Chapter 27 - Melee
Manic Dogma
This, I can't deny.
- Location
- The far side of tired
- Pronouns
- Whatever
The melee has begun, powerful figures clashing on the slightly poky field of battle as swathes of rich pricks look on in hedonistic amusement. You all know what that means!
Gambling!
Oh, right, and Akiyama is apparently still in mortal peril. I guess. Fortunately at least one person in the Yamashita party has a good sense of what's actually going down, and as such Kushida chivvies Yamashita away, pointing out how unlikely it is that the Association is going to make any exceptions. Frankly, I feel like they probably would have happily made an exception for a CEO, but we'll leave that unsaid I suppose. Anyway, more to the point Kushida reminds Yamashita that Akiyama has Ohma with her, there's nothing to worry about, lets make some bets!
Initially, because he's an anxious sort, Yamashita turns her down. He's an emotionally drained mess right now, and really not in the mood to throw money around. Then he spots the bulletin board and leaps on the distraction. Each entry is clearly a fighter, but they're also accompanied by a number of unclear meaning. Kushida helpfully explains that said number is the total liquid assets that the fighter has won for their company in the Kengan Matches.
The offhanded "or die" is a grimly telling detail.
Now isn't this interesting? Some of you may recall earlier discussion in the thread on just this subject, about how all the fighters shown so far have incredibly bloated win records that test the suspension of disbelief of certain readers. This page all but confirms that, yeah, it's not a natural thing. The Kengan Matches aren't a traditional combat league that tests for and pursues a complete understanding of the combat sport in question, it's a system of trial by combat organised by a swarm of hungry capitalists. If a company is leaning on a fighter's prowess to sustain their wealth and accrue more, then the bean counters aren't going to suffer a fighter who can't deliver the goods. This strongly suggests that the lower tiers of the Kengan Matches are a constant churn of new faces coming in and leaving when they find the general level of the matches too high for them to maintain a strong positive record. And, well, there's no requirement for fighters to regularly face people on par with or better than them. In fact, that's likely very rare, a gamble only taken when a company stands to gain in unique, otherwise irreplicable ways. It's a fundamentally different angle on how a combat league would function.
Of course, this is just as a general rule, there's clearly exceptions. Hatsumi Sen is powerful enough on a good day that he's apparently sometimes worth betting on. Kaburagi's goal wasn't necessarily winning to begin with, and his employer likely saw compensation for his tactics somehow. And hey, if your fighter gets walloped by someone like Sekibayashi Jun or the Fang of Metsudo then that doesn't necessarily suggest they can't win you success elsewhere. That said, even in that context we already have an example of a strong fighter getting fired after a single loss in a fit of pique on his employer's part. That's exactly what happened to Rihito, after all.
Kushida finishes her little lecture by noting a fighter who's been in a lot of matches, but with low assets acquired, is probably a throwaway fighter for low stakes stuff the employer doesn't really care about that much. Yamashita, feeling very educated right now, notes that the low matches/high assets sort sounds a lot like Ohma- and immediately starts panicking again. Kushida asks if he's going to bet, but she goes unheard as Yamashita rushes to check on Ohma and Akiyama.
It's absolute Pandemonium down there, fighters of all styles, all (male) shapes and all sizes beating the everloving piss out of each other. Every moment fighters are getting knocked out as this or that opponent lands a telling blow.
And around Yamashita, other CEOs are feeling the pain too as they watch their fighter go down for the count. One explicitly curses his foul luck, lamenting his five billion yen (lol big number amirite) entrance fee, but a few others seem more philosophical about it. One notes that, well, yeah obviously every fighter here would be strong. They're fighting for entry into the biggest tournament in the business. Another agrees, at this point there's no telling who'll be the last ones standing.
This, though, Yamashita would disagree with.
And then, we get a brief shotgun blast introducing us to each of the people Yamashita picks out as exceptional.
First, several men reel in baffled fear, incapable of understanding the style before them. An effete man dances above them like a crane, bouncing from shoulder to shoulder as his feet crush their dreams and dislocate their jaws.
