The noise from the outside made more noise than the group that traversed into the Office of the Hokage. And not for any lack of trying, as the group of killers were quietly assembling for the most important step in their career.
Some would argue that it was a waste of their talents being brought here and benched away from their units, to personally train the next generation with such vigor, when there were other, far more qualified individuals to handle the situation of dealing with children.
"I assume you are all here to complain that your names came up?" Lord Hiruzin calmly said as the group sighed.
It was like this every year, and they did not want to take part in it. Yet they should know better that the Lord Hokage was not a man who would take insubordination lightly. Well anymore than he allowed Kakashi on occasion to hide at the Memorial Stone.
But these men and women were among the best of the best, even if one of them went rouge and spent nearly a decade away from home…at least she kept an eye on Tsunade.
"So… are you just going to sit their Lord Hokage and make us squirm while you choose where we go for our Students?" One of the Jounin asked.
"Why yes. I am, until you all realize that this is important and stop complaining." The groans from his subordinates made Lord Hokage feel old again, and it was exhilarating to have that feeling. "Oh quiet all of you. Let me now get out the list."
"Why can't you make Danzo do it?" Another asked.
"Because I still Blame Danzo for the mismanagement of resources. Kakashi was not going to pass that team."
Kakashi frowned beneath his mask. "Why bring me up? They were not going to pass anyway."
You frowned. "Because it was humorous blaming Danzo for something that was entirely his fault."
"There is always a good reason to Blame Danzo, just ask Yamato, Danzo ruined his life before he was even born." Kakashi stated. "Even though it was Orochumaru's fault."
"Please don't bring that up." Yamato said quietly. "It's bad enough that I still go to Therapy for all of Orochimaru's stuff."
"And you're an oddity that you even go to therapy at all." Ayako stated. It was so weird hearing her voice in their heads, but her jutsu is so damn perfect that no one flintched.
"Says the woman who made herself disappear to get out of paying taxes." The youngest of the Jounin stated. "Can we get on with this, I really need to get home, my land lord is trying to evict me again, and I can't lose my apartment again."
----------------------------------
Who do you play as?:
[]Kakashi Hatake
-High Starting Level
-Man of a Thousand Jutsu's
-Poor Mental Health
-All Around Genius
-Lazyish when not motivated.
-Looks Underneath the Underneath.
-Blames Danzo for everything.
-Fails to Meet the Minimum Sanity Requirement
-High Starting Level
-Close Range Combat specialist
-Famous
-Politically knowledgeable
-Connected (He's The Hokage's Son dammit!)
-Smokes like a god damn chimney
-Meets the Minimum Sanity Requirement
[]Yamato
-Mid Starting Level
-Possess the Wood Release Boodline
-Connected to Root and ANBU
-Relative unknown outside Konoha, able to blend infiltration easily.
-Has a Scary face
-Well Rounded
-Has Hokage's ear
-Some teaching experience
-Fails to Meet the Minimum Sanity Requirement
[]Shiro Hyuuga
-Low Starting Level
-Child (aged 16)
-Politically Isolated (Exiled from Clan)
-In the Know of the Hyuuga Master Plan
-Loves Playing Hide and Seek with everyone in the village, ANBU hates him for revealing their positions.
-Thinks he's an atomoton (It's Robot!)
-No Teaching Experience
-Hates Kids, and thinks they are stupid.
-Taijutsu Grandmaster
-Medical Master
-Does not meet Minimum Sanity Requirement
-(AU Starting Character: Neji's Older Brother/ Kakashi's former Apprentice)
[]Ayako Kurama
-High Starting Level
-Former Missing nin/Rehabilitated.
-Talks about giant hula hoops that can destroy the world.
-Some Teaching Experiences, mostly by traumatizing people with Genjutsu
-Genjutsu Grandmaster
-Mute, can only communicate through sign and jutsu.
-Politically connected
-Blames Danzo for everything.
-Is the Reason the Jounin's has a Minimum Sanity Requirement
(AU Starting Character: Kakashi's Mom, Ex Missing Nin, and all-around Reality Warper. Loves to Troll People)
[]Random
-Do you Want Magoose to roll the dice and give you the random Jounin Sensei?
-You are all insane if you choose this.
