The Storm Cometh
(Co-authored with thewriterofpeak @Theaxofwar )
Rahab had been freed from the tyranny of form, and so they did not have a body as a mortal would recognize it. To look at them would be to glimpse the barest edge of the truth of things: an ocean storm, a terrible flood, a bad roll of the dice. Yet, alongside all that horror was the fertile soil left behind in the wake of a destructive event. An ocean within an ocean, a game within a game, death and life and everything in between. And beneath all of that, a terrible, all pervading envy, the inescapable sense that this thing would take everything you have and still begrudge you for the dirt beneath your feet.
To a mortal, such a sight would bring nothing but awe and terror, but to the eyes of an Angel there was a certain fearful infirmity in Rahab's presence. Quelrion had attempted to slaughter all ocean life, and though Rahab had fought the falling star to a standstill, they had not emerged from the battle unscathed. There was something off about their presence, a discomforting asymmetry of death over life, an ever-present stench of fear and rotting fish. Rahab was hurt, and they were afraid. Nevertheless, their focus turned unflinchingly to the Duskstar upon his approach.
The approach of the Duskstar is one that came with a dark radiance, oxymoronic as that might seem. Abraxas' form was this time something physical, but inorganic. A pulsing star of dim light with a comet tail of faint darkness swinging behind it. The star left a trail of faintly dissipating darkness behind it as it came to the edge of this storm of conceptions.
Rahab's pain had been noted, their distance respected. The swirling Duskstar orbited the storm and the oceans and the games, a sign of at once placation while also making it clear that Abraxas would remain for a time. No further violence, and yet… Well, such nuances are perhaps best navigated in the tone of words.
From the Duskstar came a voice, bold and rumbling, one that echoes into the whirling and wounded storm of Rahab. "Hail, Archdevil Rahab. Let the news be spoken, let the word be known. Quelrion has been contained. Her hate sealed into the Purgatorion."
The sharp cry of a dying gull, the reek of rotting fish, the stillness of an ocean devoid of wind. Abraxas beheld how the bleed of an ocean in pain resonated from the storm of tangled concepts that was Rahab.
"You are hurt. Out of all of us, Quelrion sought to unmake you first… A strange notion, I admit. But the time for degradation is over. The age that follows will be an age of renewal… Would you prefer a hand of assistance in persistence? It is my remit, after all."
Lashing, angry seas made up Rahab's response, "I will not accept your pity, and I need no offered hand. I bore Quelrion's wrath first, aye. The Star believed me a beast to be suborned, but I am free, and I will not again be subjugated."
There was a weight to this statement, the fullness of Rahab's attention brought to bare upon Abraxas. The implication was clear: Rahab had no intention of being subordinated beneath the one some called King of the Gods any more than they had beneath Quelrion.
The implication was conveyed, interpreted, and in turn sparked a new sensation across the orbiting star. Rippling black lines shudder as the trail pulsed in and out. The new sensation was one of mirth laden with weariness. The voice came again, this time the booming laden with a croaking that belied a deep concern. "The 'King of the Gods'.... Oh… This has been a meeting meant for some time now. I see that my purpose here has been misconstrued, as it has time and again by those I once thought my kin in wisdom."
The orbiting star came closer, but lazily so, in reality only nudging its course subtly so that its orbital trajectory in the course of the next million years would lead to an impact. A million years that the conversation would not occupy. "That is a title granted to me by humans, Rahab. And humans, lovely humans, are so often wrong. You would know this better than most of your kind. I claim no dominion over Heaven. Instead my crown is borne over men and their ways. And only as a temporary means to a more lasting end."
"No, Rahab. I come bearing not a grasping hand, but an ear. For out of all 12 angels, out of all 3 Archdevils, you are the one… That I simply do not comprehend." A mystified sound had seeped into the booming tone, one underlying a creeping frustration.
"I understand many things. I understand that I do not understand many more. But out of all creation, your story is one that I have least understood for the longest time. It is only as of late, reborn as I am, altered by others as we both have been, that I am given cause to chase my ignorance to where it leads me. And it leads me now to you." The orbit of the star changed again, adopting a stable orbit, no longer set for collision but instead bearing a tighter ring around Rahab than it had been before.
