A true hero... in training (Pokemon Gym Leader's apprentice quest)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my quests, about why I sometimes feel like something is missing when I write. I sometimes don't have motivation to write and others I spend days and days writing nonstop.

I realized that the answer was feedback.

I asked myself why do I write and what do I get from writing a quest. I don't have a patreon and people don't ask me for commissions or specific writing in exchange of money… Then I realized that what I get from this is practice. Practice in making stories and characters. What I get from quest is experience. I know I'm kind of decent at writing, that's why people keep reading, but…

I don't want to be a decent writer. I want to be a GREAT one. That's why we are here.

They say you need to practice 10.000 hours to be an expert at something but if you are practicing the wrong way you will only be an expert at doing stuff wrong.

I need feedback to know what exactly I'm doing right. Real feedback. I usually pester people on my discord until someone tells me what they liked and not from the update to shut me up, but that's kind of not a great way of doing it.

Then I had an idea.

I will give bonus to rolls in exchange of that sweet, sweet feedback.

You know when some people just quote their favorite parts of an update with a little comment of how they liked/disliked that part? That works. I need to know if a joke lands or falls flat, if an emotional moment causes feelings or people just kind of read it and keep going. Sometimes I even divide the update into two clear parts, but people only say something about one of them. Sometimes I have an interaction I find really funny in the first half and something more serious later. The more serious part overshadows the less serious one so I'm left wondering if it was funny or it wasn't and should change how I do that kind of interaction.

I like the likes and I'm grateful for them, don't get me wrong. 50 likes in a MHA update? I love that. Everyone likes the internet points, but they don't actually help me get better at this. They help in the sense they tell me I'm doing something right, but not WHAT exactly.

So… Yeah, I plan on giving bonus to dice to each person that gives me feedback, even if it's not much. This is how it works:

• You don't need to do much to get the bare minimum. You can just quote your favorite four or five lines saying "This was funny/sad/epic" or your least favorites saying "This was dumb/too weird/uncomfortable" and you already get a +1 to a roll of your choice.
  
  
• If you quote something and just say "I liked this" it… works but I would prefer if you add something more even if it's just "I liked this because it was funny". Giving me a reason for you liking it makes the feedback 200% more useful.
  
  
• For the feedback to give a bonus it needs to have a minimum depending on update length. If in a 4k update you quote only one sentence with the bare minimum comment about it… I will be grateful but I can't give bonus for that. If you do that but with 4 or 5 bits you liked then sure. I will not ask much.
  
  
• You will get bonus for each time you give me feedback. That bonus is yours and you can use it whenever you want. I will ask before an update with a roll if someone wants to use their bonus and how much of it. I will have a list of people with bonus and how much they have. The bonus is individual so, if you want a roll to have a huge bonus, you will have to make sure everyone uses their points.
  
  
• I will give 1 to 5 bonus for each feedback comment. I might change it depending on how this goes, but that's the standard. 1 is for feedback where you just quote and comment the bare minimum. 5 is for something like actually analyzing the update in-depth, a character or something crazy like that. Something worthy of being almost an omake.
  
  
• IMPORTANT: I don't want just ass-kissing and ego-stroking feedback. Negative feedback is as important as positive. If something about an update was bad I would love to know so I can improve it. But if you give me negative feedback my ego would appreciate if you pair it with something you liked too… Unless it was so bad you didn't like anything in the update.

And that's all. I will post this to all my quests and see how this little experiment goes. If it goes well not only I will get better at writing much quicker but also would give me more motivation to do it.

You decided on doing exercises a bit more relaxed and focus on getting closer to Belle. A part of you really wanted her on the team and… You still remember your last training session the other day. You pokemon deserve a more relaxed one this time.

A shudder goes down your spine as you think back to that day. When you think about Mewtwo and Akahime… You ended up saying nothing to anyone in a mix of fear and wanting to keep your word. It was a secret after all and she seemed to have the pokemon under control.

You shake your head removing those thoughts from your mind. Right now you have to focus on training. Maylene took you again to her training room where you released your pokemon. They were a bit on edge once you released them, maybe expecting another surprise like last time… But they relaxed when they saw the room. Even Maelstrom, who is eternally inexpressive, sighed in relief.

You spent some time alone with them while your friend went to fetch the Bunneary. They seemed calm on the outside even if you could tell they were slightly on edge.

Sitting down on the ground, you patted your knee, beckoning them to you. Fang was the first to approach, probably wanting some attention. He always trie to be a stronger fighter, but once he discovered ear scratches he started to ask for them too instead of only asking for training and food.

Maelstrom flopped on your side too, wanting to be close to his trainer. You gave him some attention too, lightly touching his shiny golden scales. The pokemon felt constantly humid and slightly cold like most water type pokemon. He seemed to relax for real once you started to pet him. It was clear that all your dangerous encounters in the last… two weeks? One? They were affecting them too.

Maylene returned soon, smiling at how you were just relaxing with your pokemon. It was time to train and, with some luck, this would take your minds off all the stuff happening lately.

