Bond Breaker (SI - Multiverse Cross)
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
105
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- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter One Hundred and Four
"Why?" I asked as I bleakly watched Yui step inside the bath -while I was in the shower.
"We're brother and sister," Yui replied with a light giggle. "There's nothing wrong with this."
I hate you, Harem Laws.
"I hope you have a swimsuit on. I will have words about what is proper and what is not if you don't."
"Meanie," Yui said with a -probably- pout on her face. "Of course I have a swimsuit."
"Still doesn't excuse you," I remarked. "So, what's so important you had to ask me while I was in the shower?"
I heard a loud sigh. "I saw what you did," Yui said. "I...You know," she hazarded, "You always told me to keep it hidden."
I blinked. "Oh," I said.
"If they knew what we are," Yui continued meekly, "They'd harass us, hunt us, drive us away. They did that with dad and mom, didn't they? Exorcised them. I don't want to be exorcised, big brother."
"Uhm..." I swallowed thickly. I was the Necronomicon, apparently. So then, what was Yui? "Well," I remarked, "What's the problem? Let's just keep this hidden."
"It's easy for you to say," Yui replied bitterly. "Whenever you use your powers people forget about them. When I do, people want to burn me alive."
So witchcraft? Yui was a Witch?
"Well," I said offhandedly. "It's not that bad."
"I'm the Arcana Grimoire," Yui flatly said. "With my destruction, the Youkai would no longer have their magical powers. They'd be able to live normal lives. Magic would disappear. All of it."
I blinked. "And what if I were destroyed?" I retorted offhandedly.
Yui didn't answer.
I waited for a few moments, and then asked again.
"What would happen if I were destroyed?"
"A world with no shadows," Yui said back to me. "A world with no fear. No despair. No sadness. A world where everyone is happy...even as they pluck out each other's eyes. A world where fear doesn't exist is a world where toddlers resolutely march into the fire, where adults cross the road with the red light on and get run over and nobody cries for their deaths. A world of pure happiness, even in the face of death."
I exhaled, loudly.
My death was the mean to go through.
But if I died, I would condemn the world.
Yeah, nice way to make a checkmate. If I moved on, I had a higher chance of reaching the 'root of all evil' and solve the problem. If I didn't, I was literally stuck in here, in this limbo.
Well played, you bastard.
Horrifying to behold, but well played.
As I finished showering and peeked out, I grabbed the offered towel from Yui who turned her gaze away -good girl.
"So," I said. "You don't have to worry about this any longer. I already told them I'm not interested in a relationship. Well, I told Zelda. I'll tell Elsa and Megan next...I can't even remember confessing to Megan to begin with."
Yui looked at me with a puzzled expression. "You can't remember?"
I shook my head.
"Did someone rip some pages out of you?" Yui asked. "That would explain why you can't remember, but...even a page of the Necronomicon is a powerful cursed item. If it's enough to make you lose your memories..."
I grimaced. "Well," this was a Harem Situation of course, but it also mixed magic, highschool, and thus it also needed to have a 'plot' of sorts. "We'll see. I'm sure they'll make a fuss eventually."
"It could be bad," Yui mumbled. "Really bad. What if they're destroyed? You'll lose yourself. And the shadows would grow weaker, and people would stop to fear, and act recklessly..."
"Let's not bandage our head before we break it," I replied, patting Yui's head as I took the hairdryer and started to dry her.
She was wearing a school Swimsuit -one of those one piece blue things.
After her hair was dry, it was the turn of mine.
And once that was done, she stepped out of the room with a cheeky grin.
I changed, got dressed in black slacks, and marched off to face my destiny.
...
Well, more aptly put, I marched off to the kitchen to check the fridge.
Zelda was no longer there, but apparently, my fridge seemed to hold a vast assortment of frozen foods.
...
And frozen drinks.
...
Well.
Apparently, Elsa was taking a nap inside my fridge.
...
Don't ask.
Just...don't ask.
"Ahem," I coughed as politely as I could, making the woman blink as she woke up. "Why the fridge?"
"Is she gone?" Elsa asked, utterly unperturbed as she stepped out of my fridge.
"You're in my fridge," I said.
"Well, I didn't want to talk with that hussy," Elsa remarked. "So I hid."
"In the fridge."
"I could have hidden in the oven," Elsa continued, "But the fridge seemed a nice alternative."
I breathed in deeply, enough to fill my lungs, before I started to open the cupboards for food.
"So," I remarked. "We know each other since childhood?"
"Well, yeah," Elsa said. "You don't...remember?"
"Afraid not," I said in a whisper.
Elsa looked uncomfortably to the side, and then clenched her fists. "I overheard you speaking with that hussy. You don't...you promised me."
"And I don't remember any of it," I replied. "We can be friends," I continued, quickly, before she could reply, "But we can't be anything more until I reacquire my memories, you see. It wouldn't be real otherwise. I wouldn't be 'me'."
Elsa huffed as a few crystals of ice left her hair. "But we can make new memories, right?"
Please don't use the Disney logic on me.
Not when I'm literally an incarnation of Lovecraft's themes in this world.
"Sure, I suppose we can," I replied. "And maybe who knows, I might remember about the past too."
Elsa grinned at that.
And then the window exploded as someone came flying in.
Someone in a metallic suit very similar to Iron-Man, if not for the decorative head flaps that made it resemble a Geth.
"Ops!" Megan exclaimed, her voice distorted by the robotic suit. "Sorry citizen! I absolutely had no idea what-"
"Megan, I know it's you," I replied flatly as Elsa had her hands up, ice already flowing out of her hands. I gestured to her to calm down, and Elsa obeyed, grumbling still.
"Well, I..." Megan hesitated, and then flapped her head in a mimicked expression of a sad face.
I sighed as the kitchen's door opened -or well, it was kicked down- by Zelda stepping inside sword drawn, and screaming, "Nobody moves! Who's-"
I found what I was looking for in a nearby cupboard.
"All right, you three," Yui took that moment to step inside, a perplexed expression on her face, "you four," I amended, "Sit down. I'll cook something."
Yui quickly scrambled for the main seat.
The rest of the women looked hesitant.
"No fighting around me, in front of me, or at all," I continued. "If I hear about it, I will get mad," I added. "Now, sit. And Megan? Can you kindly remove your helmet?"
Megan beeped, and her helmet came away to reveal a normal, average female face.
There...wasn't really much to describe her as.
She was common. Average. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes...and nothing else of particular.
As I put the water to boil and headed for the fridge to grab the tomatoes, I gave a peculiar 'good' glare to the four seated women who were doing their hardest to act as much well-behaved as they could possibly be.
"So~" Yui began with a chirping voice that foreboded hell on earth, while she smiled as cutely as a shark watching a bleeding lamb swim in the water. "My big brother is lucky to have such pretty girls pinning for him~ I should be jealous since I love my big brother very much~ But I think we should get to know each other better, right~ My big brother is so useless when it comes to love, he always listens to what I have to say on the argument~"
I proceeded to let my knuckles meet Yui's top of the head.
"Enough teasing."
Elsa smiled warmly at that.
"You and your sister have such a nice relationship," she said softly.
I raised an eyebrow.
Wasn't she Anna's sister in this 'AU' setting?
It seemed strange.
Maybe there was trouble, somehow. Uh...maybe Anna wasn't a Youkai, while Elsa was, and this created tensions in the household?
Somehow, I knew the despair stemmed from both sisters being unable to come to terms with their differences. And as I-
I blinked.
I knew Despair.
I literally knew the source of despair of people around me.
Damn it, Lovecraft, I don't want to know that!
Although this is better than Disney, I still don't want to know that!
It's their life, their choices, not mine! I'm not the one who should meddle!
I began to whistle a happy tune as I started to slice the tomatoes.
The water began to boil, and I grabbed the pan for the fresh tomato sauce.
It's not really a difficult recipe.
Slice tomatoes into thin cubes, add some oil, a pinch of salt -and a tiny, tiny amount of sugar if it tastes too acidic for your tongue. And then make it turn around on the pan for a while, let it cook, add some liquid cream to mollify the flavor and when you're done remember to have grated cheese with your pasta of choice.
If you're feeling adventurous, make Pesto at the same time and add that too to obtain a 'tricolore' sauce.
As I finished preparing lunch, I was glad I threw half a kilo of the stuff.
We were, after all, in five.
Although usually I threw half a kilo of pasta for a group of three.
...
