"We are born of the blood..." Let's Play Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

The Victorian · Nov 30, 2018

Hello and welcome to my latest Let's Play, where we'll be looking at one of my favourite RPGs of all time - Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. Released in 2004, it was the last game developed by Troika Games before they closed in 2005. "Troika" means "trio" in Russian, because the company was founded by three former Interplay employees who had worked on Fallout: Tim Cain, Jason Anderson, and Leonard Boyarsky. Rather prophetically, the company only released three games, the other two being Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura and The Temple of Elemental Evil, both of which are great (if a bit buggy) RPGs. Before they shut down the company was working on a new Fallout game, but alas, Bethesda outbid them, eventually producing the execrable Fallout 3. We can only imagine what Troika's take on Fallout would have been like.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines was, like their other games, rather bug-ridden upon release, partly due to the game using an earlier version of the Source engine. Since then, however, the game has gained a cult following, with projects such as the Unofficial Patch seeking to fix bugs and re-implement content that had been cut from the game. There are other mods which add new content to the game, but I won't be getting into them.

The game is set in White Wolf's Old World of Darkness, a world where vampires, werewolves, and other horrors lurk in the darkness, pulling the strings of humanity from the shadows. I should point out that I have not played the tabletop game, nor have I read any of the rulebooks or sourcebooks, so my knowledge of the setting is somewhat limited. Feel free to chime in with any additional information you feel might be relevant.

Since this game is titled Vampire, after all, we're going to be playing as one of these newly-embraced bloodsuckers (the "Embrace" being the act of transforming a mortal into a vampire). The only question is...what kind of vampire are we going to be?

Vampires are divided into clans, each with certain traits, habits, and abilities, (along with a unique weakness), who trace their ancestry back to a single progenitor. The playable clans in this game are:

Brujah: They are the rebels and rogue of the setting, with a focus on physical combat
Gangrel: Wild and bestial, the Gangrel are the most feral and most in tune with the "Beast" (more on that later). They have access to the powerful "Protean" discipline, which allows them to take on beast-like forms.
Nosferatu: The Nosferatu have been hideously twisted and deformed by the Embrace, and cannot show their faces in mortal society. Their focus is largely on stealth.
Malkavian: Malkavians are all hopelessly insane, but sometimes their insanity grants them special insight into things they could not otherwise know of. In gameplay terms, Malkavians have completely different dialogue options than other clans, all of which is completely unhinged, and are thus not recommended for a first-time play-through.
Toreador: Toreadors are the "sexy" vampires of the setting, with a focus on social skills.
Tremere: Tremere is the "mage class" of the game, with access to the powerful Thaumaturgy discipline. They tend to be disliked and distrusted by the other clans.
Ventrue: Ventrue are the vampire aristrocrats, for lack of a better term. Like the Toreador, they specialise in social skills, with the ability to use the Dominate discipline in conversations.

In general, the different clans represent the different aspects of vampire lore that have existed throughout the centuries. Gangrel and Nosferatu represent the more monstrous and animalistic side of vampire-dom, where as the Toreador and Ventrue represent the elite and aristocratic side of things. It's a bit like Count Orlok versus Bela Lugosi.

For this LP, I'm going to be playing as a female Ventrue for two reasons: First, I've never used this clan before, and B: I found a nice-looking female Ventrue reskin. Her name is Alejandra Reyes, and she is in no way related to Reaper from Overwatch.

(The Unofficial Patch adds the "History" option for your character, which had originally been cut from the game. Histories function a bit like Traits in Fallout: New Vegas, in that they provide both a benefit and a drawback. I took the "Megalomaniac" History, which gives us an extra point of Charisma, but we cannot raise our Subterfuge above four).

Now let's have a look at the character sheet:

Mechanically, VtMB is classless and levelless, with XP being spent directly on our abilities. XP is not granted for defeating enemies in combat (with the exception of boss characters); in fact, you usually gain more XP for solving quests without resorting to violence. It's a bit like the Shadowrun Returns games in that regard.

There are two things on this screen I want to point out. The first is our "Humanity" stat. Humanity, as the name suggests, represents our connection to our old mortal existence. Killing innocents and performing acts of senseless cruelty will reduce our Humanity, bringing us closer to the "Beast" (a metaphor for the violent, animalistic predator lurking the heart of every vampire). But given that vampires are predators who require blood to survive, trying to be a moral goody-goody can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. Thus there is a fine line to walk between indulging our bloodlust and trying to hold on to whatever is left of our humanity.

The second thing I want to point out is the five masks at the top right of the screen. This represents our remaining Masquerade violations. The Masquerade is a code of conduct, essentially, that requires all vampires to conceal their existence from the rest of the world. There are far more humans than there are vampires, after all, and if they should learn of our existence then they could easily wipe us out. In gameplay terms, this means that you cannot use vampiric abilities (at least the more conspicuous ones) or feed on people within sight of mortals (and Nosferatu cannot be seen at all). If we rack up five Masquerade violations then it's game over, although there are a limited number of opportunities to gain "Masquerade Redemptions").

All right, enough blathering about game mechanics, let's get on with the story, shall we?

We begin with a scene inside a sleazy-looking hotel room, where it's obvious that Alejandra is about to enjoy some sexy time with an as-of-yet unseen partner, whom the subtitles identify as "Sire":

Our hook-up for the night says there's something he wants to show us...followed by the sound of our character screaming...

Damn it, it's so hard to find people who aren't into weird fetishes these days...

That's four condom wrappers lying around...just how many women has this bloke been with tonight, anyhow?

God...what time is it? That's got to be the most egotistical clock in the universe...

But no sooner do we get our bearings than some goons kick down our door and drive a stake into our heart:

Well, that's it. We're dead. Game over. Well, this has got to be the shortest LP in history...

But wait! There's more!

Suddenly we find ourselves in some sort of theatre, where some preening, pompous popinjay known only as the "Prince" begins blabbering on about...well...let's listen, shall we?

Prince: My apologies for disrupting any business or interfering with prior engagements you may have had this evening. It's unfortunate that the affair that gathers us together tonight is a troubling one. We are here because the laws that bind our society – the laws that are the fabric of our existence. . .have been broken. As prince of this city, I am within my rights to grant or deny the Kindred of this city the privilege of siring. Many of you have come to me seeking permission, and I have endorsed some of these requests.

However, the accused that sits before you tonight was not refused permission, indeed, my permission was never sought at all. They were caught shortly after the Embrace of this Childe. It pains me to announce the sentence, as up to tonight I considered the accused a loyal and upstanding member of our organization, but as some of you may know, the penalty for this transgression is death. Know that I am no more a judicator than I am a servant to the law that governs us all. Let tonight's proceeding serve as a reminder to our community that we must adhere to the code that binds our society, lest we endanger all of our blood.

Note that your sire is the opposite-sex model for whatever clan you choose during character creation.

With one swing of his enormous Buster Sword, the trenchcoated fellow with the glowing eyes lops off our sire's head. And when a vampire dies, they don't just keel over. Instead, they burn away to ashes:

Prince: Which leads to the fate of the ill-begotten Childe. Without a Sire, most Childer are doomed to walk the Earth never knowing their place , their responsibility, and most importantly, the laws they must obey. Therefore, I have decided that-

At this point, someone in the audience decides to protest our treatment:

There are a number of NPCs in the audience, and we'll be meeting them all eventually.

Prince: I have decided to let this Kindred live. They shall be instructed in the ways of our kind and be granted the same rights. Let no one say I am unsympathetic to the plights and causes of this community. I thank you all for attending these proceedings, and I hope their significance is not lost. Good evening.

Now that the proceedings are over with, the Prince speaks with us directly:

Prince: Your Sire - tragic, my apologies, but you see there is a strict code of conduct that all of us must. . .must adhere to if we wish to survive. When someone, anyone, breaks these laws, they undermine the well-worn fabric of our centuries old society. Understand my predicament.

Prince: Allowing you to live makes me directly responsible for your subsequent behavior. So. . .what I'm offering is not generosity - but the opportunity to transcend the fate woven by your Sire. This - is your trial. You will be brought to Santa Monica. There, you will meet an agent by the name of Mercurio. He will provide the details of your labor. I've shown you great clemency. Prove it was more than a wasted gesture, fledgling. Don't come back, until you do. Good evening.

So let's recap the events of this night. First, we learned that vampires are real. Second, we learned that we've become a vampire ourselves. Third, we nearly got our head cut off. Fourth, we've been told to carry out an unknown task for someone we've never met.

I don't think there's any word in any language that can convey just how completely and utterly screwed we are.

The Victorian · Dec 2, 2018

Part 1 - Smiling Jack

So we've been thrown into the wild, into the vast, shadowy world of the undead, with absolutely no guidance or instruction in the ways of vampire-dom. Hmm, it's almost as if they're trying to get us killed!

Well, no use standing around. To go out and do...um...whatever it is vampires are supposed to do...

We walk down the steps, and are suddenly approached by someone named Jack:

"Smiling" Jack is voiced by John DiMaggio, who is probably best known for being the voice of Bender on Futurama. He's going to be running us through the game's tutorial, as well as explaining the more salient aspects of the game setting.

Jack: I'm Jack. What's important is I'm offering help. You make it back from Santa Monica with your hide and we'll trade life stories, okay? 'Til then, I got about this much time. You in or out?

Well, we definitely do need the help. That "Prince" wanker kept going on about the laws we must obey, which so far no one has actually explained to us.

(Note, if you're playing as a Malkavian, you answer his initial dialogue with a bit of nonsense, at which point Jack will say "What? Oh, man. And you're a goddamn Malkavian too? Wow you're really fucked.)

Jack: Now, we ain't got much time but I figure *somebody* should fill you in on the bare bones stuff at least. You know, could save your hide. You look wobbly. You even had a drink yet?

We sure could use a drink, but I don't think it's quite the sort of drink Jack has in mind...

He points out that there's some human down the alley who can't find his car. It's interesting that he refers to him as a "human," as if he's some completely different species.

Goddamned humans!

Jack: You go down there- casual like- creep up on him, then bare those little fangs and feed. Don't worry if you weren't captain of the wrestling team. It'll come so naturally you'll think you'd done it a thousand times already.

But won't this turn him into a vampire as well?

Jack: Forget that comic book crap kid. It don't work that way. Now go for it. Be sure though- and this is important so listen up- be sure not to drain 'em dry, okay? It might be hard to resist, but don't kill 'em.

Going around the corner, we see some hapless fool wandering around, with absolutely no eyewitnesses in sight.

We sneak up on him and...

OM NOM NOM NOM!

The bar at the top indicates how much blood the unfortunate meatbag you're feeding on has left. Drain them dry, and naturally they'll snuff it. Obviously it doesn't represent all their blood - I'm not a doctor, but I'm quite certain you can't survive after losing 90% of your blood.

After feeding on someone, they'll stand around in a daze, with (hopefully) no memory of what happened.

Now that we've filled up our internal blood reservoir (uhh...is there are proper name for it?), let's head back to Jack.

Jack: Alright now, you got the blood, you're feeling all kickass, feelin' better than your best day livin'- but wait! It gets better! All Kindred...Kindred, that's uh, our word for vampire...all Kindred have a few things in common, things that set them right square above humans on the food chain.

So we're superior to humans? This is the best possible news! All of the people to better than, it's best to be better than humans!

But what in what ways are we superior, exactly?

Jack: Like sharper senses, a body that can take a beating, and, if you play your cards right, eternal life. That's no sure bet but still, a chance at immortality is not a bad deal. And that's just starters. Fringe benefits for joinin' the club.

This just keeps getting better. Surely there must be some sort of downside to all this, right?

Jack: Well, you can still be destroyed but forget the books and movies. Garlic? Worthless. A cross? Pfft. Shove it right up their ass. A stake? Only if it catches you in the heart, and then it just paralyzes you. Running water? No problem. I bathe... Occasionally. Now a shotgun blast to the head: That's trouble, boy. Fire? That's real trouble. Sunlight? Well, you catch a sunrise and it's all over kiddo, get it?

I should point out that while Jack acts friendly enough, he has his own agenda, as we'll see later. A running theme in VtMB is that everyone has their own angle, and they're all going to be using you as a pawn in their own little power plays.

Before Jack can continue, however, we're interrupted by a burst of gunfire.

We head inside the nearby mechanic's shop, where Jack tells us what's going on:

I've heard some people say this game doesn't really do justice to the Sabbat - that they're portrayed as far more mindless and violent than they are in the sourcebooks - but I'm not in any position to confirm or deny this.

Jack: The Sabbat got wind of the gathering here, so they figure they'd raise a little hell and put heat on the new [distastefully] 'prince.'

So what's this "prince" a prince of, anyway?

Jack: No time for the political rundown. Job one? Get out of here alive. Sabbat might be mindless but they hit like a Mack truck, like raging savages...nothing a fledgling like you wants to mess with.

Outside we see the same huge, hulking brute who decapitated our sire (and who appears to be wearing a coat made from elephant hide) strolling into an alley...

Opposing him are a handful of Sabbat, and not to point too fine a point on it, but I think they might be a bit outmatched.

Big McLargeHuge conjures up a pair of spectral wolves to chow down on the two thugs with guns, then summons a swarm of insects to take care of the one Sabbat remaining:

It's not obvious from the screenshots, but this game's animations are janky. Like really janky. Oddly enough, though, the facial animations are actually quite well done, being very expressive and convincing. In fact, the facial animations look better than some games released more than ten years later, like Mass Effect: Andromeda.

So now we've established that Big McLargeHuge isn't someone we want to mess with.

The door to the office is locked, be we can use the set of lockpicks we found in the garage to get inside. That we know how to pick locks causes Jack to remark that we "weren't an angel in life," and there will be a few hints during the game that our pre-vampiric existence wasn't exactly bourgeois.

Now we get an explanation about the Masquerade:

But if we're so much better than humans, why not rub it in their faces?

Jack: Same reason you don't let humans see you feeding. It's why the wolf doesn't want the sheep to know he's there. It's also why you don't go jugglin' dumpsters or outrun the 8:15 from Sacramento. And it's why you didn't know any of this when you woke up this morning.

I assume "8:15 from Sacramento" refers to a rail line or something. We don't have a light rail system where I live, just a really shitty bus system that no one uses because it's overpriced...and I suspect it's overpriced because no one uses it.

Jack: Keep our secret secret and you make things easier on all of us. We're living in the age of cell phone cameras...fuckups ain't tolerated. Makes sense enough, right? Well, it ain't a casual thing for a fledgling like you.

And what, exactly, might happen should we fuck up?

Jack: That party back there- with the guy in the suit and Magilla Gorilla...the assholes that put your sire to death? That's the [disdainfully]Camarilla. Hmph. They make a tidy business out of enforcing "vampire laws" like this one.

"Camarilla" means "little chamber" in Spanish, and basically refers to the cronies, hangers-on, sycophants, and bootlickers who surround a king or ruler. Not exactly a flattering term they've chosen for themselves, is it?

If we had been playing as a Nosferatu, Jack would have added "And you, my fugly friend, are gonna have it extra hard. A little effort and the rest of us can blend in okay. A sighting of your hideous ass hits the internet and it's all over. There's a reason most Nosferatu smell like sewer...figure it out."

There's an electronic lock that we need to get past, which means we need to find the keycard. Fortunately for us, the keycard is locked in a safe, which can be unlocked by a computer whose password is posted on a sticky note:

Password security doesn't seem to be very important in the World of Darkness, as we'll later see.

And neither are advancements in computing technology, by the look of it:

All computers in this game not only use a crude command line interface, they also have the green and purple fringing characteristic of the Apple ][.

We already know the password, but if we don't, we can use our hacking skill to gain access. Likewise, we could have just used our lockpicking ability to open the safe. This is a subtle hint that, going forward, we'll be presented with multiple solutions to the various situations we'll find ourselves in.

After grabbing the keycard, we head out back, where Jack is busy dispatching some Sabbat goons who look suspiciously similar to the ones we saw earlier:

During the fight we end up taking a fit hits, so Jack suggests we feed to regain our health. There's a homeless man down the stairs, though Jack remarks that he's "not the freshest catch." And just what does he mean by that?

So the quality of a person's blood is depedent on their socio-economic status? That sounds...deeply problematic. I'd love to see what the sourcebooks say on the subject.

