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Voldemort!Quest: You are the Dark Lord (Crack Edition)

Kaioo said:
Unicorns hate men.
They accept only pure maidens.
Thus, to become a Unicorn you must be a pure maiden.
Voldemort realised this, and so became a pure maiden.
And thus did (s)he achieve the Unicorn Animagus form.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

That's a rather large leap in logic, from your second point to your third.

I assume that the unicorn information at least comes from a Valid Rowling source?

That's not, like say, the very first thing someone would come across while researching something like this...
 
[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know they were still making these!
[X] Powdered Powder
[X] Marie Callendar's <????> Pie
[X] Cheerio's
[X] I Want To Believe
- [jk] in purple !!!PINK!!! unicorns
 
Vote tally:
##### 3.18
[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know they were still making these!
No. of votes: 2
Prim the Amazing, snake

[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know they were still making these!
[X] Powdered Powder
[X] Marie Callendar's ???? Pie
[X] Cheerio's
[X] to pick up chicks
No. of votes: 4
modrony, Ridiculously Average Guy, Felius, Drasis

[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know the-
[X] WOAH HOT MOMMA, whose that hot bird in pink with almost snakelike features!? Fem!Voldemort interruption
-[X] Time to show your moves and impress the lady. Luna needs a mother-figure.
No. of votes: 1
Kaioo

[X] Harry Potter hair clippings.
No. of votes: 1
burningclaw2

[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know they were still making these!
[X] Powdered Powder
[X] Marie Callendar's ???? Pie
[X] Cheerio's
[X] I Want To Believe
No. of votes: 1
SV5195R

So yeah, I made a stupid joke in a stupid thread, and I shouldn'ta oughtn'ta done that, so I took my punishment like a grownup.

Sorry for letting you guys all down with Updates during my Banishment.
 
Last edited:
[X] Uncle Vincenzo's Emergency End of the World Ration Packs! I didn't know they were still making these!
[X] Powdered Powder
[X] Marie Callendar's ???? Pie
[X] Cheerio's
[X] to pick up chicks

UVEEotW Ration Packs! And there's a Whole...Shelf of them! Don't people know what these things are?! How valuable they are?!

"1 Knut each?!!?!?" You say, reading the tag incredulously.

"Yeah..." A passing pixie comments on your exaperation, "They were all the rage, but then someone opened one up and it had weird muggle stuff in there that no one could make sense of. Now we can't give them away."

Well then. One quick trip to the front later, and you have a full cart of the packs, as many as you can carry, off to the front to be packed into a shrinking case for you. A fresh cart in your hands, you move on.

Powdered Powder is next, though you're not really sure what kind of Powder was Powdered to make it. Or even how they Powdered a Powder in the first place. But it's a great little addition on Chili night, and it makes just about everything taste better. So, In the cart it goes, along with the box of Cheerio's. Never say that Muggles couldn't come up with some great food ideas. Lucky Charms though...You're never touching anything that's come into contact with that stuff ever again.

Various and sundry other goods go into the basket, necessities...

Finally, you pick up a good old fashioned favorite, Marie Callendar's ???? Pie. It's box is Purple and Green, and festooned with a myriad of "?" symbols. Every Pie is a different delicious flavor, the magic is that you never know what flavor you've gotten until you sit down and actually eat it. And it changes with every slice. There were rumors that in the depression, that crazed genius Wonka had made off with her recipe, but he never released a competitor, so it was put down to rumors.

Finishing your check out, (and dodging the traditional knifeswipe of the goblin teenager) you call Luna, who is clasping an issue of NG to her chest and sighing dreamily. (Hmph. She'll grow out of it and into looking for REAL creatures soon enough.) Together, you leave the Supermarket.

You do have other things to do, so where to now?
[ ] Lair of the Snatchemgrubs (Supermarket)
[ ] Cave of Deep thought and Despair (Work Offices)
[ ] Gringotts (Gringotts)
[ ] Cantherferous Ruminitory (Diagon Alley)
[ ] Write in
 
[X] To the Moon!
-[X] With Luna of course, it would be terribly rude not to take your heir to the secrets of HuffleClaw!
-[X] You wonder if you should invite that dapper new Pink Lord?
--[X] Especially if he knows the true meaning of PINK CHRISTMAS!
 
Vote tally:
##### 3.18
[X] Gringotts (Gringotts)
No. of votes: 1
Enjou

[X] To the Moon!
-[X] With Luna of course, it would be terribly rude not to take your heir to the secrets of HuffleClaw!
-[X] You wonder if you should invite that dapper new Pink Lord?
--[X] Especially if he knows the true meaning of PINK CHRISTMAS!
No. of votes: 1
Irenicus

[X] Cantherferous Ruminitory (Diagon Alley)
No. of votes: 2
Prim the Amazing, Hyp3rB14d3

[X] Cave of Deep thought and Despair (Work Offices)
No. of votes: 3
modrony, Ridiculously Average Guy, Daxxt

[X] Gringotts
No. of votes: 1
snake
 
I'm simply waiting to time travel back to the Goblet of Fire Champion-selection, so we can have a clean slate to cause havoc. :)
 
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