Ave Anathema
Ave Imperator
- Location
- Jacksonville Illinois
[x] Can I talk with her, alone, before choosing anything permanent? can you arrange that?
[x] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
[x] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
Wyrm (A Worm Quest)
- Thread starter Z488411
- Start date
[X] "But why me? I'm not even that strong. You know New wave! You've seen the pamphlets, I'm sorry but…" What could I even do about this? (Emma has made her decision, trying to force her won't help, but maybe someone else can. Live at Kurt and Lacey's)
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
This seams interesting...
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
This seams interesting...
- Location
- Europe
[X] Can I talk with her, alone, before choosing anything permanent? can you arrange that?
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
- Location
- Madison, AL
[X] "I… But... How?" It was still Emma and if she was hurt, if she was pushing me away because she was hurt, I at least had to try. (try to help Emma and get to the bottom of this, success not guaranteed
- [X] live at the Barnes' house
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache- [X] live at the Barnes' house
-50 words for murder, and I'm every-one-of-them-
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- Location
- Over the hill and far away
[X] "But why me? I'm not even that strong. You know New wave! You've seen the pamphlets, I'm sorry but…" What could I even do about this? (Emma has made her decision, trying to force her won't help, but maybe someone else can.Llive at Kurt and Lacey's)
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
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ChildishChimera
A umbran summon
- Location
- New York
[X] "I… I don't know! How would I even get her to talk to me? Are you sure she wouldn't just run? I want to help, but I can't. I don't know how I could get through. I don't even know what's going on." She wouldn't even talk to you. Would she really be different if you told her. Mr. Barnes was crying. You were crying but what could you even do? (do not try to get close to Emma again, but promise to try and protect her anyway if possible. Live at Kurt and Lacey's)
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
[X] "I… But... How?" It was still Emma and if she was hurt, if she was pushing me away because she was hurt, I at least had to try. (try to help Emma and get to the bottom of this, success not guaranteed
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
Well I want to see the Shadow Stalker quest through. Though not live with the Barnes.
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
Well I want to see the Shadow Stalker quest through. Though not live with the Barnes.
- Location
- Ural, Russia, Earth
[X] "I… But... How?" It was still Emma and if she was hurt, if she was pushing me away because she was hurt, I at least had to try. (try to help Emma and get to the bottom of this, success not guaranteed
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
- Location
- Aus
[X] "I… But... How?" It was still Emma and if she was hurt, if she was pushing me away because she was hurt, I at least had to try. (try to help Emma and get to the bottom of this, success not guaranteed
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
-[X]live at Kurt and Lacey's
[X] do not tell him about your growth
[X] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
- Location
- Madison, AL
I like the decisions.
- Location
- Madison, AL
We understand.
Cracks 1.12
Z488411
Scatterbrained
- Location
- Europa
Cracks 1.12
[x] Can I talk with her, alone, before choosing anything permanent? can you arrange that?
[x] do not tell him about your growth
[x] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
For the first few seconds I didn't know what to say at all. I was just breathing, staring at him and ignoring the instinct to refuse just because he was pushing. He hadn't tried to use any leverage on me. He'd just asked and he cared about Emma. Of course he would. Even if he was much more interested in her than in me, I shouldn't blame him too much. He was still helping me after all.
I'd never seen him cry, never seen him even close to crying before.
I just still didn't know what to do. Or what I could do for that matter. But I couldn't leave this. I couldn't just turn him down and if Emma really was hurt. I owed it to her to at least try. I might be shaking, I might be angry, but I was not willing to give up yet. Maybe I just despised the very idea of it, but if it might just not be too late yet…
"I… Can I talk to her alone? Can you make sure she'll talk to me?" I hated how weak my voice sounded right then. Maybe I was weak. Still. But I shouldn't be that weak. I wiped my face. Just say it. Say what you mean.
"I'm going to try, I can't promise anything and I'll decide on anything permanent after that, but I'm going to try." And I would do everything I could, because maybe that Emma wasn't quite gone yet. Would it work? I should have asked that, but I also didn't want to. What was even going on in my head? I knew this wasn't how I would have said it before, but I couldn't stop it. I could suppress it but… I knew it should a a bad thing. I just couldn't be quite sure myself. I couldn't even say it wasn't me. Of that it wasn't a good thing, it kept me from giving up, it kept me from being quiet, it just… I would have to think about it some more at home.
Mr Barnes just… seemed to collapse there. Sunk into his chair, closed his eyes. I was hardly even aware of Kurt and Lacey watching. Lacey I knew was thinking. Kurt didn't seem to know what to say, but he reached out to put a hand on Mr. Barnes' shoulder. He just shuddered before brushing it off and wiping the remains of his outburst away as best as he could, as if it had never happened. If he'd managed completely, I might have been disturbed, but the red eyes stayed behind. As did the small trembles in his hand and arm.
Finally Lacey spoke up. "Did you ask New Wave about this?"
