Fate Doctor [Young Justice SI]

[Loinvoyant]

It is cheating... and frankly kind of derivative. You don't need to color code text to communicate what emotions a character is feeling. We ought to be able to tell that from the writing. I would knock it out, if you're asking for opinions. You don't need that crutch.

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Or it could be seen as adding another layer of depth to the writting the same way the more established italic or capital letters do. The proper rules of writting evolve over time sometimes because we discover improvements (space between words makes the reading easier and faster, a single sense of lecture: from left to right is more efficient than changing after every line etc.) and sometimes because we have access to new tools that made innovations impractical. Colour coding is something that was unpractical before because of the rarity of coloured ink and because it takes longer to write. With the advent of computer, such colour coding becomes possible and could theoretically become part of legitimate established writting practice; although I will admit I do not see this coming because it still takes longer and the mechanics of acquiring legitimacy makes it difficult in our society because of it's origins.

In short ? Go for it if you feel like it adds something to the story you are writting.

 

[Lockedaisical]

Thank you all so much for the discussion!! I actually had a good long think about the rules I was using for this world and spent more time figuring that out because of this. I'm honestly,,, not very good at keeping to the rules and tend to take creative liberties, but I'm trying to see what I can do.
One thing I can say is that the extinction level event hasn't exactly happened yet in this world, and won't for a while (IIRC in May?). That's a lot of time for change.

I'm excited to see more interactions between Lee and Nabu. There dynamic is interesting as two entities inhabiting the same body, and puts how they operate as heroes in an interesting light. Judging by Zatanna's apparent age, this is also during season two, which isn't something seen very often in Young Justice fics, so it's exciting for that reason as well.

Can't wait to read more!

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I AM A BIG BIG FAN OF 2 ENTITIES 1 BODY (hueh) It's such a strange and finicky thing to work with!! And somehow overcomplicates all the relationships they make... also yeah season 2!! Wanted to try something different. Thanks so much for your support!!

Holy fuck thank you so much. I am so happy I woke up to this! A magic Young Justice SI is so rare they're almost impossible to find!

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Thanks man!! Yeah I noticed the lack of that in the community too so here I am with my ideas -- good, bad, and terrible

Not really sure why he so instantly enslaves himself. Serving Nabu, Master, etc

Maybe if he called himself apprentice or something? Otherwise it's a bit creepy.

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oh no youre right. I removed the troublesome word. I got into the habit of thinking of them in Master-apprentice bc that's what'll happen later on, but it had absolutely no setup here and was super creepy gosh

This really sparked my imagination. Given that the purpose was to find Nabu a host with 'mystical potential' and this was expressed as coming from a "more real world" as it were, I wonder if some of their powers will express themselves in a literal "treat the world as though it were a comic book" fashion.

Will the protagonist be able to "flip the pages" of reality back and forth to jump around the narrative? Can they peer between pages to read scenes they weren't in? Check out narration boxes and their opponent's thought balloons? Maybe not in a jokey way, but you could easily take that sort of thing and translate it into stunts done with mystical power. That could be Nabu's big new edge, even if he's not as powerful as he was before in other ways.

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!!!! That's a great way of thinking about things!! I hadn't thought about that!! I actually already have my own intentions with their powers, but those ideas are really cool; I'll see what I can do

If you're only familiar with the television series, why does the SI say "a book that someone wrote" rather than "a cartoon series" or something like that?

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I have several perfectly mature and thoughtful explanations, but the main reason is because it sounded cooler that way

It is cheating... and frankly kind of derivative. You don't need to color code text to communicate what emotions a character is feeling. We ought to be able to tell that from the writing. I would knock it out, if you're asking for opinions. You don't need that crutch.

Click to shrink...

Or it could be seen as adding another layer of depth to the writting the same way the more established italic or capital letters do. The proper rules of writting evolve over time sometimes because we discover improvements (space between words makes the reading easier and faster, a single sense of lecture: from left to right is more efficient than changing after every line etc.) and sometimes because we have access to new tools that made innovations impractical. Colour coding is something that was unpractical before because of the rarity of coloured ink and because it takes longer to write. With the advent of computer, such colour coding becomes possible and could theoretically become part of legitimate established writting practice; although I will admit I do not see this coming because it still takes longer and the mechanics of acquiring legitimacy makes it difficult in our society because of it's origins.

