Vignettes From The Naval District (Kancolle)
Two things.Baneblade has 11 barrels of hell, just FYI.
First, 11 is very much like one, since it's just one repeated twice
Second, if you want me to tell her that, then I'll do that after you tell Fubuki about how you don't find her as good as a Baneblade (at least in this regard).
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
But it's true, I don't find Fubuki as good as a Baneblade in this regard, and I've told her so. But that's okay, because you use a Baneblade for tank things.Two things.
First, 11 is very much like one, since it's just one repeated twice
Second, if you want me to tell her that, then I'll do that after you tell Fubuki about how you don't find her as good as a Baneblade (at least in this regard).
For everything else, there's my Everlasting Summer Blizzard.
Sir_Braazmiir
Tiefling Paladin
- Location
- Wherever I am
I can tell you, based on my experiences with Advance Wars, warships are FAR more durable than tanks. Of course, AW isn't too serious, what with the CO Powers and all that, but I still consider it to be fairly accurate to real-life. Excluding Black Hole, because they're alien invaders and they get all sorts of cool stuff you don't.
5: The Hungry Wolf
- Location
- Singapore
"So… you knew the entire time and didn't mention it?"
"There are a lot of things I don't mention, Commander. You'd know better than most."
"...Stop turning this around on me, old man."
"Then stop calling me old, I look fantastic."
"Looks are deceiving."
"And so are ships."
----
2026, June
It was a nice cool morning that Friday. The salty sea breeze nicely damp instead of salty and stinging, and the sun wasn't glaring at them with the hell-born hatefire of a thousand explosions. Lt. Commander Konoe woke up earlier at 0500 Hours and found it to be a pleasant start to an otherwise pleasant day, at least thus far.
Which was exactly why when three Heavy Cruisers practically kicked his door open with pomp and circumstance, he was completely unflappable and clad in the Armor of Contempt. Because his old man always taught him that it was calmest before the storm, and goddamn it hasn't failed him yet.
"Lt. Commander," Myoukou greets him with a flick of her hair as Nachi and Haguro start flanking around him, "Do you have a minute we could borrow?"
Commander Konoe taps his chin with his pen, pondering on other matters. "Heavy Cruisers," he responds, and frowns. "Say, the three of you have worked with Torpedo Squadron 1, yes?"
"Hm?" The first of the Myoukou sisters blinks and nods. "Yes, we worked with them on sortie before we got reassigned to D Division."
"Because I have to ask, where is Sendai?" Initiative won, regardless of his flanked status, the Commander pressed his curiosity. He's played XCOM, he knows how it works. "I've been here over two months and I still haven't seen her around."
"That's quite normal for Sendai," Nachi explains.
"She's p-probably practicing night battle tactics," Haguro mentions softly.
"For two months?"
"She really likes night battles."
The Lt. Commander nods. "Alright. Note to self, show up for night battle practice someday. So, ladies." He clasps his hands together and holds them before his mouth. "How can I help you this fine morning?"
Myoukou smiles, content with the olive branch he's extending. "Well, Commander, we were hoping you could do us a favour…"
----
"So sloooooow!"
"The arcade doesn't even open until ten, shut your face!"
Shimakaze crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at Shiratsuyu as she jogs over, panting all the way. The both of them are dressed in more casual attire - thankfully, considering Shimakaze's… fast outfit - and have the weekend off. They glare at each other for a few seconds before they burst out laughing.
"So." Shimakaze grins at Shiratsuyu, and points at the arcade with her thumb. "Wanna get started?"
Shiratsuyu nods, also grinning wildly. "It's going to be different today, Shima. I'm going to be first."
"Hmph, not while I'm faster than you!"
They step into the arcade together, and so the battle begins.
----
"...How hopeless is she?"
"S-She's not! Ashigara is really strong, a-and we're not doing this because we think she's hopeless but--"
Nachi puts both hands on Haguro's shoulders as her younger sinks to the ground, covering her face as sher cheeks burn up. "She means that Ashigara seems like she could use a boyfriend, or at the very least someone to spend time with."
"Which is why we want you to be the one, Lt. Commander," Myoukou concludes. "Please, sir? Would you help our sister in her time of need?"
The Commander adjusts his head, but only until he realises he's not wearing glasses and can't do the trick. Dammit. He tries to hide it as thoughtful head motions. "Well… I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment. Definitely not with a warship - no offense, you're all fine ladies."
"I'm not the one looking for a lover," Myoukou replies coolly.
"Same," Nachi says curtly.
Haguro just makes a noise as she curls up on the ground.
The Commander sighs. God, it's not just the destroyers. All of them are problematic. "So… Are we done?"
"We're not asking you to become her boyfriend, Commander," Myoukou clarifies. "But could you at least show up as her blind date tonight?"
He raises an eyebrow. "You bring this to my attention now?"
Myoukou hangs her head in shame. "We were hoping it would be a surprise…"
"Also the restaurant reservations are a pain to get a hold of," Nachi adds.
Haguro just squeaks in the affirmative.
The Commander crosses his arms and looks at the lead ship. Truthfully, he has nothing going on tonight. Most of the destroyers and light cruisers would be on weekend pass by tonight, which leaves him with not much to do but play Tiberium Wars. And, well… He likes that game, but not that much. "Alright, two questions: First, where is Ashigara?"
"She'll be arriving at port in an hour or so," Myoukou tells him.
"Okay. Second, which restaurant?"
"The Harusame," Nachi says.
Lt. Commander Konoe blinks. "What, the floating one? Made from the actual JDS Harusame?"
Haguro squeaks and nods.
"The one that is really popular?"
Another squeak, another nod.
The Commander looks down at her with a concerned face. "Is… is this normal?"
"She's not good with men," Nachi laments, and notices at Myoukou's glare. "What? She's not."
Myoukou pinches the bridge of her nose and groans under her breath. "Anyways, Commander… Yes, we have a reservation for two at the Harusame Seaside Restaurant, and that includes dinner, paid for in full. Dress code is formal."
The Commander glances at the report on his desk, and then back at the three Myoukou sisters. There is never a dull moment with D Division, is there? Still, he is a Lt. Commander of the JMSDF, and his responsibility is the well being of the ships in the base. Plus he gets dinner at the Harusame; their tempura is really good.
"Alright."
Haguro uncovers one of her eyes, looking up at him, still red-faced. "R-Really?" She asks, voice cracking. Haguro sits up. "Really?! Thank you so much, Commander! Oh, Ashigara will be so happy!"
Nachi hugs Haguro before she can melt down again, which leaves Myoukou looking at him with gratitude. "Thank you, Commander. You are a good man."
"Juuuuust so we're clear… This definitely won't end with me and her together." The Commander stands up for emphasis, and only just notices he's taller than all four sisters. That's interesting to know. "At all. Ever. Even if she wants it really, really badly."
"All we ask is camraderie, Commander." Myoukou looks aside briefly and shrugs. "And an open mind, I guess?"
The Lt. Commander smiles, inhales, and tries not to consider that they do, in fact, want to hitch their sister with a superior officer. Because if that happens, the old man is going to ride his ass into tomorrow.
----
'New High Score!'
"Hah! Eat my shorts, 'Tsuyu!" Shimakaze does a twirl as tickets shoot out of the old-style basketball hoop machine and sticks her tongue out at the other destroyer. "I! Win!"
Shiratsuyu stomps her feet and groans. "Ugh, I hate basketball. How can I be first with short stubby arms?"