That seemed to shock him out of his silence. "I asked her if she wanted to meet with any of them. I've asked Carol about it, but… She didn't. She's not listening to me anymore and if I tried now, I'm sure she would just never attend the meeting."
"And having her run into them on patrol or elsewhere wouldn't work either, would it?"
"No. I don't think so, if anything, they already met and it didn't work out. Emma… doesn't have a good opinion of New Wave anymore."
I knew consent of the minor wasn't required to sign up to the Wards. It was preferred, but not strictly required. Lacey would know that too, but if she refused to meet with New Wave… would she meet with the Wards? Or the Protectorate? "I'll try and if it won't work… you might be able to sign her up to the Wards?"
No. I'd said something wrong. Mr. Barnes was tensing up. Lacey didn't look happy for some reason but.."No. I can't lose her. Taylor. Please. If I try to go to the PRT I'll lose her, she'll run away or… I don't know what else. You're her friend. I can go to New Wave. Don't you think I've already tried to convince her to go to the Wards. I don't know what's happening, but I can't force her." And you were reasonably sure he really meant can't, not wouldn't or won't.
"So we'll wait with these paper for now. Taylor, I think I could ask the school to give you another day off or however long until this is resolved fairly easily." Lacey's cool voice was… nice, in a weird way. Reassuring, but not warm like Kurt. When I was younger I might have found it a bit eerie and it almost was now, because she looked so tired, but she'd also gotten my lenses switched. She'd done a lot of things without asking directly. And I wasn't sure I could go back to school right now anyway. Well, I could. I just couldn't look at Emma or Sophia or even Madison, not without giving anything away. Which was almost the same thing.
"Yeah. Sorry. But Mr. Barnes, when do you think I should talk to her?" No, I just couldn't go back yet. When would she not try to get away or just ignore you straight out. I felt disturbingly like putting up a trap for my best friend. Or Ex best friend. That was just wrong! So why didn't it feel that way all the way?
"When she comes home from School most likely. She'll be here trying to get some more sleep before she'll go to meet up with her… friend." He didn't think said friend really was any friend of Emma's, at least you didn't think so. But most of all, you'd never seen him so.. defeated? Helpless and still trying to fight with everything he had. He probably had more ideas. More plans, but I couldn't really blame him for trying to help Emma?
[ Humanity -2]
Could I?
I slumped. "So… You think I should just wait here until she comes home?"
Mr. Barnes shook his head. "I think the best strategy would be to wait and stay where she keeps her costume. I wish I didn't have to do this, but Emma needs help and she can't see it right now." He didn't seem like the Mr. Barnes I knew one moment and exactly like himself in the next. No wonder your instincts were confused. And no wonder you wanted to keep an eye on this, but if he was right…
"Okay, I'll come here before she should get back."
He nodded, then glanced over to Kurt and Lacey. He still didn't look happy. "You should take the bus or if you decide to drive Taylor again, park out of sight." Quiet. Lining up the papers and putting them into a folder, before getting up and carefully placing them on a side table. "I'm sorry about this. If I knew any better way, I wouldn't have sprung this on you."
He sighed. "So… I suppose I'm going to see you tomorrow then, won't I?"
"You're not even offering us tea? You can't hate us that much, can you?" I knew Lacey would be rebuffed even before he said anything.
Mr. Barnes' brief smile looked tired. "Not if it means Zoe or Anne might come back and talk." Now I at least knew why the house was so empty.
"They didn't agree with you." and where I couldn't quite tell what Lacey thought, Kurt was definitely angry. Quiet, he didn't shout like Dad had, but I could see it smoldering below the surface anyway.
"No. But you have to understand… even if I were sure it would work..." he ran his hand over the folder. "I'm not ready to lose her just yet. Not even to the PRT." Mr. Barnes looked up. His eyes flickered with something. Made you glance back, made something flicker in you in return. He wasn't even a cape, but what I felt right then, I didn't know what it was, but Mr. Barnes wouldn't give up either. And I wasn't sure whether it was fear or appreciation, whether he was or wasn't my enemy, because I had no idea where eh would stop. And I was suspecting he wouldn't stop at all.
And it made complete sense to me.
Of course, Kurt and Lacey didn't look like they approved nearly as much as I did. I shouldn't approve either, at least I thought I shouldn't but maybe I was just being contrary. And I wasn't sure approval was the right word for it anyway. I just didn't know what it was.
I didn't know what to say. Should I say anything? Maybe it was better if I didn't acknowledge it at all. "I'll... see you tomorrow I guess."
Kurt nodded at least.
"We'll be there so I suppose, see you then, Alan!" We turned, well Kurt and Lacey turned and I followed, but even behind the closed door I could hear something else.
"I'm sorry Emma."
We drove back to Kurt and Lacey's house in silence, probably by mutual agreement.
Sitting back around a different table, Kurt was actually the first one to say anything. "That… didn't go the way I expected.."
