Kindling
Rose watched herself die. Through her own eyes, through her ghost's eyes, through the eyes of her now-dead wraiths. Her body crumpled, jerked, writhed, burned, and drowned. Breath escaped her lungs, bubbling into the air, involuntary reflex finally forcing water into her lungs. The Eliksni pinned her to a wall with a blade. A shot of celestial fire pierced through her bubble, popping it, her stunned corpse tumbling backward into a burning hell.
Her ghost kept the replay on mute. Caring for her, wanting her to maintain some level of detachment from the sight of her own death playing again and again. Rose wasn't sure how much it helped, her breath catching in her chest with each death, even as she watched with unblinking eyes.
"Let's take a walk," Rose said. She was surprised by how dull her own voice sounded. Tired.
Her ghost followed her as she left the room, as they walked through the halls. Some other people had populated the area, but didn't question her presence as she passed them. Outside, it was cold. Not just bracing, but bitingly, shockingly cold. Her breath misted, and the sky was cloudy and dark. Her nose hurt. If she could manipulate Solar, she would've been capable of striding out into the cold, melting the snow around her. Instead, she was stuck.
Impulsively, she ran. Her body burst through the snow, strength propelling her through it, sinking deeper as she went, her sprint turning into a slog, and then into a halting shove, trying to clear a path forward with frantic arms. She struck at the snow, her movements jerkier, slowing as she shivered.
"Rose," her ghost said.
"I know," Rose hissed. Helpless. Slogging through the snow yet again. She'd seen those deaths, needing to be saved, incapable of doing anything but pushing forward and dying. The snow was cold against her already shivering body as she made her way back toward the Sunbreaker enclave. "I know," she repeated, through chattering teeth. She was aware of what she was trying to do, the same thing she'd continually tried, because it worked. To throw herself at the problem, to make herself the target and resolve it along the way. To have the plan and be the one in the fray.
But it wasn't enough anymore. She stumbled through the warm hallways, getting more looks this time, and ignoring them as she walked toward her room.
"If you weren't here," Rose said, once she'd stopped trembling, "I would've gone to see the Forge." She paused, trying to find the words. Her ghost knew what she was going to say, but it felt important to say it. Having it break her felt preferable to being broken. Being incapable of contributing was anathema to her. "I wanted a solution. Concrete answers. How long will this take? How much time do we lose here to have them even attempt to unravel what's wrong with me?"
"Because you need to be involved," her ghost said, voice soft, painfully kind. "You
have to be there."
Resentment welled up, then subsided as Rose slumped. "The City is falling. Right now," she said. "It's still falling while I'm here."
"It is," her ghost said. "And you would die. You did everything you could. You were there. You helped."
Rose stared at the ceiling, which remained reproachfully silent.
"You view the inability to contribute on your behalf as failure," her ghost said. "Despite contributing, your lack of perceived meaningful difference made can't be justified. So you fixate, which has solved other problems. But not this one, because this isn't one you can brute force through cleverness, willpower, and sacrificing yourself."
"You picked this up from Lisa," Rose said.
Her ghost's shell rotated, spooling out before reforming in an approximation of a shrug. "You want the fastest way to improve. I am providing you with the proverbial carrot."
"If that's the carrot, what's the stick?" Rose asked.
"You keep digging," her ghost said. "We're at rock bottom. We've been given every opportunity to make our way out. We keep clawing at the ground, until your hands are bloody and broken. Failure is familiar to us. We're used to failing and making our way back through sheer grit. It has to be you. That's not saying the decision has to be you, I'm repeating myself. You have a near pathological obsession, maybe nature, but definitely nurtured by what we've done and accomplished, to be the one solely responsible. You
need to be involved. And now it's killing us. Not just you, which you would be fine with. It's killing our chances of success."
Rose rubbed her shaking hands, trying to still them. "Like you haven't helped," she said. The urge to lash out further was there, but it wouldn't help. It would just make things worse.
"I have," her ghost said, drifting to rest between Rose's fingers, "but we have the opportunity to change. You see that. You're afraid. I'm afraid. But we have help. Let's take it. Please."
