Lealope
Not yet invincible
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Have you ever watched Evangelion? That is Evangelion. All of it. That, and symbolism.
Bond Breaker (SI - Multiverse Cross)
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
Have you ever watched Evangelion? That is Evangelion. All of it. That, and symbolism.
Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
And this is fanfiction of Evangelion. What's your point?
Besides, even in Evangelion, it wasn't quite that tangential and blunt. For the most part.
Lealope
Not yet invincible
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Shadenight already explained instory that he'd been forced (I'm not sure if this is an actual plot point that will come up later) to follow the conventions of the genre and story he was in.
Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
Really?
Hm. Must have missed that. I skipped over some stuff.
Alright then. Hopefully there'll be a point to this.
Lealope
Not yet invincible
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
... Did he just assume that, or is it an actual thing?
He sure took his mind-rape rather easily.
He sure took his mind-rape rather easily.
Lealope
Not yet invincible
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I'm assuming he's still cheery after finding out he doesn't have to suffer an eternity without coffee.... Did he just assume that, or is it an actual thing?
He sure took his mind-rape rather easily.
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
I think Shade is just going with the flow because he doesn't want to enter an Angst period, or so.
Or it could just be the coffee.
Still, I think the best thing he is doing for Shinji isn't the pep talk or trying to imitate Kamina, be rather that he is there for Shinji just to chat with him.
Or it could just be the coffee.
Still, I think the best thing he is doing for Shinji isn't the pep talk or trying to imitate Kamina, be rather that he is there for Shinji just to chat with him.
RazorBlaxe
Just another transient being
- Location
- Earth
What? You mean that due to the Medium of Principle thingy drinking/eating the spirit/soul of foodstuff in a 'verse will cause Shade to be affected by that specific 'verse Laws of Casualties thingies? Seems legit.
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
Err, yeah. Sure. Let's go with that.
Lealope
Not yet invincible
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Well, eating the soul food of a place and digesting the soul nutrients into his soul metabolism to build his soul legs might change him. Soul.
- Location
- None
Well, that was something.
For all that I don't really agree on a number of things, I am still entertained... and it does fit the with the whole Evangelion mood/stuff, additional bonus points.
For all that I don't really agree on a number of things, I am still entertained... and it does fit the with the whole Evangelion mood/stuff, additional bonus points.
None can really prove that reality is as they perceive it. Reality or dream, the entire experience of reality might be a delusion or even a dream made reality like the Marauders from Mage: The Ascension, stuck forever in your own delusions, affecting 'reality' around yourself so that it conforms to your delusion. Never truly objectively awake, things always being filtered through your delusions and perceptions so that you can't even notice what is happening. And there is no way to prove that isn't the case. Such a thing could be done in some Matrix analogue.
Basically, reality isn't inherently better than dreams, regardless of one's awareness or lack thereof of their situation. (Of course as an advocate of Virtualization and Virches it's pretty obvious I would have such an opinion.)
Basically, reality isn't inherently better than dreams, regardless of one's awareness or lack thereof of their situation. (Of course as an advocate of Virtualization and Virches it's pretty obvious I would have such an opinion.)
Last edited:
16
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter Fifteen
"I'm having a hard time following this line of thought," I said offhandedly as Shinji finally -after a long and arduous week of boring going around, doing shopping, cleaning the house, and whatnot- finally stepped inside the school. "I can understand a child's need for school, but frankly? I'd expect an Eva pilot to be taught privately by super-smart people. I mean, the 'salvation' of Japan and the world rests on your shoulders, and they send you to a public school."
"It's the only school there is," Shinji replied.
"I know that," I sighed. "And it's good you're going into school, trying to make friends and all...but it's not logical."
"I'm a fourteen year old piloting a giant robot against alien threats," Shinji dryly replied. "I don't think there's much logic in that either."
"Ah," I nodded. "I suppose you're right."
I grinned.
Canon-Shinji would never have made a rebuttal such as that one.
It had to be my positive influence at work.
Unfortunately, we couldn't even near the Magi system, and using the chain to pull a computer...didn't work. The computer came through just fine, but there was no connection to the internet, and no electricity.
Unless I managed to 'pull' an entire electric station, the entire internet...and so on, it would be useless.
Shinji came into class early, being presented by his teacher.
And I noticed that one of the desks had white flowers in a vase atop it.
I frowned.
White flowers on a vase...the student had died?
There hadn't been a death before, had there?
I scratched the lower side of my chin.
"Hello, my name is Shinji Ikari," Shinji said and bowed lightly, "And I'm a-"
"Murderer."
My eyes snapped to the glass-boy who was a friend of Toji.
I frowned.
Shinji's eyes widened.
"Aida!" the teacher exclaimed, but the glass-boy didn't stop. Oh, wait. Kensuke Aida. That was his name.
"You're the Eva Pilot, right?" Kensuke continued. "You're a murderer."
"Why? Because I killed an Angel?" Shinji replied, his expression puzzled.
"No, because you killed Toji and his sister! That's why!"
Kensuke stood up and slammed his hands on his desk.
My eyes widened.
Canon Derailment had begun with the fight against the first Angel?
Through two deaths?
Two...
The Ka-Chink.
I took a deep breath.
"So what!?" I snarled. "It's not like it was intentional! I was fighting an Angel, why weren't they in the shelters then?"
Shinji took a stand, my rebuttal becoming his.
"If you're a pilot, you should minimize casualties, not increase them!"
"If I had known they were in a building, I would have laid my life down to protect them! But I didn't know! You cannot fault me for not knowing, and if you really need a culprit, then blame the Angels for existing!"
