Widget & Clank: Lombax Bebop - Veldin, Deep Space, Umbris, Mylon
Tangent
Crazy-Big Ideas!
- Location
- Pensylvania, United States
Location: The Phoenix, Kyzil Plateau Spaceport, Veldin
Time: 12:15 PM, Saturday
"Welcome back, Captain," Bleep greeted as everyone walked up the rear boarding ramp. "I see we have a couple of guests. Will they be joining us for lunch, or has everyone eaten?"
"Bleep, this is Grimroth Razz, adoptive father of Widget and Clank, and his brother, Felton, their uncle," Captain Qwark explained by way of introduction. "They'll be joining us at the main table."
"Very good, Captain." Turning his attention to the two large Fongoids, Bleep asked, "Do either of you have any preferences? I have access to recipes from across the known galaxies, including many which should prove to be quite appetizing to a Fongoid palette."
"I'm fine with whatever," Grim stated in a gruff but friendly manner.
"I'd actually like to try some Veldin cuisine while I'm here," Felton put in cheerfully.
"Y'know, we never did get a chance to try the local grub the last time we were here," Brax noted.
"Whattaya say, Widget?" Cora prompted. "Anything good we should try?"
Widget shrugged. "Galaxy Burger is good, I guess, but you can get that anywhere. I used to like Cosmic Crust Pizza until I left Veldin and got to try pizza from literally any other franchise and found out that the crust is supposed to actually taste like something. Before I moved in with Dad, I basically caught and ate whatever I could catch, and after he took me in it was whatever he bought from the market."
"Yeah, Grim really isn't much for variety," Felton agreed with a chuckle.
"I like variety just fine," Grim protested. "I just don't like shopping."
"Unless it's for machines, tools, or parts," Widget quipped.
"Yeah, that," Grim agreed with a grunt.
"Perhaps a Veldin style buffet then?" Bleep suggested, receiving various nods and noises of assent in return. "Very good, Sirs. I shall start preparing a suitable spread straight away." With that, Bleep flew off across the hangar bay and into one of the corridors at the far end.
"So…" Brax started, "Do we change out of our formals before or after we eat?"
"After," Quark replied. "We weren't wearing them that long, and it'll be good practice for those of us who are still unfamiliar with formal table etiquette."
"So pretty much everyone here except for Clank and myself," Dr. Nefarious noted dryly, eliciting a chuckle from Clank and Grimroth, roaring lighter from Felton, and various noises of indignation from nearly everyone else.
Widget found herself to be moderately surprised to find that Veldin apparently had a much wider variety of local cuisine than she was personally familiar with. Well, at least according to the table Bleep had prepared for everyone. And knowing Bleep, these were just the dishes considered to be appropriate lunch options on Veldin.
Sure, she had eaten a lot of the actual ingredients before, having done a lot of her own hunting and gathering for herself before ending up in Grim's care. She just hadn't been aware that there had been so many different ways to prepare them.
Feeling indecisive due to this discovery, Widget decided to just fill her plate with just a little bit of as many different dishes as she could fit onto it so she could try a wider variety of what were otherwise supposed to be familiar foods to her. And she already knew that she'd have to make a second, or maybe even a third, trip to the buffet table if she were to have any hope of completing that particular challenge. Assuming she could even eat that much in one go, or that Bleep wouldn't shoo her away from trying for thirds.
Problems that, she noted, were not shared by either Qwark or Brax, as the two of them were simply piling their trays high with substantial portions of everything available. Either tray alone appeared to weigh more than Widget thought she could manage to even lift without technological assistance once they were fully loaded.
For that matter, neither Grimroth's nor Felton's trays were much lighter, with the main difference being that they each took only a more reasonable portion from each platter at the buffet table.
Widget further noted that Cora, Elaris, and Doctor Nefarious all prepared plates with portions that more closely resembled her own, and that Clank had selected locally produced items that were suitable for a robot capable of oral consumption.
"You know, Qwark, you and Brax piling your trays so high defeats the purpose of formal etiquette training," Dr. Nefarious snarked as he sat down well away from the captain.
"What? I always do this at any event that has a buffet!" Quark replied with conviction. "I get to try everything, and I don't have to get up for seconds just to get more of something I happen to really like!"
"Yeah!" Brax agreed wholeheartedly.
"Um… What about wasting the food you don't like?" Elaris ventured hesitantly.
"I don't understand the question," Brax stated, looking at his tray in confusion.
"There are words coming out of your mouth that I feel mean something, but I do not comprehend what you are saying," Qwark added in a serious tone as he looked at Elaris.
"Stop hazing my assistant, Quark, you're setting a bad example for the recruits," Nefarious commented as he carefully began eating.
"Fine," Quark replied, right before grabbing something at random from his tray and shoving it into his mouth, then proceeding to chew it noisily.
"And that's another reason I get invited to formal events more often than you do," Nefarious remarked as he continued to eat at a much more sedate and controlled pace.
"This is how formal buffets are done on Floranna!" Qwark pointed out.
"Yeah, it's pretty much the same on my homeworld too," Brax agreed. "Mama always said to pile it high and eat as much as you can if you wanted to properly respect the host!"
"I just wanted to try everything without having to get up again," Felton stated nonchalantly as he ate from his own tray that had not been as severely overloaded as those of either Qwark or Brax. He was also eating at a more sedate rate, taking time to really savor the flavors as he ate.
