No space ninjas were harmed in the making of this snippet. But several hundred robots, body horrors, evil clone soldiers and greedy merchant zealots were.
Chapter 24.4
The gate guards were almost caught unawares by Misato's exit, not expecting the woman to zoom out of NERV as fast as she had arrived, if not faster. The rapidly approaching roar of the engine was the only warning the man at the gate controls got. If he had been a second slower, he would have had to face the wrath of an angry woman for delaying her return home to her foster son's birthday party.
And for letting the tires on her precious car get shredded. But mostly for the delay.
Even after several defensive driving courses, the Section Two drivers simply couldn't keep up with the blue sports car and its maniacal driver. The head of NERV's security division had eventually thrown up his hands in exasperation and assigned two gunships to guard the Supreme Commander of NERV during her car trips, stating, "Damn the fuel cost, we'd have to pay more to repair the cars anyway."
If anybody was actually going to pursue the Commander, and be capable and crazy enough to match her manoeuvres, the Section Two head was going to seriously consider hiring them.
Inside the car, Rei appeared to be eagerly looking forward to the party as she sat in the front passenger seat. Asuka was almost bouncing in the back seat, a stark contrast to her attitude during the previous ride. Shinji was slouched low to avoid looking outside, but seemed surprisingly relaxed.
Misato checked the rear view mirror and grinned to herself as the aircraft were forced to slow down and ascend to continue over the city. She didn't know why, but the woman found it enjoyable to push Section Two to work harder in their efforts to escort her to and from work. Whoever became the next head of NERV would probably have the greatest drivers in the world protecting them.
When the car reached the apartment building, Asuka had her door open almost before the vehicle had come to a complete stop. As the group made their way to the Katsuragi residence, a certain Section Two agent ducked behind a vending machine as the Second Child walked past in the lobby.
**
"Right. No more interruptions. We're having this damn party now!"
As soon as Asuka's declaration was finished, she took out a knife and began to cut the Black Forest Cake. The first slice went to the guest of honour, and since Misato had been talking about the cake all day, the second went to her.
Shinji spent half a minute admiring his slice, until Asuka looked at him in the middle of cutting a piece for Sakura and asked, "What's the matter, you think the cake is bad?" Apprehension crept into her voice.
"Huh?" Shinji jerked up. "Oh, no! Quite the opposite! You did a wonderful job, Asuka. I almost don't want to eat it because it just looks that great."
The redhead turned more red at the compliment, before coughing and saying, "W-well, it wasn't all just me. Hikari and I worked on the cake together."
"Ah. Well then, you both did a wonderful job."
As Hikari gave her thanks and Asuka stuttered over her own, Shinji used his spoon to dig into the slice, bringing a piece up to his mouth. The moment his lips closed around the morsel, his eyes shot wide open. "No, this is amazing!" he exclaimed after hastily chewing and swallowing.
Rei was next to try the cake. She had almost the same reaction as Shinji, but took her time to enjoy the mouthful before saying, "I do not believe I have ever tasted something as wonderful as this."
The compliments did nothing for the Second Child's ability to speak, especially when Misato and the guests weighed in with their own positive feedback. Instead, she stuffed a large piece of cake into her mouth and mumbled something that she hoped would be interpreted as, "You're welcome."
She was the first person to finish her slice. It really was a great cake. Before it had been cut up, the decoration had been exquisite, thanks to Hikari's idea of practising for quite a while on the test cake. The trial run had ended with a cake that had looked like someone had thrown a whipped cream grenade at it and then tossed a handful of maraschino cherries and chocolate on top, but that hadn't stopped Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari's family from enjoying it.
Asuka's only regrets had been that both the short notice and her age had prevented her from procuring the Kirschwasser needed,as well as the sad fact that she couldn't get her hands on any black cherries, either. German law would state that it was not a true Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte without both ingredients, but at least that didn't matter here.
Next time, Asuka was going to do it a hundred percent right.
The cake was consumed with great relish, until only a couple of pieces were left. The dishes were cleared away, and colourfully wrapped presents took their place on the table. It took Misato a moment to realise why Rei was starting to look upset as the bluenette looked around the table, until she realised that Rei was the only one at the table without a gift for Shinji. But just as Misato was about to make a suggestion, the First Child's jaw set as she looked back at her.