The training goes well after that. Maylene had some exercises ready to train and help Belle bond closer not only with you as a trainer but with the other pokemon too. The normal pokemon always seemed slightly distant to others but, by how she was starting to act around Maelstrom and Fang, it was clear that they were starting to become friends.


[Belle rel +2]
[Maelstrom Rank up]




That afternoon you decided it was time to show Violet around the city. You asked Maylene to come with you, but she refused. Her wound still hurt. After making her promise that yes, she was going to stay at the gym and not go on any more risky adventures without you, you went to the hospital to pick Violet up.

She was waiting for you at the gardens behind the hospital. She was wearing something closer to a casual dress than the more sturdy clothes she used to wear. She smiled and waved timidly as you approached, her arm now looking fully healed.

"Haru, are you sure you aren't too tired?" She asked the same question she asked twice on the phone just an hour ago. The girl was trying to not be a burden on you, but she worried too much! You shook your head with a smile.

"I told you it's okay. Today's training was a bit lighter and Maylene even allowed me to remove the weighting device for today." You said, lifting your head to show your neck, the stupid black collar removed. It made you feel slightly embarrassed to have it on you, but now your neck felt slightly naked. Maybe you should buy a bowtie or something… Probably something less dorky. For a moment you swear that Violet looked slightly disappointed at your reveal.

"Okay then… So…" She started to say realizing halfway that she had nothing more to add and just had to wait. You realized that she was too shy and awkward to carry this afternoon, so it was your job to do it.

"Right, follow me! I'm going to show you around!" You said perking up and, with a gesture and a smile, you both started to walk away from the hospital, a pair of bright orange eyes observing closely from a window.




"… And then she took a bunch of chocolate coins from her pants. She managed to hide them before the guard caught us!" You say, moving your arms around to emphasize the end of that story from your childhood. It had the desired effect because Violet laughs so much that she almost drops her ice-cream.

After showing her your neighborhood, you two walked from one side to the other of the city, somehow ending up in one of the western parks. It was close to the forest and that made you slightly nervous after what happened to Maylene, but there was still enough civilization around to scare away any strong wild pokemon.

You had to eat your ice-cream quickly to keep talking, but she was still eating hers. Somehow it felt awkward every time you both fell silent. It wasn't a bad awkward but just… weird.

"It seems like you had a lot of fun when you were a kid."‌ She says once she stopped laughing and silence returned. She was clearly more relaxed than before, more relaxed than she's been in the past week. What happened with the Houndoom was hard for everyone.

You were now sitting side to side on a small grassy hill on the western side of the park. In front of you only an artificial lake, the water moving from time to time, probably because the city populated the lake with a peaceful breed of Goldeen. An oasis of nature like this in the city felt calming, even if you weren't exactly in the middle and the real forest was just a couple minutes away.

While sitting in silence, Violet took some timid side glances at you from time to time. You know because you were doing the same. She quickly looked away every time your eyes met, making the silence more and more awkward.

You had to talk about something else.

"So… do you have any stories from your childhood?" You ask as smoothly as humanly possible in the situation. She takes a moment to think about it and then shakes her head.

"Honestly… No. My family is pretty normal and I never had a friend as close as you are with Maylene… I was never too lonely or anything like just… I didn't get into too much trouble and guards never had to chase me around." She says with a smirk. A look only someone who considers herself a good kid could give to a troublemaker like you. You took pride in your troublemakerness.

She stopped talking for a second and you started to look around your brain for more things to talk about, but she kept talking, surprising you. "I think that Lily was my first real friend. Cynthia gave her to me as a Ralts when she was in the middle of her own pokemon journey… I really wanted to be a pokemon trainer like her so I studied and trained really hard."‌ She said. Somehow it felt like she was now talking more to herself than to you. Her words felt heavy and you started to see where this was going… "When we were fighting that Houndoom… I froze. I froze again like I did in that cave, years ago… I… Well, I already told you this, but I can't stop thinking about it, about how I might not be the right trainer for Lily. I'm too weak, too coward…" You open your mouth to talk but she stops you. "I know… I know. I talked to Lily about it… I just… It's been a long time since I've been in a pokemon battle and that one was too brutal but… Maybe if I started slower…"

"Do you want to be a trainer again?"‌ You asked and she nodded going silent, looking at the waters of the lake instead of you.

"I've been thinking about it and I might be ready… But I'm afraid of opening again wounds I want to keep closed…" She bends her knees, moving them closer to her chest to hug them, her face difficult to read. She was clearly dealing with an inner struggle, not knowing what to do… And if she told you all of this…

She wants you to give her your opinion about it.


[] Encourage her to train pokemon again.
[] Dissuade her from training pokemon again. She's clearly not ready yet.

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Sorry for taking so long to write and disappearing like that. I've been having a couple of terrible weeks and my pc kind of exploded/melted.

I somehow managed to scrape enough money to buy a new one and, after a couple of days to get used to a new keyboard, I'm ready to write again.