"Maybe if you were faster it wouldn't matter~"
"Shut up," she groans. Shimakaze wasn't much better than her at throwing balls, but she was just so fast with it that it didn't matter. Shimakaze was easily twice as fast as her, so even if Shiratsuyu could land more shots, she could take more shots and land more overall.
Which was completely unfair. She's not first because she's good, she's first because she's fast. Which… is what being first requires.
Argh dammit brain stop making sense.
Shiratsuyu points dramatically at Shimakaze, striking a pose. "I'll beat you, Shimakaze! I'll beat you… I'll beat you at「DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION」!"
Shimakaze laughs, folds her arms, and strikes a pose of her own. "Hm hm… futile, futile! You are「TOO SLOW」! You'll never defeat me!"
"SHIMAKAZEEEEEE!"
"SHIRATSUYUUUUUUU!"
----
It is almost an hour past noon when Ashigara steps off onto port, rubbing at her shoulders with a sigh. She's finally back from the Philippines, left to settle the last matters for Mutsu before she took off straight to California instead of returning to Yokosuka first. Apparently, there were… pressing matters to resolve ahead of time.
Still, she notes with a smile, she is happy to be back home again. Another day with her sisters, fresh from Victory, eager to recharge her batteries and get back into it.
"Ashigara~!"
Ashigara barely has time to open her eyes when a weight crashes into her, and Haguro brings her into a big sisterly hug. She returns it gently, and pats her on the head. "Heheh… Sorry I'm late, Haguro. Miss me?"
"She did," Nachi says directly as she walks up with Myoukou. "Haguro worried about you constantly."
Ashigara laughs when Haguro blushes brightly and sinks deeper into the hug. "Well, I called back, didn't I? Every night, for fifteen minutes. Sometimes longer!"
"Well," Nachi sighs and shrugs, "Some girls just love to worry, you know?"
"I know a few other people like that," Myoukou notes beside her, and pats Nachi on the back as she walks ahead.
"Yeah… H-Hey, wait! Myoukou, what are you implying, huh?"
"Welcome back, Ashigara," Myoukou says to her younger sister, hands behind her back in a dignified manner. "So… You free tonight?"
Ashigara blinks, and looks at her sister. "Well, besides unpacking--"
"Good. We have a blind date for you tonight. We'll help you dress up, so don't worry about it. Just show up, and have a great time."
Ashigara opens her mouth. Then she closes it. Then she opens it again. "Myoukou, what did you--"
"Shhhh," her sister says as she pushes her finger against Ashigara's lips. "It's a blind date, Ashi. That means you don't know who it is until you show up. It'll be fun, I promise."
Ashigara rolls her eyes. Well, they're at it again. "Oh, fine… But where do I meet him?"
"At the Harusame."
Her eyes light up immediately. "Oh yes."
----
A slight tremor rolls over Yokosuka that friday afternoon. Some confused ensigns look around, expecting some sort of earthquake. But the majority of the veteran staff just carry on working, knowing full well what it was.
"What do you think it is this time?" Ooyodo asks the Admiral.
The Admiral muses, hands clasped together. "I'm going to say… Heavy Cruisers."
"I was going to guess Fast Battleships, myself."
"Kongou and her sisters went off to visit Mikasa, they're not on base at the moment." The Admiral shrugs his shoulders, trying to get them to loosen up. "This feels like Heavy Cruisers, Ooyodo. Do you feel it?"
"I feel…" She blinks. "I feel hungry."
"What a coincidence, so do I. Lead the way, Ms. Secretary Ship."
"Right away, Admiral."
----
Night falls soon enough, and the Harusame looks good in the moonlight. Some who worked at Yokosuka Naval Base would wonder if the Harusame that got turned into a floating restaurant has a human form, or has any objections to what she has become. Others wonder if Harusame, the shipgirl herself, has any objections to what her successor has become.
Ashigara has none of those concerns, because she is going to eat dinner at the Harusame. It has good food and a good view, perfect for dinner.
Also she has a blind date or something. Well, could be worse. Myoukou's taste isn't terrible.
That said, even Ashigara, whose thirst for Victory drowns out all other sensations like fear on the battlefield, can be surprised sometimes.
"Yo."
Like when Lt. Commander Konoe shows up in dress uniform, and sits opposite of her at her table. It's quite obvious that he is her blind date, but she does not believe it just yet. "Y-Yo, Lt. Commander Konoe… This is a surprise."
"Is it?" The Commander asks, and straightens a folder on the table. "Well, I imagine it could be. This is the first time we meet, and it's at a restaurant." Ashigara sighs in relief when she sees it, most likely her profile. Hah, and here Myoukou told her it would be a blind date!
"So I see Myoukou wasn't entirely forthright," Ashigara says with a smile.
"Hm?" The Commander puts the folder on his lap and straightens out his silverware, as a waiter comes over to pass him a menu. "What do you mean?"
"She told me this was going to be a blind date, but if you have my profile with me…" Ashigara laughs lightly, and leans forward on the table. "Well, it's more like a performance review, isn't it?"
"Well, I wanted to be up to date on you before we met," the Commander explained. "Still, it could be a performance review, if you wanted."
"I'd like that, Commander Konoe. I really would."
The Commander smiles for the first time since they've met tonight, and rubs his gloved hands together. "Excellent, I'm glad we're on the same page tonight. So, should I start from the beginning?"
"How about we get dinner first?"
"Mm, dinner." The Lt. Commander nods. "Dinner sounds good."
----
"...Alright, so in summary your battle records are very impressive. Nothing to say on that front but to keep up the good work."
Ashigara preens under the praise and laughs lightly. "Why thank you, Commander. Anything else I should be aware of, though? Points to improve on?"
Dinner was fun, to Commander Konoe's surprise. The food was good, the view was great, and Ashigara was impressively fun to be around. She was funny, enthusiastic, eager to learn, and most of all not interested in a relationship with him. No, this was just a nice dinner in general. "Well, I see that Akashi has some things to say about the stress you put your equipment under… Oh, your third turret seems to have taken damage that hasn't been fixed since the start of the campaign."
"It was minor damage, so I asked Akashi to leave it when I came back for repairs," Ashigara explains. "Nothing major, turret number 3 is just a bit more sluggish than usual."
"Mm. Well, considering campaign pressures I won't reprimand you, and it doesn't seem to have significantly affected your combat record. But take some berth time before the next major campaign, the Admiral will want you at one hundred percent."
"I'll go look for Akashi tomorrow, don't worry about it."
"Akashi is on weekend leave, so find her on monday. In the meantime, no sorties. Though, I believe the Admiral has placed a general blackout on offensive fleet sorties without his express order, so that's no problem." The Commander grunts and flips the page on the report. "Ah, here we go. Kongou reports that you are exceptionally aggressive in fleet actions, often leading the charge into enemy formations."
"That is how Victory is won, Commander," Ashigara laughs. "Surely you agree?"
"Mm, no doubt. But it's lead to you taking more damage than you otherwise would have." The Lt. Commander looks closer at the report and nods. "Mmhm, looks like you've had more docktime than the rest of your sisters - the rest of D Division, in fact."
"Victory demands sacrifice," Ashigara explains. "It is a price I pay gladly. Don't you agree?"
The Commander ponders on the thought briefly. Ashigara is obsessed with victory, and her fighting style is wild and seemingly-uncontrolled - she is in control, she just also doesn't care about damage if her target dies in the process. How do you get someone like that to tone it down…
"Well, the more time you spend in the docks, the less time you have out there, shooting Abyssals." He shows her the report, pointing at a section. "See? You've missed four major fleet actions because you were in repairs at the time, for damage you would not have otherwise taken."
