Lost on the Road of Life (An AU Naruto Quest)

RandomOTP · Aug 18, 2022

A Sugiyama Update!!!

MMKII said:
Hatake Kakashi spent the next several hours idly reading, eating, and making small talk before finally succumbing once more to the signals that his exhausted body was surely screaming at him. Sugiyama made sure to place a glass of drinking water and a chilled mug of herbal tea on the windowsill of the back room, in case the ninja happened to wake up in the middle of the night. They spared the boy a glance on their way out to the small waiting room in the front of the building.

Kakashi tired himself out, yelling at Sugiyama.

I'll admit that it's a little annoying to see Kakashi reduced to "boy" in Sugiyama's mind... however, the gap in emotional maturity is huge. And I know that I've met people who are (physically) twice my age who act half my age. And I've fallen into similar mindsets.

MMKII said:
He looks so young, for a battle-hardened soldier, Sugiyama thought. Younger still for one who weaves magic with the blood and bones of reality, and has some proficiency in the Emperor's arts to boot. He cannot be more than half of my current life's age.

Woot, someone recognizes that Kakashi has been through the wringer. Also that he has an impressive amount of skill with Very Difficult Arts.

Also: "half?"

We know that Sugiyama spend ~15 years in Honey, but this gives us a clearer age for Sugiyama. I estimate 35-50, but I'm leaning more towards 35-40, even if Sugiyama plays up the "listen here, you young child" social leverage with Shizuka later in this update.

MMKII said:
Sugiyama slipped through the thick purple curtains. A heavy-lidded Shizuka stood watch from a rickety wooden chair in the far corner of the entrance room. The little shack wasn't spacious by any means, the only other room was a small room to the side of the entrance that served as a cramped, makeshift kitchen. There were holes in the ceiling and the wood was getting old and was probably mostly rotten through by this point to boot. There was a new gaping hole in the siding where the Shipwreck had casually ran through, that Sugiyama had draped a curtain over. They had propped up what remains of the wall with a few dozen stone bricks stacked together, but it was a makeshift job. The little building would be colder this winter.

We should use MEW to fix Sugiyama's home. Maybe we can spend FP on it? [As a Declaration]

MMKII said:
The little building would be colder this winter.

Interesting language here. Sugiyama is personifying the house, a little bit. They're not saying "it would be a cold winter this year," or "I'll be cold, this winter." Instead, they say that "the little building would be colder this winter."

I wonder if Sugiyama, with their mysterious Sight, can see the budding Soul of the house they've lived in for 15 years? If, over time, a house collects personality to it (pencil marks on doorframes, marking the growth of children, little dings and bumps in the wall that aren't noticeable, scuff marks that blend with the floorboards, etc). A little like the phrase "it gives it character," but true.

And don't think that I didn't notice how Sugiyama didn't call their house their "home." They've lived there for 15 years. A decade and a half. You'd think that they'd grow more attached to their place of residence, even if in a begrudging way. Maybe having an emotional investment in your place of residence accelerates that place's growth into a petty "god." Not a very powerful god, or even as powerful as a spren... but a Lares (roman god of the particular household your family lives in, a guardian spirit, almost).

Or maybe the place that Sugiyama initially fled from (before they settled in Honey) is their heart's home, even after all this time?

[If the first, what will having Kakashi's chakra/soulstuff being used in its reconstruction do to its metaphysical development?]

MMKII said:
"You don't look to be in good shape to be up watching, Quiet One," Sugiyama said. "How long has it been since you visited the land of dreams?"

Shizuka blinked blearily and yawned. "Not since we were asleep at the Sasu compound. Just about two days."

Shizuka, to her credit, only looked mildly tired on the surface. The girl's dark brown hair was mildly disheveled, and her blue eyes were bloodshot, but that was it. It was the years of experience of reading people that revealed the subtle tells of the shinobi's inner struggle with her own physical limits.

SUGIYAMA: "My numbers are bigger than yours."

MMKII said:
"I'll wait until morning," Shizuka said. "Hatake will be awake by then, and even half-dead he's still a force to be reckoned with. I'll sleep more comfortably with another combat ninja awake."

Rude, but also fair.

MMKII said:
Sugiyama noted the specific phrasing of 'combat ninja', but chose not to make a comment on it. They gave a small shrug, and pulled out their newly acquired pip and a pouch of ground herb mix. They lit it with some amount of trouble fussing around with one of the half-dozen candles burning lazily around the room, and took a long drag.

No fire cantrips for lighting the pipe? I wonder if the utilization of chakra would affect the taste?

MMKII said:
And if there was a greater herbalist in Honey Country than Sugiyama the fortuneteller, then they had certainly never bothered to come within spitting distance of Yahashibetsu.

Really glad that we picked Sugiyama. They're pretty cool ^.^

MMKII said:
"I'll be staying up regardless," Sugiyama said. Puffs of green colored smoke trailed through the air with the words. The effort invested in learning the Smoke Manipulation Technique had, by now, paid for itself countless times over. "I have much to think on, this evening."

New Combat Plan: Kakashi Makes a Big Fucking Fire, Sugiyama takes the Smoke and Shoves it Somewhere Else ~~(into the enemies, preferably)~~

MMKII said:
Shizuka nodded slowly, carefully, as if she was reaching for a poisonous snake. "It must be a lot to take in."-

"I just watched the best telenovela of my life, and I must know more."

MMKII said:
"It's unusual," Sugiyama said. They erupted into a small coughing fit. "But there is worse that could happen than being informed of a few months of thrilling adventure and decent deeds done that one is incapable of remembering."

Side effect of the smoke inhalation? Lung cancer, which the smoke is (in an ironic twist) treatment for (like how certain breathing treatments are used to treat asthma/flu symtoms/other such things?

MMKII said:
Sugiyama frowned at Shizuka and narrowed their eyes. "I noticed your questioning towards the beginning of the tale. Hatake leapt forwards to protect an ally in battle, and you were confused as to why. It was artfully done, he was too tired to realize you were clumsily fishing around for some of his internal motivations, but the true answer left you confused."

SUGIYAMA: "My numbers are bigger than yours."

MMKII said:
Shizuka paused at the unspoken question hanging in the air. "It seemed strange to me. He seems like an incredibly selfish, calculating, and distant person. He is incredibly annoying on purpose, and even his attempts at closeness are awkward and seem forced. Yet he leaps to protect strangers in the middle of battle. Strangers like that shinobi girl in Snow, someone who was actively fighting him not days beforehand."

"Bro needs therapy."

MMKII said:
"I suppose that fits," Shizuka finally said. "He ran forward and sliced through that clan elder's lightning ninjutsu, and he almost made it look easy. But I couldn't help but notice the similarities to what happened with the other shinobi in Snow. He's a jounin, he probably could have just dodged it, or Substituted away. The whole fight out of the compound seemed odd in retrospect. There were a fair number of Earth Element jutsu that he mentioned using in some of those fights he talked about today. By the time his Shadow Clone blew up the hive, he could have simply used one of them to escape and left me to die. But it was never even something he considered, he leapt right into outlining an action plan that allowed the both of us to fight our way out."

Kakashi wants to be a good person, or, perhaps, is a good person. But that core essence of himself is buried underneath nine layers of trauma, and he exists in a world where it is very hard to be a good person.

His father was a good person, and presumably raised Kakashi with these standards. Sakumo tried to be a good person in a bad world, and was punished for it. And Sakumo, for any of a hundred different reasons, killed himself. So Kakashi, having just seen the consequences of goodness, was left abandoned.

So Kakashi was left alone, until Minato picked him up. And Minato showed Kakashi it was safe to love again. Minato protected Kakashi, nurturing the child until he lowered his guard and allowed his new found family in.

Through Minato, Kakashi found a friend in Gai. Kakashi found a brother in Minato. Kakashi found a sister(?) in Rin. Kakashi found a second father in Minato, a maternal figure in Kushina.

But Obito died, then Rin. And then Kushina died, and Minato soon followed. And Kakashi betrayed Gai by betraying Leaf (unless Gai knows about the Intangible Man the Kakashi's Plausibly Deniable Mission).

Kakashi is, at his core, a good person. But his trauma makes it hard for him to be one.

We'll get him there. Kicking or screaming, we'll get him there.

MMKII said:
"Of course I am!" Shizuka whispered. The girl's voice was slightly squeaky, the words shook slightly as they fell from her lips. "That was Tsunade of the Sannin in here earlier. Do you know what my father did to her and her teammates? If she knew who I really was, she would pick me up and skip me halfway across the ocean—like a child skipping a stone over a pond! And that's only partly hyperbole. Still, he's a powerful ninja, apparently one with a frightening knack for coming out on top in dicey situations, if his story is to be believed. We were at a massive numbers disadvantage in that compound, but it didn't end up mattering a fraction as much as you would have expected."