"Yeah, pretty much the same here," Grim agreed. "Despite living on Veldin, I haven't actually had a lot of these before, and I figured I should before actually moving to Pokataru."
"Speaking of which, I got a couple of good locations lined up for you to look at when we arrive on Pokataru," Felton stated. "One's relatively close to where I work at the Jowai Resort, if a bit out of the way, while the other one is further out. The closer lot is owned by Tolo, but he's a reasonable guy and will probably let you rent to own if you don't want to just lease the property, but you should be able to just flat out buy the one further out if you want to make the commitment."
"I'll have to look both of them over, and maybe check out a few other lots as well to see which way I want to go," Grim added. "I like the idea of owning everything straight away, but a lot that's already zoned for commercial or industrial use probably already has hook ups for utilities, which would be a big help."
"Er, I didn't think to ask about utilities," Felton admitted.
"I would recommend the closer lot if utility hook ups are indeed present and up to code," Clank advised. "Pokataru is a resort world with a protected environment, so the initial installation and inspection of such features would be more expensive than on most other worlds. With those already in place, you would just need an inspection and perhaps minor maintenance before you could start setting up your new garage."
"Point," Grim agreed, "but if the lot's been inactive too long, the maintenance of those utilities might have lapsed. If that's the case, it'd be cheaper to just have everything set up from scratch anyway."
"I could help with that," Widget offered.
"As can I," Clank added.
"After you both go through the training course on Umbris," Quark stated firmly. "Once that's done, I'll give you both some time off and arrange for tickets and accommodations…"
"Don't bother with accommodations," Felton interrupted. "My niece and nephew can stay at my place along with Grim while they are on Pokataru. Assuming Grim doesn't already have his own place by then, but either way, they're all welcome to stay at my place for a while"
"Just some tickets and vouchers then," Qwark agreed.
Location: BlargTech Fleet, Deep Space
Time: 10:45 AM, Sunday
Supreme Executive Chairman Drek looked over the mission report that Victor Von Ion had forwarded to him concerning Warbot BT-2121 even as the bot in question stood before his desk awaiting review. "It says here that Victor assigned you to assist this… Spanner… in creating a distraction in order to draw the guard reinforcements away from the Iron Holds of Novalis."
"That is correct, Sir," BT-2121 replied (not yet having been granted permission to continue using the name Jack).
"And yet you abandoned your assigned partner to his fate upon completion of the mission. Please enlighten me as to your reasoning," Drek commanded menacingly.
"The contracted agent, Spanner, exhibited dangerously violent and unstable behavior during the course of the mission that raised the likelihood of his attacking you any time the two of you met in any situation to unacceptable levels. I deemed it necessary to burn him as an asset at the first suitable opportunity once the success of our part of the mission was assured."
"I see... I would have preferred to make that sort of judgement myself, but I suppose I should commend you for keeping my safety in mind. Very well. Your new designation is Blackjack, for the calculated risks you took, and you are hereby promoted to Paid Asset and assigned under Victor Von Ion for further training and duties. You may customize both yourself and the ship you captured as you see fit, within reason. I'm sure that Victor will provide advice and assistance if requested."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"Dismissed."
As the newly redesignated Blackjack left his office, Drek created a new employee file for the now 'liberated' bot. Granted, Blackjack was still technically BlargTech property, but now that he was actually drawing pay he would eventually reach a point where he could buy out his own contract like Victor had. Assuming, of course, that he didn't blow his income on maintenance, repairs, customization, and whatever else he now had the Bolts to waste on.
Victor would most likely guide Blackjack neither towards nor away from that particular hurdle, and if the newly 'liberated' warbot had the self discipline to buy out his contract sooner rather than later, Drek would be happy to increase his pay in order to retain his services at a higher rank. Until then, Blackjack would remain a Paid Asset, ultimately just as disposable as this… Spanner… had been.
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 5:00 AM, Monday
"I still don't see why you had to wake me up so early and not let me sleep on the way over," Widget complained, glaring at Captain Qwark as Dr. Nefarious carefully went over the special training version of her protosuit, which was mostly utilitarian gray with black and yellow trim.
"It's all part of the training," Qwark assured her as he landed the drop shuttle near the start of the training course. "Now, did anyone tell you anything about the Umbris training course?"
"Other than the fact that it exists, and that you have a Blargian Snagglebeast at the end of it as a final challenge, no," Widget replied.
"I was not given any further information either," Clank added as Dr. Nefarious fitted him with a plug-in device.
"Good," Nefarious stated. "The first run through this course is traditionally done as if it were an operation with minimal intel. Do not tell Elaris about the layout or any of the obstacles or challenges you come across, because she'll be going through this too if she ever decides to cross train out of her support role."
"But we were informed about the Blargian Snagglebeast you had acquired," Clank pointed out.
"Which you will be fighting after you rendezvous with Brax and Clara near the end of the course and Widget swaps her training protosuit with her regular one, and receives her regular A.S.S." Qwark informed them. "It would be irresponsible of me to let you face Mr. Cuddlewumpus alone or without proper weapons and armor for your first encounter with him!"
"That's not exactly reassuring," Widget commented nervously. "So, if you have my regular gear, what am I going to be using besides this mock-suit?"
