Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Playing: Final Fantasy IX]

[Lights on; MARCUS is in the JUNGLE. SLAVERING BEASTS approach. Suddenly, a noise from stage right.]
MARCUS
Now they're in for it.
[Enter CINNA, riding a WARTHOG]
CINNA
They call me Mister Pig!
[Exit, pursued by warthog]

I. The Greatest City in the World

Last time, our characters arrived in Lindblum (which, as was pointed out by one of my readers, was almost certainly intended to be Lindwurm, with the city's culture having a draconic theme that was completely erased in the English version, with the Dragon's Claw becoming the Falcon Claw and so on). Zidane split off from the rest of the party, and we now find him waking up at a local inn on the day after their arrival.


Vivi: "Good morning."
Zidane: "You're up early."
Vivi: "Lindblum is a very busy place. I've never seen this many people before. I wonder where people go if they wanna be alone…"
Zidane: "Lindblum has always been like this. People come from all over the world. Some of them come here to become airship engineers, sculptors, actors…"
Vivi: "Wow…"
Zidane: "I don't even remember why I came here my first time. Before I knew it, I was living here with my Tantalus brothers."
Vivi: "Do they still live here?"
Zidane: "Yeah. Our hideout is in the Theatre District. I'm gonna go there right now. Do you wanna come along?"
Vivi: "Um, that's okay. I'm gonna look around town."
Zidane: "Okay. Then I'll give you a little tour."
Vivi: "...No, that's okay. I can go by myself."
Zidane: "Ohhh… Okay… Go find yourself a cute girl, alright?"

It's a small touch, but it's a hint of character growth that Vivi has become confident enough to explore Lindblum on his own. Also, let's make a note of the timeline here: Zidane came to Lindblum and then joined Tantalus, young enough that he doesn't even clearly remember why he came here. I'd assumed he'd been adopted by Tantalus in infancy, but this suggests that he had a home that he left behind as a child. I imagine we'll find out more in time.

We get another "Teach Me, Mogster!" ATE, this time introducing a new system that will presumably be important soon: Synthesis. It's pretty simple: In addition to normal equipment shops, there are Synthesis shops, where we can take two items and pay money to fuse them into a new, better item, like so:


The Ogre looks to be a double-sword? Or twinblade, as Elden Ring calls them. So it looks like Zidane can either dual-wield dagger or use a twinblade, that's cool. We already have two Mage Mashers, I'm pretty sure, so we'll hit the shops soon-ish.

We can hit the mog next room over for a letter from Ruby; she's set up a small back alley theatre in Alexandria and is doing well. Good on you, girl.

And now, it's time for our first order of business: Exploring Lindblum.


We get an ATE as soon as we step out, "Small-Town Knight in a Big City," which obviously refers to Steiner and puts further emphasis on Alexandria being… kind of provincial, compared to Lindblum? Which given how often the two have been at war, suggests that they used to be peers, but that the invention of the Mist-powered airship gave Lindblum a decisive industrial advantage that allowed it to massively expand and become a world capital while Alexandria was left behind. It'll be interesting to see if this is further confirmed later.

As for the ATE itself, it's mostly Steiner being absolutely helpless.


Steiner is completely lost, and trying to get people to help him get back to Alexandria Castle, to absolutely no results; the Red Mage thinks he's hitting on her and tells him she doesn't date "bums" and to go scrape the rust off his armor. Which kinda took me by surprise because I'd assumed that the whole "Rusty" thing was invented by Zidane but no, it turns out Steiner's armor is, in fact, rusty? This poor man cannot catch a break, Alexandria's armories don't even give him the good stuff.

He then approaches a "Grandma Pickle" who sells gysahl pickles, a local delicacy. They smell absolutely terrible, and attempting to eat one nearly kills Steiner from coughing and hacking, but somehow he still declares them to be really good? I must be eating the wrong kind of pickles, man.

So! Lindblum. Lindblum is big. I'm going to do a sort of 'flying overview' rather than break down individual dialogue, because there's a lot of ground to cover.

Lindblum is divided into the Theater District, the Industrial District, the Business District, and Lindblum Castle. These districts are not mutually accessible on foot; due to Lindblum's highly vertical construction, they are instead accessed through air cabs, small airships that serve as public transit:


There are two gates out of Lindblum, the Hunter's Gate and the Dragon's Gate (okay, there it is, I didn't see it earlier but they did keep that name in English). The Dragon's Gate is below the Mist and so permanently closed, but we can use the Hunter's Gate to go out onto the plateau around Lindblum. We only have Zidane as a party member right now though, so we won't be doing much of that.

Everyone in Lindblum is very excited (or nervous) about an upcoming event called the Festival of the Hunt, which Freya briefly referred to in our conversation with her last update. This Festival is a huge deal, and involves fighting monsters. There are casualties every year, and some people find the event too dangerous, but it doesn't appear to have diminished the crowd's enthusiasm. The Festival is religious in origin, starting with the local church many years ago.


It looks like we're getting a classic patented JRPG "Church that uses vaguely Catholic aesthetics without ever elaborating on what the religion is like in practice" moment.

If we visit the local weapon store, we get an exchange in which a male youth is there with his girlfriend, where he is admiring all the cool swords on display while she waits extremely bored. It also has a jokey reference to Cloud:


There's a suit of armor in the corner that Zidane mocks, saying who would buy such a cheesy suit of armor? This is set-up for a gag later when during an ATE Steiner visits the same shop and marvels over how cool the armor is.

But more importantly, we can check out the synthesis shop.


Behold! Twinblades! New robes! Boots and accessories!

We can only get some of these for the time being, our main limiting factor being money. The prices are low but deceptive: When you calculate the cost of The Ogre, you have to actually factor in that you need two Mage Mashers, three total to also create the Butterfly Sword (since we don't necessarily want the highest-damage weapon always, we want all weapons so we can learn their various Abilities), and buying those sub-items for fusion quickly ratchets up a cost. Also annoyingly, I can't seem to be able to check out which Abilities a weapon comes packaged with until I've purchased it, so I have to make early choices blind. I decide to buy the Butterfly Sword and the Ogre anyway; The Ogre has an ability tantalizingly called Soul Blade that appears to deal in status effects, though we won't be using it in this update as I still need to learn Bandit off Zidane's current daggers.


