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What's the most Cringeworthy Alternate History you've ever read?

A one way Soviet atomic strike was quite plausible in the 1950s, even more so if the bombers were accompanied by refueling aircraft. Due to flaws in the air defense and coordination systems at the time few Soviet bombers would have been brought down by Canadian and American air defenses. NORAD wasn't established until 1956 and not even the Pinetree Line was operational. The American air defense effort would have been coordinated out of Ent Air Force Base using World War II methods:

Information about potential hostile aircraft from radar sites around the country was forwarded to a regional clearinghouse, like Otis Air National Guard Base, and then to ADC headquarters at Ent Air Force Base. It was then plotted on the world's largest Plexiglas board. Enemy bombers progress was tracked on the board using grease pencils. If there was a potential threat, interceptor aircraft were scrambled to the target. Because this process was cumbersome, it made a rapid response unattainable.
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This is where the line would start if Pinetree was online:

 
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Dark Mage said:
"And the Democrats conspired with Russian Intelligence to create a dossier against him . . ."
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Hillary Clinton, Barack HUSSEIN Obama, George Soros, and Vladimir Putin are sitting around a table in a dark, opulent room. A cauldron of baby blood simmers on a nearby stove, stirred by a slave laborer from one of the Democrats' urban plantations (what the ignorant call public schools)

For a time they sit in companionable silence, sipping glasses of warm blood and enjoying each others' company. This reverie is broken as Hillary begins to cough and shake uncontrollably. It's time for her medicine. The rest look away respectfully as Huma Abedin quietly enters the room with a syringe of stem cells from fresh abortions, purchased from Planned Parenthood, and gives Hillary her injection.

Once the shakes subside, she finally speaks in a shrill, unpleasantly female voice, bringing the meeting to order.

"Gentlemen, our plan is progressing well. Caliph Baghdadi's plan to infiltrate fighters into Europe and America disguised as "refugees" is working perfectly. Already many have recruited others to their cause, and better yet, some have begun to breed with white women to dilute the aryan blood. And thanks to Comrade-Mullah Obama's effective race hustling operation, the islamicization of America has made great strides. And Elder Soros's financial contributions have made our re-election guaranteed thanks to the Obama-phones we have given to every minority in America"

Obama interrupts. "Uh, let me be clear. While we have made great strides, I am worried about the 2016 election. For all our efforts, and despite Paul Ryan's support, that dogged faction of the Republicans led by Trump, Ted Cruz, and Seb Gorka continues to pursue their investigations. They could bring everything down around us if left unchecked"

Soros shrugs, jewishly. "What does it matter? My people can simply fabricate evidence of crimes like corruption and sexual assault. It's how we took down that proud conservative warrior Dennis Hastert, after all."

Clinton, Obama, and Soros sneer and begin to congratulate each other. But Putin, silent until now, finally speaks up

"Comrades, Trump and Gorka are too powerful for old tactics to work. We must think of new ways to defeat them, and I believe I have a plan. We let Trump win." The others around the table listen in rapt attention, in awe of the intelligence of the only white man of undiluted blood in the room.

Obama interrupts. "But the Republicans already control the Senate and House. Even if some are our RINO allies like Paul Ryan, they came so close to uncovering the truth about Benghazi. Imagine what else they could find"

Putin shakes his head. "Think about it. If we let them win, we can use our deep state networks to undermine them even more effectively. In fact, my KGB will even help him win." He continues faster, clearly warming to the idea. "We don't just let them win the White House - we use Mr. Soros's Jewish-owned media to help him even further, and we help the Republicans win everything. Even the supreme court - if Alito suffers a little accident, the rest will fall in line. Once they think they have won control of the government, we unleash our secret weapons. Fake News, the Deep State, our cartel connections, our MS-13 super soldiers, and especially the dossier that Mr. Soros's people can fabricate"

Putin smiles. "They will think they have won everything, but it will be their doom. The last spot of resistance to our rule will be eliminated by the deep state, and we can finally complete the destruction of the West. The Homo-Islamo-Fascist Communist revolution will finally reach its conclusion, and there will be nobody to stop us"
 
bigseb31213 said:
Hillary Clinton, Barack HUSSEIN Obama, George Soros, and Vladimir Putin are sitting around a table in a dark, opulent room. A cauldron of baby blood simmers on a nearby stove, stirred by a slave laborer from one of the Democrats' urban plantations (what the ignorant call public schools)

For a time they sit in companionable silence, sipping glasses of warm blood and enjoying each others' company. This reverie is broken as Hillary begins to cough and shake uncontrollably. It's time for her medicine. The rest look away respectfully as Huma Abedin quietly enters the room with a syringe of stem cells from fresh abortions, purchased from Planned Parenthood, and gives Hillary her injection.