Now Jack explains Humanity, and why it's important to keep it high:

Jack: Remember what I said though; don't kill them. Least not the innocent ones. You're a monster now, make no mistake...one of the damned and the fallen. You need to hold onto every last shred of humanity you have.

But why hold on to our humanity, when humanity is all about being...a goddamn human? :mob:

Jack: An innocent's an innocent. You kill one, even a worthless bum, even by accident, and it's gonna cost you a piece of your own humanity, bring you closer to that Beast you got welling up inside you. The Beast is always there, waiting to take over. When it does, it's like a wild animal wearin' your skin...desperate, scared, reckless. He'll do anything to survive and it's you that has to deal with the consequences.

After feeding on the homeless guy, Jack offers yet another suggestion, should we be in desperate need of blood:

The disadvantage of playing as a Ventrue, however, is that we can't feed on rats, and feeding on bums and prostitutes can cause us to vomit up whatever blood we just drank. I guess we're just too much of a special snowflake for that.

And now we get into my favourite aspect of the game - stealth! And by "favourite" I was being sarcastic, obviously.

I really hate stealth sections in any game that isn't MGS or one of the three Thief games (yes, there were only three...that's my reality and I'm sticking to it), largely because they usually degenerate into tedious trial-and-error gameplay.

We have to sneak by this one Sabbat goon, but immediately after we find out he's all by his lonesome.

Jack: The Sabbat, you see, they don't have the most rigorous training program. In fact, that poor sod is lucky if he knows he's a vampire. He was probably just turned and beaten over the head. They like to do that...make shock troops. Cannon fodder. Put him out of his misery.

Finally we get a chance to put our vampiric abilities to the test. That will have to wait for next time, however.

Sir Bill · Dec 2, 2018

The Victorian said:
So we're superior to humans? This is the best possible news! All of the people to better than, it's best to be better than humans!

I dunno about that. I mean, being better than humans isn't all that impressive. Just striving to be better than a human is setting low standards for yourself, you know?

The Victorian · Dec 5, 2018

Part 2 - Vampirism 101

So to recap the events of the last few entries, we got turned into vampire and thrown out onto the streets without so much as a primer on how we're supposed to act or what we're supposed to do. Fortunately for us, our friend Smiling Jack came along to show us the ropes, although our introduction to vampire-hood was cut short by an attack by the Sabbat.

We've just had a chance to try out our superhuman strength, beating up a lone Sabbat goon and snagging a new weapon for ourselves:

This is nitpicky in the extreme, but that's clearly a lug wrench, not a tire iron. A tire iron is a specialised tool for prying the tire off the wheel rim, while a lug wrench is used for removing lug nuts from the wheel.

All right, sounds like a plan. We head underground, only to stumble across a police officer:

Now we get into the persuasion mechanics. VtMB has not one, not two, not three, not four, but five methods of persuasions. Yes, five: Domination (limited to Ventrue), Dementation (limited to Malkavians), Persuasion, Intimidation, and Seduction.

Persuasion: "It would be in your best interest to do as I say."
Intimidation: "Do as I say or I'll smash your face in."
Seduction: "The power of boobs compels you to do as I say."
Domination: "YOU WILL DO AS I SAY, HUMAN."
Dementation: "The voices in your head are telling you to do as I say."

For the most part, choosing your character's gender doesn't matter...except for the Seduction feat. Why? Because women have more Seduction targets available than men, as they can seduce both men and women, whereas male vampires are usually limited to seducing women except in a few cases.

What? You say this game was clearly designed by men who are turned on by girl-on-girl action? What on earth gave you that idea?

What follows next is basically just a series of tutorials on using your Disciplines and whatnot. It's not very interesting, so I'll just skip past it all.

"Fucking humans" is right! Let's kick their asses!

Jack: They probably seen too much. Here...take this .38. Fuckin' peashooter, but a few shots and it'll take down a human.

The gun he gives us is a .38 caliber Colt Police Positive. Not exactly a hand-cannon by any means, but it should be enough to handle a few measly humans. One of the changes in the Unofficial Patch is giving the guns their real names instead of their made-up, trademark-friendly names.

Jack: Well, I'm gonna want it back so don't go die and lose it. I don't use guns much. They're noisy, they're clumsy, practically useless against vampires. But still, a Kindred's gotta keep up with the times and in modern day Los Angeles, that means comin' strapped.

This is a not-so-subtle hint that you'll want to use melee weapons against other vampires, at least in the beginning of the game.

Jack: Well, some are more lethal than others, of course. Watch out for those shotguns. Those things smart, I tell ya.

We take the lift upstairs, and sure enough we come across some sad-sack hoods who are just in time for their ass-whipping:

Might as well refill our blood bank while we're at it. OM NOM NOM NOM!

Once they're dead, Jack shows up to tell us, in so many words, that we're done with the tutorial:

Jack: That's it kiddo. Just like that and it's all over. Everyone slinks back to their corners of the city for the night.

So vampires choose to use their gift of immortality to engage in petty political struggles? Seems like a waste to me.

Jack: To be honest, you came along at an...interesting time. The Camarilla, the Sabbat..in L.A. these are the new kids on the block. There's already plenty'a Kindred had stakes down in California long before them. Now we got every ancient Kindred rivalry playing out all over the city. Lotta tension out there. Lotta fear. Lotta jittery, high strung predators clingin' to their little pieces of eternity.

Outside, we hear someone honking their horn.

Jack: I think they're looking for you outside; guess you got a cab to catch. Was hoping to fill you in on a little more but...hell, you'll figure it out. If you make it back stop in at the Last Round. It's this bar downtown here. I'll fill you in on the politics. Now that's the stuff that'll kill ya. Good luck.

So now that we're finished with the tutorial, we can get on with some real vampire business. First thing, however, is to get settled in our new apartment:

Umm, this isn't really what I was expecting.

I mean, what a dump...there's not even a proper ceiling, just the bare wooden joists!

We can switch on the radio and listen to a late-night call-in show called "The Deb of Night."

It's actually quite funny, so here's a transcript of the first episode:

Hello LA, you're up way past your bed time, aren't you? Hope you've slipped into something comfortable, I know I have. If you're new to town or just new to this whole radio thing, you're listening to The Deb of Night, the only girl who will spend the night with you and leave first thing in the morning, guaranteed. Well, looks like the boards are lighting up! Aren't I the popular one? Lets see, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, who will be the lucky... caller, you've got the first shot at Deb tonight! So who do I have the pleasure of speaking to? Hi Deb, this is... uh, Vigo. Vigo. So... Vigo, why are you up so late? Uhm, I'm working the night shift here at the... uh, yacht club. Aha. How many boats do you own, Vigo? Two, actually three. Uhm, one is... in the shop. I used to do a little yachting myself, what kind of yacht do you have? Uhm... you probably wouldn't know the brand, I... uh, bought them in Italy. Ah, l'Italia bella. Parlate Italiano? Uhm... yes. Arrivederci, Vigo. Caller two, you're on The Deb of Night. Be gentle. Hi Deb. Hello caller. Hi Deb. Is tonight a re-run? Deb?

Caller number three, what's keeping you up tonight? Deb, listen to me Deb. There're at it again and people have got to know. They've got to know because they don't know, they won't report this stuff on the news because they own the news! Hello Gomez, what's the latest conspiracy? Conspiracy? This goes beyond conspiracy, okay? There is no word for something as devious and secret as this, you understand? People need to hear this, they need to know the real story! You've got our undivided attention. Alright, as we all know the Americans established a Moon base back in the late seventies, that's no secret. But what most people don't know is that they have been conducting a dig. Not for resources, but for artifacts. I see. Well, it's no coincidence that the Chinese have started conducting space missions. You know why? I'll tell you why. The reason is because the Chinese are trying to stop the Americans from finding an ancient space probe send by the Beta-Centaurians. And why? Because the Beta-Centaurians are giving space technology to the Chinese to get back at the Andromedans - a.k.a. the Greys - for giving space technology to the Americans in the fifties. Fascinating. The American government's been putting more money into space. Don't you see what's happening? I can't believe I'm the only one that's figured it out! Am I the only person alive that can see what's going on? It's because the Andromedans and the Betas are going to be fighting their war in this galaxy through us, Deb. And the American people, the people of Earth, you people, cannot let this happen! It's Mu versus Atlantis all over again! Thank you Gomez, and that concludes the news portion of the show. Well, this girl's gotta pay her bills so it's time for a few commercials. But don't go anywhere, I'm just getting warmed up, or... should I say hot.

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You loved the talking baby movie. And the talking pig. And even the talking car in that show, you know the one I'm talking about. But now prepare for the most hilarious talkingest normally mute object yet! He's Steve Cash, a New York banker and recent widower down on his luck. And ten makes one hundred. Here's your money, ma'am. Ma'am? I happen to have a glandular problem. That's it! I'm withdrawing all my millions from this bank. Cash! (laughter) She's an ATM machine with the soul of his dead wife. There's something familiar about this ATM machine. I LOVE YOU. Wow, those marketing guys are geniuses! (laughter) Together, they're learning to make the most out of their special situation. SO THAT GIRL FROM ACCOUNTING USED ME TODAY. Really? SHE WASN'T LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. WHEN SHE PUSHED MY BUTTONS SHE WAS VERY GENTLE. Oh honey, if you don't stop I'm gonna have to make a deposit. (laughter) Transferring Cash. Wednesdays at 8:30 in the BMC.

(thunder) Say goodbye to yellow teeth and spots on your dirty dishes. (beeps) It's incredible! Look at that shine. Your smile... or these dinner plates? (laughter) Harnessing the secrets of ancient Egypt, now there is a dish washing detergent so powerful, it doesn't just leave your dishes spotless, it actually whitens your teeth. (hum) Patented time-released spiritoids remove caked-on food and grease and remain on the plate to be absorbed into your food that clean your teeth while you eat. (gunshot) Desetron, the dish washing detergent of the future, for cleaner plates and whiter teeth!

Last year Democratic candidate Michael Redmonds bought a sport utility vehicle. Three months later there were two seperate incidences of hit-and-runs by an unidentified SUV in his area. Is Democratic candidate Michael Redmonds to blame? Can you afford to take that chance? Can your children? Vote Republican senator Robert Thorne, a candidate that has never committed vehicular homicide. Democratic candidate Michael Redmonds has never publicly stated his opinion on child pornography. Is it because he is hiding something? Would you want a child pornographer voting on this nation's laws? Would you trust your children's future to someone like that? Vote Republican senator Robert Thorne, the candidate that is comitted to locking up child pornographers. Democratic candidate Michael Redmonds recently sued Senator Robert Thorne for accusing Redmonds of being a murderous child pornographer. But Redmonds had previously said he was against clogging up courts with frivolous law suits. Wouldn't this make him a hypocrite? Would you want a hypocrite as your next congressman? Would you want your children become hypocrites? Vote Republican Senator Robert Thorne, a candidate not accused of being a murderous child pornographer.

In a world where people live and die. Do you think you could just go in there and handle this by yourself? If that's what it takes. He was about to meet his greatest foe. Kill them all, all of them! And a girl. Hello! Hi. And a comic relief sidekick, who won't make it to act three. I picked the wrong month to cancel my life ensurance. No, don't say that. You're gonna make it. With the guy from that other movie that was slightly popular, and what's-her-name, from that show you sometimes watch. In a movie with two spectacular CGI battle sequences and an advertising campaign that will leave you no choice but to see this film. See it, because it's a movie and all your friends are going. In theatres friday and on DVD in three months.

There are also some blood packs in the fridge:

These function as health packs, essentially, restoring our blood pool and healing us as at the same time.

In addition to the radio, we can also switch on the TV and watch a news broadcast:

The newscaster is voiced by Brian Mitsoda, who is actually one of the developers, not a voice actor. He would later go on to found DoubleBear Productions.

As an interesting aside, if you toggle noclip on, you can actually find the newscast scene floating out in the void beyond the map:

This is how the Source Engine handles video displays. The scene is drawn somewhere out of sight, and then rendered to a texture.

We're provided with a laptop and some cash, along with a cryptic message from the local Tremere Regent:

Bloody vampires, can't ever be direct about anything...

Let's check our computer, shall we?

We've got an email from the prince, and now we learn that his last name is LaCroix.

"LaCroix" you say? Would you happen to know a woman named Amelie, by any chance? Purple skin, perpetual frowny face, an absolutely magnificent derriere...?

Other messages on our computer include:

Subject: DANG! It's big you know!!!111
From: Hung Low

PENIS ENLARGEMENT! Watch the girls come running! Call today! 1-800-555-STICK!

Umm...I have a feeling that this isn't something Alejandra would be interested in. Just a hunch.

Subject: Kilpatrick's Krime-Puter!
From: akilpatrick@dirtcheapinternet.vtm

Looking for that lazy ass ex-husband who's late on his alimony payments? How about that jerk who knocked you up? Look no further! With Arthur Kilpatrick's Amazing Krime-Puter, you can find almost anyone with a record, and these days that's just about everyone! So come on down to Arthur Kilpatrick's Bail Bonds! If you've got the dead beat, we've got the technology to find him!

This will actually be useful for a number of quests coming up.

Subject: Welcome
From: Mercurio

Hey. Welcome to town. Come on over to my place once you get situated, and we'll talk about what you'll need to get the job done. I'm going to pick up explosives right now, some Astrolite...I should be back by the time you come over. I'm at 24 Main Street, in number 4. Walk to the end of the alley and my building is the next one on the right. -M

Explosives? Just what the hell does this job entail, anyway?

Subject: The opening
From: A friend

The game begins. A pawn is moved.

That sounds rather ominous, doesn't it? Obviously we are the "pawn" described in the message, but a pawn of whom, exactly?

All right, enough wasting time, let's head out and meet this "Mercurio" fellow, shall we?

As we walk through the halls of the apartment, we stumble across a newspaper detailing a rather gruesome murder:

As you might expect, this will be part of a quest later.

After heading out into the streets, we're treated to a cutscene of someone bleeding profusely and limping into one of the buildings.

Despite VtMB's age, I feel that the graphics have held up quite well. They do a great job of conveying a gritty, run-down environment where everything is but a husk of its former self.

There's a strange sort of gothic flavour to the architecture, which is rather fitting, considering the setting.

As we're walking down the street we're suddenly accosted by someone who sounds like they've just taken a hit of acid:

Either this guy is crazy, or this is some kind of test to see how well we can uphold the Masquerade, right?

Well, no, actually. This guy's name is Knox, and he's a ghoul. What's a ghoul? Well...

Knox is practically bouncing off the wall with every line he speaks.

But just what is a ghoul, anyhow?

Knox: Well, the way it was explained to me, whenever a vampire lets a human drink some of their vampire blood, the human gains a little vampire power, can heal up quick and that kinda stuff. Then they're a "ghoul," and ooh, watch out!

So who was it that made him a ghoul?

Knox: Oh man, I really wish I could tell you, but I don't think I'm supposed to. But it's really cool to be talkin to you because I don't get a lot of chance to talk to vampires other than my master, so I thought I'd just say what's up, ya know?

And what's it like being a ghoul?

Knox: It's awesome. Man after that first taste of vampire blood. . . it's like the best drug, only it didn't mess me up, just made me feel like I was better at everything. I felt like a god, just sucking on this nasty dude's wrist.

"Nasty dude" is your first clue as to which clan Knox's master is.

Knox: I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I'm on a "secret mission" for my master. Well, hey, it's been great talking to you, but I better be going - important stuff to do, ya know?

Here is what the White Wolf Wiki has to say on ghouls:

Feed any living creature a little vampire blood and it becomes a Ghoul, at least temporarily. In VTM, ghouls are omnipresent servants, easily created, and heavily abused - although networks do exist to assist them in escaping their masters. A ghoul's emotions run to extremes with the heady drug of vitae in his veins — such a creature often falls prey to great rages and disturbing cravings. The name "ghouls" was not chosen at random.

These creatures are created when a vampire feeds his vitae to another creature. Mechanically, this vitae is treated as a single point - for one lunar month, the ghoul has a point of vampiric blood in his system and acquires all the benefits (and drawbacks) of ghouling. Ghouls can hold multiple blood points in their system, but if they try to hold more than a human capacity, it has unpleasant side effects until the vitae replaces their normal blood. As long as a ghoul has vitae in his system, he remains a ghoul: vitae is lost at the rate of one point per month, and when used to power Disciplines. While a ghoul has blood in his system, he will not age.

