Cleaning Up After The Ancients (Stargate SI)

[Vaermina]

Chapter 69 - Good Day​

All things considered, Jack O'Neill would say the day had been going pretty well so far. The Ancient hadn't decided to hand them a series of vague warnings with the expectation that they would somehow muddle through things. He'd gotten to see Daniel walk around the base in heels. And Carter was at least temporarily back at the SGC to help out with everything they currently had going on.

Unfortunately it seemed like one of the other shoes might have finally decided to drop.

"When you say there's a problem with the vaccine, what exactly do you mean?" He asked Carolyn Lam, frowning down at the somewhat harried looking doctor who had stopped him in the hall. "Because I distinctly recall Doctor Beckett saying it was safe?"

And if it wasn't they were in a lot of trouble as he knew Doctor Weir had already begun inoculating her people.

"As far as I can tell from the notes he threw together it's perfectly safe." Doctor Lam confirmed, cringing slightly in a way that would have told Jack that a but was coming even without already knowing something was wrong. "But the problem is, I'm not sure how we can use it without risking the secrecy of the Stargate program."

Given the sheer number of strange things Jack had seen over the years that didn't exactly narrow things down any. So he nodded and motioned for the doctor to continue.

"As I'm sure you're aware, General. We've been studying the Ayiana contagion since you encountered it in Antarctica three years ago."

"I was surprisingly not." Jack admitted glibly, suspecting that it was probably somewhere in the piles of files in his DC office that he had yet to go through.

"Oh." Doctor Lam muttered, blinking in surprise. "I thought… Well, long story short, the researchers studying it have made zero progress in creating a cure or treatment because every time they find something that begins to work the virus mutates into something else."

Which somewhat confirmed what Evan had just told them about it, so that put at least a little bit of Jack's paranoia to rest.

"The Ancient's solution to that seems to have been to create a vaccine which…" Doctor Lam continued, only to bite her bottom lip and grimace slightly. "Well, to make a long explanation short, prevents nearly everything."

It was Jack's turn to blink in surprise as he tried to process that. "And by nearly everything you mean?"

"Think Tretonin." Doctor Lam said grimly. "Only without the dependency and immunosuppression issues."

"So, dose a week for perfect health?" Jack asked just to make sure he was understanding exactly what she was saying.

Doctor Lam shook her head. "According to the Ancients, the only recorded cases of it ever wearing off were people with healing abilities who consciously or unconsciously wanted it to wear off."

Put like that Jack could see the problem, because there it would stretch the Stargate program to the absolute limit to try and fake the development trail for a lifelong cure for functionally everything. Though that trouble absolutely paled in comparison to the political fight he could see coming when the IOA found out the US military was now holding onto a hundred thousand doses of the stuff.

"So what do you think we should do with it?"

Doctor Lam pointed at herself in surprise. "Me?"

Jack nodded. "You're the new head doc."

Pursing her lips, she seemed to consider Jack's question. "Well, by withholding it we'd be condemning hundreds of millions of people to easily preventable deaths." She paused for a moment before letting out a tired sigh.

"And I know that's something of a regular occurrence with the things we bring back through the stargate. But working at the CDC I've seen first hand just how bad disease can get elsewhere in the world, and this dwarfs the number of lives that would have been saved by other things by entire orders of magnitude."

The number of times Jack had asked himself the question of how many lives they could save by releasing the technology they'd brought back through the gate was not small. Debates about non-lethal weaponry in particular often had him flashing back to what happened to Charlie and asking himself just how many other kids could be saved from similar by pushing that technology out and damn the consequences.

But that was neither here nor now, because he hadn't been asking her about that.

"I meant more we as in the SGC." Jack offered as the corner of his lip twitched slightly.

"Oh." Doctor Lam muttered in a small tone, blushing in clear embarrassment before taking a breath to center herself.

"Personal preference of not having to deal with the constant string of soldiers coming back through the gate with STDs any longer aside. I don't think we can afford not to."

Even with the new information that had pretty much been Jack's thought on the subject, but it was always good to get an expert opinion reinforcing his own.

"My one suggestion." She continued. "Would be that we make sure to put everyone through the ATA gene therapy first. As I'm something like ninety nine percent sure the retrovirus used for that will get attacked by the improved immune systems just like everything else."

They hadn't made that particular treatment mandatory yet for a number of ethical reasons, but Jack knew just how close of a judgement that had been given how important the ability to operate Ancient technology was for the program's general mandate.

"Then I'll leave that to you to put together." Jack said, making a shooing motion to show that she was dismissed before turning and continuing down the hall.

He made it half a dozen steps before she called out. "In that case General, I'll expect you in for your shot by the end of the day."

That tone was familiar enough from his years with Fraiser to know any attempt at argument would just delay the inevitable, so he gave an over the shoulder wave so she'd know he'd heard before rounding the corner.

Given the inherent danger of alien weaponry, they had decided on Carter's old lab as the best place to go over the various things Evan had brought them from Atlantis. So walking into the lab, Jack had half expected to see the newly arrived woman already hip deep in hooking up one of the devices to various sensors.

Instead however she seemed to be glaring at one of the ancienty looking crates as if the thing had somehow offended her on a personal level.

"Carter." Jack put forward carefully, experience having taught him to tread carefully when something had annoyed her that much. "Do I need to get a crowbar?"

"I already tried that." Sam muttered distractedly, pointing to a nearby bar of metal hanging off one of the shelf hooks as she worked to secure a pair of some sort of clamps onto the edge of the container.

He had only been joking about the crowbar, that she hadn't caught that, or ever looked up to greet him, suggested it was probably past time to try and drag the Lieutenant Colonel away from her box shaped problem.

Walking over to the table she was working at he knocked on the crate a couple times with his knuckles. "Seems pretty solid."

"I think it's some sort of trinium alloy." Sam said, finally looking up at him only to blink in surprise. "Sir, I…" She shook her head before straightening up and shooting him a wry grin. "Sorry, I've just been banging my head against a rock trying to open this thing since the Atlantis team brought them in."

That it was an Ancient packing crate of all things that had her so stumped was more than a little amusing, but Jack knew Sam would absolutely make him pay if he ribbed her about it.

"Have you tried waving a hand over it and saying open sesame?" He joked, passing his hands over the top of the crate as he said the last.

A pneumatic hiss sounded out and the top lifted off the crate, leaving them both staring dumbly at it for a moment before Sam turned a dirty look towards him.

"I had absolutely no idea that would work." Jack confessed in case she might be thinking that he had purposefully done that.

He looked down at the now open crate for a moment before frowning as a thought hit him. "Do you think it was the hand wave or the open sesame? Because if it's the second I'm going to have to have a talk with Doctor Weir about the amount of media they've been showing off to our new allies."


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Author's Note: I think that ship sailed long before you were born, Jack.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 70 - Back to the Job​

Even though from Eventus's perspective it had only been a little over three months since the last time he had done something similar, it still felt more than a little nostalgic to be sitting next to his toolbox and working on fixing such a low stakes problem as an unhappy pair that had been body swapped.

Though he would admit, if only to himself due to how petty it was, that he'd much rather be doing this in one of Atlantis's colorful well lit rooms then the dimly lit military grey lab he was currently working in.

"Please stop fidgeting." Eventus told Vala as he once more adjusted the position of the trio of quintessence waveform scanners that she was standing in the middle of.

"Why can't Daniel do this?" Vala complained, looking over to a nearby desk where her own body was flipping through a large leatherbound book with an intensity that suggested a purposeful attempt to tune out the rest of the room.

"He's next." Eventus said, typing a command string into his laptop interface that caused crystals in the scanning array to briefly light up the room in a respectable impression of a rainbow colored strobe light.

"Gah!"

Ignoring the now rapidly blinking Vala's shock, Eventus studied the extraordinarily large amount of information coming up on the holographic display with a frown.