-------------------------------
"Alright, now that that is sorted, onto the Students… Choose who you want."
"Is that a good idea?" Shiro asked.
"No, but it's hilarious." The Hokage ended. "So choose already!"
[]Naruto Uzumaki
- Kyuubi jinchuriki
-Uzumaki descendent
-High potential but currently low skill
-Extreme attention seeker, is willing to compromise mission to make sure he gets agknowladged.
-Special: Must be taught by Kakashi Hatake or Yamato
[]Sakura Haruno
-Highly intelligent
-Graduated near the top of the class
-Amazing chakra control
-Looks Useless, but requires a highly intensive training regime to reach her full potential.
-needs to be given motivation, but does not have any outside of academics.
[]Sasuke Uchiha
-Uchiha descendent
-Exceedingly high practical skill
-Emotionally scarred, loner, wishes to take revenge on his brother.
-Loves Tomato's, will be useful in cohousing him into training.
-Will need Therapy
-Special: If teacher is not Kakashi Hatake a well-reasoned argument is required for this student.
[]Hinata Hyuuga
-Possesses Byakugan, an extremely good sensor
-Highly skilled in taijutsu
-Lacks confidence
-Has a notable one-sided crush on Naruto. Everyone sees it, but they are kids, they will grow out of it.
-Keep away from Neji, he might try to hurt her.
-Protect her, she is part of the Hyuuga master plan!
-Knowledge of courtly manners
[]Kiba Inuzuka
-Inuzuka hound partner
-Skilled in taijutsu
-Minor sensor
-Can talk to Animals. Though mostly dogs.
-Brash, headstrong, requires firm discipline to teach.
[]Yakumo Kurama
-Best genjutsu prodigy the village has ever produced in years.
-Clan heiress
-Physically frail
-Rumored to have been possessed by a demon (it is false), and that has ruined her reputation.
-Dreams to become a shinobi
-Special: Cannot be taught by Kurenai Yuuhi. If student is not selected her chakra will be permanently sealed.
[]Shino Aburame
-Possesses kikachu, most chakra is reserved for the swarm
-Analytical, highly intelligent in the manner of using his bugs.
-Slightly asocial, requires more training.
-Is pretty funny, all things considering.
-Minor sensor
[]Shikamaru Nara
-Profoundly intelligent, smarter then his father... maybe
-Lazy, will need to be motivated to do training.
-Below-average skills
[]Ino Yamanaka
-#1 Kunoichi
-High all-around skills
-Domineering. does not work well with others that she does not know.
-Obsessed with beauty and looking good, maybe requires a little more training with getting dirty and genjutsu.
[]Choji Akimichi
-Easy going
-Good taijutsu
-Unassertive
[]Yoshi
-Civilian born shinobi
-Average skills
-Can get along with anyone
[]Random
-Do you Want Magoose to roll the dice and give you the random team members?
-You are all insane if you choose this.
AN:
You know what we need, Comedy!
And lots of funny slices of life, in between stupid missions where we kill people.
Yamato
Age: 23
Level: 29 (0/10,000 EXP)
Chakra Reserves: Full (4000/4000)
Health: Perfect Health
Mental Stability: Poor (Going to Therapy)
Special Traits:
The Sensei!: You are a bad motherfucker according to all people you've killed, now tasked to teach teenagers. (You are the Jounin Sensei, and this trait dictates you are the MC. Will be lost if you die!)
Wood Release Bloodline: You have Wood Release Bloodline, and things will be fun. (Write in Stunts unlocked, can control the Kyuubi if needed)
Root and ANBU Connections: You have friends in the Spec ops (+10 to dealing with Konoha's Special forces)
Fails to Meet the Minimum Sanity Requirement: You Will be unable to do missions outside of the Land of Fire until you are deemed mentally stable or convince the Hokage it's a good idea.
Hokage's Ear: You are a part of the Hokage's inner circle. (+10 to Talking to the Hokage)
Naruto Uzumaki
Age: 12
Level: 7 (1400/2000 EXP)
Chakra Reserves: Unknown (The kid's reserves are Bullshit)
Health: Fine (He is better and is back to training.)
Metal Heath: Good (The Kid has issues… Lots of issues, yet still has a smile on his face. He's going to be okay.)