I had opened my mouth.
But Shinji had stolen the words out of me.
I looked at him, shocked and surprised, pleasantly, at this change.
Kensuke ground his teeth, not willing to back down, but Shinji simply shook his head. "I am Shinji Ikari, pilot of the Evangelion Unit Zero One. The last line of defense between the Angels and the rest of the world. You owe me your lives. Is that clear? I didn't want to kill your friend, Aida. I am sorry it happened," Shinji stop, or your spine might grow beyond your body, "But I can't change the past. You need to move forward."
I began to clap.
Shinji gave me a light glare, but I simply kept on clapping.
"That was excellent," I said in earnest. "But...yeah, this changes everything."
Shinji walked to his seat and remained silent, while I turned thoughtful. "Apparently, the way the fight went differed from the Original Verse so much that instead of simply 'wounding' Toji's sister, both Toji and his sister died during it," and I heard two Ka-chinks. One after a short while from the other.
This wasn't about Shinji then, but about the people around him.
Shinji...
Shinji didn't want to remain alone.
He wanted praise, but his greatest fear was to be abandoned.
So...when everyone around him died, and he remained alone, then I'd disappear too.
...
I felt bile rise from the bottom of my throat.
Shinji was a good kid.
He wasn't excessively spoiled, or bratty, and he had a laid back and happy attitude most of the time.
And now the only way for me to reach the next world would be to...find a way to make him 'kill' all those around him?
Really?
I refused to do that.
It's not like I could anyway. I couldn't interact with them, could I?
What if instead it was simply a 'death bill' I had to fit?
Like, it didn't matter who died, as long as some people died?
I could kill Gendo if it came down to it, I suspected.
But was there someone who actually deserved it in the verse?
Would the death of a random character even work?
What about Pen-Pen?
I could try to strangle him to death and see if the chain clinked or not.
He was just an animal after all, wasn't he?
...
This was starting to get depressing.
I sighed.
So this was how the God-Author gave me blows, uh. Well, I wasn't going to lie down and take this.
"All right, here's how it's going to go," I said calmly to Shinji. "We're going to save everyone we can. Shinji, we'll need to upgrade from mere Hero to Super-Hero."
Shinji looked at me with a perplexed expression, and I grimaced. "I feel like people are going to die soon enough, Shinji...and it's up to us to stop this from happening."
Shinji began to scribble down 'What do you mean?' and I answered.
"It seems I'll have to stick into this world for a way, way longer time period," I grumbled. "Probably until you die of old age, I suspect, but still...this is your reality, and I progress through it when other people who might have become important to you die off. See Toji and his sister...with their deaths, my chain went 'Ka-chink'."
Shinji's eyes widened.
"Yeah, I didn't know that," I muttered. "But still...this changes everything. And nothing. Don't worry Shinji...I'll make sure you don't end up as Emiya."
Shinji frowned.
'Who is Emiya?'
"Ah...you don't know anything about Fate/Night? Well," I sighed, "You are in class...How about I tell you over lunch break? Just remind me when we're somewhere private."
I took out my bloc notes, and scribbled a few corrections.
1) I am Super-Imposed on another reality. Check Equals True.
2) My only contact is through the Chained One. Check Equals True.
3) I cannot contact anyone else. Check Equals True
4) The chain can pull through objects and animals, but not humans. Check Equals 'Verify on What definition of 'Animal' is there'.
5) The chain pulls through copies of objects, but souls of animals. Animals 'go in coma' (maybe they die after a while) if I take their souls. Check Equals Verify.
6) Super-Imposed copies of objects can only be done once per object. Check Equals True.
6a) The copies still maintain a sort of physicality with the things around them. A Soul-Ball will bounce off a real wall and a real or soul object. I am the only thing -with my bloc notes and my ipod- that can traverse real things. Soul-things do not acquire that property.
7) The chain 'advances' through a series of Ka-chink sounds heard by me alone, and the prerequisite for a world 'jump' varies. World Naruto had trust-building. World Shinji has Supporting Characters Death.
8) Some laws that are intrinsic to the universe carry through if I can be subjected to it. Symbolism with Evangelion. Have to query whether 'Slap-Stick' comedy is applicable or not. Although if anything physical isn't, then what about 'mentality'? Here to hoping I never end up in an universe where random 'Changes of Heart' are common. Like Star Wars. Going Full-Retard-Sith would be very bad. As going Full-Retard-Jedi I suppose.
The class began with a subdued tone.
I no longer looked forward to the afternoon, or the day after today, or the one yet to comes.
This was a hefty price to pay.
Either the protagonist suffered my loss after coming to trust me, or they suffered the loss of the people around them. But...
I quietly turned thoughtful.
I had just now told Shinji about it, hadn't I? If the concept persevered...
Then the chain right now would change once more into something else.
It no longer was about killing people around them.
That had to be it.
If the level of severity increased...
Oh.
Severity One: The Bond between me and the main character disappears.
Severity Two: The Bonds between the main character and the surrounding cast disappears.
Severity Three: ...Bonds?
"What could be worse than number one and number two?" I mumbled.
I scratched the back of my head.
There always was a light at the end of the tunnel.
The problem with me was that if I was the God-Author, then the light was a train going in the opposite direction.
Filled with rusty spikes.
And death didn't happen on impact.
...
I shuddered at the gory image.
Shinji gave me a concerned look, but I shook my head.
Everything was going to be fine.
I just had to last until 'Natural Death'.
I was going to end up going 'native' in the Evangelion Verse if this kept up.
Or...a small treacherous voice in the back of my head whispered...I could always find a way to kill Shinji.