What can I say? My brother and I eat for an army, and my grandmother relatively little.
And my mother can't eat pasta, so...
...
Keep it together, Shade.
This is not the Feels time.
Keep it together.
...
You even have such a cute little sister. Not at all like that moron and imbecile of a younger brother who enjoys riling you up at every occasion.
Keep it together.
...
Keep. It. Together.
They're not even your 'real' family.
You're just a copy.
You're a Shade, Shade, the copy of the real author. You're not real. They're not your family. You're nothing more than a pathetic attempt at a Self-Insert gone horribly wrong in the meta-sense.
Keep it together.
Don't cry.
Move on.
I grinned as I served lunch.
Way better to be cheerful than to be mopey.
As lunch went by, I finally managed to ask.
"So...no school today?"
"No, uhm," Elsa blushed, "They're still...repairing the school."
"If you hadn't gone that out of control, it wouldn't have happened," Zelda remarked dryly.
"I'd probably be dead if she hadn't intervened," I said. I had intended to die, after all. By altering the laws, making a satellite fall on my head and moving 'on' to the next world. "You know, the satellite falling..."
"I know, but she had no reason to go out of control afterwards," Zelda continued. "She could have hurt someone with the snowstorm."
"You were brandishing a sword and waving it around like a lunatic," Elsa replied. "You were clearly the most dangerous."
"I was merely intervening to protect the students," Zelda said.
"If you had listened to Shade's words," Elsa remarked, "You wouldn't have charged in. I heard him trying to explain things."
"Shade's too meek for his own good. He's got no steel in his spine."
I spluttered at that.
"Big brother's surprisingly steely when it comes to-"
"You try a double-meaning and I will personally ensure you regret ever taking your first breath," I hissed out with enough hatred to make the table tremble.
That, and my eyes narrowed into pits of burning darkness.
Yui grinned 'brightly' and 'cutely' and made a 'Tee-Hee-Hee' sound.
I lifted my right hand in a fist and 'cracked' my knuckles.
Megan inclined her head to the side. "You shouldn't threaten your sister with body harm," she said.
"Nothing else will work unfortunately," I sighed. "And it's not like I'm hurting anything inside her head."
"Oi!" Yui pouted, "Are you implying I'm air-headed?!"
"No, that would mean having something inside your head," I pointed out. "You're Null-Headed, I suppose."
Sticking out her tongue, Yui stood up and scrambled for my side, before flailing her arms and ending up on my lap.
...
I have a personal space thing, thank you very much. Stop wriggling trying to become some sort of child kangaroo. No, I do not have a pouch to carry you with.
Stop it.
By all that is holy...
I ended up like a mother koala.
Namely, Yui was now on my back, arms crossed around my neck, her chin propped down on my head.
And she was grinning like a loon who had won the lottery.
"I have conquered Mount Shade in the name of the Yui kingdom," Yui said primly.
Megan inclined her head to the side.
"Don't," I said calmly, gritting my teeth as the excessive amount of fluff began to make me physically ill.
"Well," I said with a sigh as the silence seemed to stretch. "As I said before, I can't seem to remember any of my past with any of you, nor the confession, nor the childhood promise, nor the marriage contract. As much as I'm sure another guy would feel lucky to have three beautiful women pining for him, I'm not that 'other' guy. I apologize, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Especially not without the memories I seem to be lacking. I'm sorry," I bowed my head. "But we can still be friends. At least, until I get my memories back. Then I'll probably apologize and whatnot, but until then, it would be best for all of us if we just didn't leave this matter hanging."
There.
Elsa and Zelda had already heard it, so they merely nodded, their smiles bitter, but they said nothing more.
Megan on the other hand...
"We're meant to be together," Megan said primly. "I will not tolerate you forgetting."
I blinked.
Oi.
Megan.
You can't seriously tell me you're-
"I have always loved you," Megan continued, her helmet calmly moving back to cover her head. "We'll always be together."
Of course.
It had felt out of character for me to 'confess'. No matter the Universe, I'm not the type to go into random confessions. So of course, it either had to be a misunderstanding...or something worse.
"You confessed to me. We're meant to marry, have children, live a long life together, and die together, hands clasped."
A rifle appeared in her hands as she began to fly -of course, the window was still broken, but she was flying in the kitchen.
"I will not tolerate you forgetting about our pure love like this. If you won't remember, I'll make you remember. Sword-Mode initialized," she beeped, and her entire demeanor changed -as well as her suit, which went from Paragon Blue to Renegade Red.
"Love me, my one true love." Megan said. "Or die with me."
A wall of ice and a shining sword rose at the same time to parry the crimson blade of Megan.
Yandere?
Really?!
COME ON.
What are we missing in this shit?! What next?! Tentacle po-Wait, Necronomicon means Cthulhu stuff, no, never mind, you know what? Nope. Lol-Nope. Nada. Not thinking about that.
And I DARE YOU TO MAKE THE FANSERVICE EPISODE, YOU BASTARD. The one at the beach. Every anime has a fanservice episode at the beach.
And I despise them.
The kitchen exploded outwardly as Megan soared in the sky, while I ended up protected by a pale blue and gold shield formed by Zelda and Elsa.
Megan had shoulder-pads filled with missiles.
She had missiles in her shoulders and she opened fire.
Of course.
Megan was a Cyborg.
So...
Cyborg.
Exorcist.
Youkai.
For the love of- this is a shitty B-rank Harem.
Come on! At least give this story a better spin!
No.
Apparently it had to be a battle in the town center between a psychopathic yandere cybord, Elsa with Disney Laws and Youkai powers, and Zelda being a sword-wielding exorcist.
...
Girls, get yourself something better to do in the afternoon than fight over me, especially because I told you not to.
Especially because I outright stated I'm not interested.
Come on. This is stupid. I'm sure you all have brains in there, and better things to do, and I'm sure there are dozens if not hundreds of people better than me that you can find...
"We should stop them before it gets out of hand," Yui said.
"Should I just call upon my mystic powers?" I remarked sarcastically.
"If you want to," Yui said. "Yours are the only ones that come with the patented 'So traumatizing it makes people forget you used them'."
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I'll never escape Harem Laws, will I?"
Yui giggled. "Big Brother, you just have to chose me and all will be solved~"
"No thanks, I refuse," I said flatly.
"Muh-Nyah~"
"Enough with the strange horrifying verses, those are my specialty, right?" I remarked.
"Well," Yui pouted, still hanging from my back. "Who are you going to call for the party?"
I frowned and looked up at the sky. "Can only be one god good enough for this situation."
I coughed.
"Well," I hummed..."This is embarrassing..."
Yui giggled. "I can't believe you're having performance issues-"
"Enough with the double meanings!" I barked.
"Fine!" Yui pouted.
I dropped her on what remained of the kitchen, and then lifted my right hand up in the air.
"He Who Must Not Be Named, The Unspeakable One, Hastur, the King in Yellow, answer the call of your master, you, the Feaster from Afar, shriveled mass of tentacles and razor tipped limbs come forth!"
I felt immensely stupid.
It was like being in one of those silly Shonen where you go with a long incantation that 'looks' sort of cool and that has children all around the world imitate it.
And of course, it didn't work.
Yui laughed at that.
"Silly brother! It's not a matter of words! It's a matter of intent! Did you forget how that works too?!"
Oh...
"Say that sooner," I snarled.
The bubbling darkness within the deepest corner of despair rose like a frothing cacophony of madness, as the crimson eyes of soulless monsters shrieked their unforgiving blasphemous chants. Within countless eons, the yellow tattered robes flung and snaked across a body unmentioned, as sharp talons dug within flesh and skulls, mushed brains and shrieks of pain.
And he who feasted rose to answer the call of its bounded tome, by the pen wielded by he who knew the deepest of darkness, he rose and he obeyed.
The Kitchen was back in one place.
Megan scratched the back of her head, and winced as she felt a little sore from what looked like a tiny hole dug into her neck.
The hole closed quickly, disappearing as soon as it had been felt.
So too did it happen for Elsa and Zelda.
I exhaled.
"As I was saying," I said dryly. Really, this was chauvinism. The very world conspired to have me in a harem situation. I hated this. "I cannot seem to remember properly who is my girlfriend...and so, I'm sorry, really, but I think it would be best if we got to know each other again, before committing myself in a relationship. I think it would be fair for you too. I mean, I might not ever reacquire my memories, right? And it would be best if we got to know each other again."