Rose enclosed her ghost in a cage of her fingers, staring at the single blue eye. She couldn't stop her trembling. It was always easier to fight. To go in and find the solution, and let her body fail again, and again, and again. To let her stubbornness outlast theirs.
"Okay," Rose said. It felt like giving up. Like she'd failed to keep digging even if her hands were bloody, even if it went down to the bone. Her teeth grit together, her jaw clenched in frustration.
"Together," her ghost said.
Rose closed her eyes. The tension seeped away, even if the sense of defeat lingered. She breathed, in and out.
Her ghost said nothing, waiting, using her flaps to hold Rose's hand, letting her know she was there. Defeat faded, replaced with resignation. Regret commingled with faint amusement as Rose ran a thumb over her ghost's shell. "What would I do without you?"
"Die for good, probably," her ghost said.
Rose's lips pursed in barely restrained amusement, and she let out air through her nose. She shook her head, the tension slipping from her as she fell back against the wall. It hadn't even been that funny. "Together," she said, staring once again at the ceiling.
It was freezing when Rose awoke. Cold enough that even when wrapped in furs, she was still chattering. She stepped out into the hall, where a Sunbreaker was keeping vigil, slightly hunched over next to the firepit. Eyes like lit coals glanced up at her before darkening.
"Cold?" he asked. His voice was a rumble, and he stepped over to chunks of roughly hewn wood without waiting for an answer. He took a chunk of the wood, examining it. It met his approval, and he stepped back over, stirring up coals with his bare hands. He broke the piece of wood up, placing the fragments in loose layers before putting his hand atop the makeshift tower. "I am working on my finer control," he said. The wood smoked, then caught fire. "There you are."
Rose approached, feeling the warmth. It moved with the flame itself, as the smaller twigs crumpled in on themselves, blackening and burning. "Thank you," she said, when her chattering had eased.
"Easier to burn bright," he said, resting a hand on the metal hammer slung at his hip. "Harder to control."
Rose glanced at the hammer. The Sunbreakers all seemed to have one, small or large. This one had spiked tips on the face of the hammer, with a jagged back claw. "You make your hammers in the Forge?" she asked.
"Ah," he said, removing the hammer from his belt and handing it to her. "Yes."
Rose took the weapon. The handle was straight, with notches to make it easier to grip. It was warm to the touch, reminding her of sitting on a stone, basking in sunlight. Her fingers curled around the grip. "Weighted for throwing," she murmured, feeling the heft.
"Yes," said the man, a wide smile on his face. "Imbued with the sun's fire."
Rose returned the hammer. It felt like a similar process to her revolver, and her connection to the Void. A focus with which to interact with the Light, to ease the process of using it, a link forged through a relic. "I've seen others make guns with Solar energy," Rose said.
"And I, swords," the man said.
"Why hammers?" Rose asked.
"Hammers can break and build," said the man. "A very blunt metaphor." He let out a bark of laughter at his own joke.
Rose stared at him.
The man cleared his throat awkwardly. "Heat transforms. It shatters bonds. Breaks things into component pieces, and we facilitate it. But can also bring together. Meld, weld. It is how it was explained to me. Our hammers represent this. Making and breaking."
"Makes sense," Rose said. So the hammer was a relic, a focus through which they used their Light.
"Interesting, representative of the group regardless of whether they prefer destruction or creation," her ghost whispered. "Deliberate decision, or happenstance?"
What was the Forge, then? Another more direct link to the Traveler? Some Golden Age technology, repurposed through a communal link with other Risen?
"You have difficulty with Solar Light," said the man. "Or you would provide your own heat."
Rose gave a slight nod.
"Too much, or too little?" the man asked.
"Too much," Rose said.
"Ah," said the man. "It burns you? Or just others?"
"I've been through this already," Rose said. "Burns me."
"I am sorry," said the man. "I do not know, so I ask."
