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Bond Breaker (SI - Multiverse Cross)

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Ian Drash said:
Amazingly cliché power in Supernatural High School. Mí first thought was that Shade has the power to be an ordinary, decent human being. But that would be too SoD breaking.

The question is, who is the headmaster of the school. I just can't decide which would be funnier, GEOM or Darth Vader.
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Both? Or maybe they constantly fight on who will have the president seat while the loser is on the vice president seat.
 
A highschool AU? Might be interesting. I honestly haven't read that many of them. Are they very common?

Also, in celebration of Shade meeting Elsa I found a pic that shows both.


EDIT: It's a little big so so I put it in a spoiler.
 
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So let me ask my question again.

Apparently the shipping was chosen by flipping a coin, if Elsa is one side, then who is the other?
 
shadenight123 said:
Epilogue Chapter One Hundred and Two

The sensation of falling instinctively scared anyone not trained into it. And I was scared. To Fall. The concept of falling is 'moving at incredible speed towards a hard surface that is going to hurt you'. But falling into pitch-black darkness, with no wind, no ground to see, nothing but the drumming sound of your own heartbeat and the lungfuls of air...even worse.
There was no indication I was reaching the bottom. There was nothing to tell me I was done, or finished. So I fell.
I fell until it began to bore me, the 'falling', rather than scaring me.
I fell until I lost count of the time, and then, as I was just about to lose my wits, the falling ended abruptly.
And I woke up.

My eyes blearily took the sights of the ceiling of my room.
I frowned.
I blinked.
I widened my eyes.
I was home.
I was home.
I was no longer around, doing...stuff. I was home!
I. Was. Home!

I rushed out, half hoping against all odds for further proof that this was reality, and not a mere fickle or illusion.
And as I opened the door of the kitchen, I was not greeted by the usual faces of my family members.
Nope.
Oh no you don't.
You pathetic bastard.
You wrench.
You disgusting piece of shit.
You fucking sadistic horrible monster.
"Hey big brother~," Yui chirped, wearing what looked like a High School uniform the likes of which you can easily see in those High School anime and manga, but which are NON-Existent in Italy, because in Italy the schools are mainly public, and even the private schools do not usually uphold a dress code.
"Yui," I mumbled.
"You're going to be late for work if you keep dilly dallying," Yui grinned.
My throat dried up terrifyingly.
I am the Master of Foreshadowing.
"What work?" working as an 'on call' IT means the hours I do are mainly dependent on when a client calls me, not on any 'fixed' hours. Which means...
"Duh! Your job as a teacher, of course!"

Yeah. The one job I'd never do even under the threat of death or body harm.
I am not meant to teach people.
Sure, I can probably do a rousing speech, but teaching something? No, really...I understand I had practice in the Evangelion Verse, but again, that was easy, this...
"You probably left your phone off too," Yui sighed. "Really, your-"
"Oh don't say it," I whined. "Don't you say it."
"What? Come on!" Yui bristled. "I teased you for it only for a couple of months, really! Enough acting like a guy at his first crush!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm going to brutally murder someone."
"Oh? Which of your student are you throttling?" Yui asked back.
"I don't know. I'll find someone," I mumbled.
I could pretty much hear the screams of anguish of the readers half-expecting to know which pairing was apparently in the 'winning' league.
Or so they thought, because I despised the very concept of pairing.
And I refused to let whoever had created this sick world to live.
The doorbell rang, and as I moved to open the door of the house, coffee cup in hand, I took deep gulps and then watched with a flat gaze as Asuka and Rei trailed in.
"Hello professor," Rei said with her Alternate-Rei -the one from the manga, I think- voice. Slightly more emotional, but not all of that emotional. "Is Yui ready?"
"His eyes are demanding the blood of innocents," Asuka dryly remarked, gazing up at me with a smug grin. "Slept in?"

I grumbled an affirmative reply, and took another swill of coffee, the nectar of the gods.
I returned to my room, and opened the drawer for my neat collection of Hawaiian Shirts.
The black with silver linings one was always good, and as I put it on, followed by the long dark trousers, I was ready to rumble as my hand gripped my trusty briefcase.
The three girls filtered out in a line like ducklings, behind me.
I raised an eyebrow as my hands moved to my keys...yeah, one more, one that I did not recognize.
All right.
I'm apparently also a taxi service in the early hours of the morning.
Explains the girls coming over, I guess.
I thankfully merely had to push the long-distance button to open the car from afar, and then walk towards it. Once I took the stirring wheel, I realized I was in a non-descriptive town, the likes of which you can and cannot place at the same time.
"Yui," I said softly. "I have-"
"A lapsus, yeah, I got that," Yui sighed, rolling her eyes. "Are you sure you don't have Alzheimers? Not remembering the road to school once every week is a bit too much for being a mere memory lapse."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Go straight, then take a turn right," Rei said. "We must pass and take Shinji on the way too," she added.
I nodded, and went.
As Rei guided me -and not Yui- I began to worry. The streets were deserted.
There wasn't a sound.
And not a breath of air whistled across the world itself.

