XCOM EW: Where There's a Rocket, There's a Way!

[Private Lee O'Malley]

Why is always the 2nd shot that misses? I thought it was First the Worst, Second the Best? ??? Have I been lied to?

*twitch*

Goddamn it me, I overestimated Squadsight and kinda forgot that I needed Archangel armor to have a totally unrestricted view of the battlefield. Oh well, she can still overwatch with the pistol at least. (A strange glitch: Overwatching with a Squadsight sniper can cause her to hit at that range, even thoughusing the standard fire command doesn't work.)

"So JarringToaster, what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything else?"

"murder"

Taking extra care so as not to the harm the UFO, Rocket Surgery Simulator 2K15.

Magnifique

...you're doing this just to spite me, aren't you? (Maybe it's a callback to my previous statement about how I got stuck in an overwatch duel to the point the UFO might as well have exploded?) the rocket was no where near you.

Alas, poor Redshirt, her very last words we-

what. WHY.

FUCK YOUUUUUUUU

I got paranoid about any further units getting killed so Hunker Away!

*tumble weed in the distance*

*wind noises*

Alas, the Stormtrooper falls. all according to keikaku. (Sadly, this does ruin my plan a bit, well not really. My plan was to put her next to a group of aliens, toss an alien grenade at her feet and scream "VIGIOLO CONFIDO" before dying a horrendous death moving on to paradise.)

...something tells me I could have easily killed it the previous turn. Ah well, someone had to die to distract myself from Toast's death. (Seriously, o7 You will return as a MEC, riding into battle shiny and chrome. But for now, rest in peace in the knowledge that we have witnessed you.)

lel

these motherfuckers have been sitting there for 15 turns. 15. Screw this.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY ASS PISTOLS THIS PAIN IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE MOMENTARILY

GET.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

FU-oh come on! You ruined the moment!

*mutter* these people have no respect for traditional theater *grumble*

Sectoid wants a huuuuggg~

Wow, he hasn't done anything in this fight. Guess you can say he's just...spacing out *booed off stage*

The Sectoid retreats outside of LOS, no points for guessing what it's doing.

Okay, one more time, this time, with feeling.

*affectionate pat on head*

2 1 person died Bradford, how is this successful.

Well at least Vahlen (Surprisingly) has a heart. bradford please report to the research labs to get your primary heart implanted.

Oh you shouldn't have, really, you shouldn't have you perfect little killing machine you.

The second I pressed the hologlobe thingy, this thing pops up, ughh. Gimme a break for once.

With our numbers severely reduced, I was forced to allow the creation of the Ginyu Redshirt Force, may their corpses clog up the engine thingies whatever the hell aliens use to propel things.

Truly a fitting title for first live test run of the Redshirt Squadron. xcom is fueled by the blood of innocent men and women open your eyes sheeple wake up

At least 3 of them will die. If they do, the project is a complete success.

Go my minions! Die in futility For the glory of XCOM! Oh hey, for once the Meld is nearby! We might actually get this one! ...waaaait a minute.

suspicious.jpg

"Aliens aren't out to get you, you're just being paranoid."

"The mailman isn't spying on you, you're just being paranoid."

"There aren't people living in the sewers, you're just being paranoid." WELL GUESS WHO'S NOT DEAD AND SAVING THE WORLD?! HUH?! HUH?! ME THAT'S WHO Oh and the Redshirts are doing well as projected. Good work team! they weren't even given bullets because that was too expensive, they just fire blanks. it is also effective in preventing friendly fire incidents

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

By the gods, why don't you just bring the entire city along with you?

I am actually very amused/pleased by this turn of events, why can't this happen all the time? I don't have to actively hunt these guys out, just stay and overwatch spam them to death.

Oookaaay might be a small problem, but hey maybe they're polite, gentlemanly, robotic squids. Maybe they'll just wait patiently in line to let their comrades get the first shots in, who knows?

Oh I missed. boo hoo. It's not like I have an ability that allows me to fire twice or anything.

Oh cry, oh sob, what will I ever do, I'm ruined. *sips from cup of alien tears*

Well, I guess there's not much left other than clean up the rest of them.

Come on, you can do it! Show the world that color doesn't determine your status!

way to go reinforcing stereotypes. prick.

Okay off topic question but why the hell does Otacon say "Japanese animes" since anime literally just means cartoons. It's not some sort of special word denoting one specific type of animation. What, are there English Animes? (Okay RWBY maybe) Korean Animes? Flipino Animes? Why does he have to be so specific of what type of anime he's referring to? For a weeaboo, I expect him to know better.

