Last of the Enemy
Making sure the wound on his arm was firmly bandaged, Walker checked his ammo load for his pistol and pulled out his combat knife. About half the rifle squad was down with injuries or covering the injured, giving him six warm bodies left to press on with. The slat wood doors on the end of the hall were almost vibrating with magical power, preventing those that might try and pass.

"Fuck that noise." Walker decided, before putting his boot to the door. Inside, two more guards marveled at the interruption before the remains of the rifle squad started hosing them with bullets again. Moving in calmly, the lieutenant turned the corner from what was technically the throne room towards the small enclosure that the royal family occupied. This was the only part of the building built totally out of stone, for safety of the royal family in case of attack. The slot hallway was barely big enough for Walker to go down and keep his shoulders square, but when he emerged from the curtain at the other end he hissed quickly, bringing his gun up. Staring him in the face were three lit braizers, an impromptu alter arranged between them. The wooden surface was stained red, an unidentifiable organ in a dish to the side. Below it was the body of King Aede, his chest torn open and face in a rictus of pain. Above was a man in dark robes, burgundy and black standing out against a golden chain around his neck and a white marble circlet on his brow.

That wasn't the important part, though. That was the background to the girl scrabbling at an invisible wall, trying and failing to get through and away from the murderer behind her. Her robe had been slashed at and torn, and she was bruised and bleeding from any number of places. It didn't take a genius to realize what she was asking for, and Timothy Walker had no intention of letting this progress, all else be damned.

Two quick shots proved that the triangle of braziers worked as a wall inbound as well as outbound. Swearing, Timothy ran in, nearly slipping on the rushes that covered the stone flagstones. His knife was of no use, and his gun wasn't helping either. The murderer laughed, taking the time to dump what had been Aede's heart in one of the fires. Smirking, he grabbed the girl's wrist to haul her onto the altar, before cutting away the remains of her dress with quick, practiced motions.

"No!" Timothy yelled, reaching into his belt. He didn't have much; just a book of matches and a fistfull of sand. Throwing the dirt against the magical barrier caused it to catch, floating suspended in the air. It hung there as a phantom, obscuring the view as the murderer prepared to make himself a rapist as well.

Just then, there was a pulsing in the air, a great potential dissipating in a flash. Watching the sand fall as if the barrier was gone, Timothy took a chance, leaping through what was a barrier and into the center of the triangle. Snorting, the man grabbed his knife and leapt forward, right into a fusillade of bullets from Timothy. The rounds didn't stop him, though, presuming any hit.

Considering that he was fighting a literal wizard, it probably didn't matter. Cold steel would settle this well enough. Dodging the first wild swing of the sorcerer, Timothy dropped his empty gun and moved in with a punch that connected against a toned muscle, before transitioning into a grab to catch the loose robes and throw. Sent flying into his own brazier, the sorcerer managed to slash and cut Timothy before he was thrown. Curling his injured arm up protectively for a minute, Timothy worked his fingers carefully, before clenching them into a fist. His hand would work, for now.

The wizard was angry, now, enraged by the coals smoldering in his clothes. Throwing off the outer layer of his rainments, he charged in to grab and stab, only to be met with a hip check. His reward was loosing his balance and tripping, along with a cut clean through Timothy's armor. The later, never one to miss an opportunity, drove his knife into the sorcerers' shoulder before moving back to dodge a storm of feet. When the sorcerer tried to rise, though, Timothy tackled him to get him back on the ground, his own knife raised high. Slamming it down through the collarbone, Timothy twisted as he withdrew. Bits of bone and tendons came with his knife on the serrations, and blood flew freely.

Heaving himself up, Lieutenant Walker wiped off his knife on the leg of his pants, before moving over to where he'd dropped his Beretta in the melee. Loading and cocking it was automatic as breathing, his eyes glazed over.

"Hey! Lieutenant! What happened?" one of the Marines yelled from the passage. "It went all dark, and we got stuck! What happened?"

Lieutenant Walker pulled air in and out mechanically, his eyes glazed over. Moments later, the three braizers went out without a sound, their light and heat gone to be replaced with moonlight seeping in through slots in the roof. As the silvery beams danced through the dark and hinted at what savergy had happened, the girl- no, the woman- stood up, hands shaking as she moved towards her savior.

"Emmortet." she muttered, holding onto his arm carefully. She wouldn't let go, the moonlight lending a silver light as tears started to flow through the smoke and grime she'd been caked with as the rituals had gone on before their interruption. "Emmortet."

Timothy nodded, the woman clinging to him bringing him back closer to reality. Stepping carefully, he started back towards the entrance, back to something even near sanity. Behind him, the black stains on the floor only grew.

---

It was about five minutes later that Lieutenant Vegas arrived, after an eternity of real time. Real time was not counted in minutes or seconds, but events. First command, first battle, first injury. First blood. First kill.

"Man, snap out of it!" Vegas yelled, looking at the stool Timothy was perched on in the main hall. The refugees had been moved there instead, as well as everyone else. It was where the wounded were, after all. "I'm trying to secure this rat trap and my boys can't find shit!"

Shaking his head briefly, Timothy looked up and gave his roommate a toothy grin. "Tanks on the left flank past the wall, right's a swamp. Did you relieve the beach redoubts?"

"Yeah, we got to the northwest corner where most of the fighting was. Most of my guys are still there, and I parked the AT section off by the beach."

"Did you find any of the notables? The captain of the guard?"

"No, and you know I can't speak the language like you can."

Shaking his hand, Timothy sighed and tried to straighten up without disturbing the woman at his side. It wasn't a bother to have her here, even if she was hogging up one of the few medic's blankets. Nobody leered at her when it slipped, though; the exhaustion of battle meant nobody had time for any mischief.

Assuming Lieutenant Walker would stand it. The knife riding high on his belt and broad stains placed on his pants in mindless strokes suggested otherwise.

"Tim! C'mon, man, focus!"

Snapping back to reality, Timothy looked at Vegas carefully. "What is it?"

"Some of your Weapons guys are coming back, and they've got what looks like a few dozen prisoners or refugees or something."

Timothy groaned, looking up to the heavens despairingly. "Is there a medium-tan woman laughing maniacally in the front with weird tattoos?"

"Yeah, and she looks happy-ish."

"Well, go get her then!"

It wasn't much later before Wyta came into the hall, laughing and crowing. She'd scored a victory over the enemy mages, or clerics as she called them, twice over- once, when they had dropped a ward because of the tanks' fire, and once more when she'd stopped the clumsy work of their leader from tapping into the earth for magic here. Her merriment stopped, though, when she saw the young woman clinging to Timothy. Shock replaced it, before she rushed over and started babbling in her native language faster than anyone could keep up. Moments after moments passed, before she looked at Timothy, carefully.

"You almost made it." Wyta muttered, looking at the woman beside Timothy. "You almost made it in time to save my father."

"Sorry." was her only response. It was almost sincere, if it was Lieutenant Walker saying it and not Timothy. "We did what we could."

His response was a wry smile, and a chuckle. "You saved my sister, and your men saved my brother. Against a cleric of the Lord of War? You've done more than enough."

Vegas stepped in, wary. "Lord of War? Is that one of the gods around here?"

"Yes. His followers to the south sometimes come up and raid. The fact we sank eight ships ought to give them pause for next time. Killing his clerics moreso."

"Christ…" muttered Vegas, stroking his chin.

"You're invoking the name of your god after you're done fighting?" Wyta queeried, confused. "Marines are weird."

A moment passed in silence, before Wyta's sister grabbed on to the friendly mage and asked her something. A chuckle met it, before Wyta rubbed her sister's head affectionately and murmured something. Pulling her hand back, the sister muttered a "thanks" and went back to Timothy's side.

"You did one of those voodoo things again, didn't you." Vegas asked, curious.

Wyta chuckled. "Yeah, so? Euenia asked to learn English, so I just gave her a hand. Speaking of which; Lieutenant Walker, Euenia. Hope you two get along well, because I'm pretty sure Crytus is gonna ask you two to get married after he takes the throne."

"Saywhatnow?" both Timothy and Vegas asked, heads pivoting to Wyta.

"You literally saved her life from the cleric, and your men were the ones to drive the invaders out while Crytus was stuck at the redoubt on the beach gate. Then you call your friend here, and he's got the whole place crawling with Marines who've already kept a fire from breaking out or some damnfool merchant from leading a coup, plus your death machines sank two boats even if one of them did get smote." Wyta rattled off, before rolling her shoulders. "Plus, you actually killed a cleric of the Lord of War, which is pretty damn hard for a mortal and probably worth you getting something by itself. Besides, Euenia needs to get married sooner rather than later and she likes you."

Vegas looked at Timothy who looked at Vegas. Both then scanned the room for more senior officers, found none, and looked for Staff NCOs. There were none of those either, unfortunately. It looked like they'd actually have to make an unsupported decision for once.

"I… um, can't really… err…" Timothy stuttered, trying to stall for time.

"You see, under the… um, this decision… ah…" Vegas supported, before getting cut off with a withering glare. Apparently only the groom was allowed to stall for time here.

"Not now, of course." Wyta said, smirking. "But soon."

Looking anywhere but Wyta, Timothy tried to find any way out of the commitment until he looked down. Euenia was still on the floor, holding his arm carefully. She still looked terrible, but as she looked up at him and mouthed 'please?' he found his only real answer was "Yes."
 
Martel Meets the Nerds (Week 17)
Walking out of the temple, Martel rubbed his face in his hands. This was the third week he'd been bringing bread over, and Jenevie had been there each time. The other users of the temple had been very haughty, always leaving when he came. Obstinately, they were at work doing important rituals elsewhere.

Practically, Martel thought they didn't like him.

Still, it was relaxing, going to the temple and sharing a drink with Jenevie. She was nice, and it was good to get away from the barracks and the tent cities most of the Marines lived in. It wasn't much, generally only an hour or two, but it was enough to make a friend.

"Psst! Hey, Mack!"