I looked at the boy, and then shook my head firmly.
No.
There was a lot going on.
I refused to murder.
Toji's and his sister's deaths had been accidents. There was no conscious effort in killing them.
But I refused to allow another death.
Gendo was a sort-of grey zone...but that was the most I was willing to go for.
And really, that's because he kind-of wanted to 'die' anyway with his Redo of the Impact anyway.
I sighed.
...
And to think I had been happy at the thought of watching Shinji stand up for himself...
...
I needed another cup of coffee.
A strong one.
//I will (not) Rule. You will (not) Obey. He will (not) Suffer.
"I'm having a hard time following this line of thought," I said offhandedly as Shinji finally -after a long and arduous week of boring going around, doing shopping, cleaning the house, and whatnot- finally stepped inside the school. "I can understand a child's need for school, but frankly? I'd expect an Eva pilot to be taught privately by super-smart people. I mean, the 'salvation' of Japan and the world rests on your shoulders, and they send you to a public school."
"It's the only school there is," Shinji replied.
"I know that," I sighed. "And it's good you're going into school, trying to make friends and all...but it's not logical."
"I'm a fourteen year old piloting a giant robot against alien threats," Shinji dryly replied. "I don't think there's much logic in that either."
"Ah," I nodded. "I suppose you're right."
I grinned.
Canon-Shinji would never have made a rebuttal such as that one.
It had to be my positive influence at work.
Unfortunately, we couldn't even near the Magi system, and using the chain to pull a computer...didn't work. The computer came through just fine, but there was no connection to the internet, and no electricity.
Unless I managed to 'pull' an entire electric station, the entire internet...and so on, it would be useless.
Shinji came into class early, being presented by his teacher.
And I noticed that one of the desks had white flowers in a vase atop it.
I frowned.
White flowers on a vase...the student had died?
There hadn't been a death before, had there?
I scratched the lower side of my chin.
"Hello, my name is Shinji Ikari," Shinji said and bowed lightly, "And I'm a-"
"Murderer."
My eyes snapped to the glass-boy who was a friend of Toji.
I frowned.
Shinji's eyes widened.
"Aida!" the teacher exclaimed, but the glass-boy didn't stop. Oh, wait. Kensuke Aida. That was his name.
"You're the Eva Pilot, right?" Kensuke continued. "You're a murderer."
"Why? Because I killed an Angel?" Shinji replied, his expression puzzled.
"No, because you killed Toji and his sister! That's why!"
Kensuke stood up and slammed his hands on his desk.
My eyes widened.
Canon Derailment had begun with the fight against the first Angel?
Through two deaths?
Two...
The Ka-Chink.
I took a deep breath.
"So what!?" I snarled. "It's not like it was intentional! I was fighting an Angel, why weren't they in the shelters then?"
Shinji took a stand, my rebuttal becoming his.
"If you're a pilot, you should minimize casualties, not increase them!"
"If I had known they were in a building, I would have laid my life down to protect them! But I didn't know! You cannot fault me for not knowing, and if you really need a culprit, then blame the Angels for existing!"
I had opened my mouth.
But Shinji had stolen the words out of me.
I looked at him, shocked and surprised, pleasantly, at this change.
Kensuke ground his teeth, not willing to back down, but Shinji simply shook his head. "I am Shinji Ikari, pilot of the Evangelion Unit Zero One. The last line of defense between the Angels and the rest of the world. You owe me your lives. Is that clear? I didn't want to kill your friend, Aida. I am sorry it happened," Shinji stop, or your spine might grow beyond your body, "But I can't change the past. You need to move forward."
I began to clap.
Shinji gave me a light glare, but I simply kept on clapping.
"That was excellent," I said in earnest. "But...yeah, this changes everything."
Shinji walked to his seat and remained silent, while I turned thoughtful. "Apparently, the way the fight went differed from the Original Verse so much that instead of simply 'wounding' Toji's sister, both Toji and his sister died during it," and I heard two Ka-chinks. One after a short while from the other.
This wasn't about Shinji then, but about the people around him.
Shinji...
Shinji didn't want to remain alone.
He wanted praise, but his greatest fear was to be abandoned.
So...when everyone around him died, and he remained alone, then I'd disappear too.
...
I felt bile rise from the bottom of my throat.
Shinji was a good kid.
He wasn't excessively spoiled, or bratty, and he had a laid back and happy attitude most of the time.
And now the only way for me to reach the next world would be to...find a way to make him 'kill' all those around him?
Really?
I refused to do that.
It's not like I could anyway. I couldn't interact with them, could I?
What if instead it was simply a 'death bill' I had to fit?
Like, it didn't matter who died, as long as some people died?
I could kill Gendo if it came down to it, I suspected.
But was there someone who actually deserved it in the verse?
Would the death of a random character even work?
What about Pen-Pen?
I could try to strangle him to death and see if the chain clinked or not.
He was just an animal after all, wasn't he?
...
This was starting to get depressing.
I sighed.
So this was how the God-Author gave me blows, uh. Well, I wasn't going to lie down and take this.
"All right, here's how it's going to go," I said calmly to Shinji. "We're going to save everyone we can. Shinji, we'll need to upgrade from mere Hero to Super-Hero."
Shinji looked at me with a perplexed expression, and I grimaced. "I feel like people are going to die soon enough, Shinji...and it's up to us to stop this from happening."
Shinji began to scribble down 'What do you mean?' and I answered.
"It seems I'll have to stick into this world for a way, way longer time period," I grumbled. "Probably until you die of old age, I suspect, but still...this is your reality, and I progress through it when other people who might have become important to you die off. See Toji and his sister...with their deaths, my chain went 'Ka-chink'."