Megan opened her mouth, and I inwardly winced, but then, she said flatly. "Acceptable. I will win your heart back."
"The hell you will," Elsa snapped.
"I'm the one with a contract for an arranged marriage," Zelda said primly.
I brought my hands to cover my face as the girls bickered.
"I love my Big Brother so much I'll marry him~" Yui cheerfully said.
I proceeded to slam my knuckles against her head.
...
Harem Shenanigans, why are you so difficult to reap out? Why?! WHY?!
I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU RESPITE
"Why?" I asked as I bleakly watched Yui step inside the bath -while I was in the shower.
"We're brother and sister," Yui replied with a light giggle. "There's nothing wrong with this."
I hate you, Harem Laws.
"I hope you have a swimsuit on. I will have words about what is proper and what is not if you don't."
"Meanie," Yui said with a -probably- pout on her face. "Of course I have a swimsuit."
"Still doesn't excuse you," I remarked. "So, what's so important you had to ask me while I was in the shower?"
I heard a loud sigh. "I saw what you did," Yui said. "I...You know," she hazarded, "You always told me to keep it hidden."
I blinked. "Oh," I said.
"If they knew what we are," Yui continued meekly, "They'd harass us, hunt us, drive us away. They did that with dad and mom, didn't they? Exorcised them. I don't want to be exorcised, big brother."
"Uhm..." I swallowed thickly. I was the Necronomicon, apparently. So then, what was Yui? "Well," I remarked, "What's the problem? Let's just keep this hidden."
"It's easy for you to say," Yui replied bitterly. "Whenever you use your powers people forget about them. When I do, people want to burn me alive."
So witchcraft? Yui was a Witch?
"Well," I said offhandedly. "It's not that bad."
"I'm the Arcana Grimoire," Yui flatly said. "With my destruction, the Youkai would no longer have their magical powers. They'd be able to live normal lives. Magic would disappear. All of it."
I blinked. "And what if I were destroyed?" I retorted offhandedly.
Yui didn't answer.
I waited for a few moments, and then asked again.
"What would happen if I were destroyed?"
"A world with no shadows," Yui said back to me. "A world with no fear. No despair. No sadness. A world where everyone is happy...even as they pluck out each other's eyes. A world where fear doesn't exist is a world where toddlers resolutely march into the fire, where adults cross the road with the red light on and get run over and nobody cries for their deaths. A world of pure happiness, even in the face of death."
I exhaled, loudly.
My death was the mean to go through.
But if I died, I would condemn the world.
Yeah, nice way to make a checkmate. If I moved on, I had a higher chance of reaching the 'root of all evil' and solve the problem. If I didn't, I was literally stuck in here, in this limbo.
Well played, you bastard.
Horrifying to behold, but well played.
As I finished showering and peeked out, I grabbed the offered towel from Yui who turned her gaze away -good girl.
"So," I said. "You don't have to worry about this any longer. I already told them I'm not interested in a relationship. Well, I told Zelda. I'll tell Elsa and Megan next...I can't even remember confessing to Megan to begin with."
Yui looked at me with a puzzled expression. "You can't remember?"
I shook my head.
"Did someone rip some pages out of you?" Yui asked. "That would explain why you can't remember, but...even a page of the Necronomicon is a powerful cursed item. If it's enough to make you lose your memories..."
I grimaced. "Well," this was a Harem Situation of course, but it also mixed magic, highschool, and thus it also needed to have a 'plot' of sorts. "We'll see. I'm sure they'll make a fuss eventually."
"It could be bad," Yui mumbled. "Really bad. What if they're destroyed? You'll lose yourself. And the shadows would grow weaker, and people would stop to fear, and act recklessly..."
"Let's not bandage our head before we break it," I replied, patting Yui's head as I took the hairdryer and started to dry her.
She was wearing a school Swimsuit -one of those one piece blue things.
After her hair was dry, it was the turn of mine.
And once that was done, she stepped out of the room with a cheeky grin.
I changed, got dressed in black slacks, and marched off to face my destiny.
...
Well, more aptly put, I marched off to the kitchen to check the fridge.
Zelda was no longer there, but apparently, my fridge seemed to hold a vast assortment of frozen foods.
...
And frozen drinks.
...
Well.
Apparently, Elsa was taking a nap inside my fridge.
...
Don't ask.
Just...don't ask.
"Ahem," I coughed as politely as I could, making the woman blink as she woke up. "Why the fridge?"
"Is she gone?" Elsa asked, utterly unperturbed as she stepped out of my fridge.
"You're in my fridge," I said.
"Well, I didn't want to talk with that hussy," Elsa remarked. "So I hid."
"In the fridge."
"I could have hidden in the oven," Elsa continued, "But the fridge seemed a nice alternative."
I breathed in deeply, enough to fill my lungs, before I started to open the cupboards for food.
"So," I remarked. "We know each other since childhood?"
"Well, yeah," Elsa said. "You don't...remember?"
"Afraid not," I said in a whisper.
Elsa looked uncomfortably to the side, and then clenched her fists. "I overheard you speaking with that hussy. You don't...you promised me."
"And I don't remember any of it," I replied. "We can be friends," I continued, quickly, before she could reply, "But we can't be anything more until I reacquire my memories, you see. It wouldn't be real otherwise. I wouldn't be 'me'."
Elsa huffed as a few crystals of ice left her hair. "But we can make new memories, right?"
Please don't use the Disney logic on me.
Not when I'm literally an incarnation of Lovecraft's themes in this world.
"Sure, I suppose we can," I replied. "And maybe who knows, I might remember about the past too."
Elsa grinned at that.
And then the window exploded as someone came flying in.
Someone in a metallic suit very similar to Iron-Man, if not for the decorative head flaps that made it resemble a Geth.
"Ops!" Megan exclaimed, her voice distorted by the robotic suit. "Sorry citizen! I absolutely had no idea what-"
"Megan, I know it's you," I replied flatly as Elsa had her hands up, ice already flowing out of her hands. I gestured to her to calm down, and Elsa obeyed, grumbling still.
"Well, I..." Megan hesitated, and then flapped her head in a mimicked expression of a sad face.
I sighed as the kitchen's door opened -or well, it was kicked down- by Zelda stepping inside sword drawn, and screaming, "Nobody moves! Who's-"
I found what I was looking for in a nearby cupboard.
"All right, you three," Yui took that moment to step inside, a perplexed expression on her face, "you four," I amended, "Sit down. I'll cook something."
Yui quickly scrambled for the main seat.
The rest of the women looked hesitant.
"No fighting around me, in front of me, or at all," I continued. "If I hear about it, I will get mad," I added. "Now, sit. And Megan? Can you kindly remove your helmet?"
Megan beeped, and her helmet came away to reveal a normal, average female face.
There...wasn't really much to describe her as.
She was common. Average. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes...and nothing else of particular.
As I put the water to boil and headed for the fridge to grab the tomatoes, I gave a peculiar 'good' glare to the four seated women who were doing their hardest to act as much well-behaved as they could possibly be.
"So~" Yui began with a chirping voice that foreboded hell on earth, while she smiled as cutely as a shark watching a bleeding lamb swim in the water. "My big brother is lucky to have such pretty girls pinning for him~ I should be jealous since I love my big brother very much~ But I think we should get to know each other better, right~ My big brother is so useless when it comes to love, he always listens to what I have to say on the argument~"
I proceeded to let my knuckles meet Yui's top of the head.
"Enough teasing."
Elsa smiled warmly at that.
"You and your sister have such a nice relationship," she said softly.
I raised an eyebrow.
Wasn't she Anna's sister in this 'AU' setting?
It seemed strange.
Maybe there was trouble, somehow. Uh...maybe Anna wasn't a Youkai, while Elsa was, and this created tensions in the household?
Somehow, I knew the despair stemmed from both sisters being unable to come to terms with their differences. And as I-
I blinked.
I knew Despair.
I literally knew the source of despair of people around me.
Damn it, Lovecraft, I don't want to know that!
Although this is better than Disney, I still don't want to know that!
It's their life, their choices, not mine! I'm not the one who should meddle!
I began to whistle a happy tune as I started to slice the tomatoes.
The water began to boil, and I grabbed the pan for the fresh tomato sauce.
It's not really a difficult recipe.
Slice tomatoes into thin cubes, add some oil, a pinch of salt -and a tiny, tiny amount of sugar if it tastes too acidic for your tongue. And then make it turn around on the pan for a while, let it cook, add some liquid cream to mollify the flavor and when you're done remember to have grated cheese with your pasta of choice.
