Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
I'm pretty sure you mean Akashi here. Mamiya is the sexy cafeteria lady.
Last edited:
Vignettes From The Naval District (Kancolle)
Cornuthaum
Be kind to each other.
- Location
- Austria
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's just an arm, they grow back
Silvrose
Connoisseur of Cuteness
- Location
- A Flyover State
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
but what if Mamiya is not-so-secretly an arms dealer.I'm pretty sure you mean Akashi here. Mamiya is the sexy cafeteria lady.
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
Can't let anyone strong arm into their territory.
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
but what if Mamiya is not-so-secretly an arms dealer.
Better be careful with these. Don't want the cafeteria worker giving you the cold shoulder.
- Location
- Singapore
Mixed with a little bit of Frankenstein, Tony Stark, and biting sarcasm.
She and Ooyodo are the only shipgirls aware of the Admiral's secret, and are (some of) the secret lords of the naval district.
She and Ooyodo are the only shipgirls aware of the Admiral's secret, and are (some of) the secret lords of the naval district.
- Location
- Singapore
Hinted at during the Kongounapping of Chapter 2. Revealing would be telling.
15: Submarines and Shit
- Location
- Singapore
2026, May
It was a normal day at Yokosuka. Sendai was sleeping, destroyers were doing horribly dangerous things, and MPs were silently praying for the sweet release of death, even though with the emergence of shipgirls the possibility they would be resurrected as eternal MP zombies to serve the navy forever was non-zero. Things were… going surprisingly well, actually.
Which is usually when bored officers spend time with their equally bored commanding officers and shoot the shit. Or ask dumb trivia. But usually shooting the shit by asking dumb trivia.
"We have submarines?"
"We do," the Admiral nods. He takes a sip of tea. "Konoe, what the fuck have you been smoking? Of course we have submarines."
"Sue me I haven't seen a submarine in my two-ish months of being here."
"They aren't the most photogenic sort," the Admiral admits. "And considering that they don't have to do the usual submarine thing of resupplying on land and giving the crew time to stave off the next bout of stir crazy… They're basically permanently at sea." He frowns. "Unless they need docktime. The bucket thing doesn't work quite right yet. We blame the british."
Konoe frowns at his mentor and commanding officer. While he's doing some fucked up shit over the years - and he's known the old man for quite a few years holy shit he's known the old man for quite a few decades - this takes the cake. "So, what… Do the submarines do supply convoys forever, until the end of time, in groups of one or less?"
"Hmm… Well, sort of. It's easier if you see it in person." The Admiral rummages in an open drawer and pulls out a laminated report, stained with dried seawater. "This is a recent report from them."
"Why the hell wasn't it cleaned?"
"Because that day Ooyodo was giving me sass and I didn't feel like doing it myself." He glances at his secretary ship, currently sitting with her legs dangling outside the windowsill and looking at the ocean. "Look if you want time off, you fucking file for time off. I'm not pulling any strings for anyone."
Ooyodo glares at him. She glances at the Lt. Commander briefly before returning to trying to eyelaser holes in the Admiral's forehead.
"Hey, I filed for that weekend off properly!"
"Denied," she mutters, and looks gloomily back out the window.
Konoe and the Admiral share a look. "Why's she so grumpy anyways?" Konoe asks.
"She wants to visit a river or something, I don't fucking know," the Admiral responds. "I get it's important, but if it were that important she would have applied for a weekend pass already. I know I'd give it to her."
"You are surprisingly anal about procedure," Konoe says with a raised eyebrow.
"You are surprisingly procedural about anal," the Admiral retorts with a bemused expression.
"Shut the fuck up, I have Kongou on speed dial."
"What, do you need a demonstration? That is precisely the problem."
"Oh my god."
"The two of you are unusually fixated on butt stuff," Ooyodo says, her head fully turned around like an owl's. "Stop that."
"Oh my god."
Konoe blinks, and Ooyodo is suddenly turned around like a normal person, not an… owl-person. He blinks again. "So… did you see that?"
"Hm? Owl Ooyodo?" The Admiral taps his chin in thought and shakes his head. "It happens sometimes. Anyways, submarines. Read the report."
The Lt. Commander shrugs, wipes off some of the stains, immediately regrets it, and goes about reading.