Shinji's eyes widened.
"Yeah, I didn't know that," I muttered. "But still...this changes everything. And nothing. Don't worry Shinji...I'll make sure you don't end up as Emiya."
Shinji frowned.
'Who is Emiya?'
"Ah...you don't know anything about Fate/Night? Well," I sighed, "You are in class...How about I tell you over lunch break? Just remind me when we're somewhere private."
I took out my bloc notes, and scribbled a few corrections.
1) I am Super-Imposed on another reality. Check Equals True.
2) My only contact is through the Chained One. Check Equals True.
3) I cannot contact anyone else. Check Equals True
4) The chain can pull through objects and animals, but not humans. Check Equals 'Verify on What definition of 'Animal' is there'.
5) The chain pulls through copies of objects, but souls of animals. Animals 'go in coma' (maybe they die after a while) if I take their souls. Check Equals Verify.
6) Super-Imposed copies of objects can only be done once per object. Check Equals True.
6a) The copies still maintain a sort of physicality with the things around them. A Soul-Ball will bounce off a real wall and a real or soul object. I am the only thing -with my bloc notes and my ipod- that can traverse real things. Soul-things do not acquire that property.
7) The chain 'advances' through a series of Ka-chink sounds heard by me alone, and the prerequisite for a world 'jump' varies. World Naruto had trust-building. World Shinji has Supporting Characters Death.
8) Some laws that are intrinsic to the universe carry through if I can be subjected to it. Symbolism with Evangelion. Have to query whether 'Slap-Stick' comedy is applicable or not. Although if anything physical isn't, then what about 'mentality'? Here to hoping I never end up in an universe where random 'Changes of Heart' are common. Like Star Wars. Going Full-Retard-Sith would be very bad. As going Full-Retard-Jedi I suppose.
The class began with a subdued tone.
I no longer looked forward to the afternoon, or the day after today, or the one yet to comes.
This was a hefty price to pay.
Either the protagonist suffered my loss after coming to trust me, or they suffered the loss of the people around them. But...
I quietly turned thoughtful.
I had just now told Shinji about it, hadn't I? If the concept persevered...
Then the chain right now would change once more into something else.
It no longer was about killing people around them.
That had to be it.
If the level of severity increased...
Oh.
Severity One: The Bond between me and the main character disappears.
Severity Two: The Bonds between the main character and the surrounding cast disappears.
Severity Three: ...Bonds?
"What could be worse than number one and number two?" I mumbled.
I scratched the back of my head.
There always was a light at the end of the tunnel.
The problem with me was that if I was the God-Author, then the light was a train going in the opposite direction.
Filled with rusty spikes.
And death didn't happen on impact.
...
I shuddered at the gory image.
Shinji gave me a concerned look, but I shook my head.
Everything was going to be fine.
I just had to last until 'Natural Death'.
I was going to end up going 'native' in the Evangelion Verse if this kept up.
Or...a small treacherous voice in the back of my head whispered...I could always find a way to kill Shinji.
I looked at the boy, and then shook my head firmly.
No.
There was a lot going on.
I refused to murder.
Toji's and his sister's deaths had been accidents. There was no conscious effort in killing them.
But I refused to allow another death.
Gendo was a sort-of grey zone...but that was the most I was willing to go for.
And really, that's because he kind-of wanted to 'die' anyway with his Redo of the Impact anyway.
I sighed.
...
And to think I had been happy at the thought of watching Shinji stand up for himself...
...
I needed another cup of coffee.
A strong one.
//I will (not) Rule. You will (not) Obey. He will (not) Suffer.
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
Holy crap, Shade. You're going at, like, 5-Hivers or something.
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
*shrugs*
If something grips me, I can easily go 32K words a day.
Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
While this was perfectly justified, the choice of words ... was not optimal. Especially the last few lines, which seem to come off as 'yeah, your friend died, now grow the fuck up and get over it.' and the 'you owe me your lives' bit didn't help. It was too confrontational, too dismissive.
It may come back to bite him, is all I'm saying. Not that I have any problem with either the words or their consequences, just pointing out that Kensuke's not exactly going to be a fan. Or quite a few of the other classmates.
Also, I think that should be 'Shinji snarled', not 'I snarled', given that Shinji's the one saying it.
EDIT: Actually, how does Kensuke know Shinji's the pilot? No one was sure in canon, after all.
Last edited:
- Location
- None
I think Kensuke just took a chance and since Shinji reacted and did not deny being the pilot then he continued. He might have apologized if he'd been wrong and Shinji had told him he wasn't the pilot.
But that's not the case in this scenario.
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
My canon memories are sketchy too, but what made me cinch the deal was the fact that Kensuke's got one parent listed as working in Nerv.
My train of thought was that he found out info from his parents during Toji's funeral.
Something like...
"Killed so young..."
"The pilot of the Eva couldn't have fought elsewhere?"
"I heard he's Commander Ikari's son!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
*A week Later*
"Hello, I'm Shinji Ikari."
Kensuke Thought: What are the chances this is Commander Ikari's son?
My train of thought was that he found out info from his parents during Toji's funeral.
Something like...
"Killed so young..."
"The pilot of the Eva couldn't have fought elsewhere?"
"I heard he's Commander Ikari's son!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
*A week Later*
"Hello, I'm Shinji Ikari."
Kensuke Thought: What are the chances this is Commander Ikari's son?
Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
Seems a bit ... off, to start with an accusation of murder. You'd think he'd first ascertain it using normal methods, and then go for the third-degree.