"I was guessing Alan was just depressed because of Danny, but we've barely talked to him. To be honest we only really started because of the accident and he was trying to help."
"Christ. Can't even say we should've expected this."
Nobody said anything else for a few more seconds. Then Lacey found her voice. "If you don't want to, we'll find another way to resolve this. We should have at least noticed something was off."
"Hah. Don't blame yourself, we were plenty off ourselves. Still are, really. Never had a kid but it seems like it's going wrong all around doesn't it?"
She winced. Kurt and Lacey couldn't have children. I'd never asked if she would have if she could. "You'll just have to deal with it, I'm still feeling used. I can't say I don't understand why or why it would be best strategically to spring it on us now instead of earlier. It just feels wrong, under the circumstances."
"All of it feels wrong. Can't help that."
Lacey nodded.
I felt like not having any idea what to say was becoming a common thread. At least I didn't have to now. Everyone was looking exhausted. Looking down, until Kurt went to make tea and my thoughts wandered toward something else wrong. They were disgusted with Mr. Barnes, but why couldn't I bring myself to be the same? I felt danger. I almost knew he would turn against me and Kurt and Lacey if he had to, against us. He would hurt us. But why wasn't I angry? I wanted to help Emma too, of course I did, I felt a little betrayed too, but why didn't I hate him? Why did I even have some little bit of respect for what he was doing? I shouldn't do. Or not for what he was doing, but maybe how and why? I couldn't even find the right word.
I just knew I had to at least try to help Emma.
A few minutes later and Kurt and Lacey leaning against each other on the couch and me in an armchair, all of us with our own mug of tea. It wasn't the same as home, didn't smell the same, but it was a little warm. It helped just slightly, the steam curling around my nose was at least something. It wasn't like before, when I would have had to let go because the mug was so hot. I was drinking the nearly boiling water and it just felt slightly warm, but it was something. Something to hold on to, even if I could crush it in a heartbeat. The flavours on my tongue and in my nose helped. Something mixed with chamomile. I only noticed Lacey's concerned look just before she looked away.
"I suppose I should have expected that." Her smile helped almost more than the tea.
"Maybe. It still tastes nice." Somehow, it was okay.
I was okay.
None of us were well, even if my face wasn't marked by exhaustion, but we were okay somehow.
Or at least we would be.
I just hoped Emma could be okay too.
A few hours later, we cooked together. Lacey did the cutting, I took care of the meat, Kurt was making sure nothing got burnt or stayed on the heat for too long. The subtle aroma of rosemary was surrounding everything, subtly complemented by the few other herbs in use. I could also smell pepper, taste it in the air. The steam caressing my skin, even if most of it was successfully funnelled outside and didn't stick around.
I had to be careful of course, but I was also taking far more time than was necessary. I wasn't at piece yet, it wasn't like Cooking with Mom or even with Dad, although he'd barely talked to me for so long, he had promised we'd cook together again, but it was something, A different recipe, involving skewering the meat onto the rosemary branches and fried potatoes and greens. I'd gone out to get it, partially because I had no problem going outside barefoot and in just a t-shirt now. There were a lot of things none of us had mentioned yet. A lot of things I didn't feel I could say and a lot of things Kurt and Lacey didn't bring up either, but doing it now wouldn't have helped either way.
Suffice to say staying at the Barnes' place would have been very different. I knew how everything worked there, I'd visited often enough. I knew how to get into the shower before Anne did, I knew how to wake Emma without accidentally getting smacked in the face because she had that peculiar way of turning over with her arm fully extended and I knew better than to even try talking to Mrs. Barnes before his first coffee or to try and ask Mr. Barnes about his work. Well, unless I wanted to not have to talk for a while, in which case it was great.
But they hadn't been the same since summer. All of them probably and I'd been turned away too many times to try again. Or maybe I would just have refused no for an answer if my current thought patterns were any indication.
Here my thoughts were only interrupted by a few quiet requests. I could think. I wasn't being pushed and I didn't have to be afraid that I would snap at them or do something else.
Emma would have pestered me. Mrs. Barnes would have tried to get me out of the house and doing something, homework, going to school, anything. Lacey had just asked and accepted and unspoken no, even if I had the feeling she or Kurt would try again eventually. Homework just seemed so pointless now. Mom would have wanted me to carry on. Dad would have wanted me to too. They both would have wanted me to do well and it wasn't even that I disliked school. It just seemed a bit… pointless right now.
Or maybe I was just feeling empty in general.
I started distributing the cutlery.
"Thanks, Taylor."
I nodded at Lacey, with the glasses and plates. Kurt was coming with the pots and pan.
I ended up distributing almost everything or maybe they just let me. We all still had a lot on my mind, even if I hadn't even found the right words for what was going on with me yet, never mind being able to tell anyone else about it. I didn't quite dare asking how organising the Dockworkers went without Dad. I knew that was what they were doing, but… not yet. Not yet.