So essentially ghouls are addicted to vampire blood, and they don't age physically as long as they get a continuous supply. Should that supply get cut off, however, they will rapidly "age up" to their chronological age, which, depending on how old the ghoul is, can cause them to crumble to dust a in very short length of time.

Well that's about all for today. I apologise for the slow start of this LP, but don't worry, we'll get into some actualy vampy stuff shortly.

The Victorian · Dec 8, 2018

Part 3 - Boils and Ghouls

As we walk down the streest of Santa Monica, we stumble across a police officer casually stolling down the street who doesn't seem to notice or care about the large pool of bloody on the sidewalk:

I imagine this city is so violent that few pools of blood here and there are simply beneath notice for most people. Anyway, let's head inside and OH SWEET JESUS:

This is Mercurio. We don't know it yet, but he's actually Prince LaCroix's ghoul.

Uh, you want me to call an ambulance, mate?

Mercurio: What? No! I got a record back East. I'm heat bait. Don't touch that phone! No goddamn cops!

So what the hell happened to you, anyway?

Mercurio: Uhn. . .yeah. You're lookin' for the Astrolite? I'm uhn. . .ah,I can feel a draft on my fuckin' insides! They shanked me - bastards! The blood ain't workin' no more, my head, it feels cracked. . think my eye's popped. . .

"Astrolite?" That's the explosives we were supposed to pick up, right?

Mercurio: Goddamn chemist! Can't trust any operators in L.A. I verified him, organization seemed reliable. Guy mixes up speed, his crew sells it. Occasionally, he does explosives. I set up a drop. I show up at his house with the money, right? Four of these guys come out of nowhere, junkie pricks - hit me with a bat! Head feels like I gotta friggin' horse kickin' it. Never shoulda gone alone. . .amateur move. . .I shoulda handled those pricks. . .goddamn dirty Cali rat bastards. . .Those cocksuckers - beat me rotten and left me for a stiff. Had to crawl to my car, crawl my ass up here - the vamp blood's the only thing holding me together. But shit, they got the money, they got the Astrolite. . .

So what are we supposed to do, exactly?

Mercurio: Those small-time sons of bitches live out in a dump on the beach. Maybe four or five of 'em. The one's got the explosives is Dennis. Got my money too, that prick! You gotta' . . .gotta' get it back from 'em. Maybe reason with 'em, maybe break in. . .I wanna' kill 'em. Do whatever you people do. I blew it, I know.

He also asks us if we can get some morphine for the pain, and begs us not to the tell prince about his little cock-up. Well we aren't going to tell Prince Fopdoodle anything, and we know there's a clinic right across the street where we might find some morphine.

Unfortunately for us, the clinic is overcrowded and understaffed. Fortunately, we can bluff our way past the line:

In a room off to the side, we find a young woman in desperate need of medical attention:

This is Heather, who's just been hit by a car. She'll be important later on, but for now, let's see if we can find a doctor.

And I wasn't kidding when I said this place was understaffed - they've only got one physician working the night shift:

This is Dr. Malcolm, who's voiced by Phil LaMarr, using the exact same voice as did for Hermes in Futurama. He's actually cheating on his wife (which you find out about by reading the emails on his computer), and you can use the information to blackmail him for some dosh. Considering how easy money is to come by in this game, however, it's not really necessary unless you want to role-play as a prick.

Luckily for Heather, we have something far superior to the American healthcare system...vampire blood!

YOU WILL FORGET ANYTHING YOU SAW, HUMAN.

One of the good things about the clinic being understaffed is that we can skulk around easily without being seen. Looking through one of the computers, we find that they do indeed have morphine in stock (and they'd be a pretty rubbish hospital if they didn't).

...and apparently they're selling that morphine under the counter. According to the emails, the clinic is out of morphine in the Controlled Substances room, but Malcolm might have some in his office.

We can also poke through some of the employee records, most of which are rather cheeky:

Flabottom, P: Phil Flabottomus is a loyal employee, and a hard worker, but seems to have various digestive tract abnormalities which, unfortunately, result in an increased rate of flatulence. The smell of these phenomena is nothing short of horrendous. It seems we may have to do something about him.

Bill, E: Dr. Bill has worked as this clinic's internal wrangler since 1999.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

St.Martin, M: Malcolm St.Martin is our night shift senior physician.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Roberts, D: Has never lost a patient. No one can succeed like Dr.Roberts.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Thornton, K: Several malpractice suits filed against him for unnecessary gynecology. Suggest termination.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

We can pick the lock to Malcolm's office, and sure enough we find some morphine bottles on his desk:

We can also hack into his computer and read through the patient records:

H. Poe: Diagnosis: Ruptured organs. Lacerations. Internal bleeding. Condition: Critical

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

A. Kilpatrick: Diagnosis: Severe tinea infection compounded by untreated herpes simplex 2.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

D. Marsh: Diagnosis: Frequent bouts of sexlexia.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

M. Barber: Diagnosis: Chronic marbopperitis. Uncurable.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I have no idea what "marbopperitis" is supposed to refer to, and Google doesn't have any answers, either. Some sort of inside joke on Troika's part, perhaps?

Anyway, let's get this morphine back to Mercurio:

Before we go about getting back to the Astrolite, however, there are a few other quests we can do. We got an email about "Kilpatrick's Krime-Puter" at the bail bonds office, so let's go check it out, shall we?

So you're a bail bondsman, are you? (Malkavians will ask him "Are you the keymaster?")

Arthur: Yep. Sure do. I'm a third generation bondsman. Got a few employees but I handle most every aspect of the business.

Hmm, I don't see any employees here...

Arthur: I got to have a few other bondsmen to keep the place open 24 hours. Plus a bounty hunter. I pull the graveyard shift cuz that's when all the crazy stuff happens in Santa Monica.

A bounty hunter, you say?

Arthur: You betcha. I used to do some of the bounty huntin' back in the day. Takes a good solid set of brass balls- uh, pardon the expression missy- but it takes balls to make a good bounty hunter.

And no, this isn't an example of the "dark and gritty" setting - being a bounty hunter (or "bail enforcement agent) is actually legal in the United States.

So is the bounty hunter he has on staff any good?

Arthur: Yep. Damn good. His name's Carson and he's great at what he does when he wants to do it. I can't seem find him now, though. He's pissin' me off to be honest. I need him to go find someone.

Can't you find someone else to do the job?

Arthur: Well, I don't feel right cuttin' Carson loose just yet. We go way back. I knew his father too. . . Tell ya what, since I'm stuck here why don't you go and look for him. Just real quick. I'll pay ya for your time.

Sure, we could always use some extra cash (and the experience points...)

Arthur: Great! I suppose the first place you should look is his apartment at the Santa Monica Suites - apartment one, I think it is. Maybe you'll find something there to let you know where he's got himself to. Here's a key card that'll let you in.

Hmm, that's the same suite of apartments that Mercurio crawled away to. Let's go check it out, shall we?

Damn, what a nice place! Sure wish we had an apartment as posh as this...

There's a tape recorder on the table, which has a message from Carson:

Carson: Check, check. Is this thing recording? God, I hate these things. Uh, anyway. The, uh, McGee case is getting weirder all the time. I found where he's been hiding, and I saw some really creepy stuff down there. There was also no sign of McGee down there. I'm gonna follow up on another lead I got, too. Uh, this is Carson, signing off. Man, that sounds stupid...

He's also got a laptop we can hack into, which contains a Legend of Zelda reference:

According to Carson's files, this "McGee" individual is hiding out in the local tattoo parlour.

A tattoo parlour, eh? Sounds interesting...

I'll take the half-naked elf chick riding the magical boar, please.

Actually, we're not here to get inked up, unfortunately. In fact, this place appears to be abandoned. When we head into the basement, however, we hear the phone start ringing.

(There's an animation glitch where, after picking up the receiver, it disappears from your character's hands, making it look as though they're only pretending to speak on the phone):

Someone with an extremely affected British accent is asking for Mr. McGee. Well, he isn't here at the moment...anything we can do to help?

Voice: Well, I'm not sure, I had an appointment with him a few days ago, but he never seemed to show up. Do you know when he'll return?

No idea, but we're looking him for ourselves, too:

Voice: You are? Isn't that a coincidence? Why are you looking for him?

We lie and say he's an old friend of ours. So why is he looking for McGee?

Voice: Well, Mr. McGee was going to be doing some modeling for me. Medical reference for the work that I do here in the studio. It's a shame, really...the proposition would have been quite lucratrive for him.

Hmm, perhaps he can answer a few questions about the missing McGee...?

Voice: I'd be delighted to. Why don't you come down to my office, and we'll talk about it. I'm at the end of Main Street, a small basement studio. The sign says Gimble's Prosthetics. Just ring the buzzer and I'll let you in.

The studio is located just down the street from the Santa Monica suites, and sure enough all we have to do is ring the buzzer on the entryphone to get inside:

Yes, that's right. Who are you, exactly?

(It's hard to notice because of the zoomed-in dialogue view, but he's actually got a prosthetic arm)

Stanley Gimble: Oh, yes. Forgive me. My name is Gimble. Stanley Gimble. But, oh, let us dispense with formalities...you can call me Stan.

So you manufacture prostheses, do you?

Stanley Gimble: Me? Oh, I'm just trying to make things a little easier for those who find themselves, er, disadvantaged. Giving a helping hand, you might say? A leg up? Yes, yes...bloody clever, that one...

And you appear to have a prosthetic arm yourself. Is that what drove you into this business?

Stanley Gimble: Hmmm? Ah, you mean the arm? Yes, that's an interesting story, if you've got the time for one...Well, you might say I have a certain love affair with the human anatomy. An obsession, really. Prosthetics seemed a natural occupation in which to, ah, focus my enthusiasm, as it were. Well, I came to realize that I would never truly reach mastery in prosthetics without knowing what it was like to have to use one. And so I decided, quite out of the blue, actually, to cut off my own arm. My work, as you can well imagine, has quite improved since then.

Well, uh, that's very...dedicated...of you. Now, back to the reason we're here...

Stanely Gimble: Hmmm? Oh, right. Mr. McGee. Well, as I told you, he was supposed to show up a few days ago for a photography session. Reference for my work, that kind of thing. Earlier, I had asked him to take a few pictures of himself for my perusal...a sort of resume, you might say...and that was the last I'd heard of him.

Hmm, the name "Carson" meaning anything to you?

Stanley Gimble: Carson? No. I don't think so, anyway. Hey, look...I know I've got some information on Mr. McGee back in my files. Do you want me to try and dig it up?

Sure, sounds good.

Uh...what?

He walks away into the backroom studio, enticing us to follow him.

The "studio" itself is filled with creepy-looking mannequins and some rather...interseting...pictures on the walls:

Ah hell, this guy is a serial killer, isn't he? First day of vampire-hood and I get stuck dealing with psychos.

xa na xa · Dec 8, 2018

The Victorian said:
And no, this isn't an example of the "dark and gritty" setting - being a bounty hunter (or "bail enforcement agent) is actually legal in the United States.

I hereby conclude that our reality is dark and gritty.

The Victorian said:
I'll take the half-naked elf chick riding the magical boar, please

Sublimely tasteful.

Zanfib · Dec 10, 2018

It should be a magical bear.

The Victorian · Dec 15, 2018

Part 4 - Vampires in Love

I regret to inform you that, as per tumblr's latest rules regarding NSFW content, I will no longer be featuring hardcore porn as part of this LP. Tasteful erotica only from here on out.

With that out of the way, let's get back to exploring Stanley Gimble's murder dungeon:

There are a number of prison cells here, one of which contains our missing bounty hunter, Carson:

No sooner have we spoken with him, however, then Gimble himself shows up, wielding a severed arm as a weapon:

This will likely be the first boss fight in the game for mos players, and it can be rather difficult if you haven't allocated many points in your combat skills. Fortunately for me, I have played this game before, so I'm able to best Gimble handily. And once he's dead, we can obtain the severed arm for our own uses:

The arm even has jiggle physics applied to it! Will the wonders of the Source engine never cease?

Now that Gimble's reign of terror has been ended, we free Carson from captivity:

Before he leaves, he tells us that he's getting out of the bounty hunter business, since Gimble cut off his trigger finger.

(If you're a Nosferatu, then the first time you speak with him he'll say, "Huh? Aaaaahhh! Oh god! Gimble got to you, too? Man...that's inhumane. Looks like he sliced up your face and sewed it back together in the wrong order.")

Guess it's time to get back to Arthur and tell him the bad news:

Unfortunately for Carson, but fortunately for us, Arthur is willing to pay us to track down someone Carson was looking for:

Arthur: I got this guy with a sheet a mile long, put in on three warrants. His girlfriend put up for the bond and now he missed a court date. I can't get in touch with either of 'em. Want a job?

I must admit, this talk of "bail bonds" went over my head the first time I played this game, since bail bondsmen don't exist in Canada.

Arthur: Well it won't be much of a job since you ain't licensed and all. . . but until I can get me another bounty hunter, I need you to find out if this guy skipped town or what.

So all we have to do is track this bloke down? Sounds easy enough, but this is the World of Darkness, so it's probably going to involve some vampy shit or something.

Arthur: Great. Alright, this guy's name is Mike Durbin. Goes by the name "Muddy". His girlfriend put up for his bond. She lives over there above Trip's pawn shop. Her name is Marian Murietta, but I haven't been able to get ahold of her.

What's his record like, anyway?

Arthur: Well, he was brought up on manslaughter charges years back but he got acquitted. Since then he's been in and out for this and that, small time stuff mostly. Most recently he was brought in as part of a big case on stolen auto parts. It's this big chop shop thing that's goin on in Santa Monica. Been in the paper.

And wouldn't you know it, the man's apartment is right across from ours!

We learn that "Muddy" is headed for downtown, the Skyline apartments, specifically. This is actually the start of a fairly long quest, and this is about all we can do about it in Santa Monica.

All right, enough screwing around...time to head to that beach house Mercurio mentioned and get the Astrolite back.

As soon we hit the beach, we're approached by a woman who tells us exactly where the men we're looking for are:

OooOOohhh....spooky!

There are four people just loitering about on the beach, one of whom is an Australian surfer dude with the name of "E." Yes, "E."

All four of them are vampires, and for some reason E thinks we're here to run them off. Apparently other vampires have "citing domain" or, in some cases hunting them for sport:

E: We all seem to have come down with the same disease - ah, hell, who am I kidding, we're a bad horror show. And we seem to be the runts - the mistakes. You types call us Thin Bloods...I say we're all equally screwed.

From the White Wolf Wikia:

Vampires with Thin Blood Syndrome possess exceptionally diluted vitae. A character with Thin Blood Syndrome must expend twice the number of Blood Points necessary when using Disciplines and other vampiric abilities, cannot form blood bonds, and have a portion of their blood pool which can only be used to wake each evening. In addition, thin-blooded vampires generally have great difficulty Embracing others, and more strangely, those who do survive the Embrace often do not awaken as a vampire until minutes or hours later.

Essentially, the older a vampire is (that is, the lower their generation) the more powerful they are. Thin Bloods are of a very high generation, and thus are usually weaker than other vampires. Some Kindred see them as harbingers of the end times, but then again, everything is a sign of the end times to someone.

So how exactly did E get turned into a vampire, anyway?

E: I'd just came to town for a surf tourney - seems like years ago, but it's been about six months now. Every night during the finals I used to hit the local diner after the beach parties fizzled out in the A.M. That's where I met her. She had a natural beauty, not like all the plastic dolls littering the sand. Her name was Lily. I remember introducing myself - the way she seemed grateful for the company. Well, a few nights after our meeting, we were on the beach alone and...

Oh boy, here it comes...

E: She tried to tell me what she was, but I didn't understand. And so, she showed me. I was furious with her when I took it all in. I cursed her and left, never really knowing what I was. I realize now how she must've felt. So, here I am, now, a mystery to myself.

Well this sure as hell sounds like a quest to me! We ask him if the othes here are Thin Bloods as well:

E: Aye. Most of them just recently arrived in L.A. Got chased off by the Sabbath or some such thing from their home cities. They're more in the dark than I am. They're a good bunch, but...they've been through a lot. It's affected them.

