The Villainess wants to be a Hero

[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
[X] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.

Paladins have to be Lawful Good, right? So if we're a Paladin we obviously can't be a Calamity, or evil- it's another layer to our brilliant disguise!
 
[X] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.

Dodge tanks are just plain cooler.
 
I checked, in 5e they can be of any Alignment.
This is true, annoyingly, but conceptually, especially given the description we see here, and the broader popular imagination of the Paladin, Paladins are much more linked to 'Lawful Good'.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
[x] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
[x] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
 
The blonde's eyes narrow for a moment before widening back up. A smirk slowly unfolds across her face. "Sure, if Alis judges you to be E-rank, then I'll be your partner."
Perception check failed.
I knew I wanted to be a fighter, a specific kind of fighter called a tank—named after the sound an arrow made when it bounced uselessly off a brick wall
This is the only time I've ever seen a diegetic explanation for 'tank' terminology, and I think it's a clever one. Nice!

[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.

Healing OP.
 
[X] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.

With this class, no one would suggest Ciel of being a Calamity. All they would see is a righteous paladin, ready to smite evil and heal the wounded.
 
This is the only time I've ever seen a diegetic explanation for 'tank' terminology, and I think it's a clever one. Nice!

Thanks. I wanted to keep the term for fairly obvious reasons, so I was pretty pleased with myself when I came up with a reasonable explanation.

That said, I'm gonna close it here. Update will be out on Monday.
Scheduled vote count started by dmclain2 on Apr 4, 2024 at 2:40 PM, finished with 24 posts and 21 votes.
 
In which a Villainess goes on a quest
Markus was snoring and dreaming squirrely dreams inside a scarf-fort he'd made for himself. El had disappeared back upstairs, and if the steady sound of her breathing meant anything, she was asleep, too. Not me, though. I was so excited I wasn't sure whether I would ever go to sleep again.

I wanted to run and jump. I wanted to tell my sisters the great news. I wanted to rampage until everything around me was ash and ruin. But I couldn't do any of that. If I made too much noise, I'd wake El and Markus up. My sisters were busy with their own [Calamity] plots. And I could hardly go on a rampage; I was an adventurer now.

So, instead of doing anything fun, I was looking around my partner's townhouse. Markus—the non-furry one—would have called it snooping because despite being the [Betrayer of Hope], he was big on boring things like etiquette. But he wasn't here to stare judgmentally at my behavior so I could snoop to my heart's content.


I walk into a cozy room with a window that stretches from floor to ceiling and looks out over a small garden kept in full bloom by a line of enchanted script. My eyes light up. Not because of the garden—though some of the plants did look tasty—but because every square inch of the walls are covered in shelf upon shelf of books.

I race over to a lounge chair set up to look out over the garden and pick up the book left open and face down on the cushions. A frown tries to form on my face, because that wasn't the right way to treat a book, but I'm far more interested in my partner's choice of reading materials. What if she liked hero books too? I could hardly wait to find out.

I pick the book up and carefully place a felt bookmark to mark her place before flipping back to the title page. A Brief History of the Decline and Fall of the Empire of Byregot. That didn't seem like a hero story, but maybe it was one of those trick titles that only became clear halfway through the book. I flip through a few pages, skimming past a boring discussion of economic something-or-others and political whatever-you-call-its and proximal causes for something called the-

Eww. I slam the book shut and let it drop so I can wipe the stain of nonfiction off my hands and onto the lounge fabric. Was my new partner a… I couldn't form the word, even in my mind, because it was so insulting, but that did nothing to halt my concern.

Walking over to the nearest shelf, I pull out the first three books: a slim yellow one, a slightly larger red one, and a truly massive book bound by wooden blocks instead of leather. I flip the books open one after another. A Traveler's Guide to Dynegard had some colorful pictures but nothing about heroes. Court Practices in the Nelbian Seas talked too much about different ways to bow. And A Brief Anthology of the [Pontificates] of the Golden Citadel didn't even reference Markus.