Manga Don't Be Weird About Gender Nonconformity Challenge (Impossible)
A half dozen men surround one and charge in screaming his death. They do not see it when it happens, all they know is the world begins to swim before their eyes, and their legs melt out from beneath them. All five men collapse to the floor asking a single question.
What happened?
Of course he works for an oil company.
The man would be unassuming. His dress is workmanlike. His figure is broad, but far from chiseled. But he is a giant, and his fists smite with the weight of mountains. A single blow and the wall of muscle before him is sent hurtling across the room like a broken doll. Undaunted, a challenger approaches behind him, idly appreciating the stranger's strength.
69 420, you say?
Across the room Shimoda Saji, with his 2 win perfect record and assets acquired of 4 billion, 21 million yen still has his perfect, python-like grip on Rihito. You can't hope to turn things around from this position, he says, even as Rihito's eyes bug out and he snarls like a cornered cat.
And then we get to see Ohma's opponent.
…yeah, what Ohma said, the fuck kinda goofy-ass stance is that?
And then we get to see Ohma's current state. Affiliated with Yamashita trading Company. 3 win perfect record. Assets acquired? 15 billion, 414 million.
Kushida finally catches up with Yamashita, complaining that he had her looking all over for him. But he's unbothered. With a confident smile he turns to her. He thinks he has a good idea of which fighters will stand unconquered at the end of this.
And then it turns out the Association doesn't accept bets as pedestrian as ten thousand yen. How plebeian, Kushida thinks.
…anyway, wasn't there a fight scene happening?
Right, yeah, Jerry Tyson.
Whatever his goofy-ass bullshit is, it's clearly taking Ohma completely by surprise. Particularly when, after streaking past him at Mach Fuck, the guy literally screeches to a halt on a penny and is careening back at Ohma within the second. And I do mean literally, he has a little sfx bubble next to him going EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK as he stops!
But Ohma hasn't seen anything yet, Jerry thinks to himself as launches repeatedly at Ohma at speed. Anytime, forever, he chases his enemy down until they're destroyed. That's the spirit of Xing Yi Quan.
Now, any of you with half an ounce of awareness of Chinese martial arts are probably aware that there's no Superman Pose in…any of those. At all, to my knowledge. But not to worry, it's time for a backstory cutaway!
Jerry Tyson was born in Detroit, a city in the US state Michigan, and all through his youth excelled in every sport he tried, particularly track sprinting. And when he was seventeen his family moved to china along with his father's job, where he discovered Chinese Wushu.
At least it isn't a white guy for once, I guess?
At this point however, a question reared its head in the back of his mind. Why animals? In an absolutely majestic display of both hubris and his uncanny ability to completely miss the fucking point, he came to conclusion that the days that animals claimed overwhelming power came to an end with the evolution of humans. Never mind the fact that humans still cannot physically keep up with many animals in terms of strength, speed, agility or resilience, that isn't even how this shit works. You don't just magically become as strong as a lion, you draw lessons from its bearing and motion to optimise a human's physicality for…you know what never fucking mind, we haven't even hit the dumbest part yet. Because when he's done wondering why he's imitating animals that are "weaker" than humans (mmfffffucking not how it works) he comes to the conclusion that what he should be imitating is…weapons. Yeah. Lotta lessons in how to move the human body for greatest effect to be learned from a fucking missile.
…Thinking about it, this might actually be the most bitingly accurate satire of American attitudes toward weapons I've ever seen. Food for thought.
Whatever, seven years later he apparently completed his own form of Xing Yi Quan that draws inspiration from modern weaponry. And the part he's most proud of is the Scud Missile technique. Now, as far as I can tell from a brief skim of the wiki page, the Scud missile is a broad category of ballistic missile. Gigantic fuck-off things that streak down out of the blue and blow you to shit, tactical weapons of linear destructive power. If his technique were just a ridiculously fast charging blow that makes use of his whole body the analogy would work. But according to Jerry Tyson, they can pull hairpin turns when dodged. I wasn't aware tactical ordinance had advanced homing capabilities sharp enough to be used in a dogfight.