Looking around, Martel spotted a bush talking to him. Poking it revealed the very silly man inside, his ghillie suit absolutely useless when he was making noise.

"Who are you, and what the hell are you doing?" Martel asked, squinting carefully.

"Things. Listen, go down to the corner, and get in the humvee."

Martel looked down the road. No humvee.

"Are you high on something?" he asked, before the ghillie suit hit itself on the head.

"Hey, Dominos, get the damn humvee down here!" the ghillie suit muttered into a radio. Two clicks came back, before a humvee idled down to rest at the corner.

"You know, the Captain always mentioned I should take directions from outside my chain of command carefully." Martel said idly, walking away from the humvee. Moments later, he stopped as another one came out, the driver rolling down the window to grin.

"Hey, Mack." the driver said, grinning. "Sorry I'm late. Wanna get a ride?"

Martel squinted, until the ghillie suit came up behind him and opened a door to shove him in. Moments later, he was up and clawing for his knife.

"The fuck is this shit!" Martel yelled, glaring at the front. "You don't just-"

As the ghillie suit pulled off it's helmet to show a grinning face, Martel stopped dead.

"Captain Lawrence. Sir." he finished. "What is this?"

"SIGINT." Captain Lawrence chuckled, as the short ride back to the main firebase started. "Specifically, magical SIGINT."

"Okay…" Martel muttered.

"You remember the fracas that ensured earlier this month, correct? Capitol of the Medelli got attacked, some of our guys got sent in to handle it, big broohaha later this week." Lawrence said glibly as the humvee kept on rolling. "Well, after that NOAA guy's unexpected marriage, that whole mess, and some other… auxiliary factors… we've been tapped to develop a means of tracking and monitoring magical usage."

"And I come into this, how?"

"You see, for the most part here magic and religion are intermixed. Now, unless gods are both a thing and running around regularly doing god things, this means we need an in with the local clerics to acquire supplies for testing. That's where you come in, of course."

"I'm not nicking stuff from the shrine."

"No, no of course not! We're just working on a background detector is all; see if we can't catch any magic on someone that they don't know about. If something gets on you, then we'll know we've run into a good positive hit."

Rolling his eyes, Martel nodded. It took about five minutes for them to get to the intel tent, and another two to get to the "room" where The Device was set up. Martel's first reaction was a facepalm.

"This is your magic detector?" he asked, pointing to it carefully. "Really? You tied an arrow below a tripod with some holy symbols around it in a circle over some water?"

"Hey!" Dominos yelled, the unassuming driver and general helper moving ot protect his baby. "That's holy water below it!"

Martel squinted, and started working towards it. Unnervingly, the arrow rose up and pointed at him.

"YES! YES YES YES!" Dominos was yelling in the background, cheering as he watched the magic detector apparently detect magic. "SHE LIVES!"

As Martel started walking around, someone knocked on the door. Looking out the small plastic section of the flap, Captain Lawrence looked out.

"Shit, it's Wonderkid! Hide the thingy!" he yelled, before throwing open the tent flap. "Lieutenant Walker, come in, come in! Did you bring the item we mentioned?"

Looking out from over a sleepless face, Walker grumbled and passed over his knife bayonet. "Jus' give it back by Tuesday, please. Or Thursday. Defin'tly before I get hitched…"

"Yes, yes, of course!" Lawrence said, bodily shoving Lieutenant Walker out of the tent. "See you at the wedding!"

As the flap shut again, Dominos whipped off the cover, to show the arrow pointing right at Walker's knife. Rolling his eyes, Martel just started edging his way towards the door. Time to exit stage left, while the nerds were distracted. Just as Lawrence started approaching, the bowl of holy water started smoking and the whole tripod began to rattle. Not being dumb enough to stand around, Martel jumped behind a table before the whole "Magic Detector" exploded into a pile of shrapnel and a hideous keening note.

Peeking his head up, Martel grimaced. The tripod was in pieces, the bowl was upside-down and smoking, and that keening was Domino at realizing his precious device was ruined.

"Well, Captain Lawrence, it seems you have more important matters to get to. See you!" Martel called, before running for safety and sanity and anything not that den of lunatics.
 
Love Interests (week idfk, replaced by Love and Cats)
Love Interests
(Week 17)

It was about ten at night when Sergeant Frank Valois and Lance Corporal Miguel Villalobos heard a familiar jingling over the sound of the space heater in their tent. They'd only had the tent for a couple of weeks since they had gotten married, but it had become homelike, even if interruptions like this had become depressingly common. The newlyweds waited a few minutes before Frank popped his head out of the tent to take a look around.

"What is it this time honey?" Miguel said as he looked over at the tent flap from his perch on a crate they had pilfered to be a couch.

"A pheasant." His husband, Frank, replied as he stared at the dead and unplucked bird hanging down from a convenient tent-pole.

"Is she ever going to get the message?" Miguel said as he ran his fingers through his black hair. "We've told her you're off the market twice. I'm about ready to call the MPs."

"I don't really think that's necessary." Frank said, before taking the pheasant in. "Sheti is a nice girl with a cute kid, and I don't want her getting in trouble over this."

"Because you want to tap that." Miguel said as he sighed. "I didn't know you were a breast man though. I might not have said yes if I'd known. Your lip rug is bad enough."

"I like all kinds. Besides, you're just mad that she can pull off that dress better than you can." Frank shot back, stroking his mustache.

"I could pull that off." Miguel replied, "I'd just need some new heels is all. Maybe a nice set of pumps. Oh, and a new wig."

"Sure…" Frank muttered, trying to find his boots. His bald head reflecting the lamplight.

"You're going to give it back to her aren't you?" Miguel said as he sat up. "I'm coming with."

Sheti, as well as her child lived in a farming hamlet about a mile out of Metella proper, and only a few hundred yards from the fence line of the main base. It was on a small rise that was just above the high-water mark for the spring flood. The hamlet itself wasn't much more than a couple of barns and corn cribs, with maybe a half dozen pithouses worked their way around the rim of the rise.

Sheti's late husband had been one of the farmers there after they'd had their first child, and his family hadn't yet thrown them out of the house on the edge of the hamlet yet, even if they were loathe to support a full-blood and her half-breed toddler.

Frank knocked on the door, and after a minute Sheti opened the door and popped her head out. The smile on her face quickly faded and her blue-grey ears drooped, almost hiding in her hair, when she noticed Miguel there as well. The maltese cat-woman then exited and shut the door behind her. In the light of the moon and a flashlight her eyes glowed even as they narrowed.

"I guess this is actually a no then." She said in pidgin as Frank and Miguel nodded.

Frank handed the pheasant over. "Yeah. I'm married. I love my husband, and I can't just leave him for someone else."

"Could I do your laundry or something? Could you set me up with someone?" Sheti replied nervously, with her ears back, eyes wide and voice low. "I need to go somewhere else, they won't let me plant, and I can't leave my daughter with anyone here to really hunt. She's too young to travel into the mountains, and they might try something if I'm gone…"

"We'll ask around, but there's not really much work at the base if you can't speak English, and you can't stay in our quarters." Miguel said.

"Maybe try with someone else?" Frank said.

"Some of the boots in my section or the sergeant could probably go for the whole single mom catgirl thing." Miguel continued. "Alternatively there's Captain Lee. Only problem is he's Captain Lee."

"I don't think that would work out." Sheti replied. "I'm about ready to give up on men anyway. You let women marry, right?"

"Isn't Johnson a dyke?" Frank said switching to English.

"You just described half the women in the brigade." Miguel replied.

"The redhead." Frank said. "Weather forecaster, sings Duran Duran songs on karaoke night."

"Right, her." Miguel said. "She might be worth a shot."

"So," Frank said, switching back to Meledli, "We might have a plan."

"What kind of plan?" Sheti said nervously.

~

"Sergeant, what are you planning?" Jessica Johnson said when she got the look on Frank's face.

"I just want you to go out on a date with someone." Frank said, pulling something up on his phone "Just as a favor."

"Who is it this time?" Johnson said, "It better not be one of your husband's boots. I told you I'm not interested in men, and I don't need a merkin. Why you think I'm one of those boatfuckers down trying to build a dock is a mystery to me."

"Well, it's not a guy, but a full-blooded girl. Cat, looks kinda like a Maltese, very cute." Frank continued as he handed his phone over to Jessica. "It doesn't even need to be much more than the two of you and her kid having a picnic or something."

"Cute or not, she has a kid." Johnson said, her green eyes narrowing even as she looked at the screen, before handing the phone back. "You probably should've led off with that Frank. Even if she is cute enough that I won't report you over this."

Frank waved his hand, pulling out a cigarette. "It's not like that. Her daughter is adorable, and is why I'm trying to find her someone. Her late husband's family hate her, and she can't really hunt or travel with a toddler." he said, lighting up and offering the pack to Johnson "and I said I'd help her find someone if she'd stop bothering us."

"Why is she a widow, anyway?"

"He was one of the guys who died in that first skirmish, along with the nomarch and a few others." Frank said. "She doesn't hold it against us, and she's been essential for the Clinic's research since her daughter is the only catgirl child in town, but his family are pretty anti-everything as a result. Most of that hamlet, really."

"Christ, what is it with you and charity cases? This is like that damn dog."

"I'm a bleeding heart. Sue me." Frank replied with a shrug. "Anyway she's hot, and she has a pretty good sense of humor, so do you want to go out with her or not? If you don't want to, I could try and set her up with Captain Lee."

"Fuck, if that's the alternative, I'll go out with her." Johnson said. "Christ, talk about going for the throat. I mean, you might as well let them kill her or something, put her out of her misery.

"Well, that's option three," Frank muttered, puffing away. "Except the minute she's dead, the kid's getting thrown in a sack and stoned to death or something. Probably just as much to spite us as to just kill the kid since the locals know we're doing very important research on her, which makes it my problem and you're the only decent asset we have for this, outside putting them in protective custody or playing favorites with a particularly hated widow."