"The mock-suit, as you call it, is a stripped down protosuit with special sensors and haptic feedback so you can feel sensations appropriate to the type of damage you might receive during your run through of the course," Dr. Nefarious explained. "It will also lock joints or enforce a limp state as appropriate, but I had to strip out a lot of the protective features in order to fit all of that in. Think of it as the ultimate live action Gamer's Gear if you like, as it's not at all suitable for actual combat but is fully capable of simulating the results of live combat well enough for training purposes.
"If, at any point, your training suit registers enough simulated damage of any type, it will force you to collapse and a couple of drones will retrieve you and return you to the start of the course. The plug-in I gave Clank does something similar for him - and both the suit and the plug-in will register if they are deactivated or removed for any reason, so leave them alone until you meet Brax and Cora! You can remove them at that time, not before!"
"Yes, Sir!" Both Widget and Clank agreed with firm nods.
"And you will be using whatever is in this!" Captain Qwark handed Widget a very cheap looking A.S.S. "Along with whatever weapons and tools you happen to come across during your run through!"
"What's in this?" Widget asked dubiously as she inspected the card shaped device, noting that it's case appeared to have been purposely replaced with poor quality plastic of some sort.
"You'll find out!" Quark stated jovially, then ushered the pair out of the back of the drop shuttle. "Now get out there and show us your stuff!" So saying, he stepped back into the shuttle, raised the ramp hatch, and took off, leaving Widget and Clank alone on a small, rocky spire with a landing pad set somewhat apart from a somewhat larger set of interconnected islands with noticeable platforms, bridges, and fortifications. Off in the distance, other rocky islands could be seen in all directions across the sea of mud.
"It appears that Qwark and Nefarious are landing behind the fortification on the far side of the nearby island cluster," Clank observed. "That is most likely our destination."
"Or at least where we need to get to if we want to leave Umbris," Widget agreed as she checked her assigned A.S.S. "Let's see… an ion blaster with no ammo, an Omniwrench 8000, and a basic swingshot. Not much to start with."
"Well, he did say that there would be weapons and tools that we could find along the way," Clank pointed out.
"I guess we'll just have to keep our eyes out for them," Widget stated. "Alright, let's get started!"
"It looks like we're supposed to take the zipline down to the start of that path," Clank observed.
"Yeah, but I see some crates right over there. There may be some stuff we can use in them. Why don't you take a better look at the course from here while I check to see what's in the crates?"
"Agreed."
A few minutes and several broken crates later, the two reviewed their findings with each other.
"Okay, I found just enough ammo to fully load the ion blaster I was given, what looks like part of a weapon or tool I can't identify yet (but is probably a tool because that's where it slotted when I put it in the A.S.S.), some sort of key card, a holocard of you with basic promotional details, and a collect-and-submit type voucher for a free pizza from Cosmic Crust Pizza."
"May I have those last two?"
"Sure," Widget shrugged, passing the card and voucher over. "Not sure why you want the pizza one though, since you can't eat it and I can no longer stand Cosmic Crust's crusts."
"I like collectables, and cards and vouchers are a convenient storage shape for now. Also, even if you no longer care for pizza from Cosmic Crust, I am fairly certain that either Qwark or Brax would appreciate a free pizza."
"Point," Widget conceded. "So, did you see anything new while I was getting this stuff?"
"I believe so, but the bulk of the training course is not visible from this location, so there is a hard limit to how much intel we can acquire from here with just the tools we have."
"Yeah, a camera drone or visibomb launcher would be pretty useful right now, but that doesn't matter since Qwark would have taken them away with the rest of my gear even if I had them in the first place."
"Still, it is something to keep in mind for future field missions."
"Yeah."
"Anyway, there seems to be some sort of movement on two of the bridges we can see from here, but it's difficult to tell what it might be. There are at least three bomb-o-matics that I'm certain that you already spotted, and I believe that disc near the base of the first building we will be passing may be a pop-up turret of some type, so it would be safe to assume that we will come across more of both as we progress through the course. The top of that cliff to the right seems to have some sort of chain link fence maze topped with coils of wire, but it's too difficult to tell from here what else might be there. Unfortunately, given the buildings, rock spires, and everything else in the way, nothing else can be determined until we get closer."
"And once we go down the zip-line, we're committed since we won't be able to come back up here with what we have on us right now."
"That was my thought as well."
"We may as well get started then. Ready to watch my back?"
"Anytime."
With that, Widget picked up Clank by an arm and swung him onto her back where he attached himself to the hardpoint couple, then jogged over to the zipline, jumped up, and swung the Omniwrench overtop of it to use as a handlebar as they slid down to the start of the first path...
Location: BlargTech Corporate Retreat Center, Mylon
Time: 7:30 AM, Monday
Mylon, or at least it's single moderately sized continent, was a heavily industrialized world, with innumerable factories owned by almost as many companies. The rampant, uncontrolled pollution resulting from all this unregulated industry had long since devastated the continental ecosystem to the point where only the scraggly weeds and scavengers remained on the mainland. Even those islands closest to the continent were effectively ruined, with only those farthest away (effectively on the other side of the planet) having anything close to their original pristine beauty.
BlargTech had a presence here, in the form of several relatively small factories producing consumer goods that simply couldn't be made on Orxon anymore for various reasons, all of which located on the mainland. They also had exactly one island facility on Mylon. Island 1,137, an extinct volcano with a caldera that had dropped below sea level and filled in to become an enclosed lagoon, wasn't one of the better islands, being a little too close to the outer edge of the spreading zone of pollution emanating from the mainland. On the other manipulating appendage, it was also far from the worst, and in either case BlargTech had acquired it cheaply and had built a company owned vacation resort known as the BlargTech Corporate Retreat Center.