Also, I wonder why people expected Shinji to be the pilot in the first place. He was 14, and they didn't know Rei was a pilot before either.
EDIT: Ninja'd.
Also, I wonder why people expected Shinji to be the pilot in the first place. He was 14, and they didn't know Rei was a pilot before either.
EDIT: Ninja'd.
Wait, so one of them died during the battle, and another later at the hospital?
asdx
Superior Sword Fairy
- Location
- Texas.
Its burning grip commands you!
What? How? I can only get 2-3k at most, before losing my inspiration!
17
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter Sixteen
Shinji found a quiet spot by standing up at break and heading for the roof. Not so surprisingly, nobody followed him.
He reached for the rooftop and closed the door behind him, before hugging himself and sitting down, his back against the wall.
"You couldn't have known," I began, but he shook his head.
"What I said before," he said, "I'm feeling sick just remembering it."
"What? Taking a stand?"
"I just...I felt so angry," Shinji mumbled. "I should have said something else."
"Probably," I shrugged. "But what could you have said?"
"I don't know...but I told them something like 'You owe me your lives!'"
"That's not a lie," I pointed out. "Everyone on this world owes his life to you."
Shinji shook his head. "But I'm just a boy. It's the Eva who..."
"An Eva only you can pilot makes you a fundamental part of it."
Shinji slowly unpacked his lunch. "I'm not hungry."
"Well, I'm never hungry, but I eat in order to remember the tastes," I said, and 'pulled' the lunch over. "Still, don't beat yourself up over something you had no control over."
Shinji tried a weak nod, but otherwise remained huddled in his corner.
"How was it meant to go?" Shinji asked.
"The Angel would have attacked you, you would have gone down. Then, the Eva would have woken up and proceeded to kill the Angel...I think it was when you were thrown against the buildings, maybe the debris that fell killed one on the spot and the other later...It would answer why there was a delay with the chain."
Shinji turned quiet.
"He would have become one of my friends?" Shinji asked.
"Yes, and then you would have fought and nearly killed him later on," I replied calmly. "After an Angel entered his Eva, forcing you to battle it."
Shinji gasped for air, and clenched the neck of his shirt. "Why?"
"Because one of the upcoming Angel would take possession of the Eva in question, that's why."
"Are more people going to die?"
"That is obvious," I replied calmly. "You know, up until now, I thought 'the people who aren't meant to die are not going to die before their time' but you see, it appears I was wrong. There's no hardcoded immortality. A butterfly can and will erase from the maps a city, apparently. So...nothing changes."
"How can you say that?" Shinji asked.
"If I hadn't been here...then yes, maybe Toji would still be alive...but would you have known it? Would you have known he wasn't meant to die? No. This feeling you're feeling right now is no different than what a you without me would feel. The difference is, we can still strive to make things better. Shinji, you're also a soldier. You're in a war against the Angels. So...you need to learn how to fight, and the weapons with which you're going to fight."
"I'm not a soldier," Shinji murmured. "I'm barely a hero."
"Oh well," I shrugged. "I think I have a song somewhere around here," I said offhandedly, going through my Ipod selection. "Ah, 'I'll make a man out of you ' from Disney's film Mulan sounds just..."
"How can you be fine about it?" Shinji asked abruptly.
"What do you mean?"
"Two people died, and you're...flipping through your music library!"
"I did say you can't change the past, right?" I replied softly.
"Still, you told me to fight!" Shinji said, "Shouldn't you feel some guilt over it?"
I sighed. "I apologize, but being an incorporeal entity, with a complete lack of chances of relations if not with the person whom I am chained to does not aid my fragile psychological state much."
Shinji frowned, not understanding what I was saying. I was being pretty vague myself.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Shinji...everything around you disappears, and you wake in a foreign land with the ability to talk only with another person, and to interact with objects but not with the rest of the world...I mean...you're my only contact with the rest of the world. Sure, you're a good kid and all...but I can't even surf the net, or watch a movie, or play a game, and what about my family, my friends, my life? Yanked away like this," I snapped my fingers, "So what if two persons died when they shouldn't have? Maybe you'll save someone destined to die now."
A light breeze ruffled Shinji's hair. I sighed and brought my hands crossed behind my head, letting my form float softly against the wall.
"You have it tough too," Shinji muttered after a while.
"Great Scott, indeed my friend," I drawled out. "You're Captain Obvious, aren't you?"
Shinji bristled, but I shrugged and smiled. "Take this as a joke, Shinji. I'm not insulting you. It's friendly banter. You know how it works?"
Shinji shook his head.
"Well," I said. "Friends say 'You shouldn't go this fast'. Best friends say something like 'You idiot! We're all going to die!' 'Don't sweat it! I've got this!'."
"Uhm..."
"Or, you know," I remarked. "Something like saying 'I'll take this in the name of the great nation of Shade!' rather than 'Mind if I borrow your eraser?' sort of thing."
Shinji chuckled. "The great nation of Shade?"
"The great Shade nation. Where everything is under a shade, and there are shades, nightshades, and everything shady is done under the shades."
"And what about the Shinji nation?" he asked.
"Well, if that's your nation, then you should think about what you want into it. I suggest you remember to feed your people. They get cranky if they're not fed."
Silence descended once more.
With Shinji, 'silence' was an actual mean of communication. Just as 'yelling' was Naruto's.
It became the routine.
Shinji wasn't bullied in class -frankly, being an Eva pilot actually gave him a sort of fan-base, even though nobody dared get close to him- but he didn't make friends, at all.
Kensuke kept his glare full on, and so did Shinji.