Jessica gulped, and swiped the proffered cigarette from earlier. "That would probably have gotten me to agree sooner, you know. 'Oh hey, this kid's on the line and the circumstances involve a threat to our control of the town, do us a favor and show up a few times, maybe get her to scrawl on some paperwork.'" Jessica said as she lit up. "But no, you have to mention Captain Lee, didn't you?"

"There is no fate worse than Captain Lee, except maybe a posting in Asscrackistan, and even then the second one has danger pay." Frank said. "So I used what worked."

"You still could just take this up with the MPs or something, instead of trying to be sneaky." Johnson continued. "God knows this would be the perfect dry run to get a women's shelter or something going."

Frank scoffed, and waved his cigarette dramatically out towards the base wall. "You tell me, with a straight face, that you think we can get the people and the money to work out a woman's shelter when we can't even get a goddamn seven-day forecast that isn't 'mid sixties with a chance of rain, bring a poncho you fucking boot'? When my entire job is hunting down dumbfuck boots who might have run into spoopy shit and making sure we don't get smited for accidentallying another holy site? When the Nerd Department is trying to figure out the best way to drag these people out of sustenance farming without causing a famine along the way?"

"Fuck you, you'll get a good seven day forecast when we get a radar worth a damn." Jessica growled, puffing angrily for a moment as Frank's cold summation of the facts warred with her rosy recollections of the past few weeks. "but you have a point. It's still not right."

"Never said it was." Frank replied, as he tossed a butt into the sand bucket. "And this case can't wait, so we'll do what we can. I'll go with you to bring it up to the brass if you want, see if something isn't done, like what happened to that son of a bitch Schmuckatelli bought his wife from."

"Where is your husband, anyway?"

Frank sighed, looking up at the stars. "We flipped a coin. I won."

"Christ on a cracker." Jessica muttered, the remains of her cigarette falling from her lips. "You sent him to Captain Lee."

"Ayep."

---

The blinding headache was not a good motivator for Captain Lee to get up.

"Sir, it's fourteen hundred hours. Please get up."

Neither was the NCO outside his door.

"Sir, it's fourteen hundred hours, please get up."

The only response was a mumbled "Fuck off. I'm sleeping."

"Sir, it is fourteen hundred hours and if you do not get up I will tell Gunny Washington which place of ill repute you were drinking at last night so he can bring his boys over to raise some hell and get you out of your funk."

Throwing himself out of bed, Captain Lee swore up a storm as he realized he'd been sleeping in his cammies again. After throwing on his boots and cover, he threw open the door to greet the NCO serving as wakeup call.

The sunlight that greeted the Captain nearly threw him back into his room, his headache blowing up into a full-blown migraine in a flash. Stumbling out the door, he grabbed the NCO's canteen and started guzzling, stopping only to take a proffered aspirin and set of cheap sunglasses.

Sighing, Miguel wondered why he expected literally anything else. Captain Lee had been a fairly decent person and officer back when they were a reserve unit in Florida, and he had a day job managing a Walmart. Then they'd left, he'd gotten the note his wife had left after he deployed, and his daughter died in a car crash, for which he'd been stop-lossed from getting to go to the funeral.

That was two months uphill of today in a long and steep downward spiral. The captain had been put on night desk watches to try and keep him from doing anything rash, but the alcohol just caught up to him anyway. People grieve and all, and this wasn't exactly a combat situation for the weapons company, but the Captain had self-destructed spectacularly even for that. Psych was waiting to get their hands on him, but they weren't about to take him and leave an important and easy job wide open.

Miguel didn't even bother to salute as he started moving the Captain down to the mess. The plan was pretty simple, and the sort of thing everyone had already perfected. Get the Captain fed, and then start asking about whatever you need because you'll probably get it.

"What do you want, corporal?" The Captain said over a cup of coffee.

"I was actually hoping you'd be feeling up to talking to a friend of mine. She's been put in a tight spot, with her husband dying and all, and we all know you have a soft spot for kids."

"Mmmmm."

Taking this as a good sign, Miguel pressed on. "You don't have to do anything big, just have dinner with her so her village doesn't try anything-"

"No."

"Excuse me, sir?" Miguel asked, dumbfounded.

"No, I'm not doing some hokey picnic on a hill so some cat doesn't get shanked by angry villagers." Lee said, sipping his coffee. "I'm also not going to sleep with her, marry her, or anything else from this obvious attempt at a first date."

"They're going to drive her out soon." Miguel protested weakly. "And when they do, the kid gets the axe."

"Your husband's problem, not mine." Lee replied. "More importantly, I happen to like being a bachelor right now. It's relaxing."

"Funny, I didn't know they served relaxation in a goatskin bag down in the village."

"It's amazing what a little alcohol will do to your mood when you've been stuck living with a haridian and your daughter is dead."

Miguel growled. "You can lie in paper, you can lie to the next watch, but you can't lie to a Lance who's trying to get you laid."

"Well, I'll decline the offer, and you're not going to press the issue."

"Oh?"

"I mean, unless you want to get transferred to the company we're giving up to go back to the Fleet for a nice relaxing float in the South China Sea, or eat an NJP."

Miguel scowled. Nobody could deal with Lee when he was like this- it was a lost cause. It was best to leave now and hold his peace, so he did.

---

The area at the edge of the old town where Jessica met Sheti for their date was actually pretty nice. Being floodprone and too close to the walls to be cultivated, the current plan was to turn it into a park once some benches and equipment came in. In the meantime, it was a good place for a picnic, as long as you didn't sit in the swampy bits. With that in mind, Jessica had brought a tarp, and a tote full of food and drinks. In this case a couple cheesesteaks, a thermos of coffee, fruit cups, and a parfait.

Sheti had brought her daughter Nauta, a sack and a hunting bow and arrows.

The two sat on the tarp and conversed as well as they could in pidgin, even as Nauta ran around, tugged on her mother's hair and tail, and gorged herself on the parfait.

"I've needed this." Sheti said as she flicked her tail around, "Since my husband died, I haven't had a moment to relax. They've killed my dogs, threatened my daughter, and left me with no other way to feed us outside of picking off deer or pheasants stupid enough to go into the orchard."

"You live a hard life."

"If I could get away with it, I'd probably kill them all." Sheti said wistfully as she looked at her daughter playing with a doll. "It wouldn't be hard if I could get some poison, but shooting them or hacking them all to death would be too slow for it to be safe for her."

"Are you really capable of that?" Jessica asked as she looked at the grey woman who was pensively flicking her ears around, "I killed a man last week, and I don't think I could do it again unless it was him or me."

Sheti laughed. "I did it to put food on the table when it was just me, and those people didn't even deserve it." She continued confidently. "Not like they wouldn't do the same to me, if they ever left their huts for anything except the corn."

Jessica laughed nervously even as she unwrapped a philly and handed it to Sheti. "I can understand that."

"Are you all that squeamish about violence?" Sheti said as she looked at the philly, covered in cheese and peppers and mushrooms, even as her ears tracked her now sleeping daughter's movements. "Is your land really so peaceful even your soldiers can be like that?"

"I'm supposed to be a fobbit, and I didn't join the Marines to go out and kill people." Jessica said as she unwrapped her own sandwich. "I joined up because if I didn't I'd have been stuck in Logan County waiting tables for the rest of my life. Nothing to see, nowhere to go, nothing to do… the boredom and drugs would've gotten me faster there than my odds of getting an arrow here."

"How do you even eat this thing?" Sheti asked, her ears folded back in confusion as she looked at the sandwich

"You eat it like this," Jessica said, before holding her philly up in Sheti's line of sight and taking a bite out of it.

Sheti followed suit. "What is this?" She asked in between bites, with her ears perked up, "I've never had anything like it."

"Bread, beef, provolone, green peppers, onions and mushrooms." Jessica replied. "There's no tomatoes or egg whites in it."

"What are those?"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "We kinda found out the hard way there's a lot of food the locals like you can't eat. Tomatoes, egg whites, certain sugars: they all make you sick."

"Glad I'm not the one who found that out the hard way." Sheti joked, taking another bite. "Did Skior find out about it?"

"Skior?"

"Old… comrade? I think that word is right? Comrade of mine. He did sales down here. Actually met my husband through him after a business dispute."

Thinking for a minute, Jessica tried to decide how to broach this topic gently. "Was he about yea tall, bushy unbraided beard, spat a lot, kinda greasy?"

Sheti shrugged. "Yeah, sounds about right."

"Well, since he was pimping some girls he'd brought in on our base and that's not allowed for a number of reasons, some of the guys tried to run him off, and followed him back to his camp. Except then they found his stock and… welll…"

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's pretty dead." Jessica shrugged. "Probably just got shot instead of having his heart torn out like that pimp."

"Eh, he was horrible in the sack anyway, and tried hoarding our share of the loot." Sheti groused, finishing her cheesesteak, and going for the other half. "These are pretty good!"

"Thank the commissary." Jessica grinned. "After Awri puked up all over their floor from sweet tea and some kid's mother freaked out over bloody stools they made a local-safe menu."

"You know, if it means food like this on a regular basis, I'd be more than happy to come to the base with you." Sheti said, batting her eyelashes and smiling. "This is delicious!"

"It's on a rotation, but everything is pretty meat heavy." Jessica replied as she poured herself a cup of coffee and Sheti's expression shifted to something that reminded Jessica of a housecat that just heard a can opener even as she scooted closer to Jessica. "I've been in for three years, and I'm still not used to how good and how much food there is."

"Is it unusual?" Sheti asked, looking concerned as she leaned over. "I thought you all came from paradise."

"No," Jessica said, in between sips of coffee. "I grew up really poor in the country."

"What about the medicine?" Sheti asked, as she moved to brace herself with an arm. "I've been taking Nauta to the doctors so she'll be safe from plague and worms, and because we need the food."