If you're feeling adventurous, make Pesto at the same time and add that too to obtain a 'tricolore' sauce.
As I finished preparing lunch, I was glad I threw half a kilo of the stuff.
We were, after all, in five.
Although usually I threw half a kilo of pasta for a group of three.
...
What can I say? My brother and I eat for an army, and my grandmother relatively little.
And my mother can't eat pasta, so...
...
Keep it together, Shade.
This is not the Feels time.
Keep it together.
...
You even have such a cute little sister. Not at all like that moron and imbecile of a younger brother who enjoys riling you up at every occasion.
Keep it together.
...
Keep. It. Together.
They're not even your 'real' family.
You're just a copy.
You're a Shade, Shade, the copy of the real author. You're not real. They're not your family. You're nothing more than a pathetic attempt at a Self-Insert gone horribly wrong in the meta-sense.
Keep it together.
Don't cry.
Move on.
I grinned as I served lunch.
Way better to be cheerful than to be mopey.
As lunch went by, I finally managed to ask.
"So...no school today?"
"No, uhm," Elsa blushed, "They're still...repairing the school."
"If you hadn't gone that out of control, it wouldn't have happened," Zelda remarked dryly.
"I'd probably be dead if she hadn't intervened," I said. I had intended to die, after all. By altering the laws, making a satellite fall on my head and moving 'on' to the next world. "You know, the satellite falling..."
"I know, but she had no reason to go out of control afterwards," Zelda continued. "She could have hurt someone with the snowstorm."
"You were brandishing a sword and waving it around like a lunatic," Elsa replied. "You were clearly the most dangerous."
"I was merely intervening to protect the students," Zelda said.
"If you had listened to Shade's words," Elsa remarked, "You wouldn't have charged in. I heard him trying to explain things."
"Shade's too meek for his own good. He's got no steel in his spine."
I spluttered at that.
"Big brother's surprisingly steely when it comes to-"
"You try a double-meaning and I will personally ensure you regret ever taking your first breath," I hissed out with enough hatred to make the table tremble.
That, and my eyes narrowed into pits of burning darkness.
Yui grinned 'brightly' and 'cutely' and made a 'Tee-Hee-Hee' sound.
I lifted my right hand in a fist and 'cracked' my knuckles.
Megan inclined her head to the side. "You shouldn't threaten your sister with body harm," she said.
"Nothing else will work unfortunately," I sighed. "And it's not like I'm hurting anything inside her head."
"Oi!" Yui pouted, "Are you implying I'm air-headed?!"
"No, that would mean having something inside your head," I pointed out. "You're Null-Headed, I suppose."
Sticking out her tongue, Yui stood up and scrambled for my side, before flailing her arms and ending up on my lap.
...
I have a personal space thing, thank you very much. Stop wriggling trying to become some sort of child kangaroo. No, I do not have a pouch to carry you with.
Stop it.
By all that is holy...
I ended up like a mother koala.
Namely, Yui was now on my back, arms crossed around my neck, her chin propped down on my head.
And she was grinning like a loon who had won the lottery.
"I have conquered Mount Shade in the name of the Yui kingdom," Yui said primly.
Megan inclined her head to the side.
"Don't," I said calmly, gritting my teeth as the excessive amount of fluff began to make me physically ill.
"Well," I said with a sigh as the silence seemed to stretch. "As I said before, I can't seem to remember any of my past with any of you, nor the confession, nor the childhood promise, nor the marriage contract. As much as I'm sure another guy would feel lucky to have three beautiful women pining for him, I'm not that 'other' guy. I apologize, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Especially not without the memories I seem to be lacking. I'm sorry," I bowed my head. "But we can still be friends. At least, until I get my memories back. Then I'll probably apologize and whatnot, but until then, it would be best for all of us if we just didn't leave this matter hanging."
There.
Elsa and Zelda had already heard it, so they merely nodded, their smiles bitter, but they said nothing more.
Megan on the other hand...
"We're meant to be together," Megan said primly. "I will not tolerate you forgetting."
I blinked.
Oi.
Megan.
You can't seriously tell me you're-
"I have always loved you," Megan continued, her helmet calmly moving back to cover her head. "We'll always be together."
Of course.
It had felt out of character for me to 'confess'. No matter the Universe, I'm not the type to go into random confessions. So of course, it either had to be a misunderstanding...or something worse.
"You confessed to me. We're meant to marry, have children, live a long life together, and die together, hands clasped."
A rifle appeared in her hands as she began to fly -of course, the window was still broken, but she was flying in the kitchen.
"I will not tolerate you forgetting about our pure love like this. If you won't remember, I'll make you remember. Sword-Mode initialized," she beeped, and her entire demeanor changed -as well as her suit, which went from Paragon Blue to Renegade Red.
"Love me, my one true love." Megan said. "Or die with me."
A wall of ice and a shining sword rose at the same time to parry the crimson blade of Megan.
Yandere?
Really?!
COME ON.
What are we missing in this shit?! What next?! Tentacle po-Wait, Necronomicon means Cthulhu stuff, no, never mind, you know what? Nope. Lol-Nope. Nada. Not thinking about that.
And I DARE YOU TO MAKE THE FANSERVICE EPISODE, YOU BASTARD. The one at the beach. Every anime has a fanservice episode at the beach.
And I despise them.
The kitchen exploded outwardly as Megan soared in the sky, while I ended up protected by a pale blue and gold shield formed by Zelda and Elsa.
Megan had shoulder-pads filled with missiles.
She had missiles in her shoulders and she opened fire.
Of course.
Megan was a Cyborg.
So...
Cyborg.
Exorcist.
Youkai.
For the love of- this is a shitty B-rank Harem.
Come on! At least give this story a better spin!
No.
Apparently it had to be a battle in the town center between a psychopathic yandere cybord, Elsa with Disney Laws and Youkai powers, and Zelda being a sword-wielding exorcist.
...
Girls, get yourself something better to do in the afternoon than fight over me, especially because I told you not to.
Especially because I outright stated I'm not interested.
Come on. This is stupid. I'm sure you all have brains in there, and better things to do, and I'm sure there are dozens if not hundreds of people better than me that you can find...
"We should stop them before it gets out of hand," Yui said.
"Should I just call upon my mystic powers?" I remarked sarcastically.
"If you want to," Yui said. "Yours are the only ones that come with the patented 'So traumatizing it makes people forget you used them'."
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I'll never escape Harem Laws, will I?"
Yui giggled. "Big Brother, you just have to chose me and all will be solved~"
"No thanks, I refuse," I said flatly.
"Muh-Nyah~"
"Enough with the strange horrifying verses, those are my specialty, right?" I remarked.
"Well," Yui pouted, still hanging from my back. "Who are you going to call for the party?"
I frowned and looked up at the sky. "Can only be one god good enough for this situation."
I coughed.
"Well," I hummed..."This is embarrassing..."
Yui giggled. "I can't believe you're having performance issues-"
"Enough with the double meanings!" I barked.
"Fine!" Yui pouted.
I dropped her on what remained of the kitchen, and then lifted my right hand up in the air.
"He Who Must Not Be Named, The Unspeakable One, Hastur, the King in Yellow, answer the call of your master, you, the Feaster from Afar, shriveled mass of tentacles and razor tipped limbs come forth!"
I felt immensely stupid.
It was like being in one of those silly Shonen where you go with a long incantation that 'looks' sort of cool and that has children all around the world imitate it.
And of course, it didn't work.
Yui laughed at that.
"Silly brother! It's not a matter of words! It's a matter of intent! Did you forget how that works too?!"
Oh...
"Say that sooner," I snarled.
The bubbling darkness within the deepest corner of despair rose like a frothing cacophony of madness, as the crimson eyes of soulless monsters shrieked their unforgiving blasphemous chants. Within countless eons, the yellow tattered robes flung and snaked across a body unmentioned, as sharp talons dug within flesh and skulls, mushed brains and shrieks of pain.
And he who feasted rose to answer the call of its bounded tome, by the pen wielded by he who knew the deepest of darkness, he rose and he obeyed.
The Kitchen was back in one place.
Megan scratched the back of her head, and winced as she felt a little sore from what looked like a tiny hole dug into her neck.
The hole closed quickly, disappearing as soon as it had been felt.
So too did it happen for Elsa and Zelda.
I exhaled.