Ashigara gasps suddenly and deeply, which strains her dress in ways that make Commander Konoe uncomfortable. "Oh my god, Lt. Commander, you are absolutely right. How could I have missed this? I resolve to improve on this in the battles to come."
"You'll probably forget about it when you enter a fight again, and don't take this as a direct order to stop doing what you're doing. You probably know how to fight better than I do, and I'm not as good at WW2 fleet doctrine as I would like to be." Ashigara nods attentively, and the Commander sighs. She is so receptive, and… god, this is weird. This is such a nice performance review, how is this possible. "Just… be more careful, alright? If not next fight, then eventually."
"No worries, Commander," Ashigara replies with a wink and a smile, "I'll do my best for Victory!"
The Commander sighs happily. "Mmhm. This was a good dinner. And here I thought it was going to be one of those blind dates."
"Yeah, my sisters are busybodies who think I need someone else in my life," Ashigara laments. "I don't need one, though. I have them, and I have Victory. All is well, you know?"
"Yeah…" The Commander looks up at her. "You knew?"
"I knew," Ashigara nods.
"Oh, good. That means you were trying to avoid it as much as I did. I wasn't exactly happy to go on a blind date, because of my… ah." He glances aside. "My… complicated relationship status."
"Oh~?" Ashigara says with a smile. "Do tell, Commander."
"It's secret," he smirks. "And you, Ashigara? Is victory that important to you?"
"That's secret~"
They laugh, one kindred soul to another. Commander Konoe extends a hand, which Ashigara takes firmly, and they shake. "Thank you, Ashigara. It was a nice dinner."
"Thank you, Lt. Commander Konoe. It was a good dinner and a good performance review."
Something explodes in the distance, and the Commander and Ashigara stand up. It sounded like it came from the sea.
"We should probably see what that was about," Ashigara says.
Commander Konoe raises a hand. "Bill!"
----
The coastline has been cordoned off by the military police by the time they arrive, and officers are on site to keep the public from going in and… doing things. Frankly, he has to commend the MPs for doing such a good job. They really should get paid more, considering all the crap they have to go through.
"So what's going on?" He asks one of the MPs holding the cordon.
"It's classified, so--" He does a double take, blinking. "Oh, sorry Lt. Commander, didn't recognise you. Is that--"
"Ashigara, yes, I was giving her performance review."
"Master Sergeant," Ashigara greets.
"Ma'am," he returns respectfully. "Well, sir, it seems that… Shimakaze dropkicked Shiratsuyu into the beach."
The Commander looks at him blankly. He blinks, one eye at a time. The Warrant Officer nods sympathetically.
"Not from the Naval Base, mind, but one of the arcades along the coast. Still very impressive, though."
"W-What, did she dropkick Shiratsuyu from the storefront?"
"Oh, no no, it seems that there was a bit of a chase until they arrived at the waterfront."
"But why."
"From what I can tell…" The Master Sergeant muses as he fiddles with his earpiece, "...Shiratsuyu beat Shimakaze at a game."
"...What, is that it?"
"And was completely insufferable about winning."
"Ah." Lt. Commander Konoe nods. "That makes more sense. Shiratsuyu can be pretty insufferable when she's going on and on about being first."
"And Shimakaze, being hypersensitive about that sort of thing, would respond violently. Fortunately, they weren't wearing their rigging, or the beach may have gotten more damage."
"A sore winner and a sore loser make a dangerous combination," Ashigara muses out loud, and everyone nods in agreement.
"Well, they're best friends in the tsundere sort of way, so I imagine they won't hold a grudge over this," Commander Konoe notes. "I'm definitely disciplining the both of them, though. This has gone too far."
"Any ideas so far?" The Master Sergeant asks.
"Off the top of my head… I'm encasing Shimakaze's feet inside concrete for a week. Shiratsuyu will probably have to eat Hiei's curry for breakfast."
Ashigara shudders. "Don't… That's too much, Commander. Think of the poor girl."
The Commander grunts noncommittally. "Well, anyways, we should get going. I'll leave you to it, Warrant Officer."
"Understood. Good night, sir."
"Mmhm," Ashigara says. "I'll see you in the morning."
Commander Konoe nods. "You too, Ashiga--"
Ashigara then leans forward, and kisses the Master Sergeant on the lips. Just a short peck, less sexy and more cheekily romantic. But it was definitely lip-on-lip.
"...Ashigara?"
"Mmhm~?"
"You… have a boyfriend."
"Yeeeeep~"
The Master Sergeant, for his part, nods sheepishly at the Lt. Commander.
Lt. Commander Konoe opens his mouth. He closes it. He opens it again. And then he closes it again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ashigara."
"Good night, Commander Konoe~"
----
"Oh, yeah. Ashigara has been in a relationship with Master Sergeant Aoba Kaede since before the Philippines Campaign." The Admiral adjusts his glasses, while beside him Ooyodo slurps on a grape juice box. "What, wasn't it obvious?"
"It wasn't and you fucking know that."
The Admiral shrugs noncommittally, and says nothing. Lt. Commander Konoe sighs. "So… you knew the entire time and didn't mention it?"
The Admiral tilts his head, just right so that the light makes his glasses opaque. God dammit. "There are a lot of things I don't mention, Commander. You'd know better than most."
"...Stop turning this around on me, old man."
"Then stop calling me old, I look fantastic."
"Looks are deceiving."
The Admiral smirks. "And so are ships."
"...Dammit, don't make it sound profound, you shitty old man."
The Admiral clasps his hands and holds them before his mouth. "Just as according to the Scenario."
"...Pretty sure that's not the line," the Lt. Commander points out.
"Pretty sure shut up."
"There are a lot of things I don't mention, Commander. You'd know better than most."
"...Stop turning this around on me, old man."
"Then stop calling me old, I look fantastic."
"Looks are deceiving."
"And so are ships."
----
2026, June
It was a nice cool morning that Friday. The salty sea breeze nicely damp instead of salty and stinging, and the sun wasn't glaring at them with the hell-born hatefire of a thousand explosions. Lt. Commander Konoe woke up earlier at 0500 Hours and found it to be a pleasant start to an otherwise pleasant day, at least thus far.
Which was exactly why when three Heavy Cruisers practically kicked his door open with pomp and circumstance, he was completely unflappable and clad in the Armor of Contempt. Because his old man always taught him that it was calmest before the storm, and goddamn it hasn't failed him yet.
"Lt. Commander," Myoukou greets him with a flick of her hair as Nachi and Haguro start flanking around him, "Do you have a minute we could borrow?"
Commander Konoe taps his chin with his pen, pondering on other matters. "Heavy Cruisers," he responds, and frowns. "Say, the three of you have worked with Torpedo Squadron 1, yes?"
"Hm?" The first of the Myoukou sisters blinks and nods. "Yes, we worked with them on sortie before we got reassigned to D Division."
"Because I have to ask, where is Sendai?" Initiative won, regardless of his flanked status, the Commander pressed his curiosity. He's played XCOM, he knows how it works. "I've been here over two months and I still haven't seen her around."
"That's quite normal for Sendai," Nachi explains.
"She's p-probably practicing night battle tactics," Haguro mentions softly.
"For two months?"
"She really likes night battles."
The Lt. Commander nods. "Alright. Note to self, show up for night battle practice someday. So, ladies." He clasps his hands together and holds them before his mouth. "How can I help you this fine morning?"