"I think that's cheap enough you don't have to worry about it." Jessica said in between sips as she tried to calm the older woman. "The doctors here are working very hard to make sure we don't accidentally make everyone sick, and that's why they're not charging for anything or outright paying people with peanut butter and spam to come in. Of course wives and children get priority over other civilians, but everyone does that."

"But isn't that why you give offerings to the gods and pray and keep food safe? Do your gods not protect you-" Sheti said, before being interrupted with a kiss.

"You're cute when you worry that much." Jessica said after pulling away. "We've got good doctors here and none of you are stupid enough to avoid vaccination."

"It's just, she's all I have left." Sheti said. "After my husband died, I don't have any family left, my former partners are all dead or gone, and Skior is dead. So it is the two of us, and I don't want to lose anyone else."

It was at this point that Jessica pulled a confused Sheti into a hug. "You're not doing this alone. I'm here, as are Frank and Miguel, and from what I've seen the enlisted wives here are pretty tight as well."

"Where are you going with this?" Sheti asked, unsure of how to respond to the gesture.

"I mean you were looking to get married right?" Jessica replied.

"Yes, I was." Sheti said.

"Then let's keep doing this." Jessica said before pulling back. "Grab your shit, I'll grab the kid, and we'll go to my quarters before we talk to Sergeant Valois."

Nauta didn't even stir once on the walk back, and Jessica laid her down on the small bed in her quarters to continue sleeping. Sheti watched over her and silently judged the shoddy construction of the B-Hut while Jessica, having decided against hauling the two of them all the way across camp for what amounted to a social call, called Sergeant Valois. By the time the Sergeant came around, it was late enough for the pair of locals to focus on sleeping, although Jessica was still up.

"So, how'd it go?" The Sergeant said as he sat down on the bench outside the B-hut.

"They're both asleep on my bed." Jessica replied. "Hopefully her neighbors don't do anything to her house while she's gone."

"I don't think they're stupid enough to give us an excuse to come down on them. If they think she's fucking an American, that's protection enough for now." Frank said as he lit up. "You think you might end up marrying her?"

"She's certainly cute enough."

"You better start doing the paperwork then." Frank said. "I'll have the numbers for the people you're supposed to talk to on your desk tomorrow morning."
 
Wedding Leadup (Week 16)
Sitting down in the conference tent, Timothy fidgetted nervously. The Lieutenant Colonel was coming in to talk to him before they had the Medelli royal family, what little was left of it. He'd really meant Crytus, Wyta, and Euenia, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Politics was about to happen, and he'd apparently need to be prepared for it.

As the tent flap moved, Timothy stood up and saluted reflexively.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Colonel Harper!"

Returning the salute, Harper sat down with a faint plunk, spreading out a series of papers from his briefcase. Digging through them, he settled into the folding chair with a sigh.

"So. Just so we're clear, this is a discussion on the events of four days ago, when Foxtrot Company was deployed to protect Antenela from what all analysis deems to be a raiding group from a collection of southern city-states."

Timothy just looked at Harper, confused. "That city has a name?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Timothy, it has a name."

A moment passed, in which a crow outside the tent cawed. Shaking his head, Harper continued.

"Either way, your actions in successfully subdividing your rifle platoon into maneuver elements pared with your borrowed assets from the weapons platoon to secure vital objectives has been very well received, as well as the records of civilians rescued and total lack of fatalities on your part. In addition, I've heard rumors that on discussion with certain highly-placed members of the Antenelan royal family, you were put in for award of a Bronze Star with device for valor."

Timothy waited for Harper to continue. Hearing nothing, he nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"Incidentally, between your time in grade, recent activities requiring far more personal responsibility than is normally expected of second lieutenants, and your other skills development, it has been decided to award you the position of first lieutenant."

"Yes, sir." Timothy said mechanically, trying to think. He was getting promoted? For what?

"If you'll give me a minute," Harper muttered, digging through his suitcase "I'll get you your new bars, and a stack of liberty passes for one of your squads so you've got some sorry sods who owe you favors tonight."

"Okay… sir…" Timothy muttered, still trying to get used to the fact he was now First Lieutenant Timothy Walker, instead of Second Lieutenant Timothy Walker.

"Oh, and off the record?" Harper said, grinning. "Good work there. That could have been a major fuckup, no matter how you slice it. Hostile terrain, closed environment combat, fucking magic… real basket of crazy you were in. Not the kind of thing that we expect good results out of."

"Thanks." Timothy muttered. "Still want to know how that damn knife got through my plates."

"What?" Harper asked, confused.

"Yeah, big cleric guy took a swipe at me, and it went straight through my plate like it wasn't there. Doc said it was probably gonna make an interesting swimming pool scar."

"Christ…" the Lieutenant Colonel muttered, diving into his papers again. "God damn magic bullshit. First I gotta explain a tank getting blown up with a stinking javelin of all things, then there's a knife that goes through SAPI ballistic plates, the bulletproof shields, just kill me now…"

Timothy chuckled. "If it makes you feel better, that last one's pretty easy to handle. Just mag dump into it until they hit a wall or fall down, and aim for the bits not under armor."

"We'll put that in the notes." Harper muttered. "So how are you feeling about the wedding negotiations?"

Timothy's eyes bugged out, and he stood up like a shot. "What?!" he screeched.

"The wedding negotiations. For you." Harper said, shooting Timothy a Look. "The wedding negotiations for which we're bringing in the king for, shortly before you get hitched."

"Is there a plan B?" Timothy asked, scanning for exits quickly.

"Well, that depends." Harper said cordially, before pulling out a flask and taking a sip as he ran out of professionalism. "Plan B option one is sending you to Thule AFB for the rest of your time in the Corps. I've heard Greenland is very nice this time of year. Plan B option two is I call the French Foreign Legion recruiter I have on speed-dial and you're singing La Marseillaise by ten o'clock tomorrow with a wine glass in one hand and a baguette in the other."

"I'll take that as a no, then." Timothy muttered, settling himself in a folding chair. "I mean… this is…"

"If you say something other than 'totally expected' I'm going to make you quarter with Captain Lee, so help me." Harper growled. "If you'd read one book that wasn't by Heinlein, you'd know this is all According to the Prophecy."

"The Prophecy?" Timothy said, confused.

"The stereotypical course of events, as seen by one outside the frame of reference you've placed around yourself. Lemme put it this way- would you expect Sleeping Beauty to get married at the end of the film?"

"Yes…"

"Well then, Prince Philip, you're gonna have to get ready for your dragon fight then."

"What?"

Grinning, Harper stood and collected his papers. "If the good Master Sergeant Jasper has the timing I think he has, you've got maybe a minute before the royal delegation gets here. You'll note the briefcase leaning on the table leg?"

Timothy nodded. Was this an elaborate joke? No, this was the Corps. Jokes came in decaf and disasters, and this wasn't quite the first or second, yet.

"Inside that briefcase is the emergency response button. Push that button, and this entire tent is gonna turn into a MP dogpile. Don't use it unless you need to. You've got about two minutes before I bring backup, so don't strike a deal until then."

Timothy nodded carefully. He wasn't touching that case unless Crytus drew a sword on him, and even then… well, Crytus probably wouldn't actually have a sword here. He'd probably have one of the machetes that guys were having mailed in as trade goods, since Timmy knew that after he'd been selected to play rescue unit they had been rotating Vegas' guys around for visitations and whatnot. The logic, in as far as it pertained to him, was that his platoon was now the default unit for interacting with locals in stress situations- in other words, he was the cavalry. That wasn't pertinent to what came next, though. What came next would be the stylized and formalized negotiations for him to get hitched to a woman he didn't know-

-the flash of the shield glowing, his bullet ricocheting off-

-that he knew very little of. Still, getting married would be an event, and not one he had a lot of practice with. A Christian ceremony, even a vague nondenominational one, was something the young lieutenant was familiar with. The pagan ritual that he'd seen with Bear and Wyta had been almost disturbing, the intricate chanting and slaughter driving home that this was not home.

If he was going to be perfectly honest, one of Timothy's few requests was a church wedding. That, and making sure he got someplace to build a house. His room with Vegas was inappropriate for any sort of cohabitation, and there wasn't really another option save a tent. Timothy, even as young as he was, knew you didn't get married and then move into a tent. Admittedly, half of it was from listening to Wyta bitch about living in a tent when he went to pick up Bear for trips to one of his half-dozen weather monitoring stations, but the remainder was common sense.

Still in the midst of psyching himself up, Timothy didn't notice the tent flap opening. Walking through, Wyta led the way, with Crytus and Eunia walking in behind. Shaking Crytus' hand, Timothy just pulled all the chairs away from the table and braced himself. As Euenia scooched up close to him, Crytus and Wyta made two independant positions, turning the arrangement almost into a triangle.

"So I made sure everyone can speak English today." Wyta led off with a huff, shooting mixed glares at Timothy and Crytus. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Thanks." Timothy replied, trying not to smirk at the testy witch. "I know my Antenellan is… poor."

"Literally what?" Wyta asked, sharply.

"This language." Timothy said, making a vague hand-wave gesture. "Normally a language is the name of the culture or city or something, and a suffix. So Antenella, and the -an suffix, and that's a name."

"That's stupid."

"That's English."

A sharp cough broke off the discussion, and Crytus spoke up. "As fun as it is for someone else to bicker with my sister, we do have business to get to. Timothy Walker, it was your sworn men who came to our aid those four days past?"

Timothy nodded, speaking up. "Yes. I lead the Marines in the first wave, and we ruined the ships."

"Hey, those ships were on me!" Wyta protested, striking her chest.

"Only if they were the beached ones." Timothy shot back. "The Abrams killed the rest."

Crytus stroked his chin carefully. A mostly trimmed beard hugged his jawline, and lengthened to what could be considered a goatee if not for the fact his mustache was a totally separate affair transfixed outward with what had to be a copious quantity of wax. "Do you think we could acquire one of these Abrams for defending the city?"

Coughing for a second, Timothy shook his hand. "They're… ah, temperamental. There's a lot of things they need, and we can't give them to you and you can't buy them from us."

