I would guess insufficient emotes to convey tone.
These three are all pretty good at conveying that you are joking.
/sarcasm or /joke or /troll can also work if you dislike emotes.
Also, I think you guys are way overthinking this name thing. She has a ridiculous name she introduces herself with. Who is the simplest and most likely source of a name for a person if it's not from her parents? (Hint: Who named the Dark Flame Master?)
[] Tell her how your powers work and that you're also saving another person. It'd probably be best if you are the one to kill this guy if he needs to be killed.
[] Question him first
-[]What do you ask about?
--[] Episode.
--[] Who he works for, will more be sent after you?
--[] What he knows about contractors.
[] Kill him yourself and quickly as you can, if that's what you and the girl decide is best.
[] Getting rid of bodies is something your new... friend would know, right?
Snippet Sub-vote
[] Introduce yourself
-[] Just your first name, of course.
[] Shinobu
8: In Cold Blood
"Wait, I need to kill him!" you interrupt her before she does anything drastic.
She tilts her head at you, her face blank.
"You need to kill him?" she asks.
Yes, that is what you said.
You need to calmly, and coldly kill him.
He can't possibly hurt anyone, but you still need to kill him.
For some reason you can't bring yourself to repeat it out loud.
You settle for nodding your head.
"Remuneration?" she asks.
"Yes, well not quite. It's complicated" you try to explain. You should certainly tell her about your power at least. "My power is a bit strange. By agreeing to help someone, I gain a power to save them. However, they wont be saved until, uh, someone close to them dies."
"Is it until someone dies, or until thou kills them?"
Her passive stare seemed hard. Accusatory.
"The latter," is all you say to clarify.
"How cruel," is the only thing she says before she turns away from Dramaturgie to look over the remains of your brief fight.
No, it was too one sided to call it a fight.
Massacre didn't fit either since there were only two bodies, and one was your own.
Conflict seemed too neat, too clean, like something happening to other people far away.
You couldn't stop yourself of thinking of it as a crime scene. A murder.
"I'm guessing that's Guillotinecutter there...you were the one that killed him, correct? I'm already saved. Were thou hoping to restore me to full power by killing Dramaturgie?"
"Ah, no. I'm also saving Episode." Episode. Guillotinecutter. Dramaturgie. You briefly wondered if all other contractors had such weird names.
"Oh," she said, chewing on her lip as she paused, "I was wondering where the kid went."
She tapped her foot as she thought for a moment, before suddenly tossing her sword at you!
Well, it was a lazy toss to you, but you still saw your life flash before your eyes! Fumbling, you manage to catch the sword without cutting yourself.
Dangerous!
Didn't anyone tell her to be careful with sharp objects?
"Well, thou can borrow that. I need to make a call anyway," she says, waving a cellphone she had pulled from somewhere as she walks away from you.
"You could have at least checked if I caught it!" you find yourself saying, but the woman just ignores you, leaving you to deal with the large man.
No, he had a name.
Draumaturgie.
Walking over to him, you find that he had managed to drag himself almost twenty feet down the road, but now he was lying still.
Stopping a reasonable distance from him, you can tell he is not doing well. Despite his tan, he is beginning to look pale, and he is breathing pretty rapidly.
"Dramaturgie" you call out to him.
"Yes?" he lets out breathlessly, turn his head slightly to look at you.
"You said you'd answer some questions. What can you tell me about Episode?" you're not sure if he's going to last long, so you go right to the point.
"A lot," is his only reply. It doesn't seem that he's willing to be that cooperative.
Not that you blame him.
"Something more specific," you ask, crouching down so he doesn't have to strain to look at you.
"He's a brat."
Sighing, you move onto your other questions. "Who do you work for? Will more people be sent after me?"
"The same people she used to work for, before she came to this land. And it depends on a lot of things that I don't know if more will come after you," he answers, unhelpfully, his breathing increasing in pace.
"What do you know about contractors?" you ask, but you realize that he is no longer looking directly at you.
His mouth moves, but you only manage to hear a single word before it seems he is done talking.
Despair.