Special Traits:
The Adorable Genin: The child is your charge. If he dies under your care, the Quest ends.
Hokage Wannabe: He wishes to be Hokage… And he knows that he has at least two people in his corner to make it happen. (Naruto gains +20 to all rolls until he is level 5. Unlocked Special Training Path, The Hokage)
One Man Army: He knows the Shadow clone Jutsu. And has a lot of chakra… do the math (He will rely heavily on his clones in combat and training)
Taijutsu Expert (Academy Style) This person is an expert in Taijutsu and won't be a liability in Hand to Hand combat.
Jinchuuriki (Known, Untrained): Known to Him, he is the Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tails Fox. Due to how he gained it, hit has increased his chakra reserves well beyond a child his age. (Chakra reserves are at Bullshit Level)
A Poor Student (Academic): He hates class and school work. That is not a problem but needs to be addressed, as he is lacking in numerous theoretical subjects that all ninjas should know. (-20 to all teaching rolls when it involves trying to teach Naruto through lecture, or with books) Naruto has been trained well, and... well can at least pass most stuff.
Adaptable: The Kids wears Kill Me Orange and is somehow as stealthy as Shiro! What the fuck! (Automatically passes all stealth rolls, except against Shiro Hyuuga, and Hinata, or Spoilers)
Ramen Lover: That kid loves Ramen more than anything else. (If you bribe him with Ramen, automatically pass a social action)
The Uzumaki: With the revelation that he is a member of a true Clan, Naruto has decided that he is going to do something incredible. He's going to just… keep going with his clan, and what it was, what it can still be. Discover his heritage, and what truly makes an Uzumaki. (Will be spending time increasing his knowledge of his family. Give a Roll Bonus to all rolls when working with Karin or any member of his family)
Sasuke Uchiha
Age: 12
Level: 7 (1400/2000 EXP)
Chakra Reserves: Good
Health: Fine (He is feeling better)
Mental Health: Poor (You are helping him as best you can.)
Special Traits:
The Adorable Genin: The child is your charge. If he dies under your care, the Quest ends.
The Last Uchiha: The Kid is the last member of the Uchiha clan still loyal to Konoha. He also has responsibilities and politics that he must attend to that you can assist with.
Taijutsu Expert (Uchiha Style, Academy Style): This person is an expert in Taijutsu and won't be a liability in Hand to Hand combat.
Traumatized: He is a train wreck, and his issues and trauma from that night have affected him to such a degree that it might be impossible to make him a functioning member of the Ninja forces. You are going to need to fix that (If he fails as a Genin, he will be removed from active duty and sent to a mental facility… that is run by Danzo. Try not to think about too much.)
Revenge Driven: He wants to kill Itachi. Understandable. But it has consumed his entire life (If an action does not lead to helping him gain power or kill Itachi, -10 to the rolls)
Tomato Lover: He loves Tomatoes Who knew? (If you bribe him with Tomato's, automatically pass a Social action)
The Medic: Yamato's training to be a medic has grown on him, and Sasuke Uchiha has made a vow. He would be the greatest medic in all of Konoha's history. Which would take him the rest of his life. But that was something that he would be okay with. (+20 to all medical rolls. Unkown effect on his mental stability)
Yakumo Kurama
Age: 12
Level: 7 (1300/2000)
Chakra Reserves: Good
Health: Fine (She is doing a lot better.)
Mental Health: Bad (She's beginning the Long Road to healing.)
Special Traits:
The Adorable Genin: The child is your charge. If she dies under your care, the Quest ends.
Clan Heiress (Kurama Clan): She is the Clan Heiress, and will have responsibilities beyond her shinobi training, that you have the opportunity to assist with.
Taijutsu Expert (Academy Style) This person is an expert in Taijutsu and won't be a liability in Hand to Hand combat.
Genjutsu Prodigy: She is without a doubt, a bloody brilliant student (When teaching genjutsu to her, +10 to her training rolls)
Driven: She nearly lost her chance to be a ninja for the village. She will not fail a second chance (+10 to all training rolls)
The Beast in Me (We're in this Together): She is part of the Kurama Clan, meaning she has a reality-warping Alter Ego that can bend reality to their will, with training, and trust. Gaining trust and training will allow her to control it, and assist greatly in changing the shape of battle (Every rank up of this trait will open up her creativity, and her Beasts ability to assist you, with weapons, armor, people, or even change the battlefield to whatever you need.)