"So that's a no." the young king said, shaking his head.

"Let's save asking for armored units after we know this isn't another spearhead for a drillhead."

"Quite." Crytus replied. "In any case, it is traditional for the bride's side to provide a gift to the couple and the groom's side to procure something for the bride's family. Personally, I think some of those weapons would be a good idea- they certainly allowed your side to fight well beyond their weight!"

"Now that, I think I can comment on. How many do you think you would need?" Timothy asked, rubbing his hands

"One for me, ten or so for my guard, a few spares.."
"I'll talk with my commanding officer about it. He'll be the one releasing goods to you, anyway."

Crytus' eyes perked up. "Ah, so he is like your father then?"

Looking over at Euenia quickly, Timothy noticed a slight frown. "Sorta?" he said, shaking his hand. "I answer to him for everything, but my father is still in Delaware."

"Where's that?" Euenia asked quietly, taking Timothy's hand. "Is it far?"

"Um… lemme think. Through the portal back home would put us somewhere in North Carolina, get on Highway Forty, take that to Highway Ninety-Five, take that to Virginia Fifty-Eight, take that to the Ocean Highway… er…"

Euenia blinked at the long description on how to get to Timmy's home. "So, how long of a trip?"

"About six, eight hours in a car depending on traffic."

"Is that like a truck?" Euenia asked, curious. "I didn't particularly like them- so noisy!"

"No, cars are normally better." Timothy soothed carefully.

Coughing quietly, Crytus dragged the conversation back on track. "So we have your tentative agreement for arms? Is there something you would desire, a condition?"

"Actually, yes." Timothy said calmly, breathing deeply. "If we could get married here, that would be best."

"Done!"

Timothy started, before Wyta laughed sharply before rubbing her head in pain. "What Kingy over there isn't mentioning is that if he tries to hold another feast the merchants will try and storm the castle, again."

"Wyta!"

"I spy with my little eye someone who shouldn't make his sister get hungover for negotiations so she shuts up…"

Looking over to Eunia, Timothy whispered in her ear carefully. "Is this normal?"

"It happens all the time." his wife-to-be answered back. "One of them starts boasting, and the other one starts playing tricks, and then before you know it they're-"

Eunia choked as Wyta sprang from her chair, litteral claws ripping from her hands as she tried to eviscerate her brother where he sat. Crytus, fully expecting this, jumped up and whipped his chair forward to bat her out of the way, putting his sister in a groaning mess over by the side of the tent. Wyta wasn't down for the count yet, though, and threw sand is she pushed herself back to her feet. Throwing himself and Eunia backwards, Timothy glared at both of the brawling siblings before he dug out the panic button in the briefcase before sighing. Better just let those two burn themselves out- the MPs probably didn't want to spend a few hours as polecats.

"I honestly expected this to start sooner." Euenia whispered as the pair sat on the table. "Crytus brought out the cooked beer last night."

"Cooked beer?"

"Yeah, when you put it in a pot with some butter, and cook it a little, then mix it back in to a normal skin, you get cooked beer. It's supposed to be really strong, but I think it's just terrible."

"Oh." Timothy muttered. "When we want to make alcohol stronger, what we do is we just boil or freeze water out of it."

Euenia nodded. "I'll need to try some." she said, smiling. "So, were they telling the truth when they said you had clear skin?"

"Yes?" Timothy replied, shrugging. "I don't have any tattoos or anything."

Euenia grinned, and licked her lips subconsciously. "Can I see?"

Timmy briefly weighed making his future wife happy versus his odds of catching debris from the furball on the floor where Crytus had his sister in a pretty good arm bar while Wyta was wheeling and trying to shake him off with a chair lying distant. Shrugging, he unbuttoned his blouse and took it off, folding it on the table. Euenia was on top of him in an instant, hemming and hawing as she traced intricate patterns over his pale white skin and chuckled happily.

Of course, that's when Lieutenant Colonel Harper walked in. After about eight seconds of dead silence and stillness, Harper nodded stiffly at Timothy. Timothy nodded back, before Harper gave him a sheaf of files. Scribbling the current negotiation stance on the back with an attached pen, Timothy handed it back like a loaded weapon. Harper nodded, shook his head at the poor bastard, and walked out to allow the disaster in motion to resume.


---

About an hour later, Harper was sitting in his office, smiling. Sixty rifles, two thousand rounds per rifle, wedding and feast held here, the Padre Malfestios would officiate, and nothing would go wrong at all. Especially not a catfight on the bride's side of the isle, which promised to be a fairly small delegation. Euenia would be having Wyta as her Matron of Honor and one of her horde of half-sisters with the flowers, Vegas would Best Man to Walker up on the stand while Pellas would be the ring-bearer, and most of Walker's platoon would make sure the event had guests. The rest of the base, those that were there, would be getting liberty to attend the festivities afterwords, along with any of the myriad locals who'd probably show up and expand the festival out into the town. As long as nobody did anything stupid, this would go off without a hitch.

If anyone did do something stupid thought, there'd still be security and a lot of semi-drunk and angry Marines. Harper almost pitied any troublemakers or bravos that Crytus brought along.

Key word, almost.
 
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Hello Bear redux (week 5)
Meet the Lieutenant
(Week 05)

I predict the weather, and I like my job. I really liked this deployment. I joined the corps to be a meteorologist, and instead of going to Afghanistan or Hawaii, I got to be the first person to do weather reports on a different planet. My mother said I'd never amount to anything.

My day was actually pretty quiet for once, with no field work or chasing birds and boots from my equipment with a broom. Instead I was just collecting some baseline measurements, and telling the Colonel I couldn't predict a goddamned thing accurately until I had a weather radar and more data to go off of. That meant today's forecast was, once again, upper fifties with a chance of rain just like it had been for the last two weeks and would continue for the next two weeks.

Of course, that's when some asshole officer in dress blues holding a seabag had to show up and ruin my day, and in retrospect my chances of peace and quiet here ever again. "Is this the geographic intelligence tent?" He said, after dropping his seabags and returning my salute.

"Yes, sir." I replied, feeling a sense of dread.

"Oh good. Lance Corporal Johnson I presume? If so, you work for me now, according to the Colonel, the General, and the assholes at GMD." He replied. "I'm Lieutenant Bear, NOAA Corps. Unfortunately for both of us, I'm now stuck getting all the baseline climate measurements and doing weather forecasting. Any questions?"

"Are you like actually an officer, or how is this going to work?" I said, confused by the exhausted officer shaped thing.

"Yes, but you're my first actual like subordinate ever, and I just got back from Antarctica yesterday, so I have no clue either." Lieutenant Bear replied. "I think I'll figure that out once I've had some sleep, and seen what we actually have to work with."

"You just got back from Antarctica?"

"A year at the south pole, a day on a plane, a day in Denver getting debriefed, and then here. It still counts as one day if you don't get to sleep for any of it." Lieutenant Bear replied sourly. "Now is there a goddamned chair I can crash in?"

I pointed him to a chair in the corner, and promptly got back to doing makework (because what else could I do,) even as I tried to ignore the snoring.

After I cooled off for a moment, I took a look at the lieutenant. He was pretty tall and wiry, with high cheekbones and severe features with dusky skin, looking like some Dances with Wolves extra shoved in dress blues. Throw in a feather or something on top and a decent haircut, he'd actually look good in it too. If I was into men, I might've been attracted to him. Instead he was a curiosity and an ongoing headache, so I went back to "work".

A couple hours and more cat videos than I could count later, and I guess I felt a bit guilty. So I nudged his chair enough to scoot it back an inch and spin it a few degrees. Needless to say, the lieutenant woke up pretty quickly.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Lieutenant Bear snapped.

"It seemed like the best way to wake you up sir." I replied. "You should probably get something to eat and your bunk before it gets too late. The town has just a little hyena problem."

"Hyena problem?"

"Hyena problem. There's a reason the HESCOES are covered in concertinia on top, and not because the engineers keep getting bored. It keeps most of them out, but they still get into the dump and the guards have shot some just outside the barracks. Either way, you don't want to be out at night without at least a flashlight." I replied as I patted the maglite hanging from my belt.

"The fuck kind of assignment did I get?"

"The kind that is considered fun by all the Marines." I replied. "It's also a different planet. This is the shit we put up with to get our names in the history books."

"God, and I thought the rez was rough."

"Sir, if I could ask, what tribe are you from anyway?"

"I'm Nakota, from around Billings." Lieutenant said with practiced disinterest. "Where are you from?"

"West Virginia, and not the good parts. Not like there were ever any good parts." I replied as I grabbed the bird broom. "Now go get something to eat. I've got to go chase shit off my weather station."

"Have fun with that."

When I saw the Lieutenant again, in our office the next morning, he was in some Coastie uniform and an Oscar Dyson command ball cap looking more than a little worse for wear. "My roommate has a pet leopard." Bear said in between sips of coffee. "It is very playful."

"Aww." I replied as I spun around in my chair. "Is it cute? I heard someone had adopted one of the kittens from the one that got shot on the wall last week, but that was about it."

"I didn't really notice that." Bear replied as he sat down. "I just found all thirty pounds of it on my chest in the middle of the night licking my face. So I panicked."

"Aren't you all supposed to be like super in touch with nature and all that?" I asked.

I got a dirty look in response. "It's not some elk I can shoot or an eagle going through my garbage, Lance Corporal." Lieutenant Bear said. "I'm not good with that sort of thing. Nobody is."

"Did you scare the kitty sir?"

"It scared me Lance Corporal." Lieutenant Bear replied. "Now then, how is the weather forecast coming along?"

"We don't have a radar, so I'm doing it by hand. This is a copy of the data set from the last two weeks, up to an hour ago, plus references from some temperate rainforests on Earth for additional references.." I said as I tossed a thumb drive at the Lieutenant, who caught it. "Either way, if it rains today, it'll probably be close to sunset since that's the norm for the dry season here according to the locals."