In short ? Go for it if you feel like it adds something to the story you are writting.

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the discussion here! Both of you are right. I really want to use colours somehow, though, so I thought about it and I'll be using a different, more magic based system for the colours. Again, thanks!! This helped

 

[Lockedaisical]

Spoiler: A/N:

The reason this took so long was because I was struggling with the pacing of this entire chapter(?). I think there are 3 more parts after this, and I've partially written everything out already to try to fit in what I want to. I'll try to fit into a more regular schedule. This part was actually intended to be 2 updates, but I'll post them together to make up with the lateness.

1.1 Steady

Mister Zatara picks me up to me feet. Again.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," I blurt out quickly. "I feel much better."

There's still a slight soreness of joints, still a bit of fogginess in my head, but it was a considerable improvement to the roiling nausea that overcame me before…

Before Nabu possessed me.

(I don't think the consequences of what I've agreed to have fully settled in yet…)

Zatara still looks me over, bodily turning me to check for injuries. I don't understand the fervour of his concern, but frankly, he's physically bigger than me so I don't do anything to stop him.

"...we can go back to my apartment," she says as her father finally slows down, satisfied.

"Not Shadowcrest?" Zatara asks, and I can sense how disquieted he is as he comes to realise just how much he's missed.

"Wait, no, you're right," she shakes her head to clear it. "Sorry, I haven't been..."

Her eyes are watching Zatara constantly; everything she moves to do something else she keeps being drawn back. She's fighting herself, and loses as her face clenches. "I didn't… expect this to work. I've tried so many times and..."

"Zatanna…" Zatara moves towards her. "My darling...."

"I'm sorry, I, I just -- " she scrubs at her face, using the sleeves of her sweater to catch any tears. "I'm just so relieved. Dad."

This feels almost rude for me to be watching. More so considering my… tenant.

I make myself as unobtrusive as possible, quietly leaned against boulder. Speaking of which, Nabu? Are you here? My mind has been unusually silent since his physical disappearance, but I can feel something, a new presence that I've never had before. It hangs around, constant and unyielding. I try to focus on the feeling, ignoring the exchange behind me as much as possible.

Mmmm I get the feeling he's ignoring me. Don't really blame him, would appreciate some time to think myself…

There's a tap on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Zatanna. "Ah, should we get going…?"

"There's really no rush," she says, but I straighten myself anyways. She speaks slowly, still with a tinge of caution. She smiles at me, but it's a performer's mask to assuage and relieve. It's actually quite amazing how quickly she's managed to compose herself.

I should state the important first, "I'm not Nabu. I hope that's, uh, clear. Honestly, I'm not even sure what he's doing now, he's not really saying anything -- "

"It's fine. I think I understand." I have to keep myself from fidgeting, but she's not entirely meeting my gaze either. Without the sheer mystic power that shrouded her when she was preparing for a fight, it's difficult to miss how young she is. She can't be much older than me. "Your eyes got kind of glowy when he was speaking through you. That was kind of scary."

"I'm... sorry?" How do I even respond to that? "But I hope now I'm not too bad?"

That gets me a slightly more genuine grin. "I suppose we'll see. So what do I call you now?"

"Hm?"

"Your name."

Oh uh. "It's Lee, but that's short for -- "

H-hang on. "...Lee? I'm sorry, I can't seem to -- to…" Why can't I remember my full name. Nabu, come on, talk to me.

A warning rumble, as if intruding on a dangerous creature's territorial solitude. Okay, I'll freak out about that later…

Zatanna wears a tiny, minute frown. There is the briefest moment of hesitation, before she reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder. "That's… probably my fault. It's okay." She seems to steel herself. "We'll work it out. I'm… I don't think I can repay you, for taking my father's place."

"I think you have to wrong idea of what exactly happened." Not to make this awkward or anything, but I truly had very little say in the matter. I'm still surprised that... I'm living to see this moment.

(How did I die?)

"Regardless." The elder Zatara joins into the conversation, voice amazingly smooth and level even though I know for a fact they were crying together earlier. "You are now here in a position where you were not before. I am now free from my debt." He shrugs.