There's also a local actor known as Lowell Bridges, who plays Ubobo in the play Moogle Wannabe 2 and who is massively, incredibly popular with the ladies, to the point that we can run into several female characters labeled "Member N°XX" who are all card-carrying members of his fan club. It's possible to actually catch a glimpse of Lowell, to Zidane's despair:


A throng of ladies (well, like five of them, but engine limitations and so on) are fawning over themselves while Lowell pauses by. He tries to introduce himself as "Sir Zidane of Tantalus, the greatest bandit in the world," and they do not give a shit and tell him to fuck off. It's very funny. They also act extremely rudely to an actor in a moogle suit who plays in the same play as Lowell, which is extremely bad fan behavior.

In the industrial district, we can see a cool status of Cid VIII, the last Cid (the current Cid, of course, is Cid IX, because we're playing Final Fantasy IX; in the same way, the main antagonist of FFXIV's A Realm Reborn storyline is the XIVth Legion).


Funny worldbuilding note: Cid VIII designed the first Mist-powered airship, and he had a pet cat, which led to a trend of engineers keeping cats. It's cute, and it also gives us a rough timeline for the emergence of the airship - in the last generation or so. It looks like the major technological breakthrough happened in the reign of the predecessors of Queen Brahne and Cid IX, and now the world is realigning around the new status quo that emerged from it, with Lindblum as the major industrial power and Alexandria looking for ways to catch up.

We can also visit the same inn Zidane met Freya at, where today's dish is "dark stew"; it looks like the owner themes his dishes around status effects, which is honestly kind of scary!?

There's a few more ATEs while we explore. One of them follows Vivi, who visits a local store and purchases a Kupo Nut, a favorite food of moogles. Unfortunately, this leads to a tragic misunderstanding with the shop lady.


Vivi: "Um, what is this Festival of the Hunt like?"
Alice: "Well, we let a bunch of animals loose and…"
Vivi: "(Oh, there's gonna be a lot of animals.)"
Vivi: "It sounds fun! Thank you!"
[Vivi runs off.]
Alice: "What's so fun about fighting savage beasts…? Wait a minute! Did I say 'animals' again!?"

Poor Vivi. He absolutely cannot catch a break.

Another ATE following Steiner's adventures gives us a unique view at the castle tower, and the Hilda Garde 2 that's currently in construction there.


Construction of the engine has stalled, but the hull of the ship is still mightily imposing. More interestingly, they explain further what this Mistless engine is supposed to be: It's a steam engine, much safer than Mist. The local even proudly declares that this is "the age of steam power!"


So, yes. This is officially a Steampunk game now. Lord have mercy.

Let's head to the theatre district and check out Zidane's old hideout.


Unfortunately, the Tantalus crew is not there waiting for Zidane to welcome him home. In fact, the hideout is empty, and it looks like no one's been here in a while. Zidane leans against a wall, wondering to himself what he's supposed to even do now, as well as whatever Dagger's up to now. Cue mandatory ATE.


Dagger is in the room she's been given for the duration of her stay when she hears the bell toll, announcing the end of a performance in the Theater District. She heads towards the exit, thinking to do the same as Zidane and Vivi - go out into the town, have a look around, enjoy the sights.

But Dagger is not Zidane or Vivi. She is a princess. And so the guard, while polite, explains to her that they cannot grant this request. It's too dangerous, you see; there are many more people in town than usual due to the festival, and so they could not ensure her safety. Dagger reluctantly agrees and goes to sit on her bed, very obviously a mix of anxious and bored, muttering that she doesn't want to be protected and she can't stand sitting around like this. She just wants to help her mother.


Back at the hideout, two children barge in and wake Zidane up. Their names are Bunce and Lucella, and Zidane is clearly familiar with them.

Bunce: "There he is!"
Lucella: "I told you he'd be here."
Zidane: "What?"
Bunce: "Why didn't you tell us you were back? We're in Tantalus, too, you know."
Lucella: "Yeah. Uncle Baku said if we find some treasure, we can be in Tantalus, too."
Bunce: "Yeah. Check this out."
[Zidane approaches and crouches in front of the children.]
Zidane: "Wow, those are trick sparrow's wings! That sure is some treasure you've found, alright!"
Lucella: "Yay!"
Bunce: "Yipee!"
Bunce: "So, did the plan work?"
Zidane: "...Yeah. Princess Garnet is at the castle."
Lucella: "Really!? Wow… So, what's she like? Is she cute?"
Bunce: "Did you ask her out yet?"
Zidane: "No… I think she's pretty busy. Plus, she's a princess and I'm a… you know, so… I don't know."
Lucella: "I bet she misses you."
Bunce: "Yeah. You should go see her. See ya!"
Lucella: "Good luck!"
[Both leave.]

It's cute. Once again we see that Zidane is pretty good with children, he has a kind of Big Brother affect, takes their goals seriously and praises their successes. (The "Trick Sparrow" is a low-level enemy, so they probably managed to steal its feather from its nest, which is pretty impressive for kids). But of course the highlight here is that once you take him away from the girl he's trying to hit on, Zidane is actually flustered and self-conscious about Dagger and their relationship. It's clear that part of it thinks "common thief and princess" isn't a story that could work, more of a game that he's playing.

Still, he wonders how she's doing, and decides maybe he should pay her a visit. We regain control, and from there we can loot the hideout, notably taking the Mini-Burmecia, which is a model that's part of some kind of diorama we'll presumably find other pieces of later.

As we leave, we are hit with another ATE, and that one's a lot more informative than usual.


Yeah, turns out? Baku and the others did make it out of Evil Forest in time. They're now in some kind of jungle looking place (could be the outside of Evil Forest, could be another forest at the other end of the continent for all I know).

