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A Song in the Fog [REBOOTED]

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Tirfarthuan said:
(To those not paying attention, Phazon works like this, and therefore the universe is pretty much totally doomed in a 'what if Type Mercury was grey goo' sort of way.)
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Works.. Somewhat like this, yes, but so far it's been limited to converting individual planets. That's still really bad, but it's not vacuum collapse level bad.

Hana is limited by understanding, energy, and physics. While you might argue that she's demonstrated the ability to ignore the latter, this isn't really true; the two universes run on the same physical laws, at the bottom, and while those laws can be twisted into either of their two worlds, there are some base rules-like conservation of energy-which are immutable.

She also lacks the understanding of how to construct further generators and generally go Von Neumann, but even if she did not, there is a limit to how large a volume her nuclear loop can stabilize before she would overstretch. You have likely seen it already.

Not that it's much of a concern, as Hana would never be so murderous.
 
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I'm not really certain that a false vacuum is the appropriate physical way to think about this. Primarily because I can't really think of a sensible way that you could sustain a metastable state in the presence of a true(or lower energy false) vacuum. It's not so much the energy requirements- I don't believe that there actually are any(though the cost of expanding a false vaccum is very large), it's that the mechanism by which it propagates doesn't leave any ways of stopping it.
 
I've taken the last couple weeks to think this over and I'm pretty sure what I'm going to do now.

There is going to be a rewrite. I believe it's going to be large enough that I may want to start a new thread for it. The entirety of Arc 1 except maybe the first chapter may be scrapped altogether. I probably won't end up with the same number of chapters I have right now.

The same basic plot points will all be maintained, but it should be more coherent now that I have a much clearer idea of where the story is going long-term. There's some plot holes in Arc 1 that you probably won't notice unless I point them out and explain why they are plot holes, but they are rather large and I need to fix them.

I'm also going to be doing some rewrites of the first half of Arc 2, because there are some parts there that really don't sit well with me. Things are really feeling fragmented and disconnected to me right now.
 
Einsig said:
I've taken the last couple weeks to think this over and I'm pretty sure what I'm going to do now.

There is going to be a rewrite. I believe it's going to be large enough that I may want to start a new thread for it. The entirety of Arc 1 except maybe the first chapter may be scrapped altogether. I probably won't end up with the same number of chapters I have right now.

The same basic plot points will all be maintained, but it should be more coherent now that I have a much clearer idea of where the story is going long-term. There's some plot holes in Arc 1 that you probably won't notice unless I point them out and explain why they are plot holes, but they are rather large and I need to fix them.

I'm also going to be doing some rewrites of the first half of Arc 2, because there are some parts there that really don't sit well with me. Things are really feeling fragmented and disconnected to me right now.
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Good luck and god speed. *salutes*

I look forward to the changes you make, whether they be big or small.
 
Understood. I wish you luck with your attempt, and await the revised story. Can you provide a link here when the first chapter or three get posted?
 
Good luck with the rewrite. It'll be very interesting to see the changes in the revised version.
 
Looking forwards to it. There's a sad paucity of Ar Tonelico fanfiction worth reading, and the other elements are done well.
 
A bit disappointed to hear that you're rebooting this, but I can understand why you'd do it. The first part is a bit of a train wreck from being converted over from a self insert and all.
 
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On the one hand, unfortunate that you're about to embark on quite a lot of labor which doesn't directly advance the story.

On the other, it's good that you've recognized where your current vision and what you've written so far don't align, and have a plan for rectifying the problem.

Just be careful that you don't get too caught up in making it perfect; that trap has slain many a muse.
 
Spectrum said:
Rewrites are often actually a kiss of death for a fic.
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Indeed, which is why I'm expecting this to be the end of a promising story. It started well, an interesting take on the SI genre, but then the author started with the heavy edits and rewrites, and now I'm wondering if I'm ever going to get to see it continued, if it even gets back to this point at all. Pity, really. It was interesting.

Of course, if Einsig somehow manages to get past the issues with the path he has chosen, more power to him. But I'm not expecting him to.
 
It's going to continue. This is not some doomsday signal. It's certainly not anything like what happened with Fog in my Windshield, which I abandoned because I hated everything about it.

I love this story and I want to continue it. I like pretty much all the broad strokes of everything that's happened so far, aside from the train wreck introduction and a few parts that were in the transition from it originally being an SI to what it is now.

Grey Rook said:
But I'm not expecting him to.
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But this? This right here. Don't say this crap. This is very disheartening and discouraging to me when you blatantly say you have no confidence in my ability to continue the story. Frankly, it pisses me off.
 
Honestly, I'm looking forward to the rewrite. What's up now is great and I'd be really happy if it was continued as-is, but I really want to see where this is headed and if Einsig has to do the rewrite to make it all fit together then I'll wait for the rewrite.
 
I love the story as well~

So don't worry. Between the two of us, I'm sure it won't be too long, and definitely not forever.
 
Spectrum said:
Rewrites are often actually a kiss of death for a fic.
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Grey Rook said:
Of course, if Einsig somehow manages to get past the issues with the path he has chosen, more power to him. But I'm not expecting him to.
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What's worse than rewrites for a fic? Predictions of failure.

The primary reason rewrites tend to be the end of some fics is morale issues; author realizes things are wrong, goes to fix. Realizes how much work there is, has trouble summoning the motivation to do so.

If the author has the motivation, time, and focus to get the rewrite done, it happens. Fucking with their morale makes it harder to maintain motivation and focus.
 
I dont really mind the rewrite, i just want more as this is basically the best ar tonelico fic around.

The only thing that worried me when i started reading was the whole crossover thing as that usually means OP!totallynotSI fic, but what whit reyvateils needing emotions to fuel "magic" and Fog ai working best when unemotional robot, thats keeping things interesting and fairly balanced.

Cant critique you on grammar tho, as english isint my primary language.

Im keeping this thread watched so if you make a new one, please make a post here.
 
I am probably going to start the new thread tonight.

I'm also going to be putting this up on Spacebattles, which up until now I just haven't felt confident in doing. I didn't want to introduce something over there that I was already increasingly sure I wanted to rewrite.

Please try not to spoil people that don't watch both forums over there.
 
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