"I don't suppose you have anywhere to return too…?" A mindful question, gentle delivery…

I can't seem to remember my goddamned address. I know I should be panicking about this, but the emotion seems repressed, and my thoughts are surprisingly collected. This isn't the time for a breakdown, this isn't the time for questions. I can deal with it later.

I shake my head, and Zatanna nods to herself. "We can go to Shadowcrest, first." She speaks with hopeful conviction, newfound optimism overwhelming the exhaustion that lined her earlier.

"We'll work it out."

I believe her.

---

Shadowcrest is large and magnificent, an impressive sight to behold.

We'd left the underground chamber behind, coming up into an unidentifiable barren plains. Sand blows into my face with the cold night winds, as Zatanna chants an incantation that… through my sixth sense, seems rusty with disuse.

Metaphorical gates creak open on squeaky hinges, heavy and unkept. Then, through some physics-breaking miracle, space bleeds away to reveal Shadowcrest.

As we step over an invisible threshold, the backdrop changes from a sandy plains to a tree-filled thicket. The light of the moon casts shadows in the clearly uninhabited, abandoned manor, but it is less 'menacing', and more… 'mournful'.

We make the quick trip up the entrance's many stairs, which don't seem to correlate in exertion and length. The front doors stand over two metres tall, solid wood. Zatanna lays a hand on it and there is a pulse of magic, her hand the epicentre and a wave rippling out over the building, awakening it.

She sighs, almost wistfully. "Welcome home." She says so quietly, not meaning for anyone else to overhear.

Then she pushes the great door open. The double doors continue their swing, stopping just before their full arc. Incandescent lights bloom into being, illuminating all the rooms. As we walk in, the doors shut behind us on their own.

Zatanna and her father murmur amongst themselves, discussing. I try not to get in their way, looking around their main hall instead.

The house itself was designed to look like those luxurious western mansions, old and stately. Several of the chairs and tables were the antique kind, with the curved legs and clawed feet. There were allowances in the decoration, filled in with modern devices for convenience's sake -- light bulbs, digital panels, control switches. Framed magazine covers and newspaper clippings of Giovanni Zatara's performances hung on the wall.

It looked clean, but unlived in.

There's a digital clock perched on the side-table by the entrance, softly blinking, with the date displayed underneath.

30th November
03:14 EDT

"Is something wrong?" My body is tensed, I may have lingered too long...

"It was… February for me, last I remember." I look away, rubbing the back of my neck. "Sorry, could I use your bathroom?"

I get pointed in the right direction with just a slight look of concern, and carefully close the door behind me, fiddling with the unfamiliar lock. It clicks shut, and I turn around the face the room, back pressed against solid wood.

It's fancy, like the rest of the manor, but not exorbitantly so. Disregarding everything else that has happened, I could just pretend that I was using the bathroom at a friend's house, staying over for the night.

There's a large square mirror hanging over the sink.

I'm not sure what I expect to see. I put the palms of my hands on the edges of the marble countertop, leaning forwards into the mirror. Still with the same fair face and long-ish straight hair. Still with the glasses and T-shirt and jeans. Same body; long limbs on the outer edge of gangly, been slowly trying to fill them out as I grew older. Tall for an Asian, but average everywhere else.

My eyes are dark brown, but on the very edge of the iris, there is a faint corona of gold.

Okay. Okay.

I didn't really have a reason to excuse myself apart from this. I'm not sure if this confirmation even benefited anything. The silence is suddenly deafening, so very apparent that it's quiet after all that had happened in the past few hours.

I run the tap and wash my face, at least giving me a reason to be here.

Okay. This is happening. You really can't ignore it any longer, Lee.

When I get back to the hall, I spot Zatanna's dark hair in the connected sitting room, and present myself at the doorway. She's seated on the sofa, legs pulled up under her. She rests an arm over her eyes, and I'm worried she's fallen asleep, but she stirs as I approach and sits upright, turning to face me.

"Dad's gone to bed. He's… quite exhausted." Zatanna looks away as she says that, but it doesn't quite hide the tightening of the corners of her lips. She turns back to meet my eyes. "Are you tired? We can find a place for you to sleep."