Perhaps we could look into this "Thin Blood" condition, and see if we can track down this "Lily."

E: We'd appreciate it. Oh, 'fore I forget, name's E. The black-haired beauty over there's Rosa. Sees the future, so she says. That nervous bloke is Copper, and the one who can't speak so well's Julius. Kid's gloves with them, they've had it rough.

When we ask where we should start looking for Lily, he suggests the diner located next to bail bonds office.

Let's have a talk with the other Thin Bloods, shall we?

The "head vampire?"

Copper: If the head vampire dies we all become human again, right?

If you're feeling like a dick, you can sell him a "Holy Stake" (actually a piece of driftwood you picked up on the beach) needed to kill the "head vampire." Alternatively, you can sell him a regular bloodpack, telling him it's "unicorn blood" which can cure him of vampirism via a transfusion. If you tell him to kill the "head vampire" he'll ask who it is, and one of the options is to tell him that it's the President of the United States. Choosing this option leads to a Humanity drop AND a Masqeurade violation.

Next up is Julius, who isn't exactly talkative:

Next up is Rosa:

Uh...I am?

Rosa: Why's he smiling? The father? Is it the father behind him?

Say again?

Rosa: You. . .You chased it for the one at the top of the city. . .on the sea, underground. . .you found it in the crypt. . .it's open. . .oh. . .oh, god. . .run!

She's voiced by Courtney Taylor, who puts on the exact same voice she used for Juhani in Knights of the Old Republic. This whole conversation will make no sense if you haven't played this game before, but if you have, then she's effectively recapping the main storyline.

We can ask her about our "fortune:"

Rosa: Fortune is not your destiny. All of us are unfortunate. Every time I sleep the future plays out before me. I know the ending. . .it will end over and over until I cease to dream. I know your questions. For $100, I'll tell you what you don't want to hear. I need money to leave this place.

Judging by her skin tone, Eastern European accent, and ability to read people's fortunes, I'm guessing Rosa is supposed to be Romani. Which is a bit problematic, considering that White Wolf published a rather infamous sourcebook titled World of Darkness: Gypsies, which was, effectively, a guide to role-playing racist stereotypes. And believe me when I say this isn't the first time I've heard the World of Darkness setting being accused of indulging in offensive stereotypes.

Rosa: The crimson ship. . .he's not who he says she is and it's going to burn. . .dinosaurs?. . .He's furious. . .the man with the crest. . .the voice in the darkness, boss. . .Chinese brothers. . .follow the lights to the end of the tunnel. Where do you want to go?

It's pretty clear that Rosa is a Thin Blood Malkavian, meaning she possesses their insight without the all-consuming madness...not a bad deal, actually.

We ask her who we can trust:

Rosa: Hmm. . .the man on the couch. . .the lone wolf. . .all others - tread carefully.

I'm pretty sure "the man of the couch" refers to Mercurio. But who is "the lone wolf?"

Then we ask who our enemies are:

Rosa: Many. Everywhere. Some with swords, some with smiles. But I pity them. You are a remarkable foe.

Well, Alejandra here is a Mexican vampire, so her greatest enemy is probably El Santo:

Rosa leaves us with this one bit of cryptic advice: "Don't open it."

The beach house we're looking for is at the edge of a cliff next to the Santa Monica pier. (In reality, there are no cliffs next to the pier, but this game isn't exactly going for geographic accuracy.)

As tempting as that third option is, we're going to play this cool.

Now we can see the Fallout influence at work, in that there are three ways we can go about this quest. The first is simply killing everyone inside the house and taking the Astrolite. The second is via stealth, and the third is by using our speech skills. Being a Ventrue, we'll be taking the third route.

(The stealth option involves going around the back of the house and cutting the power. Some of the thugs are playing a video game, and when the power goes out one of them complains that he was "just about to unlock Sheng Long." Now that's an obscure reference if I ever heard one).

(If your character is male, he'll say, "Uh-huh. . .yeah, you look real good at me. Before we do business, before anything changes hands I want you to hear this - If you try to cross me, I will fuck you. If you tell the cops about me, I will find you, then I will fuck you. And if you are a cop, I will fuck you and your whole family, including that squirrel in your yard. Now that we know the terms, what can I do to make you walk out feeling like you just flew first class with a cheerleader in your lap?")

Dennis: My staff maintains at all times a twenty-four carat smorgasboard of A+ narcotics guaranteed to make the competition's shit seem like a weak cappucino in comparison. White, green, blues, reds, black - pick a color.

That's more choices than Mass Effect 3! *rimshot*

But we aren't looking for drugs. We're looking for something with a little more *oomph*...like explosives:

Dennis: Explosives? Fun stuff. You can get yourself a lot of attention that way. I may have something. Why would you need to get your hands on some fireworks?

We have a number of responses, such as destroying a car for the insurance money, or that our wife/husband got the house in the divorce.

Dennis: Sure, okay. I've got some stuff that'll do the trick. Astrolite - it's like TNT's bigger, meaner cousin with a prison record. I don't like keeping the stuff around - too dangerous - so I'll let you have it for a little less than the going rate.

With our high Persuasion skill, we can convince him to give us the Astrolite with the promise that we'll pay him back later. Because of course we will..right?

If we poke around the crawlspaces, we find the money the thugs stole from Mercurio.

All right, so we've got the explosives, so what are we supposed to do with them, exactly?

Mercurio: I heard a lot about that operation. I'd love to get in there, get my hands on the equipment they've been unloading. But it'd be suicide to walk in there. . .got a small army of trigger-happy types and they're all packin'. I don't know. . .maybe. . .uh. . .

So a frontal assault is a bad idea. Any suggestions as to how we can tackle this "Sabbat interest?"

Mercurio: There's a guy, I never met him, but I heard a lot about him. His name's Tung, Bertram Tung. He's a, one of you types. If there's anyone who knows more than me about this city it's him. Unfortunately. . .Tung's hiding out at the moment. Tung's lying low 'cause of Therese - Voerman, you know her? Anyway, word is Therese and Tung are feuding - I don't know the details. My take's that Tung think's he's about to get whacked, so he's gone underground 'til Therese calls it off. If you want to put that warehouse into orbit anytime soon, you're going to have to get Therese to call off the feud.

Who is this Therese person?

Mercurio: She's the woman around here. Power player. Nice looking broad for a dead chick, but, uh, personality like stone. She and her sister - Jeanette - run the Asylum. Some freaky customers frequent that place. I try not to do business there.

What can he tell us about Jeanette?

Mercurio: Therese. . .Therese I don't like but I can respect her. Jeanette's different. I don't know what to make of her. She's a little, you know, in the head. I know Therese is, well, like you, and I would think so's Jeanette, but I hear rumors about her. . .

What kind of rumours?

Mercurio: Alright. . .Jeanette. Gotta' body built for bedrooms. And I got close acquaintances says they conquered that territory. But I asked the main man and. . .he says you types, you know, can't or don't, uh, do that kind of thing. . .anyway, whatever she is, I hear Jeanette's a wild girl.

So in order to get into the Sabbat warehouse, we need to find this Bertram Tung, and to find him, we need to get Therese Voerman to call of her feud with him.

God damn it, I hate being given the run-around. Can't these vampire-types doing anything without it dissolving into a bunch of mindless back-stabbing and power plays?

I guess not.

Kuja · Dec 16, 2018

The Victorian said:
For this LP, I'm going to be playing as a female Ventrue for two reasons: First, I've never used this clan before, and B: I found a nice-looking female Ventrue reskin. Her name is Alejandra Reyes, and she is in no way related to Reaper from Overwatch.

The Victorian said:
We've got an email from the prince, and now we learn that his last name is LaCroix.

"LaCroix" you say? Would you happen to know a woman named Amelie, by any chance? Purple skin, perpetual frowny face, an absolutely magnificent derriere...?

The Victorian said:
The disadvantage of playing as a Ventrue, however, is that we can't feed on rats, and feeding on bums and prostitutes can cause us to vomit up whatever blood we just drank. I guess we're just too much of a special snowflake for that.

The Victorian said:
So the quality of a person's blood is depedent on their socio-economic status? That sounds...deeply problematic. I'd love to see what the sourcebooks say on the subject.

I always preferred to interpret this line in two ways.

Saying its based on breeding is a...misinterpretation caused by vampires' habitual interpretation of humans as animals and food stock (some even referring to humans as 'kine' as we'll see later). Quality of blood is more attributable to a combination of healthy lifestyle, a lack of disease, and maybe a touch of self-possession or personal charisma, many of which are easier to maintain when one lives a wealthy and affluent life. So a lawyer with a seven-figure net worth who somehow got through law school without touching cocaine and only has the occasional glass of wine is healthier for a vampire to chow down on than some guy who works fast food after getting out of rehab for the fourth time.

Still problematic, I'll grant you, but that's vampire roleplay for you.

The other interpretation of this idea is of course that vampires are encouraged to literally eat the rich.

...yes clans Brujah and Nosferatu are my favorites. Be shocked. Show me your shocked face.

The Victorian said:
Well, Alejandra here is a Mexican vampire, so her greatest enemy is probably El Santo:

DON'T FORGET:

THIS IS A REAL THING AND IT'S HYSTERICAL

(also Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter would be especially funny in the universe of V:tM...)

Sir Bill · Dec 16, 2018

Honestly, none of my characters had any real trouble with Gimmel, and that was... pretty good at establishing the mood of the game, in my mind. Maybe I spent more points on combat and never even thought about it.

Like, you have this horror movie atmosphere as you track the last known connection to a missing bounty hunter, you meet this slightly unnerving fellow, he invites you into his basement, and as you walk the corridors, it's increasingly clear that something is wrong here, all standard horror stuff.

You meet a prisoner, he yells for you to watch out, the creepy guy attacks you with a severed arm, which might actually be his own, and...

He's a chump. Like, not even a proper threat, really.

Yeah, he's a horror movie villain, but he's some chump mortal horror movie villain. You're the big, bad predator of the night, and however scary this guy is for little innocent humans, right at that moment he's nothing but another walking blood bag.

Of course, that's rather contrasted with another early game quest, but I'll talk about that one when the OP gets there.

The Victorian · Dec 21, 2018

Part 5 - Overdrawn At The Blood Bank

On our quest to hunt down E's missing vampire paramour, we were told to investigate the local diner. So we ask the owner, Doris, if she's ever heard the term "Thin Blood" before:

(If we were feeling malicious, we could pretend to be the health inspector and point out that the milk's curdled and there are rat droppings in the corner, and then she would bribe us to keep our mouth shut about it).

Doris gives us Lily's possessions, which includes her handbag, a picture, and a bail bond from Kilpatrick Bail Bonds:

So we're looking for someone named "Rolf Toten." Toten, in German, is the inflected form of toter, meaning "corpse" or "cadaver." So how much you want to be this bloke is a vampire?

Well, luckily for us we already know that we can use Kilpatrick's Krime-puter to get information on local bail-jumpers:

Since I'm not terribly familiar with the American legal system, are arrest records made publically available like this? I'm pretty sure in Canada you can't get access to those without a court order.

There are a number of other arrest record we can view, most of which are rather amusing:

Cienna Baum: Bond written 10/9/99 -- Prostitution. Case#245682. Second Offense. Bond Amount: $1500. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: Local girl. Friend of bondsman who did not know that she was a 'working girl' when he picked her up has identified that she carries a contagious case of the chooch devils.

Mark Bremerkamp: Bond written 11/12/03 -- Public Disturbance - Drunk, Indecent Exposure, Vandalism. Case#664487. Bond Amount: $2200. Type of Bond: Cash - paid by credit card. Notes: Public urinator.

(Mark Bremerkamp is one of the artists who worked on this game)

Vandal Cleaver: Bond written 01/01/02 -- Two Counts Concealment of a deadly weapon, Threats. Case#341800. Bond Amount: $20,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: Picked up after local woman reported being stalked by subject. Found with a knife and a stun gun. Good lawyer got this guy's sentenced talked down from intent to do bodily harm to restraining order in a matter of hours.

Fernando Cougat: Bond written 06/09/00 -- Statutory Rape, Purchasing Alcohol for a Minor. Case#449073. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Car, Red 02 Powell Persephone (CA Plate#STP4LDz). Notes: Picked up outside the Asylum for trying to move a drunk sixteen year old to his car. This ain't Canada, buddy.

(If you don't get the reference, the age of consent in Canada is sixteen, whereas it varies by state in the US)

Virgil Crumb: Bond written 03/25/02 -- Two Counts Public Disturbance - Drunk and Nudity. Case#766141. Bond Amount: $5,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: Local. VOID: Subject's corpse identified. Being held at Medical Clinic Morgue. Authorities notifying next of kin.

Michael "Muddy" Durbin: Bond written 03/05/04 -- Assault. Prior Conviction for Grand Theft Auto. Prior Conviction for Robbery. Case#777121. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - 01 Corvega, color: Gray. Notes: Threepeat Offender, wouldn't be surprised if this guy tries to run.

Carl Grady: Bond written 04/02/01 -- Possession with Intent to Distribute. Case#320091. Bond Amount: $25,000. Type of Bond: Property - House, 222 Ocean's Way, Santa Monica, CA. Notes: Local surfer.

Mitch 'The Tabby' Iberson: Bond written 02/10/02 -- Concealment - Firearm. Case#445090. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: Guy's got a big, purple blotch on his face that'll make you sick. Update 03/22/02 -- Deceased. Chunk of him washed ashore last week.

Ansel 'Gretel' Kramer: Bond written 11/14/03 -- Prostitution. Case#332121. Bond Amount: $3,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: This is what we used to call a Jack-in-the-box -- Wind her up and a something's going to pop out.

Mike Mateo: Bond written 03/13/02 -- Battery. Prior Conviction for Possession. Case#110089. Bond Amount: $5,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: Another local. Santa Monica used to be a swell place to live.

Chad Moore: Bond written 10/12/03 -- Public Disturbance - Noise. Case#232300. Bond Amount: $2,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - 50 copies of Console Game ('Red Asphalt'), 40 copies of PC game ('Arcanum'). Notes: Brought him in for excessive talking smack at the local arcade.

(Chad Moore is another Troika developer)

Brian Nilson: Bond written 12/01/01 -- Battery. Case#245990. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Cash. Notes: Local thug threw some guy who was allegedly trying to buy drugs from him down the beach access stairs.

Orion Olsen: Bond written 02/29/02 -- DUI. Case#770405. Bond Amount: $15,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Car, Black '99 Ponce Gorgemando (CA Plate#LV2 Drnk). Notes: Guy drove his SUV through a bookstore, but since there wasn't a coffee shop inside, there were no casualties.

Bobby Pedroso: Bond written 08/11/00 -- Robbery. Case#932433. Bond Amount: $20,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Car, Green '77 Race Guzzlestein (CA Plate#STL 555). Notes: Robbed a convenience store in Hollywood.

Thundarr Perillo Jr.: Bond written 05/15/04 -- Identity Theft. Case#439882. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - One Russian Woman. Notes: Charged with impersonating a coder.

(TJ Perillo is yet another developer of this game)

Steve Rhoades: Bond written 02/20/04 -- Just Because. Case#855221. Bond Amount: $5,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Steve's stuff. Notes: He just looks suspicious. They should just keep him in jail so he doesn't have the chance to pull off the crime everyone suspects he's bound to.

Al Schmidt: Bond written 06/20/01 -- Grand Theft Auto. Case#900221. Bond Amount: $10,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Car, White '88 Fensler Generic GT (CA Plate#0ME 0MY). Notes: I don't think the car he put up for collateral is his.

Roddy Silvers: Bond written 05/30/01 -- Animal Cruelty. Case#832221. Bond Amount: $17,000. Type of Bond: Collateral - Hunting Rifle. Notes: Just because an animal's rare, doesn't mean you should sneak into the zoo and eat it before it goes extinct.

Isabel Valentine: Bond written 10/13/03 -- Battery. Case#222999. Bond Amount: $5,000. Type of Bond: Cash - paid in full. Notes: She's got a rep for beating the snot out of the locals.

(Wait, so this game takes place in the Soul Calibur universe?)

