Chapter Ten
I hovered near Shinji as the Nerv personnel recovered the EVA and took him out of there. I gave him a weak smile.
"Well, think positive, it could have gone worse," I said offhandedly as I settled for a nice 'watch over the shoulder'.
Some Nerv folks gave him a basic checkout, and when they saw he could move and walk and talk without troubles, they sent him off.
I remained quiet, humming every now and then as Misato Katsuragi proceeded to once more 'commandeer' the sleeping quarters of Shinji. The only difference was that the boy looked at me and I gave him back a nod.
"She's one of the few genuinely stupid, hence caring, persons you'll find. She's got a bleeding heart. She genuinely believes the world can be saved from Angels if 'everyone does his utmost best'."
I grinned. "It's not a bad thought to have."
Especially when Asuka -I am Broken- Sohryu came next. God all-mighty, Shinji wasn't 'THAT' much broken, and I probably could get him to normal with a few peps talk and simply being there to listen to him and talk back.
Asuka? Asuka was a no-fly zone. First off, the girl was a bundle of repressed insecurities and traumas, and secondly, she took failures badly. Telling her she was a living failure at the game of 'life' was, in my opinion, the easiest way to both short-circuit her and have her die through suicide.
Before treating Asuka, I had to treat Shinji.
I'd uplift the asses of everyone around here.
Hell, I swear if I have to, I'll even make Gendo Ikari a nice and cool dad.
Dream big or go home.
"Well, here we are," Misato said with a chirping voice, gesturing at her dirty, unclean, biologically hazardous home.
Shinji nearly had a spasm.
I saw his face half-freeze and half-twitch as if something had gone through his veins.
"She's a kind person," I said, "But she's not big on hygiene...oh, and she has a pet penguin who uses the fridge and the bath."
Shinji turned his head towards me, eyes wide.
I shrugged. "Don't ask me where she found the penguin. I don't know for one."
"So, you know what we need?" Misato said. "We need a party!" she cheerfully added.
"In the midst of The Zone, in the middle of bio-hazard, a party?" I asked, drawling out. "Check the food for potential mutagens. I'm even more surprised by the fact there aren't any flies around here. Actually...where the hell are the flies?"
As Misato opened the fridge, Shinji replied softly.
"This is a mess."
"You tell me," I remarked. "Unfortunately, I can't help you clean. Damn!" I floated over to the nearest pan. "THIS THING'S CHARCOAL!" I yelled. "Does she even know of the cancer risks!? And look at this! You're going to need a dose of scorching hot water and acid to cleanse the impurities that seem to be a hymn to Nurgle in this sink!"
Shinji's lips twitched.
"You like to clean too?" Shinji asked.
"Of course," I rolled my eyes. "In my family, there are two types of persons. Those who clean and those who make a mess and leave things halfway. I belong to the first category," my skin began to crawl at the sight of a few bags of garbage simply left there, in a corner of the room.
"Was she trying to make a pyramid out of garbage or what?"
My eyes moved to Misato, who appeared to be taking quite the time in lurking through the fridge.
Her ears were perked up however.
"Uh," Shinji said, and I narrowed my eyes further. So, eavesdropping now, Misato?
"Maybe I should clean a bit, Miss Misato?" Shinji asked, and Misato turned with a smile.
"Sure! Meanwhile I'll...ahah, funny story, I'll go and get something to eat!"
And with that, she embarrassingly ran out.
"Ten to one, the fridge's empty," I quipped.
Shinji's lips twitched again.
"Miss Misato is quite busy then?"
"Nope," I replied with a sage nod. "Nope, nope and nope again."
Shinji sighed and started to heft the garbage away from the center of the kitchen and into a corner, before taking one look at the sink.
"You know what?" I said. "You could take the frying pan, this frying pan, and ask the guys at Nerv if the Eva could use it. Think about how fun it would be to smack the Angels on the head with one," I mimicked the motion. "SMACK! BOING! Home run!"
Shinji's lips kept twitching.
"Or if that's not the case, then what about having Misato cook for them? Trust me, the Angels would lift off and never come back."