"No, I'm quite awake, actually." My body clock tells me that I think it's still mid-morning, and after what just occurred, I don't think I'm ready to sleep yet. "Thanks, though…"

She gestures to the sofa across from her. "Might as well join me, then. I have a meeting in just a few hours. Don't think it's worth it to risk oversleeping to."

It's said in jest, and I do her the courtesy of a small chuckle. She relaxes minutely, though not completely.

"Do you… think you can remember anything more about yourself?"

The thing is, it's not that I don't remember -- I can recall my history, but only in broad strokes and partial images. I was a uni student, studying programming overseas at (I can't remember) in (what country?). I enjoyed drawing and reading stories; my favourite book was (something about colours). Recently, I was really into a show called --

Thinking about it this way just worked me up. "Honestly, I can probably tell you more about yourself than me."

"Really?" She leans forward challengingly, grin growing wider. "Try me."

"Right." I steeple my fingers, elbows on my knees and fingertips on my lips. I point the triangle my fingers make forwards. "Zatanna Zatara."

As I think on her name, the details come up with more ease than when I try to think about my own. "Only child of Giovanni Zatara, who's a stage magician as well as a member of the Justice League." Dates and times and specifics on mystic theory, comparisons of strengths and weaknesses in combat -- "You've taken after his skills and are following in his footsteps."

I pause, and she notices. A questioning sound. "I um. Think that some of my knowledge is coming from…" Nabu, but I couldn't bring myself to say his name around her.

"Go on."

Children fighting, young at war -- "You're part of a youth team under the supervision of the Justice League, have been for several years." A meeting. "Oh, but you're getting promoted?" Scandalous news, righteous, protective anger. "You've dated… what's his name, Robin."

"Nightwing now, and only for a bit."

"You really like…" A wisp, a child's voice saying 'These are my favourite!' "...delphiniums?"

And she flinches.

"I -- I, oh crap, that was probably going too far, it felt like something I shouldn't have known, sorry -- "

I trail off my babble as she composes her thoughts. "No, it's not your fault. That was just… something I'd only ever shared with my father."

"Oh." God, the tension in the room just skyrocketed. Her thoughts whir loudly as her mind jumps to the implications. From the tightening of her lips, a negative conclusion. I can follow her train of thought, but… I don't think it'll be any good to speculate when we can ask them in the morning.

There's something, I really want to ask now, though. And it's not like the atmosphere can get any worse.

"Can I ask… what was you plan? Because… well, with me here, it seems like I was the wrench that was thrown into it."

She hesitates, but it's more of considering how to word something pause. "The ritual was to seal Nabu's essence in the Astral Plane. It's supposed to be a one-way trip, so he couldn't even reform back here." A wry tilt of the lips. "That didn't work."

"Mmm… But, Kent Nelson -- he sent us back. He said that there had to be a Lord of Order on earth to counter Klarion, gave a whole explanation all 'doom on the world' style, actually."

"Did he?" There's a twinkle in her eyes as she imagines the scene.

"Yeah, it'll probably be funny to think about in the future."

She puckers her lips as she thinks about what to say next. "Well, if it had worked on him, the Justice League would've gotten my dad back, a magical fighter. I'm sure altogether we could've taken down Klarion the same way, then we wouldn't have to worry about either of them -- "

-- Sudden and overwhelming and bursting open --

"You're a fool." Nabu says with my voice, as I'm suddenly thrown back into the window-seat of my mind. The abruptness of the shift leaves me completely disoriented, haphazardly clinging to any senses to stabilize myself.

I see Zatanna's eyes widen, see her jumping to alertness, see her ready a combat-stance.

Nabu. Nabu you can't hurt her.

We hadn't changed in appearance, still sitting in jeans and T-shirt, but from the way Zatanna looks at me, I can tell my eyes have fully taken on a golden hue. Nabu lifts my posture, sitting ramrod straight, hands in fists on my knees.

"You think to control forces with power you can barely imagine, overthrow authorities which keep this world in Order -- "

"And yet." Zatanna speaks in even, tempered tones, outrage controlled by sheer will. "I took you down."

"You fight with Chaos! It has tainted you!" Nabu shoots to his feet, staring her down. "And now you seek to turn my host against me. I will warn you now, there will be consequences."