"Why don't we have a radar?" The lieutenant said testily as he turned on his laptop.

"We just set up camp here two weeks ago, and I put the order in last week." I replied as I turned back around. "The check probably hasn't even cleared yet."

"What did you order?" The lieutenant asked as he tapped his fingers on his desk.

"A bunch of those little Furuno WR-2100s. They're almost as good as what NWS has, but we can fit a couple on a truck." I said. "The Major and the Colonel signed off on it last week."

"That's good." Lieutenant Bear replied as he did something on his laptop. "There's too many mountains here for range to really matter anyway."

I shrugged. "Not sure about that, to be honest. If we get weather off the sea, having eyes on it before it makes landfall will be important."

"Point." Bear grunted, looking at the morass of data. Moments later, he sighed and shut the laptop. "So, since I apparently fell through the looking glass, what else do I need to know is an issue here?"

"Lots of nuisance wildlife." I groaned, pointing at my singed array of brooms and M-16 with the bayonet flash-welded to the barrel. "Salamanders that make fire, Laser Stoats that are like a fucking flashbang, goddamn gryphons, lots of ravens and other corvids, and about another dozen kinds of rodents that don't do anything except try and break our shit, before getting to the predators and big game out in the hills."

"Beautiful." was the response I got. Shooting him a look, he clarified. "Spent a lot of time in Alaska. I hunted big game for the pot."

"The locals oughta love you then." I grumped. "The gryphons are apparently a real menace to the herds, which is why you'll occasionally hear a fifty just going off randomly in the middle of the day."

Smug bastard just smirked.
 
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That Time Arwi Got Married (Week 06)
That Time Arwi Got Married.
(Week 06)

When I was a child my parents had decided for my safety to leave our old village. We had to avoid raiding by the lowlanders, and kept moving further up into the hills. To avoid discovery we didn't farm there, and it was nice for a time. Unfortunately, it wasn't far enough away from the lowlanders to be safe. They kept coming, and eventually we were caught. That was it, the end.

Where my father and brothers died fighting, and my mother sold elsewhere, I was taken and sold to a shepherd. I spun wool and wove until my fingers bled, and sheared more sheep than I could count, and was told to think myself lucky for being allowed to sleep with the ewes. A few years after that, I was traded to the owners of a mine. I cooked and cleaned, and fucked them just to eat. It was miserable, always locked in the house or outside, hauling their things around and taking care of the miners.

Compared to that, the palace in Metella was the nicest place I had lived, even after it turned into a whorehouse. I wasn't sleeping in a barn huddled up with the sheep or on a convenient bit of dirt floor near the fire, instead I was sleeping in an actual bed! I was still fucking men to survive like I had before, just for my new owner. Well, new new owner Not the old lord of the palace who had died in the fighting. No, now it was his chickenshit good for nothing brother who would get rich off this. On a good day he might possibly be gracious enough for me eat real food. I wasn't starving anymore, or spending my days on my knees weaving or tending a stove. Even if I was still spending my days on my knees, it was just a different kind of monotony. Everything blended together, if you did it for too long, and things just… faded to gray.

What made today memorable was that some particularly wealthy Marine had come in to the palace. He was pretty tall and heavily built, if not unusually so for his kind, and had the same sort of straw blonde hair I did that marked someone as Arawas or Yrcen-blooded like me. Doubted he was son of a catfucker, though- they didn't have any of us over there, I presumed. There was always this little shock when they saw us, even the ones like me without ears, tails, or fur. I was lounging on a cushion looking seductive and utterly failing, since it was pretty early in the day and nobody came in before sundown normally. I had been chatting with one of the other girls to pass the time, going over the old discussion of 'how much food could you swipe when nobody was looking'.

Perking up a little bit, I made some eyes at the guy so I could maybe get out of the conversation, which had stopped being worth it when the topic of customers entered. Had to work to eat, and I was already too thin and bony to be attractive, even if the Marines seemed to like me.

It paid off because the Marine pointed at me, and started talking to our pimp. "How much?" He tried to say in Meledli. Saying he was trying was generous- it sounded more like "for what?" and had this choking sound, almost like someone giving an Yrcen a roast pheasant bone. I used to get my aunt with that all the time, back when I had a real home. Now I just had to play tricks on the sow by putting vinegar on her sweets.

Our pimp, trying to think through Marine hand numbers ,which for some reason didn't work like real numbers, held up two fingers for two short strings. I guess the slimy bastard was trying to cheat him, since our going rate was only one short string, but the Marine shrugged. With an "Okay," and a shoulder pull thing, the Marine pulled two massive sashes from out of his bag and dropped them in the pimp's lap. I wasn't quite sure how much the guy thought a go was actually worth, but that was a fortune even for Metella. There must have been eight long strings a sash, and two of them? I wasn't sure there were that many beads in the village ever before!

I was up and showing our newest and wealthiest customer to a room before my owner could really comprehend anything.

"What's your name?" I asked the blonde in his tongue as I sat him down on the bed in one of the rooms and undressed. It took him a minute to work through my accent, but I didn't mind. A little more time to get him riled up and wanting to come back wasn't a bad thing.

"Edgar." He replied nervously as his blue eyes darted between my eyes and my breasts.

"I'm Arwi." I said in American. Horrible language, all odd slurs and hissing. "I'm going to make you very happy Ed-gar" I continued in Meledli, stumbling over his name a bit. I ran a finger down his chest to drive the point home. He didn't understand what I said, but he certainly got the intent: me woman, you man. Wasn't the first time I had to screw some sap who didn't understand how to talk to me. As long as they didn't think hitting was a good way to get the point across, it wasn't better or worse than the talking ones.

Around sunset, he finally had enough and left. Say what you will about them, but everyone heard the little thunder when they fought and they certainly could fuck, even if I had to lead this one the entire godsdammned time. Wasn't like he could break me… probably. I tidied up a bit before going in the back to wash up and get dressed before the rush happened, and headed out front.

"What are you still doing here?" My owner said in that sort of yelling whisper you'd do when you don't want to draw attention.

"I cleaned up." I said nervously. "I'm going to do what I normally do, because I like not having bruises? Did I do something wrong?"

"Go find that guy before he thinks I cheated him." My owner replied as he put his head in his hands. "He paid me more than what all you are worth, and I'd rather not be beaten bloody when his liege finds out, so you're his now. Hurry up, go!"

"Alright." I said, as I tried to grapple with the fact that I had accidentally been bought by someone, "Where are the Marines staying?"

"That new camp outside the city walls. It's uphill and you can't miss it." He said as he pushed me towards the door. "Just ask one of them if you can't find it."

"It's close to sunset already." I replied. " Let me at least stay the night, and I'll go in the morning when it's safe."

"Fine," My former owner said, "just stay in the back, and don't try and steal anything."

Having grabbed a second dress and a light snack, I left around dawn the next day, and found that it was pretty hard to miss. It was visible through the woods being the largest settlement I had ever seen, and was much larger than Metella.

At one of the gates, I waved at a Marine for attention. "Could you tell me where the Marine named Edgar is?" I shouted in Meledli.

He waved back, but didn't really understand me. He shouted something in American, and I didn't quite understand it. Something come here, find Edgar. So I went towards him.

Trying to hash out an understanding was difficult because the Marines didn't speak much Meledli, and my english was garbage outside the bedroom. I eventually got across that I was looking for someone who was blonde haired, blue eyed, yea tall, named Edgar, and that yes it was really urgent. Once I had done the mandatory loud noises and arm waving bits, they showed me to a nice seat, and gave me something to drink. It was some sort of fizzy thing, and it just tasted bitter and caustic. I decided then to avoid anything in red cans for the time being. Give me a beer any day.

It took till midday to find Edgar. In the meantime, I was moved to a different building and fed something fairly bland with a meat I couldn't identify. Lots of white goop with butter, which was nice and starchy though. I got to speak to some nice Marines for a bit, and I think I picked up a decent amount of American. "That fucking moron" would be something useful I felt, considering how often they used it. I had yet to figure out how sex came into Edgar's apparent mistake, though; maybe they were supposed to be more active in bed?

Edgar was surprised when he saw me, and even more surprised when I prostrated myself on the floor and started apologizing profusely. The looks he got from the other people with him, who were possibly his superiors, were suspicious and not approving. I hoped it wasn't because of what I was. Not many people approved of girls like me, considering I had golden eyes, and slightly-too-long fang-teeth. They always thought I'd start eating raw meat and stealing their livestock too. Not like I wouldn't if I could get the chance, but if I was I'd need to do it so I wouldn't get caught. Getting caught would be bad.

Anyway, with Edgar was someone who spoke some Meledli, so I was able to actually communicate with my new owner, and what turned out to be some noble or something. "I'm Edgar's." I said to all three of them, "He bought me last night from the brothel. Or that's what my old owner decided since he didn't want to be beaten for overcharging a Marine."

The man in charge turned to look at Edgar, after hearing the very rough translation. "How much did you pay?" He asked.

"Two wampum." Edgar huffed as he crossed his chest. "It's what he asked for."

"He asked two short string." I said in American, "You paid too damn much."

"Lance Corporal, you accidentally bought a person." The man in charge said as he sized me up. "Fix this shit before gunny or I have to. Free her, marry her, whatever you do I want it done now, so when I do tell the Colonel this is all tied up in a nice little bow and nobody here is gets a court martial."

I panicked, and grabbed onto my owner as I looked up at him. "I can cook, I can clean, and I can fuck. I'll do anything, just don't cast me out!" I said in Meledli, before switching to American. "You keep me Edgar. I make you happy. Make you never go back town again!"

"Well, fuck. Guess I'm getting married then." Edgar said to his superior, " Sir, if I hand you my phone, could you take a few pictures so my mother won't kill me when she finds out?"

"Lance Corporal, get the RP to do that shit, and don't fucking post them anywhere." The man in charge said, while the translator started staring intently at a little tablet in his hand. "I have to go tell the General that the brothel isn't just war-widows."