Just the preliminary data was enough to tell the Lantean that Daniel Jackson's body was anything but normal, something he really should have expected given the many uncertainties connected to someone unascending. However that also left him with a bit of a problem since he didn't know what the body's baseline might be.

"Daniel?" He called out, waiting a moment till the Archaeologist looked up from his book before continuing. "I know this is probably a reach given the circumstances, but is there any chance you recall the quintessence baseline you picked out for your body when you returned to corporal existence?"

Daniel furrowed his brow in consideration before shaking his head. "As far as I know the others returned me the same as I was before I ascended."

"I'll take that as a no." Eventus muttered as he turned back to the keyboard and began scrolling through the data in more depth.

Several more minutes was enough to at least narrow down the energy fields likely involved in the swap, so he looked back up and motioned to the pair. "Swap places please."

"Finally." Vala muttered, all but jumping away from the scanning array.

Carefully closing the large book, Daniel let out a sigh and rose to his feet, taking a moment to stretch out the kinks that had formed in his borrowed body's back before heading over to stand at the same location his own body had been mere moments before.

"You can use a stool if you want." Eventus told Daniel in an idle tone as the Lantean entered the commands to bring up a blank profile.

"Hey!?" Vala protested as the relieved Daniel stepped over to grab one of the chairs. "How come you didn't tell me I could bring something to sit on!?"

"Because he's currently cuter than you." Eventus said, the corner of his lip twitching slightly at the joke.

Vala held up a finger in the obvious beginnings of protest only to stop before she got out even a single word as the realization seemed to hit that he was talking about a person currently inhabiting her own body.

Letting out a humph, the bodyswapped woman crossed her arms and pouted at Eventus. "Even in dear Daniel's body I'm still plenty cute."

Eventus made a so-so motion with one of his hands while he used the other to adjust the scanning array for the newly seated target. "I would say you're more of a ruggedly handsome scoundrel at the moment."

"I can work with that." Vala admitted, sounding oddly happy at the idea.

"Please stop leading her on." Daniel begged tiredly.

Once more the crystals on the scanning array strobed rainbow, and Eventus began to go through the somewhat more normal data with a frown.

"This explains so much." He muttered half to himself as he reached the portion of the data outlining the genetic analysis on Vala's body.

He'd wondered for centuries why the Ori had used Vala of all people to carry their Orici given one human should have been the same as any other so far as the idea of implanting a genetically engineered embryo into was concerned.

"Did you figure something out?" Daniel inquired hopefully.

"Several things." Eventus admitted. "Vala is descended from one of my people, has an odd form of naquadah permeating her blood and bone marrow, and seems to have unknown alien genetic markers partially grafted onto her DNA."

Which he'd bet the still half filled box of jelly filled donuts he'd been brought was Goa'uld DNA, something he now suspected the Ori had used to create a bastardized version of a harcesis containing a large portion of their own accumulated knowledge.

"Didn't know about the first." Vala admitted as she crunched on a chip from the bag she had grabbed from the counter. "But the last two you can probably blame on Qetesh."

"A Goa'uld." Daniel added in after a moment when Vala didn't expand any further. "I don't know how much you've been told about them?" He floated questioningly.

"A symbiotic species that uses their abilities to take over human bodies and pretend they are gods." Eventus said idly as he switched the interface to display an aetheric overlay of Vala's body. "I assume there's more to it than just that though given how shallow of an existence that would be."

"No." Vala corrected in an oddly flippant tone. "It was pretty much just years of sex, drugs, and lording her superiority over others."

Vala shook her head pityingly. "The worst part of it though? She wasn't even half as good at it as she thought she was."

Daniel turned a frown of disapproval at Vala, very clearly missing the coping mechanism behind the former host's words.

"By it do you mean the sex? Or her attempts to lord over others?" Eventus inquired to play along.

"The sex." Vala confirmed with a grin, the tinge of relief accompanying the words just barely audible in her tone. "I don't know how, given she was in me at the time and I can go for hours, but fifteen minutes in and out and she'd be done for the night."

Glancing up from the display to confirm the look of complete mortification on Daniel's face, Eventus let a look of idle curiosity fall across his features as he turned to Vala. "And Daniel?"

"Oh, he hasn't tried it yet." Vala admitted with a put upon sigh. "I keep telling him it would be fine, but he has this silly notion that it would be disrespectful to me."

"Earthlings really do have a lot of odd hangups when it comes to sex, don't they?" Eventus asked her in amusement, feeling the sudden desire to share some of his own stories of the subject. "In the decades I was dating my last girlfriend we flipped our sexes, swapped bodies, even joined in on a couple multi-partner affairs."

"Decades?" Vala mused, sounding almost intrigued at the thought. "Good on you. I take it she ascended or something?"

"She was trying to evacuate a primitive culture from a planet that was about to fall behind the front lines of our battle with the Wraith." Eventus admitted as he zeroed in a particular pair of entangled energy fields which shared several commonalities with higher domain energy utilized by the projection stones. "The lines shifted before she could, and the Wraith cut off access to the stargate. Which was her only way back since she wasn't high enough priority to risk diverting one of our few remaining high speed transports to evacuate."

He had been more than a little angry about that at the time, and even made a public enough spectacle about the issue that he had received an "explanation" in his inbox from an unknown member of the council showing that it had been a hard choice between her and seventy others trapped in the Sinaris outpost.

"Well." He offered, looking up at the pair with a smile. "You'll be relieved to know I have some good news."

"Please say you can change us back?" Daniel desperately pleaded.

"I can not." Eventus informed him with an apologetic shrug. "As far as I can tell, the effect of the projection stones was impressed onto your physical forms in such a way that you're both basically projecting yourselves into each other's bodies."

Which had only occurred because of the combination of the Goa'uld bracelets and the signals getting mixed around when the amplifier had tried to compensate for one of the stones being removed to keep the connection active.

"The good news is that the energy field generating that effect seems to be slowly fading."

"Oh thank god." Daniel muttered, slumping down in naked relief.

Vala pursed her lips in thought. "So what? A couple days and we'll be back to normal?"

Eventus winced and made a circular motion with two of his fingers. "Longer."

"Weeks?" Daniel followed up as the look of dread seemed to be slowly returning.

"Longer." Eventus repeated.

"Months?" Vala tried.

"I'd say somewhere between two to six." Eventus confirmed with a nod before cocking his head in consideration. "Assuming you aren't exposed to anything that might cause the entanglement to regain energy or somehow become self-sustaining."

A moderate amount of panic seemed to fall upon Daniel at the last, so Eventus held up a hand to forestall his worry. "Don't worry though, if the last does happen the whole thing moves into long term problem territory. In which case we can bring you both back to Atlantis and use the better equipment there to try and figure out how to safely break the entanglement without killing you."


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Author's Notes: Which might take a year or two to figure out, but Daniel doesn't need to know that at the moment.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 71 - Space Gun Testing​

Even though Evan had mentioned doing so, Jack had still been moderately surprised to see the actual inclusion of user manuals in the crates of advanced space weaponry. More surprising though, was the fact he had apparently decided to put them together with the expected standard of reader being the average US military grunt.

"Do you think he added the stick figures specifically with us in mind?" Jack asked idly as he paged through the odd plastic like pages of the small booklet.

Sam glanced away from the firing brace she was securing one of the very sci-fi looking rifles to. "Given the induction plate design looks like it was pieced together from scans of equipment we sent to Atlantis, I'm going to guess everything here was written specifically with us in mind."

Given the Ancient had only found out about the Ori a couple days ago that was an impressive amount of work. And it went a long way to explain why the man had looked like he probably hadn't gotten more then a handful of hours of sleep in the past week.

"So what do you think? Usable? Or likely to end up in the same bin as all those sets of Kull armor we recovered?"