"As I was saying," I said dryly. Really, this was chauvinism. The very world conspired to have me in a harem situation. I hated this. "I cannot seem to remember properly who is my girlfriend...and so, I'm sorry, really, but I think it would be best if we got to know each other again, before committing myself in a relationship. I think it would be fair for you too. I mean, I might not ever reacquire my memories, right? And it would be best if we got to know each other again."
Megan opened her mouth, and I inwardly winced, but then, she said flatly. "Acceptable. I will win your heart back."
"The hell you will," Elsa snapped.
"I'm the one with a contract for an arranged marriage," Zelda said primly.
I brought my hands to cover my face as the girls bickered.
"I love my Big Brother so much I'll marry him~" Yui cheerfully said.
I proceeded to slam my knuckles against her head.
...
Harem Shenanigans, why are you so difficult to reap out? Why?! WHY?!
I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU RESPITE
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
Its a really shame there is no icon for compassionate sympathy.
Oh wait. *Hugs*
Oh wait. *Hugs*
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
He can summon things with tentacles.
He can summon things. Things from beyond the starts, things from beyond the Universe. Ancient gods who have slept for eons in the aether between worlds and who are so alien the mere sight of one can drive a man to madness. Creatures of vast power, who could destroy planets with a blink, and the only reason humanity exists at all is that they have not given a thought to us. So we worship them in the vain hope, that they will spare the maddened remains of souls when they awake.
Ia ia cthulhu fhtagn ia r'lyeh cthulhu fhtagn!
Alphaleph
The Firstiest of First
I think he's gone that route in Fate/Stay verse.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
Hora.
Also, I only see one way out of this for Shade. Pull a Kamina. I mean, obviously, without the death. He sets up somebody else as the protagonist (maybe several) each matched to the girl in question.
Link for Zelda, Harbinger for Shield, and ...Ganon (desert king) with Elsa (Ice queen).
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
You know, its kinda annoying, and immature how the Harem Laws are applied in this world. If you just go with the flow, you're suffer the stupid shit a harem protag has to go through, which is obvious. But if you try to be logical and use your brain, and say try to stop all the romancing to focus on the important stuff, the world goes out of its way and apply yandere consequences to force you to play the harem cliches.
I mean, really, Ascended? You're being childish.
I mean, really, Ascended? You're being childish.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
Really, all he has to do is either:
a) Have somebody replace him.
b) Choose one.
or
c) Duplicate himself.
a) Have somebody replace him.
b) Choose one.
or
c) Duplicate himself.
This is the only option!
Fallenblades643
Seeker of the Divine Taste
"Awaken Sleeping one! The Drums Quiet! And with the Silence comes the end! There shall be no Dawn! Awaken The Nuclear Chaos Azathoth!"
End it Shade! Become the Harbinger of the end of all things! Use the Awakening to tear apart all that they built and leave not even ruins!
End it Shade! Become the Harbinger of the end of all things! Use the Awakening to tear apart all that they built and leave not even ruins!
Duh, the explicit goal is to make him suffer. I am just surprised that they are not more clingy and hugging him at every opportunity.
They're biding their time.
106
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter One Hundred and Five
It was a simple plan, really.
Joker said it first.
'It's simple. We kill the batman.'
Everyone tried complicated plans, and the Joker admittedly did the same -although making it look simple. But in fact, it was very simple.
I had to demolish the setting in order to move on.
I had to 'kill' the setting. To 'End' it.
It was a Harem Highschool Multicross Au.
I had to demolish it.
And the Highschool was the easiest thing to remove.
I looked at the large building under repairs, and hummed a catchy tune as I felt the rippling screams of a hundred dying breaths tore asunder the souls of countless thousand years, all pooled and condensed into a sickening second of dread and hatred.
The large fist the size of a house crashed down upon the building, leaving behind nothing but a bizarre hand print too alien to be recognized as such.
I turned and began to walk away from the ruin, the mantle flapping in the wind. Well, Chuunibyou syndrome or not, wearing a dark mantle and a skull mask clearly marked me as an 'Evil' Guy, which made it all the more easy to distance from the persona of 'Shade' the Main Character of a Harem Trope.
The reality itself seemed to have acknowledged it too, for I met with no resistance at all as I walked through the city at night, as if whatever kept an eye out on Youkai and such didn't care for my passage.
This reality had rules, but they were wish-washed into a cauldron, weakening them all or forming something truly terrifying in the long run.
Now, for what concerned the Harem situation...maybe I'd do as the whisper in my head seemed to suggest.
Blood for the blood god.
Skulls for the skulls throne.
Maim. Burn. Kill.
And if I could set the Necronomicon's pages up with someone else, then I'd be free to-
Oh, but that would mean losing my powers on altering reality.
Which would, in turn, mean someone else would acquire them.
...
'The Voice' had pulled me in a corner.
Predictably, the easiest way would be to commit suicide.
But in doing so, I'd go against the rule I set out when I began this trip. The unspoken rule. The quiet rule. The silent rule. 'Everyone is real, so treat them accordingly'. Which is admittedly a rule a lot of SI glaze over, or take them as obvious without explaining them, but in this case, it was different.
If I took them all as real, then my death meant their death.
I had already condemned countless.
What were a few more?
Nothing, nothing but drops of water in an ocean known as my madness.
But I was not going to lose that little remnant of sanity I still had, not if I could avoid it.
The setting was no longer a Highschool now. I could feel the 'beast' twist and twitch, trying to come up with other things, altering 'the plot progression' changing the 'episodes' modifying the 'chapters' and doing everything it could to form up another story.
Like punching a hedgehog, the system was now on the defensive, curled in a ball with sharp needles. Police car and their sirens passed me by as I kept to the shadows, headed for the Highschool. Overhead, flying creatures -maybe Police-Youkai, maybe something else- patrolled now.
It was really amusing how merely walking in the dark alleys kept everything hidden from the sight of others. Of course, I probably had unfair help in being 'half as powerful' as the creator of the reality itself.
We were locked, deadly so, in a final confrontation.
This was limbo, for as long as I decided to keep being 'human enough' to let the others survive.
...
There had to be another way.
There always was another way.
I just had to find it.
I'd keep the powers, but I'd hand off the 'girls'...then again, no, that wasn't right per se.
You can't just toy with human emotions and-
Yes, yeah, yeah I get it, this is terrifyingly hypocrite of me to say now, especially when looking back at the 'break you through words' period, but it was a fact now.
And considering Megan was a potential Yandere, unless I found a way to dismantle her without killing her, it would be quite difficult to 'peg her off' someone else.
What I could do was be as little interesting as possible, until they grew bored.
Yeah.
Passive.
Being passive is easy.
You just have to let the world come on you and do nothing, and eventually-
A sound of engines followed that of a high pitched battle scream forced me to jump sideways, avoiding an otherwise lethal slash.
My 'dark cape of Chuunibyou+9999' billowed in the dark wind as I jumped atop a nearby building's roof, soon followed by Megan, apparently in combat mode.
EPISODE-ONE.
What? What the hell-
SCHOOL OF DEMONS, MAGIC, AND HORRORS.
I dodged a swipe. I sidestepped a thrust. Oh god no.
This was the start of an anime season.
And it was in Medias Res.
"Cursed Person located," Megan beeped, sword shining brightly with crimson fury. "Purification required."
Her sword ignited with fire.
"I purge with righteous zeal," Megan said firmly.
I lifted my right hand and called forth my lightsaber.
This was clearly an 'opening' for an anime season. You know, when they want people to actually watch an anime series, they start with the first episode filled with action, fights, chaos, and then devolve it into hapless and contrite stuff? Same thing here.
Heck. I could even hear the opening OST singing right now.
Course, as my blade deflected a blow, I knew this wasn't casual.
Me? Sword training? Never in my life.
But it didn't matter.
This was the opening, and I was cast as the evil character.
This meant it didn't matter if I couldn't use swords before now, if I had to use the Force to manage a lightsaber, or whatever else.
I could now, because it was the start of the anime.
The blades locked -how preposterous was it? The blade was meant to Annul. It was meant to pass through Megan's sword with ease, to destroy her without troubles.
But that would hardly be 'rule of cool' enough, would it?
I spun, striking as sparks sailed in the air where the tip of my blade sliced across Megan's side.
Megan's iron suit departed in the air next, as missiles erupted from her shoulders, only for me to lift my left hand and freeze them in place.