Revealing this is such a fascinating choice. The game could have left the fate of Tantalus ambiguous until we run into them again in person. Arguably, that might have been a better choice in terms of tension and pacing? Dropping a cutscene revealing that they're all fine just far away doing their own thing and then dropping the matter again is kind of a messy decision at this juncture.

It turns out, Blank is the reason they made it out - when Baku handed him the map to take to Zidane, he first took the time to point to a river that might serve as a way out, and that's how they escaped just in time. Now, Marcus says, they have to find a way to save Blank. Baku agrees, and sends Cinna to fetch the rest of Tantalus.

Then, once Baku and Marcus are alone, Baku has this very surprising exchange:

Baku: "Hey, about Blank… I think it's better that Evil Forest stays petrified…"
Marcus: "Are you serious!?"
Baku: "Don't get me wrong. I ain't sayin' this out of concern for my safety."
Marcus: "Then… why?"
[Cinna comes back and drinks from the well.]
Baku: "I'm sure he wouldn't wanna be saved if it meant Evil Forest was gonna be restored, too…"
Marcus: "...You're right."
Baku: "We gotta start lookin'. There's gotta be another way to cure his petrification somehow. We ain't too late. We gotta do what we can."
Marcus: "I gotcha, boss!"
[They both do the Tantalus salute.]

This is such a wild swerve. Like what about Evil Forest is so bad that it's worth letting Blank petrified over? Like… It's a forest. Just don't go there. Nobody travels by land anyway due to all the Mist!

This is Hive Mind Species discrimination is what it is. Just because a species of Plant Spiders is all connected in glorious harmony by central brain nodes, humans freak out about it like it's "evil" and "wants to overrun the planet" and "probably the Zergs, somehow." Just because it happened one time in Codex Alera- never mind.

Cinna and Baku have a bit where Cinna wants to take the water to make coffee instead of getting the rest of the group over, but what I find the funniest in this scene is that it starts with Cinna drinking from a spring/well, and then after Marcus is done talking to Baku, he goes towards the other end of the background and starts opening chests.

Which is to say, Tantalus is behaving exactly like we do. They explore dungeons, use springs to restore HP/MP in safe rooms, and loot every chest they come across. Making NPCs behave like PCs is always a good bit.

II. They Call Him The Fumbler

We've only got one place left to check out: The castle. We can move through outside of restricted areas unimpeded, and the guards are mostly helpful, but of course as soon as we approach Dagger's room who do we run into?


The Obstruction Man himself, immediately accusing Zidane of kidnapping. Which, this time, we had nothing to do with! How rude!

But yes - the princess is gone from her room, and Steiner is obviously freaking out. Zidane tells him to chill and she probably just went for a walk. Steiner rants at him some more then leaves to search for the princess.

As we head back to the foyer, the background track is replaced by a song we've heard before. A female voice simply sings "la la la…" over and over, though the melody is quite beautiful. Also? Dagger has a deeper voice than I expected.

The voice is coming from upstairs (impressive lungs on that girl to be heard all the way through several floors of stone architecture), but the higher levels are restricted. We need to find a way to infiltrate them… And Zidane has a suggestion.

We should disguise ourselves as a guard.

This is obviously not the first time we've done this; in fact, at this point it's a tradition. VI, VII and VIII all included "disguise yourself as a guard" sequences. I do find it funny how quick Zidane is to jump to this idea and execute it all on his own, because he is, again, a thief. Also, unlike in past entries, the Lindblum guards are ostensibly our allies here. Zidane deciding to screw one of them over is thus a little grayer than usual, but also very funny.


Zidane: "Hey, wake up!"
Sleepy Soldier: "...Huh?"
Zidane: "I just saw a suspicious character wandering around!"
Sleepy Soldier: "WHAT!? Wh-Where!?"
Zidane: "Upstairs. Follow me."


And now we are in a guard outfit! Looks like an officer, too; all the other guards address us as "Sir!" We can then head to the elevator, where Zidane promptly ditches the uniform, though it did gives us the opportunity for a close-up shot.


A small skit plays out between two guards if we attempt to enter the throne room, with one of them being asleep on duty and Zidane narrowly avoiding being found out, then we pass through what looks to be a steam engine room, where the worker on duty tells us he saw a girl heading upstairs.


As we head upstairs, we get one of the most overtly romantically coded cutscenes we've gotten so far. It even has a flight of doves.


Of note is that when Zidane appears, there's no particular warmth or happiness in Dagger's expression. His arrival disturbs the doves, she turns to him with a fairly neutral expression, then turns sad, and looks down, and then turns away from him. It feels a lot more ambivalent than you might expect.


Zidane: "Nice song."
[Dagger stops leaning against the parapet and straightens up, stiffly.]
Dagger: "How did you get up here? This is a restricted area."
Zidane: "Come on, I do this for a living."
Dagger: "...Oh yeah. You're a member of Tantalus. It must've been easy for you."
Dagger: "....."
Zidane: [Scratching his head] "...?"
[Awkward silence.]
Zidane: "Whew… What a view… Hey! There's a telescope! Let's go check it out." [He starts heading up.] "Come on."
[Dagger follows silently.]


As Zidane ignores the alarm bells that should be ringing right now, we can take the telescope and move it around, studying various features of the landscape. The definition isn't great, and the area around Lindblum is mostly just forests, grassy plains, and rivers, so it's not exactly the most exciting landscape, but we can preview some areas we'll presumably visit later, such as a chocobo forest, Marshlands with "a lot of weird things living there," and the Aerbs Mountains, which mark the boundaries between Lindblum and Alexandria on one side, Burmecia on the other. (I really wish it was called Brumecia because it's an easy pun, "brume" means "mist" in French and you know, Mist, etc. Ah well.)

Dagger asks Zidane to let him see, and he gives her the telescope, but her mind is really on other things.


Zidane: "How's the view?"
Dagger: "(...I've made so much trouble for everyone… Uncle Cid knew everything… That's why he asked Tantalus to get me out of Alexandria. No matter how hard I try, I'm always a step behind on everything… I'm so helpless…)"
Zidane: "...What's wrong?"
[Dagger lets go of the telescope and walks over to the ledge, looking away from him.]
Dagger: "Zidane… Why did you help me come here - to Lindblum?"
Dagger: "...is it because your boss ordered you to?"