"How do you know that?" Shinji asked.
I shrugged. "I know a lot of things, Shinji. Fact is, I'm not going to hide them if you want to know. I'm not going to bullshit you with words like 'You're not ready to know' or 'This could change everything'. I can tell you everything you want to know. I can tell you things that will make you curl up in a ball and wish to die and things that will make you think of a brighter tomorrow. I can tell you lots...and lots less, because my memory is as sketchy as hell," I grumbled.
I brought a hand to my forehead. "But to make a long story short, I'm a Dimensional Traveler. I travel through dimensions."
"Oh," Shinji's eyes widened.
He began to dutifully try to clean the pan.
"Leave it," I said.
"But it's-"
"Trust me. You're just going to fill your hands with wrinkle and nothing more. Throw it out and get a new one."
"But I don't have any money," Shinji replied.
"You think Nerv isn't going to give you a salary of sorts? Just ask. I don't know. They'll have a supply guy who'll requisition a frying pan, no?"
Shinji quietly dropped the pan near the sink, and then proceeded to look beneath it.
"I suspect that if Misato has never cleaned before, she's not going to have acid or any prop of the-" I stopped.
Shinji removed from beneath the sink a cobweb filled and dust-covered bundle of still wrapped up cleaning products for the house.
"Remember to clean," Shinji mumbled, reading the small carton that was still apparently attached to it.
"I can't believe it," I said with an air of finality. "Well then," I sighed. "A pity I can't help you."
Shinji gave me a wary smile. "I'll make do."
By the time Misato came back, Shinji had managed to cleanse the kitchen -all while making a few trips to the garbage bins below. Thankfully, there was an elevator.
"You know, we could have simply opened the window and thrown the garbage bags out of it," I said dryly. "They make a satisfying sound when they explode from more than four floors."
Shinji looked at me.
I chuckled.
"That taught my parents that sending a five years old kid to throw the garbage is not the way to go. Especially when you live in an apartment complex with a nice garden within."
His eyes widened.
"Fun fact: the garden also had a glass roof restaurant. So when the garbage hit..."
"Oh my," Shinji said.
I began to chuckle. "Yeah! You're eating with your date, and suddenly 'BAM!' garbage on the windows above your head."
Shinji's shoulders trembled.
"You know what," I said offhandedly. "I'm going to make you laugh one day, Shinji," I grinned. "Don't delay the inevitable."
And as the last bag ended up in the garbage collection area, Shinji chuckled softly.
"Right," I said suddenly as we began to walk back up. "Don't take this the wrong way," I continued, "But tomorrow's going to be tough."
Shinji blinked.
"The fight with the angel today happened near a hospital that hadn't finished evacuating," at least, I think that was the reason the sister of Toji was hurt. I think. "One of your future classmates' sister was there."
Shinji paled.
"Oh, stop it. It wasn't your fault," I said. "The fault lies with the staff of the hospital. They should have followed proper procedures and have already finished evacuating. Maybe it's not even their fault. The fault lies with the Angels. Got that? And let me tell you this," I said softly. "If a single person needs to suffer, so that thousands may be saved, that's the greatest ambiguity of morality in the history of the world."
Shinji frowned. "What do you mean?"
"A lot of people are willing to claim 'Yeah, I'd kill one to save thousands', but few are willing to actually claim 'I'd kill myself if it saved thousands'. A lot of people would think 'it sucks! I'm not going to choose!' but that's shit. It's pure bullshit. If you want to live in a happy world, then go to heaven wherever it is. Sometimes, you've got to make a choice you're not going to like. That's life. So, what you need is to respect the sacrifice, and accept the deal."
"Uh?"
"The moment one claims 'I'd kill one to save thousands' one must also accept the deal 'I'd kill myself to save thousands' and 'If I can sacrifice myself first, I'll go'. Then, and only then, can one use the term 'I'd kill one to save thousands'. Because it's easy to toy with the lives of other people. In Italy, we have a saying," I said. "It's easy to be gay with the asses of others."
Shinji blushed.
"The point is...it's your ass on the line," I said.
