You Are (Not) at Fault

Should this story start on Shinji's chapter (chapter 2) or Asuka's chapter (chapter 3)?

  • Shinji

    Votes: 23 44.2%
  • Asuka

    Votes: 19 36.5%
  • Either

    Votes: 10 19.2%

  • Total voters
    52
  • Poll closed .
Chapter 23.3
Chapter 23.3

Asuka was looking forward to taking a fast shower to wash the LCL out of her hair before heading home, but Misato's appearance at the bottom of the steps leading from the walkway to the catwalk told her right away that things weren't going to be that simple. The woman looked incredibly worried about something as she handed Asuka a towel, with which she began to quickly wipe the orange gunk off, paying more attention to her long hair. With the length of her hair, Asuka always felt like her head was far heavier than it should be for a few minutes after exiting the entry plug.

Cutting it was entirely out of the question. Asuka was proud of her hair, and an inconvenience was not enough to change her opinion.

When she no longer felt like somebody had tied weights to her hair, Asuka said, "Can we at least put off looking into the friendly fire incident until tomorrow? I really want to head back to the apartment and get our friends back for the party." As the First Child walked up to them from her own Evangelion, Asuka waved a hand at Rei as she tried to get out the first words of another apology. "Besides, Rei's already apologised, her punishment has been delivered, let's just go, okay?"

It had been a good guess as to the reason for Misato's mood, but unfortunately it was wrong.

Misato cracked a small smile, but there was no humour in it. "You'd probably find it a bit hard to have a party without the guest of honour."

She now had the full attention of both girls. Asuka cautiously asked, "Did something happen to Shinji while we were fighting?" Next to the redhead, Rei paled slightly.

After a moment of thought, Misato waved a hand back and forth in a 'kind of' gesture and said, "It's... more like something didn't happen." At the confused looks of the two pilots, she sighed. "Just come with me, and I'll show you."

Asuka was half-expecting Misato to lead them all the way to the medical bay, so stopping only a short distance away in front of Unit-01 brought confusion to her features. That, and the unusually large amount of people bustling about in the Evangelion Cage, Ritsuko included, running diagnostics. Normally, Unit-01's cage was almost completely empty. Asuka looked up towards the neck of the Evangelion, where an entry plug was positioned to be inserted. There hadn't been a need for one since Ritsuko had suggested placing a semi-comatose Shinji in the plug for her scans.

Asuka frowned as some of the answer to the problem presented itself. "Shinji tried to join us, didn't he?" she asked. A jolt of fear shot through her at the possibility that Shinji had been absorbed again. But the mood in the cage didn't reflect such a dire scenario, and neither did Misato's reaction. She settled down slightly, but mentally kicked herself for what she felt was her fault in the recent fight. If she had been on the ball...

"Unit-01 refused to activate," Rei added, correctly guessing what had happened. Her expression had turned fearful for a split second but now it was merely grim, possibly thinking along the same lines as her fellow pilot.

"Yeah," Misato replied, ice creeping into her voice as she stared up at the face of Unit-01. "No activation, no synchronisation. It was as if Unit-01 just decided to... ignore us, like a petulant child."

Not so long ago, Asuka would have made a quip about the purple Evangelion having the same attitude as its pilot. An image rose unbidden in her mind of Unit-01 putting on giant headphones and sulking in bed. If the mood in the cage was brighter, she might have been willing to pass along such a ludicrous idea. "So where's Shinji now?" she asked out loud.

In response, Misato nodded her head in the direction of the entry plug. "He didn't come out when we ejected the plug. We know he's not hurt or anything, but-" She had to stop talking as Asuka stepped onto the gantry leading up to the entry plug. A couple of technicians looked curiously at the redhead, before moving out of her way. They knew better than to impede the Second Child's progress, especially with that look on her face. The Commander standing nearby only slightly factored into the mens' sense of self-preservation.

The dark entrance to the plug seemed to loom ahead of Asuka, and as she noticed her feet were slowing down she shook herself hard, causing her still-damp hair to fly about her face with a few strands sticking to her face. There was nothing to be concerned about. The people in the cage weren't acting like there was an emergency, more like something out of the ordinary had just occurred.

But as she thought more about the situation, Asuka hit upon an obvious realisation while ducking her head and finally setting foot inside the entry plug. 'He's going to blame himself for this.'

