. I mean, been better, but I think I'm just surprised more than anything. I raise my head and there she is.

I don't know if it was Illya and company or if she ran into Saber again or what, but man, since I last saw her, Rider's been fucked up. There's this massive, bloody wound where her stomach probably used to be. Her gloves and one of her thigh-high boots have been shredded. Cuts and burns across her arms, legs and face. Don't see any sign of the spike-chucks. I guess she lost them? She's limping, seems to be having trouble staying on her feet -- she's actually driven her right hand straight into the wall next to her as a way to root herself in place.

Also, her blindfold is off.

Her eyes are still closed, though. That's the only thing that saves me. I curse and cover my face.

"Tom, what -- shit!" Shirou's the next one out of the door. He immediately raises his tiny shield in front of his face and holds up his pipe. Rin comes out low behind him. She kneels down, her arm pointed out -- but she has to be keeping her eyes closed, so how could she aim? This one's gonna be rough...

"Rider, stop."

Or maybe not. Sakura steps out of the guest bedroom in her lime-green blanket, behind her sister and her friend. She looks straight at Medusa. "It's all right. They're not going to hurt me."

"... Master," Rider rasps. Huh. Pretty voice. "... you are uninjured? You're safe?"

Sakura hesitates, then nods.

Rider lowers her head. I peek through my fingers and catch the tiny smile on her face. "... I'm glad."

The Servant immediately dissolves into mist, which spreads and fades out of the air. Like dust in the wind. Sakura bows her head and looks away.

I pull myself off the ground. "Is that what happens when they..." I've never seen it happen up close like this before, come to think of it.

"When they go home," Rin says quietly. "Yeah."

Sakura looks up. "... oh."

Wait, is she looking at me? No. Behind me. Oh, great. Already dreading what I'm about to see, I turn around.

All the other doors we saw in this hallway -- the ones leading to the spa and the garage and so on? -- are gone. Like they never existed. So's the staircase I used to get up here. The corridor just dead-ends four or five meters down from me.

Sakura looks back to Shirou and Rin. "He knows."

***

When we look back in, the guest room closet is -- well -- just an actual closet now. So our only option is to go down the remaining staircase, which ends at a single closed door at the bottom.

> that bodes well

Oh, this is so totally a boss fight. No need to even guess. I mean, only one path forward? All the previous areas we've visited blocked off? The only thing that could make it more obvious is some ominous chanting in the background. Or a save point. I could really go for one of those right about now, honestly.

But here we are anyway. As the guy wearing the most armor, Shirou takes the lead. He puts his hand on the doorknob and glances back up the stairs at us. "Ready?"

Rin gives him a tight nod. Sakura looks ready to throw up, but doesn't say anything. I just shrug. "Not gonna change anything if I say no, is it?"

"I guess not." Shirou takes a deep breath. "Okay..."

He opens the door.

"Finally," a voice grumbles. "Get out here and face me already. Damn hooligans..."

Yep. Boss fight.
 
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