I knew someone would take over, but I didn't think I could ever see them the same way I saw Dad. So I didn't ask. And because I didn't ask and avoided to as much as say the words, they didn't say anything either. Just quietly take care of things, much the same way I did or should do my cape research.
The wood, rosemary flavour and delicious brown crust stopped me thinking about anything else for a moment. Soft, slightly chewy and so very meaty. Just what I needed. Exactly what I needed. I savoured the taste, bite by bite with closed eyes, pouring sauce over my potatoes. So soft, but so good. My teeth sheared through with almost no resistance but it didn't matter, the taste was still there. Not to mention that I had yet to find something that could have resisted my teeth anyway. The garlic and brown crust made the potatoes just that much better. I had to force myself to savour it, not to just swallow it all whole, but with my powers…
We just didn't have enough to buy that much food. Definitely not enough to buy this quality. Not even with what the PRT paid its affiliates, although that would at least hopefully have me subsisting on mostly normal food. If my stomach didn't get any bigger anyway. Maybe I could apply for extra due to special circumstances, that form existed at least.
"So..."
I blinked. Apparently I somehow, through some sort of weird miracle, had finished last.
"How do you feel about some coal and steel for dessert?" Kurt grinned. "I picked a few things no one'll miss up this morning."
And that was that. I found out I liked coal better than steel, actually I really really liked coal in general, I liked glass, all sorts of other minerals and wood as well. And apparently eating lots of other stuff beforehand made peanut butter and water so much better than before.
All said and done, I wasn't the least bit surprised when I fell asleep right after dinner, but only woke up at ten anyway. Nor was I surprised that Kurt and Lacey had taken the opportunity to have a few more beers after the one they'd had with Dinner while I'd gone to sleep. I could still smell some of it. Though checking for cans or bottles only netted me neatly packed away ones.
Odd.
Annoying about dreams I couldn't begin to remember and with a note on the fridge, that Kurt and Lacey would take half a day off and would appear at the Barnes' house about ten minutes after Emma to make sure she wouldn't run, but to be on time if things went badly. I couldn't even object too much, because having support would be nice. That and Lacey was both taller and much more intimidating than I was. She might be intelligent, but she also has a very sturdy build and packed on muscled on top of that. Kurt had the added advantage of being a guy and did just as much manual labour as she did.
I didn't even notice that I wasn't using my glasses or even thinking about them until an hour after I'd gotten up.
Unfortunately, it was a bit late to go to the library now. At least if I wanted to get lost in research again. I would have maybe an hour there, perhaps a little more, before I had to get back on the bus to make it on time. Which was technically fifteen minutes early, but I would at least have enough time to prepare then.
Besides the scent of the wood was reassuring, as were the small noises from probably icy rain outside and the wind whistling though. As soon as I'd made myself tea, anticipation or not, as worried as I was… I had my book. And I could enjoy this calm before the coming storm. I sank into the two towers, far away. Let Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, and the others drag me along to another land and probably another time as well at least for a little while. The narrator in my head reading the lines with warm light from the lamp above the armchair in the living room.
Two hours drifting by, almost unnoticed, until I had to think about her again.
Put my book away, made myself another cup of faintly warm tea and let the scent of it drift through the room. So much clearer than before. Listening for the rain on the window, knowing I would be out there in fifteen minutes, but if could couldn't touch me, I doubted I would mind the rain. It just made nice sounds. So I finally put on my jacket. Took out my sneakers, even if it would be more practical to go barefoot just because they would be dry tomorrow if I did, and put them on too. Added the scarf, checked to make sure I had my set of keys and went out into the rain, welcoming that unique smell of wet pavement and wet earth.
Then I joined the small crowd in the city bus, all damp and surrounded by different scents entirely, half listening in on conversation after conversation only to discard them a moment later. Emma was more important than Janice's new dog or Hong Anh's new boyfriend or where Dustin was getting his money from. Although in any other circumstance I might have paid more attention to the latter.
I rang the doorbell.
Mr. Barnes let me inside and could faintly smell something I identified as tension on him, but I might be imagining that.
Then I was upstairs, in front of Emma's room, where her costume was. And I had a plan:
[ ] Write in plan, include an approach, such as aggressive, friendly, cautious etc.) and a main argument, bearing in mind Emma is currently very much under Sophia's influence and clinging to a similar philosophy.
Hunger: 40/100
Humanity: 72/100
Hunger and humanity are percentile. Depending on how much humanity you have, different actions or thoughts lead to losing or gaining humanity.
[x] Can I talk with her, alone, before choosing anything permanent? can you arrange that?
[x] do not tell him about your growth
[x] Director Piggot's worse-than-usual headache
For the first few seconds I didn't know what to say at all. I was just breathing, staring at him and ignoring the instinct to refuse just because he was pushing. He hadn't tried to use any leverage on me. He'd just asked and he cared about Emma. Of course he would. Even if he was much more interested in her than in me, I shouldn't blame him too much. He was still helping me after all.
