Lost on the Road of Life (An AU Naruto Quest)

Nishikigoi Kenichi sat in the small shrine room with his bare blade resting across his knees. He fixed his gaze on the single candle that burned in front of him, letting the intensity of its flame burn out all the other thoughts running through his mind. The brightness of the light made the dribbles of clear wax running down the side of the candle fade away, and he could feel that same burning intensity in his body as he focused his chakra down to a single point.

His chakra had been unstable of late, and he knew why. Yet, his duty called to him. The Irabi army was marching on the allies's last great bastion, and he would need to fight them. He would need his chakra to be calm for that: a single, perfect blade that he could use to strike down the enemies with unyielding intention. He blinked the dryness out of his eyes and redoubled his focus on the candle. Little by little, the turbulent storm of chakra within him slowly calmed till it was as still as the surface of a wintertime pond.

"Kenichi."

Nishikigoi looked up at the newcomers entering the room, then quickly rose to his feet to give them a deep bow.

"Lord Hidemoto." He paused for a moment, recognizing the second entrant. "Father."

Lord Hidemoto, Daimyo of the Nishikigoi and the Northern Isles, nodded to Kenichi and took his seat at the head of the shrine. Kenichi's father did not meet his gaze, but walked over to kneel by Lord Hidemoto's side, facing Kenichi.

Kenichi sheathed his sword and extinguished the candle, pushing the small table with the smoking wick to the side wall of the shrine. He knelt as appropriate, and bowed again, forehead to the floor. Neither his Daimyo nor his father said a thing.

"My Lord, to what do I owe this visit?"

Lord Hidemoto considered him for a long moment with a gaze like iron, then spoke. "Kenichi. After long debate with the learned elders, we have judged that there was no wrong-doing involved in the events by the riverside of the Ebi's keep. While being party to the actions of the ninja there was a stain on all our souls, to abandon our allies in a time of need would have been far the greater sin."

Kenichi nodded. "I see. I had not truly thought it in question. We cannot leave our comrades behind if we wish to prove ourselves better than the Irabi and their foul compatriots."

"You do not understand," Lord Hidemoto said. Kenichi felt confused. He thought he heard a strain of cold fury in his voice.

"We have very nearly committed a great, incalculable sin. We have very nearly thrown away the honor that our ancestors treasured and protected for generations in a moment of haste."

"What do you mean, my Lord?" said Kenichi. "If we are to defeat the Irabi and remove their false Shogun, we-"

"Silence, boy, and do not speak until I have finished this. Our honor as a family is our greatest treasure, and we cannot afford to tarnish it by making compromises with the Oaths we have sworn as Samurai. You realize this, yet you allow these foreigners to come and spill the blood of fellow Samurai of the Blessed Isles?"

"The Irabi are-"

"Silence!" Lord Hidemoto roared. "You are impudent, boy, to think you know better than your elders." He breathed deeply, calming himself.

"Kenichi. You have skill beyond measure for your age, and it is possible that in time, you may grow to be among the greatest warriors our family has ever known. Your statue may sit shoulder by shoulder with our treasured ancestors, like Koutoku and Masao of the Brilliant Tides.

"However, you must be careful. You have learned, time and again, that your duty and your honor come first, not your strength. In truth, strength and honor are not one and the same: one who has no honor can be just as strong as one who has kept the Oaths his entire life. What will you be, if you have immense strength and no honor? Will our descendants instead find your name among those as Ryuuru the Vile?

"Your duty is first and foremost to our family and our descendents, and to all the occupants of the Blessed Isles. You cannot compromise on that, or else you will find yourself little better than the Irabi."

"My Lord-" Kenichi swallowed. He needed to pick his words carefully. "My Lord. I understand that foreigners have no place in our affairs, yet we are outnumbered and outmanned by the Irabi, and too distant to easily influence the battles on the continent without committing heavily. We needed them to-" he cut off as his stomach turned over at the look of disgust on his father's face.

Lord Hidemoto frowned. "Do you not understand? What we want has no sway on what is right. If we must choose between what we desire and what we know in our hearts to be the right course, we must choose the latter." He looked down at Kenichi's father. "Explain it to the boy, for it seems he will not listen to me."

Kenichi's father looked at him, expression still cold. "We debated nearly for three days to come to this decision, to see whether working with those foreign demons had truly stained our honor beyond recovery. It has not, but it was close. They must not be allowed to kill another samurai, and you will tell them this. If they shed so much as a single drop of blood from a samurai of the Blessed Isles, we will draw our swords against them as one, even if it means swearing fealty to the Irabi come sunset."