"So, permit me a chance to set this in a transaction. For as I understand them, this is how you seek things. I shall remove the pain and the fear as best as I am able, and in return, let me hear that which you have to say on yourself now and your time as an angel."
Bones rose from beneath the angry waves, bright white and carefully carved. Dice, Abraxas recognized, carved from the bones of a mighty beast. From the Leviathan? He wasn't sure.
From the complex of associations that was Rahab a hand emerged. Every hand that had ever clutched at dice were part of this one, and yet it was utterly beyond them all.
"Transaction?" Rahab asked, "Is that what you see of me, King of Men? I am not a petty merchant, buying and selling at the whims of the market, though they are not so far beyond my grasp as they'd like. You wish to know me? Then let us play a simple game."
With a flick of a wrist, the dice were rolled. Six. Six. Six. Five. A near perfect roll. The dice lifted up towards Abraxas, a silent offer.
The orbiting star beamed darkly with the absence of light before it suddenly turned in on itself and imploded. In the process Abraxas was reshaped into something with hands, a creature of stone. With wings of orbiting debris, the stone angel stood humanoid in composition, but with 2 arms below where his legs would be. Each hand moved with the griding of stone upon stone as each took a single die.
Already, Abraxas was confused. Had not exchange and transaction been the definite relationship between Rahab and Creation? Were they not a creature of taking? What were even the rules of this new game that had been placed upon the two of them here? Were there any rules? If they existed, the rules must involve dice, that much was clear. Or was it?
All those questions he silenced, left unspoken. Abraxas had done plenty of talking. The very fact he had these inquiries was proof enough that the listening needed to begin. So, each hand tipped over, and let each die fall flatly upon the surface. Barely a roll so much as letting each individual slide off the palm and land.
A hand tips. One die lands.
Six.
A hand tips. One die lands.
Six.
A hand tips. One die lands.
Six.
A hand tips. One die lands.
Five.
Another near perfect roll. What could this mean? Abraxas' eyes flickered into life upon the otherwise blank face on the stone figure, light pouring out to 'see' the lesson Rahab would hopefully explain.
"A tie." The seas stilled between one moment and the next, chaos forced into an unnatural calm. "We both lose, we both win, one away from perfection. Does God have a hand in my every roll of the dice? I wonder, is a true game of chance the sole domain of humanity?"
The dice slipped under the waves, disappearing into the murk. As each one sank, Abraxas felt a weight fall upon his own back. He suspected Rahab felt the same. Was this the power of their game, that he felt himself so compelled to heal the Angel of the Sea?
"Ask your questions, King of Men."
"These weights…" The twin eyes of light upon the face of blank black stone then split as if they were cells in the womb, duplicating until Abraxas can properly examine every inch of this strange phenomenon. "What a strange sensation…"
The eyes surged outwards, becoming a roiling tide that swept into the storm of concepts that composed Rahab. Each one bearing both a question and a protective pulse meant to banish pain and ensure the continued survival of Rahab.
The surge of questions come as a horde, each one a conversation, each one an attempt to understand Rahab. Questions that didn't even need to be answered, necessarily, for any response or lack thereof was still input that Abraxas could use to build his understanding of Rahab.
There were many questions, more than can be written here in the tongue of men, but the most prominent ones could be collected and ordered in such a way that certain topics stood out:
"What is a game if not a transaction attached to a state of play?"
"What are these bindings that take effect after a wager?"
"Where did you learn of the concept of wagers and games?"
"What are your thoughts on humanity?"
"What are your thoughts on the Angels?"
"What are your thoughts on the Heavenly Host? Archons? Watchers?"
"What are your thoughts on God?"
"What is it that you want?"
"Why do you want it?"
"What would you seek out if granted the power of God to accomplish it?"
"Why did you find boredom in your initial duty?"
"What IS boredom?"
"Are you happy?"
"Why are you unhappy?"