----
April 2026, I-168
No updates on the sector. Abyssal ship movements are erratic and nonsensical, as usual. Also there is no internet underwater. Please fix that.
----
April 2026, I-58
Found another submerged destroyer, Nenohi. Reserve Fleet. Wasn't even fucking sunk. She just likes being underwater. Several hundred kilometers from Yokosuka. Fucking weirdo. I hate destroyers so much. So. Much.
----
April 2026, I-8
Ah, I hope Prinz is alright… Oh! Her blog had an update! Looks like she just watched Die Hard and is having nightmares… Oh no… I hope she's getting better…
...Wait shit fuck the logs are audio no no no delete DELETE--
----
April 2026, I-8
Nothing so far. All quiet in the sector.
----
April 2026, I-19
Ah~... This swimsuit is soooo tiiiiiight… Iku wants to just take it off and roll around~... The floor is soooo coooold and niceeeee…. Mm~~... Coooooolddddd….~~ Rolly poly rolly rolly poly~~
...Ara? The logs are audio-recorded, right? No problem~~ Nothing going on in this sector, Admiral, no worries~~~ <3
----
Konoe looks up from the report with a strange combination of cold sweat and a confused frown. "What the fuck?"
Admiral Takamichi nods. "They're either psychotic or stupid. Possibly both. It's probably for the best that they're out at sea most of the time."
"...Is their intel reliable? Two of them were just fucking around."
The Admiral scoffs. He makes a sweeping gesture around his office. "And does Yokosuka scream 'disciplined as fuck' to you? It's good enough, we have a solid info net around Japanese waters, and enough intel to know when the best time to initiate operations is. The main bugbear is that the Abyss doesn't rely on logistics, so that's annoying… But eh that just means more boats to kill. Most shipgirls are positively hungry for kills." He turns to Ooyodo, still sitting at the windowsill. "Right, secretary ship?"
"Just don't ever talk about anal again and we're cool."
The Admiral does a small fist pump behind Ooyodo's back and tries to ignore the fact that he did it in front of the Lt. Commander instead. "Anyways, Lt. Commander, if you're so free, I have a job for you."
"Sure, why not. What?"
The Admiral holds up his phone, already calling someone. It is Kongou. "You have fifteen seconds. Don't threaten me again."
The Lt. Commander laughs and holds up his phone, having already called someone. It is also Kongou. "You're move, teach-durr."
It was a normal day at Yokosuka. Sendai was sleeping, destroyers were doing horribly dangerous things, and MPs were silently praying for the sweet release of death, even though with the emergence of shipgirls the possibility they would be resurrected as eternal MP zombies to serve the navy forever was non-zero. Things were… going surprisingly well, actually.
Which is usually when bored officers spend time with their equally bored commanding officers and shoot the shit. Or ask dumb trivia. But usually shooting the shit by asking dumb trivia.
"We have submarines?"
"We do," the Admiral nods. He takes a sip of tea. "Konoe, what the fuck have you been smoking? Of course we have submarines."
"Sue me I haven't seen a submarine in my two-ish months of being here."
"They aren't the most photogenic sort," the Admiral admits. "And considering that they don't have to do the usual submarine thing of resupplying on land and giving the crew time to stave off the next bout of stir crazy… They're basically permanently at sea." He frowns. "Unless they need docktime. The bucket thing doesn't work quite right yet. We blame the british."
Konoe frowns at his mentor and commanding officer. While he's doing some fucked up shit over the years - and he's known the old man for quite a few years holy shit he's known the old man for quite a few decades - this takes the cake. "So, what… Do the submarines do supply convoys forever, until the end of time, in groups of one or less?"
"Hmm… Well, sort of. It's easier if you see it in person." The Admiral rummages in an open drawer and pulls out a laminated report, stained with dried seawater. "This is a recent report from them."
"Why the hell wasn't it cleaned?"
"Because that day Ooyodo was giving me sass and I didn't feel like doing it myself." He glances at his secretary ship, currently sitting with her legs dangling outside the windowsill and looking at the ocean. "Look if you want time off, you fucking file for time off. I'm not pulling any strings for anyone."