Two weeks passed with Shinji doing homework -and I helping when it came to Math or English...because Japanese History was definitely not my forte. And since I 'pulled' over the school books, which I could read even though they were in Japanese...probably, he had the aid of an always present 'Ghost-Speaker' when it came to answering questions in class.
The word-of-mouth gave thus the vision of Shinji Ikari as a smart young boy with a prideful streak in his defense of Japan while piloting the Eva.
It couldn't have been more far from the Canon-Shinji, but it was good to see a positive change for one.
Even if the Class-Rep every now and then glared at him from behind his back.
I sighed. There was a sort of 'romance' going on between her and Toji, wasn't it?
Still...two weeks.
And finally, Rei Ayanami entered the classroom bandaged heavily.
Shinji didn't gasp or stare at her.
Well, he did stare a bit, but not much.
"Welcome back Ayanami," the teacher said with a kind voice, as the girl merely ignored her and sat down at her seat.
Shinji didn't turn, but scribbled down on his notebook.
'What's her story?'
I took a deep breath.
"That's a very, very, very long story...potentially, a mind-breaking one."
Shinji grimaced.
I had told him that Gendo Ikari had designed various levels of 'Screwing Up Shinji' in his plan.
'What can you tell me?'
"She's the pilot of the Eva zero-zero," I said. "If you hadn't sortied immediately, she would have gone in your place...or at least, your father would have ordered her to pilot, and then you would have stepped in to stop her and go."
I turned thoughtful.
"She's wounded like that because her unit went berserk when she tried to synchronize with it, in case you're curious. And she lives alone, can't take care of herself, and has no knowledge of what 'emotions' are or how to act. There's a good reason for it, but basically...consider her an emotionally stunted newborn who barely knows how to function."
Shinji gave me a stiff nod.
On the rooftop during break, I quietly floated down to be at Shinji's seated level as he took a chessboard.
"So, ready to get schooled once more, Shinji?" I asked with a light grin.
"We're five to eight, Shade," he replied calmly.
"That's just because you're lucky, that's what," I remarked.
"You keep on saying that, but chess isn't about luck," Shinji said, and made his first move.
"I think you misplace my own pawns willingly, that's what," I grumbled, and gestured for the horse to go on the offense. "Blitzkrieg! I call blitzkrieg!"
"It doesn't mean anything what you're saying."
"It doesn't have to," I sighed. "I declare the horses go first as a blitzkrieg. They will sacrifice themselves to soften the blows of the incoming peon armada."
Shinji chuckled nervously. "That's not how you play chess."
"I know, but playing 'simply' chess is boring. And you know," I waved my hand around. "There's the 'symbolism' of chess being a similar thing to war while in fact it's utter bollocks."
He moved another pawn, and I had him move my second horse. "You see, you don't wait for the enemy's turn in the war. You should take the advantage, strike at them and relentlessly pursue. Playing the waiting game is stupid, because it's filled with unknown variables. At least, when you attack, you know that you're attacking, and you know with what forces...sure you don't know the defenses, but..."
I hummed. "Usually, you mount the attack because you know what's waiting for you, and you think you're going to win...but the most important thing is that during the attack..."
I moved a pawn to free the road for my rook.
"Is to have the first line know they're going to die, and have them accept it and charge forward all the same."
I gently tapped the horse, even though my finger went through it. "If this were real life, the horse would refuse to move. 'Why Should I go to my death? Why don't you go?' and the answer's obvious. 'Because I'm the King. Because I'm the one who guides you.' But even that has its limits. The end of the line is..."
I gestured at the king. "Because there is something you must protect."
"You mean, like how I protect the world by piloting the Eva, right?" Shinji asked.
"Well, that too," I nodded. "Just remember, no matter what, protect. That will be enough. Even without the Eva," I added softly. "It is not the Eva that defines you, but you who define the Eva. Keep that in mind when you meet Asuka, in case I won't be there."
Shinji nodded.
The door of the rooftop opened suddenly.
"Pilot Ikari," Rei Ayanami stood by the doorway, heavily bandaged.
Shinji frowned. "Ayanami?"
"Why are you here?"
Shinji shrugged. "I'm playing chess."
Rei inclined her head to the side.
"Alone?"
"Try to smile without looking creepy Shinji," I said with a knowing nod. "Come on Romeo! Deliver upon us in the crowd a macho line! 'I was waiting for a beauty such as yourself to near me!' or go Emo and go with 'Alone is all the company I need!' get it going, Shinji!"
Shinji spluttered and I laughed.
As Rei didn't move, in wait for an answer, Shinji smiled softly. "I was playing with a good friend."
"Aw...that's so unfair," I said with another chuckle. "She can't see me."
Rei predictably frowned. "There is no one else on the rooftop, Pilot Ikari."
"Just because you can't see him, doesn't mean he's not real," Shinji replied with a shrug.
"Ask her if she wants to play chess," I said. "And while you're at it, add the cheesy line by excellence 'Do you wanna be my friend, pwetty please?'."
Shinji turned an embarrassingly red color, and I laughed a bit harder at that.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach twist in a type of pain that made my face blanch and my eyes widen.
I had forgotten what pain felt like.
Shinji was looking at Rei, and didn't notice.
I clenched my stomach, my heart, my chest, the pain seemed to be all-encompassing.
It was like feeling your very own innards revolt and twist and brutally try to murder each other.
I floated below the level of the ground and literally barfed and spewed out everything I had eaten -which was nothing. There was nothing I was spewing out if not a thick, crimson liquid that eerily reminded me of blood.
I gasped for air as the spewing ended, and my body trembled a bit more. I breathed, deeply, the taste of blood still thick on my mouth.
Quietly, I extracted my bloc notes.