It was here at the BlargTech Corporate Retreat that Victor Von ion had set up a temporary headquarters for the anti-hero team that Supreme Executive Chairman Drek had instructed him to form.
Victor Von Ion led the newly promoted warbot, Blackjack, from the executive landing pad jutting over the inside shore of the island where it hung over the still somewhat impressively scenic lagoon, and into a Blarg-made tunnel carved into the side of the ancient volcanic walls. A few corridors later, the two bots walked into a meeting room where Shiv Helix, the Stig, and Little Tony were waiting, with a Blarg in a purple valet uniform attending to their needs.
"Hey!" Shiv called out in greeting, having spotted the two bots first.
"I trust the accommodations have met your approval so far?" Victor asked.
"Heck yeah!" Little Tony enthused. "Games, good food, I got a big room all to myself that has a cot strong enough to hold my weight, free access to a killer gym, and Eddy here has been teaching me how to read!"
Eddy stumbled slightly as the oversized Cazar gave him a friendly but overly forceful pat on a shoulder. "It's… been a work in progress, Commander, but Mister Tony can now read Galactic Standard at a basic level."
"Very good," Victor nodded, sounding pleased. "Now we need some privacy, so you are dismissed for now. And get that shoulder seen to. I'll have a word with Little Tony later about taking care with handling minions."
"Thank you, Sir," Eddy said, before hastily leaving the room.
"Sorry 'bout that!" Little Tony called after him apologetically.
"I'll start you on egg exercises so you can learn to control that strength of yours," Victor stated bluntly. "But that's for later. This is Blackjack, formerly BT-2121, and now a Paid Asset of BlargTech. He will be joining your team for now."
"Whoa!" Helix exclaimed, impressed. "Congrats on the promotion, Blackjack, and welcome to the team!"
The Stig nodded in agreement.
"Uh, yeah," Little Tony added somewhat awkwardly.
"Now correct me if I'm wrong," Shiv started, "but ain't you the same bot that Vic here sent to Veldin with that Spanner asshole to cause a distraction?"
"That is correct," Blackjack responded evenly.
"Why'd you leave him behind to get captured?" Shiv asked. "Not that I'm complaining or anything - that guy just rubbed me the wrong way and gave me the willies the longer he was with us."
The Stig nodded in agreement once more.
"I deemed him to be too violent and unstable to be permitted anywhere near Supreme Executive Chairman Drek, so once the success of the mission was assured, I left him to his own devices."
"And he got promoted for it," Victor stated. "Do any of you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all!" Shiv denied, holding up his hands, as the Stig shook his head and Little Tony shrugged in indifference. "Shows good judgement, and I'd have probably done the same. Blackjack, huh? Hey, Vic, any objections to adding one more to the team?"
"Not as such, no. Who do you have in mind?"
"Well, him being named Blackjack reminded me of a merc I know from Eco who goes by Hooker. I don't know if that's her name or just her call sign, but she's pretty decent for having just started out, and I figure way more professional than that Spanner asshole was. That, and I can just see the marketing potential of pairing them together as Blackjack and Hooker once the main mission is over, so there's that too."
"Good points," Victor nodded. "Eco, you said? So she's an Econian?"
"Nah, she's an Ottsel, but don't let her size fool you - she can hold her own in a fight if she needs to. I still have her contact information if you're interested."
"Forward a copy to me and I'll give her a call."
"Eh, might be better if I called her first to let her know to expect your call…"
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 10:45 AM, Monday
"About time you and Big Guy got here, Commando," Cora snarked as a very filthy Widget and Clank trudged towards them, both being covered in grime, grease, and various colors of paint.
"What's with the sharkigator?" Brax asked, taking note of the semi-amphibious (and presumably very recently deceased) piscine monstrosity strapped to Widget's back next to the Omniwrench.
"Later - where's the bathroom?" Widget demanded urgently.
"Back down the hall you just came from and to the left, just past the locker rooms," Cora informed the stressed Lombax, who immediately rushed off to relieve a certain pressure.
"Don't our Protosuits come with waste management systems?" Brax asked, confused.
"Normally yes," Clank confirmed with a nod, "but it appears that in his haste to strip standard features to make room for specialized training systems, Doctor Nefarious mistakenly disconnected the automatic catheter."
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 11:00 AM, Monday
"You bypassed the bossfight," Captain Qwark complained as the four stood before him and Doctor Nefarious.
"I wouldn't say bypassed so much as negated," Nefarious disagreed.
"She threw a big fish at Mr. Cuddlewumpus and he ran off to eat it!" Qwark exclaimed.
"Shows resourcefulness and clever thinking," Nefarious noted.
"It'll be months before he's hungry enough to want to fight again!" Quark whined.
"Oh grow up," Nefarious snapped. "I don't know why you insist on live monsters anyway, when I can whip up a perfectly good warbot that would serve the same purpose."
"It just isn't the same!" Quark insisted.
Time: 12:15 PM, Saturday
"Welcome back, Captain," Bleep greeted as everyone walked up the rear boarding ramp. "I see we have a couple of guests. Will they be joining us for lunch, or has everyone eaten?"