I'd never seen him cry, never seen him even close to crying before.
I just still didn't know what to do. Or what I could do for that matter. But I couldn't leave this. I couldn't just turn him down and if Emma really was hurt. I owed it to her to at least try. I might be shaking, I might be angry, but I was not willing to give up yet. Maybe I just despised the very idea of it, but if it might just not be too late yet…
"I… Can I talk to her alone? Can you make sure she'll talk to me?" I hated how weak my voice sounded right then. Maybe I was weak. Still. But I shouldn't be that weak. I wiped my face. Just say it. Say what you mean.
"I'm going to try, I can't promise anything and I'll decide on anything permanent after that, but I'm going to try." And I would do everything I could, because maybe that Emma wasn't quite gone yet. Would it work? I should have asked that, but I also didn't want to. What was even going on in my head? I knew this wasn't how I would have said it before, but I couldn't stop it. I could suppress it but… I knew it should a a bad thing. I just couldn't be quite sure myself. I couldn't even say it wasn't me. Of that it wasn't a good thing, it kept me from giving up, it kept me from being quiet, it just… I would have to think about it some more at home.
Mr Barnes just… seemed to collapse there. Sunk into his chair, closed his eyes. I was hardly even aware of Kurt and Lacey watching. Lacey I knew was thinking. Kurt didn't seem to know what to say, but he reached out to put a hand on Mr. Barnes' shoulder. He just shuddered before brushing it off and wiping the remains of his outburst away as best as he could, as if it had never happened. If he'd managed completely, I might have been disturbed, but the red eyes stayed behind. As did the small trembles in his hand and arm.
Finally Lacey spoke up. "Did you ask New Wave about this?"
That seemed to shock him out of his silence. "I asked her if she wanted to meet with any of them. I've asked Carol about it, but… She didn't. She's not listening to me anymore and if I tried now, I'm sure she would just never attend the meeting."
"And having her run into them on patrol or elsewhere wouldn't work either, would it?"
"No. I don't think so, if anything, they already met and it didn't work out. Emma… doesn't have a good opinion of New Wave anymore."
I knew consent of the minor wasn't required to sign up to the Wards. It was preferred, but not strictly required. Lacey would know that too, but if she refused to meet with New Wave… would she meet with the Wards? Or the Protectorate? "I'll try and if it won't work… you might be able to sign her up to the Wards?"
No. I'd said something wrong. Mr. Barnes was tensing up. Lacey didn't look happy for some reason but.."No. I can't lose her. Taylor. Please. If I try to go to the PRT I'll lose her, she'll run away or… I don't know what else. You're her friend. I can go to New Wave. Don't you think I've already tried to convince her to go to the Wards. I don't know what's happening, but I can't force her." And you were reasonably sure he really meant can't, not wouldn't or won't.
"So we'll wait with these paper for now. Taylor, I think I could ask the school to give you another day off or however long until this is resolved fairly easily." Lacey's cool voice was… nice, in a weird way. Reassuring, but not warm like Kurt. When I was younger I might have found it a bit eerie and it almost was now, because she looked so tired, but she'd also gotten my lenses switched. She'd done a lot of things without asking directly. And I wasn't sure I could go back to school right now anyway. Well, I could. I just couldn't look at Emma or Sophia or even Madison, not without giving anything away. Which was almost the same thing.
"Yeah. Sorry. But Mr. Barnes, when do you think I should talk to her?" No, I just couldn't go back yet. When would she not try to get away or just ignore you straight out. I felt disturbingly like putting up a trap for my best friend. Or Ex best friend. That was just wrong! So why didn't it feel that way all the way?
"When she comes home from School most likely. She'll be here trying to get some more sleep before she'll go to meet up with her… friend." He didn't think said friend really was any friend of Emma's, at least you didn't think so. But most of all, you'd never seen him so.. defeated? Helpless and still trying to fight with everything he had. He probably had more ideas. More plans, but I couldn't really blame him for trying to help Emma?
[ Humanity -2]
Could I?
I slumped. "So… You think I should just wait here until she comes home?"
Mr. Barnes shook his head. "I think the best strategy would be to wait and stay where she keeps her costume. I wish I didn't have to do this, but Emma needs help and she can't see it right now." He didn't seem like the Mr. Barnes I knew one moment and exactly like himself in the next. No wonder your instincts were confused. And no wonder you wanted to keep an eye on this, but if he was right…
"Okay, I'll come here before she should get back."
He nodded, then glanced over to Kurt and Lacey. He still didn't look happy. "You should take the bus or if you decide to drive Taylor again, park out of sight." Quiet. Lining up the papers and putting them into a folder, before getting up and carefully placing them on a side table. "I'm sorry about this. If I knew any better way, I wouldn't have sprung this on you."