Then, just to try to hype this deranged nonsense up some more, a rando decides that he wants to take a crack. Jerry's side is wide open, he says. Which is objectively true! His arms are pointed in front of him in the fucking superman pose! But ol' Jerry just says no. The man bounces off, pinwheeling away with a contrail of his own blood. Jerry is moving at high speeds, and weighs about 100 kilograms he says, attacking him when he's moving is like charging into a big rig in motion.
My…my fucking dude. That might make sense if they hit you from the front, but he was taking a shot at your fucking kidneys. Yeah your forward momentum probably deflects some of the strike's force, but that blow is perpendicular to the direction your stupid ass is moving.
Anyway, Jerry pulls another circle through the crowd, mowing people down, and retargets on Ohma once more. Being, as has hopefully become clear, rather fucking stupid, Jerry takes Ohma ceasing to dodge as him giving up. Only realising right at the last second that maybe the shit he's doing with his hands means something.
Ohma deftly pivots Jerry at the surrounding wall, to the man's shock and his own smug satisfaction. This is, unfortunately, not enough to stop him. Cackling about how Ohma's "more fresh than mama's apple pie" he hops into the air and flips, landing on the wall with his feet. Somehow this does not kill all his momentum, but instead redoubles it, and he launches himself off the wall at speeds enough that he decides he counts as a full metal jacket now.
Fucken, gimme a moment…[googling noises]...alright, a Full Metal Jacket is a kind of ammunition that surrounds the usual heavier, softer lead alloy core with a Jacket of a much harder metal. This allows for higher muzzle velocities, which I guess is where the reference is going here. Makes way more sense than the Scud missile nonsense.
Anyway, his thoughtless ricochet has now put him onto an imminent collision course with Akiyama. Whoopsie doodle!
Apparently now he can't pull those hairpin turns he was doing so handily before, so Akiyama is in mortal peril I guess. It's not the stupidest swerve this fight has taken, actually it's probably the first one that makes full sense and follows from the aesthetic of his technique. But it's come on the heels of so much arbitrary bullshit that all the intended effect is just completely lost on me.
Whatever, it's fine anyway, Ohma's here to save the day.
Is this what Ohma actually flirting looks like?
Akiyama might be distracted from her initial surprise right now, but Jerry sure as hell isn't. While the writers turn what could have been a cute moment into more stupid, sexist bullshit by mishandling the bickering that follows, Jerry sits flat on his ass and wonders how he managed to avoid a collision. And furthermore, how the hell he got knocked back what looks like almost twenty feet when he was charging forward with his full weight.
Ohma, apparently getting bored with bullying Akiyama, turns on Jerry. He doesn't like using this technique, he claims. He thinks its lame, you see. So Jerry had best be careful, because unlike the redirection kata, he doesn't have full control over this one.
And so we see our second technique of the Niko Style. The Adamantine Kata: Indestructible. End chapter.
Oof, that was a long one. I'm not sure why this chapter is suddenly 31 pages long, when most of the previous have been 20-ish pages, but it is what it is. And what it is is another mixed bag. We have the first indication of something that'll be important with Yamashita, that's good. And another solid bit of worldbuilding on the Association itself, courtesy of Kushida. And would you look at all those colourful characters we'll probably see more of later.
And then Jerry Fucking Tyson, jesus christ. You'd think the writer of a martial arts manga would realise that learning an animal-themed martial art isn't like eating its heart to gain its strength, or some other linear buff. It's observing patterns of motion and posture, learning effective angles of attack, incisive philosophies of battle and ways to optimise the impact of human physiology. One could suggest the author does get it, and Jerry is supposed to come off as kind of a doofus, but then why does this demented nonsense get so much of the chapter dedicated to building heat for it? Maybe it's just heat for the Adamantine Kata, idk.
Side note, this chapter gave us a profile page for Kiryu Setsuna. And fucking christ.