Knowing that he is on death's door, you quickly stand and raise the katana, but something stops you.
You couldn't do this.
There was no way you could do this.
You may have killed the priest, but it was mostly an accident.
You just punched him and he died.
In the heat of the moment.
This was different. It was entirely different. Dramaturgie couldn't even talk.
The only person in front of your eyes that needed saving was him.
It didn't matter that he was already going to die.
It didn't matter that his death was already your fault.
She was standing close to you, tears falling down her face as she looks up at you in pity.
You weren't the one who deserved pity here.
"Araragi-san, you need to kill him, or you'll die."
You felt that this should be a strong reason to kill someone.
Kill or be killed.
Yet somehow, you couldn't bring yourself to kill him to save yourself.
"If you die, what do you think will happen? Dramaturgie isn't going to live, even if you called an ambulance for him. Episode wont be saved if you don't do anything. "
Those were all good reasons, but you still couldn't force yourself to bring the sword down.
Biting her lip, she spends a long moment studying you before she speaks again.
"If you die, I'll disappear."
It's at this point you remember she said she was downloaded into your brain.
If you die, she dies as well?
You feel something inside you shift, and you are no longer frozen.
The mountain of despair inside you drained away. It couldn't have taken longer than an instant, but it seemed like an eternity as, thought by thought, feeling by feeling, it all was simply...moved somewhere.
You were no longer a Hero of Justice. All your ideals had vanished along with Gullotinecutter's life. You were a murderer, a criminal, an enemy of justice.
And you felt nothing.
Therefore, you can do it.
You can kill him.
Somehow sensing your new-found determination, Hachikuji gives you a sad smile and pulls your arms down so she too can grip the hilt of the sword.
"Here. We'll do it together" she murmurs as she guides your hands, and by extension the sword, so the blade is only inches above the man's throat.
It takes almost no pressure at all.
There stood a blood-spattered high school boy, who for foolish reasons had traded away his normal life, and had twice murdered strangers in the middle of the street. You at least wanted to believe that boy wasn't you.
...
You feel drained as your power leaves you, though nowhere near the degree it had when the woman had been saved. Before your eyes, you watch as mist seems to appear out of thin air, bunch up and turn into Episode.
In fact, it turned into two Episodes, and his large cross.
They all fall to the ground, with the cross cracking the pavement beneath it.
Just how heavy was that thing?
Looking over the two Episodes you notice a few differences.
Namely, one was clearly dead and had a large part of his torso simply missing, and the other was panicked and alive.
"W-What did you do?" he demanded as he struggled to sit up, partially pinned by his dead twin.
"I'm not sure. I saved you, I guess?" you respond, shrugging. That was how your power was supposed to work, right?
"I'm saved? My power wont work! And there's this dead...me..." he trails off, staring at the body he had just pushed off of himself.
"Your power wont work?" the woman chimes in from right behind you.
You jump, whirling around to face her, nearly cutting her with her own katana, but she only smiles at you.
Though it is a mischievous smile.
"That is certainly an interesting power you have there. I would definitely say that he is saved," she continues. "His death will be recorded due to that extra body, and without powers...well, you're just a normal boy now."
Episode just sits there, staring at her wide eyed.
"Uh, speaking of extra bodies, what can we do about mine? I don't want people to think I'm dead." You interject. It's an important concern for you, particularly since your parents would be informed almost immediately.
"Oh? Thou are worried by a small thing like that? I will take care of it," the woman says reassuringly, dismissing the issue with a wave of her hand.
You wouldn't call taking care of a corpse a small issue.
Is she that used to this kind of thing?
It reminds you what the priest had claimed about her.
A tiny twinge of regret flows through the back of your mind.
"Well, since thou hast saved me, I decided to properly introduce myself. I am the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire. The Legendary Contractor. The Red Queen. The World's Strongest," the woman says with a dramatic flourish.
"Wait, a vampire?" you ask, "You suck blood?!"
Suddenly you are worried that you made a mistake somewhere.
You saved a vampire?
It's only after she shoots you a furious glare that you realize you spoke out loud and interrupted her introduction.