Once the shakes subside, she finally speaks in a shrill, unpleasantly female voice, bringing the meeting to order.

"Gentlemen, our plan is progressing well. Caliph Baghdadi's plan to infiltrate fighters into Europe and America disguised as "refugees" is working perfectly. Already many have recruited others to their cause, and better yet, some have begun to breed with white women to dilute the aryan blood. And thanks to Comrade-Mullah Obama's effective race hustling operation, the islamicization of America has made great strides. And Elder Soros's financial contributions have made our re-election guaranteed thanks to the Obama-phones we have given to every minority in America"

Obama interrupts. "Uh, let me be clear. While we have made great strides, I am worried about the 2016 election. For all our efforts, and despite Paul Ryan's support, that dogged faction of the Republicans led by Trump, Ted Cruz, and Seb Gorka continues to pursue their investigations. They could bring everything down around us if left unchecked"

Soros shrugs, jewishly. "What does it matter? My people can simply fabricate evidence of crimes like corruption and sexual assault. It's how we took down that proud conservative warrior Dennis Hastert, after all."

Clinton, Obama, and Soros sneer and begin to congratulate each other. But Putin, silent until now, finally speaks up

"Comrades, Trump and Gorka are too powerful for old tactics to work. We must think of new ways to defeat them, and I believe I have a plan. We let Trump win." The others around the table listen in rapt attention, in awe of the intelligence of the only white man of undiluted blood in the room.

Obama interrupts. "But the Republicans already control the Senate and House. Even if some are our RINO allies like Paul Ryan, they came so close to uncovering the truth about Benghazi. Imagine what else they could find"

Putin shakes his head. "Think about it. If we let them win, we can use our deep state networks to undermine them even more effectively. In fact, my KGB will even help him win." He continues faster, clearly warming to the idea. "We don't just let them win the White House - we use Mr. Soros's Jewish-owned media to help him even further, and we help the Republicans win everything. Even the supreme court - if Alito suffers a little accident, the rest will fall in line. Once they think they have won control of the government, we unleash our secret weapons. Fake News, the Deep State, our cartel connections, our MS-13 super soldiers, and especially the dossier that Mr. Soros's people can fabricate"

Putin smiles. "They will think they have won everything, but it will be their doom. The last spot of resistance to our rule will be eliminated by the deep state, and we can finally complete the destruction of the West. The Homo-Islamo-Fascist Communist revolution will finally reach its conclusion, and there will be nobody to stop us"
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My god.

This... this is perfect. :D
 
bigseb31213 said:
Hillary Clinton, Barack HUSSEIN Obama, George Soros, and Vladimir Putin are sitting around a table in a dark, opulent room. A cauldron of baby blood simmers on a nearby stove, stirred by a slave laborer from one of the Democrats' urban plantations (what the ignorant call public schools)

For a time they sit in companionable silence, sipping glasses of warm blood and enjoying each others' company. This reverie is broken as Hillary begins to cough and shake uncontrollably. It's time for her medicine. The rest look away respectfully as Huma Abedin quietly enters the room with a syringe of stem cells from fresh abortions, purchased from Planned Parenthood, and gives Hillary her injection.

Once the shakes subside, she finally speaks in a shrill, unpleasantly female voice, bringing the meeting to order.

"Gentlemen, our plan is progressing well. Caliph Baghdadi's plan to infiltrate fighters into Europe and America disguised as "refugees" is working perfectly. Already many have recruited others to their cause, and better yet, some have begun to breed with white women to dilute the aryan blood. And thanks to Comrade-Mullah Obama's effective race hustling operation, the islamicization of America has made great strides. And Elder Soros's financial contributions have made our re-election guaranteed thanks to the Obama-phones we have given to every minority in America"

Obama interrupts. "Uh, let me be clear. While we have made great strides, I am worried about the 2016 election. For all our efforts, and despite Paul Ryan's support, that dogged faction of the Republicans led by Trump, Ted Cruz, and Seb Gorka continues to pursue their investigations. They could bring everything down around us if left unchecked"

Soros shrugs, jewishly. "What does it matter? My people can simply fabricate evidence of crimes like corruption and sexual assault. It's how we took down that proud conservative warrior Dennis Hastert, after all."

Clinton, Obama, and Soros sneer and begin to congratulate each other. But Putin, silent until now, finally speaks up

"Comrades, Trump and Gorka are too powerful for old tactics to work. We must think of new ways to defeat them, and I believe I have a plan. We let Trump win." The others around the table listen in rapt attention, in awe of the intelligence of the only white man of undiluted blood in the room.