"Misato, I need your assistance," she said. "I must go and acquire a present for Shinji."
Misato, Asuka, and even Shinji insisted that she didn't need to worry about it, but Rei remained resolute. After several minutes of debate, Misato gave up and fetched her keys.
"With the way you drive, at least you'll be back quickly," Asuka remarked to their retreating backs. She turned back to the table. "Now then, who gets to go first?"
**
"Do you have an idea of what you want to get for him, Rei?" Misato asked as the Renault left the apartment block's parking lot. "Or even where to go?"
"Please take me to a department store."
Misato shrugged, and gunned the engine. There were a couple suitable places, so she headed for the closest one. The NERV plates on her beloved car let her pass by two police vehicles unimpeded, the driver of one simply waving to the woman as she sped past.
Once out of the car, Rei immediately headed for the nearest map of the store and scanned it intently. As soon as Misato caught, up the girl was off already before she could even guess where Rei was going. She had never seen the First Child so... intent about something while outside of an entry plug. All she could do was follow along as Rei made a beeline for the...
Home appliance department?
"Uh, Rei?" asked Misato uncertainly.
"Yes?" Rei replied, not looking away from the leaflet she had just picked up.
Misato glanced over the girl's shoulder as politely as she could. "What are you looking for?"
"Cooking is one of Shinji's few passions. You have seen how much he enjoys it." Rei's finger trailed along the sheet as she spoke. "I will give him a gift that will aid with that passion." She paused for a moment as a thought occurred. "I... would require your permission for this gift though."
Rei set off once more, passing by several appliances. Soon, they were walking amongst stoves, and the bluenette stopped in front of one that to Misato's eye looked much the same as the ones surrounding it, only with different colours or slightly altered knobs and dials.
"A... stove? Your birthday present to Shinji will be a stove?" Misato asked incredulously, then sighed. "This is what you wanted my permission for. Replacing an appliance in my apartment."
To be perfectly fair, the apartment block, along with every other building in the suburb, had been built some time before the fortress city that Tokyo-3 had eventually become. And Misato's attempts at cookery had likely not done her current appliances any favours. There was still one major concern on the woman's mind though, and she voiced it.
"Damn, look at the price on this one," Misato remarked as she read the price tag. "This might be the most expensive stove in the store. Maybe the entire city..."
"The price does not matter. I can afford it," Rei replied. A smile was forming on her face as she examined the stove.
"Are you sure? That's a lot of digits."
The First Child held up her NERV ID card. "For years I have been a test pilot. To avoid suspicion, Gendo Ikari decided that I was to be paid as such. I did not require much to live as I did. Even now, I have not had much reason to touch that money." She thought to herself, and gave a rough estimate of how much money she had.
Misato had to grab onto the stove as the shock nearly knocked her off her feet, her eyes almost popping out of her face. "Oh... kay," she finally managed to say as she stood back up. "Well... I can see you've got your heart set on this. Let's buy it and get back home."
As she looked over the stove, Misato struggled for a moment to think if there would be any problems fitting the thing into her kitchen, until she remembered that there was room to move the fridge if necessary.
Rei's smile grew larger as she thanked her, and Misato couldn't help but return it.
As they made their way to the counter to buy the stove, Misato almost bowled Rei over as the bluenette stopped suddenly in front of a cookware display. The look in Rei's eyes gave the woman pause.
"Really, Rei?" she sighed out in resignation.
**
Rei and Misato surprised everybody at the party on their return. Not due to how long they were gone, rather that they both apparently came back empty-handed. At the roomful of raised eyebrows and inquisitive looks, Misato explained that Rei's gift was too large to fit into the back of her car, and that it was getting delivered tomorrow morning. The contents of the table then caught the woman's eye. The presents were exactly where they were when Misato and Rei had left, unopened.
"Hey, weren't you going to open the other presents while we were gone?" she asked.
"Yeah, but then the Stooges got arguing over who should go first," Asuka explained with a sigh. "It descended into us using your Super Famicom to fight it out. And..." she glared at one of the two boys, "Kensuke somehow won."
The spectacled boy grinned smugly. Next to him, Toji crossed his arms sulkily. "I woulda won if you hadn't stolen my fireball guy, Red," he said.
"Not my fault you were too slow," Asuka retorted.