Vindication once more. But in a bad way this time. Manga Don't Be Weird About etc etc.
See you all next time.
Gambling!
Oh, right, and Akiyama is apparently still in mortal peril. I guess. Fortunately at least one person in the Yamashita party has a good sense of what's actually going down, and as such Kushida chivvies Yamashita away, pointing out how unlikely it is that the Association is going to make any exceptions. Frankly, I feel like they probably would have happily made an exception for a CEO, but we'll leave that unsaid I suppose. Anyway, more to the point Kushida reminds Yamashita that Akiyama has Ohma with her, there's nothing to worry about, lets make some bets!
Initially, because he's an anxious sort, Yamashita turns her down. He's an emotionally drained mess right now, and really not in the mood to throw money around. Then he spots the bulletin board and leaps on the distraction. Each entry is clearly a fighter, but they're also accompanied by a number of unclear meaning. Kushida helpfully explains that said number is the total liquid assets that the fighter has won for their company in the Kengan Matches.
The offhanded "or die" is a grimly telling detail.
Now isn't this interesting? Some of you may recall earlier discussion in the thread on just this subject, about how all the fighters shown so far have incredibly bloated win records that test the suspension of disbelief of certain readers. This page all but confirms that, yeah, it's not a natural thing. The Kengan Matches aren't a traditional combat league that tests for and pursues a complete understanding of the combat sport in question, it's a system of trial by combat organised by a swarm of hungry capitalists. If a company is leaning on a fighter's prowess to sustain their wealth and accrue more, then the bean counters aren't going to suffer a fighter who can't deliver the goods. This strongly suggests that the lower tiers of the Kengan Matches are a constant churn of new faces coming in and leaving when they find the general level of the matches too high for them to maintain a strong positive record. And, well, there's no requirement for fighters to regularly face people on par with or better than them. In fact, that's likely very rare, a gamble only taken when a company stands to gain in unique, otherwise irreplicable ways. It's a fundamentally different angle on how a combat league would function.
Of course, this is just as a general rule, there's clearly exceptions. Hatsumi Sen is powerful enough on a good day that he's apparently sometimes worth betting on. Kaburagi's goal wasn't necessarily winning to begin with, and his employer likely saw compensation for his tactics somehow. And hey, if your fighter gets walloped by someone like Sekibayashi Jun or the Fang of Metsudo then that doesn't necessarily suggest they can't win you success elsewhere. That said, even in that context we already have an example of a strong fighter getting fired after a single loss in a fit of pique on his employer's part. That's exactly what happened to Rihito, after all.
Kushida finishes her little lecture by noting a fighter who's been in a lot of matches, but with low assets acquired, is probably a throwaway fighter for low stakes stuff the employer doesn't really care about that much. Yamashita, feeling very educated right now, notes that the low matches/high assets sort sounds a lot like Ohma- and immediately starts panicking again. Kushida asks if he's going to bet, but she goes unheard as Yamashita rushes to check on Ohma and Akiyama.
It's absolute Pandemonium down there, fighters of all styles, all (male) shapes and all sizes beating the everloving piss out of each other. Every moment fighters are getting knocked out as this or that opponent lands a telling blow.
And around Yamashita, other CEOs are feeling the pain too as they watch their fighter go down for the count. One explicitly curses his foul luck, lamenting his five billion yen (lol big number amirite) entrance fee, but a few others seem more philosophical about it. One notes that, well, yeah obviously every fighter here would be strong. They're fighting for entry into the biggest tournament in the business. Another agrees, at this point there's no telling who'll be the last ones standing.
This, though, Yamashita would disagree with.
And then, we get a brief shotgun blast introducing us to each of the people Yamashita picks out as exceptional.
First, several men reel in baffled fear, incapable of understanding the style before them. An effete man dances above them like a crane, bouncing from shoulder to shoulder as his feet crush their dreams and dislocate their jaws.