"It's alright," Rose said. She stared into the flickering flame. It flowed back and forth, caged by the surrounding pieces of wood. Licks of fire caressed the sides of the cage, the white turning cherry red around the edges. The cracks became more prominent, the weak points blackening, consumed. It warmed her fingers, and her shivering had stopped. As the wood turned ashen gray, the man leaned over and blew, embers flickering and sparking, red emerging once again if only briefly.
"Good luck," said the man. "I will go to help with breakfast."
It was dark. Difficult to tell the time, so Rose glanced at her ghost.
"You've been sleeping better," her ghost said. "Early morning. They must… start with the rising of the sun?"
"Makes sense," Rose said. She stepped over to the lumber, hefting a piece up. At least she seemed to be regaining her strength. Her fingers prised the wood apart into uneven chunks, and she sat by the fire. "How long do you think?" she asked. "Give me a timetable."
"You're not talking about them making food. You want a timetable on moving on," her ghost said.
"I want your analysis," Rose said, staring at her ghost. She held a piece of wood into the fire until it caught, then dropped it in. "You've been watching, right?"
"Mostly eavesdropping," her ghost said. "Not that it helped much. They're not the most talkative bunch. Some discussion about the City, grunts about what to eat. You're the most interesting thing to happen for a while."
"Wonderful," Rose said. "What else?"
"The markers I've been looking at in passing have been murals and personal works," her ghost said. "They often have very distinctive styles, which make possible timelines. Collaborations are also common."
"Anything indicative of their…" Rose struggled to find the word, waving another piece of wood.
"Graduation date?" her ghost asked.
"Essentially," Rose said. "Or is there some marker in skill?"
"There is an element of structure," her ghost said. "Not total freedom. Basic principles I assume so they don't end up accidentally causing a cave-in."
"Wouldn't be surprised if it's happened before," Rose said, thinking about the false-Dragon.
"Me neither," her ghost said. "Makes me curious if new arrivals are kept sequestered or moved often. If they move consistently as a unit, does that make the Forge a portable resource? The schism between the Sunbreakers would imply it is. I've heard tales of an eternal flame kindled by a single woman. Could the Forge be something similar? A communal kindling of Solar Light, capable of being split and merged?"
"Are you trying to build a timeline off this?"
"Yes," her ghost said. "They move, but not too often. The immortality of Lightbearers makes them capable of leaving or staying on a whim. Their nomadic lifestyle wouldn't necessarily require awareness of surroundings, as ghosts can circumvent any issues getting lost. They would likely only set up semi-permanent camps to either establish ground, create shelter, or to care for and teach others. This outpost is defensible."
"Has good sightlines, hard to reach," Rose said. "Reinforced. Wouldn't do much against a barrage of ship fire, I'd expect, but difficult to do anything against that."
"Relatively concealed," her ghost conceded. "And as there doesn't appear to be substantive animal husbandry, they need to be hunting and gathering for their meals. Unless they're strictly rationing, but I don't think that's the case."
"Seasonal, then," Rose said. "Might have scavenged some hydroponics."
"Also possible. Might be where their grains come from. Wouldn't be transportable, but might be recreatable through glimmer," her ghost said.
"Any closer to a timetable?" Rose asked, putting another splintered piece of wood into the fire. It sparked and sputtered for a moment. She heard movement behind her and spun. Her gun was in her hand, but she kept it low, slowly holstering it.
"Good reflexes," said a woman. "Better control." She was shorter than Rose, and unarmored, but the way she held herself more than made up for it. Her shoulders were square, her hands clasped behind her back in parade rest. Her eyes were like flint, steely gray and lit by the fire. "Thank you for not killing me," she said, voice deadpan.
"You surprised me," Rose said. She raised her hands up. "No harm meant."
The woman made a dismissive gesture. "No harm done. We live in dangerous times. Emily."
"Rose," said Rose.
"You're eager to get back out there," said Emily.
"I am," Rose said.
"So you're attempting to understand the Sunbreakers and how they work, in order to get a head start. Your control issues aren't a matter of choice. They're actively interfering with your goals," Emily said.
