Remove ads

Cryptekial (Worm/WH40K)

Reader mode
A lot of comments like mine from before aren't meant to stress you out over what's written. We sometime just want to vent our minds on what we would have liked to do or what would be our reactions. I like to do that on particularly interesting stories like this one. What I'm doing is usually releasing a little bit of my muse after reading because I need to wait for the next chapter to find out what actually happens.

No worries on offending someone from what you write and stressing out over it. Think of what people want as them venting because they like your story and can't wait for the next chapter. Most if not all of those commenters are watching the thread because they like it.

So Good Job on the story. We like if not love the story which is why there are comments like that. I'd take it into the creepy factor and say I love you too but that's weird ad like stated before is creepy.

Thanks for reading this if you did and have a great day and don't push yourself.
 
No real foot in the water here, since I found both updates to be of quite good quality.

Would you like the poll taken down, now that it's run it its course?
 
@Noxturne90: I want to chime in here too; I don't normally comment on threads (more of a lurker), but I wanted to reiterate what some other folks have said: I really like this story, and I'm hoping that the prior criticism hasn't dissuaded you from continuing to work on it. I reread the latest chapter just now, and I do like the changes you've made, even if I thought the original chapter was also good. Here's another vote in the "please keep writing, I like your story" category :)
 
The writing is good, especially the last chapter. Was it believable? Yes. Was it in character? yes. Did the audience enjoy it.. I think so.

Part of our posting isn't criticism for what you wrote: it is speculation for what happens next. Piggot is panicking, and i think quite a few of us were having fun trying to see what could plausibly happen as a result of that. Or how to justify the whole scenario going FUBAR. That is always fun too. Don't sweat it too much.

Given that Piggot is in full panic mode right now her response in a day or two will likely be much more... thought out shall we say. Admittedly pure speculation- not criticizing your skill, or what you are trying to convey. We will understand as time passes, so chill out man.
 
I much prefer the changed version, it seems like a much more reasonable approach for Piggot to be taking.

Before, it seemed like she was attempting to pre-emptively punish and press-gang Taylor. Now, it looks much more like she's just going the extra mile to understand the mindset and secure the goodwill and safety of a tinker whose abilities make them more significant than the default Supplier Contacts are designed to deal with.
 
Dark Abstraction said:
I much prefer the changed version, it seems like a much more reasonable approach for Piggot to be taking.

Before, it seemed like she was attempting to pre-emptively punish and press-gang Taylor. Now, it looks much more like she's just going the extra mile to understand the mindset and secure the goodwill and safety of a tinker whose abilities make them more significant than the default Supplier Contacts are designed to deal with.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
This, so much this.
 
Okay if that doesn't settle everyone down it's on them. The rewrite is the perfect tone a political person who's angry would use. I thank you for killing the rants.
 
Necron culture have an interesting political bent to it. Lords constantly vie for power and influence, often playing the long game and faking loyalty until it is the right time to strike. I'd like to see some of that happen in this story.

Some food for thought for the next chapter: when Taylor and Piggot meet, Piggot will inevitably do whatever she can to get Taylor in the Wards or failing that, give away as much agency to the PRT as humanly possible. Being only a fifteen year old girl who's been abused since forever, Taylor gets bulldozed in the verbal warfare game. Then, just as she's about to cave and sell herself into indentured servitude, a switch flips in her mind and her inner Nemensor takes over.

Taylor sits up straight and calmly starts to think about her situation. She works out what she has, what she wants, and in what way the PRT can be an ally or an obstacle. In less than a minute, thanks to her personal knowledge of the world and her 'experience' as a Necron Lord, she works out a plan of action. She turns the tables on Piggot, appealing to her ego, personal biases, and the wedge between the PRT and Protectorate to maneuver the director in a position where she has no choice but to give Taylor her tech back and sign the supplier contract. The two shake hands and part ways.

Then Taylor gets home and barfs up her breakfast while wondering what the heck just happened. Meanwhile, in a different time and place, a Necron Lord cackles madly.
 
Logos said:
No real foot in the water here, since I found both updates to be of quite good quality.

Would you like the poll taken down, now that it's run it its course?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Yes please.

Since I otherwise don't know how to do it....

I've managed to get in some brainstorming, so hopefully I can start work on a chapter today, and have it out by Wednesday at the hopefully latest.

Stray thought of the day...

Why Destroy, when you can Remake?

Winged Deceiver anyone?
 
jwolfe_beta said:
Thing is from what I can tell here she got a Cryptek 'download'. From what little I can find they don't tend to play political games that much.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

They do, it's just a bit different then the ones played by the Lords. Cryptek's are in high demand. A good Cryptek is a powerful force multiplier for whoever has their service. Many of the most famous Cryptek's are functionally Lords in their own right, commanding their own forces and territory after amassing massive amounts of wealth and prestige. The most powerful are even able to make select demands of various Lords, in return for some small investment of their time and genius. In a sense, consider a powerful Cryptek like an independent Lord not loyal to any given Dynasty. The various factions can approach a Cryptek with offers to try and buy their service for a time, and many times a Cryptek will receive multiple offers and will have to make a choice over who is paying the best for their service.

Because of this, Cryptek's can be oddly political, especially the older, most powerful ones who can command IMMENSE bargains for their time and effort.
 
Man, this story is awesome but it brings back memories of the fic where Taylor had her skeleton replaced by Necrodermis and she bled necrodermis to make stuff....

Ahh, memories.

Stay Strong and carry on @Noxturne90
 
Seclorum said:
Man, this story is awesome but it brings back memories of the fic where Taylor had her skeleton replaced by Necrodermis and she bled necrodermis to make stuff....

Ahh, memories.

Stay Strong and carry on @Noxturne90
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I can't even remember who wrote that one.

On a side-note expansion of my last post, Battles between Cryptek's are not uncommon. Cryptek's from different disciplines, or even the same discipline, often come to conflict over any number of things. The most common is that one Cryptek has something that another wants. Or that one Cryptek is replaced by another in the service of a Lord. It's often mandatory that the new Cryptek displace the old one in a suitably gruesome and creative fashion.

Cryptek Battles are some of the most colorful in the Necron Empire, because you literally have no idea what will happen.
 
I remember that one... Wasn't it Wraithbone instead of Necrodermis? Or was... nevermind, there was a necrodermis one too.
 
Last edited:
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top