"Father, why would we ever swear fealty to those craven fools? Grandfather would never-"

"My father, your grandfather, would still be alive had we chosen rightly to ignore the plans of the ninja. We may have lost an ally in the Ebi, or the will of the ancestors may have proven their resolve. We will never know."
Kenichi shot to his feet unconsciously. "Grandfather would never have left his allies to die. He would never want us to let a false Shogun rule."

His father looked up at him, that expression of disgust returning. "Idiot boy. Sit down."

Kenichi could feel the blood pumping in his veins. He couldn't sit.

"Obey your father," said Lord Hidemoto, and there was a strength in his voice like braided steel that forced Kenichi to his knees once more with that fire still raging in his chest.

His father sneered at him. "Do the Oaths mean nothing to you? No, you have been corrupted by them, like a tuna swimming among sharks. If you are to be a mercenary, then here is a more mercenary reason. If Irabi Houseki is Shogun, he will rule poorly and go down in history as a tyrant and a fool. Time will march on. What happens if we allow ninja to kill our fellows? What happens if we make it normal for them to move amongst our number, free to poison and cheat and steal, unrestrained by the Oaths?"

"I… I don't know, but that doesn't mean-"

"If you knew what I know about the ninja world, you might think they draw power from depravity, boy. They feel no duty to those of their land, they have no desire to protect and nurture. They care only for themselves, for their own power and hedonistic enjoyment. They have no loyalty to us, or to anyone but themselves. If we permit their actions, then so will the Irabi, and they will all but fight our wars for us. Allow them to run free in the Blessed Isles, and they will rape our country until it is as broken as the lands they call their own."

"No, there is no other option. If the Irabi come to victory, then we will suffer for a generation. If we break our Oaths and let the foreign demons work their foul arts, then our descendants will suffer until the Great Whirlpool comes to return us all to the seas."

Kenichi kept quiet. He had nothing to say, nothing that he could say to his father and Clan Head that would let them see… How could it matter, when the alternative is to leave your comrades to die? Should they not do everything in their power to protect them?

Lord Hidemoto nodded. "If this last reason, purely mechanical and lacking in honor, is the one which satisfies you, Kenichi, then perhaps it is time that you revisit your Oaths. It has been a while since you have spent time amongst the columns. You will tell your ninja allies that they are to interfere no farther."

Kenichi clenched his fists for a moment, then relaxed them. "Yes, My Lord."

"And… perhaps it would be for the best if you sheathed your sword for this battle. You may board a boat back to the Northern Isles if you wish, or you may wait in the city."

"My Lord," Kenichi cut in, "I do not think this is the right course of action. I am a skilled swordsman, and I care deeply for the future of our lands. You must let me fight to protect those of my family, our allies, and all the people of the Blessed Isles."

"Excellently spoken, Kenichi," Lord Hidemoto said with a wry smile, "but I do not believe you have changed your mind in the course of a single conversation. One does not redirect a river by willing it to change, but by laying stones year after year until its path has diverted. You must learn that in fact, it is better to lose with honor than to win at any cost. No, sheathe your sword. I assure you, there is no dishonor in this."

Kenichi looked down into his lap for several long moments, thoughts rushing through his head.

The silence dragged on. Before he could speak again, there was a knock at the door.

"Lord Hidemoto, there is urgent news!"

The Daimyo rose to his feet, nodding again at Kenichi. "Remember our conversation, Kenichi. Meditate on it." He turned to the door. "You may enter. What is the news?"

The messenger girl came in, bowing deeply. "My Lord. The battalions you ordered from the isles, led by Lords Sango, Chikatake, and Masao, have been sunk by the Tai."

Kenichi heard his father gasp, and he could not help but ask, incredulous, "all of them?"

The girl nodded gravely. "I am told the battle could be seen from the highest battlements of the city. There may be survivors clinging to parts of the wreckage, but the ships have all been destroyed. The Tai force that sank them has landed on the opposite side of the city as the Irabi and is marching in. They are going to pincer us, sir."

Kenichi felt faint. Three battalions, each of forty samurai… A hundred and twenty dead, his family cut in half in a mere instant. He knew there would be death, but this… how many of his friends were among the dead? How many of his cousins?