Myoukou smiles, content with the olive branch he's extending. "Well, Commander, we were hoping you could do us a favour…"
----
"So sloooooow!"
"The arcade doesn't even open until ten, shut your face!"
Shimakaze crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at Shiratsuyu as she jogs over, panting all the way. The both of them are dressed in more casual attire - thankfully, considering Shimakaze's… fast outfit - and have the weekend off. They glare at each other for a few seconds before they burst out laughing.
"So." Shimakaze grins at Shiratsuyu, and points at the arcade with her thumb. "Wanna get started?"
Shiratsuyu nods, also grinning wildly. "It's going to be different today, Shima. I'm going to be first."
"Hmph, not while I'm faster than you!"
They step into the arcade together, and so the battle begins.
----
"...How hopeless is she?"
"S-She's not! Ashigara is really strong, a-and we're not doing this because we think she's hopeless but--"
Nachi puts both hands on Haguro's shoulders as her younger sinks to the ground, covering her face as sher cheeks burn up. "She means that Ashigara seems like she could use a boyfriend, or at the very least someone to spend time with."
"Which is why we want you to be the one, Lt. Commander," Myoukou concludes. "Please, sir? Would you help our sister in her time of need?"
The Commander adjusts his head, but only until he realises he's not wearing glasses and can't do the trick. Dammit. He tries to hide it as thoughtful head motions. "Well… I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment. Definitely not with a warship - no offense, you're all fine ladies."
"I'm not the one looking for a lover," Myoukou replies coolly.
"Same," Nachi says curtly.
Haguro just makes a noise as she curls up on the ground.
The Commander sighs. God, it's not just the destroyers. All of them are problematic. "So… Are we done?"
"We're not asking you to become her boyfriend, Commander," Myoukou clarifies. "But could you at least show up as her blind date tonight?"
He raises an eyebrow. "You bring this to my attention now?"
Myoukou hangs her head in shame. "We were hoping it would be a surprise…"
"Also the restaurant reservations are a pain to get a hold of," Nachi adds.
Haguro just squeaks in the affirmative.
The Commander crosses his arms and looks at the lead ship. Truthfully, he has nothing going on tonight. Most of the destroyers and light cruisers would be on weekend pass by tonight, which leaves him with not much to do but play Tiberium Wars. And, well… He likes that game, but not that much. "Alright, two questions: First, where is Ashigara?"
"She'll be arriving at port in an hour or so," Myoukou tells him.
"Okay. Second, which restaurant?"
"The Harusame," Nachi says.
Lt. Commander Konoe blinks. "What, the floating one? Made from the actual JDS Harusame?"
Haguro squeaks and nods.
"The one that is really popular?"
Another squeak, another nod.
The Commander looks down at her with a concerned face. "Is… is this normal?"
"She's not good with men," Nachi laments, and notices at Myoukou's glare. "What? She's not."
Myoukou pinches the bridge of her nose and groans under her breath. "Anyways, Commander… Yes, we have a reservation for two at the Harusame Seaside Restaurant, and that includes dinner, paid for in full. Dress code is formal."
The Commander glances at the report on his desk, and then back at the three Myoukou sisters. There is never a dull moment with D Division, is there? Still, he is a Lt. Commander of the JMSDF, and his responsibility is the well being of the ships in the base. Plus he gets dinner at the Harusame; their tempura is really good.
"Alright."
Haguro uncovers one of her eyes, looking up at him, still red-faced. "R-Really?" She asks, voice cracking. Haguro sits up. "Really?! Thank you so much, Commander! Oh, Ashigara will be so happy!"
Nachi hugs Haguro before she can melt down again, which leaves Myoukou looking at him with gratitude. "Thank you, Commander. You are a good man."
"Juuuuust so we're clear… This definitely won't end with me and her together." The Commander stands up for emphasis, and only just notices he's taller than all four sisters. That's interesting to know. "At all. Ever. Even if she wants it really, really badly."
"All we ask is camraderie, Commander." Myoukou looks aside briefly and shrugs. "And an open mind, I guess?"
The Lt. Commander smiles, inhales, and tries not to consider that they do, in fact, want to hitch their sister with a superior officer. Because if that happens, the old man is going to ride his ass into tomorrow.
----
'New High Score!'
"Hah! Eat my shorts, 'Tsuyu!" Shimakaze does a twirl as tickets shoot out of the old-style basketball hoop machine and sticks her tongue out at the other destroyer. "I! Win!"
Shiratsuyu stomps her feet and groans. "Ugh, I hate basketball. How can I be first with short stubby arms?"
"Maybe if you were faster it wouldn't matter~"
"Shut up," she groans. Shimakaze wasn't much better than her at throwing balls, but she was just so fast with it that it didn't matter. Shimakaze was easily twice as fast as her, so even if Shiratsuyu could land more shots, she could take more shots and land more overall.
Which was completely unfair. She's not first because she's good, she's first because she's fast. Which… is what being first requires.
Argh dammit brain stop making sense.
Shiratsuyu points dramatically at Shimakaze, striking a pose. "I'll beat you, Shimakaze! I'll beat you… I'll beat you at「DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION」!"
Shimakaze laughs, folds her arms, and strikes a pose of her own. "Hm hm… futile, futile! You are「TOO SLOW」! You'll never defeat me!"
"SHIMAKAZEEEEEE!"
"SHIRATSUYUUUUUUU!"
----
It is almost an hour past noon when Ashigara steps off onto port, rubbing at her shoulders with a sigh. She's finally back from the Philippines, left to settle the last matters for Mutsu before she took off straight to California instead of returning to Yokosuka first. Apparently, there were… pressing matters to resolve ahead of time.
Still, she notes with a smile, she is happy to be back home again. Another day with her sisters, fresh from Victory, eager to recharge her batteries and get back into it.
"Ashigara~!"
Ashigara barely has time to open her eyes when a weight crashes into her, and Haguro brings her into a big sisterly hug. She returns it gently, and pats her on the head. "Heheh… Sorry I'm late, Haguro. Miss me?"
"She did," Nachi says directly as she walks up with Myoukou. "Haguro worried about you constantly."
Ashigara laughs when Haguro blushes brightly and sinks deeper into the hug. "Well, I called back, didn't I? Every night, for fifteen minutes. Sometimes longer!"
"Well," Nachi sighs and shrugs, "Some girls just love to worry, you know?"
"I know a few other people like that," Myoukou notes beside her, and pats Nachi on the back as she walks ahead.
"Yeah… H-Hey, wait! Myoukou, what are you implying, huh?"
"Welcome back, Ashigara," Myoukou says to her younger sister, hands behind her back in a dignified manner. "So… You free tonight?"
Ashigara blinks, and looks at her sister. "Well, besides unpacking--"
"Good. We have a blind date for you tonight. We'll help you dress up, so don't worry about it. Just show up, and have a great time."
Ashigara opens her mouth. Then she closes it. Then she opens it again. "Myoukou, what did you--"
"Shhhh," her sister says as she pushes her finger against Ashigara's lips. "It's a blind date, Ashi. That means you don't know who it is until you show up. It'll be fun, I promise."
Ashigara rolls her eyes. Well, they're at it again. "Oh, fine… But where do I meet him?"
"At the Harusame."
Her eyes light up immediately. "Oh yes."
----
A slight tremor rolls over Yokosuka that friday afternoon. Some confused ensigns look around, expecting some sort of earthquake. But the majority of the veteran staff just carry on working, knowing full well what it was.
"What do you think it is this time?" Ooyodo asks the Admiral.