Regretfully, I put the books back where I found them, though I have to shove lightly to get the Anthology back into place before looking around the room. There were hundreds of books, maybe even thousands, in the room, so I couldn't say for sure, but my quick check wasn't promising. I sigh; if only I hadn't left my collection in the rubble of my former overlord's castle, I could replace all these boring books with more fun ones tonight.

But since I couldn't, it was time for me to move on. Besides, what kind of [Calamity] would I be if I stayed in a room full of dull books when there was a whole townhouse to explore?


Unfortunately, the rest of the townhouse wasn't even as interesting as the boring book room. There were two more bedrooms, which was good for when Markus and I wanted to stay overnight. There was a room filled with flowery-smelling oils and a [Warm Water] spell bound into a stone depression. There was even a dining room with seats for a dozen people and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A bunch of rooms, all of them boring, until…

A grin splits my face as I recognize the room I've just walked into. I ignored the pots and pans and the block of knives decorating it after a single glance. I'd never learned to cook. Instead, my attention bores into a bounty of food.

A plate with half a roast took pride of place on the kitchen table. Next to it was a pan of something green that had been baked and covered in breadcrumbs. Then, there was a loaf of freshly baked bread sitting in front of shallow saucers of butter and a bright red jam. Finally, and far more deserving of attention than any of the others, was a cake stacked as high as four of my fists piled on top of each other and slathered with cream and bits of shaved chocolate.

I wipe at my mouth to remove any evidence that I was drooling, simultaneously thankful and sad that Markus wasn't there with me. Sad because he wouldn't be able to partake in this feast. Thankful because that meant it was all for me.
Unfortunately for him, I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] for a reason, so I almost instantly set aside those concerns to reach out for the roast. In a single bite, I clean the meat from the bone, and after a moment to revel in the tenderness of the beef combined with the subtle mix of herbs and spices, I chomp down on the bone as well. Cow bone shows that it's no match for [Calamity] teeth, and it shatters with a delightful crunch and lets all that gooey marrow free.

With the roast gone, my eyes flicker to my next dish. I would save the cake for last, but that wouldn't give it more than a moment or two of reprieve, not with how hungry I now was.


I sit back and burp softly as I survey the remnants of my rampage. Half a dozen plates emptied of all but the smallest crumbs and drops of juices. I wasn't a savage that licked plates clean. That [Soulbound Chef] had taught me better.

I sigh in contentment. My belly wasn't full—because of the gluttony part of my class, I never got full—but I was pleasantly not-hungry. In fact, with the slow pulse of food digesting within me, I felt a bit tired. Maybe I would just rest my eyes briefly before finding somewhere else to…

Zzz…


"I wish I could say I was surprised. I do wonder where you put it all, though."

I wake up to my two partners staring at me. El looks exasperated, but true to her words, she doesn't seem at all surprised. Markus, on the other hand, is eyeing me with reproach. It seems pretty obvious that he wanted to have been involved in my feast last night and was upset that I hadn't even bothered to invite him.

I grin easily, well used to these kinds of stares. It was the same kind of look people always gave me when they realized my stomach was a bottomless pit. In my former life, I'd bankrupted more than one overlord until word got around about me. Now that I think about it, I was probably always on the path to being a [Hero]. It just took me a bit longer to get here. Still, since I was well used to exasperation and reproach and more violent emotions in response to my midnight snacking, I knew exactly how to respond.

"Let's go get breakfast!."

A grin crosses my face after my exclamation. Who could stay concerned about a devoured meal when there was a promise of another one right before them? Certainly not me.

El raises a blonde eyebrow, and her kind of purple, kind of blue eyes look me up and down. "I'm going to guess that you're expecting me to pay for that."

"Yep." I nod, happy I had picked a partner with impeccable financial sense. Money had never mattered to me. When I was on my own as a [Calamity], I could just go out and take whatever I wanted. And when I worked for an overlord, some minions and lackeys could do that for me.

"You don't have to sound so happy about it." My partner sighs more to herself than to me, but thanks to my [Superior Hearing], it came across as loud as if she'd said it straight to me. "Fine, let's go get some food. I'll buy you whatever you want-"

"Yay!"