Kakashi wouldn't have survived that meeting, either. Maybe revealed Hiruzen's tacit support, but depending on rolls, I could see Tsunade shrugging and saying "good, then Hiruzen will let you go once I drag your ass back. Shadow work has always been Jiraiya's stuff, not mine."

MMKII said:
Sugiyama wondered idly if Shizuka was really the girl's name at all, if she was running around worrying about people looking for her. The fortuneteller inhaled, then exhaled. This time, the smoke was a dusty blue, with tiny glittering sparkles.

The sheen of lapis lazuli to set the mood.

Different colors = different drugs = different secondhand effects = subtle control over conversation?
Different colors = different environment = color theory, influence on moods = subtle control over conversation?
Different colors = different mental notecards = subtle preparedness = more effective manipulation of conversation?

MMKII said:
"There were two ninja in here some days ago," Sugiyama said, not missing a beat. They nodded towards the somewhat-covered hole in the wall. "The larger one with the large sword left that in his wake. It was most disconcerting, I was sure that my time in this life was drawing to a close, but a twist of fate intervened to stay the boy's hand, and the Honored Healer came in the door scant seconds afterward. I, apparently, was not fated to die at that moment. They were here looking for the Copy Ninja."

Oof.

MMKII said:
"Momochi Zabuza," Shizuka breathed. Sugiyama could almost sense the adrenaline coursing through the girl's exhausted body at the revelation. "That man has one of the highest bounties in the world right now. You say he was here trying to hunt down Hatake?"

Eager for money, or scared of danger? Fight, flight, or fawn? I doubt fawn would be present. Given Shizuka's specialty, I'm thinking "flight."

MMKII said:
"You people are insane," Shizuka whispered. She resumed staring at the wall.

You can forgive someone without extending trust back to them. You can drop the bitterness eating away at your heart, you can leave the weights off your shoulders remaining vulnerable to their harm.

But also yes.

MMKII said:
Sugiyama coughed. "I did not say that I would like it, young one. That is a different matter entirely. I was told long ago that the essence of wisdom is recognizing the difference between desire and necessity, and bridging the gaps between. The roads we travel across the paths will inevitably require it of us."

Hm, another reason why Sugiyama spent most of their time in outlying hamlets, healing civilians? Not just boredom with the mission, or a lack of suitability for combat, but also because of grudge/distrust/disgust at Zabz? All compounding factors.

I also note that Zabuza is less emotionally mature than Kakashi, and far more confrontational (with maybe a peppering of "alpha male" bullshit, considering the way Zabuza decided to ask for Kakashi's help). I could see Sugiyama growing very tired of Zabz's company, very quickly.

I find myself glad that Sugiyama wasn't forced to interact with Zabuza, and that they made Zabuza treat his own goddamned wound.

MMKII said:
"You already knew that the Copy Ninja was pursued by powerful shinobi," Sugiyama said. The seer shrugged to dispel portions of the lingering unease undoubtedly coursing through the Rain ninja. "The one known as Dragon apparently came to hunt him down in Demon Country, and you participated in that battle firsthand. And yet you admit to considering teaming up with the man enough to weigh it seriously against that. This tells me that you are either lacking a great deal of common sense, or that you are in need of the help of a powerful ninja with a versatile skill set."

"You're still here, aren't you? Let me make you remind yourself of why, even if I don't know why."

MMKII said:
"THIS ONE KNOWS MUCH THAT IT REFUSES TO TELL," The Lost Library mused from within the satchel that it was currently stowed away in. "PERHAPS EVEN A THING OR TWO THAT YOU WOULD ENJOY HEARING, GHOST, IF YOU WOULD BUT ASK! THE TRUE QUESTION: WILL IT LOOSEN ITS GRIP ON ITS PRECIOUS SECRETS, OR WILL IT CLING TO THEM EVEN HARDER IN DESPERATION?"

I like how the gods' dialogue is in smaller font, denoting the general weakness of them and the fact that their "age" as "passed," according to Sugiyama.

MMKII said:
" One can survive in this world by lying to others," Sugiyama explained. The ghost gestured idly with their pipe, as if it would somehow make Shizuka understand (though this was a meaningless effort). "Though this is true, it is surely the case that death comes the instant that that same lie is believed by the self. Self-deception is not to be experimented with lightly."

"You can defend yourself with lies, yes. But never believe your own lies, because that will mean you make decisions on bad intel."

MMKII said:
"Also, don't insult me, young one," the fortune teller deadpanned, eyebrows raised. "If I was going to manipulate you, it would not be so obvious. I have more than several years on you, and I'd like to think that any schemes of mine would be opaque."

Shizuka looked back quizzically and Sugiyama smiled in the way that they were taught to if annoying questions were in need of being deftly disarmed.

The reassurance was a lie, of course. A white lie, but a lie all the same.

SUGIYAMA: "My numbers are bigger than yours. I'll remind you of the fact, and then reassure you of my 'passivity.' And you will, indeed, be reassured --even though you should definitely know better than to dismiss a threat. But you're going to be reassured, anyway, aren't you? How? Because my numbers are bigger than yours."

RandomOTP · Aug 18, 2022

RandomOTP said:
You can forgive someone without extending trust back to them. You can drop the bitterness eating away at your heart, you can leave the weights off your shoulders remaining vulnerable to their harm.

RandomOTP said:
I find myself glad that Sugiyama wasn't forced to interact with Zabuza, and that they made Zabuza treat his own goddamned wound.

I am aware of the contradiction, and will not be answering questions

thelordofmango · Aug 19, 2022

MMKII said:
He cannot be more than half of my current life's age.

MMKII said:
current life's

Bwuh? I can't tell if this is supposed to be an Implication, or if it's just because Sugiyama talks funny.

Bolo · Aug 19, 2022

Agree with this

[x] Sit down and do some much needed introspection.

Also would love it if we have the time to start coming up with ways to communicate with hand signals or something…

InquiQual · Aug 20, 2022

God, I adore Sugiyama. Their vibe, their worldview, their capabilities. Just chef's kiss all around. I'm terrified we nearly lost them a few times.

Paperclipped · Aug 21, 2022

Adhoc vote count started by Paperclipped on Aug 21, 2022 at 8:27 PM, finished with 22 posts and 11 votes.

Posts

13
8 people have voted
[X] Sit down and do some much needed introspection.
- Egg Shavings
- Cariyaga
- Shrooms
- Halberdier
- Parzival95
- Bolo
- Legionman
- Taijutsu_
3 people have voted
[X] (Zabz) Yes
2 people have voted
[X] Get your fortune read by Sugiyama. Do they have any of those weird herbs that you could bake into something?
- thelordofmango
- RandomOTP
1 people have voted
[X] Get your fortune read by Sugiyama. Offer to share Icha Icha with Shizuka and Sugiyama again, like during Summoning Training. If Sugiyama liked a specific book in the Icha Icha series, offer them a recommendation based on that knowledge (but not the same book. New beginnings and whatnot).
- RandomOTP
1 people have voted
[x] Attempt to weasel some personal information out of Shizuka. Figuring out her motivations is probably important.
- Taijutsu_
1 people have voted
[X] Make Kakashi suffer horribly and leak it to !Kagome in a way that makes them think it was their fault
- faflec

Voting is closed.

According to our lovely timeline, there should be some very, very fun things happening in this update....

Paperclipped · Aug 21, 2022

Oops. Forgot to close voting.

Scheduled vote count started by MMKII on Aug 15, 2022 at 6:35 PM, finished with 11 posts and 5 votes.

3 people have voted
[x] Sit down and do some much needed introspection.
1 people have voted
[X] Get your fortune read by Sugiyama. Do they have any of those weird herbs that you could bake into something?
- RandomOTP
1 people have voted
[X] Make Kakashi suffer horribly and leak it to !Kagome in a way that makes them think it was their fault
- faflec

RandomOTP · Aug 21, 2022

Paperclipped said:
According to our lovely timeline, there should be some very, very fun things happening in this update....

[Prepares to Start Screaming]

MMKII · Aug 24, 2022

Interlude: The Power of Youth

Maito Gai stifled a yawn, rubbed the sand out of his eyes, and leapt out of bed. With the fluid and precise motions of a long-mastered morning routine, Maito Gai snatched a pitcher of water from a nearby nightstand and began guzzling it down as he walked over to the shuttered bedroom windows. Gai gently threw the shutters open to bask in the thin strands of morning light that were peaking over the towering walls of the Hidden Leaf Village.

"Ah! What a beautiful day!" Gai said, as he finished draining the pitcher dry. He placed the clay container on the windowsill and leaned out of the window to observe the bustling activity in the neighboring districts. Gai rented a small apartment situated above a weapon's shop near the Market District, a few blocks away from spruce street. It had a great view, and Gai could see a few early risers like himself out and about on their business.