He sighed. "So… I suppose I'm going to see you tomorrow then, won't I?"
"You're not even offering us tea? You can't hate us that much, can you?" I knew Lacey would be rebuffed even before he said anything.
Mr. Barnes' brief smile looked tired. "Not if it means Zoe or Anne might come back and talk." Now I at least knew why the house was so empty.
"They didn't agree with you." and where I couldn't quite tell what Lacey thought, Kurt was definitely angry. Quiet, he didn't shout like Dad had, but I could see it smoldering below the surface anyway.
"No. But you have to understand… even if I were sure it would work..." he ran his hand over the folder. "I'm not ready to lose her just yet. Not even to the PRT." Mr. Barnes looked up. His eyes flickered with something. Made you glance back, made something flicker in you in return. He wasn't even a cape, but what I felt right then, I didn't know what it was, but Mr. Barnes wouldn't give up either. And I wasn't sure whether it was fear or appreciation, whether he was or wasn't my enemy, because I had no idea where eh would stop. And I was suspecting he wouldn't stop at all.
And it made complete sense to me.
Of course, Kurt and Lacey didn't look like they approved nearly as much as I did. I shouldn't approve either, at least I thought I shouldn't but maybe I was just being contrary. And I wasn't sure approval was the right word for it anyway. I just didn't know what it was.
I didn't know what to say. Should I say anything? Maybe it was better if I didn't acknowledge it at all. "I'll... see you tomorrow I guess."
Kurt nodded at least.
"We'll be there so I suppose, see you then, Alan!" We turned, well Kurt and Lacey turned and I followed, but even behind the closed door I could hear something else.
"I'm sorry Emma."
We drove back to Kurt and Lacey's house in silence, probably by mutual agreement.
Sitting back around a different table, Kurt was actually the first one to say anything. "That… didn't go the way I expected.."
"I was guessing Alan was just depressed because of Danny, but we've barely talked to him. To be honest we only really started because of the accident and he was trying to help."
"Christ. Can't even say we should've expected this."
Nobody said anything else for a few more seconds. Then Lacey found her voice. "If you don't want to, we'll find another way to resolve this. We should have at least noticed something was off."
"Hah. Don't blame yourself, we were plenty off ourselves. Still are, really. Never had a kid but it seems like it's going wrong all around doesn't it?"
She winced. Kurt and Lacey couldn't have children. I'd never asked if she would have if she could. "You'll just have to deal with it, I'm still feeling used. I can't say I don't understand why or why it would be best strategically to spring it on us now instead of earlier. It just feels wrong, under the circumstances."
"All of it feels wrong. Can't help that."
Lacey nodded.
I felt like not having any idea what to say was becoming a common thread. At least I didn't have to now. Everyone was looking exhausted. Looking down, until Kurt went to make tea and my thoughts wandered toward something else wrong. They were disgusted with Mr. Barnes, but why couldn't I bring myself to be the same? I felt danger. I almost knew he would turn against me and Kurt and Lacey if he had to, against us. He would hurt us. But why wasn't I angry? I wanted to help Emma too, of course I did, I felt a little betrayed too, but why didn't I hate him? Why did I even have some little bit of respect for what he was doing? I shouldn't do. Or not for what he was doing, but maybe how and why? I couldn't even find the right word.
I just knew I had to at least try to help Emma.
A few minutes later and Kurt and Lacey leaning against each other on the couch and me in an armchair, all of us with our own mug of tea. It wasn't the same as home, didn't smell the same, but it was a little warm. It helped just slightly, the steam curling around my nose was at least something. It wasn't like before, when I would have had to let go because the mug was so hot. I was drinking the nearly boiling water and it just felt slightly warm, but it was something. Something to hold on to, even if I could crush it in a heartbeat. The flavours on my tongue and in my nose helped. Something mixed with chamomile. I only noticed Lacey's concerned look just before she looked away.
"I suppose I should have expected that." Her smile helped almost more than the tea.
"Maybe. It still tastes nice." Somehow, it was okay.
I was okay.
None of us were well, even if my face wasn't marked by exhaustion, but we were okay somehow.
Or at least we would be.
I just hoped Emma could be okay too.
A few hours later, we cooked together. Lacey did the cutting, I took care of the meat, Kurt was making sure nothing got burnt or stayed on the heat for too long. The subtle aroma of rosemary was surrounding everything, subtly complemented by the few other herbs in use. I could also smell pepper, taste it in the air. The steam caressing my skin, even if most of it was successfully funnelled outside and didn't stick around.
I had to be careful of course, but I was also taking far more time than was necessary. I wasn't at piece yet, it wasn't like Cooking with Mom or even with Dad, although he'd barely talked to me for so long, he had promised we'd cook together again, but it was something, A different recipe, involving skewering the meat onto the rosemary branches and fried potatoes and greens. I'd gone out to get it, partially because I had no problem going outside barefoot and in just a t-shirt now. There were a lot of things none of us had mentioned yet. A lot of things I didn't feel I could say and a lot of things Kurt and Lacey didn't bring up either, but doing it now wouldn't have helped either way.