It still annoyed him that Anubis had rigged the super material on those to begin decaying after a few months without whatever treatment he had rigged up to preserve it. But he had to give it to the old bastard since it at least meant that all the other groups that had captured suits of the stuff weren't using it against them.

Pursing her lips in thought for a moment, Sam finally gave him a tentative nod. "The ergonomics look good compared to most of the stuff we usually see, the crystal power cells for everything but the big gun are rechargeable by us, and he included enough extra of those that we could swap out in the middle of a firefight if needed. So assuming the fire tests confirm the minimum level of combat effectiveness I'd give an okay for at least the rifles."

Which was pretty much what Jack himself had been thinking, since as cool as the other two looked on paper, the over-penetration issues made them giant liabilities in an actual fight. Though he did kind of want to see Teal'c try and use the big one to shoot down an Al'kesh at least once.

Giving the weapon a light shake Sam nodded to herself when it didn't dislodge from the brace and then walked over to join Jack behind the observation room's ballistic glass.

Sitting down in the chair next to him, Sam took a moment to type something into her laptop and a yellow force field shimmered into existence in front of the ballistic dummy at the end of the test range.

"Ancient rifle, test one." She narrated out loud for the test range's recorders to pick up. "Single shot, standard target dummy protected by Goa'uld force shield."

Hitting a key on her laptop, the remote trigger on the brace activated and with a loud crack a small hemispheral chunk of the ballistic dummy disappeared from existence.

"Looks like we're going to need the high speed replay." Sam muttered as she brought up the video on her laptop's screen.

The corner of the video showed a nice clear 32,000fps watermark, the same standard Jack knew that they'd used for testing various penetrator rounds for use against Jaffa armor. Thankfully that seemed to be enough, as the slower speed showed them a small bead of purple energy exiting the weapons barrel equivalent and passing through the force shield without even the slightest bit of notice before impacting the dummy with the exact same vanishing effect they'd seen with their own eyes.

"Muzzle velocity of twenty-one hundred feet per second." Sam went on. "Complete penetration of the force shield, and the projectile seems to have destroyed a small spherical portion of the test dummy with any effect that occurred too quickly for the cameras to catch."

Jack held little doubt that Sam would figure out the whats of the weapon given some time to work at it. Which would have put her on the list of need to know officers even if he fully bought into Evan's fear that the Ori's people could yank information from people's minds.

"Evan said it was a microsingularity."

Sam shot him an odd look. "Sir, if that had been a microsingularity every radiation detector in the room would be going off."

"He also mentioned something about compressed galvatron packets." Jack offered with a shrug, pretty sure he got at least a part of the technobabble wrong.

"Did you mean compressed graviton packets?" Sam inquired after a moment of consideration.

That sounded right to Jack, so he nodded and pointed a finger at her. "Yes, that."

"That's…" Sam began, her features pinching in a way long experience had taught Jack was a sure fire sign that she was trying to work out a particularly difficult technical problem. "I mean, I guess it would be theoretically possible to create a momentary zone of extreme gravity by compressing partially stabilized artificial gravitons. But you can't–"

"Carter." Jack interrupted, knowing the start of a lengthy digression when he heard it. "Weapon tests first, figuring out how the Ancients broke science later."

"Right." Sam said, ducking her head to hide the blush on her cheeks "Sorry sir."

Stepping out from behind the ballistic glass, she flipped the fire mode slider next to the trigger before returning to her laptop.

"Ancient rifle, test two." She announced. "Burst fire, standard target dummy protected by Goa'uld force shield."

Tapping the return key, three more cracks sounded out, and Jack could now see what was functionally a tube of missing material from the ballistic dummy extending nearly all the way through the structure.

"Huh." Sam muttered as she brought up the high speed replay, focusing on the video in a way that suggested she had noticed something he had missed.

"Carter?" Jack prompted as he watched the trio of purple beads impact the target and basically bore a hole into the structure of the dummy.

"There's no deviation." Sam said, rewinding the video to the point where the first impact occurred. "Look." She traced the path of the disappearing spheres of material with a finger. "Each of the projectiles hit in an exact straight line from where the barrel was pointed at the exact same velocity."

"And that matters?" Jack asked with a frown.

Sam nodded. "It suggests that the energy spheres might not interact with the environment until they hit a target."

She pursed her lips for a moment before looking over to him. "Do you mind if I try something a bit unorthodox?"

Knowing Sam wouldn't be asking if she didn't have a good reason for it, Jack gave a permissive wave. "Go ahead."

"Right." Sam muttered in the tone of someone who knew they might get in trouble for what they were about to do as she began typing something into her laptop.

Jack nearly jumped out of his chair as the test range's fire alarm went off, followed moments later by the ceiling sprinklers they'd installed after one too many staff blast induced fires.

"Test three." Sam mumbled half to herself, no doubt well aware her voice would be drowned out on the recording by the fire alarm. "Seeing what happens when the energy spheres hit slightly more solid atmospheric conditions."

For a third time Sam triggered the weapon, and this time Jack could just barely make out the trio of cracking sounds through everything else going on.

Quickly bringing up the newly recorded video on her laptop, the pair watched it silently, and by the end even Jack could tell that something weird was going on.

"Look at that." Sam muttered in clear interest as she backtracked and paused the video. "The energy spheres pull the water droplets towards them as they pass but otherwise don't seem to interact at all."

"Sciency." Jack offered with a grin before glancing over to the test room. "But can we turn off the alarm now?"

Sam cringed slightly. "Right, I'll get on that."


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Author's Notes: I'm not entirely sure I needed a scene of Jack and Sam going through weapon testing, but it fit the larger narrative of them not just blindly trusting everything Eventus said so here we go.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 72 - From Here To There​

By the time Eventus had finished up with Daniel and Vala it had been late enough that it was clear he wouldn't be meeting with the IOA that day. Not exactly the biggest of surprises given what he remembered about how human politics tended to work.

So he'd ended up spending the night in what General Landry had assured the Lantean was their highest level VIP quarters.

The bed had been slightly lumpy in the way Eventus vaguely remembered non-foam mattresses tended to be, the furnishings had been sturdy but generic, the water pressure low, and the television lacking any outside connection or dvds.

On the up side he'd gotten his first full night's sleep in two weeks and had orange juice, crispy bacon, and an egg, cheese, and pepperoni omelet for breakfast. So all things considered he was in a pretty good mood and looking forward to the amusement that would likely ensue when he talked to the IOA's representatives.

"Please can I come with." Rayla begged as Eventus slightly adjusted the off-white suit he had synthesized so it properly covered the pair of personal shield emitters.

He had made sure to free Rayla from her temporary incarceration shortly after breakfast, and the General had been nice enough to assign her the guest room across from his own. Which was why the elf was currently sitting on his bed, kicking her legs in boredom, and begging him to take her along to meet the IOA.

"To New York? No."

Technically he didn't even really want to go to New York himself, but that was where the IOA's representatives were currently gathered, so since he didn't want to wait that was where he would go to meet them.

"But this place is boring." Rayla whined. "It's just gray walls and soldiers."

"You should have considered that before you snuck through the stargate." Eventus returned, figuring this would be a good lesson for the elf about looking before she leaped.

"Anyways." He continued as he motioned over to the spare interface pad sitting on the desk that he had pulled out of the jumper. "If you're that bored you can always start going over all the supplementary material you should be catching up on."

"What kind?" Rayla inquired with a suspicious glance to the pad.

"The space magic kind." Eventus answered with a smirk, pretty sure the first four years of beginners lessons on that would keep her at least marginally out of the rest of the base's hair while he was gone.

Rayla pursed her lips in thought for a moment before giving a cautious nod. "Your bribe is accepted."

"It's not a…" Eventus began to correct, only to frown as the realization hit that yes, it could technically be considered a bribe. "Okay yes, it's a bribe, so don't burn down the SGC while I'm gone."