Or it could be some intrepid night owls returning to their humble abodes! Gai thought. The Hidden Leaf had people of all shapes and sizes and temperaments, and while he personally believed that regularly getting a seven hours of quality nightly rest was paramount— especially if it was leg day!— he did not judge those that had differing opinions on the matter.

One ninja in particular stopped in his tracks on a rooftop across the square to stare at him. The ninja, a newly minted genin, going by his age and headband, looked first to Gai lounging in his window, then to the dark sky above (tinged though it was with the foreshadowing of daybreak!) and then back to Gai, before cupping his hands in front of his mouth.

"It's five in the morning, sir!"

Gai's hair stood on end and he somersaulted to the small wardrobe in the room's corner. His hands dug through the pile of neatly sorted clothes, all but ripping the drawers out in his haste.

"FIVE IN THE MORNING! ARE YOU SURE!?" Gai shouted back out the open window. It was a long way to the genin, so he had to make sure to yell extra loud so that the boy could hear him.

"Yes!"

"OH NO!" Gai yelled. "I OVERSLEPT!"

He quickly donned his green exercise jumpsuit on and slammed his feet into a pair of sandals. He winced slightly as he heard shouting from the building next door.

"I AM VERY SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP, MISS ASAMI!" Gai yelled. "I WILL DO AN EXTRA ONE HUNDRED PUSHUPS IN REPENTANCE!"

Gai jumped out of the open window and landed neatly on the street below. There was a chorus of curses and shouts from around him. He looked around, and was greeted by several neighbors waving slippers and nightcaps angrily in his direction.

Make that twelve hundred pushups!

Gai bolted throughout the streets.

The sky was a decent amount lighter by the time Gai arrived at his usual training ground. He retrieved a handful of well-worn storage seals— he should replace those soon, he really should, but they had a sentimental value, so he couldn't really throw them out— and unsealed the contents. A large metal bar clanged to the ground, accompanied by a pile of weighted metal discs, and a pair of iron spring-clasps. All specially made just for him by a local blacksmith, the equipment was incredibly versatile when used correctly and with the proper form.

Perhaps one of these days Lord Jiraiya will agree to create those Gravity Seals for me, Gai thought. He daydreamed of being able to skip the cumbersome process of attaching, securing, and continually readjusting the many weighted discs to the large metal bar. It would allow him to shave a whole hour from his strength training routines! Unfortunately, something in how he worded the description of the seal always resulted in the sealmasters of the Leaf Village going white as sheets and screaming incoherently in terror. Gai was banking that Lord Jiraiya would be able to do it though, if anyone could, but the Toad Sage's time came at an absolute premium these days, and Gai doubted Jiraiya of the Three would be able to clear his schedule enough to do a custom research project anytime soon.

Shame that he is such a busy man!

Gai completed his stretches and hefted the metal bar across his shoulders. He made an exaggerated step forward, bending his leg at the knee to form a right angle, before pushing off of it and bringing the other leg forward to do the same. After getting across the practice field, which was about a hundred meters long last he measured, Gai placed his weighted equipment down at his legs. Gai spread his feet the appropriate amount and bent down at the waist to grip the bar. He lifted the contraption upwards with a fluid compound motion, bringing the bar just above his chest, before raising it over top of his head explosively.

"Youth!" Gai shouted at the apex of the motion. It was important to not hold your breath while doing strenuous physical tasks, as well as maintain excellent form, or else the hot fires of youth within you would have nowhere to go, and your innards would become hot and uncomfortable and attempt to explode out of your skin.

At least, that was what they always said when he asked as a child.

Gai repeated this exercise a hundred times, before lunging back across the training field.

Then he did the whole process again.

Perhaps I should get a larger bar commissioned, he thought. And more weights. This is becoming too easy.

"Maito Gai?"

Gai finished the current repetition he was on before dropping the weighted training bar to the ground. Four hundred kilograms of metal smashed into the grass with a booming thump. Gai turned to the quickly approaching chuunin that had called out his name.

"That's me!" Gai shouted. He gave a thumbs up. "What can I do for you, fellow ninja of the Hidden Leaf?"

The chuunin blinked owlishly at him for a moment, before unclasping a scroll from his belt and offering it forwards.

"Mission for you, sir."

Gai took the scroll and opened it carefully, his eyes scanning the contents top to bottom.

"So soon? Hmm, I see," Gai muttered. It was a standard bodyguard detail for a jounin such as himself, which is to say that it paid quite a lot and had little details other than some information about the client and a handful of potential threats. The departure time was a few hours away. "In that case, I will have to try to squeeze those promised penitent pushups in right this minute!"

The chuunin coughed. "I uh, need to report to—"

Gai dropped to the ground and began counting. "One! Two! Three! Four!"

"Uh, um."

"If I cannot get twelve hundred pushups done before I must depart on this mission," Gai shouted. "Then I must do twelve thousand upon my return!"

o-o-o

River Country was aptly named. It was filled to the brim with a dazzlingly complex network of interconnected rivers, streams, and tributaries. The Nara had apparently been going crazy for generations attempting to make sense of it, claiming that the maps were completely nonsensical in their apparent arrangement, before Nara Shikaku had formally closed the project with a shrug and a tired sigh, so as to free up their resources for other intellectual pursuits.

"You are most youthful, Princess!" Gai said. He smiled at the young woman. Princess Mei was a shinobi in her own right, but though she was just about his age, she had much less in terms of practical experience. Originally from Fang Country, she was exiled at the end of the last Fang-Claw war, after a traitorous coup was successfully executed due to some foreign interference. "How did you find your time in the Land of Fire?"

His charge jogged forward along the side of the riverbank that they were currently traveling. Deep rivers were a convenient highway system for shinobi. Being swift-moving bodies of water, they tended to have less in the way of dangerous chakra beast predators and obscuring foliage. This made them a choice route for a ninja, especially given that any genin worth the headband would have mastered the water-walking technique while they were a sprout in the academy,

"To tell you the truth," Princess Mei said. "It was somewhat disappointing. I came to hopefully find a teacher or hire a team of legendary shinobi to help retake my rightful place in Hidden Fang, but I was told that neither of those would be an option. The best I could haggle for was a bodyguard on the way, it seems."

Gai nodded. "That is quite unfortunate! Is there anything I could do to help with that? I am bound by law to escort you to your destination in northern Fang, and no further than that, but there is nothing to dictate the path we take on the way." Gai wriggled his eyebrows. "Perhaps one of your many enemies will try to approach us and I can frighten them away with the burning fires of youth!"

Mei chuckled at that, but it didn't sound so cheerful to Gai's ears. "Perhaps. No, I don't think that will be necessary. To tell you the truth I feel rather hopeless, actually. It's as if…"

The young woman trailed off and pursed her lips together in thought.

"A fable to explain," she said. "There was a powerful weaponsmaster once, who designed all manner of weapons and devices for battle, and his comrades were quite successful. The weaponsmaster took pride in the success of his inventions, and this caused his ego to grow. As did his hubris."

"A most unyouthful outcome."

"Indeed," Mei said. "Eventually, he challenged the head of the village for the title. He lost the resulting political battle, of course. While his weapons were excellent, he himself was not strong enough to wield them as his allies were, and he lost a lot of goodwill once this fact was brought to the attention of the nameless masses. As punishment, the weaponsmaster was forced to spend his days rolling a boulder up and down a mountain, day and night."

Gai waited a moment for the rest of the story, but it seemed that the princess was finished. "So this unyouthful shinobi was punished with a harsh workout regimen? A fantastic idea to help him realize the fullness of his youth, I approve wholeheartedly!"

"… That is not quite the point," Mei said. The princess shook her head, her jade earrings dangling back and forth as she did so. "The punishment is that this ninja toils day and night on a pointless task. He pushes the rock up to the peak, and brings it back down. There is no purpose to it, only futility. A curse. I feel as if I am that proverbial individual, exerting so much effort, but getting nowhere for it."

"Hmmm," Gai said. He nodded. "I see the connection. I suppose there are situations where it is natural to feel this way. But do not lose hope! You are very youthful, and you will surely be able to solve your problems so long as you do not give up!"

This earned Gai a raised eyebrow and another shallow laugh. "Optimism. Thank you for your words, dear bodyguard, but I fear they fall on deaf ears. Do you not have some goal you aspire to that remains out of your reach? Is hope and this 'youth' of yours enough to reach it? If so, why have you not attained it?"

Gai frowned and refrained from responding.

He did have a goal like that. A far off goal, an objective outside of his reach, a possibility denied him through no fault of his own.

And it stung.

"I will think on your story and your words, princess," Gai said. "It is clear that they trouble you deeply, and I would not be doing the job of bodyguard well if all I did was defend you from mere physical threats. No! The fires of youth within me demand that I contemplate this and dispel the philosophical murk that you are miring yourself in, for I am the Green Beast of the Hidden Leaf!"

