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Yet Another Stupid Death

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a new hope
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] y
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Your Possessions:
    - 1x uncursed Garter Snake corpse
    - 1x uncursed Wererat corpse
    - 1x uncursed Gladius
    - 1x uncursed Stick

    [X] y: same map
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    ---

    a spark in the dark. a torch flares.

    .____________.
    |............|
    |............|
    |......@b....|
    |W..........Bn
    |_____n______|

    b: backpack
    W: Woman
    B: Boy
    n: sealed door
    n: open door

    You are in the Room with a Sealed Door, with your torn backpack. The door is still sealed.

    The Woman holds her torch, looking at you. "Hm."

    The Boy sits by the door, looking at you hopefully.

    What do?
    [ ] Talk
    - [ ] Woman
    -- [ ] "I still need that tinderbox." (Write-in trade offer.)
    -- [ ] "DOOOOOOOG!!"
    -- [ ] "Tell me about the gods." (Write-in trade offer.)
    -- [ ] "So, about that quest..."
    -- [ ] (Write-in.)
    - [ ] Boy
    -- [ ] "DOOOOOOOG!"
    -- [ ] "Do you have any quests for me?"
    -- [ ] "Wanna go on an adventure?"
    -- [ ] "Long time no see!"
    -- [ ] (Write-in.)
    [ ] Use item (select item)
    [ ] Fight
    - [ ] Woman
    - [ ] Boy
    [ ] Leave
    pantherasapiens threw 1 100-faced dice. Reason: Sneak Attack Total: 31
    31 31
     
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] Plan: Nice Boat

    [X] Equip the stick.
    - [X] Hit the woman on the head with a stick until unconscious (sneak attack, non-lethal damage).
    --[X] "BOAT RIDE TIME!"
    ---[X] Pick up tinderbox and woman's torch. Don't forget to lit yours.
    ----[X] Give the boy wererat corpse as a parting gift. Tell him it's yummy if you roast it properly.
    -----[X] Grab the woman's body, venture in the direction of the pier. Call for Doog all the while.

    Edit:
    Nevill said:
    By the way, why is the oar not in our inventory? Next iteration, I am going to whack her on the head, drag her to a boat, and give her rides until she spills out all the hints and draws us a map of the place! :mad:
    Click to expand...
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    You thought I was joking, didn't you? Tsk-tsk.

    We are leaving the map anyway.
     
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    [x] eat uncursed Wererat corpse
    [x] eat uncursed Garter Snake corpse
    [x] Talk
    - [x] Boy
    -- [x] "Do you have any quests for me?"
    -- [x] "Wanna go on an adventure?"
     
    [X] Put the Wererat corpse on the stick.
    [X] Talk
    -[X] Woman
    --[X] "I still need that tinderbox." (Write-in trade offer.)
    ---[X] Wererat onna stick
     
    I'll vote for Nevill's plan for now, though I'm reluctant to leave the boy behind. Could be a good meatshield.

    [X] Nevill
     
    a death by Woman
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] Equip the stick.
    - [X] Hit the woman on the head with a stick until unconscious (sneak attack, non-lethal damage).
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    You retrieve the Uncursed Stick from the torn backpack. It feels the same as ever.

    So you take it and approach the Woman.

    "A trade offer?" she says, an eyebrow raised.

    You pretend to consider it until you're right beside her.

    "Nope!" you say at the last moment and swing the Uncursed Stick at her head. Not too hard, because you don't want to kill her, but hard enough to (hopefully) knock her out.

    "Thought not," she says, and jabs her Lit Torch in your eyes. It sizzles.

    you have lost 8 HP
    you are blinded

    You scream in pain and agony.

    You swing the stick blindly out, and only succeed in bashing your knuckles on the wall.

    you have lost 1 HP

    There is the sound of the tinderbox striking, and you lash in that direction, whiffing completely. In the next moment there is a burning sensation in your pants.

    you have lost 9 HP
    you are on fire

    You drop the Uncursed Stick and fall down, rolling about as you try to beat the flames out. This gives the Woman ample leisure to repeatedly mash her Lit Torch into your exposed skin and re-light it whenever it goes out.

    Some interminable time later,
    you have been killed by a Woman

    do you want your possessions identified
    [ ] y
    [ ] n

    do you want to try again
    [ ] y: new map
    [ ] y: same map
    [ ] n


    ===

    ---an author's raised eyebrow---​

    Bet you saw that coming!
     
  • Threadmarks
    • a new hope, a new goal
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] y
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Your Possessions:
    - 1x uncursed Garter Snake corpse
    - 1x uncursed Wererat corpse
    - 1x uncursed Gladius
    [X] y: same map
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    the safe room, now blood-stained, the protection broken

    .____________.
    |????????????|
    |?????...????|
    |?????.@b????|
    |?????...????n
    |_____n______|

    b: backpack
    n: sealed door
    n: open door
    ?: ???