"I have yet to figure out how to throw fireballs." Rayla returned primly as she hopped off the bed and walked over to grab the interface pad.

"And unless you want to spend several decades contemplating your own existence you likely never will." Eventus said, grabbing his own interface and hooking it onto his belt before heading to the door.

Exiting the room, he gave a nod to the pair of soldiers on watch before shooting a wry grin at the General who by his relaxed posture looked to have been patiently waiting for him for at least a little while.

"Nice suit." General Landry offered in amusement.

"Thank you." Eventus returned with a smile. "I designed it via pattern analysis of current Earth styles using various media your people brought along to Atlantis."

It had been a toss up between the suit and a much more colorful Hawaiian style shirt. As tempted as he had been to go with the other though, in the end he'd decided it would send the entirely wrong sort of message.

"If you don't mind me asking, why white?" Landry inquired idly as they began walking down the hall.

"Technically it's not white." Eventus explained, mildly amused that Landry of all people would be the first to actually ask about that. "It just looks that way to your people's eyes because you're mostly trichromatic and can't see as far into the infrared and ultraviolet ends of the light spectrum as my people."

"Huh." Landry muttered, stopping in front of the elevator to press the call button. "Sorry again about the meeting switch up."

"Don't worry." Eventus assured the man as the doors opened and they walked into the conveyance. "It's not the first time I've dealt with last minute changes like this. And given your use of Asgard transport technology to save travel time it's not really that much of a personal inconvenience."

Silence filled the cab as Landry pushed one of the buttons and it began to move.

"Gotta admit." General Landry put forward after a moment. "I'm still kind of surprised you're going along with this."

"Why is that?" Eventus asked in honest confusion.

"Nobody ever wants to deal with them." Landry returned with an exasperated shake of his head. "The Jaffa only ever want to talk to people who are military or former military, the Tok'ra don't really talk period, the Asgard find our politicians annoying, and the Hebridians always want our people to come to them."

That was kind of depressing to hear said out loud, and it was made somewhat worse by the fact that Eventus knew with absolute certainty that his own people would have been the same kind of extraordinarily difficult to deal with ally if it was almost anyone but him sitting in the High Councilor's seat.

The elevator came to a stop and the door opened revealing the somewhat more busy looking ground floor level of the Cheyenne Mountain base.

"Statistically speaking there's probably at least one member of the Aurora's crew who would be excited at the chance to take an ambassadorial position on your planet." Eventus offered as Landry led them through a large vault like door and turned left to a square of ground that looked like it had been sectioned off with caution tape.

"Would be interesting to see." Landry said, offering Eventus a small keyfab like device before motioning for the Lantean to step into the square.

"It's a transponder." He explained upon seeing the confused look Eventus was shooting the device. "The Prometheus's targeting sensors aren't as good as those on the Daedalus, so we need those to lock on to people."

Eventus vaguely remembered something about that, so he gave the man an amused grin before accepting the device and walking into the square. "And the tape square?"

"Designated position for transport at the outside edge of the SGC's jamming field." Landry returned with a grin.

"Fair enough." Eventus agreed as he was engulfed in a flash of light.


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Author's Notes: Next chapter, Eventus deals with the IOA, the first two chapters of which are already available on my patreon.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 73 - Middle Management​

It hadn't been particularly surprising to find out that the IOA's headquarters was just a closed to the public section of the UN building. After all, what better place to hide the comings and goings of high level diplomatic personnel then a place expected to be frequented by high level diplomatic personnel.

Upon beaming down, Eventus had been escorted to a somewhat dark room with a crescent shaped table around which the seven current representatives of the IOA were seated. Carl Storm, the current head was in the center. With Richard Woosley, Russel Chapman, and Shen Xiaoyi to his left. While Jean LaPierre, Sadru Desai, and the unfortunately named Pavel Chekov were sitting to the right.

He wondered what it said about the universe that so many different groups tended towards the same conference table design. And he made a mental note to check the archives when he got back to see if anyone had ever done a study on the subject.

"High Councilor Eventus." Carl greeted him with a nod. "Thank you for agreeing to meet us."

"It was the least I could do given the circumstances." Eventus demurred as he took a moment to study each of the faces arrayed before him.

Most seemed to share a general mix of boredom and unease, as if they fully expected this meeting to amount to nothing more than a formal waste of everyone's time. The two exceptions to that seemed to be Pavel Chekov and Sheen Xiaoyi. The former of which seemed to be grinning as if there was some joke that only he got, while the latter seemed in the midst of studying Eventus with an oddly contemplative smile on her lips.

"That said." He continued with a sedate smile of his own. "How about I save us all several hours of back and forth and just put the question directly out there."

He took a moment to look each of the representatives directly in the eyes before continuing. "What is it you want?"

That wasn't really a question his people had been known for asking others, which, while somewhat understandable when they had been the uncontested masters of the universe, was somewhat less pertinent now that there were less than a thousand of them left.

"What we want?" Carl repeated as he exchanged confused glances with the other representatives.

"Yes." Eventus confirmed, not entirely sure they understood just how open ended he was making his question. "Offensive technology, defensive technology, power generation, or maybe just access to raw materials. I assume there are many things your people want that my people have, so what are they?"

Not their top of the line technology of course since those things were far beyond their people's ability to reproduce, but he'd put together a rather comprehensive list of designs over the past couple weeks that should be within their technical capabilities to reproduce in preparation for this inevitable meeting.

"You're offering these things to us?" Chekov asked in a tone that made it clear that he thought he was misunderstanding the Lantean's words.

"No." Eventus corrected with a shake of his head. "I'm telling you that I'm open to negotiations for those things.

The representatives exchanged glances again, and it was clear to the Lantean that the seven desperately wanted to have a discussion about the curveball he'd just thrown them amongst themselves.

"If you would like to talk about my offer in private, or maybe contact your governments to figure out just what you're authorized to negotiate for, I can wait in whatever designated waiting area you have for such things." He put forward helpfully once it became clear from the continued silence that he'd stepped on some sort of diplomatic landmine.

Truthfully he'd budgeted a full week for diplomatic niceties, but he suspected if he admitted that, their various governments would draw out the entire thing till the literal last minute in hopes of figuring out just what the heck he was up to.

"That may be for the best." Carl agreed, motioning to one of the guards by the door. "Tucker? Would you escort the High Councilor to the IOA Quiet Room?"

"Of course." The guard confirmed with a nod as he walked up next to Eventus. "If you'll follow me, High Councilor."

Nodding, Eventus followed Tucker out, and the sound of muted debate sprung into existence mere moments after the door shut behind them.

The IOA's quiet room turned out to be a small sound insulated room next door to the meeting room they'd just left. Inside sat twelve low backed cushioned chairs, four coffee tables, a couple of work desks against the far wall, and a single flat screen television set on a stand. Not a particularly objectionable design for a waiting room all things considered, so he pulled his interface pad off his belt and settled into a chair to pass the time.

"So, Tucker." He began when the black suited guard settled into a position next to the door. "Do you think it will take them a while?"

"I couldn't say." Tucker replied after a moment, and it was clear from his slightly clipped tone that he was under some sort of order to keep conversation to a minimum.

Sighing as he slumped back into his surprisingly comfortable chair, Eventus took a moment to break into the building's wi-fi network before a glance over at the clock on the wall reminded him that it was nearly noon.

Looking over to Tucker, a slightly hopeful look crept onto his face. "Do you take lunch orders?"

It was Tucker's turn to sigh. "One moment."

He opened the door and walked out, taking a moment after he did to make sure to close the door behind him.

Eventus smiled slightly to himself, unable to really fault the security considerations, though he was mildly amused at just how clear the limited electromagnetic shielding around the room highlighted the fact that their whole secrecy obsession was more of a general negative to what they were actually hoping to accomplish instead of a plus.