The pair followed the river as it veered to the side into the mouth of a valley, before running up the waterfall that was its source. While the princess struggled and puffed her way up the torrential downpour, climbing the waterfall was easy for Gai. Trivial, almost.

I should find a waterfall back home, Gai thought. A hundred laps up and down a proper waterfall would be great endurance training.

The princess struggled to keep up with Gai, and he slowed down to match her pace.

"How are you able to keep up this ridiculous pace?" Mei asked. "It's absolute hell on my body."

"Ah!" Gai said. "You see, for Maito Gai, this is nothing! I have a very involved workout regimen every morning. Pushups, situps, many lunges, and so on. After my promotion to jounin, I gifted myself a very expensive set of training weights as well, which has made it much easier to push my body to its limits!"

Gai spent the next several minutes of the trip eagerly describing his morning workout routine. Mei listened with rapt attention, hanging on to every word.

And with every word out of his mouth, Gai noticed her eyelids widened just a little bit more.

Which wasn't an uncommon reaction anymore, when he talked about his training methods. Even Ebisu had interrupted him the last time they had talked about training techniques over dinner to call him insane, and demand that he escort Gai to the hospital.

A humorous adventure! Gai thought. A small smile danced across his face at the memory of that fiasco. Lady Tsunade was less than amused!

"Do- do all jounin of the Leaf do this?" Mei asked, her mouth agape, her jaw weighted down with astonishment. "Every day?"

"No," Gai responded. "My comrades focus their time on other aspects of shinobi life."

Gai left it at that, since it wouldn't be right for him to elaborate on the training habits of his fellow jounin.

"So you have a secret technique of some sort?" Mei said. "You must, to train that much every day. Or do your healers have some sort of medical ninjutsu to assist your training? No shinobi could survive that."

"I don't know what to tell you, princess," Gai said. He shrugged. "It is no secret technique. There is no strange ninjutsu required. Anyone can train as hard as I do, if they work up to it and remain youthful."

Mei gawked at him. The princess neglected to properly observe her surroundings, so she ran face first into a nearby mangrove tree.

Hasty interlude from me this week. Busy, traveling, newest thing on the Life Emergency random event table, so on and so forth.

RandomOTP · Aug 24, 2022

Gai is an absolute treasure, and must be protected at all costs.

Shrooms · Aug 24, 2022

RandomOTP said:
Gai is an absolute treasure, and must be protected at all costs.

He can protect himself, he is the Green Beast after all

Pharos · Aug 24, 2022

This was great! Please give a continuation sometime, I ~~need~~ want to see Gai casually Youthing through teams of enemy ninja while the princess just watches in ever-growing bewilderment.

RandomOTP · Aug 24, 2022

MMKII said:
Gai gently threw the shutters open to bask in the thin strands of morning light that were peaking over the towering walls of the Hidden Leaf Village.

Gai doesn't sleep naked, does he?

MMKII · Aug 24, 2022

RandomOTP said:
Gai doesn't sleep naked, does he?

Knowing Gai... He's probably standing there in a pair of underwear as several people are glancing up at the racket.

thelordofmango · Aug 24, 2022

MMKII said:
Knowing Gai... He's probably standing there in a pair of underwear as several people are glancing up at the racket.

are his underwear green too?

RandomOTP · Aug 25, 2022

thelordofmango said:
are his underwear green too?

They don't call him the Green Beast of Konoha for nothing!

RandomOTP · Aug 25, 2022

Moving from Discord over to here. Not an Omake (because spoons), but more of a tentative headcanon.
Background: the rivers in River Country are hella weird. One possible explanation is that they're not natural. And chakra is also hecking weird. So...

(smol genin exposition dump... let's call her "Arashi (family name) Ame (first name)" which, according to google translate, should literally be "storm" and "rain," respectively. Her papa wasn't too bright, so he named her after the gentle rainstorm that washed away his wife's sweat and blood after the birth of their daughter. Call it bad timing, and they were outside when the mother's wife broke.)

AME: "So, these two guys had a big fight, I think Grandma said they were from the same clan, but had different ideas about becoming a Hidden Village. I'm not sure if the two ninja were friends, lovers, roommates, squadmates, enemies, or even if they were all of the above... but my Grandma swears on her grandma's grave that the two ninja fought to the death while crying, and that their sorrow-stained magics soaked the soil with their grief, and that's where the rivers come from."

AME (continued): "Personally, I don't quite see why they fought at all. If they loved each other, then why'd they fight? Couldn't they just talk it out? Wait, Mr Kakashi Sir, why are you leaving? I asked a question! Put down your book and answer me!"

And then...

Honestly, the main conceit is right there. Maybe add some set dressing for the environment*. Stumbles onto Kakashi and Sugiyama at a bar, Sugiyama thinks Ame is precious and has Ame recite the story to Kakashi.

Zabz and Fishboy are offscreen for this social encounter because Fishboy is challenging Zabz to a swordfight (double-entendre joke) every day for training. Because Fishboy is suicidal and wants training montage, and Zabz is bored and thinks maybe Fishkid could maybe one day give him a good fight.

Kakashi's overall demeanor throughout this scene is indifferent ("huh, cool story, future corpse.) Sugiyama is interested and mildly morose ("whoa, interesting lore from a girl destined for the grave.")

After lore dump, Kakashi sees Zabz sling an unconscious Fishkid over his shoulder through an open window. Kakashi figures that it'd be best to meet them outside, because last time Zabz was in a bar, he drank it**. Scene ends with Kakashi ignoring Ame's annoyed pestering, and Sugiyama smiling sadly in goodbye (trailing behind Kakashi).

-----
*Ame Arashi is a missing nin because her civilian mom died in labor/died on the way back to civilization/healing after childbirth/idk y'all [insert dead parent Protag Backstory here], grandparents died of old age, and civilian-born ninja papa recently died on a mission... actually, if her mother was a civilian woman, and her father was a civilian-born ninja, then let's Declare that Ame Arashi's parents were "childhood friends to lovers" archetype.

**Yes, all of it. Made quite the mess.

Cariyaga · Aug 25, 2022

RandomOTP said:
Gai is an absolute treasure, and must be protected at all costs.

I'd say "if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in the room and then myself"

But I'm pretty sure that Kakashi has thought that unironically.

MMKII · Aug 31, 2022

Interlude: Eye of the Storm

Darui patiently waited for the next question. He resisted the urge to twiddle his thumbs, tap his foot against the cement floor, or work on some poetry under his breath. He opted instead to use the lull in conversation to slowly flex his hands, which he had gently placed in front of him on the interrogation room table hours before, and to readjust himself slightly in the uncomfortable chair. But that was it.

Always a good idea to be on your best behavior at T&I, Darui thought grimly.

Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of visits to the Torture and Interrogation Department in any given Hidden Village were done by the ninja of that very village. Chuunin and jounin mostly and generally those that were in the know on some sort of confidential village secret, undercover mission, or did a bunch of classified work. If you were in ANBU, the village hunter-nin, the cryptography department or some equivalent organization, you could bet that you'd have to make a trip to T&I every couple of months. It wasn't so unusual for them to invite some random genin over to grill them for a bit either. Keep people on their toes.

Darui was a young jounin of the Hidden Cloud, one that could be described as a rising star— and was described as such, at least prior to Hatake ruining his crew's credibility and the subsequent failure of a mission to track the man down. He had the good fortune of the Third Raikage singling him out at a young age to train him in the arts of the Black Lightning, as well as access to the rare Storm Release bloodline.

As a consequence, he spent more regular time in T&I than most people his age.

This visit was different.

"Alright," X said. The man nodded slowly, and the lamplight glanced off of the perpendicular lines of obsidian that went through his otherwise unremarkable porcelain mask.. "I think we're making progress here, but I'm still unclear about a couple details. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?"

We've gone over it seven fucking times already, you eyes-in-the-sky nutjob! Darui swallowed the barrage of retorts that his mind was running through. Forced repetition was an incredibly frustrating interrogation tactic to be subjected to, but the thing is that it generally worked.

For the most part. It stopped getting useful once the target got too incoherent. Darui suspected he was being pressed a bit harder than usual, given the situation.

"Yes, sir." Darui said. He blinked hard a couple times to banish his exhaustion and keep his eyes open. They had been at this for a few hours now, and they woke him up in the middle of the night to drag him here. "Where would you like me to begin?"

"At the beginning," X answered.

Figures. It was the same answer the man had given him the last several times.

Darui nodded. "I noticed something was wrong when the alarm seals went off. I immediately assumed that the sealmaster on duty had set them off, and so I proceeded to the wing of the facility where the sound was coming from, as protocol dictated. I saw the sealmaster entering the room at that point. As I did so, I utilized one of my Black Lightning techniques to create a chakra construct to advance ahead of me through the reinforced wall of the bunker."

