You walked out a few minutes later with a large grey coat folded in a paper bag, feeling good about your choice. You didn't really know much about fashion, especially not after more than half a decade dressing mostly in various uniforms, but you knew Aiko cared about that sort of thing a lot, and you hoped she'd like it.
You made it back home to find Aiko sitting at your low table with someone else you assumed to be a friend. She was an angular looking girl with short hair (shorter than was fashionable even among the modern working women, you had to do a double take and check that her trolley conductor's uniform had a skirt and that she wore makeup). The two of them were chatting away over tea and the remains of some snacks.
"I'm home," you said as you hung your hat on the rack in the front entrance, removed your shoes and stepped into the front room.
"Haruna!" Aiko smiled up at you from her seat. "Welcome home! This is my friend Watanuki Mai--she was my flatmate for a while." You bowed slightly to the new girl as Aiko continued, "Mai, this Lieutenant Arisukawa Haruna
"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Watanuki." The girl was staring at you (and your uniform) in something akin to awe, you thought, though she was doing her best to hide it. She wasn't doing a very good job, at least by your standards (not to speak of your
mother's standards).
"V-Very nice to meet you, too, Your Imperial---Er, Lieutenant Arisukawa." Aiko must have told her you didn't like using the Imperial titles in these situations. You smiled disarmingly.
"I'm so happy to get to meet some of Aiko's friends." You looked to your girlfriend, then offered her the parcel from under your arm. "Speaking of Aiko, I got you something on the way home from work today."
You pulled the coat loose from your bag and unfolded it, and Aiko's eyes went nearly as wide as Mai's, taking it with reverence.
"I… oh, this is so nice! Where did you get this, it must have cost- no, um, don't tell me." she quickly started trying to wigging into it, and you were briefly worried it was somehow too snug for her, but fortunately it seemed to just fit. "I've been meaning to get a new one I just haven't really had time and with the war and the economy and books…" She trailed off and sighed.
"Thank you so much, Haru," she said and bent to kiss your cheek. Your cheeks, still stinging pink from the cold, felt instantly warmer.
"I just wanted to make sure you're staying warm on your way to and from school," you said, "and your old coat was so ratty and…"
You noticed Mai looking a little awkward, and you quickly sat down as Aiko scurried into the kitchen to fetch you a tea cup, leaving the pair of you alone. Oh Spirits, please don't let her freak out about you being the *~Navy Princess~*.
"It's nice to finally meet you," she said instead. "Aiko never stopped talking about you, though not like, you? Um, but… it was a secret, you know. Like, it was you, but I didn't know it was
you, she did a great job of not saying who you were by saying, um, I'm not sure what I'm saying...."
"It's alright," you said with all the polite manners you could muster. "Don't take this the wrong way but I'm used to people being more… ah… emotional when they meet me for the first time."
"Oh! Well, I kind of figured it out already? Like, your father left his card with Aiko and I saw it and we had that whole talk, right? And I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. And I didn't, so like…" She looked up as Aiko came back. "Oh Spirits, you're back. I think I just keep shoving my foot in my mouth…"
"You didn't tell me Mai knew our sordid secret, Aiko," you said with a teasing little smile. Admittedly, you hadn't expected him to take much interest. Not like he ever had outside of sending you money. He'd always been distant, more focused on his work and his position than his children. Aiko rolled her eyes as she poured out tea for you.
"I thought we said we were going to stop it being a secret at all," she pointed out.
"I know, I know. I'm teasing…" you said. You'd agreed, sure, but you weren't sure how or when, and you'd sort of put it out of your mind for the last little bit.
"That's so exciting! How do you announce something like that, though? A press conference?" Mai asked. You had the sudden image of standing up in front of a bunch of reporters and kissing Aiko.
"Not exactly. In high society, appearances in certain places will do." you explained, "it's mostly so that Aiko doesn't have to lie anymore."
"I'm not the only one." Aiko added. "But yes, the main fear is the gossip rags making a big affair of it, and it affecting Haruna's career and such."