The subspace jamming field the SGC had in place for instance would have made it a lot more difficult for him to wirelessly access anything. Not impossible mind you, as the only way to really do that was to completely cut out remote access capabilities. But he probably would have had to spend a good ten minutes isolating an unaffected subspace frequency before he would have been able to do anything.

It was nearly five minutes before Tucker returned with a thin pamphlet in hand, time Eventus spent browsing the nascent version of youtube and wondering if it would be too much to upload a short low quality video of a proailurus chasing a laser dot.

"Here's the lunch menu." Tucker said as he walked over and offered the item to Eventus. "Feel free to pick out whatever you'd like and we'll have it brought up."

Accepting the menu with a nod, Eventus spent a moment glancing through it before coming to a surprisingly easy decision. "A grilled salmon melt, bowl of lobster bisque, and a glass of whatever beer you have available."

He didn't expect the beverage to have a high enough alcohol content to do much of anything, but he was moderately interested in seeing just what they had come up with for a high end location like the UN.

"All right." Tucker confirmed as he accepted the menu back. "I'll relay your choices to the staff, though it will probably be twentyish minutes before everythings ready."

"No worries." Eventus said with a grin as he held up the interface pad. "I have more than enough to keep me occupied till it's ready."


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Author's Notes: Jokes on Eventus, the IOA went into this expecting a short and boring meeting where both sides would basically just exchange meaningless platitudes and at the end agree that they were more or less on the same page of discussing things further at some nebulous point in the future.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 74 - Political Games​

Eventus was half way through his grilled salmon melt when the sound of the door opening drew his attention away from the well put together sandwich to see who it was that had decided to join him in the room.

"Agent Tucker." Shen Xiaoyi greeted the man next to the door with a nod before walking over to take a seat across from Eventus's own.

"High Councilor." She continued, offering him a pleasant smile. "Are you enjoying lunch?"

It was clear from the Asian woman's accented cadence that English wasn't exactly her preferred language, so Eventus offered her a brief smile before switching.

"Very much so." He confirmed in Mandarin as he ate a spoonful of soup. "Chef wasn't really a profession my people indulged themselves with, so the personal flair on each of the dishes is something of a treat."

Shen blinked in surprise. "You speak Mandarin?"

"I speak every currently active human language outside of Coptic." Eventus informed her in amusement.

Of course, it would have been more accurate to say that Mandarin was a descendant of one of the languages his people brought back from the Pegausus galaxy. However he was playing the diplomacy game, and pointing out that sort of thing always brought the risk of making people from face based cultures defensive.

Shen furrowed her brow in confusion. "Outside of…" She trailed off as some realization hit. "Because it's descended from Goa'uld."

Eventus felt his eyebrows rise, moderately impressed that the woman had been able to put that together from such a small bit of information.

"Exactly that." He confirmed with an approving grin. "Most human languages have what you might consider a common root logic behind them. Goa'uld however doesn't, so I'd have to spend a few weeks studying it first if I actually wanted to learn. And with everything else going on, it has been extraordinarily low on my list of priorities."

Shen gave a light laugh and shook her head in bemusement. "From everything I've heard, having too much work and not enough time to do it in, is one of several things our people seem to have in common."

"My previous position used to have two months of required vacation time a year." Eventus recalled fondly, desperately wishing he could take one of those now. "But that was before our cold war with the Wraith turned hot."

If he was being honest with himself, even a week off on a beach somewhere would probably do him a world of good. But with the sheer number of things that needed to be done even that was probably several years away from being a realistic goal.

"I'd offer to spend a few weeks playing tour guide and showing you around Earth." Shen put forward with a look of friendly commiseration. "But I haven't had a day off myself since before the Americans disclosed the Stargate program to us three years ago."

The wince on Eventus's face wasn't even remotely feigned given how much pressure she must have been under that entire time to bring home at least some sort of win.

"Assuming your government is willing, I certainly wouldn't be adverse to having you spend a couple days showing me around your country."

Sightseeing in China was on his list after all, and what little he remembered about Shen Xiaoyi suggested she was pleasant enough company when not desperately fighting to keep her job. So he didn't particularly mind handing her something that she could bring back to her government as a personal accomplishment.

The offer clearly caught Shen off guard however, as she blinked several times before an odd look seemed to come across her face.

"I would of course have to make the request." She finally said, tilting her head slightly and shooting him an almost flirty smile. "But I certainly wouldn't mind, and I suspect my government would be more than happy to entertain you for a few days during your stay on our world."

Taking a few moments to finish up his lunch, Eventus let out a happy sigh before turning back to Shen. "I take it the IOA is ready to continue our meeting?"

An uncomfortable look briefly flashed across Shen's features before settling on a general feeling of resigned apology. "I'm sorry to say your immediate interest in opening direct trade negotiations has thrown us for something of a loop."

Clasping her hands together and leaning forward slightly in her chair, Shen shook her head in clear exasperation before shooting Eventus a wry grin. "You have to understand, so far these sorts of arrangements have always gone through the SGC due to the United States possession of the Stargate. And while our governments had some hope that would change with the Atlantis expedition. The general expectation was that we would be dealing with groups who want to trade raw materials and various degrees of operational support for supplies and military assistance."

Which sounded suspiciously like a diplomatic way of saying the non-US countries had only been expecting to deal with much less advanced cultures who didn't have anything to offer them outside of land access and manpower.

"And truthfully." Shen continued with a sigh. "There's the lingering question of what we could even bring to the table when negotiating some sort of exchange with your people."

"Currency, identity, access, and a constant stream of physically fit humans willing to serve our every need." Eventus said, waiting a moment for her to process his words in their entirety before quirking his lip in amusement and continuing. "That last was a joke by the way."

After all, currency could entice that easily enough without any of the negatives associated with just forcing people to do what you wanted.

A number of emotions seemed to flit across Shen's features before finally settling on a sort of intrigued confusion. "Forgive me for saying this. But those seem like very odd things to want to trade with us for given your people's capabilities."

Eventus gave an acknowledging tilt of his head at that. "In theory I could of course infiltrate your planet via stealthed starship, utilize your data networks to create false identities, and then build up funds by selling easy to acquire metals like gold and platinum. But that would make it nearly impossible to openly utilize your planet as a vacation destination for the surviving members of my people."

All of whom with the exception of he and Herius had lived their entire lives with the losing war against the Wraith hanging over their heads. So access to somewhere generally peaceful like Earth where they could just forget about their troubles and blend into the populace for a bit would probably go a long way to help with the depression and PTSD that Herius had warned him was more or less plaguing his crew.

"And on the more selfish front." He continued, not seeing any reason to hold his own desire on the subject back. "After experiencing your media, I was somewhat hoping to open a production studio or two to generate more of it."

He gave his now empty plate and bowl a forlorn glance. "And maybe see about hiring a team of trained chefs to come to Atlantis."


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Author's Notes: That odd moment when the humans figure out Eventus considers culture a perfectly valid trade good.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 75 - Shop Talk​

It had been a bit disappointing to learn that the various governments behind the IOA felt they needed a few days to figure out just how they wanted to go about trade negotiations. But it had also led to the rather interesting discovery when they had all eventually filed into the Quiet Room to find out what had delayed Shen, that the IOA representatives were a lot more willing to talk like normal people when they weren't directly representing their countries.

"Which was when Ambassador Chou reappeared without his pants." Chekov finished with a boisterous chuckle.

"He still claims that Supreme Commander Thor did it on purpose." Shen added in, shaking her head in barely disguised mirth.

"He probably did." Eventus put forward in amusement. "From everything I've read, Asgard can be really passive aggressive when it comes to returning insults."

"From everything you've read?" Woolsey inquired, leaning forward slightly in obvious interest.