"And besides, Toji," Kensuke butted in. "I keep telling you that you can't win just by throwing fireballs."
"Kicked your ass before."
"Once. Because my controller broke."
"Okay that's enough, both of you!" Hikari ordered. The two boys immediately shut up as the girl used her authoritative voice to stop yet another argument. She continued, in a much nicer tone, "At least now Misato and Rei get to see Shinji react to the gifts."
With that said, everybody gathered around the dining table once more, and the unwrapping finally began.
Shinji pulled at the tape holding Kensuke's small and square present closed. What came out was a box showing a fancy-looking digital watch. Half of the front of the box was taken up by what looked like twenty different features.
"My present's actually kind of a companion gift to Toji's," Kensuke explained. "I'll wait until you've opened his before I tell you what that watch can do."
Giving the technology junkie a warm smile, Shinji then looked towards Asuka, who had come a very close second in the impromptu tournament. She cautiously handed him an oblong parcel before snatching her hand back. He was confused to see what almost looked like worry in the redhead's eyes as he began to unwrap it.
The box looked almost as good as what it contained, if the impressed murmurs all around the room as Shinji carefully set it down on the table were anything to go by. But that was nothing compared to the look on his face as he opened the box and saw what was inside.
Asuka would remember that look for a very long time.
Shinji gingerly brought the bow out into view of the others at the table, holding it as if it were a fragile glass ornament.
"Damn, that looks neat," said Toji. He leaned sideways and whispered to Kensuke, "So... what is it?" Kensuke buried his face in his hand in disbelief.
Asuka sighed exasperatedly. "It's for Shinji's cello, you dunce. That's what you use to play one."
"Ooohh." Toji frowned. "Wait, which one is the cello? Kidding!" he hastily added as Asuka looked ready to erupt.
Shinji hadn't been paying attention to the banter around him, still focused on the masterwork bow in front of him. A discreet note inside the box stated the materials used in the making of the bow. His eyebrows went up at what wood had been used. "Asuka..." he breathed.
"If you attempt to bring up anything about the price, there'll be trouble," Asuka warned. "Price doesn't matter. I only have one stipulation for you."
"A-a stipulation?"
"Yes." The Second Child folded her arms. "I want you to start playing your cello again."
"Oh! Um... of course!" Shinji stammered. "But... do you really want to hear my awful attempts?"
'He has no confidence in his ability,' Asuka thought to herself, remembering the interrogation the music shop owner had given her. She had said as much to the man, who had dropped the smile from his face for a few seconds, before stating that he hoped the new bow would aid in boosting his confidence.
"I don't really care how bad it sounds," she said out loud, knowing full well how good Shinji really was. "I just don't want to see my gift go to waste."
"I won't waste it. T-thank you Asuka." Shinji's smile widened.
Forget the look before. This was the image Asuka would remember forever. A truly grateful Third Child smiling at her while holding her birthday present to him. To her slight disappointment, he tucked the bow away in its box and put it carefully aside. Part of her had been expecting Shinji to have a go on the cello right away.
"Y-you're welcome," Asuka replied as red crept into her cheeks. She coughed to try and cover up her verbal stumble. "Well... who was next? Oh yes."
"Yeah! My turn!" Sakura exclaimed. But then the girl's face fell. "Um... Rei?" She turned to the First Child. "Do you still have my present?"
"Excuse me?" Rei began, before remembering what Sakura had given her not that long ago. "Oh, of course! I left it in my room. Would you like to come with me to fetch it?"
As they left, Asuka glanced at Toji, who shrugged and said, "She's my sister. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't go easy on her?"
The redhead smirked, but silently conceded the point as Rei and Sakura returned. The young girl was fidgeting with the wrapping paper as she entered the kitchen, but eventually she strode up to Shinji and held the present out to him.
Asuka winced slightly as Shinji unfolded the vivid purple and green sports shirt emblazoned with a white '01' on the back, knowing how little Shinji enjoyed reminders of his status as Third Child. To his credit, he managed to keep any negative reaction off his face and instead smiled down at the hopeful face of Sakura.
"It's lovely, thank you," Shinji said, to which Asuka raised an eyebrow. It truly sounded like he meant it.
After stepping into the bedroom to change into the shirt, Shinji came out a few moments later, twisting his body around to ensure it was a good fit. "How does it look?" he inquired.