If Lord Hidemoto's gaze was iron before, it was now the coldest steel. He looked at Kenichi and read his face. "Remember my words boy. Go, tell your 'friends' what they are not to do."

His Daimyo swept out of the room, his father a step behind. He paused to shoot a contemptuous glance at his son. Kenichi looked at him helplessly, and he scoffed and turned away.

The messenger girl left him. Kenichi glanced back at the candle, gripped the hilt of his sheathed sword, then started to run.


"Hrrghh… What's the issue here?" said the groggy swordsman.

Kakashi gestured at Zabuza to get atop the wall, where the samurai defenders of the city were giving the gathered ninja a healthy distance. Shizuka gave Zabuza a cursory glance, then returned her gaze to the horizon.

"Nothing much. Sounds like the Nishakawhatever reinforcements got screwed over on the way here by the Tai."

Zabuza looked at him and barked a short laugh. "Hah. Knew I should have dealt with the Tai earlier. If the idiots call themselves masters of the sea without being able to tread water, they're gonna learn that there are real sharks under their feet."

"No can do. Spoke with your Nishikifishboy earlier and he said they don't want us interfering at all. Or spilling a drop of samurai blood, if you want to go by the letter of the law. Sounds like we got ourselves a day off."

"Ugh," said Zabuza, as he reached over and grabbed the hilt of his sword, almost for comfort. "Pain in the ass."

"Yeah," said Kakashi. "Samurai, am I right?"

"Samurai."

Kakashi continued looking out over the edge. Zabuza looked out beside him for a long minute.

"So… what does all this mean?" the hulking man asked.

Kakashi gestured. "They're the armies attacking the city. The defenders are pretty outnumbered, but they knew this was coming. They've been preparing for a siege, but given the temporary nature of the Umineko alliance, it may be better for them if the enemies push the fight right away."

"So is that the enemy army?" Zabuza said, drawing his sword and holding the massive hunk of metal out with a straight arm to point. Showoff. Nearby samurai were watching him closely, hands on their blades.

"Mix and match. That one's the Irabi, that's the one your guy keeps on going on about," Kakashi said, pointing. "They're pretty tough still. That one there's the Ebi, those are the guys we helped out earlier. They're marching in to help us defend the walls."

Zabuza looked over, then squinted. "The Ebi are tiny."

"Yeah."

"They're far from the city and the Irabi massively outnumber them."

"Yeah."

"The Irabi could fall on them, defeat them in detail, then come at the city with less defenders behind the walls."

"Yeah."

"Why aren't they doing that?"

"Samurai."

"Fucking hell."

"Yeah," Kakashi said.

"Okay, who are those?" Zabuza said, raising his sword to point at another group of approaching samurai.

Shizuka spoke for the first time. "They're the Ashika."

"Ah, yeah, remember seeing that crest on that island. Are-"

"They're fighting with the Irabi."

Zabuza looked at Shizuka. "What?"

"They're fighting with the Irabi. Maybe it was Benizake or Tai that got to them. They're definitely marching under a banner with their crest, but with the colors of the new Irabi Shogun."

Zabuza grit his teeth. "Bastards. Made me waste a perfectly good afternoon killing monsters. I thought the Fish Clan had negotiated them into joining up with us?"

Shizuka nodded. "The Nishikigoi thought so too. They've been disheartened at seeing the banners. They think there was some internal tension that was exploited."

"Hmph," said Zabuza. "I wonder why they didn't wear our colors until they got into the city, then sabotage the defenses from the inside. Even raising the gates would destroy the ability to keep a defensive line. Oh wait, let me guess. Samurai."

"Samurai," Kakashi echoed.

"Other than that," Shizuka continued, "things have gone as expected. The Umineko arrived at the city last night, and are committed to the defense of the city. The Tako and Kimura troops have long since been ready to fight. Likewise, the Benikaze and the Buri are well prepared on the other side. You can see their machines there," she said, gesturing at a variety of haphazardly constructed devices. Kakashi eyed them for a second, noting all their ladders and towers. Were they supposed to be used to help climb walls?

"Never mind that, what's with those guys?" Zabuza said, pointing to the ground where it seemed like the Clan Heads of the Nishikigoi and Kimura were walking out to the Irabi camp in full battle regalia.

"They're going out to negotiate terms of combat," said Shizuka. She sounded bored. "They don't fight to the last man here, as a rule, though their battles are to the death. Unless negotiations go really poorly, they will negotiate terms of surrender and exchange signals so that either side can know as soon as their leaders have sent the order to stop fighting, so no blood is unnecessarily spilt."