"We didn't really talk much by the time I was born." Eventus explained with a shrug. "I'd like to think there was some deep and profound reason for that. But given we both had Stargates, I'm pretty sure it was something banal like both sides waiting for the other to dial up and apologize first."

"Ha!" Chekov laughed. "Sounds like us and the Americans in the eighties."

"Don't you mean the Soviets and Americans?" LaPierre put forward curtly.

"Bah." Chekov waved off. "Close enough."

"It sounds like you didn't have much respect for your previous leaders." Sadru floated idly.

"Not especially." Eventus confirmed, the memory of their many failures still fresh in his mind. "We only lost the war because they were supremely arrogant and more concerned with following precepts than they were with saving lives."

"Precepts?" Shen asked.

"A living mind must be in control of any construction above a class two complexity." Eventus quoted, wagging one of fingers in time to add sarcastic weight to his words. "In theory it was one of many precepts designed around the idea of preventing something like the Replicators from coming into existence."

Frowning, he tilted his head in consideration for a moment.

"I really want to say those weren't our fault, but I have no real idea what my people got up to after leaving Pegausus." He gave a lopsided grin. "Well, other than the previous High Councilor going around pretending to be a wizard for some reason."

Woolsey shook his head bemusedly. "You'd be surprised at the number of politicians who have hobbies like that."

"Da." Chekov agreed with a nod.

"Honestly?" Eventus mused as he considered what he knew about the man in question. "I think he just enjoyed the drama of it."

Ganos Lal and Moros had been a lot alike on that front, which might have been why she had put her intangible foot forward to be the one to go after him for breaking the rules.

LaPierre gave him an odd look. "And you don't?"

Eventus let out a tired sigh as he thought over all the things he would have done if he'd actually made it back to Earth and gotten away from having to clean up the seemingly endless amount of messes his people had left in their wake.

"I'd like to say no, but given enough time on my own there's a better than average chance I would have left at least one overly dramatic treasure hunt behind for future archeologists to stumble upon."

And carved his name in Lantean on a moon just to fuck with people, but he didn't think the people here would appreciate hearing about how defacing a celestial body had been on his bucket list.

Sadru hummed slightly to himself. "I suppose that sort of thing must be common to those with extended lifespans."

"Eh." Eventus said, making a so-so motion with one of his hands. "We tried to channel most of that towards theater productions. But yes, there was an inordinate amount of my people who enjoyed putting on dramatic airs in front of others."

"While we're on the subject." LaPierre began, pausing for a moment to shoot a cautious glance over at Shen and Chekov. "Given the way your own government was run, I'm a bit surprised at your lack of objection to some of our own less democratic ways of doing things."

From the scowls now being sent the French representatives way, the insinuation behind his words was clear enough that nobody in the room missed it. Personally, Eventus just found it kind of funny, and that must have shown at least somewhat on his face given the odd look Shen was now giving him.

"The only kind of government my people absolutely refused to deal with were Theocracies." He offered with a shrug. "For everything else, it was really just a question of whether they were mind controlling their people or not."

He grimaced before glancing at each of the representatives in turn. "Because trust me when I say that never ends well for anybody involved."

Free will issues aside, evolution itself really didn't seem to like mind control. Since in every planetary scale example they had documented, within a few generations of consistent use people who were either resistant or out right immune to whatever method used had started to appear within the populations.

Woolsey gave a wry grin. "Then it's good we don't have any of those here."

"Wasn't there that group of yours that got a bit out of control last year, Richard?" Chekov offered in an innocent tone that was moderately at odds with the calculating stare he was shooting the American representative.

"That was because of the Goa'uld." Woolsey snapped definitely as he met Chekov's stare.

An amusing thought popped into Eventus's head at that, and he couldn't help himself "Are there a lot of Goa'uld on Earth? Because from everything I've heard it seems like it would be relatively easy for one to take over a moderately rich businessman and just continue living their lifestyle."

The representatives exchanged a number of uncomfortable glances between each other at his words, suggesting that particular concern wasn't entirely new to them.

"We certainly hope not." Woolsey finally said. "But we don't exactly have an easy way to go around discovering any that might be infiltrating in that manner."

Standard Lantean hand scanners would likely be able to do the job once properly calibrated, but Eventus wasn't going to mention that until he had a chance to have an in depth talk with the Tok'ra about the future of their species.

"I suppose I'll just have to keep an eye out then." Eventus returned, moderately hoping one actually tried something so he could grab a test subject to bring back to Atlantis for further study.


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Author's Notes: The mad science runs deep, even if it's in a more OSHA compliant package.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 76 - Unfortunate Encounters​

"Now continue focusing on your breath." The woman on screen instructed. "For your body already knows what it must do, and it is only your mind which needs to understand it."

"This really doesn't explain anything." Rayla muttered as she glared annoyedly at the tablet for a moment before tossing it onto the bed.

Honestly, she didn't know if the woman that had recorded the lesson was just really bad at teaching, or if she had decided that being purposefully obtuse was a necessary part of teaching the subject. Either way though, she would bet her bedtime cup of red jello that she would get further by just bothering Eventus about it until he took a few hours to walk her through the subject.

Looking around the room to see if there was anything else she could do to pass the time, her eyes settled on the television set and dvd player.

"That's just mean." She muttered to herself, wondering why the humans would even include a setup like that in the room if they weren't going to include any dvd's to watch on it.

Letting out a sigh, she crept over to the door and cracked it open.

The soldier that had been next to the door when Eventus had been around seemed to have relocated to a position near the elevator at the end of the hall. And she briefly wondered what the reasoning for that was before deciding not to question the useful change in position.

Waiting patiently for something to draw the hall watchers attention away, Rayla's chance came when a tall dark haired woman walked up and began discussing something with the soldier.

Quietly slipping out of the room, she turned to head the opposite direction from the soldier only to run nearly face first into the crossed arms of a man who seemed to have been patiently waiting for something just passed her doors limited line of sight.

Stumbling back slightly, she looked up to see who she had run into only to grin at the good luck.

"You're Daniel Jackson!" Rayla exclaimed in a happy whisper, recognizing the man's face from various pictures she'd seen on Atlantis.

Daniel looked down at her with an odd look that quickly morphed into an almost impish smile. "I certainly appear to be.. So what can I do for you pointy eared young woman?"

"It's Rayla." She told him, taking a moment to make sure the soldier at the end of the hall wasn't paying attention before grabbing the Archaeologist by the arm and dragging him back into her temporary room.

"You are surprisingly strong for such a small woman." Daniel muttered, rubbing his arm in a way that suggested to Rayla that she'd probably grabbed him a bit too hard.

"Sorry." She apologized. "The soldiers here are really over sensitive about people wandering around, and I didn't want to have to stay in the brig for another night."

"You know, I get that." Daniel agreed as he glanced over at the still open door. "Though the one here isn't that bad all things considered."

"It was boring!" Rayla complained with a pout, the memory of spending hours with nothing to do still fresh in her mind. "All I wanted to do was take a look at the treasure I heard you brought back from Merlin's cave."

Merlin was the wizard the humans thematic idea of wizards was based on after all, so she really wanted to see what kind of treasures he had left behind.

"It was a really nice treasure." Daniel offered in an oddly wistful tone. "Piles of gold, jewels, the occasional Ancient trinket nobody would let me touch."

"They were probably afraid it would turn you into a woman like what happened with Grodin." Rayla returned sagely, Teyla having made sure to drill that cautionary tale about not picking up unknown Lantean devices into her head.

Daniel gave her another odd look. "You know what, sure, let's go with that."

That was a rather odd response, but Rayla was willing to ignore it in favor of the more important question. "Did one of those Ancient trinkets include his magic staff?"

Opening his mouth to answer, Daniel paused and gave her a suddenly suspicious look. "How old are you?"

Rayle blinked in confusion, not sure what that had to do with her question about Merlin's magic staff.