Shinji waited near the street, and as he climbed aboard next to Rei, he cheerfully said 'Hello'.
"Come on, Shinji, faster!" Asuka barked. "We'll be late if this keeps up!"
I sighed and pushed the gas.
There was no one around anyway.
The school was one of those Anime-like Middle to High Schools the Japanese seem fond of portraying -or maybe they're really like that, the hell do I know.
As I halted the car in the courtyard, at the parking reserved for faculty, I dismounted.
Fortunately, I wasn't apparently alone.
I blinked as I finally realized why something felt odd.

This was a High School Au setting.
And as soon as I thought it, the sky turned blue, the clouds began to fly up in the sky pushed by the wind, and random people started to enter and leave.
I blinked again.
And then once more.
The loud sound of a bike echoed in the air, before the scream of "CRAP I'M GOING TO BE LATEEEE!" made me fear for my own life.
Anna arrived on a motorbike, one of those big, nasty things that punks and thugs usually have, with Naruto in tow, holding on for dear life.
"GAH! Big sister!" Naruto exclaimed, although I had the inkling 'Big Sister' referred to Gang-Leader, more than the actual 'Big Sister'. "That was so cool!"
"Yes, yes brat! Now move or we're going to be-"
And Anna stopped as she looked at me.
"Hello professor Shade," she whispered very, very softly. "I'm not in trouble yet, right?"
She made Disney-Like doe eyes and the trembling lips.
I sighed.
Why did this happen?
Why?
"Just go and I'll act as if I saw nothing," I replied while shaking my head slowly.
So...Biker-Anna did just that, after blurting out a quick 'thanks' and rushing inside.
Naruto gave me a thumbs-up, before doing the same.

The rest of the girls disembarked and went their ways, while I closed the car before starting to leisurely walk towards the building.
"You're going to be late if you keep walking that slowly," Sidonus said as I stepped inside the entrance hall of a typical Japanese High School.
He wasn't wearing his armor.
He was the Physical Education teacher.
Somehow, I wasn't surprised.
Somehow, this made me scream that Space Marines would rather die than be without their armors.
Somehow, the blood curling scream inside my head gained a few pitches.
"I'll keep that in mind," I replied with a smile as I moved past.
Now...where was the teachers' room in this place? Clearly, I needed to have a computer stashed somewhere in this place to tell me where the hell I was meant to go, and-
"Can you believe it?!" a female voice shrieked loudly, making me half-jump.
"No, totally not cool!"
I hurried past, praying to whatever Demon existed to aid me. Jane Shepard, N7 Commander, was a red-haired high school student talking -or better yet 'bitching'- with Nabooru.
I wanted to go home.
Right now.
I wanted to go home.

Please, please, let me go home.
I'll be a good boy.
Tobi will be good.
"Keep your voice down," I said offhandedly as I passed them by.
"Sorry sir," Jane said stiffly, half-standing to attention before catching herself and turning her face into a scowl. "You're not the boss of me!"
"Check your tongue or I'll wash it with soap myself! Respect the teacher!" a...teenager Ganondorf said, suddenly appearing from a corner with Link in tow. Ganondorf had glasses. And he had books. Books. Ganondorf was a Nerd. For the love of...why?! WHY?!
"Yeah? And why should I?" Jane rebuked him.
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Class is about to start," I said. "In your classrooms, now."
"Fine!" Jane grumbled, and quickly turned and began to walk away in a hurry, Nabooru following -but not before sticking her tongue out towards Ganondorf.
"Sir," Ganondorf said. "I'm sorry about my cousin."
"Don't worry," I replied. "I'm-"
Link blinked. "Can't find the teachers' lounge again, teach?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Yes. It's to my shame that I seem to have forgotten where it is."
"It's official then," Link said with a knowing nod.
Ganondorf sighed.
"Teacher, sir, really, I understand that 'love blinds' but in your case, it gives you Alzheimer. I'll show you the way."

I frowned. Oh no.
Oh no please no.
"Does everyone know I have a girlfriend?" I asked offhandedly, to which Link snorted amused.
"Who doesn't? You screamed 'Yeeeeeeesss' for two hours straight. Then managed to lift the headmaster up and down twice. I think that the only ones who don't know are the rocks."
I chuckled nervously.
Oh well.
"That's embarrassing," I grumbled.
"You also threatened with psychological soul rending despair anyone who said a word about it," Link supplied helpfully. "Everyone fell in line after that."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Really? Why haven't I been fired yet?"
"The headmaster likes your style," Link shrugged. "And it's not like you ever did it, teach."
They left me in front of the door, and headed to class.
I opened it, and received a series of 'sighs' of reply.
"You owe me a dinner," Titus said to Obi-Wan.
"Drats," Obi-Wan replied. And I mean 'Young' Obi-Wan, not the 'Old' one. "I thought for sure he'd be here two hours late."
"Ha-Ha," I chuckled, and looked around.