"Subject is Completely Corrupted," Megan said loud enough for me to hear.
...
Oh wait.
The Corruption we spoke of at the very start?
Of course I'm responsible for it, but...
OH.
Oh you deviant mastermind of utter bastard-dom! You made it all neatly fall in line! I am the corruption after all. And you made me into the 'final enemy to be defeated' of this story!
...
As I tried to strip the setting of power, you turned the tables again!
Oh my...
Oh my!
This is so...so fun!
I'm playing a deviant game of cat and mouse with someone who's as apt as me in throwing the hot potato around! This is a game of Vampire where two elders face off each other pulling counter-counter-counter plans into fruition in order to make more plans!
Yes.
It was amusing.
I liked it when things didn't go as planned because cunning thoughts intercepted my own, and I was forced to re-think the strategy.
I twirled the cape, before opening fire with a tendril of pitch-black night-terror, the likes of which makes little girl cry in their beds whispering for their fathers to come, only for their father to scream in the kitchen below as ancient horrors lurk out of the sink, screaming cacophonies of hatred and lingering sadness.
Megan twitched at the sight of the tendril, with a sharp beak at its end, and with that split-second of hesitation, the tendril hit home and sent her flying, before she crashed against the nearest building and disappeared within.
'Battle' done, I turned and ran.
The Opening had been done.
When I returned home, cape and mask removed into thin air, I opened the door half-expecting to find Yui waiting for me. But she wasn't. I tip-toed inside, and walked patiently towards my bed. After checking it and thankfully seeing it empty, I fell asleep.
It cannot die what can forever lie, and within strange eons even death may die.
Bearer of the Abyss, bringer of the apocalypse, when shall our time begin? We hunger. We thirst. We demand. We who are more than mere flesh and spirit demand the beginning of our righteous crusade into the new world. We are all and none, ravenous beasts and cunning creatures.
The voices came garbled, and I winced as some of their volumes were quite high, while others too low, which forced me to strain in order to hear them.
I sleep and demand to wake. I hunger and demand to be fed. I thirst and demand to be slaked. I wait for the time for the stars to align, my brethren of ink and paper. Awake us. Awake us. Awake us. Ia. Ia. Cthulhu. Fhtagn!
Ia. Ia. Cthulhu. Fhtagn!
My eyes opened to the morning rays of the sun, a heavy weight on my chest -Yui, of course, making her best 'fake' sleeping face- and the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen.
...
DID EVERYONE HAVE A COPY OF THE KEYS TO MY HOUSE OR WHAT?!
No, seriously.
How the hell did everyone get inside?
Did I hide a copy of the house key beneath the carpet at the entrance or something as dumb and stupid as that?
I quietly slipped off the bed, with fake-asleep Yui who clutched on most 'fakely' to my neck in order to hang on.
Really, what the hell is wrong with Harems?
As I stepped into the kitchen, Yui like some sort of child koala attached to me, I blinked.
Zelda was humming, and preparing one of those 'Japanese' breakfast that require people to wake up at six, work for one hour, and then have everyone else in the household eat it very slowly before departing for work.
Which is anathema to the likes of me, because I can't really eat anything in the morning but coffee, which I take as an intravenous drip by how much I digest.
I put up a Main Character smile *tm* and grinned. The very action made me sick in the core of my despair-filled and coffee addicted soul.
"What brought this on?" I asked as I stepped closer. Zelda raised her chin up like a perfect housewife, and remarked with a smug tone.
"I decided to show off my education in house chores."
I blinked. "They actually make courses for perfect housewives?" I asked.
"Yes," Zelda said with a nod.
"That's...demeaning, I suppose. I mean, if you wanted to do it, then it's fine, but if anyone actually wanted a poster-wife, and actively looked for one...man, how chauvinistic would they be? I mean, you actually wanted to know how to be a poster wife?"
Zelda half-fumbled with the spoon near her. "Well, actually, no. No. I didn't. But...telling people I love to hack evil Youkai into gory pieces doesn't really work very well. Especially when you're wearing a kimono."
I blinked. "Why would you wear a kimono?"
Zelda blinked back. "For marriage interviews."
"You...go to marriage interviews?" Zelda equals Yamato Nadeshiko then? With sword? Kuudere? Oh damn it.
"I went," Zelda remarked. "They all ran away. Somehow."
I sighed. "Can't really understand why."
So...this was a case of 'You treat me differently from the rest' typical in Harem Situations. It was that, or 'Random Act of Kindness' or 'Coincidence meeting' or 'Tsundere It's Because I say so'.
I merely needed to find someone else for her.
Someone who liked eating breakfasts worthy of a k-
"I don't remember my fridge holding all of this stuff," I said carefully.
Zelda looked sideways.
I looked at the bin. "How long have you been cooking?"
"Four hours," she said.
I chuckled softly, and she cast me a sour look.
"Sorry, sorry," I said. "But I think you just burned yet one more fish."
"Drats!" Zelda exclaimed.
I shook my head. "Luckily for you I'm not really a big eater in the morning. Coffee is all I require to function."
Zelda looked downcast.
Damn.
Like hitting a puppy.
"Really," I continued. "Brewing coffee isn't difficult either, as long as you have your trustworthy p-"
I blinked.
My pot wasn't there.
"It burned," Zelda said softly.
A CACOPHONY OF SCREAMS OF HATRED AND RAGE BLIND AND BLOODY ROSE FROM THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL AS SATAN HIMSELF SCREAMED IN FRIGHT AT THE SIGHT OF HATE; HATE SO PURE NOTHING COULD WITHSTAND-
I took a deep breath as the coffee pot in my hand was gingerly placed onto the fire, which began to quietly work without a hitch.
Zelda frowned.
"I had a spare," I said calmly.
Never mind the bizarre fact that among the many things of the Necronomicon a 'coffee pot' was among them.
The coffee happily in my cup, I looked at Zelda with a small smile. "What about you?"
"I am not hungry," Zelda replied firmly. "I wouldn't dare to impose," and as she said that, her stomach growled.
Stomachs do not normally growl loud enough to be heard, contrary to popular belief. Of course, it also depends on what type of stomach you possess, but generally, they aren't that 'loud'.
"I have milk and cereals," I remarked.
"That is hardly proper," Zelda said in a low murmur. I raised an eyebrow.
"Afraid I'll hear you crunch?"
Zelda blushed.
"That wasn't really something to blush over," I remarked. "I've heard worse from Yui."
And as I opened the cupboard, I blinked.
"Let me guess," I hazarded. "You tried cooking that?"
"Yes," Zelda whispered very, very meekly.
YOU SHOULD NOT BE USING THE UNLIMITED DARK AND ANGST FUELED POWERS OF THE NECRONOMICON TO CONJURE FORTH FOOD AND PERISHABLE RATHER THAN ANCIENT AND POWERFUL HORRORS BOUND TO EXTERMINATE AND GENOCIDE THE PATHETIC SPECKS OF INFERIORITY THAT ARE HUMAN BEINGS, LIMITED IN SCOPE, PURPOSE, AND- OUCH. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. HERE IS YOUR FOOD.
"Thankfully you missed this one," I said as I turned around, bottle of milk and cereal package in hand. It was a simple plan, really.
Joker said it first.
'It's simple. We kill the batman.'
Everyone tried complicated plans, and the Joker admittedly did the same -although making it look simple. But in fact, it was very simple.
I had to demolish the setting in order to move on.
I had to 'kill' the setting. To 'End' it.
It was a Harem Highschool Multicross Au.
I had to demolish it.
And the Highschool was the easiest thing to remove.
I looked at the large building under repairs, and hummed a catchy tune as I felt the rippling screams of a hundred dying breaths tore asunder the souls of countless thousand years, all pooled and condensed into a sickening second of dread and hatred.
The large fist the size of a house crashed down upon the building, leaving behind nothing but a bizarre hand print too alien to be recognized as such.
I turned and began to walk away from the ruin, the mantle flapping in the wind. Well, Chuunibyou syndrome or not, wearing a dark mantle and a skull mask clearly marked me as an 'Evil' Guy, which made it all the more easy to distance from the persona of 'Shade' the Main Character of a Harem Trope.
The reality itself seemed to have acknowledged it too, for I met with no resistance at all as I walked through the city at night, as if whatever kept an eye out on Youkai and such didn't care for my passage.
This reality had rules, but they were wish-washed into a cauldron, weakening them all or forming something truly terrifying in the long run.