Zabuza looked at Shizuka, eyes narrow. "Why wouldn't they just fake the signals to get the enemy to stop fighting, then use the time to regroup and slaughter them?"

"Samurai," said Kakashi.

"Samurai," said Zabuza.

They waited a moment.

"Samurai," said Shizuka.

"Fucking idiots," said Zabuza. "So do we do anything?"

"Well, if we do, we have plenty of time. The fighting should start fairly soon after these negotiations," Shizuka said, gesturing out to where the two allied Clan Heads seemed to be speaking with the Irabi Clan Head. "If they haven't breached the city by sundown, they'll most likely break for the day, and repeat until one side gives their surrender signal."

"Like children coming home at sunset because they know that's when their dinners are ready," Kakashi said.

"Well, for what it's worth," Shizuka said, "the Kimura family is known for its fortifications. This is possibly the most defensible city on the island, so we may get to see them take multiple breaks for dinner. I wonder if they take breaks for lunch and snacks too?"

She delivered the line dryly, earning a snort from Kakashi and Zabuza. He noticed her faint smile before she returned back to the calm stare over the horizon.

Kakashi looked out at the negotiations. The Irabi Clan Head was also the Shogun they all hated, right? That would explain why his regalia was so much bigger and ornamental than the others. He was standing out on his own now, outnumbered two to one next to the allied Clan Heads. They could strike him down now and trigger the fighting immediately – something they would have wanted anyway with the ticking timer of their narrowly-bought Umineko allies. Come to think of it, the Irabi man was even in range of a Radiant Bolt…

"It sounds to me like, no matter what, the fate of this country is going to be decided here," Kakashi said.

"Got any bright ideas?" Zabuza asked. "I can count well enough to tell there are five clans on their side and five on ours, but theirs are big and strong while ours are small and weak."

"Speaking neutrally, the chance that the alliance holds the keep is maybe a coinflip at best," said Shizuka. "That said, even if they hold the keep, they may not break the enemy army. Unless they earn a complete surrender, the fighting on the island could go on for months."

"No," said Kakashi, "I don't mean that it's possible that the country's fate will be decided here. I mean I've decided that it will be. Look, here's what we do…"

---

Voting Time! What do you do now?

Here are some options to get you started.
[] Radiant Bolt the Irabi Shogun. Why not skip to the end of this plotline?
[] Be subtle. Get involved in breaking apart the enemy army, but don't let them know that there's ninja killing them.
[] Follow the letter, but not the spirit. Don't kill the enemy samurai, but confuse their commanders with genjutsu, give false signals, and do all the obvious things that they're not doing.
[] Don't interfere. Wait it out until the allies are desperate enough to give Zabuza carte blanche, then give Zabuza carte blanche.
[] Write-in.

Remember, we use approval voting, so you can vote for as many plans as you like. Feel free to ping @Paperclipped or @MMKII to ask setting or detail questions that Kakashi could plausibly know.

Voting is open, and closes at 12pm Pacific time, Friday August 05.

Shizuka popped into existence beside the Nishikigoi kid. He was running a whetstone up and down his blade, and he jerked violently as she substituted with the boulder that he was half-leaning against. A handful of nearby militiamen reacted with a start as well, hands reaching down to their weapons in response to her presence, but their reactions dissolved into a slew of dark mutterings and glares.

"Calm down," Shizuka said. She put her hands up to ease Kenichi's twitchy nerves. "If I wanted to kill you I would have done it on the ship over here. There would have been less trouble."

The young samurai let out a breath of air and looked over at her with a small smile. Shizuka did not miss the tiredness in the boy's face, or the flash of annoyance in his eyes. "I'll take that to heart. Is there some development I should be made aware of? The fighting should start any minute now."

"We have arranged for a signaling mechanism," Shizuka said. She pulled a handful of small capsules out of one of her pouches before reaching out to present them. "These capsules contain various reagents inside segmented compartments on the interior. When mixed, they will rapidly produce a large cloud of red smoke. They will break with sufficient force, such as if you dash them against the ground or step on them. We will be observing the battle from a vantage point, and will intervene at your signal."

Nishikigoi Kenichi took the handful of smoke bombs with a small frown. "I see. You are all clear on the rules of engagement? The ninja I have hired cannot spill a drop of blood."