Oh, it's cute, she's worried that he doesn't really care about her and this was all just a job to him. But we know that's not true! Quick, Zidane, reassure her!

Zidane: "I just wanted to help you. That's all. The boss didn't agree with me… so I ended up leaving the band."
Dagger: [She turns to him.] "Really!? I'm sorry."
Zidane: [He moves closer.] "Don't worry about it. It isn't the first time I've left."
Dagger: "Zidane…"
Zidane: "Yeah?"
Dagger: "Oh… um… How were you planning to abduct me?"
Zidane: "We were gonna put you to sleep with sleeping weed, then kidnap you. It's mostly used for kids, but a big dose can knock out an adult just as easily."
Dagger: "I guess you didn't need it, since I came along on my own." [Pause.] "Hey… Would you mind giving me some? I've had a hard time sleeping lately."
Zidane: "Um, I don't think that's a good idea. You might get addicted. Maybe all you need is some company, eh?"
Dagger: "Oh, please. Do you think I'm that naive?"
Zidane: "Heh, heh. Can't blame me for trying."

Alright, Zidane, let's skip right by over that incredibly clumsy come-on and focus on - wait a minute did she just ask you for the sedatives you were planning on using on her? Sedatives explicitly strong enough to knock out a full grown adult? Because she has "trouble sleeping"?

No, no, I'm sure this is fine, carry on.

Zidane: [He turns rapidly from side to side, like he's either desperately figuring out what to say to get out of the awkwardness, or mustering the courage to ask his next question. "U-Um. Th-That song… Were you singing it at the village of Dali?"
Dagger: "...Yes. So, you were up that night…"
Zidane: "What is that song, anyway?"
Dagger: "...I don't know. I can't even remember where I learned it. I sing it whenever I feel sad or lonely… For some reason, it comforts me and reminds me that I'm not alone."
Zidane: "I guess it's a mystical song… Let me hear it again."
[After a moment, Dagger begins singing again.]

Wow, Dagger, I'm sure that mysterious song isn't at all something that your actual mom sang to you when you were a baby, before she took you on a skiff to escape some nefarious threat and accidentally Moses'd you into Alexandria!

This next performance is actually the background music to a sweet montage, showing where our other party members are at the present.


Steiner marvels in front of the armor Zidane dismissed as tacky, and overhears a customer wondering when Queen Brahne will start another war; Steiner is outraged and nearly starts a fight in the middle of the shop over this insult to his queen. Next, two children are playing with action figurines; one kid has the Lindblum guard, and the other has… the Pluto Knights. Oh my god. These losers have action figures. The other kid makes fun of how stupid they look, the kids get into a fight, and after they leave, Vivi comes across the figurines and ponders how the Black Mages resembled such toys being controlled by others. Then we get a shot of Freya, standing on the rooftops, and doing huge jumps between them - she can clearly just move across Linbdlum's roofs just by jumping which, if we missed previous hints, tells us that she will be our Lancer/Dragoon/Dragon Knight in this game. Seeing as that's my favorite class, I'm very excited. She wonders, "Sir Fratley, where are you? I need you…" So I'm guessing Sir Fratley is the boyfriend she's been looking for.

Finally, we get a beat of Cid hard at work but making little progress; even after the latest revision, the steam engine can't run for more than ten minutes. Cid laments his fallen state, and we are back to Dagger and Zidane.


Alright, Zidane.

This is your moment.

This started out very rough, but it turned out Dagger wasn't mad at you, she was worried about how she got other people hurt and into trouble. You managed to reassure her that you did do all this for her and that you care, this wasn't all just a job to you. You had a small bonding moment with the telescope, even if she had too much on her mind to really get into it. You almost fumbled with the comment about needing someone to keep her company, but then you caught yourself just in time by asking about the song, which clearly has meaning to her, and she sang for you, which is clearly a sign of emotional openness.

You've almost made it. The situation was dire, but you've almost salvaged it. All you have to do is not fucking up at the finish line with your last comment. Maybe tell her something about how beautiful her singing is, or, I don't know, about how you'd love to keep adventuring with her.

I'm rooting for you, man. Go for it.

Zidane: "Hey, Dagger."
[She turns to him.]
Zidane: "So when do you wanna go on that airship cruise?"

…


………….


……………………….


HE USED.

THE WRONG PICK-UP LINE.

HE GOT THE GIRLS HE WAS HITTING ON MIXED UP.


I am dying. Zidane you legend. This is the worst fumble in all of history, I love him. He really managed to get all the way to the finish line and then face-planted a few inches short. This man got control of the ball and turned around to kick it into his own goal.

Legendary.

So, obvious, Dagger is a little miffed. She turns around and goes over to the other side of the rampart, and when Zidane tries to explain himself, she does a special animation flourish where she lifts her hands up behind her hair to toss it a little in a "I really couldn't care less" expression that's also clearly an animation flex ("we have hair physics now, kinda").

Zidane: "Wait. I-I can explain."
Dagger: "Why bother? Go have a wonderful time."
[Zidane slumps over in defeat.]
Zidane: "Oh, man…"

But of course, Zidane wouldn't be himself if he simply accepted defeat. So instead, he jumps up on the parapet to stand tall and draw Dagger's attention, and makes a bold declaration:

Zidane: "Okay, how about this? If I get first place in tomorrow's hunting festival, you and me'll go out on a date!"
Dagger: "How does that have anything to do with me?"
This is a very good point for Dagger, there is absolutely no reason for her to agree to this, she doesn't seem to have any reason to care about the Festival or to be really into cool badass hunters or anything. However, they are standing at the top of a very tall castle that is presumably very windy and Zidane is standing on the parapet and he is five seconds from death.


He actually gets a brief "teetering and nearly falling over" animation before asking Dagger again, and she accepts, which I'm pretty sure is more to keep him from imminently falling to his death than anything else. Maybe that was his plan all along!?

