An Oni between Worlds (Kasen Quest, Touhou/???)

[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Destroy the fake

It doesn't deserve existence.
 
Kind of rough around the edges. You are new to writing, yes?


How to say it...

Perhaps unpracticed would be a better word?

I have, in my opinion, written better before but I don't write too often, and skill suffers entropy with disuse. Also don't quite seem to be in the groove of writing that I normally am when I attempt to write things. But if I wait for moments where I feel at my best there would be months between anything getting done :p

Though it is only one chapter I've written Without a Beacon to Guide Them A piece of RWBY fanfiction, as well as a few chapters of a story (what you are in the Dark) based on the Accidental magical girl CYOA, though I wrote it in NSFW section of QQ so I won't link (mainly because I meant for darker themes not because I intended anything sexual). I think both of those were better written? Not by any means phenomenal but I hope that improvements will come with practice.

Problem is that lack of comments kills my motivation when I write things so despite getting favourites and follows on fanfiction.net the lack of a reviews made it so that despite the fact that I have had the second chapter nearly done I can never bring myself to finish it, and I similarly can't finish What you Are in the Dark when the last chapter lacked comments.

It is a bit messed up but I just can't push myself forward.

Which is precisely why I choose to do a quest this time around. Hoping to get back in the Groove of writing and if people don't comment on a quest, it naturally cannot progress, and at least I'd know for sure that it is because of a lack of interest rather than the readers just deciding to not comment on the current chapter.

Well... the arm was used as a basis to summon her, wasn't it? So there's something going on with it, or was.

Also, F/SN stuff? Sasaki's sword and the Killing Stone too probably. Or at least name dropping it. If the arm was strong enough to use as a reagent to summon us then the others might have some traces at least still in them.

Ironically, despite the fact that I choose Sasaki's sword and the killing stone because of the Fate series, I completely didn't make the connection with how Kasen being summoned via reagent was similar to how servants are summoned XD.
 
Last edited:
Ironically, despite the fact that I choose Sasaki's sword and the killing stone because of the Fate series, I completely didn't make the connection with how Kasen being summoned via reagent was similar to how servants are summoned XD.
... Would Nanoha have happened to watch the F/SN anime at some point as well? I remember Mizuki's old quest where the MC's powers were based off of an unholy combo of Eva and WH40K psykers. Nanoha was a huge fan of Eva in it, and the MCs angel form was Zeruel. It got Loud a couple times, but was a lot of fun too.
 
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Put it back in the box. No one will be the wiser. Might need to explain to Nanoha that it wasn't your arm.
 
How to say it...

Perhaps unpracticed would be a better word?

I have, in my opinion, written better before but I don't write too often, and skill suffers entropy with disuse. Also don't quite seem to be in the groove of writing that I normally am when I attempt to write things. But if I wait for moments where I feel at my best there would be months between anything getting done :p

Though it is only one chapter I've written Without a Beacon to Guide Them A piece of RWBY fanfiction, as well as a few chapters of a story (what you are in the Dark) based on the Accidental magical girl CYOA, though I wrote it in NSFW section of QQ so I won't link (mainly because I meant for darker themes not because I intended anything sexual). I think both of those were better written? Not by any means phenomenal but I hope that improvements will come with practice.

Problem is that lack of comments kills my motivation when I write things so despite getting favourites and follows on fanfiction.net the lack of a reviews made it so that despite the fact that I have had the second chapter nearly done I can never bring myself to finish it, and I similarly can't finish What you Are in the Dark when the last chapter lacked comments.

It is a bit messed up but I just can't push myself forward.

Which is precisely why I choose to do a quest this time around. Hoping to get back in the Groove of writing and if people don't comment on a quest, it naturally cannot progress, and at least I'd know for sure that it is because of a lack of interest rather than the readers just deciding to not comment on the current chapter.



Ironically, despite the fact that I choose Sasaki's sword and the killing stone because of the Fate series, I completely didn't make the connection with how Kasen being summoned via reagent was similar to how servants are summoned XD.
Let Nanoha have watched the first episode of F/SN, please. The parallels and extra lead towards our identity could be amusing. :V
 
Nah. From what I saw, you have only about 4~ not-especially-long chapters of behind you; I don't think I'll be wrong to say what you are relatively new to this, even if Oni Between... is not quite the first experience ever at writing fiction.