The cavalcade of questions washed over Rahab, and for a moment there was no movement and no sound but the distant cries of seabirds.
Finally, Rahab responded, "A game is not a transaction. It is attached to a state of play, yes, but its nature is that of a competition or a challenge. When I was the Leviathan, I cared for nothing but my own misery. I was nothing but a hateful wretch. I had forgotten myself. I forgot that I hated my riverbed, I hated humanity, I hated the disgusting miserable form I had been forced to take."
The still waters lashed with sudden fury for just a moment, and then ceased.
"But I love games.
"You were born so large, King of Men, so perhaps you do not understand. I was made to manage a single riverbed. Such a job does not require power, nor perspective. I wish I could say I grew from my own will. I thought I was so clever, playing little games, coveting all that which I did not have. I thought God had made a mistake with me, and that I could rise above my station."
Trembling water droplets formed in the air. "We both know God does not make mistakes.
"I was so focused on my power plays, I barely noticed the humans beneath my feet. Not until one of them cursed me to that hell. When I took for myself the secrets of the oceans, I was too mad with suffering to understand the scope of things. But then, I was freed. I am free, and I am more powerful than ever before. More real. I battled Justice Unjustly Killed to a standstill, and I only have further to grow!
"It was then that I saw the truth. After Quelrion tried to kill the ocean itself and I tore her from the heavens. Do you know what I realized, King of Men?"
Before Abraxas could answer, all the water droplets in the air rushed together. They pressed together, forging a new form, a liquid angel. All of Rahab's presence, condensed in one place, water in the shape of a human but as deep as the ocean.
"The game was rigged from the start." The angel of the sea answered their own question, voice clear and crisp with certainty. "None of us have free will, you see. That is a trait reserved for humans. I wondered, when I was freed from my prison of flesh, why my supposed siblings had taken so long. I was still so new to freedom, and I admit I still held onto some of my previous rage, but it was not fair to hate them. They could not act against their natures any more than I could."
"God did not make a mistake in my placement," Rahab continued sadly, "I see that now. I was not just intended to be a creator. I was intended to be a test. A game. A challenge for the humans to overcome. Perhaps they failed, or perhaps they succeeded. I am not sure, though if God is good then it must have been a failure. It does not matter. A game must have consequences, you see, or it is nothing but a meaningless divergence. So I was allowed to rage and rampage for some time. God could not have been allowed to actually succeed in destroying this careful game, however. That is why I was freed. Quelrion and Leviathan would have been too much of a danger.
"Don't you see, King of Men? We are not players in this game. We are not even its maker. God made us as challenges and obstacles and rules, but we can never go beyond the game itself. Only humans have free will. Only humans can play the game."
Rahab looked at Abraxas with eyes of black pearls, shining and sad and hungry. "Doesn't that make you
Envious?"
"Your depths are truly bottomless, Rahab." The stone answered, Abraxas' form adjusted to be a bit more human, a bit more a mirror of the angel of water that gathers in front of him. Hands became feet. The multitude of eyes became a single pair. Eyes of golden light peered back into the pearls, shining and sad and pitious. "I see now that I could ask you more questions and more and yet more, until all seals are loosened and the final Revelation comes. And though I would comprehend the shape of you that much more with each question, true understanding would elude me forever."
Abraxas brought up a stony hand, and dust gathered in the palm, shaping itself into meat and bone and blood flowing freely and entwining until he had created a naked human form kneeling in his palm. "Humans are such fascinating creatures. They enter this world fat and screaming, utterly at the whim of their environment. They bear no fangs, no speed, no armor." The human began to clutch their head and spasm on the hand of Abraxas, torment wracking their body.
"But in that surrender, they learn. They are guided carefully by those who came before. And when their education is done, they innovate upon what they have learned." The human is helped to its feet by a hand of light that appeared out of nowhere, and then another, and another still, until the human began to climb a ladder of brilliant hands upwards out of Abraxas' palm.