Obama interrupts. "But the Republicans already control the Senate and House. Even if some are our RINO allies like Paul Ryan, they came so close to uncovering the truth about Benghazi. Imagine what else they could find"

Putin shakes his head. "Think about it. If we let them win, we can use our deep state networks to undermine them even more effectively. In fact, my KGB will even help him win." He continues faster, clearly warming to the idea. "We don't just let them win the White House - we use Mr. Soros's Jewish-owned media to help him even further, and we help the Republicans win everything. Even the supreme court - if Alito suffers a little accident, the rest will fall in line. Once they think they have won control of the government, we unleash our secret weapons. Fake News, the Deep State, our cartel connections, our MS-13 super soldiers, and especially the dossier that Mr. Soros's people can fabricate"

Putin smiles. "They will think they have won everything, but it will be their doom. The last spot of resistance to our rule will be eliminated by the deep state, and we can finally complete the destruction of the West. The Homo-Islamo-Fascist Communist revolution will finally reach its conclusion, and there will be nobody to stop us"
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You win. No other AH will top this. We must now bow before the Master...
 
Aside from the blatantly stupid AH's, the worst (re: most disappointing) story I've read is undoubtably New Deal Coalition Retained. From it's clickbait title to it's Far-Right dogwhistles, from it's blatant Liberalscrew fantasies (I'M LOOKING AT YOU JANE FONDA UPDATE) to it's moronic understanding of how diseases work (Marburg Virus) the whole timeline was just so... Disappointingly shallow. The fact that much of it's community had a fetish for "Free Helicopter Rides" memes (likely compensating for the fact that they were dropped on their heads from helicopters as children) and their vicious attacks on anyone who had a slight criticism of the TL just made it an absolute dumpster fire.
 
Yeah, we've gone over that before. I even made the point of the clickbait title making one think it's a liberal timeline only for ALTRIGHT MEMES FOR DAYZ.


(meanwhile, this is more of a peeve than a specific timeline, but I really don't like the popularity of dystopias. When I see someone post a thread going 'how do I make WW2 darker/worse' I just think 'my god, are you people sadists? Wasn't it bad enough already?'.

I blame AANW for a lot of that, at least in WW2 stuff)
 
Skywalker_T-65 said:
Yeah, we've gone over that before. I even made the point of the clickbait title making one think it's a liberal timeline only for ALTRIGHT MEMES FOR DAYZ.


(meanwhile, this is more of a peeve than a specific timeline, but I really don't like the popularity of dystopias. When I see someone post a thread going 'how do I make WW2 darker/worse' I just think 'my god, are you people sadists? Wasn't it bad enough already?'.

I blame AANW for a lot of that, at least in WW2 stuff)
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Dystopias really are low-hanging fruit. They're just so easy to envisage with just a few small changes, yet somehow the TLs which set out to be dystopian always end up jumping the shark pretty quickly.
 
Zinc Saucier said:
Aside from the blatantly stupid AH's, the worst (re: most disappointing) story I've read is undoubtably New Deal Coalition Retained. From it's clickbait title to it's Far-Right dogwhistles, from it's blatant Liberalscrew fantasies (I'M LOOKING AT YOU JANE FONDA UPDATE) to it's moronic understanding of how diseases work (Marburg Virus) the whole timeline was just so... Disappointingly shallow. The fact that much of it's community had a fetish for "Free Helicopter Rides" memes (likely compensating for the fact that they were dropped on their heads from helicopters as children) and their vicious attacks on anyone who had a slight criticism of the TL just made it an absolute dumpster fire.
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You write like it's over - it's still alive and kicking. There's a Part III that fans are working on and it's terrible. Maybe more so than the original 2. Pat Buchanan is now a Pro-Black figure - albeit on their terms. And by "on their terms" I mean Pat Buchanan is still against Federal spending but black people like it this time.
 
TransUral Empire said:
You write like it's over - it's still alive and kicking. There's a Part III that fans are working on and it's terrible. Maybe more so than the original 2. Pat Buchanan is now a Pro-Black figure - albeit on their terms. And by "on their terms" I mean Pat Buchanan is still against Federal spending but black people like it this time.
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Why are blacks against Federal spending in that timeline?
 
Silent Runner said:
And this is coming from the same timeline that had Ronald Reagan being in favor of universal healthcare.
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Ok, to be fair, that's at least plausible. Not likely, but plausible. It wasn't all that long ago that the GOP was the party pushing for Universal Healthcare. I could see Reagan advocating for it as a sop to Moderate and Liberal Republicans. Or doing it in exchange for support on a different program in a quid pro quo.
 
