feedback appreciated

You've been thinking a lot about choices lately, and how obvious the right answer is in hindsight. "Should I have bought more and maybe better food before going through Reflection Cave?" Yes, as the last can of beans bubbling next to the fire in front of you illustrates. "Should I have let Ziggy...

Prologue From behind, the other passengers of the cruise liner Oceana would be forgiven for assuming that Aevis Willow was just a normal teenager. The boy made for a mundane sight, huddling against the ocean breeze in a dark green jacket over a white shirt and khaki pants. The lower parts of...

Your full title is "The Empyreal Threat Analysis and Countermeasure Development Network", but your human creators simply nicknamed you Eta. You are an experimental artificial intelligence designed to assist in their research of the Warp and the development of possible defenses against the...

AN: This was originally posted in my snippet thread and the AdMis thread. Hopefully, prior setting knowledge will not be required, and the story may contain Supergirl and/or Administrative Mishap spoilers because of it. Prior knowledge will at least help, though. Queen Administrator was...

Chapter 1 - As If a Dream It was the dream that did it. Or at least that's what he tried to tell himself any time he looked back on that day. Rather than a sudden or shocking change, it was a gradual transition. One moment he was dreaming of shaping worlds with finely tuned tools while...

Everything hurt, that much was certain. The wolves that had attacked me, that I had just barely driven off with my newly mastered move, had left their mark on my body. Wincing in pain as one of the various wounds covering my body throbbed, I continued limping back to my den. Those damn wolves…...

Taking one last swig of cheap alcohol I drop the bottle from my lips to the ground, empty. My name is Abram and after 48 days I've failed the cycle once again. I thought I had all the answers, that I was strong enough to keep going, but in the end, I'm just a failure. I could never do it before...

Wanted to try writing again, decided to try something with dialogue, and only dialogue. Any feedback would be great. ----- “Lacuna?” “I am here, mammal.” “First, don’t call me mammal. My name is Riley, use it. Second, get up. We're having a roommate meeting.” “I cannot get up. We...

Packing everything up to run away was an experience, you could say that much. The days spent carefully squirreling away your belongings, specifically the ones that you absolutely had to take with you, into a hiking backpack. Buying items from stores, then immediately hiding them away, afraid...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ride of the dragoon! Worldbuilding Ah...

AN: For those who have a strong preference, there is a separate poll for which viewpoint (first-person, second-person, third-person, or the narrative vs. vote contrast seen in this OP) will be used for the quest. I’ll retroactively edit the OP to match the winner after a few days. EDIT: Annnd...

Authors Note: I love the Yakuza Series. I love its wackiness, its seriousness, how it's tone varies to cover so many topics and subjects. From the myth of the neighbourhood Yakuza clashing with the brutal criminal reality, from Karoake to gang wars. But for such a diverse cast, despite its...

Hi I am looking to do slow-motion micro filming with a compacted Camera (Sony RX M6) I have researched online and found that the best one would be 1:1 ratio So I was just wondering if people know what anything more about them. Also check out a video I've done. Love all feedback on how to...

Chapter 1: Hearthhome Tavern ‘Warm yourself by the hearth.’ Such was what was written on the plaque, lazily hung over a peg. It was… not exactly the most splendid advertisement. After all, those who knew how to read and write were few and far between. It be better to etch out what the inn had...

What a fool you had been. You are Brent Harley, 23rd richest man in the world. Though you suppose none of that matters now. You were born to a well-off family of doctors and entrepreneurs, even if your dad was a boor who made money flipping antiques. Though your starting point was high, you...

Hello there! I have some characters I am making for a story I plan to write, and I would love some feed back. I have a 5 man band set up, with some basic backstory and goals for them. Tell me what you think? Amelia: The daughter of a farmer with a deep talent for nature magic, she is drawn to a...

QM’s Note: Yes, I know I have a ton of quests already, but I have 0 empire-builders. I wanted to try one and I was able to redirect my muse from an even less productive project in the process. I also made a separate poll (link at the end of this first post) for what POV to write this in. It’s...

Blockade Runner a Star Wars Story - News of the destruction of the DEATH STAR has spread among the galaxy like wildfire. Across a thousand worlds IMPERIAL authorities struggle to retain order without the SENATE while worlds slip through their fingers. In the OUNTOONA sector in the...

I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast axleless wheels of stone Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a shattered windshield lies, whose frown, And worn bumper, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive...

Applicant. Budget. Rejection. Applicant. Turnover. Rejection. Applicant. ...Overqualified? Rejection! Applicant. Underqualified! Rejection! ...Applicant... Lifespan. Rejection. APPLICANT! Unprofessional! Relaxation. ...Lacks goals. Rejection. ...Applicant. Youth. QUOTA! ...Employment.

"Why is everything so dark," I thought as I tried to move my body, only to not feel anything at all as if I was a brain floating in nothingness. Maybe I was; I tried to remember what happened before everything went black. I remember a plane, then lots of screaming and the sickening smell of...

AN: As with It’s Not Wrong, this isn’t an actual fusion. There’s just overlap, similarity, lies, and misinterpretation. Knowledge of @Avalanche's quest BAHHSCQ isn’t required (especially since liberties have been taken), but is highly recommended; it’s an excellent read and you’ll probably enjoy...

Author's Note: This was originally compiled in my snippet thread, but was getting too large to keep it there. It's also closer to "crack treated seriously" or “crack played straight” than Sanctioned was, but I'm having a lot of fun with it anyway. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Knowledge of...

Alright, so, I'm posting this thing because I want feedback: I intend to start writing this next month, and so I want to catch any issues or things I could improve before then. Oh, and no, this isn't a Puella Magi knockoff- even though I am a huge fan of the franchise. Anyways, the basic...

“So, you want to be a vampire?” were the last words I heard before a bottle was shoved past my lips. As I started blacking out, I wondered if I had possibly made a serious mistake, not catching the tail end of the rant I recieved. My mind flooded with information once I fully lost...well, not...