My post in the teachers' office was easy to find.
It was the one with a white jacket and a post-it note on it.
'You forgot this at my place' was scribbled on the note, which made me wince once more.
Really?
Come on, you're joking with me.
I turned on my computer.
Yep. Nice, saved pdf file with the 'Time Table'.
And on this nice day of Friday, I had lesson in class 2-A throughout the whole day.
Good to know I was assigned to a single class and I taught them...English...and Computer Science...and...
No.
NO.
Nope.
I refuse.
Not a chance in hell.
Nope-Lol-Nope. Nada.
Nein.
SUPREME REFUSAL OF THE HEAVENS.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
"Why," I began flatly, "Do I have to do a hour of 'psychological counseling'?"
"Why not?" Obi-Wan said. "You like doing that."
"I'm qualified for it?" I retorted.
"You're not really acting like yourself," Titus said offhandedly. "You all right?"
"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled. "Still a bit out of it."
"You should be happy!" Titus slammed a hand against my shoulders. "You're living the dream! A stable job, a girlfriend, marvelous and charismatic friends," Titus grinned while Obi-Wan half-gagged in mockery.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, 'living the dream' sounds pretty much like it."
I stood up from my seat. "Have to run or I'll be late for class."
With a quick tapping, I closed the computer and hurried off, jacket 'forgotten' back where it was.
I was not going to put up the 'Data Collection' jacket I had lost in the Collectors' Base all the way back.

The classroom quieted down as I stepped inside.
I hummed as I grabbed the chalk and began to scribble down on the blackboard.
"Well," I said offhandedly. "We are doing twenty-questions today."
I grinned as I turned. "In English, of course."
Why the mix-mash of people thought they were all Japanese students was beyond me, but to me it all sounded the same anyway.
"WHAT?!" Naruto screamed. "No fair!"
"Shut up!" Sakura slammed her fist against his head, making him wince.
"No body harm in the classroom!" roared Ganondorf -and apparently also the class representative. Somehow, that was more in line than being the 'Nerd' trope.
"This wasn't in the program for today!" Yui pouted. "You were meant to give us a half-shocked rendition of last night and then run out half-dumb!"
I ground my teeth. "Question number one," I turned to the blackboard and began to write on it. "Who are you?"
I turned. "Answer in turns, use your words, and add one word that describes you."
Sheepish silence.
"Someone wants to start?" I began.
Asuka raised her hand primly.
"My name is Asuka," she said in a shrill and badly accented voice. "I am a student."
"Next?"
It was the turn of someone I hadn't seen before, in the back rows, to speak.
"I am Harry," Harry Potter said, "And I like... reading."
"Very well," I nodded, "Next?"
"I'm Leandros," the youngest space marine said, and apparently in my class, "Sports Rock-On!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Next."
And like that, I realized with dread that everyone I had met in my voyages, in my trips, were there.
Well, not 'everyone'.
Those old enough to be faculty probably were faculty members, but the youngest ones?
They were right here.
In my class.
I had Luna Lovegood sharing a seat with Sachi from Sword Art Online.
I had Kirito talking about games with...
Wait.
WAIT A MOMENT.
Shirou?
I blearily looked around.
No counter-force.
Uh...
Wait.
No lightsaber.
I was weaponless.
And I had realized it now.
Oh, together with hearing Tetra's words "I'm Tetra, and I like the sea," echoed as the last one to present herself.

"Very well," I said. "Now, question number two 'What is your favorite movie? Give a reason for it'."
As they spoke in turn, I turned my mind to other thoughts.
This 'world' could pretty much be another one.
But if that was the case, which dimension had a 'High School Setting' as a...
Oh no.
...
Please no.
PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE ANGEL BEATS.
I CAN TAKE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, BUT NOT THE FEELS.
PLEASE, NOT THE FEELS.
PLEASE.
That thought went out of the window when I thankfully realized there was no incoming attack of sorts.
Good. This was probably 'random High School Setting AU'.
...which still had terrifying implications, because if there was a 'High School Reality AU', then there had to be others...horrifying 'Independent! Gary! Mary! GREY! POWERFUL!' and so forth realities.