With a shaky breath and a half-steady handwriting, I scribbled down one more point on my 'rules'.
9) There is a time limit. The penalty is pain...or death?
// Despair will (not) end. Angst will (not) fall. Plot Twist will (not) Twist.
Shinji found a quiet spot by standing up at break and heading for the roof. Not so surprisingly, nobody followed him.
He reached for the rooftop and closed the door behind him, before hugging himself and sitting down, his back against the wall.
"You couldn't have known," I began, but he shook his head.
"What I said before," he said, "I'm feeling sick just remembering it."
"What? Taking a stand?"
"I just...I felt so angry," Shinji mumbled. "I should have said something else."
"Probably," I shrugged. "But what could you have said?"
"I don't know...but I told them something like 'You owe me your lives!'"
"That's not a lie," I pointed out. "Everyone on this world owes his life to you."
Shinji shook his head. "But I'm just a boy. It's the Eva who..."
"An Eva only you can pilot makes you a fundamental part of it."
Shinji slowly unpacked his lunch. "I'm not hungry."
"Well, I'm never hungry, but I eat in order to remember the tastes," I said, and 'pulled' the lunch over. "Still, don't beat yourself up over something you had no control over."
Shinji tried a weak nod, but otherwise remained huddled in his corner.
"How was it meant to go?" Shinji asked.
"The Angel would have attacked you, you would have gone down. Then, the Eva would have woken up and proceeded to kill the Angel...I think it was when you were thrown against the buildings, maybe the debris that fell killed one on the spot and the other later...It would answer why there was a delay with the chain."
Shinji turned quiet.
"He would have become one of my friends?" Shinji asked.
"Yes, and then you would have fought and nearly killed him later on," I replied calmly. "After an Angel entered his Eva, forcing you to battle it."
Shinji gasped for air, and clenched the neck of his shirt. "Why?"
"Because one of the upcoming Angel would take possession of the Eva in question, that's why."
"Are more people going to die?"
"That is obvious," I replied calmly. "You know, up until now, I thought 'the people who aren't meant to die are not going to die before their time' but you see, it appears I was wrong. There's no hardcoded immortality. A butterfly can and will erase from the maps a city, apparently. So...nothing changes."
"How can you say that?" Shinji asked.
"If I hadn't been here...then yes, maybe Toji would still be alive...but would you have known it? Would you have known he wasn't meant to die? No. This feeling you're feeling right now is no different than what a you without me would feel. The difference is, we can still strive to make things better. Shinji, you're also a soldier. You're in a war against the Angels. So...you need to learn how to fight, and the weapons with which you're going to fight."
"I'm not a soldier," Shinji murmured. "I'm barely a hero."
"Oh well," I shrugged. "I think I have a song somewhere around here," I said offhandedly, going through my Ipod selection. "Ah, 'I'll make a man out of you ' from Disney's film Mulan sounds just..."
"How can you be fine about it?" Shinji asked abruptly.
"What do you mean?"
"Two people died, and you're...flipping through your music library!"
"I did say you can't change the past, right?" I replied softly.
"Still, you told me to fight!" Shinji said, "Shouldn't you feel some guilt over it?"
I sighed. "I apologize, but being an incorporeal entity, with a complete lack of chances of relations if not with the person whom I am chained to does not aid my fragile psychological state much."
Shinji frowned, not understanding what I was saying. I was being pretty vague myself.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Shinji...everything around you disappears, and you wake in a foreign land with the ability to talk only with another person, and to interact with objects but not with the rest of the world...I mean...you're my only contact with the rest of the world. Sure, you're a good kid and all...but I can't even surf the net, or watch a movie, or play a game, and what about my family, my friends, my life? Yanked away like this," I snapped my fingers, "So what if two persons died when they shouldn't have? Maybe you'll save someone destined to die now."
A light breeze ruffled Shinji's hair. I sighed and brought my hands crossed behind my head, letting my form float softly against the wall.
"You have it tough too," Shinji muttered after a while.
"Great Scott, indeed my friend," I drawled out. "You're Captain Obvious, aren't you?"
Shinji bristled, but I shrugged and smiled. "Take this as a joke, Shinji. I'm not insulting you. It's friendly banter. You know how it works?"
Shinji shook his head.
"Well," I said. "Friends say 'You shouldn't go this fast'. Best friends say something like 'You idiot! We're all going to die!' 'Don't sweat it! I've got this!'."
"Uhm..."
"Or, you know," I remarked. "Something like saying 'I'll take this in the name of the great nation of Shade!' rather than 'Mind if I borrow your eraser?' sort of thing."
Shinji chuckled. "The great nation of Shade?"
"The great Shade nation. Where everything is under a shade, and there are shades, nightshades, and everything shady is done under the shades."
"And what about the Shinji nation?" he asked.
"Well, if that's your nation, then you should think about what you want into it. I suggest you remember to feed your people. They get cranky if they're not fed."
Silence descended once more.
With Shinji, 'silence' was an actual mean of communication. Just as 'yelling' was Naruto's.
It became the routine.
Shinji wasn't bullied in class -frankly, being an Eva pilot actually gave him a sort of fan-base, even though nobody dared get close to him- but he didn't make friends, at all.
Kensuke kept his glare full on, and so did Shinji.
Two weeks passed with Shinji doing homework -and I helping when it came to Math or English...because Japanese History was definitely not my forte. And since I 'pulled' over the school books, which I could read even though they were in Japanese...probably, he had the aid of an always present 'Ghost-Speaker' when it came to answering questions in class.