"A damn sight better than the school uniform you always wore," Asuka replied. Admittedly, the Third Child had gratefully acknowledged the work she had put into giving him an expanded clothing selection, and the hated -by her at least- school uniform almost never showed its face these days. Still, something about the shirt he now wore seemed to suit him, despite the choice of colours.
As Shinji returned to the table in preparation for the next gift, Asuka's gaze swept over Toji, who cringed and rubbed the back of his head as the redhead grinned like a shark. "I still can't believe you, Stooge. I understand that you lost to your sister, but to Pen-Pen?!"
"He had to be cheating!" Toji cried out. "There's no damn way I was beaten by a freakin' tuxedo-wearin' dodo!"
"WARK!"
The sound of an incandescent avian froze the jock in his seat.
"Ohoho!" Misato crowed. Her face took on the sharklike expression that Asuka's had suddenly lost. "You messed up, kid. That was not a nice word you used in front of Pen-Pen!"
Toji's head swivelled mechanically around to the end of the table where Pen-Pen sat. The penguin was quivering in rage and the unopened can in one clawed flipper was starting to deform slightly in his grip.
And then he threw the can directly at the hapless teen's face.
Asuka had to physically restrain a screaming Pen-Pen while Hikari sighed and pulled Toji away to the lounge room, after stopping at the freezer to put some ice on his forehead. Kensuke had to stuff a fist in his mouth to stop from laughing out loud.
Pen-Pen thankfully calmed down as soon as the speciest boy was out of his sight. He huffed and gently shook off Asuka's grip before jumping down to the floor, heading over to his personal fridge. He opened it and stared inside for a moment, before coming back to the table and nudging the redhead in the leg while pointing to the open freezer door.
With a look of confusion on her face, Asuka walked over to the penguin's 'room' and looked inside. "Mein Gott!" she exclaimed upon seeing what the present was, and looked back at Pen-Pen. "You're giving him this?! It's huge!"
"Wark," said Pen-Pen.
Misato helpfully translated. "He says he's been saving it for a special occasion, and that this seemed as good a one as any."
"...You got all that from just one 'wark'?"
The woman shrugged. "Pen-Pen's lived with me for a long time. I learned his language."
A disbelieving look crossed Asuka's face, but she chose not to question the logic. Instead, she reached inside and carefully pulled out the gift. "If it wasn't for the fact that I've seen you read the paper and play video games," she muttered. "I'd be wondering just how the hell you got your hands on this."
Rei cocked her head to one side as the large frozen fish came into view. It was almost the length of her arm. "That is Pacific Bluefin Tuna. Are those not critically endangered?"
"Wark," Pen-Pen smugly replied, which Misato translated as, "I have my ways."
Shinji goggled at the fish. "Wow, that's... quite big. I could do quite a lot with this."
"Wark?"
It was easy for Shinji to decipher what the avian said. He looked at Pen-Pen and said, "Of course you'll get to have some. You're part of this family too. But... for now I think you should keep it in your freezer. I don't think there's room in ours."
"Wark!" Pen-Pen clapped his flippers together. He was looking forward to seeing what the chef of the house could do.
At last it was Toji's turn, and he cautiously sat back down at the table as far away from Pen-Pen as possible. His present turned out to be a set of exercise clothes and several home workout videos. The reveal of the present allowed Kensuke to finally begin to enthusiastically explain Shinji's new watch.
It surprised nobody when the spectacled boy went into excessive detail on the multiple exercise features, such as a pedometer, heart rate monitor, and other things that began to make Shinji's head spin. Asuka eventually had to stop Kensuke as he got a little too excited.
Since Rei had already explained that her gift was coming the next day, the final gift was going to come from Misato, until she sadly said, "I'm sorry, Shinji. I had a specific gift in mind for you, but I've had no luck finding it yet."
"There's no need to worry," Shinji replied. "You've already given me a wonderful gift."
"Bwuh?" Misato tilted her head in confusion. "When?"
The boy smiled gently. "When you offered to become my mother."
A very undignified sound emanated from Hikari's mouth as Shinji got up and hugged a suddenly teary-eyed Misato.