Darui stopped as X held up a hand. "Explain again your reaction upon seeing the guard enter the room. Spare no detail, please."

Darui inhaled. "So the first thing that ran through my mind was the potential that this ninja was compromised, since the mandated response to an alarm sound is to wait for reinforcements before proceeding, but I quickly decided against that. It was more likely by far that he had noticed my approach and decided that I was close enough to fit the definition, before the guard entered the room. I cast the jutsu afterwards to assist in securing the prisoner and backing up the guard, instructing it to head through the wall and attack the prisoner."

"In other words, you did not see that the prisoner had escaped his restraints before casting the jutsu," X said dryly. The ANBU captain shook his head. "And if this killed the prisoner?"

Darui shrugged. "The jutsu in particular attacks nonlethally. My judgment call in the moment was that I would be able to make another judgment call about that within a few seconds."

"And if this killed the prisoner?"

"Right, sorry sir," Darui said. He bit his lip. "I judged at the time that while that outcome was extremely unlikely, it would be acceptable collateral. Despite the prisoner's classification, as of this time, throughout his stay in the facility, the prisoner hadn't so much as communicated—"

"Quiet." X said. He held up a hand. "It is the position of the Hidden Cloud village that individuals such as yourself are not to make judgment calls of this nature. You do not have the authority to override standing orders present with respect to a given asset's value, or perform a cost-benefit analysis thereof. The prisoner was not to be harmed unless escape was imminent. You did not have any strong evidence beyond the alarm, a visual cue, and your own suspicions. Is this correct?"

Darui mulled over his response for a moment.

"That is correct," Darui finally said.

"And you cast an offensive technique regardless?" X asked.

Darui didn't much like his tone.

"It would not have harmed him," Darui said. "But I'm not at liberty to explain more than that. Raikage's orders. I'm not to go on and blab about the Black Lightning techniques to anyone other than him."

X stared at him for a long second before leaning back in his chair. It was cushioned and looked a great deal more comfortable than the rickety piece of splinters Darui was seated in.

"You realize that I'm unable to verify this," X said. He drummed a gloved hand on the table. "Not without asking the Raikage to do so for me. He might bother, but he'll likely tell me to drop it and get back to work."

"I recognize," Darui said. He tried very hard to keep his voice polite. "That this presents a difficulty for you, sir. Sorry about that." Darui shrugged. "Orders are orders."

X grunted. "Moving on then. What happened when you got into the room?"

"I saw, uh," Darui said. He stuttered a bit as his mind helpfully provided him with the grotesque memory. "Blood. The guard was massacred. Stabbed to death, it looked like. Whole room smelled of blood. Coppery." Darui shuddered slightly as he went over the memory. "I examined the room quickly. My jutsu construct was standing there, unmoving. The prisoner's chair was broken, the sedative setup was shattered, and the fuinjutsu restraints on the floor around the chair were disrupted. I noticed that the air was reverberating strangely. I cast some more techniques just in case, but it seemed to me that the prisoner was gone. I waited for ANBU backup to arrive before making my report to the officer in charge."

"That's it," Darui said. He gave a small shrug. "That's all I remember. It must have gone down pretty fast."

"Hmmm, I see." X said. The man sighed and continued tapping against the table.

Prick. Darui waited patiently and tried his best to ignore the subtle insult. The Cloud ANBU captain was able to move his hands as he pleased, of course, but Darui had to keep his steady like the good little soldier boy he was, or there might be problems.

"Right," X said. "Okay, let's go back to the moment that you heard the alarms."

Darui's eyelid twitched.

o-o-o

Darui entered the Temple Upon the Mount, the rest of Storm's Fang close behind on his heels. An elderly monk greeted the group with a shallow bow.

"Greetings, and welcome to the temple," the monk said. "How can we aid thee on the path to enlightenment today, fellow men of the Cloud village?"

Darui heard Sen mutter something foul and uncouth behind him, before Kaien or Raizo elbowed her in the ribs to shut her up. This had the opposite effect, and Sen hissed loudly. The temple monk raised an eyebrow.

"My apologies. Fellow men and women of the Hidden Cloud village," the monk corrected himself. The bald guy gave a slightly deeper bow in Sen's direction, which seemed to placate her stormy temper somewhat. "What service can we provide this afternoon?"

Darui gave a shallow bow of his own. "Directions would be nice, elder. We're looking for a funerary alcove for a ninja that has passed recently."

"Name?"

"I don't know the name," Darui said. "But the ninja in question was young. No more than twenty-five. Sealmaster. Bit of a beard, but not really?" Darui trailed off mid-description.

The monk's lips twisted into a small smile, but sadness and pity danced in the man's eyes. "Child, I am sorry for your loss… but we only receive the ashes. A physical description isn't much to go off of."

Storm's Fang looked at each other awkwardly.

"I can direct you to a few of the newer urns," the monk offered. "Until you find the deceased."

The group nodded and they followed the monk throughout the various alcoves and crypt rooms. One of the name's in the sixth room looked vaguely familiar.

"I think this one is it," Darui said. "Thank you." He handed over a wad of coins, bowed, and gave the monk a quick thumbs up. The holy man returned the gesture, and he slipped the sack of ryo into his robes, before leaving the group to pay their respects.

"Not a lot of offerings," Kaien said. He gestured at the trio of burnt incense sticks in the holder and the empty braziers nearby. "Guess we're the first to stop by."

"Guy might've focused a lot on his work," Raizo said. "Sealmasters, y'know?"

"Who knows?" Darui said. He withdrew a storage seal from his belt and took out the offering they had brought. It was the carcass of a snow-white hare, caught fresh and cleaned just this morning. Darui nodded at the brazier and the small bag of coals next to it. "Raizo, light that, would you?"

Raizo obliged. Sen and Kaien lit some of the incense sticks and tossed them in the smoker while Darui gently lowered the dead rabbit into the roaring coals. The fire hissed and spit up a plume of black smoke as the dead animal's fur touched the coals.

Darui knelt down on the carved stone floor in front of the urn that held the ashes of the dead ninja. The other three did the same. He could just barely make out the prayers that they were saying under his breath. Darui didn't pray, choosing instead to sit in silence.

Kaien finished his prayers first, then Raizo. They stood up and left, lighting some of the alcove's candles. Sen stood up a few minutes later and walked out into the hallway to join them, leaving Darui to bask in the smoky odor of incense and burnt offerings.

"Sorry that I was too late, man," Darui said. He kept it simple. "It sucks. I'll do some laps around the training grounds for you so that it won't happen to the next guy. If I run into the prick who killed you, I'll make sure that he gets reduced to a pile of ashes too."

The words felt hollow to him, but what else could he possibly say?

Darui kneeled in silence for several minutes longer, his hands clasped together, and contemplated death. He stood up, lit another handful of incense sticks, and left the room.

The rest of the crew was waiting patiently in the hallway, as he knew they would be.

"Didn't have to wait for me, y'know," Darui said. He arched an eyebrow.

Kaien snorted. Raizo shrugged.

Sen piped up as the group started walking back to the entrance.

"Storm's Fang to the end," Sen said. Her voice was somber. "Eleven years, we lost peers. That can never mend."

Darui nodded. "Yeah."

I forgot that Sen was older than me, Darui thought.

Sen rarely spoke in verse, but when she did it was straight from the heart.

Maybe I should try that sometime. Darui thought. Put a little more substance into it. Emotion.

o-o-o

Darui took a deep inhale from his pipe before passing it over to Kaien.

It was Saturday night at the aptly named Lightning Release Tavern.

Saturday night at a tavern in Hidden Cloud meant that it was busy, for Saturday nights were reserved for poetry nights. The poetry nights at the Lightning Release Tavern were invite only for participants, but any ninja was able to spectate in the audience.

Darui sipped at his tankard of ale and leaned back against the cushioned leather seats of the circular booth. "Who's up next?"

Sen brushed a lock of blonde hair out of her eyes and peered at the schedule. "C, it looks like."

"Excellent," Raizo said. The man's cheeks were getting rosy. Had he really had that many drinks already? "A woman who isn't afraid to flaunt her beauty. Unlike our fair teammate here!"

Kaien sputtered and coughed as the drunken remark struck while the tobacco smoke was still in his lungs.

A vein pulsed in Sen's forehead. "Wanna say that again, Raz?"

Raizo looked over to her and smiled. "What? I was talking about Kaien, of course. Girl that he is. Mind you, you wouldn't look half-bad running around.

Okay, Darui thought. He resolved to Let's head this off.

"Meh," Darui grunted, before Sen could jab Raizo in the nuts with a kunai. "Her poetry sucks, that's what matters."

That earned him a trio of shocked looks from the rest of Storm's Fang.

Darui was surprised. He had voiced his actual opinion, but he didn't really expect it to be a controversial one.

"Uh, dude," Kaien said. He looked around nervously. "You sure you should be saying that so loudly?"

