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Artemis Fowl: The Movie

Would you watch this?

  • Total voters
    156
Wheel of time said:
Blah
Its just meh, feels very generic and well not really anything of note.
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It's sort of how children's fantasy films in the 70s-90s fell into a gheto of dressed up gymnastics stages and life sized muppet monsters. Those were the effects that were available and for the first movies that pioneered them they were effective.

Over time they became the only real game in town for that sort of movie.

There's a visual language and set of tropes that have become ossified and make for fairly boring visual story telling if they aren't applied thoughtfully. Ironically, due in large part to Harry Potter.

* Like this is already looking like a Wrinkle in Time to me. Or Miss Peregrin's Home for Peculiar Children.

I'd say Percy Jackson . . . But those had a way campier look and feel to them.
 
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Mreh.

It kinda feels like to me that Holly's arc of being the first awesome woman on a special police squad was kinda more relevant... you know, nearly twenty years ago.

Now it feels as if the times have long overtaken the story, and a movie adapting it seems a bit... well, late.
 
The fairy society is literally alien to us. There's a huge theme of them being more conservative in general and being really slow to progress socially, as opposed to scientifically. A theme that I would argue is possibly more relevant now.

Also...

Artemis the absolutely unflappable, even when being flapped would be, yknow, probably a good idea: is here shown being flapped.
Butler the professional who actively puts the health and safety and life of his charge above his own as a matter of professional conduct and friendship: is here shown gawking at the strange thing instead of getting between the potential threat and his charge.
Offscreen: the fairy who preaches secrecy and how humanity can never learn of the fairy world and admits it's pretty much close to the highest order of treason available to be sharing her magic book with them: is in this scene shown to... well, make a show out of youth-ifying herself.

So, all in all, book innacuracies ignored... are they even reading their own script?
 
WhoAmEye said:
According to the casting:
Artemis is a young boy who has fun no matter what he's doing and enjoys life to the fullest
Gruff Cigar Police Chief Julius is now Juliana
According to the trailer:
big flashy showy thing of fairy revitalization
butler using a fucking bow
artemis using a fucking gun

what i have learned from this:
Artemis' entire character appeal of being a complete sociopath who doesn't know how to be a young child has been thrown out the window
Butler's love of the Sig Sauer appears to have been replaced with a magic bow thing???
Holly's major character arc of being he first female on the force and the amount of pressure on her because of that and the prejudice has been thrown out the window
The revitalization fairy's... i dunno, I'm guessing she was narrating, but so much for the secrecy amirite?
Artemis' whole shtick of being the brains and Butler being the brawn appears to have been thrown out the window. The kid literally doesn't even dodge shit until Butler pulls him out of the way most of the time.

I mean... casting call...


Like... the character arcs and personality traits were hugely important to the plot. I can't see a warm-hearted Artemis kidnapping, drugging, and holding Holly to ransom at all. Most of Holly's character is her drive to be the best to prove all the prejediced assholes wrong and show that hey, women can be cops too. But now that the chief is a woman, is she going to be a Holly In Name Only replaced with some rebellious hotshot?

In short, I'm... not actually sure anyone involved in this actually read the books. Because they seem to be doing their damned hardest to make the opposite of them.

edit: and weren't the wings actually some kind of jetpack???
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This is like stabbing yourself and thinking that if you twist hard enough all your pain will turn into magic gold and you will surrounded by a rain of bitches while the heavens sing your praises and somehow the stabbing has turned into giving you superhuman power.
If you think this is total nonsense what I just wrote, such random batshit crazy is the only thing to compare this to.
Do they expect to make money from this?
What is the point of this?
Other then the stabbing, which they are doing a lot of.
 
One wonders WHY at this point. I mean, it's been years since any new books were out for it and the fans have moved on. Are they releasing it after the development hell in the hopes of recouping some of their investment? 0_o
 
I'm wondering about the change in character skin tones, personally. Did they swap Butler from Eurasian to Black American due to it being produced in Hollywood for US fans?
 
CornyBones said:
Biggest "oof" for me during the trailer was Butler and Artemis' reaction to the magic of the Old-Fairy. It felt generic, especially with who I know both these people to be. Artemis using the gun, and Butler using the bow are....ehhh~ not sold yet.
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WhoAmEye said:
butler using a fucking bow
artemis using a fucking gun

Butler's love of the Sig Sauer appears to have been replaced with a magic bow thing???
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My only guess is that Disney isn't super hot about protagonists with guns under the main line Disney brand. Well, contemporary guns, as opposed to black powder, blasters, or laser guns.

Unfortunately, this may also be the motive behind sanitizing Artemis and Butler. Disney might be willing to depict a villain protagonist who has a change of heart and becomes good by the end. But Artemis wasn't exactly a 'good guy' by the end of the first book.

