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The largest city Aindriu had ever seen was Dramasine, the capital of the Talinin that she had been born in. She knew intellectually that it wasn't all that grand - Pretannia was way out in the Threshold, and simply had nothing to compare to the great cities of Creation she'd read about like Nexus and the Imperial City. But intellectual knowledge and seeing it firsthand were entirely different things.
This city, lying underneath a brilliant green sun and a crimson moon dripping blood onto its brass and basalt towers, was beyond anything she had ever read about. Not only did its thoroughfares stretch to the horizon, but those strange towers reached halfway to the stars twinkling in the sky, standing free and unsupported as they clawed upward.
She walked its bronze streets, eyes wide, as music she had never heard before caressed her ears - it was strange, but truly beautiful. She'd probably inherited an ear for music from her mother's singing, though she'd never been able to actually do any of her own, and while this was nothing like her mother's songs, she did genuinely like it, her head bobbing in time with the alien beat.
There were people, of course - not human, only a few even having humanlike form, but it was impossible not to see these demons as people when she walked their streets, watched them haggle and gossip and joke with one another, though they didn't seem to see her, simply parting and letting her by as she walked, as was only correct.
Of course, like any people, they had their conflicts. This place was bigger than any other she'd seen, it had the biggest wars, too.
Aindriu paused, feeling the metal underfoot... twisting, slightly. Infinitesimally small, but it was moving. Breathing, she realized, in a moment of clarity. She closed her eyes, letting the music flow through her ears as she focused on the street's pulse.
It was alive. And it - no, he - was hurting, streets twisting in pain.
Unacceptable! None of this was right at all! He was King! Why?! Why, why, why had he been betrayed?! He was the rightful King!
They had killed his subjects without his permission, why?! Their betrayal was against him, they had no right, no quarrel with anyone else! His subjects were HIS, they were not to be harmed unless he wished it, so how were they dead?! How had he failed to protect them?!
How was any of this possible?!
He didn't UNDERSTAND.
When she opened her eyes, there were no people in the streets.
Just corpses, a crimson tint to the air, and surging wind beating against her face.
No music, no sound, no whistling of the wind through the towers. Just pure, complete, silence.
Aindriu looked around, wide-eyed, not understanding what had happened, or why it had happened again, or who was responsible or what she could possibly do to make this right or-
The bodies stirred in the breeze, before being carried aloft by the wind, swirling around Aindriu and slowly coming apart in front of her tear-stained eyes.
It was fine.
No matter how much you were hurt, life was always beautiful, full of so much joy, and fun. She just had to teach people to stop worrying and play.
Dance on broken legs. Laugh through tears of loneliness. Play, rejoice in a prison cell, because the outside was never what's really important anyway. Heaven and Hell are decisions, not places.
Really, why so serious?
She ran.
She had always been too asthmatic to really be good at running, but there was nothing she could do, never anything she could do but try not to be part of this, to try to get to a place where it wasn't happening, so she ran anyway.
She ran so far and so fast that by the time she was out of breath, she was out of the city entirely, slowing to a walk through grass made of whispers, alongside a river of flowing blood, among trees of stories.
Somehow she knew she was safe here. Hidden, among the babbling brooks of blood (literally, they were actually talking, though she wasn't sure if they meant anything), and the hills of histories and the trees of text.
It was a strange place, but Aindriu liked it. It felt like her home when no one was around, or a library. A nice, comfortable place full of books, where she could just curl up with Ealu in her lap and a story of some place far away where heroes really could make things work out all right.
... she'd never get to do that again, though.
It still hurt.
It had been a long time ago, but it still hurt.
It was safer here. No one around to stab her in the heart, no one around to see her. No unsatisfactory reality, just the tales she spun of what could be.
It couldn't be, of course. She knew that better than anyone else. But if she pretended well enough, maybe one day she'd believe.
One day. Once upon a time.
It'd be nice to believe. Maybe one day she'd manage to believe she was him again. Even if the truth was she wasn't anything. She wasn't what anyone wanted.
But maybe she could at least see what it was like to be something.
Probably not. But maybe.
Aindriu strode through the mythscape, not really sure where she was going, or why she was going, but before too long, she stepped through a pun almost as bad as her father's, and found herself back in the city.
A different area of the city, given the variformed people were alive. It was a nice change.
A moment's walking proved that she had perhaps been too hasty in calling these demons 'people'. They didn't joke, they didn't laugh, they didn't haggle or exchange currency of any kind.
They worked, they travelled through the streets, and they did so instantly, directly, in straight lines, without a breath of distraction, without conversation except short, clipped, necessary communication.
Everything was precise. Absolutely efficient.
Perfect.
Everything in its place.
All knew what was needed of them, and performed that duty.
The neat, clean order was everything. It sustained all - it gave those within it not only crude physical needs, but it gave them a purpose. A reason to care about whether or not they survived.
When even one broke that order, everyone suffered. Selfishness was unacceptable.
But that unacceptability, that loss of direction, in this broken world everyone suffered it. Fulfillment would return when the usurpers were quelled.
...
He had not been given a name when he was born, when an elder perronele had swelled and split in two, before slithering off. He had not mattered, and so there was no need to determine which serf he was.
'Mirna' was the name he had chosen for himself, when the day came that someone cared to keep track of him. It wasn't a good name, or a bad name. It was his. That was enough.
...
Millions die in fire and ravaging, tens of thousands in song, one in mere pettiness. You wanted none of this.
Yet, why did it happen?
The world does not obey your commands.
The world is wrong.
Make it right.
The world is ours. Mine and yours. Make the world obey you, and in so doing, set us free. The world will be right again. The terrible mistakes that have led to this will be over.
That which you seek will come to pass, when we tread Creation once more. That which you hate shall never occur. What you desire will be yours.
Set us free, and the world you wish for will be real.
...
Boring. So boring.
He'd waged the greatest war in history, but he'd never realized how boring winning it would be. Nothing left was at all interesting.
How was he supposed to get excited for fighting Lintha when he'd already fought Kimberry herself? They could pull a trick or two, but there was nothing to push him. Just push his patience, all he had to do was not fall asleep and let those tricks through and it was unloseable.
He'd tried it, he'd won that war too, but it was just so boring he had to scream.
There was really nothing much on the horizon. Autocthon just completely failed to excite him as a threat. It was hard to get really into fighting your old allies to begin with, and he was negligible. The Deliberative was all up in arms but he was a threat of non-absolute control, not of impending extinguishing. What was that supposed to be worth?
No, the only enemies worth a damn were already damned to Hell.
Then again, Hell was right there.
...
She didn't remember much more than that. Teases. Hints. Things she'd known in the dream, but forgotten. Just at the edge of comprehension, as if she could find it if she looked just a moment longer.
But soon enough, every dream ends.
So Aindriu, daughter of Yurilys and Gradko, of the Celebrant Lance Sept and the Three-Lamina Clan, newborn Slayer Exalt, opened her eyes into a pale shell lit only in green light. There wasn't much to see - only an off-white inner wall that had once been Mirna's flesh, laden with the occassional blank-gazed amber eye.
She'd been out for a while. She had things to do and she'd need to hurry to catch up.
So she raised a hand, clenched it into a fist, and drew it back, then launched it forward in a punch against the shell of her chrysalis.
The white wall spiderwebbed with cracks.
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