Zidane shouts "It's a date!" jumps off the parapet and runs, and Dagger watches him go with a "...." dialogue box, her feelings ambiguous.

So!

Whether or not Zidane's plans for a date work out, it's time to finally tackle….

Cut for image count.

III. The Festival of the Hunt


Two guards are chatting, one of them lamenting how many lives are lost every year, "especially because of him" (emphasis mine), while the other says it's a test of manhood that makes him "tingle with excitement." While this is happening, people are maneuvering carts full of monsters. It looks like they were very literal about that festival involving fighting monsters in the streets: all who don't participate will lock themselves inside their homes, and the monsters will be released in the streets for the hunters to fight.

Now, on the other hand, that seems wildly unsafe.

On the other hand, you know, I lived in Southern France for years, where they hold the running of the bulls, so, you know.



It's just one of those things that people do I guess.

Anyway, taking part in the Festival is obviously risky, but there are real world counterparts like the aforementioned running of the bulls that show you how it's done: you set up barricades, palisades to protect onlookers, you channel the beasts through certain paths, etc. As an activity for the city as a whole it's not especially dangerous.

Unless.


Someone were to accidentally release the latch on the Fangs' cart, unleashing a pack of murderous beasts before the warning sign was given. Which in turns leads to the guards in charge of the Mus to go "well we have to get out of the way, but we also need to release our beasts for the festivals, so might as well just release them and make a break for it," so now there are multiple monster species running through the streets before the appointed time, while there are still civilians around.

Oh, and what's this?


Breeder: "This year's specimen is perfect. Nothing can stop him!"
[The walls shake.]
Breeder: "Ha ha ha! What power!"
Soldier: "Hey, make him stop! It's too early to let him loose!"
Breeder: "How? I have no control over him."
Soldier: "Dammit! Open the gate at once! The gate's gonna fall apart!"
[The gate opens; the beast erupts.]
Breeder: "GO, ZAGNOL!"


See, this is why you shouldn't hand monster breeding duties to the kind of person who says shit like "such power!" and cackles ominously when you bring up OHSA. The more you know.

Back at the castle…


Vivi: "(Where's Zidane…?)"
Steiner: "Please, Princess. You might actually enjoy it."
Dagger: "Okay…"
Freya: "(I wonder if Zidane has improved his skills…)"
Zidane: [Enters] "Hey guys, sorry I'm late."
Elite Guard: "Alright, let's begin."

The dialogue here is ambiguous but when Steiner is telling Dagger she "might enjoy it" he's talking about spectating the horrible bloodshed that's about to come, of course; not take part in it.

So, how does the Festival of the Hunt work?


All members of the Festival take part separately. That is, we don't control a party of Zidane, Vivi, and Freya; instead, all three characters will take part individually, and we only control Zidane. Vivi and Freya are off on their own adventure. Only one of them can be the winner.

We have a 12 minute window. Each monster killed during that window nets a number of points, with the points varying depending on the monster. These are not random encounters; we need to actually locate and confront monsters within the city map. That means traveling between districts using an air cab.

Now, you might wonder, what's the reward? And here's where it gets tricky: The guard asks everyone their desired reward ahead of time.

Zidane wants Gil. Freya wants an "Add-on," that is, what other games would call an Accessory. And Vivi wants-

Vivi: "WHAT!? I never signed up!"
Zidane: "I thought you would do pretty well, so I signed you up. Don't worry. With your black magic, it'll be a piece of cake."
Vivi: "I… I don't know…"
Freya: "That was very inconsiderate of you, Zidane."
Zidane: "Oh!"
[Zidane approaches Vivi to whisper in confidence.]
Zidane: "(How about this? If you win, I'll fix you up for a date with Dagger.)"
Vivi: "Me and the princess!?"
Zidane: "(SHHH! Keep it down!)"
Steiner: "What was that!? You just mentioned the princess. What evil deeds are you plotting now!?"
Zidane: "It's nothing, right, Vivi?"
Vivi: "Y-Yeah."


…

When I was young - I can't have been much older than the time at which I played this game; perhaps ten, eleven, twelve at the most - my parents took me to the city for the celebrations. As I said, I lived in Southern France at the time, and the festivities of the day centered around the running of the bulls in various forms. I was a shy, socially awkward young boy, who never fit in at these kinds of big events, but there was faire food to be had, and my family's company.

One of the traditional forms of bull games involve the catching of the cocarde. The bull (or cow, but we say bull) has a colored piece of fabric, like a ribbon, stuck to some part of it - it could be hanging off its back, say. Or it could be attached to the fucking horns. The bull is let out into the arena, and daring young men take turns trying to circle the bull and grab the cocarde off it, while the bull (whose horns are covered so they don't gore anyone, but are still very much solid) chases after them. It's a traditional and very exciting passtime.

Now, if you are a Southern French person, you might think: Well, we have an extra-small arena here. And we have a bunch of very excited children. And we have calves, which are, like, tiny bulls.

So what if we held the game of the cocarde, but for teenage boys and children? Grab a calf, give it a cocarde, let it out in the arena, send the teeming throng of children after it. I'm sure they do it every year. And, you know, all the children are really hyped about this. So we might as well just exert some classic pressure and tell some children who are like "wait what no I don't want to do this" that they'll like it, it's fun, and kinda just, shove them into the mix.

"Wait, Omi, are you telling us that, as a child, your parents threw you into an arena to fight a young bull?"

Yes. Yes I am. That is exactly what happened.


There is a memory, seared into my mind's eye, of me, at ten, standing in that arena at night, with a dozen taller, stronger boys making way as in front of me, a confused young cow looks left and right for an escape that has a minimum of teenage boys to go through, or failing that, the smallest possible one.

I thought I was going to die.

Needless to say I did not win the cocarde.

…

SO ANYWAY ZIDANE WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU GETTING THIS POOR CHILD INVOLVED IN A MURDEROUS BEAST RAMPAGE!?

Jesus Christ.