Why does he look so pale?

"What?" Darui said. He arched an eyebrow. "Look, I'm just telling it like it is. C hasn't come up with a good one in a while."

His companions went white as clouds at that. Kaien started coughing loudly, Raizo started waving furiously at him, and Sen stared at him with a wide-eyed look, her lips parted slightly.

"Oh, is that so?"

Darui froze as a hand came down on his shoulder. He looked behind him.

C stood behind him, leaning forward slightly, her painted lips twisted into a mockery of a smile. Her cheeks were tinted red, her blonde hair mussed up slightly. The elite jounin of the Hidden Cloud had clearly had a few already, and Darui doubted that it had improved her mood much.

"Miss C, pleasure to—hrk!"

C's knuckles popped as she tightened the vice grip on his shoulder, and Darui hissed in pain, slamming a fist on the table and bowing his head slightly. He raised his head with a glare.

"The fuck do you think you're doing?" Darui growled. "Let go of me."

Most people wouldn't want to start shit with a member of the A-B-C trio, but C was the weakest of the three by far, and Darui wasn't most people.

"Don't give me that, you little punk," C hissed. "I suck? You're just jealous that you aren't good enough to be invited to perform here. Go rhyme away at your po dunk little taverns."

A figure stepped out of the shadows and into the lamplight of the small booth. It was a muscular ninja, several swords slung across his back. He had a close cropped beard, a head wrap that bore the Hidden Cloud headband, and an amazing pair of tinted glasses.

Killer B.

"Woah! Sister, sister! " Killer B said. He knocked C's arm away from Darui's shoulder. "Take it easy, will ya? Geez." B turned to Darui and jabbed a finger at the younger jounin. "Critique from the stage."

The gulps around the table were audible.

Darui met the jinchuuriki's gaze, and he nodded firmly. "Fair enough. Apologies to both of you."

Killer B nodded in return. The second-strongest ninja in all of Cloud leaned against the booth, but said nothing more. C snorted and walked towards the stage. She walked the short set of stairs and paused at the last step, before somersaulting to the middle of the stage. C bowed deeply, and the crowd of assembled shinobi cheered.

Show off.

C lifted unsheathed a sai from the clasp on her belt and twirled it around. "Blood in the water." She unsheathed the weapon's twin and crossed the two. "Death knocking at my front door." She juggled the weapons and sheathed them back in her belt with a chuckle. "He fears my laughter!"

The crowd hollered and clapped out some applause.

Not so bad showmanship-wise, Darui reluctantly thought. He clapped politely out of respect, but the rest of Storm's Fang was clapping and yelling with the rest of the audience.

C flicked a hand back and forth dismissively, before pointing an index finger directly at Darui. A shit eating grin was plastered across her face.

"Little soldier boy," C said, her voice a parody of a popular children's song. She bobbed her head side to side with each word, her lips pursed in mock sadness. "Can't find the Copy Kitten." C mimed looking to and fro, before stepping back and making an exaggerated shrug of confusion.

Darui felt his back go ramrod straight. He moved to get up from the booth, but Killer B placed a gentle but firm hand on his chest, and quieted him with a glance and a frown.

C gave an exaggerated thumbs down and made a loud farting noise with her tongue. "His poetry sucks!"

Some ninja in the crowd were silent, disapproving of the cheap shot. Some of them clapped politely, eyebrows raised. But the rest of the crowd laughed and jeered and hollered, just as they had been doing all night.

They were laughing at him.

Darui's blood boiled as he felt his insides twist together, but he found that he couldn't move. Couldn't think. His friends were statues, unmoving except for their eyes, which darted frantically in-between Darui, Killer B, and the tavern stage. C gave a mock bow and exited the stage to go sit down on a stool at the main bar. She flipped him the bird as she slammed another drink.

Darui's fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles popped audibly, like miniature hailstones pounding against the rocks.

Howdy folks! Here's another quick interlude from me. Hopefully I get some more free time after mid-September-ish.

Shrooms · Aug 31, 2022

Kakashi, in the audience, taking notes: "Copy Kitten, I like that one. "

RandomOTP · Aug 31, 2022

Is the Sealmaster Kagome?

Killer B's appearance was pretty cool. Interesting to see poetry slams/rap battles be incorporated in Cloud's culture (or just very popular in Cloud since Killer B exists, and has a lot of political/cultural power).

thelordofmango · Sep 1, 2022

I guess these people really like haikus

Halberdier · Sep 3, 2022

I really want to see a Sokka style haiku rap battle right there. Or Darui just burst into flow with something real and deep that make C seem trite and petty.

MMKII · Sep 3, 2022

Halberdier said:
I really want to see a Sokka style haiku rap battle right there. Or Darui just burst into flow with something real and deep that make C seem trite and petty.

You're in luck, I have most of a part two written for that one.

Paperclipped · Sep 4, 2022

Chapter 54: Not Enough Killing

For all their incredibly stuck-up moralizing, the samurai really had it right when they called their lands the Blessed Isles. Kakashi walked along the boardwalk and looked out to the open waters to the north where the rising sun painted the sky with orange and yellow, with streaks of red and purple dotting the sky where a few low clouds had yet to be chased away by the coming day. The sun passed some critical point and the waves in the ocean beyond the small harbor started to glimmer, as if adorned by a coating of a thousand diamonds.

Oh, adorned was a good one. Jiraiya used that one a lot. Kakashi scribbled another note in the margin of his book. Couldn't afford to gawk at the sunset for too long. It would ruin that incredibly irritated look on Nishikigoi's face. He was about to say it, something like "how could you be reading cheap porn while there's a beautiful sunrise going on," but probably dressed up in ten layers of bullshit. Kakashi kept his gaze on the book, but watched out of the corner of his eye as Nishikigoi started to open his mouth.

"Sensei?"

Kakashi looked up to see the old crone that Zabuza had broken out of jail, squatting on one of the large beams by the docks. She gestured loosely at them with her one hand, where Kakashi noted she held a tiny knife, then flicked it across the fish that lay on the beam between her feet. The fish flopped as a clean cut appeared across its skin.

Nishikigoi had stopped to bow, so Kakashi awkwardly stopped as well and Sugiyama bumped into him from behind. He pushed the medic off and turned to face the old woman as she poked through the fish's open guts. Its flopping slowed as she pushed bits and pieces around, then eventually stopped. Eventually, she must have gotten bored, because she flicked the fish off the side of the beam and into the shallow waters beneath, where it landed with a plop. She swung her legs off the beam and started to walk towards their group with bare feet.

"Get up, you useless brat. Or am I going to have to teach you another lesson about taking your eyes off your opponent?"

Nishikigoi quickly straightened up and visibly resisted the urge to bow again in apology. "I have not forgotten your lesson, sensei. We needn't do another."

"Pfft!" she said, scoffing as she approached. Something about her set Kakashi's skin crawling. The way she held the knife… There was a casualness to it that made it easy to ignore, like she saw the tiny two inch blade as a part of her body.

"I know what happened to you, kid. You got soft. You went back home and saw your family and they wanted you to bow, so you did. You tried to stand with one foot in the waters of swordsmanship and the other as a polite statesman. Don't do that. Everything I'm telling you, you gotta make a part of who you are. And you!" she said, turning on Kakashi. He barely resisted making a Chidori. "You were by his side, weren't you? I thought ninja were supposed to be killers, why did you let him-"

The old woman cut herself off and her eyes widened in realization. "You."

Kakashi frowned. "Me?" He racked his brain. Had he met her somewhere? Maybe in the Sasu territory when their memory was being wiped?

She scowled. "Get out of the way, kid."

Only then did Kakashi realize that Sugiyama was cowering behind him. He adjusted himself slightly to stand more firmly between them. "No. What do you want with Sugiyama?"

The scowl deepened and Kakashi's eyes were drawn to the knife in her hand. It was still loose and relaxed, but he remembered how she had blitzed Zabuza, tearing a bar out of the cell and ramming it through his shoulder faster than the eye could see. She was easily as fast as Dragon. He'd need to Substitute away, probably with that civilian dockworker over there – no, he couldn't leave Sugiyama to get killed, he would have to double-Substitute and take the attack – no, that's too slow. He-

Sugiyama stepped around him, and sank to their knees, pressing their forehead against the rough wet floorboards. "Honored elder, I had not kno-"

"Silence."

Sugiyama stopped speaking mid-word. They had that same stiffness as they'd shown when Kakashi had first met Kagato and insinuated… something offensive that he didn't quite remember.

The crone looked down at Sugiyama with a sneer of disgust.

"You know what you have done."

"Yes," said Sugiyama, still face down against the saltwater-sprayed boards.

"Know that you are not forgiven."

"I know," said Sugiyama.

Kakashi tensed as he saw a couple samurai step out of an alleyway and onto the docks. One of them must have been rather high ranking, because on his breastplate there was an elaborate enamel painting of the Irabi's banner eel. One of them signaled into the alleyway behind them, then more Irabi samurai started to stream out.