We know that Mr. Toten's car has a number plate that reads "GUYCONI," and sure enough we find it parked at the beachside car park. Inside the trunk is a copy of Lily's journal:

I'm not sure why he had her diary in the trunk of his car, but whatever.

If we read throug her journal, we'll learn that Rolf was, surprise surprise, a vampire who sired her as Kindred. With a sudden craving for blood, she headed to the local blood bank (which just so happens to be in the basement of the Santa Monica clinic).

When we get to the blood bank, we find it staffed by...this guy:

This Vandal Cleaver, and while it's not immediately explained to the player, he's actually Therese Voerman's ghoul. Keep in mind that ghouls often take on the clan traits of their Kindred masters, and every word Vandal speaks is dripping with barely-restrained homicidal rage.

(He's voiced by James Arnold Taylor, best known for voicing Tidus in the Final Fantasy games).

We don't find any sign of Lily, but if we hack into one of the terminals, we discover there's a set of freezers in the blood bank, one of which is running at a higher temperature than the others:

Sure enough, looking behind some boxes in Freezer #3 reveals a hidden passage...

Following the passage leads to a room where we find Lily, strapped to a chair:

So it appears that the Santa Monica blood bank has been taking blood from less-than-willing donors.

We free Lily from her restraints...

At that moment, one of the orderlies walks in, and the blood-starved Lily immediately leaps on him and drains him dry:

(There's an amusing bit where your character just awkwardly glances to the side while all this is happening)

It sounds like she succumbed to the Beast:

Lily: Beast? What is that? Why couldn't I stop myself? Why did it. . .feel so right?

Time to hear her explanation of what happened:

Lily: I tried to steal some blood - I'd heard they sold it, I was hungry and I can't hunt in town. . .they caught me and. . .I was strapped - trapped. . .thought I'd never escape. But. . .I killed a man. I have to get out of here. . .

We tell that we know E:

Lily: E.? You know E.? I. . .how do you know E?

He asked us if we knew anything about this "Thin Blood" condition, for one thing.

Lily: I tried to tell E. about his condition, but he was so furious at me for what I'd made him into he wouldn't listen. . . A Thin Blood, from what I've been told, is a vampire whose blood is weaker than most. Rolf, my Sire, told me some vampires consider Thin Bloods a bad omen and want them destroyed. Rolf wasn't a Thin Blood. . .and apparently I am. I don't know why. Rolf abandoned me. His group wouldn't take me in. They said I was a liability. He left me with so many questions. And I did the same thing to E. But I didn't want to leave E. He forced me out of his life. . .I - I should go. I have to get out of here. Maybe out of this city. . .soon.

We tell her that E isn't angry with her anymore, and she heads off to find him, asking us to promise her that we won't tell him she just killed a man.

As we leave, we're confronted with a rather irritated Vandal Cleaver:

So apparently his job is keeping the blood bank stocked by abducting people and forcibly draining them of blood. We can actually buy blood packs from him (if we pass a speech check here), but we'll have to find him a new victim, first.

We head back to the beach and tell E the good news:

He says that he and the other Thin Bloods will be getting out of LA soon, as Rosa has told them that something big is going to happen, and that he doesn't want to be around when "the Jack comes out of the box." FORESHADOWING! WooooOOOoooo!

Before we leave, we return Lily's belongings:

(One dialogue option we can choose reads "Vampires in love...you guys make a great airport paperback." And this game came out years before the Twilight books, no less).

Okay, we've spent enough time mucking around with sidequests...and I'm getting a wee bit uncomfortable carrying around these high explosives in my inventory. Time to head to the Asylum nightclub and speak with Therese.

Ugh...I hate nightclubs in real life...give me open-air concerts any day. This isn't going to very pleasant, is it?

This is Jeanette, Therese's identical twin sister, and she has a great pair of...um...eyes. She's voiced by Grey Delisle, whose voice acting resume is about five miles long (I best know her as the voice of Viconia from Baldur's Gate).

She's probably the most advertised character in the game, appearing on the box art and in other promotional materials, despite the fact that she's actually a rather minor NPC in the grand scheme of things.

So what do you do here, Jeanette?

(This conversation really shows off how well the game's facial animations have held up over the years).

Inside the club we find Knox, apparently on some errand for his master:

Knox's master is actually Bertram Tung, the same guy we're looking for. Problem is, Bertram's in hiding, and Knox needs to tell him something.

So what's the "mission" he's on, anyway?

Knox: Well, Bertram had me keeping an eye on this guy, this asian dude who's been poking around Santa Monica. Bertram thought he might be a vampire or. . . something like a vampire, I dunno.

An "asian vampire" you say?

Pictured: What an asian vampire might look like:

So what's the problem, exactly?

Knox: This guy. . .this thing. . .got wise to me. Now instead of me watching him, he's watching me. I see this guy appear around me all the time, like off in the distance watching me then he'll, like, warp up next to me, then disappear.

Because we have a high Perception skill, we can determine that something about his story seems a little...off:

Knox: Whu. . .how did you know. . .? Uh. . .look. . .I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, why should I tell you anything? You're not being straight with me. OK, ok, ok. Dammit Knox. Damn, alright look, I messed up, OK? I'm just doing what I was told though. He knew you were coming, Bertram. Knew you'd come by here. He planted me and told me what to say about the asian vamp but it's true. I swear. And everything else is true too. This asian guy needs to be taken out- I can't do it, so Bertram needs you to.

This sounds like a quest to me! Let's find this "asian vampire," shall we?

Knox: Hell yeah! Right on. OK like I said he's some kind of asian vampire. . . thing. The only clue I've got is this driver's license that he dropped once while I was tailing him. I've been so freaked out that I haven't even had a chance to check it out. . .

We came here to see Therese, but it looks like we've gotten side-tracked a bit. No matter, I'm sure she can wait...

The Victorian · Dec 29, 2018

Part 6 - The Hell Hotel

Warning: This chapter of the LP is eXtReMeLy SpOoKy! WooooOOOoooo!

When we last left off, we were in pursuit of an "asian vampire" that had been hounding Knox. This vampire had dropped a driver's licence which, upon closer examination, belonged to someone named "Virgil Crumb."

Also note that, judging from the poster on the wall, our character is a fan of the Italian gothic metal band Lacuna Coil (AKA the band that Evanescence stole their sound from). I think Alejandra would prefer something a little heavier...like Cryptopsy or Cannibal Corpse.

If we head over to Kilpatrick's 24-Hour Bail Bonds, we can look up Mr. Crumb's arrest record.

The morgue is located, as you might have guessed, in the Santa Monica clinic. Sure enough, we find Virgil's Crumb's body:

We also find a keycard among his possessions, one for a location named "Foxy Boxes."

Going there will take us to a boss fight, one that can be a bit difficult, so I'm going to hold off for a bit until I've raised my combat stats a little.

For now, we're going to go see Therese the Asylum nightclub. Her office is located on the second floor, and as we approach the door we can hear her arguing with her sister, Jeanette:

Jeanette: Your city? Last time I looked it was called Santa Monica, not stuck-up Bitch.
Therese: So vulgar. I can't even look at you sometimes, you jezebel.
Jeanette: Oh, Therese, you really do paint a flattering portrait of me with your turn-of-the-century barbs. I always assumed you could do nothing but look down on me.
Therese: Just the sight of you – the sight of that wicked, painted pout concealing that dirty, diseased mind. Sin! You have no shame.
Jeanette: [Laughs] Let she who is without sin, cast the fierce tone.
Therese: Go ahead and mock me. You pull your pranks, make fun of my ways. It suits you. You're just one big joke.
Jeanette: [Upset ]Don't you call me that!
Therese: Should I start calling a duck a pig as well?
Jeanette: I'm your sister! How can you treat me like this?

We hear the sound of a door slamming, indicating Jeanette has gone off to pout somewhere. Why do I have the feeling getting involved with these two is going to be a huge pain my in my dead ass?

Therese, being Jeanette's identical twin sister, is also voiced by Grey Delisle. Judging by her business attire and domineering attitude, you'd probably have her pegged as a Ventrue.

Therese: Therese Voerman, yes. I'm the proprietor of this club, and the only person in this city whose good side it's in your best interests to stay on. What brings you to Santa Monica?

The "only person" whose good side we should stay on? We'll see about that.

Anyway, we're here about her little feud with Bertram Tung.

Therese: Tung's exile is self-imposed, I assure you. But then, what reason would I have not to hate that loathsome Nosferatu scoundrel. Bloody Nosferatu. They're so. . .unclean.

She still hasn't explained why she has it in for him, though.

Therese: He meddles in my affairs. He's a bad influence on my sister, and she on him. If you were in my place, would you let him compromise your authority? You most certainly would not. I'd quite like it if I never had to hear that name again...Tung and his co-conspirator's actions ruined my chance at partnership in a crucial piece of property. I do have several other promising ventures, and one in particular has been, to say the least, an ordeal.

I get where this is going...she's going to want to have us do something to further her interests in exchange for calling off the feud with Tung...which serves another individual's interests. Man, when are we going to get around to manipulating people to serve our interests?

Therese: Hmm. . .I'd be willing to put the word out that my grievances with Tung have been swept under the rug, but in return, you'll have to help me remove a particularly burdensome spirit from a property I'm looking to invest in.

A "burdensome spirit?"

Therese: I forgot, you're still new to this. Allow me to break you in - yes, ghosts exist. Werewolves, mummies, and I'd expect a whole lot of other things I've never seen share the night with us. Rumor is that a personal item of a ghost may be used to draw it out or excise it from its haunt. While I don't put a lot of stock in hearsay, it's my last option. So I want you to go to the Ocean House hotel, find an item of the spirit, and bring it back.

So all we have to do is go to some haunted hotel and find some item belonging to a restless spirit, eh? Sounds easy enough; I mean, we're a bloody vampire! We're scarier than anything else out there...right?

We have a look around Therese's office before we leave, and find an extremely ominous looking painting of the Voerman twins and their father:

Our destination is the Ocean House hotel, which can only be reached by going through the sewers, for some reason:

After trudging through the underground river of human waste, we finally arrive at the Ocean House hotel, a fine example of pre-modern architecture:

I can see why Therese wants this place...if this were a new hotel it would no doubt by some ugly grey or brown slab...yes, even in this LP I'm going to bitch about modern architecture (seriously...it fucking sucks!)

The front door is locked, so we go and grab the key from the nearby construction office. As soon as we do, however, we hear an engine start up, followed by a load crash. When we go inside, we find that a skid-steer has crashed into the side of the building ALL BY ITSELF:

ExTrA sPoOkY! WooooOOOOOoooo!

All right, enough screwing around, let's head inside this haunted hotel, shall we?

At first glance, it looks empty, but if you approach any of the objects lying around, such as vases or pictures hanging on the wall, they'll suddenly be picked up by some unseen force and flung at you. Looks like a classic poltergeist to me.

The Ocean House hotel is actually genuinely spooky the first time you play through it...and considerably less so on subsequent play-throughs.

At one point, we reach a dead-end, and when we turn around we're confronted by a man in a fedora holding a bloody axe in his hands:

It's just an apparition, however, and vanishes after a second or two.

We try heading upstairs, only for the floor to collapse and drop us into the basement. There we have a brief vision of a terrified woman in a bloody white dress:

A short distance away we find the laundry room, and the scorched remains of a newspaper:

Maybe I just have a sick sense of humour, but this actually made me laugh. Somehow I don't think a respectable newspaper would report in such a sensationalist manner.

We need to get back upstairs, but the lift isn't powered up. Turning power back on involves flipping a switch in the boiler room. and if we actually look inside one of the washing machines we find the key to said boiler room.

As soon as we flip the breaker, however, the poltergeist gets angry, causing bolts and sparks to go flying everywhere. Still, it can't really do much to harm us.

We take the lift up to the second floor and start exploring some of the guest rooms. One includes a rather...interesting...child's drawing:

Aww...aren't they just the picture of a happy American family?

It should be obvious by now that the husband went crazy and murdered his entire family with an axe, and now their spirits are trapped in this place.

Sure enough, if we poke around the hotel's kitchen, we find the wife's diary:

Basically, her husband Ed became paranoid that she was cheating on him, and eventually he snapped, killing his wife and children before (presumably) killing himself. It would be horrific, were it not for the sheer ridiculousness of how the game presents this bit of the story. Apparently, she was writing in her diary while her husband was trying to bash down the door and kill her. Was this really the only way Troika could deliver this information?

As soon as we pick up the diary, the poltergeist goes crazy, picking up all the pots and pans and flinging them around. We escape into an elevator shaft, but just as we reach the bottom the carriage cames roaring down from above:

It's instant death if you don't jump out of the way. Fortunately for us, we find an axe on top of the carriage (presumably the murder weapon):

(I think this weapon was added in the Unofficial Patch, but I'm not 100% sure).

Now we've got a proper weapon, and we're ready to take on any spooks, boojums, snarks, spectral goats, revenant toiletries, or cannibal vampire anchovies the world can throw at us!

Fourthspartan56 · Dec 29, 2018

The Victorian said:
Maybe I just have a sick sense of humour, but this actually made me laugh. Somehow I don't think a respectable newspaper would report in such a sensationalist manner.

Glad I'm not the only one, there was always something darkly hilarious about a newspaper calling the hotel where a familial murder-suicide occurred "hotel hell"

xa na xa · Dec 29, 2018

The Victorian said:
Apparently, she was writing in her diary while her husband was trying to bash down the door and kill her.

Does nobody remembers that classic scene in The Shining, where Shelley Duvall is frantically grasping her pen and jotting down notes in her personal journal, while Jack Nicholson is battering down the bathroom door shouting "Here's Johnny!!"?

Fourthspartan56 · Dec 29, 2018

xa na xa said:
Does nobody remembers that classic scene in The Shining, where Shelley Duvall is frantically grasping her pen and jotting down notes in her personal journal, while Jack Nicholson is battering down the bathroom door shouting "Here's Johnny!!"?

I know it's what I would do if I were getting murdered, gotta maintain that proper documentation.

Choo Choo · Dec 29, 2018

The first time I played this part of the game I was like, sixteen and home alone at three in the morning. It fucked me up.

Chandagnac · Dec 30, 2018

The Victorian said:
Basically, her husband Ed became paranoid that she was cheating on him, and eventually he snapped, killing his wife and children before (presumably) killing himself. It would be horrific, were it not for the sheer ridiculousness of how the game presents this bit of the story. Apparently, she was writing in her diary while her husband was trying to bash down the door and kill her. Was this really the only way Troika could deliver this information?

Maybe she was dictating?

Anyway, great to see you doing more of this, The Victorian. I really enjoyed playing V:TMB back in the day, so this was a fun trip down memory lane. Ah, nostalgia...

Ironanvil1 · Jan 1, 2019

I always loved the hotel section just for the meta game design angle helping express the setting. You've had a few hours in Santa Monica to get you comfortably settled into being Vampiric Master of the Night, then a ghost scares the shit out of you to make clear there's plenty of other weird and powerful things going bump in the night.

The Victorian · Jan 9, 2019

Part 7 - The Two-Faced Baron

When we last left off, we were exploring the eXtReMeLy SpOoKy Ocean House Hotel, haunted by the ghosts of a husband and the family he murdered. After killing his wife and children, he set fire to the hotel before taking his own life. Now their spirits are trapped in this place, and we've got to find a way to exorcise them.

As we make our way through the one of the hotel rooms the walls suddenly erupt with ghostly purple flames:

Although as a vampire, FIRE = BAD, this ghostly fire cannot actually hurt you.

We then come to a seemingly impassible suite...

...but when we move forward, reality shifts somehow, taking us back into the past, and letting us see the hotel in its original grandeur:

The painting above the bed is Love and Pain, by Edvard Much, albeit mirrored horizontally and with the woman's hair coloured green for some reason. A lot of people assumed the painting depicts a man in a vampire's embrace (to the point where it's used on the cover of my copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula), but Munch himself insisted that it was "just a woman kissing a man on the neck."

We find a pendant belonging to the murdered wife sitting on a stand:

When we pick it up, reality once again shifts back to the present day. Time to get out of this crazy place.

On the whole, while the Ocean House Hotel loses a lot of its impact on subsequent play-throughs, it's still wonderfully atmospheric, and it reminds me a lot of the Shalebridge Cradle from Thief: Deadly Shadows. At any rate, it's an interesting inversion of the player's status as a big bad vampire: Normally you would be the scary thing that goes bump in the night, but suddenly you find yourself being spooked by a mere haunted house.