"Bleep, this is Grimroth Razz, adoptive father of Widget and Clank, and his brother, Felton, their uncle," Captain Qwark explained by way of introduction. "They'll be joining us at the main table."
"Very good, Captain." Turning his attention to the two large Fongoids, Bleep asked, "Do either of you have any preferences? I have access to recipes from across the known galaxies, including many which should prove to be quite appetizing to a Fongoid palette."
"I'm fine with whatever," Grim stated in a gruff but friendly manner.
"I'd actually like to try some Veldin cuisine while I'm here," Felton put in cheerfully.
"Y'know, we never did get a chance to try the local grub the last time we were here," Brax noted.
"Whattaya say, Widget?" Cora prompted. "Anything good we should try?"
Widget shrugged. "Galaxy Burger is good, I guess, but you can get that anywhere. I used to like Cosmic Crust Pizza until I left Veldin and got to try pizza from literally any other franchise and found out that the crust is supposed to actually taste like something. Before I moved in with Dad, I basically caught and ate whatever I could catch, and after he took me in it was whatever he bought from the market."
"Yeah, Grim really isn't much for variety," Felton agreed with a chuckle.
"I like variety just fine," Grim protested. "I just don't like shopping."
"Unless it's for machines, tools, or parts," Widget quipped.
"Yeah, that," Grim agreed with a grunt.
"Perhaps a Veldin style buffet then?" Bleep suggested, receiving various nods and noises of assent in return. "Very good, Sirs. I shall start preparing a suitable spread straight away." With that, Bleep flew off across the hangar bay and into one of the corridors at the far end.
"So…" Brax started, "Do we change out of our formals before or after we eat?"
"After," Quark replied. "We weren't wearing them that long, and it'll be good practice for those of us who are still unfamiliar with formal table etiquette."
"So pretty much everyone here except for Clank and myself," Dr. Nefarious noted dryly, eliciting a chuckle from Clank and Grimroth, roaring lighter from Felton, and various noises of indignation from nearly everyone else.
O o O o O
Widget found herself to be moderately surprised to find that Veldin apparently had a much wider variety of local cuisine than she was personally familiar with. Well, at least according to the table Bleep had prepared for everyone. And knowing Bleep, these were just the dishes considered to be appropriate lunch options on Veldin.
Sure, she had eaten a lot of the actual ingredients before, having done a lot of her own hunting and gathering for herself before ending up in Grim's care. She just hadn't been aware that there had been so many different ways to prepare them.
Feeling indecisive due to this discovery, Widget decided to just fill her plate with just a little bit of as many different dishes as she could fit onto it so she could try a wider variety of what were otherwise supposed to be familiar foods to her. And she already knew that she'd have to make a second, or maybe even a third, trip to the buffet table if she were to have any hope of completing that particular challenge. Assuming she could even eat that much in one go, or that Bleep wouldn't shoo her away from trying for thirds.
Problems that, she noted, were not shared by either Qwark or Brax, as the two of them were simply piling their trays high with substantial portions of everything available. Either tray alone appeared to weigh more than Widget thought she could manage to even lift without technological assistance once they were fully loaded.
For that matter, neither Grimroth's nor Felton's trays were much lighter, with the main difference being that they each took only a more reasonable portion from each platter at the buffet table.
Widget further noted that Cora, Elaris, and Doctor Nefarious all prepared plates with portions that more closely resembled her own, and that Clank had selected locally produced items that were suitable for a robot capable of oral consumption.
"You know, Qwark, you and Brax piling your trays so high defeats the purpose of formal etiquette training," Dr. Nefarious snarked as he sat down well away from the captain.
"What? I always do this at any event that has a buffet!" Quark replied with conviction. "I get to try everything, and I don't have to get up for seconds just to get more of something I happen to really like!"
"Yeah!" Brax agreed wholeheartedly.
"Um… What about wasting the food you don't like?" Elaris ventured hesitantly.
"I don't understand the question," Brax stated, looking at his tray in confusion.
"There are words coming out of your mouth that I feel mean something, but I do not comprehend what you are saying," Qwark added in a serious tone as he looked at Elaris.
"Stop hazing my assistant, Quark, you're setting a bad example for the recruits," Nefarious commented as he carefully began eating.
"Fine," Quark replied, right before grabbing something at random from his tray and shoving it into his mouth, then proceeding to chew it noisily.
"And that's another reason I get invited to formal events more often than you do," Nefarious remarked as he continued to eat at a much more sedate and controlled pace.
"This is how formal buffets are done on Floranna!" Qwark pointed out.
"Yeah, it's pretty much the same on my homeworld too," Brax agreed. "Mama always said to pile it high and eat as much as you can if you wanted to properly respect the host!"
"I just wanted to try everything without having to get up again," Felton stated nonchalantly as he ate from his own tray that had not been as severely overloaded as those of either Qwark or Brax. He was also eating at a more sedate rate, taking time to really savor the flavors as he ate.
"Yeah, pretty much the same here," Grim agreed. "Despite living on Veldin, I haven't actually had a lot of these before, and I figured I should before actually moving to Pokataru."
"Speaking of which, I got a couple of good locations lined up for you to look at when we arrive on Pokataru," Felton stated. "One's relatively close to where I work at the Jowai Resort, if a bit out of the way, while the other one is further out. The closer lot is owned by Tolo, but he's a reasonable guy and will probably let you rent to own if you don't want to just lease the property, but you should be able to just flat out buy the one further out if you want to make the commitment."