But I digress, here you see Sniper Wolf taking out Decoy Octopus, probably because he keeps picking Charades for every "Friday Game Night".

...well then.

Clearly, as this is a red shirt issue, it can only be solved by red shirts, something something politics something Lord of the Rings maybe.

Well, at least you proved that you can see beyond your eyes.

Now that the Seekers are gone, the Sectoids move up the line. How courteous of them to be patient like that.

Floaters, on the other hand, are utter brutes who you should never invite to fondue parties. They'll mock you for lacking cybernetic implants, steal your bread, and then eat the cheese seperately. Complete Philistines, the whole lot so says me wot wot.

The Redshirts continue to show their inablity to kill anything, only being able to dish out negligible wounds that'll end up getting healed immediately in the next scene or forgotten about completely.

That is, if they actually land a hit at all.I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed.

That thing bullet is going to ricochet and headshot her partner, mark my words.


...I may reconsider your color choice.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

However for you, well, have you decided on a career of bullfighting? I think the bulls will love the shade of that dark,deep, crimson red. (Side Fact: Bulls cannot see red, for they are colorblind. Red is just there for style.)

Show them what a real gun that isn't filled with blanks soldier does it.

Atta girl. Promotion for you.

What? Spread the kills around so the squadron won't suck nearly as much?

What silly nonsense you speak! Now head downstairs to be summarily executed to be rewarded for having a such broad opinions.

"Psst, hey Sectoid, want some candy?"

I can taste the bitter, but not the sweet.

Oh wait there it is.

The last Seeker is finally queued up, poor thing has been waiting quite some time.

Here, take some complimentary bullets, it's not much but hopefully it will offset the bitterness you feel for waiting so long.

"Thanks to AYY LMAO, I got all the ladies wrapped around my tentacles, this is no joke."

"I would like to make a counter offer, so please give me your attention."

"Why go for AYY LMAO when you go for Ai Yo~ for all the benefits and more with none of the side effects!"

"Ai Yo~: 9/10 XCOM soldiers agree is a superior product to AYY LMAO "86% of the time, works all the time."-A Very Satisified Customer"

Reslience? Ehh...well it is a colonel Assault skill but still...if this was a snap shot build this would be great but she's hardly going to be any where near combat.Although with that nickname, she's probably going to strangle aliens with her sniper rifle. (Garrote is to strangle someone with floss. Two bucks says she dies to a Seeker.) Uhh...counter thin man unit? thin man has a special abilty to crit all the time, overruling skills. @spaceman1997 Want to change your nickname?


Pretty decent will for a redshirt, shit aim tho. (His aim didn't even increase like come on man. It doesn't have to be this way.) No matter, rockets don't give two shits about aim.

Yo @Nanimani want this chick or somebody else? She's pretty decent methinks.

Of course you've got something (I recently ordered a batch of soldiers, which I totally forgot to do in time but I thought oh well I got plenty of time. For once, mismanagement bites me in the ass.)

Just a little glitch from using the Commander's Choice mod. (Was orignally an Assault, game, why do you hate supports I must ask.) Alas, you cannot carry an EMP cannon into battle. That would probably fry all the electronics including the Skyranger and the 5 cities next door. at least I don't have to listen to bradford anymore

You're all fucking dead. You wanna know why?

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

MOTHERFUCKING PORTENT THAT'S WHO. Seriously, FUCK this mission. This isn't a "Hard but fun" no this is just "STICK A FUCKING BOULDER UP MY ASS WHY DON'T YOU I WON'T EVEN NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE." FUCK YOU COUNCIL. FUCK. YOU. THIN MEN. FUCK YOU ROOFTOPS. GODS.

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES I PLAYED THIS MISSION MY LAST GAME? 3 AND THIS IS WITH SAVE SCUM. THAT'S RIGHT, IT TOOK 3 RESTARTS WITH SAVE SCUMMING TO BEAT THE FUCKING LEVEL. AND I'M NOT COUNTING MY OTHER PREVIOUS PLAYTHROUGHS.

However, playing that mission so many times has given me an advantage, for you see, the aliens have a fixed spawn location.

I can now dash to my heart's content, knowing where the aliens can see and can't see.

Surprise Motherfucker.

satisifying.

YOU THINK THE DARKNESS IS YOUR ALLY.

YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME.