The scene inside the metal tube tore at her heart. Shinji was still sitting in the pilot's chair with a despondent look on his face, as his right hand occasionally tugged feebly on the controls and the left remained cradled in his lap.

Asuka moved up into the boy's peripheral vision and waited for a few seconds. When there was no response beyond a slight flicker of his eyes, she raised a hand and tapped hard on the metal wall of the entry plug, loudly adding, "Hey, Third!"

The echoing combination of both a loud, familiar voice and the tapping were enough to bring Shinji out of his daze with a start. He locked eyes with Asuka, who gave him a smirk, before relinquishing his grip on the controls and sinking back into his chair. "Oh, hello," he mumbled with a sigh.

"I'm not going to bother asking how you're doing," Asuka replied. "It's pretty obvious just by looking at you."

Another sigh came from Shinji's mouth. "I failed you again, Asuka."

"Wait, again? What do you mean?" The redhead folded her arms. "I don't recall you failing... me... before..." She trailed off. Shinji flinched away from her as her blue eyes shot wide open. "You're... you're talking about just before Third Impact... aren't you?" she asked, an accusatory tone beginning to leak into her voice.

He didn't answer, but he didn't need to. It was written all over Shinji's face, even as he tried to turn away from Asuka. She grabbed him by a shoulder, and used her other hand to turn his face back to look at her. "Shinji..." She paused for a moment to phrase the question in a way that hopefully wouldn't cause him to close up. "What happened to you that day?"

Most of the story was already known to her. Shinji had been mentally crushed, almost hoping for somebody to kill him during the invasion. But Misato had managed to get him into the elevator that took him to Unit-01... and then an unexplained gap between that and Unit-01 flying into the sky on wings of light while she bled out after being torn apart.

Since the nightmares that detailed Asuka's death had diminished, thanks largely in part to an unknowing Shinji, she had been plagued much less by what caused them. Now, though, she felt like she wouldn't be able to sleep until the truth was revealed.

It was time for that gap to be filled.

Perhaps understanding that neither of them would be going anywhere until Asuka got her answer, Shinji began to haltingly speak of what had happened on the eve of Third Impact. The redhead listened with half an ear and a frown. Something still seemed to be missing, as he had started a short time before the JSSDF and Misato found him underneath the stairs, already in a despairing state.

'Rei said there were four things that sent him over the edge. I know three... Was whatever he skipped past the final thing?'

Asuka's ears perked up as Shinji's story reached the point where he and Misato reached the elevator. She made a face when he mentioned the kiss and promise that the then-Major had given him, but it softened as he mused that both he and Misato knew the promise was hollow. They had both known she was about to die. The woman was simply out of ideas for how to motivate the emotionally destroyed young man.

As tears began flowing freely down Shinji's face, the Second Child's face turned unreadable as the story went on, through his realisation that Misato had just died because of him, and onto the terrible sight of Unit-01 covered from head to toe in Bakelite. Her iron grip on his body relaxed somewhat, as the apparent reason for his absence became clear.

But then Unit-01 easily broke free.

"Bakelite was no match for it. I could have made it break out at any time," Shinji slowly said. "But instead all I did was sit there. I gave up right at the end, when I could have reached you in time." He looked up at Asuka and sniffled. "You died, all because I was feeling like shit. How pathetic is that?"

Her hands pulled away, letting Shinji slump against his chair. As he began to mumble apologies, Asuka folded her arms and slowly stepped around the boy as she tried to think.

How was she supposed to react to this information? Should she condemn him for his inaction, punish him for giving up and letting her die in a most brutal fashion? Or should she let it go, and acknowledge that a suicidally depressed boy who had simply let an enemy soldier almost execute him was in no fit state to do anything, let alone pilot a giant robot against nine enemy Evangelions.

"So... That's what happened..." came a familiar female voice from just outside the entry plug, causing Asuka to jump and almost yelp in shock.

"Damnit, Misato!" she angrily hissed, poking her head out of the hatch. "This was a private conversation!"

"As both your foster mother and superior officer, I believe I have at least some authority to listen in." Misato's voice dropped, barely carrying to Asuka's ears. "And now I know why Shinji couldn't help you."

The redhead snorted. "Couldn't, or wouldn't?" she sarcastically asked, stepping out and leaning against the railing of the gantry next to the older woman.

"It's what you're asking yourself right now, isn't it?"

