Teaching the Next Generation To Blame Danzo: A Jounin Sensei Quest (A Naruto AU)

Expectations:

You took a moment to think about what you wanted to do. The food was hot, the food was ready and at any moment they could dig into their food without causing any complaints from you. However, they just stared at you, eyes motionless, as if they were waiting for you to do something.

Then you finally spoke in a soft tone that made them immediately at ease. "Feel free to eat, no sense letting it go to waste, I know I won't waste it."

Everyone was still looking at you as you took the first bite, savoring the taste of the meat as they all looked hesitantly at each other before Yakumo took a bite. Then Sasuke, then Naruto.

Each of them had differing reactions to the high-quality meat that they were being served. Yakumo and Sasuke were pleasantly surprised as if they had not had it before or had it a long time ago and they remembered the taste.

Though in Sasuke's case, his surprise turned to longing, then to anger. Yet he remained quiet. Thinking of his words.

It was Naruto, the most suspicious of the three eaters, that spoke, the food too rich for his tastebuds. "What is this?"

You smiled. "Curry, rice, beef that was cooked well by the chief, and an introduction." you then pointed to yourself with the chopsticks and twirled them between two fingers. "my name's Yamato - you may refer to me as Yamato-sensei because assuming you don't completely screw up, I'm your Jonin and you are my team."

You took another bite. You really outdid yourself with this order. You really liked it. "Yes, I did enjoy kidnapping you and watching what happens when I dump food in front of you. It's funny, and by the time you get to where I am you learn to take your kicks where you can. Remember, confuse - don't abuse."

At that, Naruto spoke again, without a filter. "What the hell does that mean?!"

You sighed. "Hm, I thought I could wait until after we finished eating before I evaluated you, but since you are being so impatient with the food offered, I'll explain."

You pointed to Yakumo. "Yakumo," The girl nearly choked on her food as you pointed at her. "you are first, and frankly, I'm amazed you not only did not expect me to do this, I was amazed your Beast didn't try to take over to defend you. I know how protective they are of their… partners. But something tells me you have a very poor… history with her?"

"Him. My Beast's name is Hanzo." She stated. A flicker in her eyes showed that it did not like being misidentified, nor was it very happy that it was being called out. "He's… not happy about a lot of things."

"Ah, sorry." You then gave a nod. "The problem is, you need to trust him, both for your sake as a ninja and for your mental stability. We cannot have another incident where you lose control, or he decides to act out of turn."

You then looked at her diminutive figure. "You are also lacking in the physical strength department, and while your genjutsu skills are remarkable, you are also in need of training to reach a level where you can survive without those skills."

"Ha!" Naruto made a sound like laughter, as he continued to eat.

You took another bite, before looking at the Orange traffic cone. "Naruto, the fact you passed the exam frankly scares me." That made the boy choke on his food. "Your below average on every possible metric, the fact you are a poor student makes it even harder, as you are barely able to grasp concepts that children younger than you have."

"Hey I-" He started to protest, but you held up a hand, silencing the boy in fear. You did not want to show him your… Face.

They were not ready for that yet. No, they would not learn of that unless it was life or death. "But you are a stubborn fool who manages to sneak around time with orange jumpsuits and a vicious protective streak, and your shadow clones will be useful. Very useful. I also saw your seal for that tag in your apartment, crude, but passable, the fact you manage to make it by memory is a strong start."

Naruto was shocked. "You… you were the one who broke into my apartment?"

"Yes." You replied. "I made sure to leave a presence to see if your apartment security skills could be improved. I haven't checked yet, but I assume you have done other things to keep your home safe?"

He nodded but was embarrassed as he looked down at his sandals.

You then looked to Sasuke, who was not eating, examining his surroundings and you, but saying nothing. "Sasuke Uchiha." You said his name to get his attention. "All I am going to say is this. You are a remarkable young ninja with the skills to back it. However, we need to talk later. Your skills are not what I wish to speak to you about."

You then took a breath and ate another bite

"But as I only knew you were going to be my team for about a day or so. Introduce yourselves so I know what I'm working with. Give me your likes, dislikes… and dreams for the future. If you want of course."

Sasuke looked down at his food. He didn't want to speak, yet he did, much to your surprise. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like many things. And my dream… is to kill a certain man."

At that, you spoke. "What about Tomato's?" That earned a snicker from Yakumo. And Sasuke was brought out of his brooding.

"What?"

"You had tomatoes in your apartment, quite a few might I add. Are you telling me you don't like them?" You asked.

Sasuke took a moment to think, before he sighed, realizing he was trapped. "I do like tomatoes." He whispered.

You smiled. Excellent. He was opening up, even though you forced him too. That was a start. "Yakumo, your turn."

She smiled for a brief moment before she lost it, as if she heard something else, from inside her head. "My name is Yakumo Kurama, I like singing and dancing with my cousins and my Grandmother when she's well enough to be back home. I dislike when… Other people misunderstand the burden I carry or the fact that they call me a freak." She paused before her eyes seemed to turn black for a moment. "My dream is to be a shinobi of the village, and to make peace with Kurieni for what she did."

Then another voice spoke through her. "Tell him the truth Yakumo."

Then Yakumo nodded. "I also want to find a way for Hanzo to stop tormenting me. I want to make sure he can never hurt me again."

At those words, everyone seemed to be quiet, losing their appetite.

You allowed them to digest the words, and then… you spoke. "Naruto."

Naruto seemed somber, but then he was energized and happy, a smile on his face. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I like instant Ramen and my dream is to surpass the Hokage! So I can get the Village to acknowledge my existence."

That energy seemed to make everything feel lighter. As if he knew what he wanted, and would do anything to achieve it.

Yet with those words, you were reminded that these kids needed therapy.

All the Therapy in the world, just to get them to pass the minimum sanity requirement.

Well sure it was not required, but you think it might be a good choice.

The rest of the meal was not as expected. They were all uncomfortable with each other. Naruto and Sasuke were kicking each other every few minutes while Yakumo spent several seconds zoning in and out, as if she was losing control and Hanzo was trying to get out before she took control again.

You were correct in the assessment. You had a train wreck of a team, that was in dire need of correcting.

You were going to blame Danzo for this in a strongly worded letter as to why there was not a psychological councilor at the Academy.
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Kakashi was sitting on the roof of your house, utterly exhausted from the looks of it. "Kakashi." You stated as you sat down. "Rough day?"

"I hate those kids. They saw through the bell test immediately."

"Wow, that means you couldn't fail them?" You smiled as you handed over a parcel. "New from Jiraya, just came in last night?"

"Stole it from my mailbox?" He asked.

"You know it, you know better than to get the new print dirty during a test?" You replied.

"So what did you plan? He asked. "For your test of course."

You frowned. "Didn't think of one? Got any ideas?"

Kakashi sighed. "Bell test?"

"Too simple, even though I have two idiots on my team." You replied. "Sasuke and Naruto are trying to see who is the more dominant of the two, and it's going to wreck their cohesion? But there is also Yakumo who will not be able to keep up physically. So if I push them too hard on that front, it might hurt her badly."

"Maybe jutus demonstration?" He asked.

"Too simple."

You needed to come up with a plan.

Dammit, it was hard, it was not like teaching another jounin how to do another jutsu. It was for kids.

What is your plan:
[]Write in

AN: enjoy and vote in plan format please.