Oh yeah and obviously offering "a date with Dagger" as an incentive that Dagger has at no point been asked or informed about is fucked up but by now you know my opinion on this kind of stuff.

For Vivi's prize, he asks for a card, so I'm sorry dear child but you cannot be allowed to win.

Because yes. That's the thing. We, as in the player, get the prize, whoever wins. But whoever winds decides the prize. And given that we only control Zidane, we're going to need to calibrate our level of winning.

Because the money is just money. We can find it anywhere. But the Add-on would get us a useful item earlier than we could otherwise get it, and that's more valuable.

Which means… Sorry, Zidane.

We have to make sure you fail the Festival and fail to get your date in favor of Freya's win.

Also?

She's cooler than you.


Dagger and Steiner have to kinda muscle their way to a good viewing spot, which of course incenses Steiner and of course Dagger doesn't particularly care. From up there, they see that Vivi is taking part, and immediately start both cheering for him instead of Zidane. Flawless.

Steiner: "MASTER VIVI!!! THE PRINCESS AND I ARE ROOTING FOR YOU!!!"
Dagger: "COME ON, VIVI!!! YOU CAN DO IT!"
[Something happens off-screen.]
Steiner: "No! Master Vivi!"
Dagger: "Look out!" [She turns away, hiding her face.] "Oh, gosh! I can't watch anymore!"
Steiner: "YOU CAN'T WIN JUST BY RUNNING! A GOOD OFFENSE IS THE BEST DEFENSE! ATTACK!" [Lower] "You can't lose to that monkey Zidane!" [Pumping his fist] "YES! THAT'S IT! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! ONE MORE TIME! VIVI, BEHIND YOU! YES! GO!"


The way Steiner is animated in that scene is highly reminiscent of the viewer of an old timey boxing match mimicking thrown punches and moving around the room - it reminds me of a specific scene in the Disney animated movie Oliver & Co, actually. It's very funny in action, and adorable to have Dagger and Steiner instantly converge on rooting for Vivi.

But now we make our entrance.


Here, we can see a poor old man who was slowly making his way home before the festival attacked by a monster, and saved by Zidane. Yeah, the city is in a state of chaos. Luckily, all these monsters are incredibly weaksauce. Once saved, the old man asks "Where did these wild beasts come from!?" which suggests he's really out of the loop.


As you can see, the UI brings up various information, such as who is in the lead: It's eventually going to come down to Freya and Zidane, but in the meantime we have names I don't recall seeing elsewhere, such as Belna, Genero, and "The Strange Gourmand," which is definitely an interesting name if I've ever heard one.

Each monster has a specific point value, which is added to our total once we beat it. Zidane starts in the theater district…

And that's where I meet my first pitfall: Zidane starts in the theater district. My dumbass read that and thought it meant, Zidane will only be hunting in the theater district. So after clearing every screen there of monsters, I find myself… Out of prey. I wander about a bit, moving between screens back and forth, but there are no random encounters; without further monsters I'm left to watch Freya take the lead while I can't do a thing, until eventually I realize my mistake and head back to the aircab.


Half our time is up and we're trailing behind, but it's nothing we can't make up by acting swiftly ("Omi didn't you just say you were trying to lose on purpose" Yes but the moment the challenge started I was blinded by bloodlust and instantly forgot that was my goal here). I head for the business district, and manage to climb back until I'm at 87 points and Freya at 114, and then…


…like I said. Civilians.

Zaghnol, the giant… warthog? I think that's a warthog (I remember when I was a kid I thought of him as "Evil Pumba") has cornered two children who call out to Zidane for help. Zidane shouts to the beast to get its attention.

Then, a voice from above, from the rooftops: "Allow me to help." Freya jumps off a roof and lands in the street, flanking the beast!


Zidane: "Okay, but I get to finish him! I've got a date with Dagger on the line!"
Freya: "...You're ridiculous. Fine. As you wish."

Now, that "as you wish" is important, because I have heard that in some versions of the game (I'm not sure which ones, exactly), Freya cannot deal the finishing blow to the Zaghnol unless Zidane is KO. That is to say, she is acting as his wingwoman and deliberately holding back to let him score the win unless he completely fucks it up.

That's kind of an incredible bit of characterization.

So, speaking of Freya. What can she do?


Freya is our Dragoon. Her two unique abilities are Jump and Dragon. You're familiar with Jump; Freya vanishes into the air, becoming immune to attacks, then falls down with a spear attack for increased damage. The animation there is actually really cool, with the spear coming down with a flashy explosive impact and Freya doing a pirouette into the air back to her starting point.


Freya's Jump deals ~280 damage, which is significantly higher than her base attack damage that's only 88. This is curious to me, because Jump has traditionally only dealt +50% or +100% damage, but this is significantly higher. What gives? Well…


It's hard to make out here, but Freya is in the back row compared to Zidane. Which means she takes reduced physical damage, her normal attack deals reduced physical damage, but Jump is unaffected. This means Freya can enjoy the benefits of being in the back row while still dealing optimal physical damage. Will this finally make Jump worth using in a post-FF3 game?

Who knows! This one fight isn't going to give us the answer, especially since we don't have any of Freya's special Dragon abilities to equip or use.

For now, let's defeat the beast.


Zaghnol is surprisingly magical for such a rough beast. Specifically, while its normal attacks are physical in nature, it casts a self-buff called Electrify. With a name like that, you'd think, "oh, if I hit him physically I'll take electric damage," and that's exactly what happens, represented by the fact that when we attack Zaghnol with Electrify up, he responds with a Thundara cast. Thankfully, since Freya spends most of her time in the air, it's not much of an issue. Also, we're on a timer; we don't have time to care about counters, we just hit relentlessly.

Well, no. First we steal both the Mythril Gloves and the "Needle Fork" (a weapon?) that Zaghnol is carrying, then we hit relentlessly.