**
When the presents and paper were cleared away, Asuka declared that it was time for a few games. First, it was an eating competition, with the catch being that the food -a doughnut- was dangling above their heads and they couldn't use their hands. Misato and Toji both lost, as in their haste to win, their doughnuts slipped out of the string and landed on the ground.
Next, she brought everybody into the lounge room, where a game of Twenty Questions was started. The game was unfortunately rather biased against Rei, as she knew far less about popular culture than everybody else, but she still had fun.
A few other party games were played, until it was time for dinner. Asuka almost forced Shinji to sit down again, as the boy was intending to cook something, while Misato ordered take-out for the first time in a long time.
After dinner, everybody was too full for more party games, so the Super Famicom was turned on again. This time, however, the teenagers decided to play non-competitive games. Misato and Sakura chose to simply relax on the couch with an arm around each other and watch ninja androids beat up evil gang members.
"Hey Misato, you should get some nunchaku for the Evas," Kensuke suggested. "That'd be pretty badass."
The woman snorted. "Sorry, kid. We're supposed to kill the Revenants, not bonk them on the head."
"Aw. Shame the Evas aren't true robots, I wanna see one do that helicopter thing with the blade arms."
**
Eventually, it became time for the guests to head home.
"Hope you had a good, uh... late birthday, Shin-man," Toji said at the door, a sleepy Sakura riding on his back. "Shame about the attack wasting all that time though."
Shinji's smile turned brittle for a moment upon remembering the battle, but he still said, "You guys were here. That's all I need for a good day."
Toji grinned and waved goodbye as he left.
When the door closed behind the jock, Misato sighed and turned to Shinji. "I suppose we should finally tell you what's been happening with the Revenants..."
What followed was a grim hour-long conversation as Asuka, Rei and Misato filled the boy in on the Revenants, as well as the reason why they were returning.
"So... this is all just some sort of test?" Shinji asked.
"Pretty much," Misato replied. "But with no Lilith anymore, I'm unsure of what would happen if we... if humanity lost." At his uncertain expression, she added, "Hey, don't look so down. We've beaten three of them already. Oh, and since I know you're going to talk about us 'needing' you, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Asuka and Rei. Nobody is going toforce you into this, or bribe, blackmail, guilt trip you, whatever. If you pilot again, it will be because it was solely your choice."
"My choice..." Shinji murmured.
Misato put a hand on his shoulder. "You go have some time to think about it. If you decide to pilot again, I promise we'll do everything possible to get Unit-01 working again. Today wasn't exactly good for you anyway. Maybe another attempt when there's no pressure will improve matters."
"Hey." Asuka grabbed the boy's other shoulder. "Put off thinking about it for now. Just enjoy the last hours of your birthday party." She glanced at Misato. "We're gonna play one more game, okay?"
"Sure." The woman waved them off. "I'll clean up before I turn in. You've worked enough today, Asuka. Just don't stay up too late."
"Cool, thanks."
"I cannot join you," Rei said. "Tomorrow is Monday, and I do not wish to be tired at school." She bade the others goodnight and went to bed.
Asuka and Shinji went into the lounge room, and as Misato tidied up, she focused on their voices as they played.
"So what's the story in this game, anyway?"
"Bad guys kidnapped the skinny guy's girlfriend. He's off to rescue her, and the big guy's his cop friend. Which one do you wanna be?"
"Um, I'll take the thin one."
"Sweet, I get to be big and red!"
Misato grinned. The game sounded familiar to her. She did have quite a few games from when she was a much younger girl, and she hadn't had the heart to get rid of the game console.
"Whoah, that's neat. How do I do that?"
"Like this."
She was glad she didn't. Now somebody else was getting some well-deserved use out of it.
"Why were we beating people up on a bus?! ... And now we're at a stadium, fighting... a genie?"
"It's a video game, dummy... Hey! Don't steal my stolen sword!"
If the Revenant attack could be ignored, the day had brought a sense of normalcy to her, making it seem like they were just a regular family. It honestly didn't matter to Misato that the three teenagers in her home weren't actually related to her. She loved them as much as if she had given birth to them. Blood wasn't the only thing that made a family, after all.
Misato went straight to bed after cleaning up, pausing briefly to wish her kids goodnight, and fell asleep with-
"Hell yeah, Angry Mode! Eat this, Arschloch!"
And fell asleep with a smile on her face.