Shizuka stared at him for a moment, before nodding. "You have made it abundantly clear."

This is so foolish, she thought. Annoyance bit at her thoughts, but she brushed it aside. Why am I bothering to help these idealistic morons again?

Nishikigoi Kenichi returned the nod after a moment. "Alright then. I hope that I will have no need of your services shortly. Thank you, Miss Shizuka."

Shizuka shrugged, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. She vaulted over the prepared defenses, the various ditches and trenches and makeshift walls, and ran up Shimeno's inner wall to rejoin the other two ninja. Hatake glanced up from one of his porn books as she did so.

"You gave the kid the smoke bombs?" he asked.

"Yes," Shizuka responded. She frowned behind her mask. "In accordance with your recommendation I neglected to mention that if he actually used them, we would come down like a storm on any enemies surrounding the position."

"Excellent," the Copy Ninja replied. The cyclops turned back to his smut. "In that case, we might have something to do today after all. I feel bad for deceiving the kid, but we'll see if he uses them."

Shizuka shrugged. "Why do you think that he will join the fray? Wasn't he barred from participating?"

"Yeah," Hatake said. "But something tells me that Fishsticks has less of an ability to sit by and twiddle his scaly thumbs while his family fights, than I can flap my arms and fly through the air like a seagull."

Shizuka snorted.

"Heh," Momochi said. chuckling from his resting place a few feet away. The massive swordsman lay flat against the top of the great wall, staring up at the cloudy sky. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Storm's kickin' up soon. Hour or two."

Shizuka looked up at the sky and frowned. "It does look cloudy."

Hatake looked up from his book and cocked his head for a long moment. "Yup. Thunderstorm. The air is ever so slightly charged."

Shizuka wondered if that was a line of bullshit, or if the Copy Ninja was actually able to predict thunderstorms with the lightning element.





The sounds of battle roared all around him, but Kenichi was still standing there in the market stall.

Useless, he thought. I should be out there fighting!

But he had been ordered to sit out this battle, and he was sworn to obey. He couldn't risk his honor, or that of the clan's, over the outcome of one battle.

But you could make a difference. What if your presence is the difference between victory and defeat? Life and death? For one of your clan, or even for Father?

The discipline accrued over years of samurai training allowed him to banish the errant thoughts and justifications that were running through his mind.

I can't.

A horn sounded and Kenichi looked up. That was the signal for the city to surrender.

They had lost.

Kenichi's spirits fell and he sank in his armor. He stared at the stones that paved the market square.

What was the point of all of this? Just to lose at the end? He thought. Perhaps Zabuza and the Copy Ninja would be able to put together some daring plan that he would be able to execute. Surely it wasn't over…

Wait.

Kenichi lifted his head. He strained to listen.

The sounds of battle hadn't stopped at the horn.

Kenichi started shaking as realization hit him. "Those bastards, they're ignoring the surrender. Why!?"

There was a crash and a chorus of screams. He turned his head sharply and looked down the street. There, at the very end of the street, was a group of Kimura samurai running towards him. A contingent of spearmen and axe wielders were in hot pursuit. The allied samurai were weaponless.

Kenichi drew his sword and charged forward with a scream.

"Bastards!"

Kenichi hadn't suffered through months of physical conditioning with Zabuza and Drunk Old Hermit lady for nothing. Chakra burned through his body, the life energy enhancing his physical capabilities to supernatural heights, and he punctuated his charge with a sweeping slash that bit into the right flank of the group of Irabi spearmen. Several spearheads knocked uselessly against his armor, and one or two more hit the unprotected spaces in between the metal, but the blades glanced harmlessly against the Adamant Scales.

Kenichi leapt backwards several feet to give himself more space to maneuver. He lifted his katana and held it forwards in a two-handed grip.

"Come and get your prize, you honorless bottom-feeders!" Kenichi yelled.

The enemies obliged him.





"What is that idiot doing?" Shizuka said, her voice a hushed whisper. Kakashi quickly stowed his book away and looked over the battle below. The Irabi forces had breached the walls minutes ago, and were making their way through various barricades and defensive fortifications that were erected in the buildings and the streets nearby the southern gate.

But where is the samurai kid? Kakashi thought. Last he checked the kid was still pacing around a few blocks down. Had he already joined the fighting?

"There," Shizuka said, extending an arm to point as she did so. Kakashi followed where she was pointing and saw Nishikigoi. He was standing against a contingent of opponents.