"I'll have to look both of them over, and maybe check out a few other lots as well to see which way I want to go," Grim added. "I like the idea of owning everything straight away, but a lot that's already zoned for commercial or industrial use probably already has hook ups for utilities, which would be a big help."
"Er, I didn't think to ask about utilities," Felton admitted.
"I would recommend the closer lot if utility hook ups are indeed present and up to code," Clank advised. "Pokataru is a resort world with a protected environment, so the initial installation and inspection of such features would be more expensive than on most other worlds. With those already in place, you would just need an inspection and perhaps minor maintenance before you could start setting up your new garage."
"Point," Grim agreed, "but if the lot's been inactive too long, the maintenance of those utilities might have lapsed. If that's the case, it'd be cheaper to just have everything set up from scratch anyway."
"I could help with that," Widget offered.
"As can I," Clank added.
"After you both go through the training course on Umbris," Quark stated firmly. "Once that's done, I'll give you both some time off and arrange for tickets and accommodations…"
"Don't bother with accommodations," Felton interrupted. "My niece and nephew can stay at my place along with Grim while they are on Pokataru. Assuming Grim doesn't already have his own place by then, but either way, they're all welcome to stay at my place for a while"
"Just some tickets and vouchers then," Qwark agreed.
O o O o O
Location: BlargTech Fleet, Deep Space
Time: 10:45 AM, Sunday
Supreme Executive Chairman Drek looked over the mission report that Victor Von Ion had forwarded to him concerning Warbot BT-2121 even as the bot in question stood before his desk awaiting review. "It says here that Victor assigned you to assist this… Spanner… in creating a distraction in order to draw the guard reinforcements away from the Iron Holds of Novalis."
"That is correct, Sir," BT-2121 replied (not yet having been granted permission to continue using the name Jack).
"And yet you abandoned your assigned partner to his fate upon completion of the mission. Please enlighten me as to your reasoning," Drek commanded menacingly.
"The contracted agent, Spanner, exhibited dangerously violent and unstable behavior during the course of the mission that raised the likelihood of his attacking you any time the two of you met in any situation to unacceptable levels. I deemed it necessary to burn him as an asset at the first suitable opportunity once the success of our part of the mission was assured."
"I see... I would have preferred to make that sort of judgement myself, but I suppose I should commend you for keeping my safety in mind. Very well. Your new designation is Blackjack, for the calculated risks you took, and you are hereby promoted to Paid Asset and assigned under Victor Von Ion for further training and duties. You may customize both yourself and the ship you captured as you see fit, within reason. I'm sure that Victor will provide advice and assistance if requested."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"Dismissed."
As the newly redesignated Blackjack left his office, Drek created a new employee file for the now 'liberated' bot. Granted, Blackjack was still technically BlargTech property, but now that he was actually drawing pay he would eventually reach a point where he could buy out his own contract like Victor had. Assuming, of course, that he didn't blow his income on maintenance, repairs, customization, and whatever else he now had the Bolts to waste on.
Victor would most likely guide Blackjack neither towards nor away from that particular hurdle, and if the newly 'liberated' warbot had the self discipline to buy out his contract sooner rather than later, Drek would be happy to increase his pay in order to retain his services at a higher rank. Until then, Blackjack would remain a Paid Asset, ultimately just as disposable as this… Spanner… had been.
O o O o O
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 5:00 AM, Monday
"I still don't see why you had to wake me up so early and not let me sleep on the way over," Widget complained, glaring at Captain Qwark as Dr. Nefarious carefully went over the special training version of her protosuit, which was mostly utilitarian gray with black and yellow trim.
"It's all part of the training," Qwark assured her as he landed the drop shuttle near the start of the training course. "Now, did anyone tell you anything about the Umbris training course?"
"Other than the fact that it exists, and that you have a Blargian Snagglebeast at the end of it as a final challenge, no," Widget replied.
"I was not given any further information either," Clank added as Dr. Nefarious fitted him with a plug-in device.
"Good," Nefarious stated. "The first run through this course is traditionally done as if it were an operation with minimal intel. Do not tell Elaris about the layout or any of the obstacles or challenges you come across, because she'll be going through this too if she ever decides to cross train out of her support role."
"But we were informed about the Blargian Snagglebeast you had acquired," Clank pointed out.
"Which you will be fighting after you rendezvous with Brax and Clara near the end of the course and Widget swaps her training protosuit with her regular one, and receives her regular A.S.S." Qwark informed them. "It would be irresponsible of me to let you face Mr. Cuddlewumpus alone or without proper weapons and armor for your first encounter with him!"
"That's not exactly reassuring," Widget commented nervously. "So, if you have my regular gear, what am I going to be using besides this mock-suit?"
"The mock-suit, as you call it, is a stripped down protosuit with special sensors and haptic feedback so you can feel sensations appropriate to the type of damage you might receive during your run through of the course," Dr. Nefarious explained. "It will also lock joints or enforce a limp state as appropriate, but I had to strip out a lot of the protective features in order to fit all of that in. Think of it as the ultimate live action Gamer's Gear if you like, as it's not at all suitable for actual combat but is fully capable of simulating the results of live combat well enough for training purposes.
"If, at any point, your training suit registers enough simulated damage of any type, it will force you to collapse and a couple of drones will retrieve you and return you to the start of the course. The plug-in I gave Clank does something similar for him - and both the suit and the plug-in will register if they are deactivated or removed for any reason, so leave them alone until you meet Brax and Cora! You can remove them at that time, not before!"