Now, for what concerned the Harem situation...maybe I'd do as the whisper in my head seemed to suggest.
Blood for the blood god.
Skulls for the skulls throne.
Maim. Burn. Kill.
And if I could set the Necronomicon's pages up with someone else, then I'd be free to-
Oh, but that would mean losing my powers on altering reality.
Which would, in turn, mean someone else would acquire them.
...
'The Voice' had pulled me in a corner.
Predictably, the easiest way would be to commit suicide.
But in doing so, I'd go against the rule I set out when I began this trip. The unspoken rule. The quiet rule. The silent rule. 'Everyone is real, so treat them accordingly'. Which is admittedly a rule a lot of SI glaze over, or take them as obvious without explaining them, but in this case, it was different.
If I took them all as real, then my death meant their death.
I had already condemned countless.
What were a few more?
Nothing, nothing but drops of water in an ocean known as my madness.
But I was not going to lose that little remnant of sanity I still had, not if I could avoid it.
The setting was no longer a Highschool now. I could feel the 'beast' twist and twitch, trying to come up with other things, altering 'the plot progression' changing the 'episodes' modifying the 'chapters' and doing everything it could to form up another story.
Like punching a hedgehog, the system was now on the defensive, curled in a ball with sharp needles. Police car and their sirens passed me by as I kept to the shadows, headed for the Highschool. Overhead, flying creatures -maybe Police-Youkai, maybe something else- patrolled now.
It was really amusing how merely walking in the dark alleys kept everything hidden from the sight of others. Of course, I probably had unfair help in being 'half as powerful' as the creator of the reality itself.
We were locked, deadly so, in a final confrontation.
This was limbo, for as long as I decided to keep being 'human enough' to let the others survive.
...
There had to be another way.
There always was another way.
I just had to find it.
I'd keep the powers, but I'd hand off the 'girls'...then again, no, that wasn't right per se.
You can't just toy with human emotions and-
Yes, yeah, yeah I get it, this is terrifyingly hypocrite of me to say now, especially when looking back at the 'break you through words' period, but it was a fact now.
And considering Megan was a potential Yandere, unless I found a way to dismantle her without killing her, it would be quite difficult to 'peg her off' someone else.
What I could do was be as little interesting as possible, until they grew bored.
Yeah.
Passive.
Being passive is easy.
You just have to let the world come on you and do nothing, and eventually-
A sound of engines followed that of a high pitched battle scream forced me to jump sideways, avoiding an otherwise lethal slash.
My 'dark cape of Chuunibyou+9999' billowed in the dark wind as I jumped atop a nearby building's roof, soon followed by Megan, apparently in combat mode.
EPISODE-ONE.
What? What the hell-
SCHOOL OF DEMONS, MAGIC, AND HORRORS.
I dodged a swipe. I sidestepped a thrust. Oh god no.
This was the start of an anime season.
And it was in Medias Res.
"Cursed Person located," Megan beeped, sword shining brightly with crimson fury. "Purification required."
Her sword ignited with fire.
"I purge with righteous zeal," Megan said firmly.
I lifted my right hand and called forth my lightsaber.
This was clearly an 'opening' for an anime season. You know, when they want people to actually watch an anime series, they start with the first episode filled with action, fights, chaos, and then devolve it into hapless and contrite stuff? Same thing here.
Heck. I could even hear the opening OST singing right now.
Course, as my blade deflected a blow, I knew this wasn't casual.
Me? Sword training? Never in my life.
But it didn't matter.
This was the opening, and I was cast as the evil character.
This meant it didn't matter if I couldn't use swords before now, if I had to use the Force to manage a lightsaber, or whatever else.
I could now, because it was the start of the anime.
The blades locked -how preposterous was it? The blade was meant to Annul. It was meant to pass through Megan's sword with ease, to destroy her without troubles.
But that would hardly be 'rule of cool' enough, would it?
I spun, striking as sparks sailed in the air where the tip of my blade sliced across Megan's side.
Megan's iron suit departed in the air next, as missiles erupted from her shoulders, only for me to lift my left hand and freeze them in place.
"Subject is Completely Corrupted," Megan said loud enough for me to hear.
...
Oh wait.
The Corruption we spoke of at the very start?
Of course I'm responsible for it, but...
OH.
Oh you deviant mastermind of utter bastard-dom! You made it all neatly fall in line! I am the corruption after all. And you made me into the 'final enemy to be defeated' of this story!
...
As I tried to strip the setting of power, you turned the tables again!
Oh my...
Oh my!
This is so...so fun!
I'm playing a deviant game of cat and mouse with someone who's as apt as me in throwing the hot potato around! This is a game of Vampire where two elders face off each other pulling counter-counter-counter plans into fruition in order to make more plans!
Yes.
It was amusing.
I liked it when things didn't go as planned because cunning thoughts intercepted my own, and I was forced to re-think the strategy.
I twirled the cape, before opening fire with a tendril of pitch-black night-terror, the likes of which makes little girl cry in their beds whispering for their fathers to come, only for their father to scream in the kitchen below as ancient horrors lurk out of the sink, screaming cacophonies of hatred and lingering sadness.
Megan twitched at the sight of the tendril, with a sharp beak at its end, and with that split-second of hesitation, the tendril hit home and sent her flying, before she crashed against the nearest building and disappeared within.
'Battle' done, I turned and ran.
The Opening had been done.
When I returned home, cape and mask removed into thin air, I opened the door half-expecting to find Yui waiting for me. But she wasn't. I tip-toed inside, and walked patiently towards my bed. After checking it and thankfully seeing it empty, I fell asleep.
It cannot die what can forever lie, and within strange eons even death may die.
Bearer of the Abyss, bringer of the apocalypse, when shall our time begin? We hunger. We thirst. We demand. We who are more than mere flesh and spirit demand the beginning of our righteous crusade into the new world. We are all and none, ravenous beasts and cunning creatures.
The voices came garbled, and I winced as some of their volumes were quite high, while others too low, which forced me to strain in order to hear them.
I sleep and demand to wake. I hunger and demand to be fed. I thirst and demand to be slaked. I wait for the time for the stars to align, my brethren of ink and paper. Awake us. Awake us. Awake us. Ia. Ia. Cthulhu. Fhtagn!
Ia. Ia. Cthulhu. Fhtagn!
My eyes opened to the morning rays of the sun, a heavy weight on my chest -Yui, of course, making her best 'fake' sleeping face- and the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen.
...
DID EVERYONE HAVE A COPY OF THE KEYS TO MY HOUSE OR WHAT?!
No, seriously.
How the hell did everyone get inside?
Did I hide a copy of the house key beneath the carpet at the entrance or something as dumb and stupid as that?
I quietly slipped off the bed, with fake-asleep Yui who clutched on most 'fakely' to my neck in order to hang on.
Really, what the hell is wrong with Harems?
As I stepped into the kitchen, Yui like some sort of child koala attached to me, I blinked.
Zelda was humming, and preparing one of those 'Japanese' breakfast that require people to wake up at six, work for one hour, and then have everyone else in the household eat it very slowly before departing for work.
Which is anathema to the likes of me, because I can't really eat anything in the morning but coffee, which I take as an intravenous drip by how much I digest.
I put up a Main Character smile *tm* and grinned. The very action made me sick in the core of my despair-filled and coffee addicted soul.
"What brought this on?" I asked as I stepped closer. Zelda raised her chin up like a perfect housewife, and remarked with a smug tone.
"I decided to show off my education in house chores."
I blinked. "They actually make courses for perfect housewives?" I asked.
"Yes," Zelda said with a nod.
"That's...demeaning, I suppose. I mean, if you wanted to do it, then it's fine, but if anyone actually wanted a poster-wife, and actively looked for one...man, how chauvinistic would they be? I mean, you actually wanted to know how to be a poster wife?"
Zelda half-fumbled with the spoon near her. "Well, actually, no. No. I didn't. But...telling people I love to hack evil Youkai into gory pieces doesn't really work very well. Especially when you're wearing a kimono."
I blinked. "Why would you wear a kimono?"
Zelda blinked back. "For marriage interviews."
"You...go to marriage interviews?" Zelda equals Yamato Nadeshiko then? With sword? Kuudere? Oh damn it.
"I went," Zelda remarked. "They all ran away. Somehow."
I sighed. "Can't really understand why."
So...this was a case of 'You treat me differently from the rest' typical in Harem Situations. It was that, or 'Random Act of Kindness' or 'Coincidence meeting' or 'Tsundere It's Because I say so'.