"Within reason."

"Boo!"


I step up to the counter of the same bread store I'd visited yesterday and smile at the pudgy man in an apron.

"Hello, mister. I'm back again. Can I get three of those chocolate bread things, another one of those long sticks of bread, and…"

"Chirp."

"Something with pecans for Markus."

The man looks at me before his eyes drift to my partner. "You with them?"

"Unfortunately."

The man's head tilts at that, seemingly not sure what to make of my partner's humor, before shrugging it away. He looks back down at me and nods. "Well, good for ya, kid, for finding a place to stay. Hard enough being a kid. Let alone one that's got to stay on the street."

I wasn't sure what to make of that, but it hardly mattered when he handed over a piece of wax paper containing mine and Markus's breakfast. I place my fingers on the edge of the paper wrap, intending to tear it open and get to the deliciousness inside, but stop before I can do so. Instead, I turn to my new companion.

"Aren't you going to get anything?" A thread of concern enters my voice. We were going to the adventurer's guild next to pick up a quest. I couldn't have my new partner trying to do adventurer things on an empty stomach. That would be wrong.

"Might as well, I suppose."

I relax as I watch her lean over the display, carefully keeping her long, blonde hair out of the food. She points to a weird-shaped thing covered in a white powder. "How long ago did you fry your beignets?"

"Make the dough the night before and fry them up first thing in the morning." The man replies proudly.

"Then I'll take two of them. I assume it's the same thing for the doughnuts?" The man nods again, and El continues with her order. "And one of the jam-filled doughnuts."

The man hands over a second wax-paper-wrapped treasure and holds out his hand. "That'll be sixteen copper."

"So cheap?" My partner raises an eyebrow.

"Well," the man coughs and then looks at me for some reason. "I try to help out where I can."

That didn't make any sense to me, but it seems my partner understood—and I felt even more confident in leaving the party's finances to her. She pulls a single silver coin from a pouch wrapped tightly around her waist and drops it in the man's hand. "Keep the change."

"I-" The man trails off as he looks at both of us. He shrugs, still seeming like there is something he wants to say, but after a moment, he sighs and puts the coin in a lockbox. "Thank you, ma'am. Come back whenever."

"Bye, mister." I wave to the pudgy man and then turn to my partner. "Let's go eat by the fountain. The one with the fishking."

"That's Orthenal I, the founder of Reitzland. The statue represents the Reitz's bounty and his role in establishing the fisheries that have fed the city to this day." My partner corrects me with some boring bit of history but allows herself to be led toward the center of the intersection where Fishking Orthenal awaits.

"I like it because he's riding a fish." I needed to let her know why I thought it was so cool, or she'd think that I liked boring history stuff as much as she did.

"That's not surprising." I let out a short huff of relief, glad once again that she was so perceptive. I couldn't have made a better pick for my first teammate.

When we reach the lip of the fountain, I flop easily down on the same spot I sat in yesterday. I wait a moment for Markus to hop off, scarf clenched lightly between his teeth, before tearing open our breakfast and shoving a pan au chocolat into my mouth in a single bite. With my cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's, I hand over a braided piece of bread filled with a pecan mash and drizzled with maple syrup to my furry friend.

Markus eats slowly, probably because he hasn't learned to dislocate your jaw to fit larger bites inside—something I would have to teach him how to do someday—but my breakfast is gone in four bites. I decided to take two bites to eat the stick of bread because, if I didn't, it might have raised questions that I wasn't ready to answer. I grin to myself. No one would ever guess just how sneaky I could be.

My enjoyment of my cleverness doesn't last long. Not when I was done with my food and my two companions were still leisurely going through their own. I should have gotten a third chocolate bread. Or maybe a fourth. Or… I turn to look at El, a hopeful look crossing my face as I let my eyes meaningfully shift from her to a beignet sitting uneaten in her lap.