"Yes, Sir!" Both Widget and Clank agreed with firm nods.
"And you will be using whatever is in this!" Captain Qwark handed Widget a very cheap looking A.S.S. "Along with whatever weapons and tools you happen to come across during your run through!"
"What's in this?" Widget asked dubiously as she inspected the card shaped device, noting that it's case appeared to have been purposely replaced with poor quality plastic of some sort.
"You'll find out!" Quark stated jovially, then ushered the pair out of the back of the drop shuttle. "Now get out there and show us your stuff!" So saying, he stepped back into the shuttle, raised the ramp hatch, and took off, leaving Widget and Clank alone on a small, rocky spire with a landing pad set somewhat apart from a somewhat larger set of interconnected islands with noticeable platforms, bridges, and fortifications. Off in the distance, other rocky islands could be seen in all directions across the sea of mud.
"It appears that Qwark and Nefarious are landing behind the fortification on the far side of the nearby island cluster," Clank observed. "That is most likely our destination."
"Or at least where we need to get to if we want to leave Umbris," Widget agreed as she checked her assigned A.S.S. "Let's see… an ion blaster with no ammo, an Omniwrench 8000, and a basic swingshot. Not much to start with."
"Well, he did say that there would be weapons and tools that we could find along the way," Clank pointed out.
"I guess we'll just have to keep our eyes out for them," Widget stated. "Alright, let's get started!"
"It looks like we're supposed to take the zipline down to the start of that path," Clank observed.
"Yeah, but I see some crates right over there. There may be some stuff we can use in them. Why don't you take a better look at the course from here while I check to see what's in the crates?"
"Agreed."
A few minutes and several broken crates later, the two reviewed their findings with each other.
"Okay, I found just enough ammo to fully load the ion blaster I was given, what looks like part of a weapon or tool I can't identify yet (but is probably a tool because that's where it slotted when I put it in the A.S.S.), some sort of key card, a holocard of you with basic promotional details, and a collect-and-submit type voucher for a free pizza from Cosmic Crust Pizza."
"May I have those last two?"
"Sure," Widget shrugged, passing the card and voucher over. "Not sure why you want the pizza one though, since you can't eat it and I can no longer stand Cosmic Crust's crusts."
"I like collectables, and cards and vouchers are a convenient storage shape for now. Also, even if you no longer care for pizza from Cosmic Crust, I am fairly certain that either Qwark or Brax would appreciate a free pizza."
"Point," Widget conceded. "So, did you see anything new while I was getting this stuff?"
"I believe so, but the bulk of the training course is not visible from this location, so there is a hard limit to how much intel we can acquire from here with just the tools we have."
"Yeah, a camera drone or visibomb launcher would be pretty useful right now, but that doesn't matter since Qwark would have taken them away with the rest of my gear even if I had them in the first place."
"Still, it is something to keep in mind for future field missions."
"Yeah."
"Anyway, there seems to be some sort of movement on two of the bridges we can see from here, but it's difficult to tell what it might be. There are at least three bomb-o-matics that I'm certain that you already spotted, and I believe that disc near the base of the first building we will be passing may be a pop-up turret of some type, so it would be safe to assume that we will come across more of both as we progress through the course. The top of that cliff to the right seems to have some sort of chain link fence maze topped with coils of wire, but it's too difficult to tell from here what else might be there. Unfortunately, given the buildings, rock spires, and everything else in the way, nothing else can be determined until we get closer."
"And once we go down the zip-line, we're committed since we won't be able to come back up here with what we have on us right now."
"That was my thought as well."
"We may as well get started then. Ready to watch my back?"
"Anytime."
With that, Widget picked up Clank by an arm and swung him onto her back where he attached himself to the hardpoint couple, then jogged over to the zipline, jumped up, and swung the Omniwrench overtop of it to use as a handlebar as they slid down to the start of the first path...
O o O o O
Location: BlargTech Corporate Retreat Center, Mylon
Time: 7:30 AM, Monday
Mylon, or at least it's single moderately sized continent, was a heavily industrialized world, with innumerable factories owned by almost as many companies. The rampant, uncontrolled pollution resulting from all this unregulated industry had long since devastated the continental ecosystem to the point where only the scraggly weeds and scavengers remained on the mainland. Even those islands closest to the continent were effectively ruined, with only those farthest away (effectively on the other side of the planet) having anything close to their original pristine beauty.
BlargTech had a presence here, in the form of several relatively small factories producing consumer goods that simply couldn't be made on Orxon anymore for various reasons, all of which located on the mainland. They also had exactly one island facility on Mylon. Island 1,137, an extinct volcano with a caldera that had dropped below sea level and filled in to become an enclosed lagoon, wasn't one of the better islands, being a little too close to the outer edge of the spreading zone of pollution emanating from the mainland. On the other manipulating appendage, it was also far from the worst, and in either case BlargTech had acquired it cheaply and had built a company owned vacation resort known as the BlargTech Corporate Retreat Center.
It was here at the BlargTech Corporate Retreat that Victor Von ion had set up a temporary headquarters for the anti-hero team that Supreme Executive Chairman Drek had instructed him to form.