Suffice to say staying at the Barnes' place would have been very different. I knew how everything worked there, I'd visited often enough. I knew how to get into the shower before Anne did, I knew how to wake Emma without accidentally getting smacked in the face because she had that peculiar way of turning over with her arm fully extended and I knew better than to even try talking to Mrs. Barnes before his first coffee or to try and ask Mr. Barnes about his work. Well, unless I wanted to not have to talk for a while, in which case it was great.
But they hadn't been the same since summer. All of them probably and I'd been turned away too many times to try again. Or maybe I would just have refused no for an answer if my current thought patterns were any indication.
Here my thoughts were only interrupted by a few quiet requests. I could think. I wasn't being pushed and I didn't have to be afraid that I would snap at them or do something else.
Emma would have pestered me. Mrs. Barnes would have tried to get me out of the house and doing something, homework, going to school, anything. Lacey had just asked and accepted and unspoken no, even if I had the feeling she or Kurt would try again eventually. Homework just seemed so pointless now. Mom would have wanted me to carry on. Dad would have wanted me to too. They both would have wanted me to do well and it wasn't even that I disliked school. It just seemed a bit… pointless right now.
Or maybe I was just feeling empty in general.
I started distributing the cutlery.
"Thanks, Taylor."
I nodded at Lacey, with the glasses and plates. Kurt was coming with the pots and pan.
I ended up distributing almost everything or maybe they just let me. We all still had a lot on my mind, even if I hadn't even found the right words for what was going on with me yet, never mind being able to tell anyone else about it. I didn't quite dare asking how organising the Dockworkers went without Dad. I knew that was what they were doing, but… not yet. Not yet.
I knew someone would take over, but I didn't think I could ever see them the same way I saw Dad. So I didn't ask. And because I didn't ask and avoided to as much as say the words, they didn't say anything either. Just quietly take care of things, much the same way I did or should do my cape research.
The wood, rosemary flavour and delicious brown crust stopped me thinking about anything else for a moment. Soft, slightly chewy and so very meaty. Just what I needed. Exactly what I needed. I savoured the taste, bite by bite with closed eyes, pouring sauce over my potatoes. So soft, but so good. My teeth sheared through with almost no resistance but it didn't matter, the taste was still there. Not to mention that I had yet to find something that could have resisted my teeth anyway. The garlic and brown crust made the potatoes just that much better. I had to force myself to savour it, not to just swallow it all whole, but with my powers…
We just didn't have enough to buy that much food. Definitely not enough to buy this quality. Not even with what the PRT paid its affiliates, although that would at least hopefully have me subsisting on mostly normal food. If my stomach didn't get any bigger anyway. Maybe I could apply for extra due to special circumstances, that form existed at least.
"So..."
I blinked. Apparently I somehow, through some sort of weird miracle, had finished last.
"How do you feel about some coal and steel for dessert?" Kurt grinned. "I picked a few things no one'll miss up this morning."
And that was that. I found out I liked coal better than steel, actually I really really liked coal in general, I liked glass, all sorts of other minerals and wood as well. And apparently eating lots of other stuff beforehand made peanut butter and water so much better than before.
All said and done, I wasn't the least bit surprised when I fell asleep right after dinner, but only woke up at ten anyway. Nor was I surprised that Kurt and Lacey had taken the opportunity to have a few more beers after the one they'd had with Dinner while I'd gone to sleep. I could still smell some of it. Though checking for cans or bottles only netted me neatly packed away ones.
Odd.
Annoying about dreams I couldn't begin to remember and with a note on the fridge, that Kurt and Lacey would take half a day off and would appear at the Barnes' house about ten minutes after Emma to make sure she wouldn't run, but to be on time if things went badly. I couldn't even object too much, because having support would be nice. That and Lacey was both taller and much more intimidating than I was. She might be intelligent, but she also has a very sturdy build and packed on muscled on top of that. Kurt had the added advantage of being a guy and did just as much manual labour as she did.
I didn't even notice that I wasn't using my glasses or even thinking about them until an hour after I'd gotten up.
Unfortunately, it was a bit late to go to the library now. At least if I wanted to get lost in research again. I would have maybe an hour there, perhaps a little more, before I had to get back on the bus to make it on time. Which was technically fifteen minutes early, but I would at least have enough time to prepare then.
Besides the scent of the wood was reassuring, as were the small noises from probably icy rain outside and the wind whistling though. As soon as I'd made myself tea, anticipation or not, as worried as I was… I had my book. And I could enjoy this calm before the coming storm. I sank into the two towers, far away. Let Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, and the others drag me along to another land and probably another time as well at least for a little while. The narrator in my head reading the lines with warm light from the lamp above the armchair in the living room.