"I like War on the Eastern Front," Leandros said primly. "It is a nice movie about war."
"There's nothing nice about war!" Naruto burst out.
"Everyone has their opinions," I replied calmly, "And say that in English, Naruto."
Naruto groaned. "I. Not. Like. War!"
"Your favorite movie is Gandhi," Asuka remarked. "You sure you're not a hippie?"
"Oi!" Naruto bristled.
"I-I like it too," Hinata mumbled from a corner of the classroom -the dark, usually overlooked corner of the classroom.
"Duh, but love blinds, doesn't it?" Asuka replied, making Hinata 'eep'.
"Uh?" Naruto blinked, not understanding.
Good god, High School Shenanigans.
"Ahem," I coughed. "Back to the question number three: What is your favorite food? And why?"
"I like porridge," Luke Skywalker said softly. "Because it's easy to make."
I nodded, and inwardly thanked the heavens this seemed to be proceeding smoothly.
The sensation of danger trailing the back of my neck continued slithering its way across my spine, as if I was forgetting something extremely important with each passing second.
Something very important.
But what?
This was a peaceful high school setting, wasn't it?
With students, teachers, and...
The ring of the bell announced the recess, and the lunch break.
As I walked out, or at least began to, I was halted by Yui's advance in my path.
"The rooftop," she said with a wink, "your girlfriend phoned to make sure you remembered it was the rooftop today."

I exhaled. "Sure." And went.
Somehow, I could feel the clenching of hands and gritting of teeth of the readers outside waiting with bated breath for the revelation on who the 'Waifu' was. On who had been chosen through the most democratic mean of all: flip of the coin.
Of course, as I thought about that, and began to climb the stairs, I also had an inkling something could be going terrifyingly wrong. Maybe it wasn't a girl at all, but a 'face-vault' moment, where it was revealed that indeed, the 'Girlfriend' was merely something designed to make the readers chuckle at it.
My thoughts lingered for a tiny bit as I reached for the door, but with a final sigh, I proceeded to open it and step inside.

The sun blazed high in the sky as the wind picked up.
The rooftop was empty.
I walked further into the rooftop, and began to look around, but whoever the 'girlfriend' was, it was unseen.
So I waited.
My stomach rumbled for food, but I waited.
I sat down on the floor, with my back against the chain fence, and waited.
And waited some more.
I could feel the twisting and churning in the back of my head.
...
...

...

...

DECIDE.
Oh, I see.
EPILOGUE. DECIDE.
No. We aren't done yet.
WE ARE.
Star Wars? Fate/Stay?
UNNEEDED.
Oh? Or maybe it's because those two realities could actually hurt you?
UNTHINKABLE
You're pushing awfully for an epilogue, you know?
DECIDE. THE. SHIPPING. END. THIS. STORY.
No. What are you afraid of?
END THIS STORY. CHOOSE THE SHIPPING.
The story's never been about shipping. It's always been about self-discovery, rising meta-levels, and much more. But it's never been about Shipping.
GIVE THEM A SHIP AND AN END, AND ALL WILL APPLAUD YOU.
A writers that writes for the benefit of others loses what he wishes to convey. Write for yourself first, for others last.
END THIS STORY.
No. I will finish this story.
WE ARE EQUALS. UNLESS I ALLOW IT, YOU WILL NOT MOVE ON.
But if I die, I do move on, don't I?
...
Death is an Universal Law you cannot defy, isn't it? If someone dies, someone goes somewhere else. Be it 'heaven' 'hell' 'a parallel reality'...you can't prevent that.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO TAKE YOUR LIFE.
You're right. I don't.
I sighed and looked at the sky.
But accidents happen.
The object I looked at grew larger with each passing second.
NO. NO. NO. I DENY IT.
We're equals now. You cannot deny what I will to be. And vice-versa. You should have paid more attention.
Donnie Darko died in his room when the engine of a plane rushed through. There was a lot of time-travel and physics involved, but the important part was another.
The important part was that he died when the engine of a plane crushed him.

It didn't even hurt.

Damn, if it felt morose.
I opened my eyes.
I was still there.
Damn you.
"I arrived just in time," Elsa exclaimed with a heavy breath of exertion, hands raised as ice encased the once burning engine right above our heads.
I blinked.
"Uh..." I hazarded.
"Right," Elsa continued, "Sorry I'm late, there was traffic, and..."
I looked at the ice.
Then I looked at Elsa.
She fidgeted. "I...never told you I'm a Youkai, did I?"
Japanese High School Setting.
Japanese High School Setting Multicrossover Au...with Youkai.
...
And Disney laws hanging around.

God Damn It Disney.
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AWES-Wait...Wait. This sounds familiar.

Silver W. King said:
You know, a cruel and unusual version of hell would have all those girls in a highschool setting with Shade as the harem protagonist. :p

Yui would use her god-like power to create that world, and of course, there would be shipping wars. ;)

Let's begin. :cool:

ShadeXElsa OTP, bitches. :D
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Huh. What do you know? Right on the money, or at least close enough.