"... this is all so much. I don't understand why it would matter." Mai admitted. "Nobody at the tram yard much… well, no, that's not true. With the war over, a bunch of the men took their jobs back and a lot of my coworkers got replaced, because, you know, they're married and they don't need the income. Something like that?"
It was your turn to be surprised.
"They do that?" you said, a little disbelievingly. You'd never had a civilian job and likely never would, so you had no context.
"Yeah, the marriage bar. It's really common." Aiko explained. "I heard that Kobayashi Heavy Industries even does it with engineers, there were rumours in my class."
"That's absurd. Why should a woman give up her career just because her husband has a job?"
"They have kids to take care of. Or are going to have kids to take care of," Mai said. "Just how it is."
"You think they'd do that to you?" Aiko asked.
"What, if my mum somehow maneuvers me into a... " you had a grim thought. It would be
exactly like your mother to approve of your relationship with Aiko
in exchange for you playing her political games. Like the dates with Akibara Shinzo. Even if the maternity leave stuff got sorted.
"I think I have too many medals for them to force me out of the service that easily," you continued, leaving your first thought unfinished. "Not that I like to, you know, give myself too much credit but I think it's fair to say I'm a legitimate national hero figure to a lot of people--and the political reality is that I'm a useful tool for the foreign ministry. A good example."
"I… hadn't thought of it like that," Mai said, her voice thoughtful. "You'll probably be fine, yeah. And… it's exciting anyway!"
Right. Maybe a little too heavy right now.
"So, Miss Watanuki, tell me about yourself. You work with the streetcars?"
---
When Aiko wrote to you and told you that your dad wanted to reconnect with you, honestly, you almost ignored it entirely. Pretended like it didn't happen.
The idea you owed that man anything, a single second, was rich. He had never been there for you, your entire life. The memories you had of him were fond, yes, but they were also infrequent and brief. He'd made his choice, he'd picked politics over you, over your mother, over your little brother. Simple as that.
But… those memories were still fond. And were you really that different, choosing the sea over Aiko?
So you arranged to meet him. With Aiko present, of course. At this point, she knew him better than you did.
The day of your dinner meeting, you received a simple note: 'Dress down tonight.' So instead of your uniform (which rankled you), you dressed in your simplest civilian clothes and borrowed Aiko's old winter coat, which was small on her and a little oversized on you. Plus one of her hats. You looked at yourself and the mirror and were shocked to see someone who looked… exactly like every other working class woman or student on the street. It was strange, feeling like you blended in for once.
The usual car was waiting outside the apartment, but instead of ushering you inside, your father stepped out, wrapped in a winter coat and a hat that was far too cheap for a man like him and gestured for the pair of you to walk with him. You hadn't seen him… since two weeks before your graduation, and even then in passing. You tried to figure out if he'd visibly aged since then, but you simply didn't have enough to go on, just fuzzy memories. Did he used to have a moustache?
"Father." you said stiffly, slowing your step a moment. Aiko, you noticed, didn't, at least not until she noticed you weren't keeping up.
Your father smiled, looked you over, and sighed.
"Hello, Haruna," he said. Aiko was looking between the two of you, doing her best not to look worried but doing it anyway.
You'd read books with exactly this scene in it, the reunion with the estranged parent. It was practically cliche in the stories about the exciting lives of last generation's nobility which you'd grown up on. It was always big, emotional, happy tears or embracing or screaming hatred or defiant declarations.
"So… where are we going?" you asked awkwardly.
"... um. I had… I had a place in mind, it's within walking distance, if… you know…"
"Yeah. Um, right. Which way?"
You were expecting so much… more. Than this. Than just awkward, confused, all the emotions petering out before any of them could breach the surface.
He beckoned down the road, and you glanced to Aiko to see her looking concerned. She leaned up close, her wide eyes asking the question for you.
"Are you okay? I've never heard you so rattled." Aiko whispered.