Asuka growled as Misato hit the nail on the head, and continued hammering; "Look, if a shrink were here, they'd be telling us that somebody in his mental state would barely be allowed out of sight, possibly locked in a room with no sharp objects."

Misato tapped the side of her head as she continued. "With a clear mind, something probably nobody had that day, there would have been no problems, and we could have beaten SEELE back." She grinned mirthlessly. "But despite how many times he got back up, my boy kept getting knocked down until he couldn't get up any more. Ask yourself this, Asuka, and be honest: Would you have done the same in Shinji's situation?"

There was a long period of silence before Asuka dully replied, "...I don't know."

"Of course you don't. I don't either," Misato admitted with a shrug. "We're not the exact same person. We all act differently. You already know how suspiciously similar the lives of you and Shinji were. He did things that you didn't, and vice versa. Just imagine what things would be like if your lives were swapped around."

Asuka thought for a moment, and then had to stifle a snort of amusement as she imagined Shinji doing some of the things she had done, such as The Great Shinji Ikari, the college-educated hotshot pilot of Unit-02, meeting The Invincible Asuka Langley-Soryu on the deck of Over the Rainbow and giving the same speech she had done. It didn't help that her mind's eye stubbornly refused to see him in anything but the same hat and yellow sundress she had worn as well.

"Oh Gott," she finally snickered. At the woman's raised eyebrow, she mentioned what she had just thought of.

Misato grinned hugely at the mental image, happy that the mood had been lifted. "So how do you feel about him now?" she asked. As Asuka began to turn red-faced, she pretended not to notice and added, "What do you think he deserves? Your anger, or your help?"

It didn't take the Second Child long to answer this time. "My help."

"Good." Misato jerked a thumb at the entry plug hatch. "Now get in there and help him out. We have cake to eat." With her piece said, she walked back down to the catwalk and out of the cage. Rei looked up at Asuka for a moment before following Misato.

Asuka watched them leave, and stepped back into the entry plug. To her surprise, Shinji was sitting upright, looking much more alert than when she had walked away from him. He turned in his seat to face her, and... was that a smile on his slightly red face? She cautiously approached, unsure of what to make of this attitude shift.

Oh, wait. They were in a mostly hollow metal tube. Shinji had likely heard almost everything she and Misato had said about him. Perhaps they should have moved further away... but then he wouldn't be sitting here smiling at her after remembering such a hopeless moment of his life.

"Well, you certainly seem to have cheered up," Asuka remarked.

Shinji scratched the back of his head nervously. "It... um... it was kind of hard not to smile, when I thought about you wearing the same school uniform all the time like I did."

"Oh?" Asuka raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "You'd like to see me in that ridiculous getup more often, would you? Got a thing for schoolgirls?"

"Eh... no!" Shinji stammered, his face going through several shades of red and pink. "I-I meant it was funny to imagine you in the boy's outfit!"

"Hah. Like you'd ever get me to wear that thing. You boys have to spend all day looking like you got called away from the cubicle farm. At least us girls get to look like sailors. Still," Asuka threw her hands up in the air as best as she could in the enclosed space, "Whoever designed Japanese girl uniforms has the be the most perverted person in the entire world!" She would have continued ranting, but Asuka remembered what was still to come that day. "Well, whatever. Let's get out of here, Third."

Without thinking, she took him by the left hand. She reflexively let go when Shinji let out an involuntary hiss of pain. He tried to deny that anything was wrong, but it was easy to tell that he was lying. Much gentler this time, Asuka took him by the upper arm and pulled him out of the entry plug.

When they were out of the Evangelion cages, Asuka sat him down on a bench near Misato and Rei, slapping the button on his plugsuit to deactivate it. She ordered him to keep his right hand on the suit so that it didn't fall off of him, and present his left hand for inspection. Both Asuka and Misato uttered a curse when Shinji revealed a hand that was almost completely stained red up to the wrist. As the redhead began to question him on how he injured himself, Misato cut her off.

"That doesn't matter right now. Let's just take him to medical and get that hand checked before it gets infected."

**

After the blood was washed away, the damage to Shinji's hand was less than it appeared, but still rather surprising to the two female pilots. There were four slightly curved cuts in the palm of his hand, perfectly spaced for his fingernails to have been the cause. The doctor ordered Shinji to both cut his nails, and consider buying a stress ball. Asuka promised to get several, so she could leave them all over the house for him.