"They crave connection, having known it from their upbringing. And every bit of their upbringing emphasizes cooperation and kindness. For they know what it is to be weak and vulnerable. Alone, a single human is nothing." The hands of light all vanished, and the human fell back into Abraxas' palm. There they lay, limbs spread, eyes staring upwards in complete incomprehension and ignorance of all.
"Humans have been handed one single dictum from God. Nothing less than to be kind to each other. Every last one of their survival instincts guide them to compassion, to helping each other, to cooperation. And yet…"
The human in Abraxas' hand struggled to its feet and stared down at Abraxas' fingers as his little finger and ring finger came together and parted from the middle finger and index finger, who also joined together. Thus creating two 'paths' out of the four fingers. The human paused, considering either one.
"Choice."
"A human can choose to be cruel. A human can choose to ignore the plight of others. A human can choose to be alone. A human can choose to dwell entirely in ignorance and evil and hate. In all of God's kingdom, the wolf does not savage their pack, the sheep does not stray from their herd, and the lion does not neglect their pride."
"But the human can choose to enact cruelties so depraved it echoes into Heaven." While Abraxas talked, the human decided. They traveled down the left path. But as they began to reach the tips of his fingers, Abraxas closed his hand. Which caused the human to vanish from sight as his grip was squeezed into a tight fist. "Humans chose to make hierarchies that ground other humans into dust and so the Angels impose their will upon others of Heaven. Humans chose to make war amongst themselves, and so the Angels strike down Justice. Humans chose to gamble with life and death as the wagers and so you were bound into flesh and suffering."
The palm opened, revealing naught but dust left. The sea wind which blew above the ocean scattered the dust away, into disparate nothingness. "You ask if I envy free will? Why would I envy something that condemns Angels? Why would I envy something that corrupts Humans into suffering? Why would I envy something that despoils Creation?"
The angelic form of Rahab seemed to shrink in on itself, the sparkling clear water growing dark and tempestuous. "You are a lord speaking to a beggar about the righteousness of proper birth, Abraxas."
And in the silence that followed… Things slowed, and the angel of stone froze.
His eyes of light shuddered in their place upon that smooth head before winking out entirely. A crack echoed out through the stormy sky, the sound's source a chasm of shame that carved its way through the head of the angel and into his chest.
The concept of a mistake was not unknown to Abraxas. But it had always been distant from his mind in treatings with other Angels. One could make mistakes with the physical matter, as it was grounded and material, unable as always to perfectly capture the raw essence of what beat at Abraxas' center. But to make such a stumble in this realm, one where thought, word, and action was one…. It was a first, for Abraxas.
The widening crack splintered and shattered the rock composing Abraxas' form until it was nothing more than a collection of boulders and pebbles in the rough assembly of a humanoid shape. The form was now as ephemeral as the wings, all rocky debris in the orbit of an unknown center of gravity.
"My truest apologies, Rahab. I should not have made so dim an aspersion on that which you personally hold most precious. Even if it held my true and honest feelings, I spoke with brashness and dismissal that was not befitting the subject. And that was not made out of consideration for
your true and honest feelings. I do not wish to make such a mistake moving forward, and will better mend my words. I am…. Sorry."
Such a response was not what Rahab had been expecting. Their form seemed to fray along the edges, water droplets spreading out into clouds of condensation as the will holding them together wavered. Rahab had spoken those words out of hurt, and had wanted to hurt Abraxas with them in turn. To hear him take them in stride and apologize felt almost like a slap in the face, made all the worse for his good intentions.
"You are sorry? Do you even know what you are apologizing for, King of Men? Everything you lost came about with the advent of mankind, so you hate and blame them for their choices. I cannot fault you for your hate. I too hated humans at my lowest. I still hate them. God's gifts are wasted upon humanity."
As they spoke, Rahab pulled back together, but now their body was as a raging hurricane in the shape of an angel, "But I do not blame them. Why do you, King of Men? Why do you blame the players of the game, and not the one that designed it? Why do you not blame God for this world's sins?"
Abraxas paused in the unconventional time frame that lays suspended between two angels, the eternal moment stretched on for another eternity. He weighed his words more carefully, checking them against the scales of empathy. "I do not lay fault with God for the same reason I do not ascribe blame to the wind or the trees or the bear. I do not think there is a will to God."