He looked to Shizuka, who nodded. This way was shot, they couldn't take the boats if the Irabi were going to be watching. Irritating, but they were ahead of schedule anyway, they could afford to find another town and book another boat.

The crone looked up at Kakashi, then to Shizuka. "You cannot trust this one," she said, gesturing vaguely at Sugiyama with the knife. She pointed at the medic's hand. "This is a hand that knows only betrayal."

"I'm not worried," Kakashi said. "I think I can take Sugiyama in a fight. Sugiyama, get up, it's time to go." Sugiyama didn't move.

The crone laughed, fake and bitter. "Saku is no warrior. There will be no fight. Treachery is not limited to those who would give you the false honor of a blade to the chest."

Her voice suddenly changed, assuming that rhythmic chanting that Sugiyama's did during fortune telling, "Let it be known: these are hands that know only betrayal, and these are lips that know only lies. If you do not strike down Saku, who shall bring you only destruction, then your paths will lead inevitably to ruin, and your cherished dreams will know only flame."

"Right, yeah, sounds good," Kakashi said, as a dozen samurai started to move towards their position. The dock they were marching across was straight enough that he could probably peg them all with Fire Dragon Bullet. There would be collateral damage, but then again, when wasn't there? Maybe the survivors could enjoy some fried fish as a consolation prize.

Shizuka was already starting to move in the other direction, while Nishikigoi had only placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. He faced the Irabi group with hatred in his eyes. Kakashi brought his hands together in front of him in a fighting stance, really preparing to form handseals, but Shizuka's heavy footsteps running back made him turn around. From the other side, another group of samurai were approaching them to hem them in. They'd need to escape over water… and Nishikigoi would be left behind.

Kakashi was about to scoop up Sugiyama off the ground when the old woman laughed again. "Well, if your companions will not strike you down now, I will merely hope that they will wise up in the future. Perhaps they will wait till their other allies are asleep, so as to preserve their reputations. Stand now, Saku. I have sworn an oath not to harm you so long as you did not step foot on the soil of our lands. We are not there, nor on any soil at all."

Sugiyama stood slowly, still keeping their eyes low, and bowed. "Thank you for your words, honored elder."

The crone scoffed. "Fuck off." She turned to face the oncoming samurai. "What do these idiots want?"

Kakashi was about to call his ninjutsu when Nishikigoi turned, taking his hand off of his sword. He faced the second group of samurai and took an uncertain step towards them. "Father?" he asked.

The two groups of samurai stopped, surrounding them front and back. Instinctively, Kakashi moved near Shizuka so she could cover his back, her facing the new group and Kakashi facing the Irabi.

"Kenichi. You have been traveling with the ninja?"

Kakashi heard Kenichi's flinch in the tiny clinking of his armor. "Father, it is not-"

"No, Kenichi. I understand. You have been… brainwashed by them. Step away from them." Kakashi almost flinched at the words, dripping with a fatherly disappointment.

"Father," Kenichi said, "I promise you that they… they are not evil, Father."

"Would that I believed your promises had any worth anymore, Kenichi. We do not intend to kill them, so long as they leave our lands without trouble. If they do not…"

"We were just leaving anyway," Shizuka said, not relaxing her stance an inch. "The boat we were going to take is over there," she said, pointing with a kunai in her hand. "We don't want any trouble."

"You have caused enough trouble with your unjust slaughter of the Irabi Shogun."

Kakashi saw Kenichi's fists clenching as he swiveled his head. The samurai on either side of them were maintaining a defensive wall, but the spearmen had yet to lower their blades towards them directly.

"Go, now, and never return," said the voice, and Kakashi turned a little more to see the man, a tall and broad figure with silvery scales covering his skin everywhere that the armor didn't reach. "Should we ever see you again, regardless of whether there is peace or war in our lands, all the clans of the Blessed Isles will unite to strike you down. This has been sworn."

"Yes, we will. But our boat is that way," said Shizuka. "You'll need to let us through." Some signal must have been exchanged behind Kakashi, because the Irabi samurai parted to form a double corridor flanking the dock, with barely enough room to walk between them, spears still held high.

Kakashi felt his eye twitch at the thought of walking into the middle of a group of twelve armed, armored, chakra capable combatants, much less combatants whose revered leader he had killed. "Let's just go over water," he said. "Sugiyama?"

The medic nodded at him, shaken but clearly able to walk, and after a moment, the three ninja stepped down onto the water below the docks and walked a wide route around the Irabi. Kakashi spared one last look at Nishikigoi Kenichi. His father had put a hand on his shoulder.

"Kenichi. We will be returning now to the Northern Isles. The Daimyo is still pledging to the new Shogun, but he will wish to address you when he returns. You should prepare what you wish to say."

"Hah," said the old crone, suddenly drawing the samurai's attention. They must have dismissed her as a beggar that had gotten caught in the middle of the situation. "Fat chance. Kid's coming with me."

The leader, Kenichi's father turned to face the woman. "Apologies, kind lady, but my son is a samurai, and he has other affairs to tend with beyond this port. We apologize for interrupting you."

"Apology accepted. Come on, kid."

The woman turned to face the Irabi spearmen, who had closed ranks to fill the dock side again. One of their number loudly said "wait, you again!?"

"Yes, me again," the woman said. "But I'm not waiting. You have ten seconds to form up in a nice corridor again before you start losing limbs."

Kenichi turned away from his father to look at the old woman.

"Kenichi. Do not listen to this beggar woman. The Irabi will find her a place to sleep tonight." His father turned, trying to pull Kenichi along, but his son stayed rooted in place.

"Father, I cannot come with you," he said, looking down.

"What do you mean, you cannot come with me?"' the man said, turning to face Kenichi as his group stopped again, but his son stepped away from him to face the woman. "Sensei, don't fight them."

"Hurry up, then," said the woman. She was still holding the knife limp at her side.

"Kenichi, you cannot think that you can go with this woman." Kenichi's father held out a hand. "Even if she is no beggar, remember what your Daimyo told you. You have a duty and a responsibility to this land and to its people that it is our responsibility to nurture. Right now, it is like a dying vine, caught in a vast abyss and sustained by only the faintest shred of light. You must return to the light, Kenichi. Come back to your home. Remember why you fight!"

Kenichi looked at the outstretched hand for a long moment, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, father."

He walked towards the woman, and fell in step behind her as she stepped towards the Irabi samurai. Two of them near the front lowered their spears, but one of them farther in called out.

"Watch out, she's dangerous!"

A moment later, Kakashi, Shizuka, and Sugiyama ducked as an Irabi samurai was hurled bodily over their heads and the scent of blood suddenly filled the air. Kakashi straightened up instantly to check the situation, but all the Irabi were already in the water, treading desperately to stay afloat with the weight of their armor. The crone kicked one severed arm into the water, then another. She gestured at Kenichi to follow, and started walking back towards the city, bare feet slapping in the blood she'd spilled.

Kakashi looked at Shizuka, then at Sugiyama.

"Well," Shizuka said under her breath, "she seems nice. Let's get out of here before things somehow get worse."

o-o-o-o

The swordmistress looked out over the distant storm. Red lightning rolled somewhere within the body of clouds, so dark before the dawn that they seemed jet black, that surrounded the island. Despite the intensity of the storm around them, there was nothing more than a light breeze on the island, and Kenichi could see the stars glinting overhead.

Zabuza stepped up next to him and watched their sensei watch the storm for a moment.

"Old cunt, still the same as ever, huh? Making us wake up early, then waiting for us to- oof," he collapsed as the swordmistress stepped away, stabbing Zabuza's oversized weapon into the ground.

"I was thinking, you little runt. Turns out Saku's running around these parts, which means there's some things I have to make sure are adequately protected. Don't worry, I'll find something adequately challenging to punish you while I'm out."

Zabuza grunted, raised himself up on all fours, then snapped out an arm to hurl a kunai at the swordmistress. She deflected it with a metal ringing sound, the paring knife suddenly appearing in her hand, as she continued speaking.

"Anyway, the most important thing here is this. What did you learn? And stop whining, kid, be grateful I hit you with the blunt end of that foolish looking thing you call a sword. Unless you got soft too."

Zabuza seemed to be taking his time coming to his feet, so Kenichi filled the silence. "What do you mean, what did we learn, sensei?"

She fixed him with a look. "I could have broken my way out of that prison. I could have killed every shit samurai that came here to arrest me. Prison was nice enough – the guards got the message not to give me stews with fish in it eventually, and the people there were decent conversationalists. Even as old as I am, you don't get bored of hearing people's stories. Still, I'm trying to train the two of you up into swordsmen worth a damn. How did getting myself arrested make that happen?"

"Practical experience fighting, sensei?" Kenichi asked.