NOT EVEN COVER WILL SAVE YOU, I HAVE CRUSHED YOUR SACRED ALTAR.

Anywho, I split the team in two, the two actual competent soldiers (Alpha) move up to deal with the actual threats, meanwhile the Amazing Redshirt Trio head off to the left. Yes it takes 3 people to kill one guy.

This guy. this guy. Did you know you can let him die and nothing will change? You still get a reward for beating the mission, you gain nothing, absolutely nothing from saving him. Gee! Sure would've been nice if I learned that last time. Screw you, if they all miss, you're going to get shot. Snitches get stitches.

Uhm...wow okay, that's...not too bad, from a 63% aim gal.

You just had to get my hopes up, didn't you.

I swear, it's either I overkill a weakened enemy or barely tickle one at full strength. Murphy's Law man.

Poor poor Guardsman, literally the worst of the worst.

To redeem herself, I decided to give her a very special job.

Although I don't think dressing her up as a steak and slathering her with barbeque sauce is going to lure aliens better. *shrug*

The trap is set...

Burn the Heretic. Kill the Mutant. Purge the Unclean.

Everyone sets up for the inevitable shitstorm because guess whaaaaattt~

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

The moment you capture the guy, the aliens start raining from the sky. Hallelujah

I was considering putting him on the roof but considering that's where all the action is, I thought wiser of it. (I could kill him now but he could be good bait later, plus Bradford won't bitch if I keep him alive.)

Like cloc- okay this is unexpected. It's a good thing to know where they will spawn, it's a bad idea to sit where they spawn. Woops.

Well, not much we can do about it now, might as well clean up the stragglers.

You know, I had a little hope in you. Just a little bit.

Yeaaaah, not liking it. Nope not one bit. Even if she does kill it, she's going to get poisoned.

Not sure why I thought shooting with a different person would stop the poison from occurring, but doesn't matter she missed anyways. guess who shot up the line for arc thrower duty!

Welp, it's either she dies, or get hit with poison. Since now I know aliens are quite picky eaters, they won't go for the small fry nay they want filet mignon.
Better 3 points of damage than 6, at least she can survive this.

...orrrr not! Wait, so was the thin man actually just sitting on her head? flapping it's arms like a chicken Well, this is a pleasant surprise and something I'll keep in mind later on.

Oh quiet you, you're going to wish you died here. Vahlen's got plans for you sunshine.

I uhh...not sure why you came along, probably a scheduling error.

Trying to be sneaky by coming from behind huh? We'll show you what we do with the scum such as the likes of you.


Why.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Much better!

63% to hit, he is literally just standing there. He's not even trying to shoot at you.

An anti-thin man unit...hmm...we might have something here...

Bleh, take the shot, you're going to die next turn anyways.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

...I guess even a redshirt has their days. (if limited)

Guess you can say he...brought the house down. (Does this work? I mean, he is on a roof so like...yeah I'll stop.)

Just like their namesake, the Super Heavy Bros always has that one guy who never fails to disappoint.

Too little, too late my friend. Enjoy the bench!

I was going to have him run through the poison gas to have him uhh...'lighten up' but I forgot to do that. Kinda like the XCOM funerals I forget to attend to.

107 Aim and Disabling shot, she has officially surpassed a Colonel Sniper. Yeah she's going to be great for when we have to capture aliens.

...must...resist...obvious...joke... (As an aside, it was either Supression or Danger Zone, kinda odd as DZ helps out Supression but whatever.)

Finally, after a tumultuous 7 days (7 days?! Seriously? Even I'm surprised. Hadn't noticed that until now. Huh.)

Now here's a biggie, the obvious choice is to go lasers but thing is...we won't get them before the terror mission. (Lasers is 28 days. Next Terror Mission is in 13-17 days.) Now mind you, the lasers will be helpful in May when Confounding Light appears alongside Gangplank and when Mutons start showing up. On the other hand, we can go for Xeno-Biology which in turn goes to Arc Thrower. Why sacrifice Lasers over Arc Throwers? One reason: Friends in Low Places/Confounding Light. Friends in Low Places occurs on April 21st, we have 14 days left, we can if given enough time get the Arc Thrower ready. Why is this so important you may ask? Because a Muton shows up, capturing a Muton alive not only grants us it's Plasma Rifle but's it's live body. Xeno Biology allows us to build the Alien Containment facility, Arc Thrower will take 8-9 days, just in time/a little later if we're lucky, in the ever case we're not, there's always the extra 24 hour grace period which might be enough time for the Arc Thrower to be deployed. This is not counting the fact the second abduction mission might give us scientists, further decreasing the amount of time. Once we capture the Muton, we can interrogate to halve the plasma research requirement time. So the point limit for Lasers is 120, Plasma is a whopping 340. However, since the interrogation reduces it in half, we have now a more managable 170. What does this mean? With our measly 6 scientists (lol), lasers will take 20-28 (last time it was 28.) days, Plasma on the other hand, gives us 28 days, just one more week of waiting. So it might just be worth our while to rush Plasma. However, it is is a bit of risky decision so we could either play it safe, or hold on to the belief fortune favors the bold.
The Choice is yours, Commanders.
[]Rush Plasma
[]Stick to Lasers
(Carapace will come later don't worry.)
tl;dr
High Risk Medium/High Reward
vs
Low Risk Medium Reward