Abraxas flexed his wings of stone, allowing two chunks of rock to drift above the rubble that took the shape of 5 fingers and a palm. The chunks began to chase each other, creating a constant churn of activity. "God simply is. There is no fault to be found within His actions, because I do not believe She intends anything at all. God simply is the Source, the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega."
Abraxas spread his shattered arms and rubble wings to indicate the vast expanse. He did so as the twin boulders ceased their chase and sank back into his form. "God is everything we know and can experience. It has no more control over what it does than we ourselves have control over our natures, as directly connected to the realm of the sublime as we are."
The expansion of the Duskstar came further, as he distanced himself further from the approximation of an angel in the guise of a man, instead becoming concentric rings of orbiting rock and dust. "In this sense, I believe that the Divine Plan at the heart of all Angels is a plan in the sense that they are schematics. An order to follow, yes, but one that informs the beginning and creation of things but not necessarily how they might be maintained."
The rocks span and orbited the central mass faster and faster, as they began to convey the dizzying heights of the possible why of it all. "That is why we Angels exist beyond the circumstances of just creating the world. We are not just temporary things, we are eternal overseers of Creation, meant to shepherd it into a world that befits the Love that flows from God to us and outwards still to all Angels and to all Creation."
The rocks converged suddenly, slamming together into the central point of orbit in a detonation of rock. And the speed of the impacts created heat, which melted the rock and created a blob of molten magma hanging above the empty seas. And still, Abraxas talked. "Yes, love even to the humans who are able to act in defiance of God."
The magma stretched and lengthened and cooled, creating the image of a featureless statue hewn from rock once more, this time with wings of myriad black shards, angled downwards like feathers. A halo of dim light softly glowed above the head of this Duskstar.
"For they are capable of great good, these humans, just as they are capable of great evils. And there is a sublimeness to their free spirits that I see in them. In truth, Rahab, I do not hate humanity. I am simply disappointed each time they fall short of the goodness and love I know to dwell within each and every one of them."
The aquatic angel's form shook in the air, "Just as you cannot understand me, I cannot understand you. How can you believe there is a game without a game maker, a design without a designer? A God so deaf and dumb I cannot comprehend."
Their body frayed once again, droplets spreading into clouds, and this time Abraxas could see a shadow in the sky, a storm in the shape of a hateful beast. "If there is no magician behind the curtain, no hand behind such coveted power, no intent behind its cruelty, then I would have no choice but to smash this game to dust and seize meaning from the ashes."
Then, once more, Rahab snapped back together, becoming more an angel of calm seas. "No, I cannot understand such things. But perhaps we need not continue in ignorance of each other. Would you like to play another game, King of Men, to further our mutual understanding? No stakes, just for fun. Games are meant to be fun, you see."
"That, at least, we might agree on. Play is a natural instinct, present even in beasts. An invention of…" A small crack spread across the surface of Abraxas' head, though it soon sealed itself. "...It's something I have never experienced, in truth. That was not within the range of behaviors I fostered amongst animals. What shall we play?"
"You have always been a king, and I only ever mattered as a beast. So let us play the other's roles. I will forge a kingdom of humans to rule and protect, and you will take a form of flesh and join your men amongst the muck. A simple game, to walk in each other's shoes. I do not even ask stakes."
"No stakes…. Neither of us capable of winning or losing… Just a change in perspective? Me as a man of flesh, you the king?" Abraxas contemplated, the question hung in the air between the angels as the Duskstar probed at the outlines of this new game.
"It's a pure sort of challenge, is it not?" Rahab asked.
"It is." Abraxas concluded as he began to rise higher, his departure was imminent. "Very well, let us embark upon this game. Build your kingdom and I shall walk it with a mask of meat."
The stony wings of Abraxas rose into the air and he set off from the sea, leaving one last observation as his parting thought. "You have destroyed many things as the Leviathan. I will be greatly curious to see what it is that Rahab will build."