She looks like she wants to bite your head off.
Is she going to bite your head off?!
Fortunately, Episode's laughter interrupts before she can do anything.
"T-that's hilarious. She doesn't suck blood, she just calls herself a vampire to sound cool," he explains, shaking his head as if to say 'this can't be helped.'
"She can call herself that because she steals contractor's powers." he adds.
"Doesn't that mean she's a power thief, since there is no blood involved?" you reply.
After all, if there was one critical piece of a vampire story, it would be the blood.
"Oh, no, there's almost always lots of blood. It's why she's the "Red Queen." She steals your powers, then you die in a bloody mess," Episode casually corrects you.
It seems that he's recovering from the shock of the situation quickly.
Or he is just ignoring the issue.
Still you could see how getting power that way might meet the requirements of a 'vampire.' That was reassuring.
...
Wait, that isn't reassuring!
"That's enough, brat! How long did you plan on discussing me as if I was not here?" the subject of your conversation demands hotly.
You felt a bit bad that you had been rude.
Still, how else were you supposed to react to someone calling themselves a vampire?
"Continuing from where I left off from before I was so rudely interrupted, I am The World's Strongest, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade!" she announced.
You stare at her.
That's a name?
You couldn't even tell what was supposed to be her family name.
Who was naming these contractors?
"Tch. I guess thou would prefer my code name, since it is normal." her voice dripping with derision. "I have been given the name Shinobu to use here."
Shinobu?
Ah, how clever. It would be written with the kanji for heart under the kanji for blade.
"Since I've introduced myself, thou should do likewise." she said, eying you with a hint of interest.
"Oh, um..." you pause for a moment. You don't want to get your family involved in this. "I'm Koyomi. It's nice to meet you," you say with a short bow.
Shinobu just looks at you in confusion. "Calender? What kind of name is that?"
You're one to talk!
"It's the one my parent's gave me!" you protest, but you immediately regret it.
Why hadn't they given you a normal name? No one would mistake Hiroto or Ichiro for a weird codename.
You hadn't meant to reveal that. It was just supposed to be a name.
Shinobu smiles a predatory grin at you.
"Oh? You wanted me to call you by name? How forward of you, Koyomi," she teases.
You try not to respond, but you find yourself blushing.
How can you not when she doesn't even use any honorifics?!
"On to business then," she says moving on as if nothing happened, "In accordance with the Special Contractor Secrecy Act, you are hereby sworn to secrecy on the existence of contractors, under the penalty of law. Also, with the power invested in me by the state of Japan and the National Police Agency, as a contractor, you are hereby drafted into service of your country. Refusal is punishable by summary execution."
What.
"B-but I'm a juvenile! I haven't even finished high school!" you protest. And wasn't conscription illegal in Japan?
"Doesn't matter. Thou art a contractor. Japan has decided that they cannot just let superpowered people run about just because of a thing like age. Though they might let thee finish school, if dropping out was too noticeable." she says, reassuringly. "Do not worry, I'll make sure thou has a place to work under me in the Security Bureau, Koyomi. It's pretty fun!" she says, smiling at you, though it fails to reach her eyes.
[] Accept
[] Accept (lie)
[] What do you do in the Security Bureau?
[] Where else can I work?
[] Argue
-[]What do you say?
[] Refuse
-[]Do you have a plan?
[] Write-in
I guess this is what I get for skipping my usual editing process. I'll be editing some things in the latest snippet then. Are there any points/areas I should focus on?
Honestly, the only reason I'm not voting is because I don't think there are really any good options, being forced to make a choice we don't want to by Shinobu. So I'll just settle for whatever.
I guess this is what I get for skipping my usual editing process. I'll be editing some things in the latest snippet then. Are there any points/areas I should focus on?
The character interactions, I think, and Koyomi himself. The snip felt a little rushed, so while the kill itself was beautiful, the lead up and follow up both felt a little glossed.
After all, this is the death of a dream, no? Koyomi's innocence finally shattering? I feel that, for someone so Chuuni, a nice slice of Reality would break him a little harder.