We have to do this song and dance three times. The first time…


…Zidane goes down immediately and Freya takes too much time to kill the beast before we reach the end of the 12 minutes and the Festival automatically ends. That still means Freya wins by default since she had a higher point total, but it means I didn't get to kill the monster or steal everything from it, which I can't abide. On a second try, Zidane performs too well and wins; when that happens, Freya says "That monster might've been the clincher" and immediately goes to check on the children (they're safe). She's right: The beast is worth 53pt, ensuring Zidane's win. On our third, try, though…


There is something deeply stupid to the fact that I end up watching as Zidane goes into Trance, wasting a bar that took multiple battles to fill up, and then simply sat and do nothing with that Trance while I have Freya pogo-stick the giant mastodon to death. Ah, well.


Freya wins. The Festival is over.

IV. Feast of Champions


Regent Cid: "That was marvelous! All of you!"
Minister Artania: "194 points! Congratulations!"
Regent Cid: "We grant you the 'Master Hunter' and your reward."
[Received: Coral Ring! Received: Master Hunter!]
Zidane: "My hat's off to you, Freya. I don't know how you racked up so many points."
Freya: "The fruits of my training, I suppose."

I would normally go back and check what dialogue we get for Zidane and Vivi winning, but that's too much work right now, and I trust someone in the thread will provide the relevant quotes. For now, there is more to worry about; a voice comes from outside the room, and a soldier staggers in.

But not a Lindblumian soldier.


Burmecian Soldier: "Regent… Please forgive my intrusion… I bring urgent news… from our king."
Regent Cid: "The king of Burmecia?"
[The soldier takes a knee; Freya approaches him and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.]
Minister Artania: "(Sire, we must not let him see you like this!)"
Regent Cid: "(Take a good look at him. An injury has blinded him.)"
Regent Cid: "Continue."
Burmecian Soldier: "Our kingdom is being attacked by some unknown force! We are severely outmatched! Please send reinforcements immediately!"
Regent Cid: "!!!"
Burmecian Soldier: "The enemy looks like an army of mages wearing… steeple-crowned hats."
Regent Cid: "The king and I are old friends. We will send reinforcements to Burmecia immediately."
Burmecian Soldier: "Thank you, Regent! The king… and all of Burmecia will be most grateful! I must… Return now… Ugh."
[The man collapses against Freya.]
Regent Cid: "Take him to the infirmary!"
Freya: "It's too late. He's gone… It's a miracle he even made it this far. I can't believe this is happening…"


We know, from examining Alexandria and talking to people, that Alexandria, Lindblum, and Burmecia have been at war many times over the centuries. Yet every time we talk about them with Cid, he talks about friendship, about helping out, he wants to help Queen Brahne, he feels bound to reinforce Burmecia against invasion. After all this time of war, the kingdoms were at peace, peace forged in the personal friendship and connections of these rulers.

And Queen Brahne, for whatever reason, has decided to shatter that peace, to end that friendship. Her black mage dolls march to war. I had assumed she'd attack Lindblum first, but of course why do that if Lindblum is the most advanced kingdom, when you could hit Burmecia first instead and make it two cities against one?

There's a problem, however. Most of the army of Lindblum is occupied with the Festival of the Hunt and its fallout. There are hardly any left to bring support to Burmecia. With these news, Cid grimly decides to send the 4th aerial division… The very division patrolling the border with Alexandria.

In order to bring aid to his ally, he is blinding himself to the true threat. But he feels he has little choice; Burmecia is his ally, the threat attacking it is unknown, he must lend them aid.

Everyone here understands that Queen Brahne is not all right, but they don't yet have enough evidence to be sure that these assaillants are her black mages, that she has ordered this, and that she will just as soon take advantage of Lindblum's opened flank.

Freya: "Steeple-crowned hats… They might be black mages, like Vivi."
Vivi: "It can't be…"
Dagger: "Could it be mother…!?"
Freya: [Turning to everyone] "I must go now. I cannot sit and wait for the reinforcements."
Zidane: "I'm coming with you."
Freya: "No. This doesn't concern you."
Zidane: "What's this, I'm a stranger all of a sudden!? I'm not gonna sit back and watch your home get destroyed, alright?"
Freya: "...Thank you, Zidane."
Vivi: "Um, c-can I come, too? I wanna find out who they really are."
Zidane: "Sure."
Dagger: "Alright then. Let's go to Burmecia."
Steiner: "Princess! This is a foreign matter! It has nothing to do with us!"
Regent Cid: "Steiner is right. We don't know if Alexandria is involved."
Dagger: "But if black mages are involved… Zidane, you know what I'm talking about."
Zidane: "....."
Dagger: "If Mother is behind this, I'll make her stop! I promise!"
Zidane: "...I think you should stay here."
Dagger: "What!?"

They argue - Zidane has decent arguments, Dagger has never seen war, a lot of people are going to die, she could be killed, there'll be no time to think about convincing her mother to do anything, and Dagger reaches for an answer, but in the end she'd denied the chance to make her point: Cid simply cuts that there is no time to argue, and Freya says we must head to Burmecia at once, and asks Cid to open the Dragon's Gate; if you'll recall, the ground gate, the one kept permanently sealed due to the monsters, but the best way to reach Burmecia on foot. Cid agrees, and proposes that everyone eat the feast of champions reserved for Festival winners while they wait for the gate to open.

No one has convinced Dagger to stay behind in safety. They've simply ordered her to, and Zidane made a bunch of (valid!) arguments, and gave her no chance to reply. Now they all proceed on the assumption of her staying in Lindblum.

Oh, Zidane.

Don't you know that nobody puts Baby in a corner?


God, look at all this. The blurry old background makes it hard to tell, but… Turkey roast, pork roast, layer cakes, many breads, fish… Wine, fruit… A bowl of what must be gravy or mashed potatoes… This is a proper Thanksgivings feast, damn.

Regent Cid: "The Festival of the Hunt is one of our oldest traditions. It began well over five centuries ago. It is customary to eat everything with your hands, so go on, before it gets cold."
Dagger: "Thank you, Uncle."
Vivi: "Mmm! It's so good!"
Freya: "...."
Zidane: "Let's just eat. We can't do anything until the gate opens."
Freya: "...You're right."
[They all eat.]
Zidane: "Hey, not bad!"
Steiner: "This is wonderful! Princess, how is everything? Why aren't you eating?"
Dagger: "Oh… I'm sorry." [She starts eating.] "You're right. Everything is so delicious."
Steiner: "Indeed it is. Especially the beef. It is superb!"