"He's outnumbered ten to one," Kakashi said breathlessly. "Momochi, it's go time."

The Swordsman needed no other signal. He flipped onto his feet and jumped right off of the wall.

Shizuka turned her head sharply. "Should we not wait for the signal?"

"Fuck the signal," Kakashi said. "Kid's going to get himself killed. I thought he would ride out and join the fighting, not attempt some heroic last stand. Go bail him out."

Shizuka vanished from the battlements. A heavy thudding sound accompanied by a cacophony of screams signaled Zabuza's descent into the fray. Kakashi quickly looked around and observed the rest of the fighting from his vantage point, did some calculations under his breath, before breaking out into some hand seals.

"Earth Element: Earth Clone."

A flash of light shot through the dark clouds above, followed seconds later by a booming thunderclap. Kakashi felt the icy chill of winter raindrops impacting his scalp.





Kakashi landed on the rooftop just as Shizuka's thrown kunai landed. The attached explosive detonated moments later, the concussive blast throwing a spray of body parts and gore everywhere. A detached arm flew over his head, thin ropes of blood trailing in its wake as it sailed through the air. Some of it spattered on him, and Kakashi absently wiped off his forehead protector as he took the scene in. Zabuza, it seemed, was taking his sweet time to get there.

Or maybe he was just being thorough, Kakashi noted. There were probably a few scores of enemies in between where he landed and Fishsticks's location. Given the various complaints and comments Kakashi had overheard during their short and unpleasant time together, the Demon of the Hidden Mist was probably itching for something resembling a proper fight.

Kakashi wasn't going to stand in his way, though he pitied those who did.

The smoke cleared, revealing a dumbstruck Kenichi and a large group of scrambling samurai before him. They clumped together and retreated slightly, and so Shizuka was once again easily able to blow half of them to bloody bits.

One thing that was immediately apparent from their stay in Sea Country was that the samurai were entirely incapable of dealing with a well-equipped ninja force that had jounin level combatants. Their only options seemed to be to swarm the ninja with numbers or run away with their tails tucked firmly between their legs.

Shizuka landed down next to Fishsticks and seemed to argue with him for a few moments. Kakashi couldn't make out the words, but he guessed at the content of the conversation. If he were in the kid's place, he wouldn't be too keen to leave either. Unfortunately, the battle was a foregone conclusion.

The wall of one of the buildings on the far side of the street exploded outwards with a deafening crash. Momochi flew across the ground, waded into one end of the samurai group and out the other, killing two of them as he did so. The Demon of the Hidden Mist sprinted at Nishikigoi Kenichi, a single arm outstretched, and picked the teenage samurai up with it, armor and all, like a cat picking up its kitten. Zabuza continued onward down the street, changing direction sharply as he hit the main intersection of the thoroughfare.

Kakashi's gaze returned to the market square but Shizuka was already gone.

Predictable.

A dull roar of screams and shouts echoed as a battalion of samurai charged down the street. At the head of the charge was a man in ornate armor, flanked by several older looked samurai, who in turn were surrounded by literal bannermen. They carried a standard of an inky black eel.

That's our new shogun, looks like, Kakashi thought. He pulled out a storage seal and unsealed a boulder— always good to have a valid substitution target on hand in case you needed to make a hasty exit— and jumped down to the street below. Kakashi walked slowly to the center of the market square and turned to face the samurai that were running his way.

The Irabi forces reached the square and slowed to a crawl as they noticed his presence. They surrounded him in a half circle.

"Yo!" Kakashi yelled. He waved at the Irabi Clan Head. "Clan Head guy, new Shogun, whatever. That's you?"

The man stepped forward. "Filthy shinobi. Have you come to assassinate me at my hour of victory? I knew that these Nishikigoi bastards were not worth gutter scum, but to think that they would sink so low as to hire some of your kind to secure my death. Despicable."

Kakashi blinked. "Uh. Didn't you hire ninja too?"

The samurai beat a hand against his chest. "I have hired advisors! Not assassins and bloodthirsty mercenaries! Don't think for a moment that we cannot put together the signs. You thieving brutes steal from my family, my allies, and you enter our camps at night to murder us in our sleep! Thank the Storm God that I am soon to ascend the Coral Throne, if this is the sort of behavior that the other clans support. Perhaps after a few generations we can sail to your countries and begin giving your kind their just desserts!"