Anyways, FUCK YES! :D
 
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I thankfully realized it was no longer saving me the 'Draft' before closing the tab and heading off to do something else.
Otherwise?
I would have lost 2K of words.
...
Thankfully I noticed.
...
I'm keeping my eye on you, you meta-levels!
 
Maybe this is Dog/Ufo ending Silent Hill!

Look around you shade: if you seek a cute dog with either Headphones or an Astonaut Helmet then you are the new neighbour of Mira, the cutest mastermind!
 
shadenight123 said:
Epilogue Chapter One Hundred and Two
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So, I might be a wee bit slow, but has anyone else noticed the invisitext right there?

Fallenblades643 said:
Emps is the principle calling it now.

Fire and death when?
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Or it could be Darth Vader. That would be fun too.

Uxion said:
Where is that avatar from?
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I found it whilst googling for Elsa avatars, I can't remember where though. Sorry.
 
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    • Chapter One Hundred And Three

    "If you'll let me explain," Elsa began hurriedly, as I touched gingerly a piece of ice that was close by. "And please don't scream. I know this looks bad, but I swear it's not like that. Really. It's just...are you in shock? Please tell me you're not in shock. The last time someone saw me they were so shocked they forgot what I did. Do you need to sit down?" an ice bench appeared near me.
    I looked back at the bench, and then at Elsa, an eyebrow raised.
    Elsa bit her lower lip, trying to probably read my mind, somehow. Which was frankly impossible, because nine times out of ten I couldn't understand my own thoughts -CHAOS. BURN. MAIM. KILL. Oh, look, a sunflower! I WANT A PONY TO MURDER.
    Yeah, bad stuff in my head.
    I merely inclined my head to the side and then walked away from the rooftop and towards the door.

    "Are we still-" Elsa asked, but I was already out of the door.
    Now, I probably could have said something like 'Don't worry, it's fine' or 'I saw worst', but again, there were other things in action right now.
    Namely, it wasn't possible for Elsa to be the Girlfriend.
    Because the jacket had been left in my office this morning by someone, someone who had some form of 'relation' with me without a doubt, but Elsa had showed up late because of traffic. And Elsa was pretty much wearing teacher-approved clothes.
    So something wasn't right with the entire picture.
    I began to fear.
    There was one thing that could make everything worse, of course.
    It was one thing that made my blood boil and my skin crawl.
    It was the product of wishful fantasies of people who wanted fanservice and 'the average guy can hook up with every girl ever by maintaining an average Joe personality'.
    It was the Harem.
    I refused to belong to a High School Harem situation.
    No.
    Rather, I'd turn this entire school into frigging 'School Days' if I had to.
    It would be better than a Harem situation.

    Where was my lightsaber anyway? Had I left it at home?
    I had to find it.
    As I passed by the scared students being evacuated, I took a look at Ganondorf barking order to the kids in my class in my stead, but he did stop once I moved near.
    "Follow procedure for evacuating the building," I said. "Anyone missing for the count?"
    "No sir," Ganondorf said primly.
    I nodded. "Then let's head for the courtyard."
    With a nod, the class began to move.
    And once we were out, my fears became reality.
    This was a high school setting.
    This was a high school setting with 'demons'.
    So, there had to be 'exorcists' of sorts too.
    And who better than Zelda to lead the exorcists?
    Well, apparently, Zelda, Dumbledore and Gendo Ikari.
    Fuck this shit.
    "Now," Dumbledore said gently to the policemen, "We have a clear case of misbehaving Youkai, this doesn't mean the Youkai is evil per se, just suffering. If we can ease his suffering-"
    "Central Dogma has uploaded the possibility of limiting victims by taking a shot with a sniper. The Youkai in question is already within our database-" he pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose.
    "Tell Garrus not to open fire unless it's required," Zelda said...sword in hand.
    Why did she have the mastersword?
    Oi, Link, Zelda's got your sword.
    Get it back or the fans are going to be killing themselves in impotent rage-fits of utter indignity trying to make sense of it.

    And then I found myself staring at Zelda, terribly close within my personal space of Absolute Terror -AT FIELD EXTEND TO THE MAXIMUM.
    I knew this shit.
    I KNEW THIS SHIT.
    I AM THE MASTER OF FORESHADOWING, AND I KNOW YOUR TROPES, YOU FUCKING BASTARD.
    BAAAASTAAAARRRDDDDD.
    SAVOIAAAAAAAAA.
    SSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVOOOOOIAAAAAAAAA.

    "I'm glad you're all right," Zelda said with a sigh of relief, a hand over her chest and a smile on her face. "Was anyone hurt?"
    "Not that I know of," I replied. "Actually, it's not-"
    A large ice golem roared as it leaped from the roof of the school building and landed down on the ground. The armed policemen swallowed thickly, but Elsa merely descended from its back and sighed.
    "Cat's out of the bag," Elsa grumbled, hands raised. "It's not what-"
    Zelda didn't even let Elsa finish her sentence. She just charged ahead, sword blazing in white light.
    "I knew this was all your fault!" Zelda yelled as her speed increased.
    A wall of ice formed from the ground, blocking Zelda's advance for two seconds -the time it took for her to jump atop it, spin in mid-air while defying physics, and slashing down a beam of pure energy through the ice.
    The ice golem lifted its left hand, and blocked the rest of the crescent moon-like beam that departed the master sword's edge, before roaring out a hail of icicles.
    "Don't get your grandma panties in a twister!" Elsa yelled back. "It's not what-"
    "GRANDMA PANTIES?!" Zelda yelled.
    Harem Hijinks.
    Oh please god, have mercy and kill me now.
    A wave of ice moved Elsa away from the edge of the blade as I shook my head and began to walk resolutely towards Dumbledore and Gendo, who both seemed to be keenly watching the proceedings rather than intervening.
    "So," I said offhandedly. "This happens often?"
    "They don't like each other, I fear," Dumbledore said. "We just received news that a satellite fell from orbit and would have hit the school, had Miss Elsa not intervened."
    "Then why are we not stopping them?" Gendo asked, calmly.
    "Because I doubt they would listen," Dumbledore said.
    I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. "Really?"

    Both men looked at me.
    I looked back.
    "If you want to stop them," Dumbledore said. "Be my guest."
    "You are both horrible people," I remarked. "Any-"
    A loud explosion drowned my next words as the sky turned pearly grey, snow starting to fall thickly down.
    "It's localized on the school," Gendo said flatly -he had an earphone, probably listening in to 'Central Dogma'.
    "Still not big of a reason to pacify them?" I remarked.
    "I think the best thing is to use patience," Dumbledore said, "And love. The power of love cannot be underestimated, under no circumstance-"
    "No," I snarled back with enough heat to send ripples of it rushing across the ground.
    I narrowed my eyes as the bitter feeling of being herded into a corner turned my hatred on.
    "Such a sad thing," Dumbledore sighed. "For the more a Youkai is harassed, the more out of control the power grows," the old bearded bastard shook his head. "Love can calm a youkai's heart, and-"
    "And a blade of plasma does the same thing," I said back, bristling. "You're just lucky I don't have one," I growled.
    "Really?" Dumbledore asked, shocked. "You would truly kill-"
    "No, of course not," I retorted. "But I'd rather brave the ice with plasma than 'love'."
    I looked at the blizzard of ice, flashing sword, and screaming women.
    "And I'll need a shield made of something more solid. But that's if you actually intend to let me go in there. I'm sure you've got a sniper ready and set with a tranquilizer strong enough to shoot them both to sleep."
    "Yes," Gendo nodded. "But, as always, the commander thinks that would hurt someone."

    A few windows of the school broke.
    "And this isn't dangerous?"
    "It is controlled," Dumbledore acquiesced.
    I exhaled. "I hate you people with the banner of 'love fixes everything' held up high."
    And then I began to walk forward, fists clenched.
    Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
    Through passion I gain strength.
    Through strength I gain power.
    Through power I gain victory.
    Through victory, my chains are broken.
    The Force will set me free.
    My heart drummed as I felt the cold over my skin, the snow lingering for a few seconds before melting away.
    The 'cyclone' of snow and wind blocked the view, but the loud sound of sword meeting ice wasn't that difficult to find.
    Plasma, be my guide in the darkness.
    Hatred, be my shield where sycophant spout crap of love and mercy.
    Angst, be the path I walk upon.
    Upon the unlimited desires of hatred and under the dome of hell and despair, I call you forth.
    Come, answer the call of darkness.
    FUCK IF I HATE CHUUNIBYOU STUFF TOO.

    A tentacle of undiluted darkness rose from my shadow, a crimson bloodshot eye blinked once in the midst of the snow, and within its gaze it looked at the universe itself, with the bubbling screams of countless horrors ripped from its insight.
    And the air froze.
    The snow stopped in mid-flight.
    Everything grew still, and grey, and dead, and cold, and uneven, and dirty as if a great sin had marched upon the soul of every tiny fragment around me.
    "Lovecraft," I whispered. "Show me the way."
    And Lovecraft did.
    Thank you, Lovecraft. Not even Disney can compare to Lovecraft.
    And within strange eons, the incessant rambling screams of countless madness inducing gods silenced the pathetic speck of dust that was the battle between the two girls.
    As quickly as it had come, the eye-tentacle receded, faster than anyone could see, or maybe too unholy for anyone to actually understand what it was.
    But both Elsa and Zelda were breathing hard -the Ice Golem destroyed- and they both had the usual 'harem' cuts over their clothes.
    Why bruise the flesh when you can cut the panties? I don't know which twisted mind invented Harem Tropes or Fanservice, but they deserve a special place in hell.
    "Ahem," I coughed once, to catch both women's attentions. "This is all a misunderstanding. Lay down your weapons, both of you, and I'll explain."
    They both looked at me as if I had grown a second head.
    "First of all, a satellite was heading for the school's roof. If Elsa hadn't intervened, it would have crushed through," I said dryly, looking at Zelda.
    "Secondly, if you hadn't decided to bait Zelda with a jab on her lingerie choice, she might have kept a cool enough head to listen to what you had to say after the first charge, or the second..."
    "And third," I continued, "I seem to be suffering from a momentary memory loss. Who's my girlfriend, exactly?"
    "I am." They both said at the same time.
    Yeah.