"Almost two weeks." She answered, making sure to round up since that seemed to make people feel a bit more at ease.

"Well." Daniel said, suddenly radiating a feeling of awkwardness that Rayla couldn't quite figure out the reasoning for. "You certainly don't look it."

"Eventus grew me in a biopod." She explained with a slight frown. "A lot of people seem to think I should be upset about that. But so far I've really enjoyed being alive, so I really don't understand why."

"Good for you." Daniel said proudly. "It's always nice to run into another girl who isn't willing to let the circumstances of her birth hold her back."

"Vala!?" A woman's voice called out from somewhere down the hall.

"Um… Okay?" Rayla continued hesitantly, trying and failing to figure out just what Daniel meant by that. "But you still haven't told me if you found Merlin's magic staff or not?"

Daniel bit his bottom lip for a moment, and Rayle started to get the distinct sense that she was missing something rather important.

"I can't believe it's me of all people saying this, but you might want to be careful with your phrasing."

Furrowing her brow for a moment, Rayla attempted to work out just what the man might have been talking about. "Is this a euphemism thing? Because I'm really not good at those."

"I kind of figured." Daniel returned with a smirk. "And yes, this is absolutely a–"

"There you are." The woman Rayla had seen talking to the soldier earlier interrupted as she glared at Daniel through the still open doorway.

"This one's not on me." Daniel told the dark haired woman with a grin. "I was just waiting in the hall for you to get done ordering lunch when Rayla dragged me in here to ask if we had brought back Merlin's magic staff."

The dark haired woman turned an odd look to the Elf.

"I did." Rayla confirmed with a nod, not seeing any reason to lie about that given the circumstances. "Though I also kind of wanted to meet Daniel because everyone says he's a real life Indiana Jones, and I really liked that movie."

The dark haired woman blinked at her words before blushing slightly. "Ah, well, thanks I…" She stopped mid sentence, frowning and looking over at Daniel with a narrow eyed glare. "Vala, did you tell her you were me?"

Looking between the two as a distinct feeling of confusion settled over her, Rayla tried to work out just what it was that she was apparently missing.

"I didn't deny it?" Daniel answered in a cautious tone.

The dark haired woman let out a deep sigh before turning to Rayla with a blatantly apologetic look on her face. "I'm really sorry about this. I"m actually Daniel Jackson."

"And she." The woman continued, pointing at the man who gave a jaunty wave. "Is Vala Mal Doran."

Rayla was silent for a moment as she worked to figure out just what the dark haired woman claiming to be Daniel Jackson was talking about before settling on what seemed to be the most likely answer.

"Is this one of those weird human academic things like not being able to publish papers under your own name?"

The dark haired woman gave her an odd look before slowly shaking her head. "No… We just swapped bodies."

"Oh!" Rayla exclaimed in relief, glad she wouldn't have to figure out who did and didn't have different names from what their files claimed. "That makes a lot more sense."

"It does?" Daniel, who was apparently Vala in Daniel's body asked, eyeing her in clear confusion.

"Of course." Rayla confirmed happily.


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Author's Notes: I wonder how many people remembered that Daniel and Vala were also staying on the guest floor during this period of time.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 77 - Strange Elf Danger​

When Daniel had first heard that the Atlantis Expedition had discovered an "Elf" he had been more than a little excited given how many different myths and legends the species might connect back to. That had been quickly overshadowed however by Vala showing up and claiming to have a lead on a great Ancient treasure.

Which he would grudgingly admit, though not with Vala in the room, had in fact been well worth his time. Even if it had ended up with him temporarily stuck in the aggravating woman's body.

Overshadowed by all that had been the discovery that the "Elf" was nothing more than an Ancients biological experiment. Something which was callous enough of an act that it really didn't match up with what he knew about the Ancients. Though to be fair, he supposed none of the archeological examples he had encountered so far had been from the "Lantean" period of their civilization.

"That's wrong." Rayla's voice interrupted his train of thought, and he looked over to see the seated Elf pointing at the third line of the translation on his laptop's screen. "It should be 'that which was forbidden' not 'that which cannot be allowed'."

Frowning, Daniel flipped through the pages of his most recent journal looking for the relevant notes.

"There's a difference?" Vala inquired idly, looking up briefly from the magazine she was reading on the bed.

"Several." Daniel confirmed as he found the right page, glancing between it and the screen for a moment as he double checked his work before frowning at Rayla. "Are you sure? Because as far as I can tell the translation is about as accurate as it can get."

"Yup." Rayla confirmed with a nod. "It's a contextual difference, like how John uses the word cool even when not describing the temperate."

Nodding in understanding, Daniel jotted a quick note of correction down in his journal before with a sigh he said the words he knew the young elf was waiting for. "I guess it's your turn then."

He still wasn't sure why Rayla had decided to trade her help with translation work for what so far had just been the answer to whatever random seeming question about his life that she could think of. But given just how priceless access to a native speaker of the language was, Daniel wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Are you and Vala having sex?" Rayla inquired.

Even though he wasn't drinking anything Daniel nearly choked, the sheer randomness of the question enough to throw him for a loop. "I'm sorry, what!?"

Vala started giggling, and Rayla glanced over at the bodyswapped woman for a moment before looking back at him with a slight frown. "Vala keeps staring at your butt the same way Teyla does John's. And since they are having sex, I was wondering if that meant you and Vala were too."

"No!" He answered, the voice of Vala's body unfortunately coming out much more squeaky than he intended.

"Not from any lack of trying on my part mind you." Vala added in, and he could all hear the grin in his body's voice. "But I figured my gleaming personality will wear him down eventually."

Unable to help but respond, Daniel turned an affronted glare to the relaxed form on his bed. "I'm in your body!"

"And my body has a really nice ass." Vala returned in a smug tone as she set the magazine down and took a moment to visibly ogle the body Daniel was currently in. "Among other absolutely fabulous features."

The annoying part with Vala's aggressive flirting was that even after a few days of hearing that sort of thing from her, Daniel was still completely unable to tell if the woman was being serious or just messing with him.

"Oh! I get it!" Rayla suddenly exclaimed as she glanced between the two of them with a grin.

Daniel waited for the Elf to explain further before hanging his head and letting out a sigh when it seemed nothing further was forthcoming.

"I think dear Daniel would like to know what you figured out." Vala suggested impishly, clearly getting a kick out of his discomfort with the whole subject.

"She's Jack Sparrow." Rayla began, pointing over at Vala before switching her finger to Daniel. "And you're Elizabeth Swan."

She scrunched her brow together for a moment before turning back to Vala. "Only there's no Will Turner, so Daniel's trying to figure out if he actually likes you, or just the excuse you give him to do more than spend his life doing busy work."

Daniel frowned, feeling more than a little put out at the comparison. "I'm sorry, what?'

Vala let out a sharp laugh. "I don't know who those people are, but she's got you on the busy work."

"These are important translations." Daniel snapped, more than a little tired of the way Vala consistently felt the need to put down his work.

"The tablet I brought you was important." Vala returned in a smug tone. "This is…" She glanced over to the desk where Rayla was watching their interplay with interest.

"I'd guess some sort of diplomatic treaty between the Lanteans and a species called the Furlings." Rayla offered helpfully.

"The type of thing you have your minions do." Vala finished with a self satisfied nod that made Daniel's eye twitch slightly in annoyance.

"Or feed into a translation matrix." Rayla agreed, nodding alongside the body displaced woman.

Rubbing his temples to ward off what felt like a quickly approaching headache, Daniel had to wonder just what it was about him as of late that made everyone seem to think he should be going out and doing things.

"I'm on the waiting list for Atlantis, you know." He groused. "In fact, I'd probably be going back there with you and the rest if this." He motioned dramatically down at his current body. "Hadn't happened."

"Why?" Rayla inquired, peering over at him with a clear look of confusion on her face.