The Admiral muses, hands clasped together. "I'm going to say… Heavy Cruisers."
"I was going to guess Fast Battleships, myself."
"Kongou and her sisters went off to visit Mikasa, they're not on base at the moment." The Admiral shrugs his shoulders, trying to get them to loosen up. "This feels like Heavy Cruisers, Ooyodo. Do you feel it?"
"I feel…" She blinks. "I feel hungry."
"What a coincidence, so do I. Lead the way, Ms. Secretary Ship."
"Right away, Admiral."
----
Night falls soon enough, and the Harusame looks good in the moonlight. Some who worked at Yokosuka Naval Base would wonder if the Harusame that got turned into a floating restaurant has a human form, or has any objections to what she has become. Others wonder if Harusame, the shipgirl herself, has any objections to what her successor has become.
Ashigara has none of those concerns, because she is going to eat dinner at the Harusame. It has good food and a good view, perfect for dinner.
Also she has a blind date or something. Well, could be worse. Myoukou's taste isn't terrible.
That said, even Ashigara, whose thirst for Victory drowns out all other sensations like fear on the battlefield, can be surprised sometimes.
"Yo."
Like when Lt. Commander Konoe shows up in dress uniform, and sits opposite of her at her table. It's quite obvious that he is her blind date, but she does not believe it just yet. "Y-Yo, Lt. Commander Konoe… This is a surprise."
"Is it?" The Commander asks, and straightens a folder on the table. "Well, I imagine it could be. This is the first time we meet, and it's at a restaurant." Ashigara sighs in relief when she sees it, most likely her profile. Hah, and here Myoukou told her it would be a blind date!
"So I see Myoukou wasn't entirely forthright," Ashigara says with a smile.
"Hm?" The Commander puts the folder on his lap and straightens out his silverware, as a waiter comes over to pass him a menu. "What do you mean?"
"She told me this was going to be a blind date, but if you have my profile with me…" Ashigara laughs lightly, and leans forward on the table. "Well, it's more like a performance review, isn't it?"
"Well, I wanted to be up to date on you before we met," the Commander explained. "Still, it could be a performance review, if you wanted."
"I'd like that, Commander Konoe. I really would."
The Commander smiles for the first time since they've met tonight, and rubs his gloved hands together. "Excellent, I'm glad we're on the same page tonight. So, should I start from the beginning?"
"How about we get dinner first?"
"Mm, dinner." The Lt. Commander nods. "Dinner sounds good."
----
"...Alright, so in summary your battle records are very impressive. Nothing to say on that front but to keep up the good work."
Ashigara preens under the praise and laughs lightly. "Why thank you, Commander. Anything else I should be aware of, though? Points to improve on?"
Dinner was fun, to Commander Konoe's surprise. The food was good, the view was great, and Ashigara was impressively fun to be around. She was funny, enthusiastic, eager to learn, and most of all not interested in a relationship with him. No, this was just a nice dinner in general. "Well, I see that Akashi has some things to say about the stress you put your equipment under… Oh, your third turret seems to have taken damage that hasn't been fixed since the start of the campaign."
"It was minor damage, so I asked Akashi to leave it when I came back for repairs," Ashigara explains. "Nothing major, turret number 3 is just a bit more sluggish than usual."
"Mm. Well, considering campaign pressures I won't reprimand you, and it doesn't seem to have significantly affected your combat record. But take some berth time before the next major campaign, the Admiral will want you at one hundred percent."
"I'll go look for Akashi tomorrow, don't worry about it."
"Akashi is on weekend leave, so find her on monday. In the meantime, no sorties. Though, I believe the Admiral has placed a general blackout on offensive fleet sorties without his express order, so that's no problem." The Commander grunts and flips the page on the report. "Ah, here we go. Kongou reports that you are exceptionally aggressive in fleet actions, often leading the charge into enemy formations."
"That is how Victory is won, Commander," Ashigara laughs. "Surely you agree?"
"Mm, no doubt. But it's lead to you taking more damage than you otherwise would have." The Lt. Commander looks closer at the report and nods. "Mmhm, looks like you've had more docktime than the rest of your sisters - the rest of D Division, in fact."
"Victory demands sacrifice," Ashigara explains. "It is a price I pay gladly. Don't you agree?"
The Commander ponders on the thought briefly. Ashigara is obsessed with victory, and her fighting style is wild and seemingly-uncontrolled - she is in control, she just also doesn't care about damage if her target dies in the process. How do you get someone like that to tone it down…
"Well, the more time you spend in the docks, the less time you have out there, shooting Abyssals." He shows her the report, pointing at a section. "See? You've missed four major fleet actions because you were in repairs at the time, for damage you would not have otherwise taken."
Ashigara gasps suddenly and deeply, which strains her dress in ways that make Commander Konoe uncomfortable. "Oh my god, Lt. Commander, you are absolutely right. How could I have missed this? I resolve to improve on this in the battles to come."
"You'll probably forget about it when you enter a fight again, and don't take this as a direct order to stop doing what you're doing. You probably know how to fight better than I do, and I'm not as good at WW2 fleet doctrine as I would like to be." Ashigara nods attentively, and the Commander sighs. She is so receptive, and… god, this is weird. This is such a nice performance review, how is this possible. "Just… be more careful, alright? If not next fight, then eventually."
"No worries, Commander," Ashigara replies with a wink and a smile, "I'll do my best for Victory!"
The Commander sighs happily. "Mmhm. This was a good dinner. And here I thought it was going to be one of those blind dates."
"Yeah, my sisters are busybodies who think I need someone else in my life," Ashigara laments. "I don't need one, though. I have them, and I have Victory. All is well, you know?"
"Yeah…" The Commander looks up at her. "You knew?"
"I knew," Ashigara nods.
"Oh, good. That means you were trying to avoid it as much as I did. I wasn't exactly happy to go on a blind date, because of my… ah." He glances aside. "My… complicated relationship status."
"Oh~?" Ashigara says with a smile. "Do tell, Commander."
"It's secret," he smirks. "And you, Ashigara? Is victory that important to you?"
"That's secret~"
They laugh, one kindred soul to another. Commander Konoe extends a hand, which Ashigara takes firmly, and they shake. "Thank you, Ashigara. It was a nice dinner."
"Thank you, Lt. Commander Konoe. It was a good dinner and a good performance review."
Something explodes in the distance, and the Commander and Ashigara stand up. It sounded like it came from the sea.
"We should probably see what that was about," Ashigara says.
Commander Konoe raises a hand. "Bill!"
----
The coastline has been cordoned off by the military police by the time they arrive, and officers are on site to keep the public from going in and… doing things. Frankly, he has to commend the MPs for doing such a good job. They really should get paid more, considering all the crap they have to go through.
"So what's going on?" He asks one of the MPs holding the cordon.
"It's classified, so--" He does a double take, blinking. "Oh, sorry Lt. Commander, didn't recognise you. Is that--"
"Ashigara, yes, I was giving her performance review."
"Master Sergeant," Ashigara greets.
"Ma'am," he returns respectfully. "Well, sir, it seems that… Shimakaze dropkicked Shiratsuyu into the beach."
The Commander looks at him blankly. He blinks, one eye at a time. The Warrant Officer nods sympathetically.
"Not from the Naval Base, mind, but one of the arcades along the coast. Still very impressive, though."
"W-What, did she dropkick Shiratsuyu from the storefront?"
"Oh, no no, it seems that there was a bit of a chase until they arrived at the waterfront."
"But why."