Rather. He was a kidnapper who, while not getting exactly what he wanted, did get something and escaped punishment for his crimes.

But yeah, agreed. I could accept the casting choices a lot more readily if they remained true to character's personalities. After all, Butler being Slavic in particular is probably the least important thing about him.
 
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WhoAmEye said:
Unsurprisingly it took another six or so books before the rather reasonable and acceptably paced character development made him a good guy. Or less bond villain, anyways.
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TBF, six books is pretty glacial. A trilogy should have gotten him to, at least, not actively villainous. :p
 
If that'd been his goal, maybe, which it... kinda wasn't. He was a through and through villain, he didn't have a desire to become the good guy, he had to be eased into it and the whole inception thing of making him think it's his idea to become a good guy before he started making his own headway into it.

And I guess there was also that one time he got mindwiped right after the third or fourth book, basically resetting the progress.
 
WhoAmEye said:
And I guess there was also that one time he got mindwiped right after the third or fourth book, basically resetting the progress
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The ending of Book 3 basically reset his character development, yes.

I would have been more excited about this... about a decade ago. Six years ago, even, when the last book came out.

Now, though? I've forgotten most of the series and there's close to a decade of cultural entertainment that's fresher in my mind. And the changes from the book don't sound promising.
 
WhoAmEye said:
Butler the professional who actively puts the health and safety and life of his charge above his own as a matter of professional conduct and friendship: is here shown gawking at the strange thing instead of getting between the potential threat and his charge.
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For god's sake if they have to make the slab of muscle who's ancestors have been fanatically loyal to a white family for generations black, at least make him a highly competent slab of muscle fanatically loyal to a white family for generations black man.
 
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Yeah, this is definitely not a James Bond scenario. I honestly think a lot's lost by changing Butler from, y'know, Butler to generic black action hero.

sidenote: when I first read those books I loved them so much I didn't stop to wonder why I accepted the butler/bodyguard literally being named Butler.

I mean, if we're sticking with "family that has served rich white people for generations" that takes on a whole new undertone, and if not you're taking away the foundation of the character and sort of leaving him free-floating.

Also yeah, Disney's dislike of guns is disappointing when his SIG love always seemed so hilariously out of place while literally fighting magic creatures. In general I feel they've really sorta lost some of the appeal of the book, going for a lot of the standard Hollywood "whoa, magic" instead of the clinical (and successful) Artemis Fowl.
 
natruska said:
Yeah, this is definitely not a James Bond scenario. I honestly think a lot's lost by changing Butler from, y'know, Butler to generic black action hero.

sidenote: when I first read those books I loved them so much I didn't stop to wonder why I accepted the butler/bodyguard literally being named Butler.

I mean, if we're sticking with "family that has served rich white people for generations" that takes on a whole new undertone, and if not you're taking away the foundation of the character and sort of leaving him free-floating.

Also yeah, Disney's dislike of guns is disappointing when his SIG love always seemed so hilariously out of place while literally fighting magic creatures. In general I feel they've really sorta lost some of the appeal of the book, going for a lot of the standard Hollywood "whoa, magic" instead of the clinical (and successful) Artemis Fowl.
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Tbh i always visualized Butler as looking identical to Agent 47.
 
Triggerhappy said:
The only thing really giving me that vibe was the kid wearing sunglasses.
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Eh, just the feel of the teaser to me...
Triggerhappy said:
And wasn't that actually a thing to help counteract the Fairy glamours?
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Yes, though it was mirrored sunglasses.
skaianDestiny said:
Ah, Disney, striking while the iron is ice cold and also with a squeaky toy.
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Well... besides re-releasing the books with new covers and such, Eoin is also releasing two new books about Artemis' brothers:

Eoin Colfer signs Artemis Fowl spin-off series deal
Colfer's new novels, The Fowl Twins and an as yet untitled sequel, will focus on Artemis's younger brothers, Myles and Beckett, who, after being left alone for just one night, end up having to save a troll from a nefarious nobleman and an interrogating nun – each of whom need the magical creature for their own gain.
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Harry Leferts said:
So, yeah, the actual casting advert for Artemis...

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The highlighted bit is a blatant lie! At least in the first book, which they seem to be adapting. Even in later books the guy wasn't really what one could call friendly, and didn't really interact with peers too well... or just people in the same age group.
 
Mizu said:
The highlighted bit is a blatant lie! At least in the first book, which they seem to be adapting. Even in later books the guy wasn't really what one could call friendly, and didn't really interact with peers too well... or just people in the same age group.
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Which is why I got a really bad feeling about this and why some people have already started comparing it to Agent Cody Banks...
 
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