(Also, the Ocean House Hotel is a real place, albeit located in Rhode Island instead of Santa Monica)

We head back to the Asylum nightclub, only to find that Therese isn't in right now:

If we tell Jeanette that we need to give the pendant to Therese, she will ask to see it, and it's imperative that you do not give it to her. Remember that Jeanette is obsessed with ruining her sister's plans, so if you give her the pendant she'll throw it into the ocean, meaning the ghosts at the hotel can never be exorcised.

If you refuse to hand it over, however, Jeanette suddenly gets weepy:

Jeanette: I'm not just some silly doll, you know. [Sobs] All my life my sister has made me out to be a joke. She told you I was an embarrassment, didn't she? That I couldn't tie my shoes, let alone hold on to something for her. Is that it? [Sobbing] She's always belittling me. She's the smart one, she's the favorite, she's the successful one. Well, it's not fair! I'm not a fool! This club's success is just as much my doing as it is hers! Do you understand what it's like to have your own flesh and blood ripping you apart on a daily basis for two lifetimes? Can you?

Again, despite her sobbing, you really don't want to hand it over.

Jeanette: Fine. You hold on to it. Hmm. . .since you were so willing to brave that big, spooky place for my darling sister, how about doing a teensy, tiny favor for little, troubled me?

All right, fine, whatever.

Jeanette: Do you know Gallery Noir, down the street? I happen to know there's a charity event being organized there. Lots of the influential Santa Monicans slithering in for token appearances. But there's one thing they don't know...The whole event's been set up by a Kindred trying to establish their own power clique in our city. And we can't let that happen, can we? So I need some brilliant young upstart to spoil the milk.

So...vandalism, is it?

Jeanette: I promise this won't take long. Take this knife. Give the paintings in the gallery a good slashing. Don't get caught and don't turn it into a massacre. And steal the charity box, would you? Buy yourself something velvet.

Fine, I'll slash the paintings, but nicking some charity donations?

Jeanette: It's not what you think. Every pretty penny dropped in that box is going right into some other Kindred's purse. You'd be crooking from a dirty steal.

(Picking this dialogue option means you won't lose humanity when you actually steal the charity box)

Jeanette: I'm sure Therese will be thrilled to honor your agreement when you get back. But in the meantime, get to the museum and ruin those paintings, then come back. I want to hear all about it. . .Hurry up, I can only amuse myself for so long. Oh, and there was something about the paintings. . . [Thinking to self] What was it. . . [gives up] Hmm, I can't remember - oh, well, have fun, duckling!

Uh...that sounds a bit ominous, doesn't it?

Anyway, we could head over to this "Gallery Noir" (in proper French that would be Galerie Noire), but first let's take care of that asian vampire that's been following Knox, shall we?

Our quarry dropped a driver's licence belonging to one "Virgil Crumb," whose body we found in the Santa Monica morgue. On the body we found a key to a locale named "Foxy Boxes." We head to this location, which is a seemingly-abandoned warehouse with a powered-up laptop in one of the offices:

Under "Reports" we find the following entries:

10/12/04: My initial observations of the city indicate that the Cainites here are both scattered and unorganized. There are three individuals of note, but they seem to be involved in some sort of dispute. I shall continue to watch and listen.

10/18/04: These Cainites are a curious and fragile race. They waste the gift of their immortality on petty schemings and fleshly gain. We will have little problem making this city our own.

10/21/04: It seems that my presence here has been noted by one of the Cainites, a 'Nosferatu' I believe they are called. He has entrusted the responsibility of my surveillance to a bumbling mortal fool. I have begun to follow this so-called spy...a small, amusing respite from my usual duties.

10/23/04: It seems that I have drawn the attention of a newcomer, an agent of the prince. I know very little about this individual, but they seem much more resourceful than most Cainites I have observed. I will prepare myself in the event that our paths cross.

10/24/04: The agent of whom I spoke before has discovered the corpse of Virgil Crumb. An altercation seems imminent. If I do not survive, let my last report state that Santa Monica is ripe for the taking. You will find little resistance if we come here in force.

When we head into the next room, we're confronted with the "asian vampire" himself:

The game calls him a "Cathayan" (an old-fashioned word for Chinese people), and this fight can be a bit rough if you're unprepared. He's armed with a katana, which can put out a decent amount of damage, and when you get close he'll jump up on top of the crates and shoot you with a crossbow.

Our Fortitude discipline lets us soak up his damage, and we best this "Cathayan" handily. Once he's dead we pry his katana from his cold, dead hands (well, deader hands):

Using a katana? Tsk tsk...what a weeb. And not even using a proper nihonto, either...just a mass-produced knock-off. That's even more weebish!

We head back to Knox and let him know the good news:

Knox informs us that a whole lot of these asian vampires have been coming to California lately...oooh, foreshadowing!

One thing I'm still curious about, however, is why this asian vampire had Virgil Crumb's driver's licence in the first place. It seems like the developers needed to create a trail of crumbs that would lead us to his hideout without bothering to connect those crumbs.

Now that we're finished with this quest, let's go slash those paintings, shall we?

As we approach the gallery, however, we're confronted with a security guard:

This is Officer Chunk, and we'll be seeing a bit of him later. Right now we can just bluff our way past by pretending to be the gallery director.

This isn't some ordinary art gallery, however. This is some spooky, vampy art gallery:

There are four paintings in the gallery, titled "Caine Slays Abel," "Caine Cursed By God," "Caine Meets Lilith," and "Caine Spurns Lilith." You have to slash the paintings in that order, otherwise you'll get the message "BOTCH" and you'll have to do it again.

Now you might be wondering "Isn't 'Caine' usually spelled 'Cain?' And I don't remember him hooking up with Lilith in the Bible!" Well, in the World of Darkness, it's generally believed that the biblical Cain (now spelled Caine for some reason) was the father of all vampires, and the curse and mark of Cain is actually vampirism.

After slashing all the paintings, something ominous begins to appear in the middle of the room:

This is a "Blood Guardian," (presumably a Tremere creation), which takes the form of a humanoid composed entirely of blood. I failed to get any screenshots of the fight, but like the battle with the Cathayan it can be a bit difficult if you haven't increased your combat stats. The Blood Guardian deals aggravated damage (indicated by yellow on your health bar) which takes much longer to heal than regular damage, but once again our Fortitude discipline proves to be a lifesaver.

When we head back to the Asylum, however, we're confronted by a very pissed-off Therese:

So it would seem that Jeanette duped us into wrecking another one of her sister's plans.

Therese: Shut up! I thought I could control my sister as long as Tung was out of the picture, but nothing's changed! I should have expected that you'd succumb to Jeanette's influence like all the others. But how dare you!

Uh, that wasn't me. It was someone else who looked exactly like me, I swear!

Therese: Don't lie to me! Jeanette already confessed she tricked you into doing it! It was probably all Tung's idea - I'll deal with them later. But that's still no excuse for your ruining my museum.

We can pass a speech check to convince her that we weren't responsible (along with handing over the pendant from the Ocean House Hotel).

Therese: Jeanette claimed you did it for her - but let's say I believe you. After all, you've acted decently and rationally up to now. I imagine you'd still like me to call off the feud?

Yes, please.

Therese: There's only one problem. If Tung gets word that I threatened Jeanette, which he most certainly already has, it's not likely he'll believe me. So, in order to call off the feud, you're going to have to convince Jeanette to forgive me first. I made some threats against my sister. Idle threats - involving fire and her impious satin sheets. . .she took them quite seriously and is avoiding me. I want to meet with her and explain that they were said in the heat of the moment. I asked her to meet me at the Surfside diner, to reconcile, but I'm busy with the club and my other endeavors. I'd like you to go to the diner and promise her that I don't plan to take any action against her. Wait for her in the back booth, near the phones.

Why do I get the feeling this is some sort of set-up?

Sure enough, when we head off to the diner, we find a bunch of thugs loitering about who open fire as soon as we approach the phones:

One of them is armed with a shotgun, which can put out some serious hurt if you're not careful. Once they're dealt with, Therese gives us a call:

(And once again the phone animation glitches out, leaving us holding empty air up to our ear)

Before Therese hangs up we hear Jeanette scream "She's crazy! Help!" Ugh, I am getting quite tired of being jerked around by these twos. Let's head back to the Asylum and see what they have to say for themselves:

But as soon as we enter Therese's office...

It turns out that Jeanette and Therese are the same person!

The Victorian · Jan 21, 2019

Part 8 - Let's Blow This Joint

In our last episode we had just learned that Jeanette and Therese Voerman are, in fact, the same person. Remember how Therese's ghoul, Vandal Cleaver, always seemed to be on the brink of homicidal rage? Well, that's likely because Therese isn't a Ventrue, as we initially suspected, but a dissociatiave Malkavian.

We're in a bit of a sticky situation, as both sides of her personality are fighting with each other, and unless we intervene one of them is likely to "kill" the other.

The game does an interesting bit of camera work where it switches between both sides of her face to indicate which personality is speaking:

Jeanette: You never gave me any credit for anything, Therese! I was the one calling the shots! Bertram was dancing on my leash! How does it feel to know that I beat you?

At the risk of asking a question with an obvious answer, why are the two of you fighting?

Therese: Isn't it obvious? I'm about to rid the night of this deviant, backstabbing whore! Do you realize that, despite her condition, she still. . .fornicates. . .with kine, no less! So despicable. . .so unclean.

"Kine" (literally, "cattle") is the vampire term for humans, and from what I understand vampires can't really have sex in the way humans can (although I might very well be wrong on that). Nor are they really interested in sex - the lust for blood is all-consuming.

Jeanette: You're one to talk, dear sister, or should I say Daddy's little girl. Do you want to know just how depraved the baron of Santa Monica can be?
Therese: Shut up, Jeanette!
Jeanette: You'd love the world to think you're a saint. . .when you thought I was asleep, I used to hear father come in at night. . .I heard him whisper how much he loved you in your ear before he. . .
Therese: Don't finish that sentence or you're dead!

Well damn, that got dark in a hurry. Both of you need to stop this, right now!

Jeanette: Don't you want to hear what happened? How she became the pillar of the community she is today?
Therese: Shut up! Just shut up!

I said stop it!

Therese: Don't try and stop me. I've had to overlook her treachery, her seduction - relations, with my enemies, and the consequences of it. . .but I won't endure her any longer.
Jeanette: Endure me? Dear sister, you've done everything you could to smother me. You'd love to bury me in your closet, along with all your other skeletons.
Therese: I'm the good girl. You're the wicked one. You've done nothing but plot against me when I had our best interests at heart. And despite that, I've always covered up your mistakes. I've taken care of you. And this is how you repay me?
Jeanette: Taken care of me? You've done nothing but keep me down, blamed me for every mistake - did you expect me to let you rule my life until the end of time? No, sister, you've had it coming since our last sunrise.
Therese: Is that right, dear? If it wasn't for me, you would have never survived this long. Remember? They tried to separate us, but I refused. I chose this life and I brought you into it so that we could stay together. Obviously, you've forgotten.

(Throughout this conversation we can use our persuasion skill to try and get the two halves of her to reconcile)

You're both going to have to learn to live with each other if you want to keep on existing, you know.

Jeanette: She's a control freak! People, things, emotions - and if she can't control something, she gets rid of it.
Therese: And you're a wild animal! You'll rub up against anything that'll take you in for the night, then, when you're stuffed and bored, you bite the hand that fed you.

You'd be a lot more powerful if you could just learn to work together.

Therese: I don't think that's possible. How could I ever think to trust her again?
Jeanette: Trust me? Who could trust you after what happened with Father dearest?
Therese: Father loved me. I was a good girl. I always did what I was told. You always hated that he loved me. You disobeyed him. You brought men home when he wasn't there. You were an awful daughter to him.

So what did happen with your father, anyway? Somehow I know I won't like the answer.

Jeanette: Father came home drunk one day and mistook me for Therese, because I had fallen asleep in her bed.
Therese: Don't listen to her! She's lying!
Jeanette: Therese walked in while he was there and she saw me lying with him. And so, she went to the closet and she pulled out his hunting shotgun, loaded it with deershot, and blew his mind out all over the silly clown wallpaper.
Therese: That's a lie! Father killed himself because of Jeanette. She made him miserable!
Jeanette: As I recall, he died with a smile on his face.

As horrible as that is, it's in the past now, and you need to move on. Think of how powerful you'd be with your combined efforts!

Therese: Why? How will this time be any different?
Jeanette: Therese doesn't like to share.
Therese: Jeanette's irresponsible. She's undependable. A venture like mine requires class and distinction, which is something a pig-tailed, face-painting harlot does not lend very well.
Jeanette: You do have a way with words, sister. You're right, I'm not in the same class, am I? I mean, murderers are so respectful these days.

All right, let's try to work out a compromise. Therese, you can give Jeanette some more responsibility...

Therese: More responsibility? So that she can ruin every opportunity I give her?
Jeanette:Of course. You're the only one who can secure zoning permits and shake hands. I'd never be able to keep up!

Ooooohh, burned!

*Ahem.* And in exchange, Jeanette can stop meddling in the affairs of her "sister."

Jeanette: But I only do it for attention, and out of love!
Therese: You do it because you're vindictive and jealous.

If you'll call a truce and run this place equally, there's no need to kill each other.

Jeanette: If she would stop treating me like a child!
Therese: If she would start behaving like a rational adult!

There must have been a time where you got along, wasn't there?

Jeanette: Yes. . .there was a time.
Therese: When I was a child. . .I didn't have many friends. I suppose Jeanette was the only one. We never did get to go out of the house much. Father wouldn't allow us-
Jeanette: . . .He said we'd get hurt. So we stayed inside and we imagined our own worlds. And we spent so much time there, together, ruling over those places. Those were-
Therese: Happier times. Before we grew apart.

You don't really want to kill each other, do you?

Jeanette: I never did.
Therese: No. . .I guess I don't. Jeanette. . .if I were to give - offer - you equal control in Santa Monica, would you quit consorting with Tung?
Jeanette: I'll stop working against you with him. . .but since I've got him in my pocket already, there's no reason for me not to pay him a visit once in a while, when he can be of use.
Therese: That's not a bad plan. There's just one more thing. I want to be in charge of Santa Monica - but only publicly. I want you to continue to convince others that are relations are strained. That way-
Jeanette: . . .We know who our enemies are. I agree.

Could you give me the gun, please?

Therese: Take it. I'd hate to look at it again and think of what almost transpired. . .I suppose now that Jeanette and I have settled out our differences, I'll call off the feud with Tung.
Jeanette: Bertram's hiding in an empty oil tank at the old gas station. I'll tell him to expect a visitor and I'll ask him to be extra nice. And keep your tongue tied tight about what happened tonight or we'll have to-

At the very end of the conversation, they say the words "kill you" in both voices simultaneously:

There's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment where the subtitles refer to speaker of the line as "Tourette," and the dialogue file for this entire conversation is titled "tourette.dlg".

So not only did we uncover the true identity of Therese/Jeanette, we also managed to convince them to cease their little feud. Not too bad for a vampire newbie, isn't it?

Of course, we are left with some nagging questions. Did their split personality develop before or after their embrace? It seems to me that Therese/Jeanette developed dissociative identity disorder as a means of coping with the sexual abuse inflicted on them by their father, and that becoming a Malkavian only exacerbated it, but the truth remains ambiguous. There's also the question of which personality, Jeanette or Therese, was the original.

I do have to give the writers credit for bringing up a difficult subject matter in a way that doesn't seem as if it were introduced solely for the sake of being "mature" or "edgy."

With that out of the way, we can finally meet this Bertram Tung we've heard so much about and...

...GOOD GOD!

When you get to this stage of syphillis, you're probably beyond all hope of a cure.

...oh wait, you don't have syphillis, you're just a Nosferatu.

Bertram: Don't bother with the introductions fledgling, I know who you are.

Do you, now?

Bertram: News travels down the Kindred grapevine like wildfire and that courtroom spat between LaCroix and Nines Rodriguez is a juicy little morsel, and you in the middle... how interesting.

Mercurio said you know in a way into the warehouse we're supposed to blow up.

