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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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[X] Do some shopping. Every time you're here on other business you forget and then by the time you remember you're back home and you can't be bothered to make another trip so you put it off for another day and it's just a nightmare. And you really need more spices. You may be a many-ton scaly lightning-breathing magical predator that hunts live game but you're not an animal.
 
"Shopping options? Those are for lesser beings, I'll just buy everything."

I love.
 
I, for one, can't wait until footpads accost us in a location where we don't want to unveil our FULL DRACONIC MAJESTY...

...so we drown them in a wave of highly pressurized mayonnaise
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
Or turns you into one but when a Plutocrat scales up they normally just write it off as a sabbatical and return with even more business acumen and even less morals than before.
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christ.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
very impractical, very expensive, very in.
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ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Ah. The jug disagrees," the construct observes. "However, now that the item is filled with potentially gallons of high-pressure mayonnaise, I politely request that you buy it so as to avoid potential difficulties with future customers."
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i just want you to know that i straight up laughed out loud, not even like a "forceful exhale" straight up laughed

[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.

Obviously we start out trying to do the responsible thing, look at us really! Budgeting our time effectively and buying groceries so our fridge doesn't just have, like, a thing of mayo and a single stick of butter in it when mom comes over and look at these neat magic things we found. But then we get distracted halfway through cleaning and don't get to finish by the time she shows. For that true, perfect, "I'm living on my own and bad at it"/"I should not have control over my own schedule" feeling.
 
Oh god what if mother (or a love interest) opens the jug of pressurized mayo and it sprays them full in the face?
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.
 
[X] Make arrangements for your shopping to be delivered in a few days instead and take flight in search of one of the other five treasures. You will almost certainly be late for your meeting with mother, but treasure definitely outranks her.
--[X] A small island off the southeast coast of the Republic. It'll be a bit of a flight, but as far as you can tell it's some kind of lost city half-reclaimed by the waves. You're not afraid of a little water, unlike some dragons.

Trying to please mummy is a fool's errand anyway. Let's go on an adventure!
 
also I love how dragons are literally supercapitalists with even less morals and more money

And Ten's argument is extremely compelling.

[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to clean up exhaustively. Leave her as little to criticise as possible. For every inch you give her she can and will take a mile.
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.
 
[x] Return home immediately
-[x] Refrigerate that mayo right away. Then and only then clean exhaustively

If there are robots in this setting there are refrigerators
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
It's like its own second city under the city, any lingering rock in the way quarried out and used to line the walls, rune-rimmed floor-to-ceiling windows gazing out into the waters of the cove itself as curious fish bonk against the shimmering translucent barrier, mouths flapping gormlessly. You think it got expanded last year, peeking out past the cove itself like the tip of an extended tongue to catch a falling flake of snow. Getting a little adventurous, but more space means more trade means more sweet, sweet money.
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Oh, that's a really pretty image. Market that doubles as an undersea aquarium.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
[ ] A rugged brass tube inlaid with clear crystal, sealed despite your idle attempts to crack it open. The automaton explains that it cannot be opened prior to purchase for the obvious reason that it's a map and looking basically constitutes borrowing. You doubt it's lying, and you can certainly smell magic in the contents.
[ ] A detached blued steel gauntlet with individual articulated fingers - very impractical, very expensive, very in. There's a ruby set in the back and, upon closer inspection, a series of small blades set in inside of the wrist. Possibly some kind of blood magic focus. Possibly some kind of elaborate automatic-suicide-glove.
[ ] A silver-hafted trident with a head carved from living coral. The automaton helpfully explains that it is said to command the loyalty of fish. You're surprised one of the actual fishermen that lives around here hasn't snatched it up already.
[ ] Haftani's Pouch of Infinite Spices. By speaking its name, the user is able to extract the spice they wish to use on their bland, bland meal a pinch at a time. Good for ten pinches a day, refreshing once exposed to the light of a new sunrise. You are again very surprised someone hasn't already bought this.
[ ] A corked, flawlessly glazed ceramic jug exquisitely decorated in an intricate pattern of pouring, flowing liquids. The automaton explains that it can spontaneously produce one liquid of choice per day, magically pouring forth said liquid up to a certain volume before abruptly shutting off again. The limit varies depending on the liquid.
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No word of a lie, my initial reaction to this was - "wow, I wish we could get all of this" and then

ZerbanDaGreat said:
You think on it carefully. It is indeed a curious and eclectic mix of items, one that requires careful-

Actually you're rich and you want everything so you buy the lot.
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This was good.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
It's a magic map alright, depicting the known world and a little ways beyond it - island chains in the infinite ocean, points of interest in the infinite desert, valleys and caverns in the infinite mountain ranges, that sort of thing. Usually the Beyond changes once someone's observed it and come back, but maybe those rules don't apply when you have a magic map. And a magic compass you observe, holding it up to the light. Where normally one would simply be illustrated there lies a hole cut in the map in which a tiny scarlet spear freely spins, suspended in empty air. Only it doesn't seem to be pointing north at all.
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The Beyond? Randomly generated content with mobs, I'm guessing?

ZerbanDaGreat said:
Hm. You slow to a stop, shuffling to the side and out of the main thoroughfare so as you ponder the map more carefully. There are locations marked already by glittering motes of golden light, circling seven locations in all across the continent. One of them is right here in Söfnun. Another is... back at your lair? Is it pointing to other treasures? That only makes the most sense, doesn't it?
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Wait. A map. Showing dots. One in Söfnun. "Here There Be Dragons"? Or more specifically a Husbando map? Because if the latter we're gonna have serious questions for the (probably charming and suave) bastard in our lair.

If the former, our mother is already in our lair. :o

[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.

"I tried to clean, but I was trying to find something shiny/husband-y/oh god you were already here."
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.

[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.
 
[X] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.
 
[X] Return home immediately. Take the magical doodads on hand, take your wagon full of supplies, and fly back to your lair.
--[X] Use the extra time to try and figure out which particular item in your hoard the map is pointing towards. Its light-spot isn't any bigger than the others so you reason it must be just the one thing too.

Might as well make it look nice for the mother. Then you can lie and tell your mother that you're a functional adult dragon. Maybe she'll buy it this time.
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.

"Well I was already in town, and I, uh, didn't want to have to make another trip y'know?"
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.

I mean, she's gonna be pissed at us regardless, might as well potter around a bit and find something interesting.

Also buying up everything was hilarious and I laughed I love this dragon
 
[x] Linger in Söfnun a little longer and search for whatever it is the map is pointing you towards here. You won't have any extra time at home to prepare but you won't be late either.
 
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