Once his hand was bandaged in waterproof wraps, Shinji was finally allowed time to shower and get changed back into his normal clothes. The moment he stepped out of the change room, Asuka took him by the right hand this time and dragged him all the way through NERV to Misato's car. Along the way, she phoned Hikari and told her to get the others ready.

It was finally time to resume the party.

And this time, nothing was going to stand in the way.
 
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Yay!
Cutting it was entirely out of the question. Asuka was proud of her hair, and an inconvenience was not enough to change her opinion.
Yang Xiao Long, eat your heart out.
She now had the full attention of both girls. Asuka cautiously asked, "Did something happen to Shinji while we were fighting?" Next to the redhead, Rei paled slightly.

After a moment of thought, Misato waved a hand back and forth in a 'kind of' gesture and said, "It's... more like something didn't happen." At the confused looks of the two pilots, she sighed. "Just come with me, and I'll show you."
So Shinji made it to the Eva, but...
"Unit-01 refused to activate," Rei added, correctly guessing what had happened. Her expression had turned fearful for a split second but now it was merely grim, possibly thinking along the same lines as her fellow pilot.

"Yeah," Misato replied, ice creeping into her voice as she stared up at the face of Unit-01. "No activation, no synchronisation. It was as if Unit-01 just decided to... ignore us, like a petulant child."
So either Yui snubbed Shinji... or Yui isn't in Unit-01 to respond.
But as she thought more about the situation, Asuka hit upon an obvious realisation while ducking her head and finally setting foot inside the entry plug. 'He's going to blame himself for this.'

The scene inside the metal tube tore at her heart. Shinji was still sitting in the pilot's chair with a despondent look on his face, as his right hand occasionally tugged feebly on the controls and the left remained cradled in his lap.
No kidding Asuka.
He didn't answer, but he didn't need to. It was written all over Shinji's face, even as he tried to turn away from Asuka. She grabbed him by a shoulder, and used her other hand to turn his face back to look at her. "Shinji..." She paused for a moment to phrase the question in a way that hopefully wouldn't cause him to close up. "What happened to you that day?"

Most of the story was already known to her. Shinji had been mentally crushed, almost hoping for somebody to kill him during the invasion. But Misato had managed to get him into the elevator that took him to Unit-01... and then an unexplained gap between that and Unit-01 flying into the sky on wings of light while she bled out after being torn apart.
Ah. That.
"Bakelite was no match for it. I could have made it break out at any time," Shinji slowly said. "But instead all I did was sit there. I gave up right at the end, when I could have reached you in time." He looked up at Asuka and sniffled. "You died, all because I was feeling like shit. How pathetic is that?"

Her hands pulled away, letting Shinji slump against his chair. As he began to mumble apologies, Asuka folded her arms and slowly stepped around the boy as she tried to think.

How was she supposed to react to this information?
Supportive. Always supportive.
"Of course you don't. I don't either," Misato admitted with a shrug. "We're not the exact same person. We all act differently. You already know how suspiciously similar the lives of you and Shinji were. He did things that you didn't, and vice versa. Just imagine what things would be like if your lives were swapped around."
I'm sure dozens of aspiring fanfic authors have. Some might have even put text to documents and released them to the internet.:p
Asuka thought for a moment, and then had to stifle a snort of amusement as she imagined Shinji doing some of the things she had done, such as The Great Shinji Ikari, the college-educated hotshot pilot of Unit-02, meeting The Invincible Asuka Langley-Soryu on the deck of Over the Rainbow and giving the same speech she had done. It didn't help that her mind's eye stubbornly refused to see him in anything but the same hat and yellow sundress she had worn as well.
:lol:rofl: No offense to Shinji, but the mental image of him having Asuka's swagger and machismo attitude just sounds ridiculous... and then he's a crossdresser? That's pure crack-fic material right there.
Oh wait, they were in a mostly hollow metal tube. Shinji had likely heard almost everything she and Misato had said about him. Perhaps they should have moved further away... but then he wouldn't be sitting here smiling at her after remembering such a hopeless moment of his life.

"Well, you certainly seem to have cheered up," Asuka remarked.

Shinji scratched the back of his head nervously. "It... um... it was kind of hard not to smile, when I thought about you wearing the same school uniform all the time like I did."
One doesn't have to wonder why.
"Oh?" Asuka raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "You'd like to see me in that ridiculous getup more often, would you? Got a thing for schoolgirls?"