She laughed. "There are people to kill in every corner of this world. Nah, ultimately there's nothing too special about having to kill samurai. Limiting, maybe, since you lot don't use anything but your weapons."

Zabuza had gotten to his feet now. Kenichi noted a bit of blood around his lips from when he'd coughed. "Let me guess. Skin in the game. For him, obviously, for me to get your teaching back."

"That's part of it," she said, "but not all. That gets you in the game. But what did you learn?"

Kenichi and Zabuza stayed silent.

"Well, maybe you two don't learn anything unless I'm here to teach it to you. That's what it seems like, anyway. Alright, let's start with you," she said, pointing at Zabuza, who instinctively flinched and raised his weapon.

"You're not afraid to use your sword. Good. It's a tool that you can't afford not to use, not with your choice of career. But it's your only tool. You're useless on your own. You let Hatake point you at the Irabi – you kill the Irabi, ignoring how this ruins your ability to influence the Nishikigoi later. Hatake points you at the Ashika, you go and kill what he tells you to kill, but you don't bother with the Ashika themselves. They join your enemy because you couldn't cement an alliance.

"If the only tool in your hand is the sword, then you are like a sword. An attack dog to be let loose on your enemies if you're weak, a tool to be pointed by your master's hand if you're strong. If you do not think about why you are killing, if you do not develop other ways to achieve your goals, then you will only be as successful as those that command you."

Kenichi could tell that Zabuza was angry at that, but the ninja clenched his fists and stayed still.

"Are you angry at me because I am being honest?" the swordmistress asked. "I know your goal to bring down your former homeland and have your once-ruler meet his end on your, again, really foolish-looking blade. Do you really think you will achieve it just by killing who you feel like killing, without thought to building alliances and selecting targets and causing disruption and fear and mistrust in your enemy? Tearing down a country is challenging if you aim to be one man who fights all comers, but there are other points of leverage than raw strength alone. Learn to use them or fail your goals and die in misery."

She turned to Kenichi. "And you. The ninja needed to learn that the sword shouldn't be his only tool. You need to remember that the sword is your tool. No matter how much you dress it up in ceremony and honor and oaths, at the end of the day, the sword is a tool that you use to kill people. If you are not using it to kill people, then you are not using your sword. It is fine," she looked at Zabuza for a moment, "to use other tools, when the situation is right.

"But, when the sun sets, if you are a swordsman, and you had a problem that could have been solved with your sword, yet you did not draw it? Then you have failed."

Kenichi took a half-step forward. "Sensei, I do not know if there was a-"

She interrupted him, fire suddenly in her eyes. "Were the Irabi Shogun assassinated by your hand rather than a ninja's, then you would have suffered very different consequences. On the battlefield, certainly you would be applauded. But you could just as well have used your ninja allies to sneak into his home and strike him down in the baths. Dishonorable, yes, but a move that certainly gets you the victory you want. Now you are both dishonored and a loser. Is this a better world?"

Kenichi looked down. "No, sensei."

"Well," she said, clapping her hands together, "to sum it up for you idiots…" She pointed to Zabuza. "Kill people less." She pointed to Kenichi. "Kill people more."

Zabuza nodded. "Was it really worth dodging us for a month to get that lesson across? It's six words."

"No more backtalk. Now, while I take care of business, why don't the two of you take a swim in the Maelstrom," she said, gesturing to the roiling mass of black clouds behind her. A particularly large lightning bolt surged through the storm, cracking in a burst of red against a patch of sea near the island. "Out and back, before sundown. Each of you grab one of the totems from that little port town to prove you did it. You've both clearly lost your edge, and you should get your physical conditioning back before we return to swords."

Neither of them moved, so she made a shooing motion with her one hand. "Go on now. Get."

Slowly, reluctantly, they started to make their way down to the beach.

o-o-o-o

Kakashi looked out over the edge of the boat and sighed. The journey had been smooth, and there was nothing much to do. He'd considered trying to work on Chidori some more, but however dangerous technique hacking was on an open field, it was easily twice that in a small, cramped boat. He'd already trained everything worth working on that he could in a tiny ship like this. He didn't want to hit the Icha Icha too hard – he remembered how bad it had gotten in that hole in Honey.

He shuddered. That had been bad.

Hmm… maybe he could work on a technique that was smaller scale? Something that used less chakra, like a small utility technique. Having something that he was happy to give out would let him make some good jutsu trades with other ninja in the future…

No, he could still feel his chakra coils complaining from the experience with the beekeeping Clan in Honey. It was easier to manage than at first, when he'd had pain even when water-walking, but he still couldn't form jutsu without severe pain, and even chakra enhancement hurt, and came in stutters and jolts.

Well, at least this wasn't the most useless thing he could do while recovering from that injury. The Sea thing had been a bust, admittedly, but he'd maybe made inroads with a powerful missing-nin. The operation in Rain was more promising – securing a summoner as an ally would be incredibly valuable, never mind Shizuka's insane stealth abilities. Having her around could be very, very useful.

He sighed again, leaning against the edge of the boat and using chakra adhesion to keep him steady through the motion of the waves. A few of the crew working the deck diligently tried not to notice his obvious use of ninja powers. Sadly, thanks to that samurai showdown on the docks, the crew had seen the three of the ninja water-walking. He'd need to catch up with Shizuka sometime and decide how they would deal with it – probably by sinking the ship a few miles out of port.

What exactly was he doing out here? Was this really a valuable use of his time? He had a goal – to become strong enough to find the person who had killed Sensei and destroy him, and to dig up the roots of evil that had spread throughout Leaf.

The Sea thing had been a waste of time, in retrospect. Would this adventure in Rain be a waste of time as well? If he didn't find a way to contribute, and she didn't end up grateful to him and willing to go along, then yes, it would be. But with his injury, would he be strong enough to help? He wouldn't be able to fight, but he still had useful ninjutsu… but Kagato was a summoner, and his summons would have a wider range of ninjutsu than he did.

He had Shadow Clones at least, and those were a good intelligence and coordination tool. He probably wouldn't be as skilled as Shizuka at the infiltration thing, but he could be useful if more than one target needed to be approached at once. And he could still put chuunin in their graves easily enough, even if his chakra coils were still busted up.

It'd take some work, but he could probably position himself well enough to make things work. So maybe this wasn't a waste of time, in that it helped him acquire power. But did it actually help him achieve his goals?

He still didn't know who had killed Minato-sensei. The masked man had been there, in Demon, but to Kagato's knowledge, after he left, he didn't return. Where had he gone? How could Kakashi find out who he was, or what his weaknesses were? Maybe he could ask Kagato again if Gongen and the other Demon ninja had found anything in that strange place under the mountain that could let Kakashi guess where the masked man's next target would be.

As to rooting out the evils in Leaf… how could he even make progress on that? He wasn't as strong as the Hokage or the Sannin, and maybe he never would be, so getting stronger alone wasn't going to be the answer. His advantage was being outside of Leaf, not being constrained by its rules and laws… how could he convert that into finding the people in Leaf that had leaked the intel leading to Sensei's death?

He didn't know.

How could he find answers to those questions, so he could figure out what to do?

He didn't know.

In Leaf, he'd had mentors, not just Sensei, that he could have turned to with these questions. Well, maybe not these questions specifically, but with problems like this. He was good at problem solving. When he had all the tools available, he could figure out how to fit things together in the right way. But he didn't even know what points of leverage he had, how he could even get the information needed to understand his goals.

He sighed again. Well, something to think about, at least.

He stared out into the horizon a while longer, waiting for ideas to come to him. They did not.

He rubbed his eye. The time had flown, and the sun was low in the sky. Still daylight, but soon it would start fading. He must have been getting tired, because the horizon seemed to be warping.

He looked again. No, there was still a bulge in the sea. It wasn't an island, it was blue like the water…

The bulge was growing, and water seemed to be streaming off of it. A couple of sailors had noticed now and had come to the side of the ship to watch the strange bulge. Several of them looked uneasy.

Parts of the bulge were uneven, and where the water had finished streaming off of it, it seemed to be a pale ivory color. It was massive, more than a mile away yet continuing to grow above the horizon as it emerged from the ocean.

The beast raised its head. Kakashi could see none of its features except a pair of antennae at the top of its head.

Then its tails started to rise. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

Well, that solves the problem of how to deal with the crew.

The Six Tailed beast let loose a thunderclap roar that hit his chest like a sledgehammer and started to rush towards the boat with terrifying speed.

For this arc, Kakashi has been awarded 139 XP. This is considerably less than what was possible had you successfully accomplished your main objective.

Voting Time! What do you do now?

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Remember, we use approval voting, so you can vote for as many plans as you like. Feel free to ping @Paperclipped or @MMKII to ask setting or detail questions that Kakashi could plausibly know.

Voting is open, and closes at 2pm PST, Wednesday 08 September.

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