Inwardly, I thought about Kaworu and all that KaworuXShinji pairing stuff that...actually made the line a bit more double-meaningful than I had intended.
"You couldn't predict how the fight would pan out. Who'd die, who would not die. Your classmate should count himself lucky to be alive, but he's going to try to hit you, and you know why?"
Shinji nodded. "Because his sister was hurt?"
"No," I replied. "Because he's scared."
"Uh?"
"Fear...ah, fear, delicious never ending fear," I said. "Fear makes men do incredible things to survive, and very stupid things in order to live. He will be afraid, and he'll hit you out of fear. It will be masked as anger, but it won't be anger. He can't fight Angels, he can't strike at his enemies, but he can strike at you. Funny, how the logic of men works, uh? He'll settle for hitting you because he can't punch an Angel," I clenched my right fist. "But you know what you have to do?"
"Let him...hit me?"
"No," I shook my head and smiled like a shark in the water. "You've got to hit him back and scream."
Shinji's mouth was open, and he looked at me without understanding.
"You think I wanted to be the pilot of the Eva!? You think I wanted to hurt your sister!? Shut the fuck up! You don't how squat about me! You think it's easy to fight giant monsters from space when you feel the pain when you're hit!? You think it's easy!? You're still alive! If anyone's still alive in this class, he owes his life to me!"
I settled my right hand on Shinji's shoulder -admittedly, it would have passed through if I hadn't just left it to 'hover'.
"Shinji, what you are doing...it's not something trifle. At all. You're doing something very important. You don't deserve to be hit for it. You're a hero."
Shinji looked down. "I...I don't want to be a hero."
"Let me tell you a secret," I said softly and brought my face closer to whisper it into his ear. "Nobody wants to be a hero," I stood back up, arms crossed. "Everyone wants to be God, or the Ruler of the World, or have a Harem of sexy ladies, or be rich with an harem of sexy ladies. Nobody wants to be a hero. Frankly, being a Hero sucks. You've got to do the right thing, always. If you're superman, no using X-ray vision to see naked women. If you're spiderman, no stealing from thugs. Frankly, the life of a hero sucks."
I shrugged. "But Heroes aren't made. They're born. And Shinji...you were born a hero."
"What are you saying? I'm not...My dad even left me behind and-"
"But when the time came, he called for you," I said back crisply. "And Shinji, your dad's an asshole. A Father isn't born, it's made. It's that simple. He hasn't been a father to you in years? Then he's not your father. He's a genetic component necessary for your creation, but that's all he is. You are yourself. And you are a hero. If I hadn't been there, and your father had called the other pilot -a wounded girl named Rei- you would have piloted it by yourself. Even without training. Even without anyone willing to help you learn how to move that thing. Even with the risk of your life...you would have piloted the Eva."
I smiled at him. "I wouldn't have done that. I'm too much of a coward myself. But you see...that's what makes you a hero Shinji. When the cards are down, when hell on Earth is coming, you clench your fist and you soldier on."
I shook my head softly. "Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by, that here obedient to their laws we lie."
"What's that?" Shinji asked.
"It's the proof of a man's ultimate sacrifice," I replied. "Notice, the 'law' doesn't refer to the written laws, but to the unspoken laws of the Spartans. They held the line against an army thousand of times their size not simply because their king ordered them to, but also because it was the right thing to do. They knew they were going to die, but they held the line until they were betrayed, and the reason they did it was for the other cities of Greece to recruit their own men and fight off the invader."
I sighed. "Well...enough pep-talk. You'll see in the following days what awaits you. For as long as I can, I'll stick around."
Shinji nodded numbly.
Dinner was take away.
But Shinji did fall asleep with his ipod in his ears.
...
"Let's try this," I whispered as the Ipod fired up again in my ears.
I settled for the 'Shuffle' option and the 'entire library'.
I took a deep breath.
What was the worse that could happen?
"Through the gates of hell
As we make our way to heaven..."
"I jinxed myself," I grumbled. "I know I just jinxed myself."
//Author's Notes. *Whistles* I know it's a slow build-up. But that's just the way it should be. How can I hurt you, if the characters disappear too fast?