Two hours drifting by, almost unnoticed, until I had to think about her again.
Put my book away, made myself another cup of faintly warm tea and let the scent of it drift through the room. So much clearer than before. Listening for the rain on the window, knowing I would be out there in fifteen minutes, but if could couldn't touch me, I doubted I would mind the rain. It just made nice sounds. So I finally put on my jacket. Took out my sneakers, even if it would be more practical to go barefoot just because they would be dry tomorrow if I did, and put them on too. Added the scarf, checked to make sure I had my set of keys and went out into the rain, welcoming that unique smell of wet pavement and wet earth.
Then I joined the small crowd in the city bus, all damp and surrounded by different scents entirely, half listening in on conversation after conversation only to discard them a moment later. Emma was more important than Janice's new dog or Hong Anh's new boyfriend or where Dustin was getting his money from. Although in any other circumstance I might have paid more attention to the latter.
I rang the doorbell.
Mr. Barnes let me inside and could faintly smell something I identified as tension on him, but I might be imagining that.
Then I was upstairs, in front of Emma's room, where her costume was. And I had a plan:
[ ] Write in plan, include an approach, such as aggressive, friendly, cautious etc.) and a main argument, bearing in mind Emma is currently very much under Sophia's influence and clinging to a similar philosophy.
Hunger: 40/100
Humanity: 72/100
Hunger and humanity are percentile. Depending on how much humanity you have, different actions or thoughts lead to losing or gaining humanity.
- Location
- Over the hill and far away
....I can't even conceive of any way this could go well.
Z488411
Scatterbrained
- Location
- Europa
I never said it would be easy. That said I hope you're enjoying it anyway, failure is not the end and it is also not impossible.
You'll probably not get 100% what you want anyway though.
globalwarmth
ruining the weather.
- Location
- Polar ice caps
so, strength display? bend some steel and order her to sit?
Z488411
Scatterbrained
- Location
- Europa
Taylor could do that. An aggressive approach would include displaying her powers and attempting to push or intimidate Emma. (also drop her humanity a bit because you'll likely go with instincts but oh well, she's over 70 percent anyway.) Force her to see you're not weak in a very direct manner.
Any direct approach would likely lead to confrontation.
globalwarmth
ruining the weather.
- Location
- Polar ice caps
[] Plan: To catch a predator
-"Hello Emma, we have a lot to talk about. Why don't you take a seat right over there?"
-Be calm, be ice. Bring a prop to crush if she asks why should she hear you out.
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-
-
ahh i could use some help. I only have the start
-"Hello Emma, we have a lot to talk about. Why don't you take a seat right over there?"
-Be calm, be ice. Bring a prop to crush if she asks why should she hear you out.
-
-
-
ahh i could use some help. I only have the start
Z488411
Scatterbrained
- Location
- Europa
Feel free to quote me and ask questions.
- Location
- Europe
Just throwing out some ideas, for now, no 'plan' yet.
I would advise against an aggressive approach or any unnecessary shows of strength (like crushing something in front of her).
Being threatening in any way will no doubt result in a negative outcome.
The more we press our strength, the more we press her weakness, and we don't want that.
(At least, as anything other than the finishing blow. Simply using strength as a reason to listen to us encourages her view.)
I do like the Hansen introduction for style points though. Starting off with some tea and snacks with us to keep hunger balanced would be good too.
Keeping calm and passive is good too. Or rather, Emma seems to see passiveness as weakness, so not passive, but indifferent? Impassive? That probably doesn't make much sense...
You're not a threat, and you're not a target. You just are.
One possible route could be making this about Taylor rather than Emma. Start by finding out why we no longer have a friend and work backwards.
Possible lines:
"My friend is gone. Something broke her, and for what she used to be, what we used to have, I will fix her."
"But I'm still here. And I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I'll keep going on"
(In reference to being alive, not being at Emma's house)
"Father was strong. Too strong. It didn't help him."
I would advise against an aggressive approach or any unnecessary shows of strength (like crushing something in front of her).
Being threatening in any way will no doubt result in a negative outcome.
The more we press our strength, the more we press her weakness, and we don't want that.
(At least, as anything other than the finishing blow. Simply using strength as a reason to listen to us encourages her view.)
I do like the Hansen introduction for style points though. Starting off with some tea and snacks with us to keep hunger balanced would be good too.
Keeping calm and passive is good too. Or rather, Emma seems to see passiveness as weakness, so not passive, but indifferent? Impassive? That probably doesn't make much sense...
You're not a threat, and you're not a target. You just are.
One possible route could be making this about Taylor rather than Emma. Start by finding out why we no longer have a friend and work backwards.
Possible lines:
"My friend is gone. Something broke her, and for what she used to be, what we used to have, I will fix her."
"But I'm still here. And I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I'll keep going on"
(In reference to being alive, not being at Emma's house)
"Father was strong. Too strong. It didn't help him."