The word-of-mouth gave thus the vision of Shinji Ikari as a smart young boy with a prideful streak in his defense of Japan while piloting the Eva.
It couldn't have been more far from the Canon-Shinji, but it was good to see a positive change for one.
Even if the Class-Rep every now and then glared at him from behind his back.
I sighed. There was a sort of 'romance' going on between her and Toji, wasn't it?
Still...two weeks.
And finally, Rei Ayanami entered the classroom bandaged heavily.
Shinji didn't gasp or stare at her.
Well, he did stare a bit, but not much.
"Welcome back Ayanami," the teacher said with a kind voice, as the girl merely ignored her and sat down at her seat.
Shinji didn't turn, but scribbled down on his notebook.
'What's her story?'
I took a deep breath.
"That's a very, very, very long story...potentially, a mind-breaking one."
Shinji grimaced.
I had told him that Gendo Ikari had designed various levels of 'Screwing Up Shinji' in his plan.
'What can you tell me?'
"She's the pilot of the Eva zero-zero," I said. "If you hadn't sortied immediately, she would have gone in your place...or at least, your father would have ordered her to pilot, and then you would have stepped in to stop her and go."
I turned thoughtful.
"She's wounded like that because her unit went berserk when she tried to synchronize with it, in case you're curious. And she lives alone, can't take care of herself, and has no knowledge of what 'emotions' are or how to act. There's a good reason for it, but basically...consider her an emotionally stunted newborn who barely knows how to function."
Shinji gave me a stiff nod.
On the rooftop during break, I quietly floated down to be at Shinji's seated level as he took a chessboard.
"So, ready to get schooled once more, Shinji?" I asked with a light grin.
"We're five to eight, Shade," he replied calmly.
"That's just because you're lucky, that's what," I remarked.
"You keep on saying that, but chess isn't about luck," Shinji said, and made his first move.
"I think you misplace my own pawns willingly, that's what," I grumbled, and gestured for the horse to go on the offense. "Blitzkrieg! I call blitzkrieg!"
"It doesn't mean anything what you're saying."
"It doesn't have to," I sighed. "I declare the horses go first as a blitzkrieg. They will sacrifice themselves to soften the blows of the incoming peon armada."
Shinji chuckled nervously. "That's not how you play chess."
"I know, but playing 'simply' chess is boring. And you know," I waved my hand around. "There's the 'symbolism' of chess being a similar thing to war while in fact it's utter bollocks."
He moved another pawn, and I had him move my second horse. "You see, you don't wait for the enemy's turn in the war. You should take the advantage, strike at them and relentlessly pursue. Playing the waiting game is stupid, because it's filled with unknown variables. At least, when you attack, you know that you're attacking, and you know with what forces...sure you don't know the defenses, but..."
I hummed. "Usually, you mount the attack because you know what's waiting for you, and you think you're going to win...but the most important thing is that during the attack..."
I moved a pawn to free the road for my rook.
"Is to have the first line know they're going to die, and have them accept it and charge forward all the same."
I gently tapped the horse, even though my finger went through it. "If this were real life, the horse would refuse to move. 'Why Should I go to my death? Why don't you go?' and the answer's obvious. 'Because I'm the King. Because I'm the one who guides you.' But even that has its limits. The end of the line is..."
I gestured at the king. "Because there is something you must protect."
"You mean, like how I protect the world by piloting the Eva, right?" Shinji asked.
"Well, that too," I nodded. "Just remember, no matter what, protect. That will be enough. Even without the Eva," I added softly. "It is not the Eva that defines you, but you who define the Eva. Keep that in mind when you meet Asuka, in case I won't be there."
Shinji nodded.
The door of the rooftop opened suddenly.
"Pilot Ikari," Rei Ayanami stood by the doorway, heavily bandaged.
Shinji frowned. "Ayanami?"
"Why are you here?"
Shinji shrugged. "I'm playing chess."
Rei inclined her head to the side.
"Alone?"
"Try to smile without looking creepy Shinji," I said with a knowing nod. "Come on Romeo! Deliver upon us in the crowd a macho line! 'I was waiting for a beauty such as yourself to near me!' or go Emo and go with 'Alone is all the company I need!' get it going, Shinji!"
Shinji spluttered and I laughed.
As Rei didn't move, in wait for an answer, Shinji smiled softly. "I was playing with a good friend."
"Aw...that's so unfair," I said with another chuckle. "She can't see me."
Rei predictably frowned. "There is no one else on the rooftop, Pilot Ikari."
"Just because you can't see him, doesn't mean he's not real," Shinji replied with a shrug.
"Ask her if she wants to play chess," I said. "And while you're at it, add the cheesy line by excellence 'Do you wanna be my friend, pwetty please?'."
Shinji turned an embarrassingly red color, and I laughed a bit harder at that.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach twist in a type of pain that made my face blanch and my eyes widen.
I had forgotten what pain felt like.
Shinji was looking at Rei, and didn't notice.
I clenched my stomach, my heart, my chest, the pain seemed to be all-encompassing.
It was like feeling your very own innards revolt and twist and brutally try to murder each other.
I floated below the level of the ground and literally barfed and spewed out everything I had eaten -which was nothing. There was nothing I was spewing out if not a thick, crimson liquid that eerily reminded me of blood.
I gasped for air as the spewing ended, and my body trembled a bit more. I breathed, deeply, the taste of blood still thick on my mouth.
Quietly, I extracted my bloc notes.
With a shaky breath and a half-steady handwriting, I scribbled down one more point on my 'rules'.
9) There is a time limit. The penalty is pain...or death?
// Despair will (not) end. Angst will (not) fall. Plot Twist will (not) Twist.