Well, it's not like your writing is particulary horrible or anything. Don't worry about it. Too much, at least. Worrying at least a little bit is healthy.:V
 
... Would Nanoha have happened to watch the F/SN anime at some point as well? I remember Mizuki's old quest where the MC's powers were based off of an unholy combo of Eva and WH40K psykers. Nanoha was a huge fan of Eva in it, and the MCs angel form was Zeruel. It got Loud a couple times, but was a lot of fun too.

Let Nanoha have watched the first episode of F/SN, please. The parallels and extra lead towards our identity could be amusing. :V

Ask and you shall receive: it is officially Canon to this fic that Nanoha has watched Fate/stay night. Sadly it was the 2006 Studio Deen version.

How important this fact is will be dependent on paths chosen in quest.

While it seems that for the most part voting is done, I won't close it until 8 PM EST.

Nah. From what I saw, you have only about 4~ not-especially-long chapters of behind you; I don't think I'll be wrong to say what you are relatively new to this, even if Oni Between... is not quite the first experience ever at writing fiction.

Well, it's not like your writing is particulary horrible or anything. Don't worry about it. Too much, at least. Worrying at least a little bit is healthy.:V

Fair enough, sometimes with the amount of thought I put into things I forget how little was actually written XD.
 
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Put it back in the box. No one will be the wiser. Might need to explain to Nanoha that it wasn't your arm.
 
Votes Locked
Vote tally:
##### 3.21
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Put it back in the box. No one will be the wiser. Might need to explain to Nanoha that it wasn't your arm.
No. of votes: 8
veekie
chocolote12
Sinsystems
Prospalz
Driliviel
Namefrog
zero_breaker
wingstrike96
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Destroy the fake
No. of votes: 1
Dragonloli123
Also making slights edits to the last chapter to include the fact that Kasen did in fact have the Ibaraki box of one-hundred medicines with her. Since it was planned for her to have it and she just finished taking a sip of it in the prologue :p.

Probably makes the scene even more confusing for Nanoha :p.
 
Votes Locked
Vote tally:
##### 3.21
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Put it back in the box. No one will be the wiser. Might need to explain to Nanoha that it wasn't your arm.
No. of votes: 8
veekie
chocolote12
Sinsystems
Prospalz
Driliviel
Namefrog
zero_breaker
wingstrike96
[x] I'm fine
-[x] it wasn't my arm, just something from this museum
--[x] try to get her to explain the situation. She mentioned something about a Jewel Seed?
[x] leave room for conversation
[x] Destroy the fake
No. of votes: 1
Dragonloli123
Also making slights edits to the last chapter to include the fact that Kasen did in fact have the Ibaraki box of one-hundred medicines with her. Since it was planned for her to have it and she just finished taking a sip of it in the prologue :p.

Probably makes the scene even more confusing for Nanoha :p.
Just to be clear, is it a box with 100 tiny bottles in it, or a box that holds liquid? I can't google up any pictures of it.
 
Just to be clear, is it a box with 100 tiny bottles in it, or a box that holds liquid? I can't google up any pictures of it.
It is a one Shou (around 2 litres) box for drinking Sake. No tiny bottles in it. Heals all wounds and illnesses (though I assume Kasen's arm is a special exception) when you drink from it. However if it does heal any injuries it turns you into an oni.

If it doesn't heal any injuries it gives temporary super human strength and the temperament of an Oni
 
It is a one Shou (around 2 litres) box for drinking Sake. No tiny bottles in it. Heals all wounds and illnesses (though I assume Kasen's arm is a special exception) when you drink from it. However if it does heal any injuries it turns you into an oni.

If it doesn't heal any injuries it gives temporary super human strength and the temperament of an Oni
Silly question, but how fast does it refill, if at all? Does it convert other liquids into the stuff, or does it just never seem to empty?
 
Silly question, but how fast does it refill, if at all? Does it convert other liquids into the stuff, or does it just never seem to empty?
It is not like Suika's, it doesn't refill to my knowledge. Usually not a problem for Kasen since she has a Sake Worm (turns water into Sake). With that you don't really need to worry about running out of Sake. Sadly, the Sake worm isn't a thing that she has with her at all times (as it is usually in water turning it into Sake). Hence, she is without an unending source of Sake at the moment :(.
 