"Yes," Rose said.
"Taciturn when you're speaking with someone you don't trust," Emily said.
"You were eavesdropping," Rose said. "Not particularly inspiring of it."
"True," Emily said, "and what of your reconnaissance? It's important to do your research."
"How long have you been spying on me?" Rose asked.
"I do my research," Emily said, the corners of her mouth curling ever so slightly in a smile. "Ordinarily, I would have waited to vet you. Impulsive, impatient, desperate. Not good qualities in a recruit struggling to control her Light. It would be better to wait for more reports."
Rose crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow in lieu of response.
"Adversarial too," Emily said. "But I digress. The City is lost. Sunbreakers didn't have stellar relations with the City, but I had a vested interest in the accountability of Lightbearers. I will admit I didn't expect the attack, nor did I expect the schism to be so pronounced."
Rose mulled the words over, processing them. The barely contained frustration in Emily's tone was palpable. The woman wasn't visibly angry, beyond the faint heat shimmer radiating from a hand resting on the head of the hammer at her hip. "What do you want?"
"A violent coup of the City has resulted in the fracturing of the populace. Immigrants and refugees will soon be everywhere. Caring for the sick, the wounded, the young, the elderly, is all a drain on resources. It needs to be done, but it engenders distrust, and makes the group easy prey for those on the hunt." Emiliy tapped her hammer. "The Light is a deadly weapon. The injured will be suffering. Burns, nerve damage, disintegration."
"I've seen them," Rose said, voice hard.
"And you want justice," Emily said. "Retribution?"
"I want to right the wrongs," Rose said.
Emily's posture shifted, putting her weight on one foot as she leaned back. "How many have you killed?"
"Enough," Rose said. "But I can't take them on alone."
"You're negotiating for the Sunbreakers to help you," Emily said.
"I am," Rose said. "Are you in charge?"
"The position of leadership is…" Emily paused, thinking her words over. "In flux. The separation left the Sunbreakers disparate. Differing opinions on what to do next. Many are firebrands, if you'll excuse the joke."
Rose took the bait, cutting straight to the point. "If you were the leader, would you help?"
Emily smiled, apparently satisfied. "I'm willing. Warlords in power are dangerous. Their success means the potential resurgence of others who think they can mimic said success. Accountability is necessary in order to keep the peace. Justice is necessary."
"How are you going to convince the other Sunbreakers, if they're so disparate?" Rose asked.
Emily's smile widened. "That's where you come in," she said. "Follow me. We'll help with breakfast."
Breakfast was a bustling affair. The cooking area itself was a mix of old and new. Rose recognized the clean utilitarian furniture as ones she'd seen standard issue in bunkers. They passed drying rooms, grow rooms, pantries, and finally arrived at the kitchen proper. There was a large cauldron of fragrant liquid being stirred, smelling strongly of spice and lentils. Ghosts flew above, holding trays of ingredients. Chunks of meat, dough, and other elements Rose didn't recognize. The place was filled with noise, the sound of metal on metal, knives chopping, voices calling.
"Routine is what keeps the Sunbreakers together right now," Emily said. "You understand."
Rose did. Keeping to a routine, even if it rang hollow, could keep people going.
Emily whistled and pointed as they walked. A few heads turned, and most turned back to what they were doing. "Newbie's helping with bread!" she called. "Goes by Rose."
Rose looked at Emily. "You're not coming?"
"My influence would look too grating," Emily said. "Go, talk, socialize. Feel the heat, don't get too badly burned. Respect the fire."
Rose looked toward where Emily had pointed. More new faces, some happier for the help than others. "Alright," she said. "But I want more than metaphors soon."
"After breakfast," Emily said. "Then we'll start untying both knots. Get to know people. Be as helpful as you can without being a pushover. I'll go speak with Cinder."
Rose gave Emily a nod, then walked deeper into the sweltering kitchen, pasting an smile on her face. Given the opportunity, Rose would've eschewed politics entirely. That wasn't an option anymore. Time to make nice.