Bertram: I've been watching the place. The Sabbat has a bunch of lowlife humans working day and night to move stuff through there... There's some major staging going on.

Goddamn HUMANS!

But it's just humans there, right?

Bertram: As far as I can tell. The humans seem to know the score from the way they've been talking. I think most of them have aspirations of joining the next graduating class of shovelheads. Ugh, losers.

"Shovelhead" is a derogatory term for the Sabbat, as their intiation rite involves beating someone over the head (typically with a shovel) and burying them alive. And it would seem that the Sabbat have no interest in upholding the Masquerade...

Bertram: Yes. The Sabbat like everyone to know just who they're dealing with. So if you get in there and have to bust a few heads don't feel bad- think of it as 'upholding the masquerade.'

All right, can you get us in?

Bertram: Yes I can. Just tell me when you are ready and we'll leave. Once you're there, however, you're on your own. You'll have to get into the place and plant the explosives in the middle office to take the whole structure down.

Then let's do this!

The warehouse is part of a disused rail depot, and in order to maximise our experience gain we must avoid killing anyone. This isn't too hard, as must of the thugs guarding this place seem to be both deaf and blind.

This depot must have been in disuse for a long time, because they've got a bloody steam locomotive in one of the train sheds!

We make our way into the attic, and creep across the girders...

We drop down onto one of the catwalks, and make our way into the main office, where we plant the explosives we've apparently been carrying around in our backpack this entire time:

We've got three minutes to get our ass out of here - which isn't as difficult as it sounds.

As soon as the explosives go off, we hear a loud howl, and are approached by a strange, wolf-like creature:

The wolf then shape-shifts into the figure of a man...

AHH! WEREWOLF!

This is Beckett, a Gangrel who is a scholar of sorts regarding the vampiric condition. Remember how Rosa, the thin-blooded Malkavian, told us that the two people we could trust are "the man on the couch" and "the lone wolf?" Well, Becket is the lone wolf. He speaks every single sentence in a tone of sardonic sarcasm, but he never comes off as being condescending or rude.

Beckett: I see my reputation, for once, does not precede me. My name is Beckett. I haven't been following you per say, we've just coincidentally been at the same places at the same time for different reasons. So sorry if I unnerved you. Tell me, have you by chance seen or felt anything strange since your embrace?

Oh man, you have no idea. Well, where to begin? For starters, there was this haunted hotel...

Beckett: A ghost? Quite ordinary. I generally pay wraiths no mind. All but a few are willing to give up their secrets.

Uhh...I met some thin-bloods by the Santa Monica pier?

Beckett: Thin Bloods. . .they're a fascination of mine. They are considered a weaker, more human-like Kindred, hence the name Thin Blood - but they are sired same as any of us. I've heard a large concentration of them live in this city - they're one of the reasons I'm in Los Angeles.

Did you know that the baron of Santa Monica had a split personality? (Oops, I forgot we weren't supposed to talk about that!)

Beckett: She's undoubtedly Malkavian. Or should I say, they are undoubtedly Malkavian.

So why you are asking if we've seen anything unusual, anyway?

Beckett: Most of my contacts here report sensing something unusual in the night air, like a sense of dread or pressure. . .but I'm not a native to these parts, so I can't tell if it's irregular - and since you're still fresh, perhaps you're not attuned to it. Pleasure meeting your acquaintance, but there are rumblings for me to discredit. We shall, I'm certain, meet again. Or never again. Goodnight, young one. . .and be careful, you're very likely being hunted by the Sabbat.

We'll be meeting him again, no doubt. But for now, let us bask in the satisfaction of a job well done. And I'm sure the Sabbat will never find out that we blew up their warehouse...

Avernus · Jan 21, 2019

The Victorian said:
Therese: Isn't it obvious? I'm about to rid the night of this deviant, backstabbing whore! Do you realize that, despite her condition, she still. . .fornicates. . .with kine, no less! So despicable. . .so unclean.

"Kine" (literally, "cattle") is the vampire term for humans, and from what I understand vampires can't really have sex in the way humans can (although I might very well be wrong on that). Nor are they really interested in sex - the lust for blood is all-consuming.

FYI if you have high enough Seduction and meet some other requirements it is possible to have sex with Jeanette, although no details are given. She just says that it's a "little different" than mortal sex and the screen goes dark.

Then again she is a crazy Malkavian.

Reveen · Jan 22, 2019

Therese raises interesting questions because she's a Malkavian, which according to White Wolf makes them "irredeemably insane". Which certainly isn't a portrayal very friendly to people with mental illness. Here was have the possibility of Malks being able to get better and deal with their disorders, which is certainly a lot better. The Male protagonist is also interesting because it's hard to see them as "insane", like they have their faculties and they're clearly able to deal with the situation. Just very, very, very, very strange and in their own world.

And I really like Beckett, specifically because I have a big thing for stories where other characters who could be protagonists with stories and histories in their own right briefly intersect with that of the protagonist, where it feels more like a world full of different people going on their adventures instead of just some Bioware style static world made specifically for the protagonist to run around in.

You don't like the Witcher. But Witcher 3 has a very cool instance of this with the character Joachim von Gratz.

It does help that Beckett is a character from the RPG sourcebooks.

The Victorian · Feb 1, 2019

Part 9 - New Friends, New Enemies

When we last left off, we had just finishing blowing up a Sabbat warehouse. We also met Beckett, the coolest cat (err...wolf) in the game. Time to report back to Bertram Tung and tell him the good news:

Now we can pick his brain (not literally, of course) about all manner of things regarding the World of Darkness. For starters, we can tell him about how we met his ghoul, Knox:

Bertram: I know ya did. Sharp kid; can track like a bloodhound. I watched him work for a while before I approached him. I had no idea how...eager he would be to help.

Did you know he wanted me to track down some "asian vampire"?

Bertram: I knew you would. I had him watching you-know-who for me; it was inevitable you'd pass through her joint. I told him to keep an eye out for you, gave him the lines to feed you, the whole bit.

Okay, but did you also know that I saw right through it?

Bertram: Hmph. Damned Ventrue blood. Gotta be on top of everything don't ya?

Score one for me!

So let's ask him about the various people and factions at play in Los Angeles. First up...Lacroix's "sheriff:"

Bertram: He's LaCroix's iron fist. No one 'knows' the Sheriff really except LaCroix. No one even knows the guy's name. There's lots of rumors about him though. I heard LaCroix picked him up in Africa over a hundred years ago. Obviously, they work well together.

What about Nines Rodriguez, the guy who called out Lacroix in the theatre?

Bertram: From what I hear he's a likable sort, and that's a problem. Nines Rodriguez is the kind of guy you want on your side and more Kindred go Anarch every day cuzza him.

Now let's ask him about the individual clans. First up, the Brujah:

Bertram: They're a bunch of malcontents. They get pumped up by rousing the rabble they keep around them, like that's hard. Nothing breeds faster than contempt, and that's what the Brujah are all about. Jealousy and contempt.

On the Gangrel:

Bertram: They fancy themselves loners and drifters, running the countryside and barking at the moon. Hmph. It's all just an act. Gangrel can walk upright, they just choose not too.

On the Malkavians:

Bertram: Malkavians are... interesting. There's something to them. Learning to sort the wisdom from the bullshit can be some work and not all of them are worth listening to, but they are all good fun if you ask me.

On the Nosferatu:

Bertram: The Nosferatu are damn good at what we do; no one even argues that. If you need to know, if you want it found, you come to us. We're indispensable; not a bad place to be in the afterlife. The Nosferatu stick together, pool resources; we have more going on than anyone could guess at. Our web blankets the night.

On the Toreadors:

Bertram: Hmph. I don't rub elbows with the pretty bloodsuckers much, but I've seen them work people like puppeteers and that's admirable. Now if only they would get off their slimy asses and put their talent to some use besides feeding their egos.

On the Tremere:

Bertram: Mages. I don't have any reason to trust them. They're creepy and I think they like it that way. But to be honest, I don't hear much about the Tremere. There's a few in L.A. but all in all there's not that many of them.

On the Ventrue:

Bertram: They get a bad rap if you ask me. Everyone likes to take shots at the man in charge but when it comes to getting the job done the Ventrue know how to step up. They can take the heat.

You're just saying that because I'm a Ventrue, right?

Bertram: Yeah right. I'm talking about the powerful Ventrue, you're just a pup.

Oh, we'll see about that.

You mentioned a group called the "Anarchs." Who are they, exactly?

Bertram: The Anarchs... I respect what they do, strenuous liberty and all that jazz, but they're kidding themselves. Wherever there's an ounce of power to be had there will be people dicking each other over. You think the Camarilla invented that?

What is your opinion on the Camarilla, then?

Bertram: The Camarilla works. When you let vampires run wild you wind up with Caitiff frenzying in the streets, thin-bloods blowing the masquerade, and hunters sniffing around. Law and order is the Kindred's friend.

Who or what are "Caitiff"?

Bertram: Caitiff are just riff-raff vampires who don't know anything about vampire society, don't know their clan; mutt vampires: what I suspect you were perilously close to becoming if LaCroix hadn't intervened.

All right, what about the Sabbat?

Bertram: You ask me, the Sabbat makes no sense. They couldn't care less about the Masquerade, and they seem to care even less about themselves. It's like, "Hey! Let's all spread hell on earth so we can feel big and bad- oops! I'm dead! How did that happen?

We've gotten enough exposition out of him, so now it's time to head downtown and report to LaCroix for our next assignment. Before we go, however, we check our computer and find a rather cryptic email in our inbox:

It's quite clear that we're the "pawn," so who, then, is this "white king"?

To get to the other sections of the city, we talk to cab driver outside, which brings up a map of LA:

Right now only two locations are marked, but more will be opening up later.

Unfortunately, as soon as we get out of the cab we're knocked unconscious by someone with a baseball bat:

It would appear the Sabbat found out we were responsible for blowing up their warehouse, and boy are they pissed:

One of the Sabbat then turns to face the camera, addressing the player directly:

Before they can carry out their dastardly deeds, however, Nines Rodriguez interrupts the proceedings with a gunshot:

Ah yes, the venerable Desert Eagle, commonly deployed by video games as an example of TEH MOST POWERFUL GUN IN TEH WORLD!!!11!1!!!. In reality, it's a bulky, overpriced range toy that's prone to jamming, not to mention being ludicrously overpowered for pretty much any purpose. Then again, we don't have to deal with vampires in reality, either.

Rodriguez drives off the trio of Sabbat by threatening to blow up them up with a grenade, though one of them tries to rush him while he's talking to us:

Nines: Should've been more careful, newbie. This ain't the burbs.

Yeah, I get that.

Nines: Kid, I got things to deal with. Why don't you pay me a visit at the Last Round tonight. I don't know what you've heard so far, but it's time you heard the real story.

So I think we've sussed out who the "white king" is. The only question is, how did the Sabbat find out we destroyed their warehouse? After all, it seemed like we covered our tracks rather well.

So this is downtown LA. I've never been to the real city, but its depiction here definitely emphasises that this is the World of Darkness. Everything is dirty and decrepit, there are thugs and homeless people all over the place, and occasionally you'll see gunfights breaking out.

LaCroix is located inside an office building, whose lobby seems suspicious similar to the lobby seen during the famous gunfight scene in The Matrix:

The bloke working security is none other than Officer Chunk, whom we encountered earlier in Santa Monica:

Well good for you. Anyway, we're here to see LaCroix:

Chunk: Would that be Sebastian LaCroix of the LaCroix Foundation, or Dwayne LaCroix of Insurrection Baby Formula Company?

The one being run by a mincing wanker, of course.

Chunk: Yeah, uh, you have a good power meeting or whatever it is you types do up there. You need any security, why you just ring the front desk and ask for Officer Chunk. That's me, case you were wondering.

"Chunk"?

Chunk: Ah, yeah, I get that all the time. The name goes back to my football days, well, uh, actually my fantasy football days. . . at the station. . . stationarium - that was this office supply outlet mall I used to watch. Hey, you kids - no skating in the parking lot! That was me.

We take the lift up to LaCroix's penthouse, and compared to the sterile aesthetic of the lobby this place has a rather baroque look to it:

I imagine that Kindred's aesthetic preferences probably date from the time when they were embraced, and so the penthouse decor serves as a clue as to how old LaCroix is.

If we look up, we see a number of paintings on the wall:

The leftmost painting is Cain Slaying Abel by Rubens, mirrored horizontally for some reason. (You can clearly tell it's a Rubens work by the sheer chunkiness of the people depicted). The middle painting is Cain and Abel by José Vergara (also mirrored horizontally). The rightmost painting is Le Chancelier Séguier by Chares Le Brun, and like the others it's been flipped horizontally.

Given the connection between the biblical Cain and vampires, the choice of the first two painting is clear, but why would LaCroix have a painting of some 17th century French chancellor? Well, perhaps will find out later.

I should point out that LaCroix has a strange accent, at least to my ears. He sounds like someone trying to be British, but his pronunciation doesn't quite overcome the "American-ness" of his real accent.

I guess it's time to play the part of a good little obsequious bootlicker and tell him what he wants to hear. We did indeed destroy the warehouse:

LaCroix: Most excellent. I had no doubt you'd prove my decision a prudent one. I trust you encountered no impediments to your progress on account of my personnel?

At this point we can rat out Mercurio regarding his loss of the Astrolite, but there's really no point in doing so. Instead, we simply point out that the Kindred of Santa Monica were a little two-faced...in more ways than one:

LaCroix: A taste of what's to come. . .you have no idea. You've done well - circumstances being what they were. I will admit, not many in your position would have overcome such a trial. . .but don't misunderstand me, it was no fool's errand. You may yet prove to be a genuine asset. It's disturbing, the lack of talent within this organization as of late - tell me, what would you say to doing a bit of reconnaisance for me?

It sounds as though we're to experience what people in the military call "being voluntold." So we reply with a "Sir, yes sir!"

LaCroix: Excellent. Were you by chance in the military at all? I was an officer myself, actually, in Napoleon's ranks.

How do much do you want to bet that this idiot was responsible for his defeat at Waterloo?

LaCroix: There's been whispers, rumors spreading around the Kindred community concerning the Elizabeth Dane, the cargo ship that was towed into port recently. Have you heard of it?

The Elizabeth Dane? Wasn't that the ship from the movie The Fog?

LaCroix: The Dane was found out at sea - the reports say it was without crew, but they have yet to report a fate of said crew. The police are investigating the Dane as we speak. Even the Nosferatu have little information on what's been found, however the reason the ship has caused such speculation, is because it was transporting an object called the Ankaran Sarcophagus. Now, I'm not one to predicate a decision based on conjecture, so what I need is fact - and more importantly, I need evidence that the occurences on the Dane were not supernatural in nature, and in no way relate to this Ankaran Sarcophagus.

So what do you need me to do? (You can try to refuse, but he'll just use Dominate to mind-zonk you into complying)

LaCroix: You have three objectives. One, I want you to examine the Sarcophagus for anything unusual - you may sense something peculiar about the sarcophagus - in fact, many Kindred in the city have reported an uneasiness in the air since the Dane's arrival. Do not, under any circumstances, open the Ankaran Sarcophagus. Secondly - the police have begun their investigation. Find out what they have concluded thus far. Thirdly - take the cargo manifest for the ship. I want to find out what else it was carrying. The last thing we want is police aware of our existence - so be careful what you do in front of them. And unlike the warehouse, you cannot wholesale slaughter a ship full of lawmen without consequences. Is this understood?

Crystal clear, sir.

LaCroix: Oh, and it has come to my attention that you had an encounter with Nines Rodriguez earlier. The man so does love to throw that cretinous charm of his brashly about - what exactly did Mr. Rodriguez say?

Just to visit him at the Last Round, that's all.

LaCroix: Consider it a lesson. You see, we Ventrue sometimes must take it upon ourselves to patronize the rabble and hear them out with a look of genuine concern, no matter how ridiculous their notions may be.

So we have a new quest, though there are many more side-quests to do downtown. The most obvious question, however, is how can set about undermining LaCroix's authority at every possible turn?

The Victorian · Feb 9, 2019

Part 10 - Anarchy in L.A.