The man spat on the ground at that one.

…

Kakashi Substituted with the boulder he left on the rooftop and uncovered Obito's eye.

"Hmm. Interesting. Y'know what I think about that?" Kakashi called down from his perch. His voice was calm, steady. His hands blurred into hand seals. "I think I'm a sore loser. I also think I'm feeling a bit petty at the moment, especially after that little speech, so fuck honor, fuck the samurai, and fuck you in particular."

"Ninja cur! Men, forwards!"

The bolt of lightning flew from Kakashi's hand and into the clouds overhead. Kakashi looked over to the wall expectantly. Sure enough, after a few seconds, the monolithic structure teetered and pitched violently. Thousands of tons of stone collapsed onto the surrounding environment, kicking up a massive cloud of dust in its wake.

I love clone techniques, Kakashi thought. It had been a stroke of genius to leave two behind to collapse the walls at his signal.

The samurai below kicked up into a frenzy, but Kakashi didn't miss a beat.

He formed the hand seals for Radiant Bolt once more, closing his eye and aiming with Obito's. The lance of lightning impacted the would-be-shogun's metal armor, and the man fell to the floor. The smell of cooked flesh filled the air for a brief instant, before the dust cloud consumed everything in sight.

"I really was this close to ending this bullshit without resorting to murdering my way through it," Kakashi muttered. "Damn samurai and their crazy ideals. I hope the kid isn't too pissed about this one."

Kakashi ran across the rooftops towards the center castle.

Still have to get Sugiyama out of here, he thought. I hope they can patch the Nishikigoi kid up. He looked pretty messed up.




Momochi Zabuza kicked the iron door in and Kakashi followed behind the giant.

"Fucking shittin' me," Momochi groused. "The fuck was the point of all of this? We're doing this the hard way at the end of the day anyway. Shoulda killed more of them that night, and the day after, and the day before. For fuck's sake. Fucking samurai cunts."

"I hear you," Kakashi said. He glanced in the cells as they walked past. "I'm just about out of patience myself. This is the third town jail we've broken into. How many little old ladies can these people possibly have in lock up?"

Momochi snorted. "Gonna have one less by the end of the day. I have half a mind to spend the next couple nights murdering these samurai fucks, but I want off this gods forsaken rock of a country more. That kid from Mist that you told me about had some intel about some others that I can track down."

Interesting. Kakashi hummed at that. "Trying for round two?"

"Nah," Momochi said. His voice was simmering with an undercurrent of tranquil fury. "Not gonna be trying the second time. For fuck's sake, finally!"

The Demon in the Hidden Mist stopped in front of one particular cell and held his arms up in the air. "What are you doing in here, you crazy old cunt? Don't give me any bullshit, I know you coulda broke out in ten fuckin' seconds."

Kakashi peered into the cell. The figure inside was wearing an orange colored robe, almost like a monk's robe, or similar religious garb. The woman was old, ancient even, by his standards. Her face was wrinkled and worn with age, and her head was entirely bald. There was a small, jagged bit of rusty metal tied to the cloth belt she wore.

Most notably, the woman was missing her right arm, or so it appeared.

"Eh," Drunk Old Hermit lady said. The woman shrugged. "Food was halfway decent, and the guards started bringing me free booze after I broke the fingers off of one of them."

Kakashi had thought that the phrase "turned red with rage" was mostly an embellishment that Jiraiya used to stylishly paint a picture to the reader, but one look at Momochi's reddening complexion and throbbing temples quickly disabused him of that notion.

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Zabuza screamed. The Demon of the Hidden Mist gestured wildly for a moment.

Kakashi stared at Momochi as he went on a tirade of increasingly colorful anatomically-based expletives. His eye left the old swordsmistress, but he felt it in the air when she started moving.

BANG-BANG

Kakashi blinked, and suddenly Zabuza was embedded in the ruins of the hallway's stone wall, pinned in place with the broken remnants of an iron cell bar stabbed right through his shoulder. The Demon of the Hidden Mist ripped himself out of the wall with a curse and a spray of blood, though it was one that was considerably more polite than the ones he was just using.

Kakashi looked at the old woman, who was in the hallway now and dusting her hand off nonchalantly.

Holy shit.

Kakashi readied a Substitution and observed the situation. If Zabuza took offense at the attack, things might get pretty dicey in close quarters. He could Substitute away and then tunnel out as an escape plan possibly…

But Momochi seemed to just grumble and bandage himself up. Like it didn't happen.