Ah, Steiner. Bless you. After all that you've been through and all the conflict still in this room between you and Zidane and Dagger, with war on the horizon, you can still just grab a haunch of beef and praise how good it is with total sincerity. In this, too, he and Vivi are inexplicable kindred souls, simply enjoying the meal together.

Vivi: "Oh, I'm so full. I'm getting sleepy now…"

Vivi starts to sway on his feet.

So does everyone else.

Then they start to fall.

Well. Not everyone.


Vivi reaches out, calling out Dagger's name. Vivi falls, then Cid and Freya, then Zidane, and Steiner starts to collapse.

Steiner: "How could I be so careless !!!? Ugh… I'm starting to feel sick… F-Forgive me, Princess… I should have tasted it for poison…"
[Dagger turns to him.]
Dagger: "That's impossible. There shouldn't be any in your dish."
[Steiner starts up.]
Steiner: "What…? Now that you mention it, I feel just fine." [He turns to Dagger, shocked.] "!!! How did you know!?"

HYSTERICAL.

Oh, Zidane. You poor, romantic fool. You gave her the sleep medicine then told her she had to stay put in this castle.

Zidane. How did you meet Garnet?

She hijacked her own kidnapping to get out of Alexandria.

God.

Dagger explains to Steiner that this is the sleeping weed Zidane gave her and that everyone will be fine, but that she has to make her own decisions.

Which, interestingly, puts Steiner for the first time in a dilemma where he can't project the fault onto Zidane, and has to actually address Dagger and her wishes personally, one on one.


Dagger: "I had no choice. Uncle Cid would never let me leave the castle."
Steiner: "That is because he is concerned about you!"
Dagger: "I understand, but-"
Steiner: "No, you don't understand…! War is a terrible thing! You must never experience it as I have. I'm sorry, Princess. I cannot follow any orders that might put your life in danger."
Dagger: "...What if Alexandria is behind the attack on Burmecia? It could lead to war between the three great nations. Many innocent people will die… As the princess of Alexandria, there must be something I can do. I have to help Mother… I don't want to see anything happen to her…"
Steiner: "....."
Steiner: "...Very well." [He salutes.] "Princess, I will follow you wherever you choose."
Dagger: "Thank you. Let's go before everyone wakes up."
[As she leaves, she kneels next to Zidane.]


I forget if there were previous implications that Steiner was a war veteran, as opposed to just a peacetime knight. Whether he "knew war" as a child or as a soldier, it goes a long way to explain his hidebound commitment to The Law, Order, The Way Society Should Be. Steiner is terribly afraid of chaos, of the breakdown of civilization and order that comes with war. That's why he's so attached to the way things ought to be, to everyone being in their proper place and everything proceeding as they should.

But in the end, like Agrias was loyal to Ovelia before the crown, it seems Steiner is loyal to Garnet before the crown. When she shows him her resolve and the reason why she hopes to prevent war, he commits himself to her course.

And so they leave, as everyone in the room soundly sleeps.

And so will we leave, for now, picking up our remaining group - Zidane, Vivi and Freya - next week, as they must hurry on the heels of Dagger and Steiner, to whatever disaster no doubt awaits them in Burmecia.

…

Zidane committed the same sin as everyone else and underestimated Dagger. That's his crucial mistake in this whole engagement. She played him completely.

Dagger asked for the sleeping weed before the Festival even started. That could mean that she asked because she genuinely had trouble sleeping, and then when she saw a situation that would call for a soporific in everyone's food, she used it; that speaks to improvisation. Or it could be (my preferred interpretation) that she had observed everyone's behavior, put two and two together, and knew that whatever the reason for Zidane, Steiner and Vivi to depart on some adventure next, they were going to leave her behind, or Uncle Cid wasn't going to let her come with him to visit Brahne, or something else. She did not know the circumstances in which people would try to leave her in a gilded cage while they tried to solve things without her input, but she knew they would try, and she armed herself ahead of time.

Dagger is a relatively reserved person. She doesn't talk much, and she even more rarely explains the exact motives behind her actions, or how others make her feel. But if you pay attention to her actions, her decisions, her body language, it's very clear that much more is going on behind her quiet princessly demeanor than she lets on. She always keeps a veil of propriety, but she has strong feelings, she's suspicious of her entourage, even the ones she genuinely likes, because she correctly assesses that they underestimate her and will undermine her agency, she plans ahead. And she's also prone to outburst, whether that's her rooting for Vivi or her (entirely justified) pique at Zidane for the hardest fumbling of the century, ye gods.

I think to a large extent this update was Dagger's, just in a way that only fully revealed itself at the end.

The Festival of the Hunt was… Okay, but it was a lot of fights without rewards (I didn't mention this but you get no XP, AP, Gil or items for any of the battles, even the boss) except the item at the end, which is always annoying. We did get a couple of steals from the boss though, so that's nice.

Mostly the Festival was useful as a mechanical introduction to Freya, paired to what more we saw of her character in this update. She's sort of… Steiner if he took a chill pill?

Freya is stiff, formal, but doesn't seem particularly attached to The Law, only her own definition of proper behavior. She saves children, sticks by her friends, and in at least some versions of the game, is willing to take a step back and let her friend have the win if he really cares - while still being capable of grumbling and making fun of him for it. And her attachment to Burmecia seems complicated, she didn't want to go back but of course she still cares about it; she acts with silent kindness towards the blind, dying soldier, and then commits to recklessly heading for a kingdom under attack in hope of bringing whatever help she can't.

She's a good person, that much seems clear. And she makes a perfect "friendly" foil to Zidane in a way Steiner is too antagonistic to do a lot of the time.

And of course, Vivi remains perfect.

Good game. I had fun.

Thank you for reading.

Next Time: To Gizamaluke's Grotto!