"Eh... no!" Shinji stammered
Yes, yes you do.
When they were out of the Evangelion cages, Asuka sat him down on a bench near Misato and Rei, slapping the button on his plugsuit to deactivate it. She ordered him to keep his right hand on the suit so that it didn't fall off of him, and present his left hand for inspection. Both Asuka and Misato uttered a curse when Shinji revealed a hand that was almost completely stained red up to the wrist. As the redhead began to question him on how he injured himself, Misato cut her off.

"That doesn't matter right now. Let's just take him to medical and get that hand checked before it gets infected."
Good thinking Misato.
The doctor ordered Shinji to both cut his nails, and consider buying a stress ball. Asuka promised to get several, so she could leave them all over the house for him.
Heh. I know that sentiment.
It was finally time to resume the party.

And this time, nothing was going to stand in the way.
Woohoo! Yo Videogames! Time to bring a depressed kid some joy!
 
Asuka, if you don't give Shinji a bloody hug before the end of the day, I will be so disappointed in you.
"Eh... no!" Shinji stammered, his face going through several shades of red and pink. "I-I meant it was funny to imagine you in the boy's outfit!"

"Hah. Like you'd ever get me to wear that thing. You boys have to spend all day looking like you got called away from the cubicle farm.
Oh come on, Asuka, you look pretty good in it. I bet Shinji will agree, too. :)
 
There's something about simple clothes and a slightly older Asuka with her hair down that I really like.
One thing to remember is that in this fic, Asuka doesn't wear her clips nearly as much, so her hair is down pretty much all the time.

EDIT: Whoops, took me a while to notice that some of my post got eaten.

Oh come on, Asuka, you look pretty good in it. I bet Shinji will agree, too. :)
This has inspired me. I'm now considering having something like this happen later in the story. By the way, is that black undershirt actually part of the uniform too?
 
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Shinji wears a Blue Undershirt and actually seems to vary from person to person. For example Kaworu wears an Orange one (ironically the color inverse of Blue lol), Kensuke Aida wears red under his, Toji Suzuhara (yes we see him wear the uniform in Episode 9) wears purple

Example:






 
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Shinji wears a Blue Undershirt and actually seems to vary from person to person. For example Kaworu wears an Orange one (ironically the color inverse of Blue lol), Kensuke Aida wears red under his, Toji Suzuhara (yes we see him wear the uniform in Episode 9) wears purple
Do we even need to guess what colour Asuka would wear under hers?
 
If Asuka doesn't go for the obvious red, I reckon she'd go for purple. Kind of a subtle hint at which boy she's interested in.

Anyway, I've started on the final snippet for this chapter, but a thought has occurred and I'm interested in the opinions of others. How do you all feel about stories that use actual names for things like game consoles and the video games themselves? Along the same line (but not something that matters to this story), what are your thoughts on bands and songs getting name-dropped in stories?

Personally, I cringe a little when a story has a bit where a person in their bedroom starts listening to <insert... I dunno, some Evanescence song here>. And yet I feel perfectly fine with Eva fics that mention Asuka's love for Rammstein. Classical music is fine too, possible because of how old the genre is.

Oh yeah. I forgot to ask this when I posted the previous snippet: At the points where the story mentions a 'gangplank', I feel that's not the right word for what I'm conveying. It's a sort of staircase thing, connected to the catwalk in the Eva cages, that goes up to the entry plugs. Can anybody think of a better term?
 
Anyway, I've started on the final snippet for this chapter, but a thought has occurred and I'm interested in the opinions of others. How do you all feel about stories that use actual names for things like game consoles and the video games themselves? Along the same line (but not something that matters to this story), what are your thoughts on bands and songs getting name-dropped in stories?
Well, I guess it depends on how it's handled. I tend to be more fine with switched/slightly altered names for things like tech products. EX: That's not Iphone, that's a MyPhone. You don't watch videos on Youtube, it's Mytube. God, I suck at names. It gets the point across of both what the reader should be mentally seeing, while still illustrating 'yes, this is a different world'. I usually don't mind name-dropping too much.
In the end though, you're the author, it's your story, you're the one who makes the decisions. Whether you want to invent something entirely new, mess with the preverbal paintjob, or go with the same things we have IRL, that's your prerogative.
the final snippet for this chapter,
But I'm be fine either way, since I feel irrationally giddy at this. Makes me feel like I inspired something. :DI don't care what anyone says, I helped Shinji and Co be happy, I am on cloud nine!
She's into Galactus?
Yui: I'm not Misato, I'm not into younger partners.
Personally, I cringe a little when a story has a bit where a person in their bedroom starts listening to <insert... I dunno, some Evanescence song here>. And yet I feel perfectly fine with Eva fics that mention Asuka's love for Rammstein. Classical music is fine too, possible because of how old the genre is.
I guess it helps if it's something that meshes with established characterization then? We know Shinji cools off with Classical music in canon, and music as bombastic, sexual, and hard-hitting as Rammstein does match the Invincible Red Devil Asuka Soryu.
Oh yeah. I forgot to ask this when I posted the previous snippet: At the points where the story mentions a 'gangplank', I feel that's not the right word for what I'm conveying. It's a sort of staircase thing, connected to the catwalk in the Eva cages, that goes up to the entry plugs. Can anybody think of a better term?
google said:
gang·way
noun