"From what I can tell…" The Master Sergeant muses as he fiddles with his earpiece, "...Shiratsuyu beat Shimakaze at a game."
"...What, is that it?"
"And was completely insufferable about winning."
"Ah." Lt. Commander Konoe nods. "That makes more sense. Shiratsuyu can be pretty insufferable when she's going on and on about being first."
"And Shimakaze, being hypersensitive about that sort of thing, would respond violently. Fortunately, they weren't wearing their rigging, or the beach may have gotten more damage."
"A sore winner and a sore loser make a dangerous combination," Ashigara muses out loud, and everyone nods in agreement.
"Well, they're best friends in the tsundere sort of way, so I imagine they won't hold a grudge over this," Commander Konoe notes. "I'm definitely disciplining the both of them, though. This has gone too far."
"Any ideas so far?" The Master Sergeant asks.
"Off the top of my head… I'm encasing Shimakaze's feet inside concrete for a week. Shiratsuyu will probably have to eat Hiei's curry for breakfast."
Ashigara shudders. "Don't… That's too much, Commander. Think of the poor girl."
The Commander grunts noncommittally. "Well, anyways, we should get going. I'll leave you to it, Warrant Officer."
"Understood. Good night, sir."
"Mmhm," Ashigara says. "I'll see you in the morning."
Commander Konoe nods. "You too, Ashiga--"
Ashigara then leans forward, and kisses the Master Sergeant on the lips. Just a short peck, less sexy and more cheekily romantic. But it was definitely lip-on-lip.
"...Ashigara?"
"Mmhm~?"
"You… have a boyfriend."
"Yeeeeep~"
The Master Sergeant, for his part, nods sheepishly at the Lt. Commander.
Lt. Commander Konoe opens his mouth. He closes it. He opens it again. And then he closes it again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ashigara."
"Good night, Commander Konoe~"
----
"Oh, yeah. Ashigara has been in a relationship with Master Sergeant Aoba Kaede since before the Philippines Campaign." The Admiral adjusts his glasses, while beside him Ooyodo slurps on a grape juice box. "What, wasn't it obvious?"
"It wasn't and you fucking know that."
The Admiral shrugs noncommittally, and says nothing. Lt. Commander Konoe sighs. "So… you knew the entire time and didn't mention it?"
The Admiral tilts his head, just right so that the light makes his glasses opaque. God dammit. "There are a lot of things I don't mention, Commander. You'd know better than most."
"...Stop turning this around on me, old man."
"Then stop calling me old, I look fantastic."
"Looks are deceiving."
The Admiral smirks. "And so are ships."
"...Dammit, don't make it sound profound, you shitty old man."
The Admiral clasps his hands and holds them before his mouth. "Just as according to the Scenario."
"...Pretty sure that's not the line," the Lt. Commander points out.
"Pretty sure shut up."
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ColdGoldLazarus
Contrary Quester, Spreadsheet Queen, Pink Flamingo
- Location
- Challenger Deep
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So... do her sisters know about her boyfriend? Telling them may save her some grief in the future.
I liked this take on the whole "Eternally Single Ashigara" joke.
I liked this take on the whole "Eternally Single Ashigara" joke.
- Location
- Singapore
Ashigara: What, and give up free dinners at classy restaurants? Please.
Lt. Cmdr. Konoe: That's kind of a dick move there.
Ashigara: Yes, but it is also VICTORY!
Sendai: NIGHT BATTLE
Ashigara: VICTORY
Sendai: NIGHT BATTLE
Lt. Cmdr. Konoe: Kill me.
- Location
- Void of Observation
If I had such an option I would abuse the shit out of it. With food so expensive these days, getting a free high class meal alone woule be heavenly.
- Location
- Plato's Cave
He had a kid outside of wedlock, didn't he?
....he has two kids outside of wedlock with different mothers, doesn't he?
[Headcanon locked]
- Location
- Singapore
He's actually also a shipgirl, the modern JDS Kongou manifested as a shipgirl. He's just also a guy due to Abyssal Fuckery - that is, Intense Fucking Hatred of Abyssals.
I'm sorry guys, I pulled the wool over your eyes. Our male human protagonist was a female warship all along.
I'm sorry guys, I pulled the wool over your eyes. Our male human protagonist was a female warship all along.
obssesednuker
Commander of 10 Million Men
- Location
- In the Kremlin, activating Perimtr.
Neat snippets... are we going to see anything like, say, Haguro/Naka?
CompassJimbo
Where’s Your North?
- Location
- The former Rubber Capital of the World
One of the points of this exercise is to subvert fanon ideals. So I doubt we're getting someone who looks 20-something romancing someone who looks 16-ish at best. Plus I think it straddles a line nobody wants to go to.
obssesednuker
Commander of 10 Million Men
- Location
- In the Kremlin, activating Perimtr.
But their cute and nobody else has done so... ;_;
They kinda look rather similar in age to me. There is a height difference, but that's the case in a number of potential ships (like Houshou/Yamato). Then again, that's anime for ya.
Last edited:
- Location
- Seattle, Washington, USA
Hmm. Sailors have been known to have a girl in every port -- is this the shipgirl equivalent?
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
Momboat and Hotel is more age difference again, like here. Granted, early twenties and late thirties isn't as bad as early twenties and midteens... actually no, still pretty bad.
But honestly, the lack of yuri here is refreshing. I'm for social progress as much as the next guy on this site, but there are other forms of romantic relationships besides girl-on-girl. In KanColle, it's overwhelmingly girl-on-girl. Seeing a man and a woman together, even in a non-romantic context as this turned out to be, is such a rare sight as to be cherished. And having it subverted because of a pre-existing relationship is also fun!
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
Nah. Bongou is gunning for him. Hence, complicated.
Gearhead
Who, me?
I thought Kongou was after the Admiral. And trying to use the Commander as a means of gathering intel.
Sir_Braazmiir
Tiefling Paladin
- Location
- Wherever I am
As someone who is personally SICK of Yamaprise (Yamato is my wa–*46 cm salvo*), I am grateful somebody agrees with me. Yuri and yaoi are far from the only romantic pairings in reality, so why should they be the only ones in fiction?
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
It was pointed out to her that the Admiral is getting up there in years.
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
I apologise for kickstarting Yamaprise. It was inly meant to amuse myself.
I did it for lols, but it spawned something that I could not control, that overtook the hearts and minds of shippers and made them srsbsns.
I still think they play well off each other as foils, but GG was never going to get there anytime soon.
- Location
- Singapore
Yes, but Kongou is also like a hundred years old. Really, this just makes it more legitimate. Combined with how she's his best Fast Battleship and a flagship who reporrs directly to him... Why, the only reason it doesn't work out is [REDACTED]. Otherwise they are basically perfect.It was pointed out to her that the Admiral is getting up there in years.
Though the Lt. Commander's spirited (ultimately successful) attempts to escape may have won some respect points and more, dess...
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
Be that as it may, she's not likely to suffer 'night battle' injuries like a person would at an advanced age
Also, $5 says the Admiral fancies the man
6: Panpakapan on Sunday
- Location
- Singapore
"Wait, what?"
"Not as part of my job. Come on, give me some credit."
"I can't, you're Admiral. You've already taken all of it."
"That joke would be funnier if we were French."
"Imperial Japanese Navy."
"Touche, you little shit."
----
2026, March
"Wait, what?"
"I'm pretty sure I stopped stuttering forty years ago," the Admiral says pointedly as he caps his hip flask. "Yes, Shipgirls play video games. They've adapted very well. Some of them even livestream on Twitch."