Ooyodo glares at him. She glances at the Lt. Commander briefly before returning to trying to eyelaser holes in the Admiral's forehead.
"Hey, I filed for that weekend off properly!"
"Denied," she mutters, and looks gloomily back out the window.
Konoe and the Admiral share a look. "Why's she so grumpy anyways?" Konoe asks.
"She wants to visit a river or something, I don't fucking know," the Admiral responds. "I get it's important, but if it were that important she would have applied for a weekend pass already. I know I'd give it to her."
"You are surprisingly anal about procedure," Konoe says with a raised eyebrow.
"You are surprisingly procedural about anal," the Admiral retorts with a bemused expression.
"Shut the fuck up, I have Kongou on speed dial."
"What, do you need a demonstration? That is precisely the problem."
"Oh my god."
"The two of you are unusually fixated on butt stuff," Ooyodo says, her head fully turned around like an owl's. "Stop that."
"Oh my god."
Konoe blinks, and Ooyodo is suddenly turned around like a normal person, not an… owl-person. He blinks again. "So… did you see that?"
"Hm? Owl Ooyodo?" The Admiral taps his chin in thought and shakes his head. "It happens sometimes. Anyways, submarines. Read the report."
The Lt. Commander shrugs, wipes off some of the stains, immediately regrets it, and goes about reading.
----
April 2026, I-168
No updates on the sector. Abyssal ship movements are erratic and nonsensical, as usual. Also there is no internet underwater. Please fix that.
----
April 2026, I-58
Found another submerged destroyer, Nenohi. Reserve Fleet. Wasn't even fucking sunk. She just likes being underwater. Several hundred kilometers from Yokosuka. Fucking weirdo. I hate destroyers so much. So. Much.
----
April 2026, I-8
Ah, I hope Prinz is alright… Oh! Her blog had an update! Looks like she just watched Die Hard and is having nightmares… Oh no… I hope she's getting better…
...Wait shit fuck the logs are audio no no no delete DELETE--
----
April 2026, I-8
Nothing so far. All quiet in the sector.
----
April 2026, I-19
Ah~... This swimsuit is soooo tiiiiiight… Iku wants to just take it off and roll around~... The floor is soooo coooold and niceeeee…. Mm~~... Coooooolddddd….~~ Rolly poly rolly rolly poly~~
...Ara? The logs are audio-recorded, right? No problem~~ Nothing going on in this sector, Admiral, no worries~~~ <3
----
Konoe looks up from the report with a strange combination of cold sweat and a confused frown. "What the fuck?"
Admiral Takamichi nods. "They're either psychotic or stupid. Possibly both. It's probably for the best that they're out at sea most of the time."
"...Is their intel reliable? Two of them were just fucking around."
The Admiral scoffs. He makes a sweeping gesture around his office. "And does Yokosuka scream 'disciplined as fuck' to you? It's good enough, we have a solid info net around Japanese waters, and enough intel to know when the best time to initiate operations is. The main bugbear is that the Abyss doesn't rely on logistics, so that's annoying… But eh that just means more boats to kill. Most shipgirls are positively hungry for kills." He turns to Ooyodo, still sitting at the windowsill. "Right, secretary ship?"
"Just don't ever talk about anal again and we're cool."
The Admiral does a small fist pump behind Ooyodo's back and tries to ignore the fact that he did it in front of the Lt. Commander instead. "Anyways, Lt. Commander, if you're so free, I have a job for you."
"Sure, why not. What?"
The Admiral holds up his phone, already calling someone. It is Kongou. "You have fifteen seconds. Don't threaten me again."
The Lt. Commander laughs and holds up his phone, having already called someone. It is also Kongou. "You're move, teach-durr."
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
IMUYA GET OFF THE F******G PHONE
Ahem.
Subs at last! Was looking forward to this, but where's the rest? That Yuu isn't around isn't surprising, none of the German boats are back yet, but Nimu should be around. Hitomi and Iyo as well, unless Iyo's stuck in the drunk tank and Hitomi is busy scrounging up bail money.
16. Magical Girl Abyssal Genocide Shiratsuyu-Chan
- Location
- Singapore
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Don't expect long updates though! Or even frequent updates. Just updates.
...Yeah.
----
2026, May
"The fuck you say?"