    You stir to wakefulness in the Room with a Sealed Door. There is a lingering smell of burnt flesh in the air.
    Goals Updated: The Tainted Room said:
    Purify the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door.

    Reward: Safe resurrection
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    What do?
    [ ] Explore the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door.
    [ ] Attack the ? with Gladius.
    [ ] Pray to...
    - [ ] (Write-in.)
    [ ] Run away screaming.
    [ ] Leave.
    pantherasapiens threw 1 100-faced dice. Reason: Prayer Total: 20
    20 20
    pantherasapiens threw 1 16-faced dice. Reason: ??? Total: 11
    11 11
     
  • Threadmarks
    • pantherasapiens said:
    Attacking the non-monstrous, helpful NPCs tends to... not be a great idea, in most games, really. >_>;;;
    Click to expand...
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    Roguelikes mostly make their important NPCs quite powerful-slash-unrewarding, in my expectations at least. It's still a bad idea in most circumstance, but you get the chance to show off in a good run. For example: The Vindale ambassadors in Elona, the Shopkeeper in Necrodancer (and Splunky, and NetHack, and...), various merchant ships in FTL...

    :V Besides, we didn't attack a helpful NPC. RIP Doog :(.
     
    pantherasapiens said:
    Attacking the non-monstrous, helpful NPCs tends to... not be a great idea, in most games, really.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Now, that part I take an issue with. And given her torch-fu I am willing to question the non-monstrous part, too! :mad::p

    It's a roguelike, you do dumb shit just to experiment and see where it takes you. I don't really know what we could do with no food, 20 hitpoints, and a lot of monsters skulking around in dark corners. We could try to gather herbs and hope there is some healing there, but tasting them wiithout IDing first also looks like YASD material.

    But you are right, that was a bad idea to attack the Woman. Sooo, taking on the Boy next? He looks more manageable!

    kelllogo said:
    various merchant ships in FTL...
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Killed every single one. They were perfectly rewarding, too.

    [x] Explore the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door.
    [x] Pick up the backpack. Examine it.
    [x] Pray to...
    - [x] DOOOOOOG

    The plan remains to search for Doog and then leave the map for greener pastures unless we can think of a way to progress.
     
    Last edited:
    [x] Explore the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door.
    [x] Pick up the backpack. Examine it.
    [x] Pray to...
    - [x] DOOOOOOG

    Seems sound
     
    a sudden change of scenery
  • Threadmarks
    • [x] Explore the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    You hold the Gladius and cautiously head to the wall, hoping to find the Unlit Torch that the Woman keeps on lighting. At the same time, you make sure to stay facing the ??? as you do. It doesn't seem to move, and you arrive at the wall without incident. You begin slowly travelling the circumference of the room, using the Gladius to prod the walls as you go. Nothing seems to happen, up to the point the tip of the blade contacts the Sealed Door.

    There is a deafening bang, under which is a strange noise best described as vworp.

    you have lost 20 HP

    The stone under your feet and the door at the tip of your Gladius vanish, leaving you ankle-deep in mud and tall grass.
    [x] Pick up the backpack. Examine it.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    You realise you left the backpack on the ground in your haste to explore the room. You'll have to find your way back to it...
    Goals Updated: Left-Behind Backpack said:
    The backpack is in the Tainted Room with a Sealed Door, and needs to be retrieved.

    Reward:
    - 1x torn backpack
    - 1x uncursed Garter Snake corpse
    - 1x uncursed Wererat corpse
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    [x] Pray to...
    - [x] DOOOOOOG
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    You sink to your knees in the mud and cry out, "DOOOOOOOG!"

    Nothing seems to happen. It appears that Doog, however wonderful, is/ was not in fact divine.

    ?????
    ?...?
    ?.@.?
    ?...?
    ?????

    What do?
    [ ] Write-in.

    ===

    ---a note about Sealed Doors---​

    They may be sealed in more ways than one.
    pantherasapiens threw 2 100-faced dice. Reason: Prayer Total: 135
    47 47 88 88
     
  • Threadmarks
    • pantherasapiens said:
    The stone under your feet and the door at the tip of your Gladius vanish, leaving you ankle-deep in mud and tall grass.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Wait, is the door no longer there or what?

    pantherasapiens said:
    At the same time, you make sure to stay facing the ??? as you do. It doesn't seem to move, and you arrive at the wall without incident.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    [ ] Go and feel up the ???
    -[ ] Is it your body?
    [ ] Go to the pier and search for Doog.
    -[ ] Dodge combat along the way.
    --[ ] Throw food at monsters to distract them.

    Let's get this done.
     
    Last edited:
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