When we last left off, we had just been given a new assignment by "Prince" LaCroix: investigate the Elizabeth Dane and ensure there was nothing sPoOkY going on. Before we do that, however, we should get ourselves acquainted with the local factions. As you've probably guessed by now, there are several groups of Kindred vying for power in this city, and eventually we'll have to choose which one we want to side with...or do we?

Walking around the dirty streets of LA, we come across some people in hazmat suits, along with a truck bearing some graffiti that reads "Urban and Environmental Devastation" in Italian:

As we walk along the streets, we see someone with a large afro standing by a truck parked in an alleyway. Let's investigate, shall we?

Fat Larry: I am the proprietor and salesman of the month several years in a row, the ladies call me 'oh, god!' but you can call me Fat Larry with a F-A-T 'cause there's more of me to love.

(If your character is male, he'll say "you can call me Fat Larry with a F-A-T 'cause I know I got a weight problem and I just don't give a fuck.")

So what is it you sell, Larry?

Fat Larry: Now that is a legitimate question, but a better question would be, what don't I got in this truck? 'Cause at Fat Larry's, my motto is - everything's got a price, but I probably know someone who can get it anyway.

All right, let's have a look:

Fat Larry: Now that's what I like to hear. But it's like this - I save my best stuff for select clientele - now that don't mean I don't appreciate your business, it's just, you know, business.

It turns out he sells guns, ammunition, and a new set of body armour. I know that the United States has a rather liberal gun policy compared to other countries, but something tells me you can't just go around selling guns out of the back of a truck.

Remember how, back in Santa Monica, we picked up a quest to track down someone named "Muddy"? We found a message on his answering machine, telling him to go the Skyline Apartments downtown to meet someone named Sean Milton. Now that we've reached the downtown area, we can actually head over to the Skyline Apartments and continue our investigation.

This is our new set of armour, though I use the word "armour" hesitantly, since it doesn't look very protective at all. Still, it's better than the armour that female Malkavians get, which consists entirely of fetish gear.

Something I noticed about the Skyline Apartments is that the first floor is referred to as the ground floor, while the floor above that is called the first floor. From what I understand, this is how floor numbering works in the UK, not the US.

Oh, and did I mention that every NPC living in this apartment is going to die, and that we'll be involved in their deaths in one way or another?

We enter Milton's apartment, which sure looks a lot nicer than the dump we're currently inhabiting:

The police chalk outline on the floor does seem a bit suspicious, however.

We find an answering machine, and play back the last message:

Answering machine: Mr. Milton. You know who this is and I do hope you realize that we're still on for tonight. Meet me at the agreed upon location, across from the bar by the underpass. Bring your associate Mr. Durbin as it is a two-man job that I am proposing. With any luck the two of you are already on your way and I shall see you soon. Goodbye.

We'll follow this up later. When we first arrived at our apartment in Santa Monica, we found a cryptic note from someone named Strauss, the local Tremere regent. He said that we could find him downtown "where burns the mystical sun." Well, there's a building with a strange, glowing light in the window...perhaps that was what he was talking about?

Sure enough, this is the Tremere's LA haven. The interior is confusing and a bit maze-like, but if we poke around eventually we'll find whom were looking for:

And you are...?

Strauss: Strauss. Maximillian Strauss. I am the Regent of this chantry. Welcome.

Chantry? Oh god, I'm getting Dragon Age flashbacks!

Strauss: A chantry is a local gathering place for those of the Tremere clan. I live here, as do apprentices from time to time.

And what does the title of "Regent" mean, exactly?

Strauss: A Regent is the leader of a chantry, as well as a teacher to young Tremere apprentices who are studying the mysteries of our clan.

All right, then. So, what's the word on the street?

Strauss: Let me give you some advice, young one. Your survival in Kindred society will often depend on your ability to find out yourself what is going on around you. Remember that well...

This is actually rather sound advice. Nearly everyone in this game has an agenda, and will seek to manipulate you to their own ends. Knowing that, how can you trust anything anyone says?

Strauss: As for what is going on here in downtown, the word on everyone's lips, kindred or kine, seems to be 'epidemic'. It seems that disease has been spreading at an alarming rate throughout the downtown population. Considering our particular...appetites...the local kindred are more than concerned about these developments.

We have a rather humorous dialogue option at this point, especially considering the gravity of the conversation:

Strauss: Yes, indeed. My opinion is that the local anarchs are responsible for these outbreaks. Their precipitous indulgence of certain passions often leads to such things. Ergo, their need for the watchful eye of the Camarilla...

Well this sure sounds like a quest to me! Want me to look into it?

Strauss: Hmmm. An interesting proposition. If you succeed in finding the cause of this epidemic and putting an end to it, I will compensate you appropriately for your efforts.

We have a deal, then.

Strauss: Very well. Again, I recommend speaking with the anarchs. You can find most of them at the local watering hole, reveling in the vices of their former lives. I believe the place is called 'The Last Round'.

Before we go, however, let's see what kind of information we can get out of Mr. Strauss. No doubt it will be biased, but it should be interesting nonetheless.

First, let's ask about the Camarilla:

Strauss: The Camarilla? It is merely a kindred sect that exists to protect its members from the outside world. There are specific codes of behavior that we abide by in order to insure the continuance of our species. It is nothing more and nothing less.

Are all clans part of the Camarilla?

Strauss: No. There are many independent clans who are not aligned with the Camarilla. And the Sabbat is another sect of various vampire clans who believe very differently from those in the Camarilla. Unsavory sorts, to say the least. I understand you have already run afoul of them...

Yeah, and it's a good thing Nines Rodriguez showed up to bail me out, too.

Strauss: Ah, yes. The infamous Mr. Rodriguez. I understand you owe him your life twice now. Had he not intervened, the Prince would have surely had that hound of his separate your head from your shoulders. In any case, it's a shame that Rodriguez cannot see the wisdom of the Camarilla. He would make a powerful ally. As it is, he is a significant thorn in LaCroix's side, which serves my purposes just the same...

Interesting...I take it you're not a fan of LaCroix, then?

Strauss: LaCroix is a prince, neonate, and a Ventrue on top of that. Even if he weren't as young and indiscriminate as he's already proven himself to be, I...but I say too much. Let us just say that he and I have differing ideas on the use of power.

It's okay, you can tell me. I am 100% trustworthy.

Strauss: Hmmm. Well, without saying too much, I think that Sebastian LaCroix lacks the usual discretion necessary to be a prince. I see in him a lust for power that overshadows his responsibility to the Camarilla.

So you think you could do a better job as prince?

Strauss: [laughs] No, young one. I aspire not to such lowly heights. My only interests are those of my clan and the Camarilla.

In that order?

Strauss: [chuckles again, a little menacing] You will do well in this new life, young one. That I can see already.

You're damn right I will! I am totally going to pwn all these vampire n00bz, or whatever it is kids say these days.

Back to the topic of Nines Rodriguez, I take it you don't much care for the Anarchs, then?

Strauss: The anarchs feel that they don't need the structure and discipline of the Camarilla. I feel that they pose a threat, both to those loyal to the Camarilla, and to themselves. Most are mere children, and need our guidance.

While Strauss is unfailingly polite, and shows respect for the player character's abilities, he's also a bit patronising and paternalistic. This will become more obvious later in the game.

Now that we're done here, let's head over to the Last Round and meet these Anarchs:

Inside we come across our old friend Jack:

Well, I didn't get to do much sight-seeing.

Jack: Heh. I can't imagine you did. Probably too busy gettin' pushed around by every vampire with a week of seniority over you, am I right?

I'll be damned if that isn't the true. Wait, I'm a vampire, so that means I'm probably damned anyways.

Jack: That's usually the way the story goes. Same old bullshit politics from when you were alive, huh? Don't it just make you want rip somebody's spine out? . . What? You sayin' that's just me?

Yeah, and then the Sabbat knocked me out with a baseball bat, the wankers. Good things Nines was there...

Jack: Yeah not a moment too soon, huh?[chuckle] He said you guys let those Sabbat go too. Tsk tsk. Nines must be getting' soft. How can you pass up that kind of fun?

What I really want to know is, how did the Sabbat find out that I was the one responsible for blowing up their warehouse? We were rather discreet in getting into the place, after all.

Jack: Someone must have put the word out. Now here's an interesting little scenario; I'm just going to run this by you, see what ya think... What if the prince got the word out to the Sabbat that you were the one to blow up their warehouse?

Really?

Jack: Hey just a theory man. But who else is going to be watching you so closely, knowin' where you're goin' and all that?

So you think LaCroix is working with the Sabbat?

Jack: I'm not saying he's working with the Sabbat; I know he ain't, but he sure as hell coulda put the word out there on the street where the Sabbat would pick up on it. Just chew on that.

I wouldn't put it past him, but remember that, as friendly as he acts, Jack has his own agenda, and he's clearly trying to get us on his side.

Jack: It's how the Camarilla works kiddo, trust me. I've been dealing with these slimy shits for a few centuries now.

Well, whatever he's planning, LaCroix doesn't want me dead - he wants me to investigate the Elizabeth Dane.

Jack: Oh really? The Sarcophagus...did LaCroix tell you about the Ankaran Sarcophagus?

He was a bit short on the details...

Jack: Yeah, well, maybe I should fill you in on the details. That Sarcophagus is bad news. Kindred around the globe have been going batshit since it was discovered. The word is there's an ancient asleep in there. One of the fathers. One of the vampires that, if you traced your lineage way back, there's a chance it'd end up with him at the root.

And let me guess, he's asleep inside there, and if he wakes up he's going to destroy the world?

Jack: Ancients don't just nap. They sleep whole ages away. And when they wake up, they're hungry.

Aw, crap.

Jack: It's more than that, kiddo. Most Kindred think it's one of the end signs. The apocalypse. Every religion has their own version of it. Kindred call it Gehenna, and the way they tell it, it starts when the ancients rise to devour their children.

"Gehenna" refers to a valley in Jerusalem where the rulers of the Kingdom of Judah would sacrifice children to the gods Moloch and Baal. Owing to this rather dubious reputation, Judaism used the word "Gehenna" as a metonym for hell, and some translations of the Christian Bible use "Gehenna" where others use "hell." The Arabic word for hell, Jahannam, is directly derived from "Gehenna." Another Arabic term for hell is an-Nar ("the fire"), and if you combine these two words you get the name of a great death metal band from Bahrain:

Getting back to our conversation, is there any proof that "Gehenna" is actually real?

Jack: No one knows for sure really. That's just the word that's been handed down through the ages; the Camarilla denies these ancients exist.

So it could be just bullshit...right?

Jack: Well kiddo, I guess you're gonna be the one to find out.[laughs] Good luck! Try not to wake Grandpa Munster and kill the world![laughs]

But why me? Why is the "Prince" sending me on these incredibly dangerous assignments instead of someone more experienced?

Jack: Cuz he never thought you'd make it back! If Nines didn't stand up for you in the courtroom you woulda been toast right there man; everybody knows that.

Is Nines really that influential?

Jack: It's bullshit Camarilla law; you gotta get it approved before you sire any childer. Vampire population control. Fascist crap. LaCroix wanted to look like the strong leader, upholding the law.

If that's the case, then why did LaCroix let me live?

Jack: Public relations, man. 'Calculated risk'. Ventrue are born in a boardroom. When Nines called him out LaCroix realized it was time to show a carefully measured dose of Camarilla compassion.

You're not a fan of the Camarilla, I take it?

Jack: The facts are like this: The Camarilla needs us to buy into their bullshit for any of their 'laws' to mean dick. Now telling free-livin' vampires they need to be ruled is a hard sell, so the Camarilla baked up a play nicey plan, show everyone how great they are so we'll all just jump on board!

So who are you aligned with, then?

Jack: The free living dead kiddo. A lot of people like to use the label 'Anarchs', whatever the hell that means... Anarchs. Does got a nice kick to it ,though huh? Haha yeah.

Tell me about these "Anarchs":

Jack: Yeah I could tell you about the history of 'the movement' about 'our struggle'... Hmph. What's any of that shit mean, anyway? Do we want to sit through History class here? I'm no scholar kid, but I been around. Seen more and done more than most vampires ever will. I don't know that our situation is ever gonna be easy, but some things you gotta decide are worth fighting for.

And how is this fight to be won?

Jack: Fight harder than the other sonuvvabitch. Every time I yank a jawbone from a skull then ram it in an eyesocket, I know I'm building a better future.

So the Camarilla is filled with power-hungry wankers; that much was obvious from the moment LaCroix opened his mouth. But surely their ideals (like the Masquerade) mean something, don't they?

Jack: Don't think the Camarilla has a monopoly on those 'ideals', OK kid? No one is arguing over that shit, and if they tell you that's what this fight is all about then they're really giving you the full fist, ya hear me? The Camarilla protects the people running the Camarilla. That's it! The end! The rest of them are bloody gristle for the machine.

So just how high up on the ladder is LaCroix, anyway?

Jack: Not one of the bigs but... He ain't out risking his ass in the street that's for sure. LaCroix has ambitions of joining that inner circle; Delivering Los Angeles into their pocket would look killer on a resume. Ah, to hell with LaCroix. I've blasted better vampires' brains all over the wall. He's not the prince, he's a prince.

Sounds like you've dealt with his type before...

Jack: He's a typical Ventrue asshole. Predictable. Safe. No imagination...man, the guy's a pussy. He just got lucky and showed up in L.A. at the right time.

So...fuck the Camarilla, then?

Jack: I'm not saying let's go torch the Malkavian living under the abandoned hotel because she happens to be a Camarilla; I'm saying let's change that shit from the top down. Camarilla membership is 95% victims, 5% evil bastards. But make sure and understand - any of those victims points a gun at me, they get drained and slaughtered like sheep.

You know, I'm technically part of the Camarilla, being LaCroix's errand-girl and all that...

Jack: Hey man, you do what you got to do to survive when you're young. But there comes a time when that excuse don't fly no more- when you should know better and want to do something about it.

What about the Sabbat? They oppose the Camarilla, after all.

Jack: The Sabbat are worthless, man. Fake tits on a zombie worthless. Fun to watch though. Like the Three Stooges with chainsaws. Yeah they oppose the Camarilla, but they suck when it comes to execution. The Sabbat are in the same business as the Camarilla; Sabbat have a little longer chain but they're slaves all the same.

Since you seem to know the score, what do you think my best option is?

Jack: An educated young Kindred like yourself carefully placed within the ranks of the Camarilla can do a lot for the Anarchs I bet. Your choice. Ain't it nice to have some choice? Just be your own dead-ass self. Play the game kiddo, just keep your eyes open, hear me? You can help everyone that way.

While Jack's view of the Camarilla is undoubtedly subject to his own personal biases, I can't help but sympathise with his position, especially considering my own political views. His criticism of the Camarilla sound suspiciously similar to the main criticisms of capitalism (specifically, that it only really works for the people at the top, being essentially a pyramid scheme writ large), and the fact that LaCroix is depicted as businessman is surely not coincidental.

In the next episode we'll meet the other colourful characters who make the LA Anarchs and get ourselves involved with Russian Mafia! Won't that be fun?

Desdendelle · Feb 9, 2019

The Victorian said:
"Gehenna" refers to a valley in Jerusalem where the rulers of the Kingdom of Judah would sacrifice children to the gods Moloch and Baal. Owing to this rather dubious reputation, Judaism used the word "Gehenna" as a metonym for hell, and some translations of the Christian Bible use "Gehenna" where others use "hell." The Arabic word for hell, Jahannam, is directly derived from "Gehenna." Another Arabic term for hell is an-Nar ("the fire"), and if you combine these two words you get the name of a great death metal band from Bahrain:

The valley's called "Gai ben Hinom", that is to say "the Valley of the Son of Hinom", and it's still there; the Jerusalem cinematheque is situated right next to it. Oh, and it also gave rise for one of the Hebrew words for hell, "gehenom" (the other, "azazel", is a rock from which a goat was thrown off to break its neck as part of the Yom Kippur rituals back when the Temple was still a thing).

"We are born of the blood..." Let's Play Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist

A.E.I.O.U. - Antarticae est imperare orbi universo

Elven Supremacist

I'M A SQUIIIID

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist

A.E.I.O.U. - Antarticae est imperare orbi universo

THE GRIEF TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES

Broken Robot

Looking for Dinsdale

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist

Abomination

Castro-Trudeauist

Elven Supremacist

Elven Supremacist