Manga Don't Be Weird About Gender Nonconformity Challenge (Impossible)
A half dozen men surround one and charge in screaming his death. They do not see it when it happens, all they know is the world begins to swim before their eyes, and their legs melt out from beneath them. All five men collapse to the floor asking a single question.
What happened?
Of course he works for an oil company.
The man would be unassuming. His dress is workmanlike. His figure is broad, but far from chiseled. But he is a giant, and his fists smite with the weight of mountains. A single blow and the wall of muscle before him is sent hurtling across the room like a broken doll. Undaunted, a challenger approaches behind him, idly appreciating the stranger's strength.
69 420, you say?
Across the room Shimoda Saji, with his 2 win perfect record and assets acquired of 4 billion, 21 million yen still has his perfect, python-like grip on Rihito. You can't hope to turn things around from this position, he says, even as Rihito's eyes bug out and he snarls like a cornered cat.
And then we get to see Ohma's opponent.
…yeah, what Ohma said, the fuck kinda goofy-ass stance is that?
And then we get to see Ohma's current state. Affiliated with Yamashita trading Company. 3 win perfect record. Assets acquired? 15 billion, 414 million.
Kushida finally catches up with Yamashita, complaining that he had her looking all over for him. But he's unbothered. With a confident smile he turns to her. He thinks he has a good idea of which fighters will stand unconquered at the end of this.
And then it turns out the Association doesn't accept bets as pedestrian as ten thousand yen. How plebeian, Kushida thinks.
…anyway, wasn't there a fight scene happening?
Right, yeah, Jerry Tyson.
Whatever his goofy-ass bullshit is, it's clearly taking Ohma completely by surprise. Particularly when, after streaking past him at Mach Fuck, the guy literally screeches to a halt on a penny and is careening back at Ohma within the second. And I do mean literally, he has a little sfx bubble next to him going EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK as he stops!
But Ohma hasn't seen anything yet, Jerry thinks to himself as launches repeatedly at Ohma at speed. Anytime, forever, he chases his enemy down until they're destroyed. That's the spirit of Xing Yi Quan.
Now, any of you with half an ounce of awareness of Chinese martial arts are probably aware that there's no Superman Pose in…any of those. At all, to my knowledge. But not to worry, it's time for a backstory cutaway!
Jerry Tyson was born in Detroit, a city in the US state Michigan, and all through his youth excelled in every sport he tried, particularly track sprinting. And when he was seventeen his family moved to china along with his father's job, where he discovered Chinese Wushu.
At least it isn't a white guy for once, I guess?
At this point however, a question reared its head in the back of his mind. Why animals? In an absolutely majestic display of both hubris and his uncanny ability to completely miss the fucking point, he came to conclusion that the days that animals claimed overwhelming power came to an end with the evolution of humans. Never mind the fact that humans still cannot physically keep up with many animals in terms of strength, speed, agility or resilience, that isn't even how this shit works. You don't just magically become as strong as a lion, you draw lessons from its bearing and motion to optimise a human's physicality for…you know what never fucking mind, we haven't even hit the dumbest part yet. Because when he's done wondering why he's imitating animals that are "weaker" than humans (mmfffffucking not how it works) he comes to the conclusion that what he should be imitating is…weapons. Yeah. Lotta lessons in how to move the human body for greatest effect to be learned from a fucking missile.
…Thinking about it, this might actually be the most bitingly accurate satire of American attitudes toward weapons I've ever seen. Food for thought.
Whatever, seven years later he apparently completed his own form of Xing Yi Quan that draws inspiration from modern weaponry. And the part he's most proud of is the Scud Missile technique. Now, as far as I can tell from a brief skim of the wiki page, the Scud missile is a broad category of ballistic missile. Gigantic fuck-off things that streak down out of the blue and blow you to shit, tactical weapons of linear destructive power. If his technique were just a ridiculously fast charging blow that makes use of his whole body the analogy would work. But according to Jerry Tyson, they can pull hairpin turns when dodged. I wasn't aware tactical ordinance had advanced homing capabilities sharp enough to be used in a dogfight.