It is not like Suika's, it doesn't refill to my knowledge. Usually not a problem for Kasen since she has a Sake Worm (turns water into Sake). With that you don't really need to worry about running out of Sake. Sadly, the Sake worm isn't a thing that she has with her at all times (as it is usually in water turning it into Sake). Hence, she is without an unending source of Sake at the moment :(.
So it's an effect applied to any sake drunk from that box?

...

...Nanoha's parents aren't going to like what we do with any money we get our hands on, I don't think.

On another note, how would a Nanoha who is also an Oni act? Because that could be hilarious or odd, if we had to heal her for some reason. :V
 
So it's an effect applied to any sake drunk from that box?
Yes
...Nanoha's parents aren't going to like what we do with any money we get our hands on, I don't think.
While also being quite confused that She never seems to get drunk or have a hang over despite the near lethal amount of Sake she drinks. Near lethal to a human is a relatively small amount for a Oni :p


On another note, how would a Nanoha who is also an Oni act? Because that could be hilarious or odd, if we had to heal her for some reason. :V

While I personally have no plans for Oni!Nanoha this is a quest that can go off the rails pretty easily, so I think I'll refrain from answering that question.

I wouldn't have brought the box over if I didn't intend to allow the players to use it after all.

Well that and the claim Kasen made of having to drink from the box every day or her arm would "rot away". A lie beacuse there is no right arm to rot away, but the sincere and slightly sad expression she had when she said that convinces me that it is a partial truth. Oh. Should probably have added to the ability section of the character sheet her right arm and that she can't properly manifest it if she doesn't drink from the box often enough.

Probably a good thing that was caught before it became plot relevant.

Sorry about that.

edit: Added this to the abilities section of character sheet:

Right arm Manifestation: Though you lack a right arm, you do not have to be truly one armed. You can use your energy to manifest a fake arm, wrapped in bandages to hide its smoke-like reality. However, if you do not drink from the Ibaraki Box of one hundred-medicines after a day your arm starts to weaken, and after a few more it will fade away and you will be unable to manifest it anew until you drink from your box once more.
 
Last edited:
Well...Nanoha is SORT of oni like in temperament already...

But I'm actually thinking of Nanoha's father, Shiro Takamachi. He's a bodyguard who fights gunmen with swords and wins. He IIRC dies in the original, but in Nanoha continuity, you see him with massive scars across his body instead, implying he took a crippling injury instead of a fatal one.

His only weakness was being human strong and human tough(he's already superhuman fast). So...onification.
 
Well...Nanoha is SORT of oni like in temperament already...

But I'm actually thinking of Nanoha's father, Shiro Takamachi. He's a bodyguard who fights gunmen with swords and wins. He IIRC dies in the original, but in Nanoha continuity, you see him with massive scars across his body instead, implying he took a crippling injury instead of a fatal one.

His only weakness was being human strong and human tough(he's already superhuman fast). So...onification.

I'm pretty sure it changes your personality as well as your body. It really shouldn't be used unless it's a last resort. Shiro is perfectly functional for mundane life and isn't in danger of a bullet to the head as he is right now anyway.
 
I'm pretty sure it changes your personality as well as your body. It really shouldn't be used unless it's a last resort. Shiro is perfectly functional for mundane life and isn't in danger of a bullet to the head as he is right now anyway.
Well, yeah, but it's not your emotions that make you who you are, it's your memories. Permanent crankiness in exchange for being healed of a life threatening injury and getting superpowers (if with weird caveats, like no tofu) doesn't sound like a bad alternative to being a cripple for the rest of my days.

Just saying. I also can't help but want to know what a tiny, cranky Nanoha would act like, for all that I'm inadvertently advocating underage drinking.
:V
 
Well, yeah, but it's not your emotions that make you who you are, it's your memories. Permanent crankiness in exchange for being healed of a life threatening injury and getting superpowers (if with weird caveats, like no tofu) doesn't sound like a bad alternative to being a cripple for the rest of my days.

Just saying. I also can't help but want to know what a tiny, cranky Nanoha would act like, for all that I'm inadvertently advocating underage drinking.
:V

His injury's aren't life threatening and he's only crippled to the extent that he can't fight he's absolutely fine if he take's things easily.
 
Back
Top