Victor Von Ion led the newly promoted warbot, Blackjack, from the executive landing pad jutting over the inside shore of the island where it hung over the still somewhat impressively scenic lagoon, and into a Blarg-made tunnel carved into the side of the ancient volcanic walls. A few corridors later, the two bots walked into a meeting room where Shiv Helix, the Stig, and Little Tony were waiting, with a Blarg in a purple valet uniform attending to their needs.
"Hey!" Shiv called out in greeting, having spotted the two bots first.
"I trust the accommodations have met your approval so far?" Victor asked.
"Heck yeah!" Little Tony enthused. "Games, good food, I got a big room all to myself that has a cot strong enough to hold my weight, free access to a killer gym, and Eddy here has been teaching me how to read!"
Eddy stumbled slightly as the oversized Cazar gave him a friendly but overly forceful pat on a shoulder. "It's… been a work in progress, Commander, but Mister Tony can now read Galactic Standard at a basic level."
"Very good," Victor nodded, sounding pleased. "Now we need some privacy, so you are dismissed for now. And get that shoulder seen to. I'll have a word with Little Tony later about taking care with handling minions."
"Thank you, Sir," Eddy said, before hastily leaving the room.
"Sorry 'bout that!" Little Tony called after him apologetically.
"I'll start you on egg exercises so you can learn to control that strength of yours," Victor stated bluntly. "But that's for later. This is Blackjack, formerly BT-2121, and now a Paid Asset of BlargTech. He will be joining your team for now."
"Whoa!" Helix exclaimed, impressed. "Congrats on the promotion, Blackjack, and welcome to the team!"
The Stig nodded in agreement.
"Uh, yeah," Little Tony added somewhat awkwardly.
"Now correct me if I'm wrong," Shiv started, "but ain't you the same bot that Vic here sent to Veldin with that Spanner asshole to cause a distraction?"
"That is correct," Blackjack responded evenly.
"Why'd you leave him behind to get captured?" Shiv asked. "Not that I'm complaining or anything - that guy just rubbed me the wrong way and gave me the willies the longer he was with us."
The Stig nodded in agreement once more.
"I deemed him to be too violent and unstable to be permitted anywhere near Supreme Executive Chairman Drek, so once the success of the mission was assured, I left him to his own devices."
"And he got promoted for it," Victor stated. "Do any of you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all!" Shiv denied, holding up his hands, as the Stig shook his head and Little Tony shrugged in indifference. "Shows good judgement, and I'd have probably done the same. Blackjack, huh? Hey, Vic, any objections to adding one more to the team?"
"Not as such, no. Who do you have in mind?"
"Well, him being named Blackjack reminded me of a merc I know from Eco who goes by Hooker. I don't know if that's her name or just her call sign, but she's pretty decent for having just started out, and I figure way more professional than that Spanner asshole was. That, and I can just see the marketing potential of pairing them together as Blackjack and Hooker once the main mission is over, so there's that too."
"Good points," Victor nodded. "Eco, you said? So she's an Econian?"
"Nah, she's an Ottsel, but don't let her size fool you - she can hold her own in a fight if she needs to. I still have her contact information if you're interested."
"Forward a copy to me and I'll give her a call."
"Eh, might be better if I called her first to let her know to expect your call…"
O o O o O
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 10:45 AM, Monday
"About time you and Big Guy got here, Commando," Cora snarked as a very filthy Widget and Clank trudged towards them, both being covered in grime, grease, and various colors of paint.
"What's with the sharkigator?" Brax asked, taking note of the semi-amphibious (and presumably very recently deceased) piscine monstrosity strapped to Widget's back next to the Omniwrench.
"Later - where's the bathroom?" Widget demanded urgently.
"Back down the hall you just came from and to the left, just past the locker rooms," Cora informed the stressed Lombax, who immediately rushed off to relieve a certain pressure.
"Don't our Protosuits come with waste management systems?" Brax asked, confused.
"Normally yes," Clank confirmed with a nod, "but it appears that in his haste to strip standard features to make room for specialized training systems, Doctor Nefarious mistakenly disconnected the automatic catheter."
O o O o O
Location: The Galactic Rangers Advanced Training Facility, Umbris
Time: 11:00 AM, Monday
"You bypassed the bossfight," Captain Qwark complained as the four stood before him and Doctor Nefarious.
"I wouldn't say bypassed so much as negated," Nefarious disagreed.
"She threw a big fish at Mr. Cuddlewumpus and he ran off to eat it!" Qwark exclaimed.
"Shows resourcefulness and clever thinking," Nefarious noted.
"It'll be months before he's hungry enough to want to fight again!" Quark whined.
"Oh grow up," Nefarious snapped. "I don't know why you insist on live monsters anyway, when I can whip up a perfectly good warbot that would serve the same purpose."
"It just isn't the same!" Quark insisted.
PLANETARY LEXICON
Mylon
Galaxy: Solana Galaxy
Population: Heavy, varied races.
Spaceports: Numerous and unregulated (all amenities available - just not at every spaceport)
Major Imports: Materials and consumables
Major Exports: Just about anything that can be manufactured cheaply in unregulated factories on a world where the environment has yet to fully tank into complete toxicity...
Mylon is one of those worlds that serve as an example of what can happen without any regulatory oversight whatsoever over... well, pretty much any industry at all, really. While no where near as bad as Orxon (yet), Mylon's native ecological systems are well on their way to complete collapse, with speculation that this will happen sometime within the next standard decade or so.
So of course Blargtech has a major recreational facility here...
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