Then, just to try to hype this deranged nonsense up some more, a rando decides that he wants to take a crack. Jerry's side is wide open, he says. Which is objectively true! His arms are pointed in front of him in the fucking superman pose! But ol' Jerry just says no. The man bounces off, pinwheeling away with a contrail of his own blood. Jerry is moving at high speeds, and weighs about 100 kilograms he says, attacking him when he's moving is like charging into a big rig in motion.
My…my fucking dude. That might make sense if they hit you from the front, but he was taking a shot at your fucking kidneys. Yeah your forward momentum probably deflects some of the strike's force, but that blow is perpendicular to the direction your stupid ass is moving.
Anyway, Jerry pulls another circle through the crowd, mowing people down, and retargets on Ohma once more. Being, as has hopefully become clear, rather fucking stupid, Jerry takes Ohma ceasing to dodge as him giving up. Only realising right at the last second that maybe the shit he's doing with his hands means something.
Ohma deftly pivots Jerry at the surrounding wall, to the man's shock and his own smug satisfaction. This is, unfortunately, not enough to stop him. Cackling about how Ohma's "more fresh than mama's apple pie" he hops into the air and flips, landing on the wall with his feet. Somehow this does not kill all his momentum, but instead redoubles it, and he launches himself off the wall at speeds enough that he decides he counts as a full metal jacket now.
Fucken, gimme a moment…[googling noises]...alright, a Full Metal Jacket is a kind of ammunition that surrounds the usual heavier, softer lead alloy core with a Jacket of a much harder metal. This allows for higher muzzle velocities, which I guess is where the reference is going here. Makes way more sense than the Scud missile nonsense.
Anyway, his thoughtless ricochet has now put him onto an imminent collision course with Akiyama. Whoopsie doodle!
Apparently now he can't pull those hairpin turns he was doing so handily before, so Akiyama is in mortal peril I guess. It's not the stupidest swerve this fight has taken, actually it's probably the first one that makes full sense and follows from the aesthetic of his technique. But it's come on the heels of so much arbitrary bullshit that all the intended effect is just completely lost on me.
Whatever, it's fine anyway, Ohma's here to save the day.
Is this what Ohma actually flirting looks like?
Akiyama might be distracted from her initial surprise right now, but Jerry sure as hell isn't. While the writers turn what could have been a cute moment into more stupid, sexist bullshit by mishandling the bickering that follows, Jerry sits flat on his ass and wonders how he managed to avoid a collision. And furthermore, how the hell he got knocked back what looks like almost twenty feet when he was charging forward with his full weight.
Ohma, apparently getting bored with bullying Akiyama, turns on Jerry. He doesn't like using this technique, he claims. He thinks its lame, you see. So Jerry had best be careful, because unlike the redirection kata, he doesn't have full control over this one.
And so we see our second technique of the Niko Style. The Adamantine Kata: Indestructible. End chapter.
Oof, that was a long one. I'm not sure why this chapter is suddenly 31 pages long, when most of the previous have been 20-ish pages, but it is what it is. And what it is is another mixed bag. We have the first indication of something that'll be important with Yamashita, that's good. And another solid bit of worldbuilding on the Association itself, courtesy of Kushida. And would you look at all those colourful characters we'll probably see more of later.
And then Jerry Fucking Tyson, jesus christ. You'd think the writer of a martial arts manga would realise that learning an animal-themed martial art isn't like eating its heart to gain its strength, or some other linear buff. It's observing patterns of motion and posture, learning effective angles of attack, incisive philosophies of battle and ways to optimise the impact of human physiology. One could suggest the author does get it, and Jerry is supposed to come off as kind of a doofus, but then why does this demented nonsense get so much of the chapter dedicated to building heat for it? Maybe it's just heat for the Adamantine Kata, idk.
Side note, this chapter gave us a profile page for Kiryu Setsuna. And fucking christ.
Vindication once more. But in a bad way this time. Manga Don't Be Weird About etc etc.
See you all next time.