TransUral Empire said:
You write like it's over - it's still alive and kicking. There's a Part III that fans are working on and it's terrible. Maybe more so than the original 2. Pat Buchanan is now a Pro-Black figure - albeit on their terms. And by "on their terms" I mean Pat Buchanan is still against Federal spending but black people like it this time.
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As I've noted elsewhere, the continuation of "Queen Nixon in 'Nelson Mandela 4 Aparthed'", "Queen Nixon in 'Pinochet Takes a Helicopter Ride'" boasts of being even sloppier than the original, largely because it's a collaborative effort.
 
SSgtC said:
Ok, to be fair, that's at least plausible. Not likely, but plausible. It wasn't all that long ago that the GOP was the party pushing for Universal Healthcare. I could see Reagan advocating for it as a sop to Moderate and Liberal Republicans. Or doing it in exchange for support on a different program in a quid pro quo.
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IIRC, universal healthcare was established ITTL during the presidency of George Wallace and Reagan simply decided not to mess with it.
 
Silent Runner said:
IIRC, universal healthcare was established ITTL during the presidency of George Wallace and Reagan simply decided not to mess with it.
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Gotcha. I've never read the TL in question, so wasn't sure how it was portrayed. I don't really see how people would have a problem with that then. It's very rare for an Administration to eliminate benefits after they've already been given and people are used to them.
 
SSgtC said:
Gotcha. I've never read the TL in question, so wasn't sure how it was portrayed. I don't really see how people would have a problem with that then. It's very rare for an Administration to eliminate benefits after they've already been given and people are used to them.
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That's definitely not the main problem people have with the TL. The start is interesting, even if it's wanking conservatives by giving them both of the main parties. Dystopian for everyone but the fanbase. It goes downhill from there, between trying to redeem every scummy figure in history for extra shock value and completely nonsensical international updates.
 
SSgtC said:
Gotcha. I've never read the TL in question, so wasn't sure how it was portrayed. I don't really see how people would have a problem with that then. It's very rare for an Administration to eliminate benefits after they've already been given and people are used to them.
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Even in OTL Reagan did a lot of things that would piss off modern-day right-wingers. This pic sums it up.

Nyvis said:
The start is interesting, even if it's wanking conservatives by giving them both of the main parties.
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At least the brand of conservatism embraced by the Democrats is closer to the teachings of Jesus than the Social Darwinism embraced by OTL and TTL Republicans.
 
SSgtC said:
Oh I know! Reagan gets vilified by the left quite a bit. But the man was surprisingly progressive for being a Conservative
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The true core of the left is economic. Reagan's economic policy is the real issue. True, neoliberals should have no problem with that, but that's not left by any means.
 
Fourthspartan56 said:
Nice priorities, glad that homophobia or the war on drugs are apparently things that don't matter :rolleyes:
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Saying something matters more doesn't mean other things are meaningless. But yes, people not having money to go by and ensuring the tax policy doesn't provide the money to solve that is critical.

Anyway, discussing my priorities isn't the goal of this thread.
 
SSgtC said:
Oh I know! Reagan gets vilified by the left quite a bit. But the man was surprisingly progressive for being a Conservative
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The shift of immigration becoming a left-right issue is fairly recent and historically unusual. Up until Bush Jr. pushing for some sort of open immigration system (as broken and utterly dysfunctional as it is in practice) has been pretty bipartisan since 1965. From the Chinese Exclusion Act up until then cracking down on immigration also had bipartisan support. Before that there was pretty much no regulation and the only American political party that made an issue of it was the No-Nothing Party who mostly stayed on the fringes of US politics in the 1850s. The Republican Party and the American Right in general betting so heavily on anti-immigration policies is a very new thing.
 
Nyvis said:
Saying something matters more doesn't mean other things are meaningless. But yes, people not having money to go by and ensuring the tax policy doesn't provide the money to solve that is critical.
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Except by saying that "economics is the real issue" you're explicitly stating that the myriad ways that Reagan caused massive amounts of harm via social policies "aren't real issues" which is rather repugnant.

So no the idea that your "class first leftism" is the only thing that can matter on the left has no connection to reality, I doubt many minorities would agree with that considering such ideas have universally benefited white people over everyone else.
 
Fourthspartan56 said:
Except by saying that "economics is the real issue" you're explicitly stating that the myriad ways that Reagan caused massive amounts of harm via social policies "aren't real issues" which is rather repugnant.

So no the idea that your "class first leftism" is the only thing that can matter on the left has no connection to reality, I doubt many minorities would agree with that considering such ideas have universally benefited white people over everyone else.
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You're reading way too much into this. I was just stating what I think is the first thing I think makes Reagan bad from a leftist point of view. I never said this is the only issue. It's just a massive one that looms over all Reagan did. It's also worth remembering attacks on minority rights were pretty much omnipresent, while Reagan's economic policy was a sharp change in the country.

Also, a lot of minorities are economically disfavored, so quite a few would probably agree the economic issue has to be handled for them to have any hope at getting better.
 
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