"Why what?" Daniel asked in sudden suspicion.

"Do you want to go to Atlantis?" She returned, still sounding more than a little confused at the idea. "You're an archeologist, and everyone I've talked to about the job says that archeologists study the ruins and remains of dead civilizations. But Atlantis is a Lantean city that has Lanteans living in it, so what is there for an archeologist to do there?"

A moment of silence passed as Daniel tried to figure out how to answer her in a way that wouldn't come off as more than a little self-serving.

"He's probably hoping to hunt down the secrets of the universe." Vala interjected just as Daniel was about to reply.

Rayla gave a nod of understanding before crossing her arms and staring at Daniel with an odd look in her eyes. "Eventus said I should tell anyone who asked about that that the great secret of the universe is that the universe is infinite."

"And the treasure is in the pot." Vala added with a giggle as Daniel felt his eye twitch.

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Author's Notes: Next chapter we have Eventus returning the SGC and spending a lazy day identifying stuff on the SGC's list of recovered ancient shit.

 

[Vaermina]

Chapter 78 - Treasure Log​

Even to Eventus the convenience of Asgard transporters was something impressive. No need for satellite relay networks that would only allow you to travel to locations where ring platforms had been set up. No need for mile long trips afterwards to get where you really wanted to go. Just the flash of matter transmission and you were there.

Because of that convenience, he'd arrived back at the SCG in time to enjoy the mess hall's best rendition of pizza, and watch the amusing dinner show that was Daniel and Vala having dinner together. Which had led to his pity offer of spending the next day helping to go through Merlin's cave of junk to make sure there weren't any more dangerous items lying around.

So after his second full night's sleep in a row, and a standard morning breakfast, he'd shown up at Daniel's office with an elf and purloined box of popcorn bags to watch a slideshow of Merlin's greatest cataloged treasures.

A picture of a large red crystalline chalice appeared on the projection screen in front of the couch they were sitting on.

"Would you believe there were twelve of those and they wouldn't let me keep a single one." Vala groused as she popped a kernel of popcorn into her mouth.

"I'm moderately sure you can file with some of the human governments for a monetary percentage of the discovered treasure." Eventus offered idly as he examined the object for a moment before nodding. "Just another bit of random treasure."

Vala visibly perked up.

"We don't actually do that here." Daniel said, deflating Vala's excitement as he tapped a key on his laptop and the projector changed to showing an image of a small golden horse.

"You might want to think about it in this case." Eventus returned, not sure why the archeologist was being so petty about rewarding Vala for leading them to the treasure. "After all, if you don't, Vala could go to the British government and tell them about how the American government stole their cultural treasures and that Cameron Mitchell is their new king."

"And that is also just treasure." He added in as Vala perked up again.

"Wait." Rayla suddenly muttered, looking away from the screen to shoot a confused look over at Daniel as the projector switched to show a picture of a broach with a large red colored gem in its center. "You're keeping the treasure a secret? But then how will everyone else learn about and appreciate all the previously unknown history of the objects you recovered?"

Eventus had to hand it to Rayla, because it was clear from the sour face Daniel was making that the question had hit home on the archeologist in a rather uncomfortable way.

"Theoretically speaking." Vala floated in a suspiciously innocent tone. "How would one go about contacting this British government?"

"Personally?" Eventus began as he considered the question. "I'd just drive a cloaked ship up to their big castle. But given what I've learned about humans there's probably a phone number you can call."

"Wouldn't that mess up their whole secrecy thing?" Rayla inquired with a frown.

"Very likely." Eventus confirmed with a smile. "But one should not expect from others what they themselves are not likely to give. So if they aren't going to respect Vala's attempt to earn an honest living by uncovering lost treasure, why should Vala respect their desire to keep the existence of aliens a secret."

"You know she probably stole the tablet that led us to the treasure?" Daniel muttered.

"Technically?" Vala put forward, rocking her upper body back and forth slightly. "I stole it back from some people who stole it from me."

"Stole it from you you, or Qetesh while she was you?" Eventus dug, rather suspecting it was the latter.

"Does it matter?" Vala shot back with the barest hint of defensiveness in her tone.

"I suppose not." Eventus returned, glancing over to Daniel who was staring at his own body with a slightly furrowed brow. "The broach isn't any sort of design I recognize, so I'd say treasure again."

Without another word Daniel switched the projector to show an image of a softball sized golden sphere with basic mathematical equations carved onto its surface, and Eventus had to hold back a laugh since that absolutely had to be Moros's idea of a joke.

"That is an educational hoverball for young children, it has a metamorphic surface and as the name suggests can hover in the air using an internal anti-gravity system. It is safe for children ages twelve and under after which point they will inevitably try to disassemble it as part of their attempt to build some sort of flying device."

Vala smirked at him. "Speaking from experience I take it?"

"I used eight to build a pair of hover skates." Eventus confirmed, grinning at the memory of zooming across Atlantis's surface with the things.

Rayla pursed her lips for a moment before looking over at him. "Should I be attempting to build things like that?

"Only if you want to." Eventus told her, motioning for Daniel to switch to the next and the image obligingly changed to a picture of a pendant with a large light blue teardrop gemstone.

"I'd have to see it in person to be sure since your camera doesn't cover the higher and lower ends of the light spectrum, but I'm pretty sure that's a holographic memory recorder."

Daniel frowned slightly. "Are you talking about memories in the sense of things a person experienced or memories in the sense of video recordings someone made to remember an event?"

"Either is possible." Eventus confirmed. "But you might want to be careful, because over the years I've seen everything from baby videos to memorable sexual encounters kept on them."

Vala opened her mouth to speak only for Daniel to interrupt. "Moving on."

The image changed once more to show a two foot long golden scepter with intermittent red and white gemstones circling its head.

"Yet again treasure."

Honestly Eventus was really starting to wonder just why Moros had collected so much of the stuff. Was it a smokescreen to hide the handful of actually important things? Additional props for his wizard cosplay? A reward for whatever humans passed his tests? Or maybe just him indulging a newly discovered love of shiny objects? Whatever it was, the former maintenance engineer hadn't seen this much decorative gold and crystal since he'd toured the art displays on the city ship Tenmadurai.

Without prompting the image switched and a picture of Arthur's Mantle appeared on the screen.

"Laptop modified with what might be Ascended technology."

Questions of why aside, Eventus really wished Moros had been a bit more creative with the–

"I'm sorry." Daniel interrupted as he looked up from the laptop he was using to control the slideshow. "What!?"

Eventus pointed at the device's central matrix. "The Black crystal. I'll save everyone a long and involved lecture on the why's of crystal technology. But color matters. And in human terms, black would be the equivalent of building an integrated circuit with bismuth instead of copper."

If he were to guess, he would say there was some sort of dimensional schism effect at play with part of the crystal existing here and part of it existing in whatever alternate dimension Moros had selected as his hideout.

He tilted his head in consideration. "Well, I suppose it's also possible there were some major technological advances between the point I was left in Atlantis and everyone ascending. But given just who Merlin is I find it rather unlikely that such a thing occurred."

"Who Merlin is?" Daniel repeated in confusion.

"I forgot to mention that, didn't I?" Eventus muttered, dutifully ignoring the byplay of a clearly bored Vala tossing a popcorn kernel at Rayla and the elf responding in kind.

"Yes." Daniel drawled, so completely focused on Eventus now that he was missing the burgeoning popcorn war now occurring on the couch.

Biting his bottom lip for a moment to cover his embarrassment at forgetting to mention the man's actual identity, Eventus offered the archeologist an apologetic shrug. "From the pictures you took of the hologram, it's really just former High Councilor Moros with hair and a much less well kept beard."


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Author's Notes: To be fair Eventus really does have a lot of things on his mind right now, mind, most of that's looking forward to taking a few days off of work to play tourist on Earth, but the point stands.