    Harem trope.
    I knew this shit.
    I knew this shit and I didn't like it one bit.
    "Who brought my jacket back?" I asked before they could come to blows one with the other.
    To that, they both blinked. "Uh?"
    Right.
    Nice.
    Good to have known you.
    There was a third one.
    Why.
    Oh why are you doing this to me?
    But this time, I was perplexed. I sincerely doubted there could ever be a third, unless-
    Right, when in Harem Situations, there is always an addition. Every moment. Every breath. Every action. Everything can lead to an addition.
    "Stop fighting this instant, you two evildoers!" oh please, why?
    "I am the Superhero Megan, known as The Shield!" a bubbly voice wrapped inside a metallic suit screamed.
    Oh god, this is an iron-man ripoff isn't it?
    Oh please...my shoulders, they're trembling. I'm...I've got tears in my eyes and I'm laughing. Laugh with me!
    LAUGH. WITH. ME.

    So I did just that. I began to laugh.

    "Uh...are you...all right?" 'Megan' asked as she flew down from the skies. "I arrived as soon as possible when I-"
    "Now just a moment," Zelda bristled. "What's the meaning of this?"
    "I should be the one to ask that," Elsa began. "Clearly, there is something wrong with-"
    "Let me...ahahah," I chuckled. "Just a moment..." I giggled. "Let me guess. Childhood friend, arranged marriage and actual confession on my side."
    I received three blinks in unison, before all three girls nodded.
    "Yeah, hahaha, I knew it," I shook my head as I tried to calm down.
    This was HAREM Highschool AU with Youkai, Exorcists and Superhero.
    No.
    I refuse.
    Give me back my non-harem life.
    Give it back to me!
    Let me experience the blood in the trenches, gunshots and bullets above me.
    Let me experience pain and despair, but not this!
    Not this!
    I brought both of my hands in the air and walked away.
    Yes, I did just that.
    I walked away.

    There.
    I walked away, stepped straight through the school's gates, and then managed to finish my walk into the closest bar I could find.
    Excuse me, but right now?
    "Give me a bottle."
    Exactly.
    I will get dead drunk. Right now. I will leave whatever happens next to someone else while I most calmly return to my sanity.
    ...
    You're a funny guy, mister barman.
    ...
    You know what, you're a nice person kid. Don't know your name, but you're kind to worry about drinking old me.
    No, no, no, just leave me here.
    ...
    Really, I insist. This is a harem world you know? If you just move in a direction you end up getting someone. No, three's more than enough. Oh shut up kid, I'm not mad. Want me to prove it? Uh? Yeah? You don't believe me, kid? Very well.
    ...
    See? I managed to get a phone number off that strange chick.
    Yes kid, I knew what her name was before even nearing her because I'm psychic, of course it's not because we're in a harem anime or manga.
    You say that again, brat? I'll use the force to choke the lights out of you if you insist.
    ...
    Oh mister barman! Good man! Bring me another.
    Yeah...yeah...oh, it's the fourth bottle?
    Dontcha worry.
    Everything's fine and dandy. What? Youkai problems? Yeah, and girls problems, too. Oh, you empathize? Thanks man, you're a real friend, you know that?
    ...

    I opened my eyes with the mother of all headaches pounding against my forehead.
    I had the vague recollection of having the phone number of someone best never called -Misato- and the boy who had been talking with me seemed to have been some random guy, most likely Ron if I wasn't wrong.
    Did I ever even speak with Ron in the Harry Potter world?
    Oh well...
    And the barman...it had been the Hyrule King, of that I was sure.
    I blearily realized I was in my bed, with an ice package over my head.
    "What happened?" I slurred out to the empty room.
    I received no reply.
    Good.
    I needed the silence and the quiet.
    The sickening massive pool of doubt and despair rose from the darkest corner of the room, eerily watching with sick fascination the proceedings of the bag of flesh that was its master, lurching from its perch with unprecedented glee, it sickeningly slithered its way closer until it stood at the very edge of the bed's confine.
    I slammed my hand through the thing's body, hearing it scream and shriek an unholy cacophony as it exploded, disappearing to leave the place to my lightsaber, once firmly stuck within the mass, and now in my grasp.
    I exhaled in relief.
    "You really thought I wouldn't find out where my weapon went?" I growled to the thin air as I clutched the weapon firmly.