"Language. You know our policy."
Lt. Commander Konoe groans. He puts out a hand, and beside him Shiratsuyu hands him a large scroll and a brush. Quickly, he writes it out in perfect Kanji script. Afterwards, he hangs it up on the wall, alongside the other proclamations various members of Yokosuka have made at the Admiral. It's only the third one, granted, but it's going to be one hell of a tradition.
"Thy fucketh thee sayeth?", it reads.
The Admiral nods, procedure satisfied. "I told you that originally, shipgirls didn't have rigging. They came as steelhulls, and a girl-shaped ship spirit."
"I came back first!" Shiratsuyu chirps, collecting brushes and wiping away an inkblot on her cheek that somehow got there. It's exceptional, actually, considering that they're using the kind of caligraphy paper that only needs water. No one brought in any ink.
"Of course you did," the Lt. Commander says patronisingly.
"Mm," the Admiral grunts. "Long story short, they figured out how to summon their wargear as personal weapons after watching anime--"
"Wait what?!" The Admiral gives him a significant eyebrow, hands clasped. Konoe clenches his fists. "Oh fuck you I'm not doing it again."
"Shame," the Admiral sighs. :It could have been one hell of a tradition."
"FINE! Shiratsuyu--"
"No, nevermind. Stop kicking the dead horse, you disappointment."
Something akin to nails on a chalkboard echoes through the Admiral's office, to the disinterest of everyone present. Outside, however, at least five Destroyers start experiencing fits, which in turn results in the Military Police suffering fits. But that's a story for another time. "How," Commander Konoe asks.
"I don't know, probably magic. You'd have to ask--"
"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT," Shiratsuyu suddenly shouts.
"Great greedy gacha what the fu--"
"IT WAS DARK AND STORMY AND SHIGURE WENT OUT TO MEDITATE OR SOMETHING, BUT YUUBARI CAME IN WITH A MISSION!"
----
It was a moderately cloudy late afternoon. The destroyers had just finished torpedo drills, and it was a friday so they got the rest of the day - plus the weekend - off. Miyuki was chasing Shigure with a hose - we're still not sure why - and the rest of the destroyers were lounging around in the common room bored out of their minds. It was, quite literally, their first three day weekend, and they had no idea what to spend their time on.
So they were in the midst of ripping out all the floor panels when the Light Cruisers walked in with pillows, snacks, and other electronics.
"We're here to have fun!" Naka declares at the head of the Light Cruiser group, while Jintsuu eased carefully through the door with a sleeping Sendai over her shoulder. "FIND THE IDORUS WHERE'S THE MICR--"
"Let's not," Yuubari says. She was still wearing her tank top - busy at the docks with Akashi as she usually is - but was wearing an unzipped hoodie over it. She holds up a hard drive, smiling. "So, do you guys have a computer?"
"Whazzat, Yuubari?" Mutsuki asked.
"Something. Amazing."
----
"AND THEN WE WENT ON A QUEST, BUT ME FIRST!"
The Admiral is... not quite pinching his nose, but it's a thing he's done before. "That's... more or less accurate."
"I'm more concerned that these little girls can tear up the floor mats with their bare hands," Konoe says with slight terror.
"I'm more concerned that you're such a plebian fuck," the Admiral says with a sigh. He also pre-empts his response. "How many rounds of chargeball have you broken up at this point?"
"...Fair enough." The Lt. Commander composes himself, hands on his lap. "So, what did they watch?"
"What do you think?"
----
As the black-haired girl leaped into a mess of monsters and the credits played, Yuubari stopped the video and turned to the audience. All of them were looking on with wide eyes and hanging jaws. It was already nighttime, but no one was tired. "What do you girls think?" She asked.
"...Next season please," Hatsuyuki says.
"They never made another season, only a mobage game and a mov--"
"Play it."
"...Okay?"
----
This time, the Admiral was definitely pinching his nose.
"...What? What happened?" The Lt. Commander tilts his head. "Shiratsuyu stopped talking, and then you aren't talking at all! What happened?!"
"A huge mistake," Admiral Takamichi sighs. "Also they watched Rebellion, but I just remembered something else that happened that night."
"What else happened that night?"