With orders apparently in hand my owner went walking off somewhere else, and I followed. The camp was bustling, and I saw a bunch of different kinds of people I had never seen before, as well as some really heavy looking carts. We finally went inside a tent, and he spoke to a scribe in there behind a desk.

"What the fuck did you do?" The scribe said as he looked at me.

"I overpaid at the brothel in town and now I own her." Edgar said as he placed an arm around me. "So I need to get married."

The scribe put his head in his hands and spoke. "The padre is in back. I'll go get him, and see if he'll do it." He said, before standing up. "While I'm gone, try to explain to the poor girl what the fuck 'married' means."

I tried to guess at it from context, but I didn't really have much to go off of. So I just stared at my owner until the scribe left, waiting for him to speak. "You wife, me husband, sleep together long time. Have children." He said, while making some really awkward hand gestures to try and explain the point which I mostly got. I was still walking funny from last night- did he expect me to forget how?

"Married is good." I replied with a smile as I pointed at myself. "Get big, give many children."

To the hells with trying to make myself understood in this damn language. Fucker could learn a real way of speech, if he seemed as pressed about this as I thought he was.

Needless to say, when the scribe came back with a priest, I was ready to be married whatever the hell that actually meant. Edgar wasn't nearly as prepared for whatever this entailed, but I don't think I've ever seen a man who was ready to take a dump, nevermind do anything important. I got to find out my husband could read when he worked with the scribe to fill a form out.

The scribe mounted a box on a tripod and aimed it at us while the Priest arranged everything. So with the two of us facing each other, and the Priest off on my right, the ritual began. No incense, no offerings, no fuck-altar, just barebones whatever the fuck this was.

"Okay, let's make this quick. The game is on in ten." The priest said, as he pulled a book out and cleared his throat. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Lance Corporal Edgar Johnson and Arwi no last name given in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly, despite the circumstances of their meeting and the timing of their union."

The Scribe barely held back laughter there, while my Husband just choked a bit. I knew I missed something good.

"Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The Priest continued, before pausing for a second. "Nobody has, so moving on."

I had a feeling this wasn't how this sort of thing was supposed to go. What kind of shoddy ritual was this? Did he just not give a fuck because of what I was or something?
"Do you Lance Corporal Edgar Johnson, take Arwi no last name given to be your wife, to support her in sickness and health until death do you part?" The priest said, as he looked at my Husband.

"I do." My Husband said.

"Do you Arwi no last name given take Lance Corporal Edgar Johnson to be your husband, to support him in sickness and health until death do you part?" The priest said, as he looked at me.

I just stared blankly. Was I supposed to say the same thing, or something else or what?

"Just say 'I do' already." The scribe said irately after a few minutes.

"I do?" I said, to everyone else's relief.

"Great." The Priest said, "By the powers vested in me by the United States Navy, I hereby declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

And so my husband did. On the lips. For a while. It was nice, until his tongue hit a fang, and then it kinda hit him what he had actually married. He panicked a little bit, but I held fast and kept going until he had to come up for air.

"And that's a wrap!" The scribe said.

"Great." The Priest said, as he walked back to whence he had came. "Now get the fuck out unless you're going to watch the game. It's Steelers versus Browns, so if you want to watch Cleveland get their ass pounded square then stay. Otherwise, go find a nice bush inside the wire or some shit. You're married, you can do that now. Preferably a bush that's not near here, or my tent."

My new husband nodded, and started heading out. I followed him, wondering what my options for a home were. It was probably a tent if I wasn't lucky, or maybe one of their strange houses if I was. Maybe it would even have a comfy bed?

No. Just my fucking luck, it was a tent. The bed sucked too. But I've had worse, and my husband keeps it nice and warm.
 
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Index by Author/Subject Characters
Est es... Sciencia! (Week 12)
A uniformed man and three of his lackeys slowly filtered into the room. "... not now, Major whatever-you're-called" I grumbled, scrawling on my board.


The Major was surprised enough to break stride "I said not now, I'm in the middle of something". I continued, mapping out the weak force interactions in radioactive decay.


"How did you…" he began, before I cut him off.


"Know it was you without looking? I could hear you coming from down the halls. They echo like mad."


"And you knew who we were, to the rank, from that?"


"No," I replied as I turned to face him and his underlings, "I knew you were military because you walk like you march. Not even the marching band kids high-step like that- they roll-step everywhere. Remove all other options, the remainder is the truth, or at least a good estimate. "


"So how'd you know I'm a . . ." the major began again.


"Major? Lucky guess, considering the number of minions and the fact finding someone with clearances and under O-4 is enough of a challenge. Thanks for confirming for me, by the way. What do you need me to do this time?"


Two of what I dearly hoped were Air Force started stepped forward before the major began again,


"I need you to come with me, posthaste."


"Now now, Major whomever you are, what is all the hustle? You know I haven't worked on anything moderately important for years- I got out of the RAM game back in '97."


The men I now identified as Marines (damn it) walked over and started to frog-march me out the doors of the lecture hall we were in toward an unmarked white van that reeked of tax money. I hesitated to step inside, not like it was going to stop me. Cloak and dagger was such a waste of time…


"This isn't an arrest, but it can if you need it to be," the officer said, letting the implications hang.


"Major," I say, thinking back to my incomplete problems, "You are going to let me at least grab my things, right?"


"Transportation for your things will be arranged. You're going to have to do withou…" A phone rang, cutting him off.


He immediately turned and shut up, his lips pursed and made a white line on his face. Was that fear or disappointment? Marines aren't known for their ability to emote.


Major Whatshisname looked down at the phone, said in barely a whisper "it's for you," and handed me the handset. It seemed a bit different from the standard issue GSM phones carried by the Marines, and it was ringing to wake the dead. The screen displayed a contact named 'Have Samuel Answer the Fucking Phone.' "Nice touch" I mumbled while hitting the answer button.


"Hello?" Carter gruffly answered. My 'favorite' government contact. That really isn't saying much though, when you consider that having a conversation with most of these people was like a Pasty in an copper mine, dry as hell. With this one, it was like having a shot glass of water within twenty feet of you well, eating a Pasty freshly plucked from a copper mine- dry as hell, but now with extra radishes. After he went through the usual obscure questions and codewords to make sure it was me, we got to the fun stuff.


"Are you actually telling me that you ripped a fucking hole in reality?"


"Professor, you should know by now we don't just rip holes in reality ourselves. That's what we've had you for." Slick.


"Do you thick-skulled imbeciles know how bad that this is? This is supermassive black hole level. For those with limited cognitive abilities, like you, this might be difficult to understand. We are talking about something that SWALLOWS UNIVERSES. It crushes them into nice and neat tiny little balls that are smaller than your aptitude for common sense. The only reason I can still yell at you for this is because, somehow someway, your scientists somehow managed to not bungle it up and kill all of us."


"Professor, this wasn't us. As far as we've determined, this was naturally occuring."


"Who's we; your department, or one of the ones the public knows about? " I asked accusingly.


"We, as in no one in the U.S. government."


I looked at Major Whatshisname and the other Marines who waited with barely concealed boredom. The truth in the matter was probably also just as thinly hidden.


"You're expecting me to believe, that a portal to a different reality just showed up one day, and no one had a hand in it?" came the sarcastic reply.


"Yup. In the middle of one of our compounds as well."


"Really?"


"Yes."


"I don't believe you"


Carter countered sarcastically, just like he always did. "Your job isn't to believe me, your job is to study what the hell we've been finding on the other side."


"You went through it?" I said incredulously, "and it didn't immediately kill everyone? Interesting."


"You don't seem very concerned at that."


"If it hasn't already killed us, it probably won't. Probably. I think. When we start talking mathematics at this magnitude physics gets fuzzy. You know how the speed of light and relativity screws everything up? Same basic principals."


The car stopped at an airport, and I got thrown out the back and shoved into a cargo plane. And then that landed at an airport and I was thrown on some sort of armored truck, which then in turn passed me off to another vehicle with slightly better suspension. After several more bouts of transportation with planes, trains, and automobiles I feel routed most of the country, we arrived in rural North Carolina. I know; I was shocked to find that it existed too. As soon as I got out of the car, Major Whatshisname handed me off to some guys. They then proceeded to unceremoniously toss me into a different car that was louder, smellier, and ran like a humvee driven by Marines- that is, they hit every pothole and played the stereo too loud to hear anything over the drums, or were those thumps the suspension? it was driven by muscle-bound numbskulls whos solutions to problems usually involve a shitload of bullets, and maybe a boot knife, duct tape too on a good day. If only they had sent some Air Force…


"How many handoffs do you need to do before you realize we haven't been followed?" I tried, yelling over the noise


"... With all do respect professor, shut the fuck up. This is a good song." one of them shouted back.


Well they are marines, I thought to myself, it's not like they enjoy AC much with all that batshit crazy indoctrination they go through. Better to let them enjoy their metal now. They probably didn't know anything anyways, and if they did I wouldn't be able to hear them until we got out. It was simply easier to wait.


After what was definitely an hour of bumpy back roads they let out of the car. Standing in front of me was a brick wall imitating the human being that was supposed to greet me here. From what was presumably a mouth came the words "Follow me", his voice sounding like someone trying to sandblast refined titanium. I lamentably had had experience with this area due to some poor undergrads I knew who worked in the engineering building. The Man was large, really large, as in 'holy shit what fertilizer did they feed you' large. He honestly could have benched the humvee I came in on. Seeing as he was a Marine, he probably did, a few times a day. I started following the slab of moving terrain that was this man.


"And you are?" I asked, Newton's Laws running through my head quickly. Force is mass times acceleration- so if this particular brick wall fell on me the cleaning crew would be picking me off the ground for weeks.


"Moescher, Corporal Moescher." I looked around, seeing semi-familiar looking territory.


"And where are we going?"


"Metella."


"Which is..?"
 
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Timmy Goes Exploring (Week 8)
Groaning, Timothy rolled over. In the process of doing so, his face found a mud puddle, his knees caught a rock, and his but landed on a bent stick.