The Lt. Commander opens his mouth. He closes it. He glances at the hip flask on the Admiral's desk, and then back to the Admiral. "Can I ask who?"
The Admiral pulls one of his drawers open, and produces a rolled up scroll as long as one of his arms and thick enough to kill a man with.
"...Nevermind."
And then the Admiral pulls out a notebook right afterwards and flips through the pages. He waggles his eyebrows at the Lt. Commander, chuckling. "Got you there, didn't I?"
"...Why do you have a man-killer scroll?"
"Hm? Man-ki--Oh, right, because it's as long as my arm and thick enough to be a murder weapon." The Admiral picks it up and unrolls it slightly, showing blank parchment. "It's a prop. I use it to scare off the Destroyers." He hands it to the Lt. Commander. "Here, you can have it."
"Sure, okay, thanks. This will be helpful." The newly-appointed Destroyer Wrangler of Yokosuka takes the prop scroll - which is a real scroll, just written with gibberish - and puts it on his lap. "So, shipgirls stream?"
"They are boats, so yes."
He rolls his eyes. "I meant video games."
"They try, but most of the avid streamers are Offensive Fleet and the Reserve Fleet mostly doesn't stream." He adjusts his glasses. "Atago streams a lot, though. Every Sunday, she invites someone on base to join them."
"A new person every week?"
"She tries, but someone interesting at any rate. And never twice in a row."
"Ah." The Lt. Commander looks intently at the Admiral. "Who's been on?"
"Well, from what I know…"
----
2025, September
XCOM: Enemy Within with Maya
"What the hell is this?!"
"Maya, calm down, it's just a video game!"
"No, this is bullshit! Do these people honestly want me to believe that shooting down UFOs is easy?!"
"Maya, dear, they had priorities."
"Priorities my ass! We're XCOM! We're defending the world from alien invaders! That includes shooting down UFOs! So why the hell is shooting down a UFO a glorified cutscene?!"
"Actually, you get consumables to activate later--"
"Oh, good, so it's an interactive cutscene. Oh my god why do people like this game. It's so bullshit!"
"Well if it helps the sequel doesn't have air combat at all~!"
"OH COME THE FUCK--"
----
2025, November
Yu-Gi-Oh: Legacy of the Duelist with Akatsuki, Ikazuchi, Hibiki and Inazuma
"So we've just beaten Pegasus, and now we're progressing along the Battle City Arc! Do you girls watch Yu-gi-oh?"
"N-No… A Lady doesn't have t-time for kid's anime like this!"
"All four seasons, back to back, together."
"I got the DVDs!"
"It was fun… I got a bit scared sometimes, but only a little bit!"
"Argh, Hibiki! Don't say thaaaaat out loud!"
"Hm hm hm~ Well, let's go! So, he starts by playing Pot of Greed… Twice… Oh my god how the--what."
"Uhm… What was that, nanodesu…?"
"That, girls… Was Exodia. On turn one. I'm not sure how."
"Well that's not very fair! I demand redo!"
"Atago-san… How does Pot of Greed work?"
"...Hibiki, turn off the chat right now."
"Too late."
Ah, crap."
"Cyka blyat."
----
2026, January
Crusader Kings 2 with Fubuki
"Ah, sorry about that, had to save Choukai from a crowd of schoolchildren. She's very huggable. Anyways, Fubuki, what's u--Fubuki what are you doing?"
"WE WILL TAKE JERUSALEM!"
"...DEUS VULT!"
"DEUS VULT!"
----
2025, August
XCOM 2 with Fusou
"Okay, okay, calm down Fusou. We can do this, we still have five squad members with full actions."
"There're so many of them… I-I… I don't know if we can do this!"
"This is XCOM 2 Commander, Fusou. It's not going to kill us yet. First, let's kill the Officer, okay? Let's try the Ranger with the slash."
"Okay, okay… Go!"
"..."
"..."
"...Why is Overwatch so mean, Atago?"
"That was a Dash. These aren't even Advanced Troopers. How in the… Hold on a second, Fusou."
"Oh… Okay…"
"YUKIKAZE! ARE YOU PLAYING XCOM 2?!"
"SORRY!"
"Oh… How unfortunate…"
----
2026, February
Hearts of Iron 4 with Tenryuu
"Okay, next step for our Fascist China: Conquer Japan!"
"Okay!"
"..."
"..."
"...What?! How the hell did the naval invasion fail?! These mechanics are bullshit!"
"You have naval superiority, but they can still launch fleets and stuff! Let's see… Ohoho."
"Let me see--What the actual fuck?!"
"Tenryuu, look! It's us!"
"I sunk my tank divisions! I fucked me up! I killed me! I'LL FUCKING KILL ME!"
----
2026, March
Age of Empires with Kongou
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
----
2026, Feburary
Megadimension Neptunia VII with Takao
"..."
"What's wrong, Takao~?"
"...no."
"Aw, but I haven't said anything, Takao~"
"...I'm not dressing up."
"They're so cute, though!"
"I'M NOT DRESSING UP AS VERT!"
"Aw, Takao… I promise, you won't dress up as Vert, okay?"
"...R-Really?"
"Neppu~"
----
"...I believe Atago and Takao later dressed up as…" The Admiral checks his notebook, squinting slightly. "...Vert and Nepgear… Whatever that means."
"I can't believe you take notes," Lt. Commander Konoe sighs.
"Oh, no, Ooyodo helps me take notes. I just read them." He looks at the Lt. Commander, who is still disapproving. "Don't judge me. This information usually comes in handy eventually to defuse situations. You'll need it to deal with the Destroyers."
"Can't we just call the MPs?"
"They want a pay raise and I want to give it to them, but I can't give them a raise and hazard pay."
"...You don't pay them at all! The Ministry of Defense does it!"
The Admiral shrugs and waggles his hands. Lt. Commander Konoe sighs.
"Well… Have you been on her livestreams?"
The Admiral clasps his hands. "It was early in the morning…"
----
2025, December
DOOM (2016) with the Admiral
"Ready for Ultra Violence, Admiral?"
The Admiral closes his kit and reveals his face on the camera, fully painted with camouflage. "The wheel of fate is turning, Atago. Heaven or Hell, let's rock."
Atago laughs, claps her hands, and replaces her beret with an army helmet, complete with foliage attached as cover. "Time to kill them a~all~"
----
"That was around when the chat went crazy." The Admiral laughs nostalgically, while the Lt. Commander just looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Can you imagine some of them went crazy, typing 'ichib@n! ichib@n!'?"
"Must have been Shiratsuyu," Commander Konoe sighs. The Destroyer was literally everywhere.
"Well, actually, my Twitch username used to be Ichib@n when I did game streams. I used to do them regularly, you know?"
"Wait, what?"
The Admiral sighs. "Not as part of my job. Come on, give me some credit."
"I can't, you're Admiral. You've already taken all of it."
"That joke would be funnier if we were French."
The Lt. Commander folds his arms. "Imperial Japanese Navy."
"Touche, you little shit."
They laugh, leaning back into their chairs. "No, but seriously," Lt. Commander Konoe says, "You used to be a fairly popular livestreamer called 'Ichib@n'."
"Yep."
"Does Shiratsuyu know?"
The Admiral just smiles.
"Not as part of my job. Come on, give me some credit."
"I can't, you're Admiral. You've already taken all of it."
"That joke would be funnier if we were French."
"Imperial Japanese Navy."
"Touche, you little shit."
----
2026, March
"Wait, what?"