ˈɡaNGˌwā/
  1. a raised platform or walkway providing a passage.
This help?
 
Anyway, I've started on the final snippet for this chapter, but a thought has occurred and I'm interested in the opinions of others. How do you all feel about stories that use actual names for things like game consoles and the video games themselves? Along the same line (but not something that matters to this story), what are your thoughts on bands and songs getting name-dropped in stories?

Personally, I cringe a little when a story has a bit where a person in their bedroom starts listening to <insert... I dunno, some Evanescence song here>. And yet I feel perfectly fine with Eva fics that mention Asuka's love for Rammstein. Classical music is fine too, possible because of how old the genre is.

Personally, I believe it's a minefield topic because of how the NGE Universe works. Okay, not minefield, but very, very, tricky to handle right, mainly cause personal bias and taste can end up sneaking into the narrative. At the same time, however, EVA quite explicitly name drops game console, food, and drink brands everywhere (Sega and Nintendo being the big two. Misato was supposed to have a SNES and Hikari owns a Sega, and in ReBuild Asuka has a Wonderswan and EVEN IN THE PROPOSAL Asuka was meant to be an avid gamer at heart). As for musical taste however, we can't discount the fact Shinji's S-DAT Tape contains both Classical Music and Pop Songs on it (I believe we hear classical music from it at one point, and Track's 25 and 26 are pop songs tied to the video game "Y's").

Now, before I go on, I'll freely state this is how I PERSONALLY interpret the two, so everything beyond this point is my personal speculation and ideas on the matter. I see Asuka and Shinji actually sharing the same tastes in music, a mix of pop and classical music, each to reflect a state of mind. Classical Music is meditative and calming, while Pop music is there to make you forget... to ignore what's going on.
 
Anyway, I've started on the final snippet for this chapter, but a thought has occurred and I'm interested in the opinions of others. How do you all feel about stories that use actual names for things like game consoles and the video games themselves? Along the same line (but not something that matters to this story), what are your thoughts on bands and songs getting name-dropped in stories?

Personally, I cringe a little when a story has a bit where a person in their bedroom starts listening to <insert... I dunno, some Evanescence song here>. And yet I feel perfectly fine with Eva fics that mention Asuka's love for Rammstein. Classical music is fine too, possible because of how old the genre is.

Personally, I'd prefer if you used a description of the music rather than a name-drop. For example: "Asuka turned up her music, some German heavy metal song, and proceeded to completely ignore Shinji."

As for game consoles, in that case it should be readily apparent from context that they're video games, rather than prompting half your readers to stop reading to Google whatever band name you just dropped and find out what kind of music they play. Go ahead and name the real thing.

Oh yeah. I forgot to ask this when I posted the previous snippet: At the points where the story mentions a 'gangplank', I feel that's not the right word for what I'm conveying. It's a sort of staircase thing, connected to the catwalk in the Eva cages, that goes up to the entry plugs. Can anybody think of a better term?

Try "Catwalk."

Edit: You used the term "catwalk" in your description of the object in question, in reference to something else. I feel silly now.

Why not just call it a stairway or a ladder?
 
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Anyway, I've started on the final snippet for this chapter, but a thought has occurred and I'm interested in the opinions of others. How do you all feel about stories that use actual names for things like game consoles and the video games themselves? Along the same line (but not something that matters to this story), what are your thoughts on bands and songs getting name-dropped in stories?

I don't mind having a game or two make an appearance, especially if it's done as a kind of game in and of itself and left for the audience to guess what it is they are playing. Just don't overdo it.