But again- opinions, opinions. What to do with them?
Nice snip though.
Ok! Finally edited the last snippet a bit, made some things about his emotions text instead of sub-text, made it clearer who Shinobu is (currently) working for and that the people hunting her were foreigners, redid the end a bit and added another voting option.
Also, if it seems like you have no choice but to accept because you don't have any powers right now, you still have Shinobu's Katana that she gave you if you decide to fight. I wonder why she decided to give it to you?
All basic options are valid (non-bad end) paths for the story to take, though if you really, really try you could bad end. You'd have to work for it though.
What to do with Episode will come up (as in, he'll bring it up). As for someone living in your closet, while the Araragi house is huge, Koyomi doesn't have that much closet space, and unlike Ichigo from Bleach's sisters, Koyomi's sisters invade his room on a regular basis to "gently" wake him up. Though Episode is a boy, so he doesn't need to hide to avoid questions. Hmmm...I'm getting some ideas now...
What to do with Episode will come up (as in, he'll bring it up). As for someone living in your closet, while the Araragi house is huge, Koyomi doesn't have that much closet space, and unlike Ichigo from Bleach's sisters, Koyomi's sisters invade his room on a regular basis to "gently" wake him up. Though Episode is a boy, so he doesn't need to hide to avoid questions. Hmmm...I'm getting some ideas now...
"Before I agree to anything, mind telling me what you actually do in the security bureau?" you ask, cautiously.
It isn't that you don't want to work for the government.
You just don't want to have to work for the government.
Shinobu stares at you for a moment before she replies, "Is it not obvious? I protect Japan from dangerous contractors. Criminals, cult leaders, spies, I have fought all these and more!" She takes the time to dramatically pose, but unfortunately her over-sized dress prevents her looking anything but ridiculous.
Not that you'd say that to her.
"Well, most of the time I just wander about Japan. I came here because I heard it had some nice buildings and a pretty river," she explains.
"You're just sightseeing?" you ask.
She nearly died on a vacation? What sort of world have you gotten yourself involved in?
"Well, there have been rumors of a female thief in this area. She was almost caught, but she just flew away. Does that not sound like a very suspicious person, Koyomi?" she says in a self satisfied way.
You highly doubt she had done much investigating.
In fact, it would surprise you if she had done any investigating at all.
Even after having just met her, you knew.
She had definitely just come here for sightseeing.
"I would permit thou to investigate her with me. It is certainly better than the other options," she turns to give you a studying look. It's at this point you realize she is still slightly taller than you.
Not that you're bothered by that or anything.
"Hmmm, thou are not the military type, so the self-defense force is out. The power to save people who ask does not really lend itself to spy work, so the Naichō would not even want you. That leaves test subject. Would you like to further Japan's understanding of Contractors, Koyomi?" she asks with a predatory grin.
"Really, thou has only one choice; work with me," she says, before she turns and begins to walk away. She stops suddenly, tilting her head back in what must be an uncomfortable position so as to fix with an intense glare.
"Unless you intend to completely refuse?" she asks, coldly.
[] Give in
[] Accept, but wait to make a decision on where to work
[] Refuse
[] Write-in
[X] Accept, but wait to make a decision on where to work
-[X] On the off chance that I had refused your most wonderful offer, and decided I wanted to do something like work at a coffee shop or bakery, or even the mindless drone work of a salary-man and thus a life of mediocre normalcy with a side of saving people... What exactly would the response to that be?
[X] Accept, but wait to make a decision on where to work
-[X] On the off chance that I had refused your most wonderful offer, and decided I wanted to do something like work at a coffee shop or bakery, or even the mindless drone work of a salary-man and thus a life of mediocre normalcy with a side of saving people... What exactly would the response to that be?
[X] Accept, but wait to make a decision on where to work
-[X] On the off chance that I had refused your most wonderful offer, and decided I wanted to do something like work at a coffee shop or bakery, or even the mindless drone work of a salary-man and thus a life of mediocre normalcy with a side of saving people... What exactly would the response to that be?
