So I got my skype group to play PATROL. Small squad, consisting of a Pragmatic Marksman(
@azoicennead ), a Pragmatic Point(
@Tahu1809 ), and an Egocentric Firebug(
@Scia ) and 3 NPC Riflemen. Now I haven't run a game in a while, and I feel like I may have done my players a disservice, since I tried to make the game do some things it wasn't supposed to do.
The mission was fairly simple: Head towards the site of a helicopter crash 12 KM from the firebase. Retrieve any survivors, bodies, or dog tags. If there is anything glowing, backtrack to make contact, and then return to the crash site and do the hokey pokey. If required, destroy the helicopter so it does not fall into the wrong hands. Wear the issued bow ties at all times.
At this point, the base commander set his fez on his head and let the squad know that on a scale of one to "Democratic National Convention" the betting pool had their odds at "New Hampshire Primary." On exiting the firebase, a psy-ops copter finishes refueling and takes off, blasting Vivaldi at 140 dB.
There then follows a short IC argument about wearing the boots vs. not wearing the boots, because going barefoot somehow makes you go faster with no mechanical downsides.
The squad quick marches along the road to the village, where they encounter a farmer. They take time to talk with him, asking for any news or anything interesting happening in the village. The farmer gives them all the juicy rumors about who's sleeping with who.
The squad reaches the village and attempt to find out what's going on while alternating who gets to take rests. The Firebug attempts to flirt with a local lady and is rebuffed. They also refill their canteens.
The squad strikes out into the jungle when suddenly TIGER ATTACK! Except this is the rare Derp Tiger, because it FUBARs it's Conceal roll. The squad shoots the tiger, and it FUBARs the shock check and dies from injury. The squad decides to use the tiger's body for food, so I give them a bonus to Forage. The Point gets three success and two failures, gaining three food and two dirty water. (Much joking about tiger blood.) The point then decides that he wants to skin the tiger. But the Derp Tiger has it's revenge, because he FUBARs. The squad then decides that the best way to deal with the tiger corpse is to burn it, so they just kind of make a barbecue pit and dump the tiger corpse into it.
More hiking, and they arrive at the downed chopper. Except there are no bullet holes. The only damage on the outside is the paint being scratched from landing in the jungle. The back is full of unmarked crates, and in the cockpit, every dial and gauge has been neatly removed from the panel and set on the co-pilot's chair.
They pry open the crate and find unmarked ammo cans that look slightly off. The Point takes his tool kit and ties to repair the copter, but he keeps FUBAR'ing. It's not like he needed those vacuum tubes anyway. Meanwhile the NPCs have been trying to get the ammo cans open, only to find that under the lid was another lid with a 5-dial lock. Shooting the lock didn't work, and after attempting a Defuse/Disable Trap action (because there are no mechanics for lockpicking at all, HINT HINT) they find that the contents of the ammo can are glowing.
Squad then decides that since it is impossible to contact Command, they must do the Hokey Pokey and then destroy the copter. While setting up the trail of fuel for use as a fuse, they find a neatly arranged pile of dog tags with the names scratched out. The Firebug then spends all the fuel left in the tank of the chopper and one of his own fuel to have pool of
fifty six(!) for arson. He lights the entire [expletive] mountainside on fire, and the squad quick marches back to the village. They rest a bit, and then head back towards command, arriving a little over twenty four hours after they left. On the way in to the firebase, they pass a squad of special forces practicing precision maneuvers on their red tricycles.
End result, ~10XP, 1 permanent fatigue, and figuring out that I need to send the team on longer missions where they won't be able to take time to rest for two hours out of every six.