As for the songs, I don't really care much for them, to be honest. They don't irk me, but I'll most of the time just read over the title and forget that it was there to begin with.

and Track's 25 and 26 are pop songs tied to the video game "Y's"

Half the reason I went with this song for one of the latest scenes in my story, actually. Other than the track being fairly fitting, it was also meant as an obscure reference of sorts to canon.

For anyone interested, 'Ys' has some pretty amazing soundtracks. And the games are pretty darn good too, to boot.
 
Misato was supposed to have a SNES
I don't mind having a game or two make an appearance, especially if it's done as a kind of game in and of itself and left for the audience to guess what it is they are playing. Just don't overdo it.
Good, because I was planning on having that be the console that got used. But I was going to leave the games they play unnamed. No "They started playing Street Fighter', more like 'Toji challenged Asuka to a fighting game. The jock then immediately complained that Asuka stole his favourite character, and had to settle for the guy that shot fireballs.'

Personally, I'd prefer if you used a description of the music rather than a name-drop. For example: "Asuka turned up her music, some German heavy metal song, and proceeded to completely ignore Shinji."
I like the idea of a general description of the music rather than outright naming it, especially if it's from another person's POV.

"To Misato, it sounded like a pissed off German demon had snuck a heavy metal band into Asuka's room and was now playing a personal concert for the girl. On the couch next to her, Pen-Pen was 'raising the horns' and head-banging as best as a genetically modified penguin could. She took a deep swig of her beer."

For anyone interested, 'Ys' has some pretty amazing soundtracks. And the games are pretty darn good too, to boot.
And Ys I & II Chronicles is now on my GOG wishlist. Thanks for the recommendation.
 
"To Misato, it sounded like a pissed off German demon had snuck a heavy metal band into Asuka's room and was now playing a personal concert for the girl. On the couch next to her, Pen-Pen was 'raising the horns' and head-banging as best as a genetically modified penguin could. She took a deep swig of her beer."
:rofl: Pen-Pen gets it.
 
And Ys I & II Chronicles is now on my GOG wishlist. Thanks for the recommendation.

No problem, just remember that the gameplay in those particular two is kind of dated. Especially in the first one, as it's a game from... 1988, I think; The second one is still damn fun, though.

The other titles in the series (Felghana, Origin,...) have a revamped playstyle, more akin to a top-down Zelda on steroids. And it's glorious. :p
 
Okay, so I've read all the chapters you have posted. Currently making my way through the actual pages and catching up on all the forum posts.

So I was gonna tell you that you'd been misspelling "Scheisse" all this time, but apparently "Schiesse" is German for "shoot." So it could still be Asuka cursing, but I feel like it's still more believable for her to outright say "shit" in German. No idea if you knew this already and I just haven't seen it, but as far as I remember even in the latest chapters Asuka is saying "Schiesse."

EDIT: Oh. Huh. Was rereading snippets as I was moving through the pages and I could've sworn I saw "Schiesse" instead. I don't know why I'm trying to correct anyone anyway, I took two years of German almost ten years ago and it's 4:30 in the morning. Anyway, MisterHalt, love the story.
 
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So I was gonna tell you that you'd been misspelling "Scheisse" all this time, but apparently "Schiesse" is German for "shoot." So it could still be Asuka cursing, but I feel like it's still more believable for her to outright say "shit" in German. No idea if you knew this already and I just haven't seen it, but as far as I remember even in the latest chapters Asuka is saying "Schiesse."
No, she's not. I pointed out all the wrong uses past the point where I came in, and as far as I know, they have been corrected to 'Scheiße' in the master file.

Addendum: And 'Schieße' by itself is a rather unused Imperative, btw.
 
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Yeah, Ranma's quick to jump on me when I botch up German lines. Google Translate is utterly worthless. That bit where Rei asked Asuka to calm down? Three words, and Google Translate managed to bollocks it up. It also couldn't handle when I wanted 'Back off!'

Protip: Get a real translator.

and it's 4:30 in the morning
Your nocturnal perseverance has earned you a hidden forum tip:
GO TO BED!

I love saying that.
 
Oh, good, 5:15.

You guys know that Family Guy Manatee Gag where they explain why Tom Cruise is running in all of his movies? Instead of Tom Cruise, it's me, and instead of "gay thoughts," it's MisterHalt's avatar telling me to go to bed.
 
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