----
"QUICK! WE NEED A VIDEO CAMERA, SOME GREEN PAINT, AND A WHOLE LOT OF 12.7cm SHELLS!" Sendai was wide awake now, slapping her palms together. "COME ON GIRLS WE CAN SHOOT THIS TONIGHT!"
"Why are you so energetic," Jintsuu asks, struggling not to yawn.
"THIS TOO IS A NIGHT BATTLE!"
"Sendai please--"
"NIGHT! BATTLE!"
----
"...Huh." Konoe shrugs. "I mean I've heard stories, but... Wait, did they--"
"Yes. It was badly done. We burned every copy." The Admiral looks out the window, lost in his thoughts. "But I wonder..."
Konoe looks around, left and right. Shiratsuyu had already curled up into a ball and went to bed, occasionally pawing at his chair and mumbling 'first'. "...So, the rigging thing?"
"Hm? Oh! Right, that thing. So, the next day..."
----
Yokosuka woke up to explosions the next morning.
All hands went to battle stations immediately. Sleeping servicemen were waken up, night sentries put on helmets, missile silos were opened and defensive walls were raised. Marines ran everywhere, setting up defensive positions, getting ready for another amphibious Abyssal assault. The Admiral woke up to a splitting headache and a light cruiser climbing in through his window, adjusting her glasses as she handed him a report.
And then suddenly, the air shakes with,
"GIRLS I DID IT I'M A MAGICAL GIRL! YAAAAAY!"
Silence followed for a few seconds, and then...
"OH COME ON FUBUKI HOW DID YOU DO IT FIRST?!"
"S-SORRY, SHIRATSUYU! I WAS JUST SO EXCITED AND--"
"GAAAAAAH I'LL TORPEDO YOUR STERN FUBUKI! COME HERE!"
"...Lewd."
"NOT NOW HIBIKI!"
From his office overlooking the naval district, the Admiral observes as two shipgirls went at it in a - relatively speaking - girly slapfight. That involved dummy torpedoes that exploded, dummy shells that exploded, and a whole lot of shouting.
But instead of two fully metal ships going at it like it was a B Movie, it was two barely-pubescent girls having a girly slapfight... that also involved high-velocity shells, torpedoes, and walking on fucking water.
"Break up that fight and bring them to my office," he says to Ooyodo, who nods and salutes immediately. Not long after the building shakes as a wall is blown open, and Nagato leaps out while carrying a riot shield and a naginata.
----
"I'm still not sure where she found that naginata," the Admiral says with a sigh. "I mean, Mutsu's the more wife-like sister."
"Don't say that, I think Nagato would cry."
"Nah, the only one who can make her cry is you."
Lt. Commander Konoe takes a deep breath, inhale and exhale. "Mutsu still wants my head, doesn't she?"
"She's on Amazon looking for a rusty chainsaw," the Admiral says flatly. "So, to conclude that flashback, I found out what happened, I encouraged them to develop it further, and now everyone has it. Though," he frowns, "I think everyone low-key had it already. Nagato was running on water after she landed on the pier and broke the concrete. Just needed a push."
"...So the only reason they have an in-between form is because you have a magical girl fetish."
"I wouldn't call it a fetish," the Admiral says defensively, "More of an appreciation. Because I appreciate the looks the other JSDF generals have when they realise their 120mm shells do jack-and-shit against even a tiny destroyer girl with her rigging out."
"...You have very strange tastes."
The Admiral shrugs and smiles. "I learned from the best."
"Bullshit, don't you pin this on me!"
On the ground, as they bickered, Shiratsuyu yawned and continued to dream of her adventures in a frilly dress.
...Yeah.
----
2026, May
"The fuck you say?"
"Language. You know our policy."
Lt. Commander Konoe groans. He puts out a hand, and beside him Shiratsuyu hands him a large scroll and a brush. Quickly, he writes it out in perfect Kanji script. Afterwards, he hangs it up on the wall, alongside the other proclamations various members of Yokosuka have made at the Admiral. It's only the third one, granted, but it's going to be one hell of a tradition.
"Thy fucketh thee sayeth?", it reads.
The Admiral nods, procedure satisfied. "I told you that originally, shipgirls didn't have rigging. They came as steelhulls, and a girl-shaped ship spirit."
