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DEGENERATION THEORY: DEATH, TAXES, SLAVERY

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    • loneWanderer [LW] engages in subscribing to a monthly juice press service with shinobiBadass [SB]!
    SB:     What do you want?
    LW: Hey, so... can I join the Shinobi Thieves?
    SB: Oh, its you. Finally decided to do something worthwhile huh? Can't blame you, everyone wants in on the shinobi. Guards try to lay the crackdown but they ain't fooling nobody, they're nothing. Nothing a few cats can't handle. And a good shinobi's got the cats to spare, baby.
    LW: The Hub doesn't have any guards though, this place is-
    SB: Look, you can join, for a fee.
    LW: ...That's it? I don't have to complete a test to prove myself or something?
    SB: Does this look like a social club to you? We're running a business, not a daycare for wannabe heroes. I do not have time to hand out busy work to every would-be Tinfist. The majority of you losers die on your first ill-advised romp in the wasteland. One time fee, ten thousand cats.
    SB: So what'll it be, do you want to join the guild?
    LW: Ten thousand cats seems a little steep...
    SB: You wanna use our facilities, you gotta pay for em. If you can't afford it, you're obviously not a very good thief.
    LW: Well, what do I get in return for all that money?
    SB: You get yourself some allies. We have hideouts like this one in lots of major towns. We watch each other's backs, Shinobi Thieves stick together. Its a safe haven for you to rest and recover, we don't squeal on our own no matter the bounty. We have specialist training equipment to use, you can sell your stolen items to our fence, and he sells some hard to find weapons, clothes, armor and equipment at a huge discount.
    LW: Okay so, lets say I don't actually have the ten thousand cats...
    SB: In which case you just wasted my time, and I would kindly ask you to fuck off, and not come back without my damn money.
     
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    • NOTHING TO LOSE BUT DIGNITY
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    • The Hub is a wreck of a settlement dominated by the Holy Nation Outlaws, Trade Ninjas, and Shinobi Outlaws. There's some Drifters, Vagrants, and Mercenaries about but they have no actual power in the walls, there's a representative of the Hounds sitting in the bar, she might have a lead for you. You could try to join any of these, or you could just mine copper or iron outside the city walls until you earn enough to join the Shinobi. And just now, a caravan of Slave Traders is passing through The Hub, and that's a trade that's well paid. They're in good with the empire, too. You also know about those Starving Bandits that just passed by the gates and the Dust Bandits have a strong grip on the Border Zone, the greedy rat bastards.
     
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    • [X] Get to mining some Ore, maybe hauling all that heavy metal will make you stronger!
     
    AFTER TWO DAYS OF MINING
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    • Two days pass under the hot sun, two days pass of hauling slightly undervalued iron, and significantly undervalued copper to the local bar to sell. Maggie takes it off your hands without question, and soon enough you've accumulated a total of 5026 cats in your purse, jangling all pretty-like. By now you've burned through both the jerky and the bread, and it might be time to make some purchases, the Trade Ninjas have some shoddy weapons, food, bandages, building supplies... you could always just grab a meat wrap and get back to mining for the Trade Ninjas, it's a safe choice.
     
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    • [X] Get a heavy rock and "procure" some merchandise from the less fortunate parts of the settlement to trade with the Slave Traders.

    I choose to be the bad guy.
     
    [X] Buy some food, some protection better than an iron bar -- maybe something besides rags to wear? -- and just keep saving.
     
    CATS WALKING INTO YOUR POCKETS
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    • You trade in your rusting junk pipe, for a rusting junk combat cleaver and a meat wrap, returning to mining for another day. Unfortunately, there is no good opportunity to procure merchandise for the Slave Traders, as even if you could win a fight against one of your neighbors, the rest would turn on you. That is, until that small pack of starvers you saw lurking about finally stormed the gates. All seven of them are now bleeding out just outside of town. They have rusted junk, some better rags, but you know you saw at least one prosthetic limb on them, even if it was hive-made. Do you want to buy some bandages and save them? Loot them and leave them to die? Or maybe buy some bandages to save them, and still rob them all blind?
     
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    • [X] Take their stuff and leave 'em there. Sell the "valuables" including the limb. Try and get a yet better weapon, maybe even some scrap armor, and then talk to the agent of the Hounds. Play it cool.
     
    [X] Buy some bandages to save them, and rob them blind, and sell them off, then pat yourself on the back for doing a good deed.
     
    THAT BORDER ZONE FIT
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    • The only decent clothes in The Hub can be bought from the shinobi, so you stole all these off the backs of those starvers. At least you saved six out of the seven of them and gained some valuable medical experience at the same time. You feel like next time, you probably won't fail to save some starving vagrant if you have enough bandages. What's more, after all the mining and pilfering of pockets, you feel a little stronger, and somewhat more athletic, a smidgen better at basic theft, and far better at laboring for pay. You sell the combat cleaver and instead opt for the horse chopper you found on one of the starvers. After buying bandages, and selling what crap was on the starvers, this is what you're left with. That and what you took from the old man's house. A full day has passed, and you consider your options. There are six comatose starving bandits outside the walls, the gang representative for the Hounds in the bar, and you could put your new experience at mining ore to mine more ore for the trade ninjas.
     
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    • LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
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    • Two more days pass, in which time those starvers picked themselves up and left, but not before thanking you for mending their wounds. You feel that your reputation with the roaming bands of hungry ex-slaves from the holy nation has slightly increased. Not enough apparently, as with your pockets laden with copper, you are accosted by two starving bandits, with rusty metal pipes. Should you get in your first real fight or run to the bar guards?
    Radiohead threw 1 100-faced dice. Reason: Draw them into town and fight! Total: 69
    69 69
     
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    • [X] Run to the guards, but see if we can hit one from behind while they're distracted to get a little practice in.
     
    A MAN OF WEALTH
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    • Leading the bandits into town reveals they had split off from a larger group of starving bandits, who were attempting to rob The Hub while getting their asses handed to them. You get yourself beaten quite badly but manage to get some hits in with your junk sword, and more valuable medical experience. Selling what you can from your patients, the copper in your pockets, and another mangled prosthetic from one unfortunate guy, you find you're just above the membership fee to enter the shinobi. Maggie looks at you with some concern as you down the last of the booze left from the old man. Why is she just now starting to look worried about you? What gives her the right? You're going to be somebody now, a shinobi ninja.
     
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    • LEND ME AN EAR, I'LL PAY YOU BACK
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    • loneWanderer [LW] lends his ear to traderMaggie [TM] wait, doesn't this go the other way around?
    TM: Hey, kid?
    LW: What Maggie? I'm about to become a Shinobi.
    TM: Look, I know it's been hard on you since you lost the old man. Seen you scurrying around The Hub lately.
    LW: You were happy enough buying my ore, didn't seem worried about me then.
    TM: You know how these things work. But you've been doing some good too. I saw how you fixed up those bums after they got tossed out.
    TM: You're not a bad guy, and I don't want you going down a bad path. You were a good kid growing up y'know?
    LW: Is this going anywhere fast?
    TM: Is making friends with the Shinobi a bad idea? Not really, it's good to have people who watch your back out there.
    TM: But is becoming a career thief really what you want to do? Is that the mark you want to make on this world?
    LW: What, stay a trade ninja contract miner, keep mining copper and iron for the rest of my life? Yeah, right, that's a life well spent.
    TM: Kid, it's a fucked up world. Just try to do what you can to make it a little less fucked.
     
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