    I exhaled and wobbled to the side of the bed.
    Standing up, I gripped the wall opposite the bed and looked out of the window, at the people passing by.
    The weather was cloudy, and it felt slightly cold.
    I ignored the desire to return to bed and stepped out of the room, massaging my face to finish waking up.
    Then, I halted myself before stepping into the bathroom.
    I knocked.
    Loudly.
    "Uh?" came a voice from inside.
    Got you, you diabolical bastard Harem-Law.
    I groggily stepped back and headed to the kitchen.
    A cup of coffee would wake me right up.
    As the coffee brewed, I sat on the kitchen's chair and sighed.
    I closed my eyes, the feeling of being tired once more hitting me like a sledgehammer, but this time mixed with something else.
    Something slightly sweeter.
    Oh, right, right.
    I bit down hard on my hand, and the pain finally woke me up completely.
    Somebody had given me drugs to make me fall asleep.
    And that somebody was going to have to explain a lot of things.
    The burning fire within my soul bubbled in pure undiluted hatred, as it was the only thing still managing my limbs sufficiently enough to make me rise when the coffee pot was done bubbling.
    I drained the coffee like a thirsty vampire would a blood doll, and then exhaled.

    Zelda stepped in the kitchen a moment later, her face showing hints of worry.
    "Are you all right?" she asked -she had to be the one in the bathroom, since her hair was still wet.
    "No, but I'll live," I remarked.
    Zelda nodded. "About...what do you remember?"
    I raised an eyebrow. "You mean the battle between you and Elsa, or are you implying something else?"
    Zelda looked sideways. "You saw them, didn't you," she said.
    I blinked. "No, and even if I did, which I assure you I didn't, I wouldn't care less. Males who are into girls see that and much more thanks to the power of the internet from teen-years going upwards. You'd need more than a panty shot to as much as give me a faint blush."
    I chuckled. "But that's enough of that. I vaguely remember getting dead drunk."
    Zelda nodded, and sat down. "Yes, my father phoned me after you knocked yourself unconscious with drinks. I...I should have told you my line of work was with exorcists, but-"
    She looked guilty, "A lot of people just don't understand what being an exorcist is. And-"
    "Has a high chance of death?" I hazarded.
    "No," Elsa said flatly. "It's just that they always assume you're going to be there even when an emergency forces you to not go on a date, or time constraints, and then there's training, and it's more like being in the military and so of course there are people who say that a frail-looking girl has no place in there -I had to dress as a boy to get in, do you understand? And really, I can do a better job than half of them put together!"
    "How does that end with 'arranged marriage'?" I asked with a slow blink.
    "You were drunk, father was worried, and he didn't really care about 'in full consciousness' on the clause."
    I sighed. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

    I stood up and stretched, "Well, I'll be using the shower then."
    "Uhm..." Zelda began as I started to walk out of the room. "Where does...that leave us?"
    I shrugged. "We can still be friends," I said. "But I'm not looking for a relationship right now," I continued. "And I apparently confessed a few months ago -and I have no memory of the fact either, so that's another can of worms."
    "Have you perhaps been influenced by a cursed item?" Zelda asked. "They're usually responsible for memory loss. The Dark Grimoires are especially-"
    "Are you referring to things like the Necronomicon?" I hazarded.
    Oh god, what sort of mix-mash of stuff was this world anyway? Exorcist, cursed items, youkai, what next, magical girls?
    Kyuubeeeyyyyy where are youuuuu I want to have you meet the power of plasma.
    "That is the ancestor of Dark Grimoires," Zelda said, "I didn't know you knew about them."
    "I know a lot," I remarked. Right. Of course. Harem Trope. Main Character. Hidden Power. Considering the deep darkness I had all but destroyed with a punch to reclaim my lightsaber, I was pretty sure my power had 'been' the Dark Grimoire Ancestor itself, the Necronomicon.
    Then again, the very name 'Lovecraft' was quite ironic to what, in the end, the writer himself wrote of.
    There was very little 'Love' in his 'Craft'.
    And as I took the shower, I sighed.

    ...

    Then the bathroom door opened and someone else stepped inside.
    Someone having only a towel to cover their body. Their female body.
    ...
    Hate you.
    ...
    Fuck you, Harem Laws.
    FUCK. YOU.

    "Occupied!" I exclaimed.
    "I know," Yui said. "Why would I have stepped inside otherwise, big brother?"
    ...
    Help.
    Send help.
    BRING. HELP.

    NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.
     
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    • Poor Shade. We barely knew ye.

    EDIT: I wonder, what happened to Deus Ex Machina? I don't think we saw him here.
     
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