The Partners in Crime: There is one thing that all Kurama desire. Hanzo and Yakumo have an understanding, and that means they will work hard to be in tandem. To be the best of themselves so that they can survive. They will be whole. (+30 to all Genjutus training rolls)
*Looks at all the quests fics you've started but haven't finished* Dude you have a problem and can't quit just because you say you can...
*Will vote after supper*
P.S. Do they really have robots in Naruto?!
[X]Plan Dare to be Badass
-[x] Yamato
--[x]Naruto Uzumaki
---[x]Ino Yamanaka
----[x]Yoshi
This team looks chaotic and potentially really heartwarming/Most Canon divergent.
[X] Team Orphan
-[X] Yamato
-[X] Naruto Uzumaki
-[X] Sasuke Uchiha
--[X] "In addition to failing every team we've sent his way for years, Kakashi has never had the experience of being a normal genin. Sasuke will benefit more from jonin who's approach to his training is less dependent on the boy developing the sharingan. In addition, given the boys temper, a jonin as deliberately antagonistic as Kakashi will likely make the boy in a more uncooperative mood. It would be a shame for the boy to be held back entirely because we stacked the odds against him. Yamato will bring a professionalism sasuke can respect, and has the benefit of having to master Mokuton from scratch to help him guide his pupils along the path of self growth, as well as actual teaching experience, which is more important than a transplanted sharingan when it comes to sasuke's development. "
-[X] Yakumo Kurama.
[X] These kids will be the death of me
-[X]Shiro Hyuuga- the outcast
--[X]Hinata Hyuuga- the shy
--[X]Shikamaru Nara- the lazy
--[X]Yakumo Kurama- the ridiculed
Sasuke needs a justifying argument for why he'd be put with a jonin other than Kakashi, which is why I needed to check and see if I'd done a good enough job.
Anyway, not sure what to vote for here, since I don't really like either of the OCs, but Ayako is probably the best person to train Yakumo, who I'm kind of leaning towards.
[X] Team Orphan
Voting for this as a placeholder because I like the reasoning for Sasuke. Will switch if I see or come up with a plan a like better.
He supported Hinata when Hiashi supported Hanabi. It escalated from there and led to Shiros becoming exiled because he thought the family needed fresh ideas.
Hmmm... if I may, I'll put two plans out there, one sensible, and one... well.
[x] Plan Simple, Straightforward, Sane
- [X] Yamato
- [X] Uchiha Sasuke
- - [X] "From what I've seen, what Sasuke most desperately needs is therapy. As has been pointed out, I actually go to mine. I bet I can get him started there."
- [X] Uzumaki Naruto
- - [X] "Have you seen his form? Kid's not a genius that can intuit everything by seeing it once. He needs training."
- [X] Hyuuga Hinata
- - [X] "Someone needs to ground this team, and I think Hinata can pull it off."
Between Hinata and Naruto, this team can effectively establish superiority in information, scouting an area and pinning down enemies before they can be engaged. Between Sasuke's potential in ninjutsu, and Naruto being everywhere, not many targets are hard against them. And when it does come down to the dramatic ninja duel, how many are going to want to be melee with a Hyuuga and Uchiha? I think the social dynamics play well as well, with Naruto and Hinata supporting each other and pushing themselves further, which will draw Sasuke in to compete with them, while overall not having gaping cracks like the canon attempted love triangle.
As for teacher, Yamato has his issues, but as noted he's actually dealing with them. The whole team needs therapy to one degree or another, and he might actually get them it. Otherwise, his focus on ninjutsu with a backing of taijutsu probably fits the team well. I don't have much on how they'll play out socially, but it could be interesting to explore.
[x] Plan Taunt the Happy Fun Ball
- [X] Random
- [X] Random
- [X] Random
- [X] Random
What's the worst the dice can do?
I thought this was a comedy quest. What's funnier than a team passing the bell test cause it's laziest member talked his best friend and unassertive female teammate into a unified effort to ignore the test and watch clouds instead, inadvertently outperforming all of Kakashi's previous teams in showing they could cooperate?
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