"I have no quarrel with Lee." Her eyes are so incredibly hard, diamond plates containing a raging storm. "I don't know why he was dragged into this. As far as I'm concerned, he's innocent."

"We are now merged. We are now one. This boy's only anchor to this world is me." There is malice in my voice that is uncharacteristic, jarring. "If you repeat that ritual, he will die."

Zatanna goes quiet. Nabu turns away.

"We are leaving."

 

[ptbptb]

Zatanna goes quiet. Nabu turns away.

"We are leaving."

Click to shrink...

Then they get an apartment, and thus begins the Young Justice version of The Odd Couple.

 

[Amrynel]

Nabu is an ass.

... I was going to say more, but on reflection, yeah, that pretty much sums him up. You've nailed his arrogance pride hubris (?) well.

 

[Night_stalker]

Nabu is an ass.

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Considering he got left on a shelf for some decades, was used once or twice, then left without a host despite Wally saying he'd find one, finally gets a host, and then gets tossed OUT of said host, leading him now to be stuck in this new state?

The fact that he's not busy turning people into mulch is a sign of how orderly his temper must be.

 

[NakedFury]

Considering he got left on a shelf for some decades, was used once or twice, then left without a host despite Wally saying he'd find one, finally gets a host, and then gets tossed OUT of said host, leading him now to be stuck in this new state?

The fact that he's not busy turning people into mulch is a sign of how orderly his temper must be.

Click to shrink...

Agreed. With your comment completely.

Would have been even better if by the time he and Nabu came back the League or Zatanna had been beaten black and blue by Klarion just to show what not having Nabu protecting them would be like.

 

[Skeletickles]

Nabu taking control all the time is going to get old fast.

 

[Queshire]

Though since this evidently during season 2 it means that Nabu's had a host for the last... Was it 5 years?

Neat to see a story starting there by the by.

 

[Night_stalker]

Agreed. With your comment completely.

Would have been even better if by the time he and Nabu came back the League or Zatanna had been beaten black and blue by Klarion just to show what not having Nabu protecting them would be like.

Click to shrink...

As it is, I'm expecting the League to be really angry because this could've left Klarion able to run around unchecked, and without a really big magic user on their side.

 

[redf1ve]

Cool. Nabu does have a good point, still a major jerk about it.

Side note, what's the pink text for?

 

[Charlezany]

As it is, I'm expecting the League to be really angry because this could've left Klarion able to run around unchecked, and without a really big magic user on their side.

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Yeah seriously. Witch girl was anything but responsible here.

 

[FancyMolasses]

Good chapter, as expected!

Lee being a University student is a nice touch, puts him in a similar age range to original Team while still making him an outsider due to his connection to Nabu. It'll be interesting to see how the rest of them react to someone connected with the entity that caused one of their friends so much pain for so long. I like the gold as well, it's a nice use of meta-textual elements.

Looking forward to the next update!

 

[Amrynel]

Considering he got left on a shelf for some decades, was used once or twice, then left without a host despite Wally saying he'd find one, finally gets a host, and then gets tossed OUT of said host, leading him now to be stuck in this new state?

Click to shrink...

And he wouldn't be in this new state if he hadn't decided to enslave said host. It's not that I disagree with his motivations, I'd be upset too. It's that I disagree with his methods. Nabu decided the ends justify the means; for him to be upset with the consequences, without acknowledging his own complicity, is hypocrisy of the - wordplay not originally intended - highest order.

 

[Charlezany]

And he wouldn't be in this new state if he hadn't decided to enslave said host. It's not that I disagree with his motivations, I'd be upset too. It's that I disagree with his methods. Nabu decided the ends justify the means; for him to be upset with the consequences, without acknowledging his own complicity, is hypocrisy of the - wordplay not originally intended - highest order.

Click to shrink...

Well no, it's not hypocrisy, he holds everyone else to the same standard. That standard precludes acting against the greater good, which is what witch girl did here.

 

[Lockedaisical]

Nabu is an ass.

... I was going to say more, but on reflection, yeah, that pretty much sums him up. You've nailed his arrogance pride hubris (?) well.

Click to shrink...

A lot of his dialogue writes itself and the entire time I'm going. "Oh my god. He is a dick. He is such a dick."