"I came back first!" Shiratsuyu chirps, collecting brushes and wiping away an inkblot on her cheek that somehow got there. It's exceptional, actually, considering that they're using the kind of caligraphy paper that only needs water. No one brought in any ink.
"Of course you did," the Lt. Commander says patronisingly.
"Mm," the Admiral grunts. "Long story short, they figured out how to summon their wargear as personal weapons after watching anime--"
"Wait what?!" The Admiral gives him a significant eyebrow, hands clasped. Konoe clenches his fists. "Oh fuck you I'm not doing it again."
"Shame," the Admiral sighs. :It could have been one hell of a tradition."
"FINE! Shiratsuyu--"
"No, nevermind. Stop kicking the dead horse, you disappointment."
Something akin to nails on a chalkboard echoes through the Admiral's office, to the disinterest of everyone present. Outside, however, at least five Destroyers start experiencing fits, which in turn results in the Military Police suffering fits. But that's a story for another time. "How," Commander Konoe asks.
"I don't know, probably magic. You'd have to ask--"
"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT," Shiratsuyu suddenly shouts.
"Great greedy gacha what the fu--"
"IT WAS DARK AND STORMY AND SHIGURE WENT OUT TO MEDITATE OR SOMETHING, BUT YUUBARI CAME IN WITH A MISSION!"
----
It was a moderately cloudy late afternoon. The destroyers had just finished torpedo drills, and it was a friday so they got the rest of the day - plus the weekend - off. Miyuki was chasing Shigure with a hose - we're still not sure why - and the rest of the destroyers were lounging around in the common room bored out of their minds. It was, quite literally, their first three day weekend, and they had no idea what to spend their time on.
So they were in the midst of ripping out all the floor panels when the Light Cruisers walked in with pillows, snacks, and other electronics.
"We're here to have fun!" Naka declares at the head of the Light Cruiser group, while Jintsuu eased carefully through the door with a sleeping Sendai over her shoulder. "FIND THE IDORUS WHERE'S THE MICR--"
"Let's not," Yuubari says. She was still wearing her tank top - busy at the docks with Akashi as she usually is - but was wearing an unzipped hoodie over it. She holds up a hard drive, smiling. "So, do you guys have a computer?"
"Whazzat, Yuubari?" Mutsuki asked.
"Something. Amazing."
----
"AND THEN WE WENT ON A QUEST, BUT ME FIRST!"
The Admiral is... not quite pinching his nose, but it's a thing he's done before. "That's... more or less accurate."
"I'm more concerned that these little girls can tear up the floor mats with their bare hands," Konoe says with slight terror.
"I'm more concerned that you're such a plebian fuck," the Admiral says with a sigh. He also pre-empts his response. "How many rounds of chargeball have you broken up at this point?"
"...Fair enough." The Lt. Commander composes himself, hands on his lap. "So, what did they watch?"
"What do you think?"
----
As the black-haired girl leaped into a mess of monsters and the credits played, Yuubari stopped the video and turned to the audience. All of them were looking on with wide eyes and hanging jaws. It was already nighttime, but no one was tired. "What do you girls think?" She asked.
"...Next season please," Hatsuyuki says.
"They never made another season, only a mobage game and a mov--"
"Play it."
"...Okay?"
----
This time, the Admiral was definitely pinching his nose.
"...What? What happened?" The Lt. Commander tilts his head. "Shiratsuyu stopped talking, and then you aren't talking at all! What happened?!"
"A huge mistake," Admiral Takamichi sighs. "Also they watched Rebellion, but I just remembered something else that happened that night."
"What else happened that night?"
----
"QUICK! WE NEED A VIDEO CAMERA, SOME GREEN PAINT, AND A WHOLE LOT OF 12.7cm SHELLS!" Sendai was wide awake now, slapping her palms together. "COME ON GIRLS WE CAN SHOOT THIS TONIGHT!"
"Why are you so energetic," Jintsuu asks, struggling not to yawn.
"THIS TOO IS A NIGHT BATTLE!"
"Sendai please--"
"NIGHT! BATTLE!"
----
"...Huh." Konoe shrugs. "I mean I've heard stories, but... Wait, did they--"
"Yes. It was badly done. We burned every copy." The Admiral looks out the window, lost in his thoughts. "But I wonder..."