You shrugged uselessly. You were never really
good at family stuff. The way Aiko's family worked was so alien to you that you couldn't blame her for being confused about your reaction, if you were honest.
A short walk in the chilly winter air later your father led you into a cozy doorway in a building near the harbor and then up a flight of narrow stairs into a tiny restaurant that you were pretty sure was smaller than your apartment. A series of booths lined one wall, partially separated from the restaurant by half-curtains. Each of them sat next to a window that overlooked the harbor and naval yard below where ships and boats of all sizes and shapes could still be seen coming and going in the fading late-afternoon light. The three of you piled into one of the booths and were soon examining menus.
The reason for the choice was clear soon enough. Ramen. A hot noodle soup was really the perfect winter meal. Your father smiled across the table at you.
"One of my favorite spots when I need to get away from everything," he said with the casual smoothness you expected. "There's times when I could do without being Vice Minister for a while, you know?"
The thought that flashed through your mind was not kind. Why didn't he used that time to
be there for his children?
But you kept a lid on it, redirected it in a more acceptable manner.
"I can't say I've had the luxury of not being Lieutenant Arisukawa very frequently." you replied tensely. Subtext: you took your job seriously.
"It's hardly a luxury, I'd say it's near to a necessity. You're more than a mannequin for your uniform to rest on, though I suspect you know that." he replied. Subtext: Not as seriously as you claimed.
"True, of course. I try to be careful in choosing those times and places." Subtext: I spend those times with the people I love. Why didn't you?
"Ah, a luxury of youth. Enjoy it while you can."
"I intend-"
"Spirits, both of you! Did none of your fancy tutors teach you how to
talk to your family?" Aiko suddenly exclaimed, somehow both a shout and a whisper. "Hi dad, how's work! Oh, it's great! So many trains! How was the war? Oh, you know, battleships, big explosions, I'm more medal than woman now, I had a great time!"
You both stared a moment as Aiko's face went through a parade of emotions, from infuriated frustration to shock at herself to the kind of embarrassment that had you wanting to curl up and disappear on the spot, and all the way to the false serenity of somebody trying desperately to pretend the last minute hadn't happened.
You couldn't help it, even your self-control had its limit. You laughed, more than you expected, gripping the table for support, tears in your eyes. You're not sure if your father broke first or not, but it didn't matter, he was right there with you, the smile on his face enormous and
genuine.
"She's right, you know! She's absolutely right." your father said, once he had enough control over himself to form words again, "That was completely the wrong foot to get off on!"
You cradled your head in your hands, the entire thing just too surreal.
"Right, want to try again?" you asked.
"... that's exactly why I'm here." he replied.
You did ask him about work, and he told you about his own private war with corporations and bureaucrats and the Diet, fought over memos and meetings and snide letters. He asked about the war, and you rattled off a highlight reel, feeling a strange reassurance that he seemed to know what part of the story came next, that he'd been following as best he could.
It didn't
begin to make it okay, the years of absence. But you couldn't help but want to fill him in, as though if you gave him a little bit of what he'd missed, maybe you'd get back a little bit, a tiny piece of the presence you wished he'd had. It seemed to be working.
You were midway through describing your life on the submarine, aiming at least in part to impress him with your resilience to the conditions, when the food arrived. Steaming bowls of shoyu broth with noodles, pork (not as much as you liked, but you guessed it was still the aftermath of the war and rationing), vegetables and eggs. And since your father was a regular, it seemed, they had brought out three bottles of beer with labels indicating they were proudly brewed right here in Tokei.
If there was ever a special occasion, this was it. This was exactly the circumstance where a single bottle of beer was completely reasonable, where self-control would become useless aversion. It was, by all measures you'd set yourself, okay.
But you hesitated as your reached, your hand briefly retreating from the bottle. A small motion, nothing in the grand scheme, meaningless.
You met your father's eyes, and you knew he noticed.
[ ] Admit the truth. (+1 Stress)
[ ] Brush it off. (Hard Subterfuge roll)