Considering he got left on a shelf for some decades, was used once or twice, then left without a host despite Wally saying he'd find one, finally gets a host, and then gets tossed OUT of said host, leading him now to be stuck in this new state?

The fact that he's not busy turning people into mulch is a sign of how orderly his temper must be.

Click to shrink...

^^^^

Nabu taking control all the time is going to get old fast.

Click to shrink...

Noted, they're going to work it out in *checks notes* about 3 updates

Cool. Nabu does have a good point, still a major jerk about it.

Side note, what's the pink text for?

Click to shrink...

Tune in next time when I try to hopefully explain things in context and not write inconsistently!

Good chapter, as expected!

Lee being a University student is a nice touch, puts him in a similar age range to original Team while still making him an outsider due to his connection to Nabu. It'll be interesting to see how the rest of them react to someone connected with the entity that caused one of their friends so much pain for so long. I like the gold as well, it's a nice use of meta-textual elements.

Looking forward to the next update!

Click to shrink...

Thanks man!! I am soooo psyched to get to the other characters, but honestly a lot of the exposition seems to need to happen now; doesn't make sense putting it off. Hopefully it won't be too boring before we can get to the fun parts!

---

Side note, my hand slipped and I ended up sketching a 'cover' kind of deal (I am honestly more active as an artist than a writer... this is the first fic I've posted in years.)
I might fully render it one day, but I don't really have time now haha gosh,,​

​

 

[Axiomatic]

Fully render it...you call THAT a sketch?!

 

[arondight]

please thread mark your cover image its very good

 

[FancyMolasses]

Damn, a writer and an artist! Next we'll find out you can dance, then you'll be a genuine triple threat!

For real though, the cover image is very nice. I especially like the expression on Lee's face.

 

[Lockedaisical]

Fully render it...you call THAT a sketch?!

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Rendering is a painful and lengthy process in which many, many tears are shed and mortality is contemplated. This was just something fun, and I had the composition stuck in my head for days anyway haha

please thread mark your cover image its very good

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thanks omg!! no worries, I edited the first post to include it

Damn, a writer and an artist! Next we'll find out you can dance, then you'll be a genuine triple threat!

For real though, the cover image is very nice. I especially like the expression on Lee's face.

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oh man I guess I better get onto those lessons -- ! Haha thanks a lot man!

 

[Charlezany]

A lot of his dialogue writes itself and the entire time I'm going. "Oh my god. He is a dick. He is such a dick."


^^^^


Noted, they're going to work it out in *checks notes* about 3 updates


Tune in next time when I try to hopefully explain things in context and not write inconsistently!


Thanks man!! I am soooo psyched to get to the other characters, but honestly a lot of the exposition seems to need to happen now; doesn't make sense putting it off. Hopefully it won't be too boring before we can get to the fun parts!

---

Side note, my hand slipped and I ended up sketching a 'cover' kind of deal (I am honestly more active as an artist than a writer... this is the first fic I've posted in years.)
I might fully render it one day, but I don't really have time now haha gosh,,​

​

Click to shrink...

Yo Nabu gave him a new body in a different world and didn't even fix his eyesight? Nabu really is a dick.

 

[King Arthur]

As it is, I'm expecting the League to be really angry because this could've left Klarion able to run around unchecked, and without a really big magic user on their side.

Click to shrink...

I mean, I don't think there going to be too angry with someone for trying to rescue their father despite the danger, especially when it seems to have worked out fine.

 

[Night_stalker]

I mean, I don't think there going to be too angry with someone for trying to rescue their father despite the danger, especially when it seems to have worked out fine.

Click to shrink...

And if Nabu hadn't found a way to be back?

Then they'd have Klarion around, with no Lord of Order to stop him. Bang up exchange there.

 

[zhuull]

Though since this evidently during season 2 it means that Nabu's had a host for the last... Was it 5 years?

Neat to see a story starting there by the by.

Click to shrink...

And in 5 years he's utterly failed to defeat Klarion. Truly what would the world do without him. /s

 

[Unity_Seven]

Does anyone know why Nabu is bound to a helmet and doesn't get to run around like Klarion? Legit question.

And while it doesn't look like your going that route, please don't make Nabu into some sort of greater-good bad guy. I hate when people do that.