 

[Shadows]

Let's get that arc thrower.

 

[JarringToaster]

[X] Rush Plasma

Well, at least one of the Homus survived. I'll wait a little while before volunteering again so others can get a chance.

 

[Oracle of Space]

COMMUNIST ALIEN DETECTED ON AMERICAN SOIL.

Click to shrink...

Um what, err I had nothing to do with that. No sir, no communist alliens here. Hail Mother America?

they weren't even given bullets because that was too expensive, they just fire blanks. it is also effective in preventing friendly fire incidents

Click to shrink...

I wish. Seriously you should have seen how mad I was when a rookie crit on a paniced shot into my best sniper. Instant KO. Of course she ended up paniaking when I placed her directly in the path of a Beserker the next mission, and soloed it. With a standard sniper riffle. Double crit.

...orrrr not! Wait, so was the thin man actually just sitting on her head? flapping it's arms like a chicken Well, this is a pleasant surprise and something I'll keep in mind later on.

Click to shrink...

Timestop shenanagins.

[x]Rush Plasma

As for a nickname: Diplomacy

Cause nothing says diplomacy like shooting an allien in the face with an anti-material rifle.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

Um what, err I had nothing to do with that. No sir, no communist alliens here. Hail Mother America?

I wish. Seriously you should have seen how mad I was when a rookie crit on a paniced shot into my best sniper. Instant KO. Of course she ended up paniaking when I placed her directly in the path of a Beserker the next mission, and soloed it. With a standard sniper riffle. Double crit.

Timestop shenanagins.

[x]Rush Plasma

As for a nickname: Diplomacy

Cause nothing says diplomacy like shooting an allien in the face with an anti-material rifle.

Click to shrink...

I loled when my best assault killed my second best heavy. How ja get a double crit? Double tap?

 

[Oracle of Space]

She shot the alien, the Berserker rushed her, she panicked and shot him a second time.

This was during my first play though. The same play through where my psychic champion was infamous for always ending up mind controlled.

 

[lilflamewars]

[X] Rush Plasma
What is this laser crap anyway? Get this junk outa here!

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

I'm not sure if you guys have a lot of faith in me or you just like watching me suffer.

 

[lilflamewars]

I'm not sure if you guys have a lot of faith in me or you just like watching me suffer.

Click to shrink...

What's that commander? Give everyone in red armour an arc thrower and have them bum rush the closest alien? Well if you say so...

 

[Shadows]

*quickly puts on black armor*

I always give my newbies white armor, middle guys wear black, and my murderhobos wear dark green.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

*quickly puts on black armor*

I always give my newbies white armor, middle guys wear black, and my murderhobos wear dark green.

Click to shrink...

Oh you play this game too? Huh, so what do ya think of my tactics?

 

[Shadows]

Not too shabby so far.

 

[MysteriousOldGuy]

[X]Stick to Lasers

Gambling on a whole lot of things going exactly right for you.

This is X-come, baby, as the image goes.

If luck exists in X-com, its usually to stomp you harder for it later.

 

[Walker Of Chaos]

I'm not sure if you guys have a lot of faith in me or you just like watching me suffer.

Click to shrink...

Faith what's that? I'm just here to observe the trainwreck

[X] Rush Plasma

 

[Superticus]

[X]Stick to Lasers

 

[Nanimani]

Yeah, I'm fine with the soldier you offered.

[X]Rush Plasma

 

[Masket]

[x] Stick to Lasers

Because lasers.

 

[Private Lee O'Malley]

Okay it's 6 Plasma to 3 Lasers, if anyone else want to speak up now please do.

 

[Nanimani]

snek waifus when?