Konoe looks around, left and right. Shiratsuyu had already curled up into a ball and went to bed, occasionally pawing at his chair and mumbling 'first'. "...So, the rigging thing?"
"Hm? Oh! Right, that thing. So, the next day..."
----
Yokosuka woke up to explosions the next morning.
All hands went to battle stations immediately. Sleeping servicemen were waken up, night sentries put on helmets, missile silos were opened and defensive walls were raised. Marines ran everywhere, setting up defensive positions, getting ready for another amphibious Abyssal assault. The Admiral woke up to a splitting headache and a light cruiser climbing in through his window, adjusting her glasses as she handed him a report.
And then suddenly, the air shakes with,
"GIRLS I DID IT I'M A MAGICAL GIRL! YAAAAAY!"
Silence followed for a few seconds, and then...
"OH COME ON FUBUKI HOW DID YOU DO IT FIRST?!"
"S-SORRY, SHIRATSUYU! I WAS JUST SO EXCITED AND--"
"GAAAAAAH I'LL TORPEDO YOUR STERN FUBUKI! COME HERE!"
"...Lewd."
"NOT NOW HIBIKI!"
From his office overlooking the naval district, the Admiral observes as two shipgirls went at it in a - relatively speaking - girly slapfight. That involved dummy torpedoes that exploded, dummy shells that exploded, and a whole lot of shouting.
But instead of two fully metal ships going at it like it was a B Movie, it was two barely-pubescent girls having a girly slapfight... that also involved high-velocity shells, torpedoes, and walking on fucking water.
"Break up that fight and bring them to my office," he says to Ooyodo, who nods and salutes immediately. Not long after the building shakes as a wall is blown open, and Nagato leaps out while carrying a riot shield and a naginata.
----
"I'm still not sure where she found that naginata," the Admiral says with a sigh. "I mean, Mutsu's the more wife-like sister."
"Don't say that, I think Nagato would cry."
"Nah, the only one who can make her cry is you."
Lt. Commander Konoe takes a deep breath, inhale and exhale. "Mutsu still wants my head, doesn't she?"
"She's on Amazon looking for a rusty chainsaw," the Admiral says flatly. "So, to conclude that flashback, I found out what happened, I encouraged them to develop it further, and now everyone has it. Though," he frowns, "I think everyone low-key had it already. Nagato was running on water after she landed on the pier and broke the concrete. Just needed a push."
"...So the only reason they have an in-between form is because you have a magical girl fetish."
"I wouldn't call it a fetish," the Admiral says defensively, "More of an appreciation. Because I appreciate the looks the other JSDF generals have when they realise their 120mm shells do jack-and-shit against even a tiny destroyer girl with her rigging out."
"...You have very strange tastes."
The Admiral shrugs and smiles. "I learned from the best."
"Bullshit, don't you pin this on me!"
On the ground, as they bickered, Shiratsuyu yawned and continued to dream of her adventures in a frilly dress.
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
Of course-
Ninja'd by the author himself!
Oh, and Konoe. I guess.
Girl you are my spirit animal.
Now then, I must get back to laughing myself sick.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
This will end well...
Yup, it did.
Ah, proper and ladylike. Good Nagato.
Found it!
Oh Hell no. Do you want those girls to discover The Power of Orbital Friendship Cannons?Should've gone with nanoha or symphogear.
ColdGoldLazarus
Contrary Quester, Spreadsheet Queen, Pink Flamingo
- Location
- Challenger Deep
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Ooh, an update! It's been a while; glad to see you writing again.
Okay, that's just adorable.
Symphogear would have been perfect for this, methinks.Should've gone with nanoha or symphogear.
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- Location
- Singapore
Symphogear is for the Battleships.
- Location
- Void of Observation
...go on.
If that happens, either Abyssals sue for peace at light speed.... Or doing something stupid like summoning Jail Scaglietti.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
ColdGoldLazarus
Contrary Quester, Spreadsheet Queen, Pink Flamingo
- Location
- Challenger Deep
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Well, that brought on a sudden bout of nostalgia.
Shipgirls would make EVERYTHING GO BOOM.