"Whatinthe-" he growled, pushing himself upright to glare helplessly out into the world. A few feet away, Pellas had the gall to chuckle.

"Morning, LT." the staff sergeant said, shaking a canteen happily. "So, how'd your beauty sleep go?"

"Mrghblghehphbt." Timmy articulated clearly. Rubbing his head and swishing the water out of his hair, he crawled out of his sleeping bag and rolled it up derisively. "So, what do we have left in the MRE pile?"

"Lots of omlettes." Pellas said, shrugging. "Couple of ranger bars, some beef burritos."

"Great." Timmy groaned, loading up his backpack and moving into the center of camp. Grabbing the omlette pack, he put it over the small campfire they'd built for breakfast and a cup of instant coffee. "How are the survey teams doing?"

"Not sure yet." Pellas replied frankly, stretching out and popping his back. Watching the group, he glared at one of sleeping soldiers. "If you go and ask, I'll make sure we're all packed up for the hike on out."

"Alright." Timmy replied. Cracking his neck, he stepped over to the small tent that was serving as the surveyor's quarters. Knocking on the tent's roof pole, he waited until they let him in.

The inside of the tent was dark, and the only thing that lit it was a couple of blue screens and a grumpy lanterns. Inside, the handful of lance corporals fiddled around, hot pocket wrappers scattered around. The sergeant, ignorant of his surroundings from trying to divine the results of a splotchy diagram, squinted, peering into the screen until he found the detail he was looking for, before he compared it to the other screens and started growling. Seconds later, he finally snapped, standing up and kicking his log chair over.

"MOTHERFUCKINGDRONERETARDIMITATIONCHAIR-FARCEDESKJOCKEYIMPERSONATORSCAN'TFUCKINGFINDBOTHTHEIRREFERENCEPOINTSINACLOSEDLUNCHBOXWITHBOTHHANDSANDAGPSEXCEPTWEDON'THAVEFUCKINGGPSANDTHEIRLANDMARKSARENOTREALLANDMARKSSERIOUSLYWHOTHEFUCKWANTSTOCALLALARGETREEALANDMARKTREESARENOTLANDMARKSANDTHESERIVERSDON'TFUCKINGWORKALLTHETIMEMATISFUCKTHISMOTHERFUCKINGMORONS!" he screamed, barely holding in the urge to flip the table.

"Good morning, Sergant Niels." Timmy said calmly, nibbling his omelette. He could handle moments of temper like that without too much shock now, considering the absolute disaster that most of the building surveyors were. The cartography teams with Sergeant Niels, he of much swearing and many coffees, were much better at fieldcraft. This in turn meant less of his guys carrying them around, earning them a lot more slack "How bad is it going?"

"Fucking terrible. Sir." Niels replied, waving a hand dramatically at the three daisy-chained laptops and the data coming in off them. "You remember the Scan Eagle surveys they did to get a rough terrain search?"

"We weren't on patrol that week, so we were mostly asleep." Timmy replies, squinting at the maps. "Are these the maps they made?"

"Yeah, well, they dun goofed." Niels growled, waving a hand. "See, the Scan Eagles were all set up for work in the rockbox, and the morons flying them never bothered to reset the systems. A synthetic aperture radar is great and all, but one set to scan a mountain slope from fifty feet up is very different from one to scan a forest that's got really funky soil and a lot of small rolling hills. Half these maps have rain interference, most of them have these really shitty areas where we think groundwater was fucking up the readings, and there's just these swarming messes of we don't fucking know everywhere."

"That's bad." Timmy said, nodding sagely. One of the first things a junior officer learned how to do was to parrot back rough summaries when they didn't get everything. "We might as well not have a map at this rate."

"Pretty much." Niels grumped. Timmy just shrugged. Not like he'd been using the fuzzy false-color radar plots anyway. After three patrols marking the shit out of the temperate rainforest, he knew his guys had learned how to do this sort of thing just fine, with or without help. The second thing a junior officer learned was that he could do whatever his men could, even when he himself couldn't quite read all the trail signs yet.

CAAAAAAAAWWWWWREEEEECCCHHHH!

Wincing, Niels ducked below a table, while Timmy just sighed. "Gryphons." the lieutenant muttered. "It's always fucking gryphons."

"Christ!"

"He can't hear you." Timmy said, shaking his head. "Because if you think that's bad, you haven't seen a laser stoat infestation."

"Laser… stoats…?" Niels asked.

"Yeah, you'll see 'em in a few days. Most places have traps around them, and we're gonna be leaving the most civilized bits not to long from now."

Niels frowned. "Alright… sir. Anything else?"

Lieutenant Walker shrugged, and looked around the tent. "Yeah, so you're about done with this area, right?"

"Thereabouts, yeah. No real detail work, but more than enough to get a real map out- with the trail someone blazed last time even."

"Good." Timmy said, yawning as he made to leave the tent. "We're gonna be moving up fifteen-ish miles today, so get your gear packed and ready to go."

"Alright, sir." Niels said, ending the conversation.


----

Several hours later, Pellas groaned theatrically from his position in the front of the column. They'd been on this rough patrol route before, and this was the end of their explored area from last time. More importantly, their previous campsite was under about four inches of standing water; the area had somehow turned into a water meadow when they weren't looking.

"Alright, who put the plug in the swamp!" Pellas yelled out grumpily.

"Not me!" yelled Sergeant Crusoe, grinning madly. "Want us to find the plug?"

"Lieutenant?" Pellas yelled back. Time to see if the officer had a good idea. Sure, the odds weren't in favor, but it was worth checking.

"I'm thinking break out into squads and find someplace that isn't under water." Timmy thought out loud. "Maintain line of sight, radio check in every ten minutes with every squad on a two minute interval, if we don't find something in the next… hour and a half? That about right? Anyway, if we don't find something then we backtrack to a fork and just set up a light camp there, find a better one later."

Pellas slowly turned around, along with Crusoe, Sampson, and Harper. More than a few of the corporals had to look at Lieutenant Walker too. That was a good idea. A good idea coming from a lieutenant. That was slightly less likely to happen than a portal opening to some foreign world where there were catgirls and gryphons and it rained every goddamn day- oh wait. That happened.

"Well fuck." Crusoe muttered. "Looks like the LT is growing up."

"I heard that!" Timmy yelled over. "Just start looking for somewhere to sleep!"

The group dispersed carefully, most of the soldiers griping about the water. Sighing, Timmy just kept an eye on his radio.

"I give it an hour before something goes terribly wrong." Timmy muttered to Niels, who's cartographers were stuck with the miniscule "headquarters" consisting of Timmy, Pellas, and a messenger who doubled as a spare rifle.

"How much?" Niels asked, morbidly curious.

"Two short string sound reasonable?" Timmy asked, grinning.

"Short string?"

"Wampum, basically. Strings of beads. Not everyone in the village takes cash. Two short string's about enough for a dinner and a few beers."

Niels chuckled. "Deal."

---

Fifty four minutes later, Lieutenant Timothy Walker's smile had progressed from a smirk to a full shit-eating grin as Niels started quietly cussing.

"Squad two to Headquarters, we've got a situation. We've found… well, it's a fucking villiage, over."

Groaning, Pellas answered the radio. "Headquarters to Squad two, thanks for the information, over. Are they hostile?"

"No, Headquarters. They're, well, um, snakes."

A crow in the distance cawed.

"Read back, squad two?"

"They're fucking snake people, Headquarters. Like… waist-ish down. Also our two guys who kinda speak the language can't get through their accent, at all. Unless you can tell me what 'horass-melka' is, I think we're stuck."

Rolling his eyes, Timmy moved in. "This is Headquarters; they're basically saying get off my lawn I think."

"We got a problem then, because their lawn is where the dry ground is."

"We'll come to you." Timmy said, grinning. "Any swampy bits?"

"Yeah, there's a few deep channels, they're about a foot deep. Should take a half hour if you follow the trail sign."

"We'll be on our way directly." Timmy replied, grinning. "Headquarters out."

Checking his compass, Pellas groaned. "Whelp. We're gonna need to go thisaway."

---

Looking over the small village in the setting sun, Timmy had to whistle. Those were, in fact, snake people. Now, as much of a Massive Scientific Discovery as this was, this was a distinct problem. Most of the villages the Marines had found had been mostly peaceable, and a little trading had been gone over when a few of the strangers interacted.

This didn't help sooth Pellas' grumpy NCO soul. Timmy (it was nearly impossible to call him Lieutenant with a straight face when he wasn't in front of you) had been talking to one of the snake-people, trying to negotiate a place for them to bed down. There was only one issue- neither of the two groups were terribly fluent in Anatelean. Timmy might have been learning it quickly, but his knowledge was limited to shooting the shit in bars and maybe picking up a girl for the night. The snake-people, or lamia as some of the men were calling them, had a similar issue in that this was far from their native language.

It was about that time that a scream echoed out from the sky, and a shrieking whistle was heard.

"GRYPHON!" Timothy yelled, before dragging his gun up to start shooting. As the formerly mythical beast came swooping down it's diving attack run, a few of the other Marines nearby started hosing it down with bullets too. The beast screamed in pain, attempting to abort it's attack run, limping away dripping blood from its wings. Rushing forward, Pellas noted dimly the blood trail started only a few feet away from a female of the lamia, and proceeded into the woods.

So how had Lieutenant Timmy noticed it so quickly?

Pellas' head swiveled over to his nominal boss slowly, where he was trying to pick up the negotiations again, this time from a far stronger position. Soon, they were being escorted to a section of cleared and dry land on the far side of town, while Lieutenant Timothy was trading parts of one of his MREs to the locals for fresh bread. Shaking his head, Pellas just went to go find a place to set up his sleeping bag. He could worry about Timothy's newfound danger sense later, when they got back home. Now it was just enough to know he was starting to grow out of being a boot, and into something properly officer-shaped.
 
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