"I'm pretty sure I stopped stuttering forty years ago," the Admiral says pointedly as he caps his hip flask. "Yes, Shipgirls play video games. They've adapted very well. Some of them even livestream on Twitch."
The Lt. Commander opens his mouth. He closes it. He glances at the hip flask on the Admiral's desk, and then back to the Admiral. "Can I ask who?"
The Admiral pulls one of his drawers open, and produces a rolled up scroll as long as one of his arms and thick enough to kill a man with.
"...Nevermind."
And then the Admiral pulls out a notebook right afterwards and flips through the pages. He waggles his eyebrows at the Lt. Commander, chuckling. "Got you there, didn't I?"
"...Why do you have a man-killer scroll?"
"Hm? Man-ki--Oh, right, because it's as long as my arm and thick enough to be a murder weapon." The Admiral picks it up and unrolls it slightly, showing blank parchment. "It's a prop. I use it to scare off the Destroyers." He hands it to the Lt. Commander. "Here, you can have it."
"Sure, okay, thanks. This will be helpful." The newly-appointed Destroyer Wrangler of Yokosuka takes the prop scroll - which is a real scroll, just written with gibberish - and puts it on his lap. "So, shipgirls stream?"
"They are boats, so yes."
He rolls his eyes. "I meant video games."
"They try, but most of the avid streamers are Offensive Fleet and the Reserve Fleet mostly doesn't stream." He adjusts his glasses. "Atago streams a lot, though. Every Sunday, she invites someone on base to join them."
"A new person every week?"
"She tries, but someone interesting at any rate. And never twice in a row."
"Ah." The Lt. Commander looks intently at the Admiral. "Who's been on?"
"Well, from what I know…"
----
2025, September
XCOM: Enemy Within with Maya
"What the hell is this?!"
"Maya, calm down, it's just a video game!"
"No, this is bullshit! Do these people honestly want me to believe that shooting down UFOs is easy?!"
"Maya, dear, they had priorities."
"Priorities my ass! We're XCOM! We're defending the world from alien invaders! That includes shooting down UFOs! So why the hell is shooting down a UFO a glorified cutscene?!"
"Actually, you get consumables to activate later--"
"Oh, good, so it's an interactive cutscene. Oh my god why do people like this game. It's so bullshit!"
"Well if it helps the sequel doesn't have air combat at all~!"
"OH COME THE FUCK--"
----
2025, November
Yu-Gi-Oh: Legacy of the Duelist with Akatsuki, Ikazuchi, Hibiki and Inazuma
"So we've just beaten Pegasus, and now we're progressing along the Battle City Arc! Do you girls watch Yu-gi-oh?"
"N-No… A Lady doesn't have t-time for kid's anime like this!"
"All four seasons, back to back, together."
"I got the DVDs!"
"It was fun… I got a bit scared sometimes, but only a little bit!"
"Argh, Hibiki! Don't say thaaaaat out loud!"
"Hm hm hm~ Well, let's go! So, he starts by playing Pot of Greed… Twice… Oh my god how the--what."
"Uhm… What was that, nanodesu…?"
"That, girls… Was Exodia. On turn one. I'm not sure how."
"Well that's not very fair! I demand redo!"
"Atago-san… How does Pot of Greed work?"
"...Hibiki, turn off the chat right now."
"Too late."
Ah, crap."
"Cyka blyat."
----
2026, January
Crusader Kings 2 with Fubuki
"Ah, sorry about that, had to save Choukai from a crowd of schoolchildren. She's very huggable. Anyways, Fubuki, what's u--Fubuki what are you doing?"
"WE WILL TAKE JERUSALEM!"
"...DEUS VULT!"
"DEUS VULT!"
----
2025, August
XCOM 2 with Fusou
"Okay, okay, calm down Fusou. We can do this, we still have five squad members with full actions."
"There're so many of them… I-I… I don't know if we can do this!"
"This is XCOM 2 Commander, Fusou. It's not going to kill us yet. First, let's kill the Officer, okay? Let's try the Ranger with the slash."
"Okay, okay… Go!"
"..."
"..."
"...Why is Overwatch so mean, Atago?"
"That was a Dash. These aren't even Advanced Troopers. How in the… Hold on a second, Fusou."
"Oh… Okay…"
"YUKIKAZE! ARE YOU PLAYING XCOM 2?!"
"SORRY!"
"Oh… How unfortunate…"
----
2026, February
Hearts of Iron 4 with Tenryuu
"Okay, next step for our Fascist China: Conquer Japan!"
"Okay!"
"..."
"..."
"...What?! How the hell did the naval invasion fail?! These mechanics are bullshit!"
"You have naval superiority, but they can still launch fleets and stuff! Let's see… Ohoho."
"Let me see--What the actual fuck?!"
"Tenryuu, look! It's us!"
"I sunk my tank divisions! I fucked me up! I killed me! I'LL FUCKING KILL ME!"
----
2026, March
Age of Empires with Kongou
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
"Wololo, dess~"
"Panpaka-wololo~"
----
2026, Feburary
Megadimension Neptunia VII with Takao
"..."
"What's wrong, Takao~?"
"...no."
"Aw, but I haven't said anything, Takao~"
"...I'm not dressing up."
"They're so cute, though!"
"I'M NOT DRESSING UP AS VERT!"
"Aw, Takao… I promise, you won't dress up as Vert, okay?"
"...R-Really?"
"Neppu~"
----
"...I believe Atago and Takao later dressed up as…" The Admiral checks his notebook, squinting slightly. "...Vert and Nepgear… Whatever that means."
"I can't believe you take notes," Lt. Commander Konoe sighs.
"Oh, no, Ooyodo helps me take notes. I just read them." He looks at the Lt. Commander, who is still disapproving. "Don't judge me. This information usually comes in handy eventually to defuse situations. You'll need it to deal with the Destroyers."
"Can't we just call the MPs?"
"They want a pay raise and I want to give it to them, but I can't give them a raise and hazard pay."
"...You don't pay them at all! The Ministry of Defense does it!"
The Admiral shrugs and waggles his hands. Lt. Commander Konoe sighs.
"Well… Have you been on her livestreams?"
The Admiral clasps his hands. "It was early in the morning…"
----
2025, December
DOOM (2016) with the Admiral
"Ready for Ultra Violence, Admiral?"
The Admiral closes his kit and reveals his face on the camera, fully painted with camouflage. "The wheel of fate is turning, Atago. Heaven or Hell, let's rock."
Atago laughs, claps her hands, and replaces her beret with an army helmet, complete with foliage attached as cover. "Time to kill them a~all~"
----
"That was around when the chat went crazy." The Admiral laughs nostalgically, while the Lt. Commander just looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Can you imagine some of them went crazy, typing 'ichib@n! ichib@n!'?"
"Must have been Shiratsuyu," Commander Konoe sighs. The Destroyer was literally everywhere.
"Well, actually, my Twitch username used to be Ichib@n when I did game streams. I used to do them regularly, you know?"
"Wait, what?"
The Admiral sighs. "Not as part of my job. Come on, give me some credit."
"I can't, you're Admiral. You've already taken all of it."
"That joke would be funnier if we were French."
The Lt. Commander folds his arms. "Imperial Japanese Navy."
"Touche, you little shit."
They laugh, leaning back into their chairs. "No, but seriously," Lt. Commander Konoe says, "You used to be a fairly popular livestreamer called 'Ichib@n'."
"Yep."
"Does Shiratsuyu know?"
The Admiral just smiles.