Weird.

"Don't take that tone with me, Shit," Drunk Old Hermit Lady said. The old woman looked at Kakashi and her eyes narrowed. "And who are you? Where's my scaly student?"

Kakashi laughed nervously. "Kenichi? My medic is taking care of him right now, actually. He was wounded in battle."

"Hmph," Drunk Old Hermit Lady said. She peered at Zabuza as he slowly bandaged his shoulder. "Guess both of you runts need to go over the Blocking lesson again. Oh well."

Zabuza groaned.




Kenichi's eyes shot open and he forced himself upright. Pain shot through his chest muscles and his legs as he did so. He felt tired, his thoughts were moving at a snail's pace, and his reflexes seemed unresponsive. A wave of nausea hit him, and he shakily wretched over the side of the makeshift hospital bed. He looked at his surroundings, which looked to be some nondescript room, one with plain decorations and well-worn floors.

A tavern or an inn? He thought. Kenichi winced as his head throbbed.

The door to the room opened, and Hatake's fortune teller companion strode in.

"Lie back down," Sugiyama said. The medic's voice was crisp and clear, and it left no room for error. "You were at death's door when the Shipwreck delivered you here, young samurai. It took work to prevent your passing, and I would prefer it if you do not attempt to subvert my efforts."

"Where is this?" Kenichi said. "And the battle, what happened?"

Sugiyama gestured at the room. "We are inside an inn that the Copy Ninja has rented out for the week. It is on the northern shore of your country, not far from where they believe your teacher is being held. The ninja search for her as we speak."

The fortune teller paused for a long moment. "I won't attempt to soften the truth. The battle was a loss, and as far as I was told your family and their allies were defeated. There was no surrender, it seems."

Kenichi's blood turned to ice. "No surrender? How? That's… that doesn't…"

He trailed off as the implications caught up to him.

"It is possible that they took prisoners," Sugiyama continued. "But that is not currently something you should concern yourself about, in your state. If it's any consolation, the Copy Ninja and your fellow swordsman wrought great destruction upon your enemies in retaliation. Irabi Houseki is dead, and I am told it will take several years of construction to repair the inner city wall of your country's capital."

Kenichi shifted in the bed at the last sentence. "What!? But they were told—"

The fortune teller walked forward and forced him back with firm hands. "I told you to lie down and be still, boy. If you keep moving around, you'll reopen those gashes and spill what little blood remains in your meatsack all over that bed."

Kenichi found himself forced back down.

I shouldn't be this weak, he thought. The fortune teller was a ninja, as far as he could tell, but they were a non-combatant. Was he truly that injured? Kenichi flexed a hand experimentally. His fingers moved slowly. He tried the same with his toes, and they were similarly unresponsive.

Kenichi looked the fortune teller in the eyes. "My body is not responding to me. What have you done?'

Sugiyama met his gaze with a neutral stare. "I was advised that you might be hysterical upon waking, and so I took measures accordingly so that you wouldn't rip yourself to bits immediately. It will wear off within the day."

The medic waved a hand at his body. "Now, about your prognosis. I regretfully inform you that you will not be able to perform any strenuous physical activity for the next handful of weeks. That and a few more days of medical care should suffice, surprisingly enough."

Sugiyama coughed. Wisps of blue smoke escaped into the air as they did so. "However, I must note something. In the interests of full disclosure, I would be remiss if I did not inform you that upon initial diagnosis with medical chakra, I found some startling information about your chakra system. It is underdeveloped in some ways, but exceedingly overdeveloped in others. Doubtless, due to whatever training you've undergone to be able to wield chakra in the manner that you have. The balance of spiritual and physical energies within you is exceedingly skewed towards the physical."

Huh. This was the first time that Kenichi had heard anything like that, but Sugiyama was likely the first user of medical chakra in recent history to give care to a samurai

Sugiyama paused for a second. "Such an imbalance is… not necessarily healthy. I advise that you do more meditation in the future. That is all."

Kenichi nodded. "I see. Thank you for the treatment."

…

"I think I would like to be alone for a while, please."

---

Voting remains closed.

I had hoped to get this out on Friday night, but that didn't turn out to be in the cards. More scenes to follow, but maybe not til the QM spoon drawer gets a refill or I suddenly find myself with a bunch of free time. I'll be quite busy this month, but I'll still be dropping interludes every week or so.