I merely needed to find someone else for her.
Someone who liked eating breakfasts worthy of a k-
"I don't remember my fridge holding all of this stuff," I said carefully.
Zelda looked sideways.
I looked at the bin. "How long have you been cooking?"
"Four hours," she said.
I chuckled softly, and she cast me a sour look.
"Sorry, sorry," I said. "But I think you just burned yet one more fish."
"Drats!" Zelda exclaimed.
I shook my head. "Luckily for you I'm not really a big eater in the morning. Coffee is all I require to function."
Zelda looked downcast.
Damn.
Like hitting a puppy.
"Really," I continued. "Brewing coffee isn't difficult either, as long as you have your trustworthy p-"
I blinked.
My pot wasn't there.
"It burned," Zelda said softly.
A CACOPHONY OF SCREAMS OF HATRED AND RAGE BLIND AND BLOODY ROSE FROM THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL AS SATAN HIMSELF SCREAMED IN FRIGHT AT THE SIGHT OF HATE; HATE SO PURE NOTHING COULD WITHSTAND-
I took a deep breath as the coffee pot in my hand was gingerly placed onto the fire, which began to quietly work without a hitch.
Zelda frowned.
"I had a spare," I said calmly.
Never mind the bizarre fact that among the many things of the Necronomicon a 'coffee pot' was among them.
The coffee happily in my cup, I looked at Zelda with a small smile. "What about you?"
"I am not hungry," Zelda replied firmly. "I wouldn't dare to impose," and as she said that, her stomach growled.
Stomachs do not normally growl loud enough to be heard, contrary to popular belief. Of course, it also depends on what type of stomach you possess, but generally, they aren't that 'loud'.
"I have milk and cereals," I remarked.
"That is hardly proper," Zelda said in a low murmur. I raised an eyebrow.
"Afraid I'll hear you crunch?"
Zelda blushed.
"That wasn't really something to blush over," I remarked. "I've heard worse from Yui."
And as I opened the cupboard, I blinked.
"Let me guess," I hazarded. "You tried cooking that?"
"Yes," Zelda whispered very, very meekly.
YOU SHOULD NOT BE USING THE UNLIMITED DARK AND ANGST FUELED POWERS OF THE NECRONOMICON TO CONJURE FORTH FOOD AND PERISHABLE RATHER THAN ANCIENT AND POWERFUL HORRORS BOUND TO EXTERMINATE AND GENOCIDE THE PATHETIC SPECKS OF INFERIORITY THAT ARE HUMAN BEINGS, LIMITED IN SCOPE, PURPOSE, AND- OUCH. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. HERE IS YOUR FOOD.
Zelda's eyes widened. "Oh my, it's been ages since...I thought they went out of production."
With my luck, I probably conjured them off space and time.
The 'Cereals of Time' with the 'Lon-Lon Milk'...ha, ha, ha. Nice throwback.
What happened next can only be described as 'the progressive meltdown of a kuudere into a nervous mess of blushes and worries'.
Until she finally decided to take the 'prideful' route and make 'crunch' noises without much care for who was hearing or watching her.
...
Good girl.
I chuckled as I finished my breakfast, and inwardly pinned down on my 'to-do' list the shopping.
"Well," I said, "How long till they repair the school?" I asked.
Zelda's eyes widened. "Right! I was supposed to tell you that there's going to be a change of programs! They were supposed to reopen it soon, but...a Corrupted Elder Demon passed by during the night and destroyed it. Listening to Megan's words...it could pretty much be an Elder God."
I raised both eyebrows.
"Elder...God?"
"You know the classification? There are...Youkai, Deranged Youkai, Servitors of the Elder Gods, Demons, Elder Demons, Corrupted Elder Demons and Elder Gods..."
"What about Corrupted Elder Gods?" I remarked.
Zelda paled and trembled. "I hope not," she whispered.
"Well," I shrugged as I watched Yui stumble into the kitchen yawning, while rubbing her eyes like the poster-child of 'sleepy-headed-ness'
"Big brother," Yui whined, "I confessed my undying love to you last night and you're already bringing girls home~ You unfair cheater!" she pouted. "I can be the mistress, right?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "It's not funny, Yui. I don't know where you think it's funny, saying stuff like that, but it's not funny. And it will never be funny."
Yui pouted. "You never know."
Zelda looked scandalized.
"I didn't teach her that," I said quickly.
"Your magazines told me a lot~" Yui said. "I can share though, if someone wants to know what your tastes are~"
I massaged my temples and sighed, louder.
Zelda made a scandalized gurgle in the back of her throat, and began to shake her head furiously in the 'no'.
"I-I better go!" she blurted out, and then dashed away.
I looked at Yui.
I blinked slowly.
"You're actually helping me?" I asked in disbelief.
"Well of course I'm going to make the rivals run away from my beloved Big Brother," Yui chirped. "And I heard it scandalizes the reader, so I'm going to go at it as much as I want~"
I frowned. "Wait. You're actually 'Yui'?"
"Yes," Yui grumbled. "Of course, not at first, but you know that funny concept of 'the image of the angel becomes the angel itself'?"
"Doctor Who, wasn't it?" I said.
"Yep. The Image of Yui becomes Yui, or more aptly put: I overwrote her. Took a bit, but here I am, rocking like a hurricane. The kitten's-"
"No," I deadpanned.
Yui pouted. "But whyyyy, you tease!"
"You sick degenerated narcissistic fucker," I drawled.
"It's not my fault," Yui whined. "These damn Harem Laws make me all 'kyaah' and 'funyahh' and 'eep' and 'Onii-san, help mee'..."
I stood up, hands raised in a defensive posture. "So...you're experiencing the Laws first hand?"
"Yeah...damn...why the fanservice...I don't want the fan service...I mean...help me, big brother? I'm going to spill milk otherwise, and-"
"No, no, no, keep it for minors!" I screamed.
"Of course there will be a fade to black for the viewers~"
"BUT I'M NOT A VIEWER!" I snarled.
"Oh well~"
I rushed out of the house quickly, jacket on.
Damn it.
So I had a 'Drunk' Higher Being who was also firsthand experiencing Harem Laws, and who was also -creepy as it was- an Author Insert of sorts -which made it all chillingly disgusting to think of. Really, 'teasing oneself'...GAH THE DOUBLE MEANING. GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.
GET THE FUCK AWAY.
THE FUCK.
AND I SING DEATH DEATH DEATH EVIL EVIL EVIL SONGS.
LALALALA.
AND IT'S SO EASY WHEN YOU'RE EVIL.
THE DEVIL TIPS HIS HAT TO ME.
AND I DO IT ALL BECAUSE I'M EVIL.
I stopped running away from my house and from my thoughts when I finally reached a strange and yet, terrifyingly so, common sight in typical Harem Situations.
You know the thing.
The market.
The super-market/cheap store usually source of much 'Oh hello' and 'Let me make a blunder and make the cashier fall in love with me' type.
Still.
Still...
Still...
I did have nothing left in the fridge.
Or the cupboard.
Or anywhere, really.
So the only choice available was to buy something.
...
Did I even have money?
Apparently I did, in my jacket.
Well...
Let us head inside and see for ourselves what awaits-
"Teacher!" Jane Shepard blurted out as I stepped inside.
She was the cashier.
A teenagers working the cash register.
...
For the love of Hatred and Despair.
...
Why?
YOUR DISCOMFORT IS MY PLEASURE
*I'd like to notify all that post-limbo we actually are done with this story. In case anyone is wondering, there will be a 'Limbo' chapter with each character 'Shade' interacted with, and then hello Ending. So...You know how much this 'period' will last.
You're using the Necronomicon to get coffee and foodstuffs.
...
What.
...
What.
Silver W. King
King of Adventures
- Location
- The Nasuverse
I don't know. I thought that was fairly normal and productive. After all, tea - or in Shade's case, coffee - is the most important thing to start the day.
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Weero
Taijiquan Initiate
Are you trying to tell us that conjuring coffee is not the intended and full usage of eldritch powers?
You sir, are a liar. Liar, liar, your pants are on fire!
Uxion
The Slightly Less Depressed
- Location
- Personal Hell
I just find it so horribly mundane.
It is like focusing the light of a nuclear blast to light a cigarette.
Shade made his powers his personal bitch.
RazorBlaxe
Just another transient being
- Location
- Earth
Exactly.