American Cape News
Slaughterhouse Nine Destroyed, Bonesaw In Custody
Just in from Arizona, we have word that the Slaughterhous Nine are now defunct as a group. Of their line-up prior to this event, the only survivor is the biotinker known as Bonesaw. The rest were quickly and efficiently killed by Terra and Sol, new members of the Cape scene who claim to be the
planet Terra and the Sun respectively. When questioned about their decisions, Terra claimed that Bonesaw was only spared on account of being forced into the Nine against her will.
The exact whereabouts of Bonesaw are now unknown, but it is known that Terra insisted on rehabilitation...
Miami Herald
Hurricane Hanna Mysteriously Disperses
Those of us who have been paying attention to the weather for the last week have been dreading the impact of Hurricane Hanna, a Category 4 Hurricane making its way towards Florida. To put it quite bluntly, the storm has apparently been cancelled, as it abruptly ceased rotation late last evening. Since then it has dispersed into a relatively-harmless collection of thundercells.
Meteorologists are at a loss to explain this sudden change in atmospheric conditions, but are busily...
Associated Press
PRT Releases Official Statement on Terra and Sol
Over the last two days, the duo of Terra and Sol have been making waves, not only with their actions, but also with their rather extraordinary claims of being planet Earth and the Sun respectively. After much clamor, Chief Director Costa-Brown herself made an appearance at a quickly scheduled press event. Her statement on the matter is as follows:
"As far as we can tell, Sol and Terra's claims of being celestial bodies are factually accurate, despite vast initial incredulity. In the case of Sol, she was taking music requests for her solar flares for several hours, which was verified by astronomers. For Terra meanwhile, several otherwise inexplicable geological, meteorological, and other phenomena have taken place over the last 39 hours. In one notable case, this was tied directly to one of the activities of Terra's human form, as a bathroom stop occurred simultaneously with Behemoth being ejected into space through Antarctica."
"Fortunately, it seems that neither Sol or Terra is actively malicious...
The Iron Bay
Local Community Protectors Repeatedly Struck By Lightning, Cape Involvement?
Over the last 72 hours, our community has been honorlessly attacked by an unknown cape. Upstanding members of society have been struck down without warning practically the instant they step outside. No declarations have been made, nor has anyone claimed credit for these shameful and unwarranted attacks.
Kaiser, Othala, Hookwolf, Krieg, and Crusader are all currently hospitalized in critical condition with injuries that may never fully heal, Othala in particular being comatose. Alabaster meanwhile has been struck by lightning over 200 times, and has developed acute agoraphobia as a result. A number of other daring warriors for community improvement have perished from their lighting-inflicted injuries, both powered and mundane.
Panacea has inexplicably refused to heal the injured members of...
The day after that incredibly bizarre funeral, Emma came over to Taylor's house. Walking up the pathway to the porch, she hopped over the busted step, and got ready to ring the doorbell. She didn't even need to, as Taylor opened the door and pulled Emma into a hug with a cheerful cry of "Emms! Good to have you over!"
In response, Emma happily replied "I'm really happy to see you too, T! Can I come in?"
Taylor released the hug then, gesturing towards the living room with a big smile on her face. Trotting over the shaggy carpet towards the couch, both friends were soon sitting down next to each other. After a few moments, Taylor broke the silence, noting "You're trying to figure out how to ask me about what happened yesterday, aren't you?"
Looking over at her friend's now blue-and-green hair, Emma nodded and said "Yeah. All of a sudden out of the blue you were saying something about being a planet, and now I can pretty clearly see continents in your hair. Then your mom suddenly got back up out of the coffin, glowing all over. Now I'm trying to figure out what that was all about."
Nodding, Taylor replied "So, the long and short of it is that Mom and I were never actually human in the first place, though until yesterday we weren't aware of this fact. We
are the Sun and Earth respectively, and have been since the beginning of the solar system. That said, we were asleep until yesterday; our human lives were basically us dreaming."
Frowning a bit, Emma couldn't help but ask "We're still friends, though, right?"
Immediately, Taylor confirmed "Yes, that wouldn't change in a million years!"
There was another awkward pause for several moments as Emma stared into Taylor's eyes. Then abruptly she threw her hands up in the air and called out "I'm best friends with a planet this is awesome I can't wait for all the cool things we'll get to do together!"
Smiling, Taylor got up from the couch and said "Yeah, I've got loads of stuff we could go see. Want to visit my Grand Canyon?"
Immediately, Emma nodded and answered "Would I ever! Just let me grab a water bottle first and... shouldn't we tell our parents first?"
In response, Taylor shook her head and replied "Like I'd ever let my geography hurt my best friend. Don't worry about it."
Nodding, Emma said "Let me get that water bottle real quick." before trotting off to the kitchen.
Thirty seconds later when her best friend had her bottle, Taylor asked "So, ready to go?"
Emma answered with a simple "Yes", bracing herself for whatever was about to happen.
Taylor nodded and ran her fingers through her hair. Emma saw the kitchen abruptly vanish around her as she felt a sensation a bit like what she imagined a chess piece felt when being picked up off the gameboard and put down somewhere else. Mere seconds later, she was standing on hard rocky ground overlooking the massive stratified geographical depression known as the Grand Canyon.
In response, all Emma could muster was a whispered "wow".