My partner smirks at me and maintains eye contact as she slowly lifts it before taking a huge bite. My face falls, and I take back every good thought I'd ever had about her. She was clearly a [Blackguard] in disguise to take such joy in the suffering of an innocent [Calamity] like me. I look down at Markus, but he's busy washing his paws in the fountain, his breakfast nowhere to be seen. Neither of my companions had saved a single bite for me. How evil.

I refuse to let their betrayal get to me. After all, there was more on my mind than eating—as shocking as my sisters might have found that. I had already completed the first two steps of my plan to become a [Hero], and now I needed to start the third step. My grin takes in my companions sitting on either side of me.

"Let's go pick up a quest from the guild!"


"Hello." I wave happily to the guild receptionist, taking special care so that my E-rank bracelet catches the sunlight from a window. I didn't want her to think Markus and I had failed our tests yesterday.

"Good morning, Ciel and Markus… and is that Edel-"

"It's El, Leah. You know that."

"Is that El I see, awake before noon and deigning to be seen with other adventurers?"

"Tch."

My partner and the receptionist bicker back and forth for a moment before my partner surrenders with a rude gesture and stomps away into the common room.

I make a note for my impeccable memory that my partner had a name she didn't want other people to overhear. That was the kind of secret a princess in disguise kept while desperately seeking allies to help restore her to the throne. While my partner didn't strike me as the desperate type, she did have some princess-y behaviors. Still, I had to let the receptionist know she'd made a mistake.

"You shouldn't use people's secret names like that." I fix her with my best disapproving stare. "They're secret for a reason."

The receptionist opens her mouth as though to respond, only to close it without saying anything. She stares at me for a moment before wilting in the face of my disapproval. "You're not wrong. She just makes it so easy to tease."

"I don't care about that, but secret names are important. What if she was the long-lost daughter of a famous [Archmage] searching for a way to free her mother from [Cycle of Eternity]? You'd be spoiling the whole plot in the first act."

While she was busy being overwhelmed by my genius—and mouthing 'Cycle of Eternity' to herself as though she'd never even heard of the Tier 8 spell before—I decide to shift back to the reason why we'd come in the first place.

"Markus, El, and I need a quest."

"A quest for three E-ranks, hmm…" The receptionist looks over her shoulder at the bulletin board behind her. "Our quests are posted on the board, but if you want my advice-"

"Nope." I turn from the receptionist and race over to the board. How could I call myself an adventurer, let alone a [Hero], if I needed advice on the very first quest my party would take?

My eyes skim along the list of cards nailed to the board. Some looked fun, especially the one to head into the Jhoral Mountains and cull the wyvern flight that had settled there. Unfortunately, it was listed as B-rank. Most of the notices were for quests above our rank, though there was one to find a lost pet that had been flagged as F-rank. I ignored those in favor of snagging a pair of quests marked for E-ranks and racing over to my lounging partner.

"I found two quests! One involves going into the sewer-"

"Not a chance."

A frown crosses my face at that quick dismissal. So many [Hero] stories started with the soon-to-be [Hero] slaying rats in some underground place, but I wasn't going to argue with my companion. My books had hammered home the importance of listening to my party when they wanted something. If I didn't, they'd inevitably betray me and leave me to die somewhere.

"Then how about a trek into the forest to check on some abnormally aggressive wildlife?"

I lay the notice down and wait as she scans it. Eventually, she looks back up at me and sighs, "Sure. How bad could it be?"

"Alright!" My fist pumps in the air with my excitement. "Let's go!"


"Are you sure you're ok on that?" I turn around and look at my partner lounging comfortably on a self-propelled cart.

"Sorry, Ciel." Her face doesn't look sorry at all. It looks quite smug, "there's only space for one up here."

"I didn't want up anyways." I lie. I very much wanted to hop aboard and see just how fast the cart could go, but I couldn't tell my partner that. "I was just wondering how it will handle when we go offroad."

"It's a Tollheim." At my blank stare, she sighs and mutters something that sounds like 'uncultured swine' before continuing. "They're designed to go anywhere a horse can on only twenty to fifty mana stones a day."

"Manastones are crunchy and sparky when I eat them." I smile. Even though they weren't my favorite, the sour taste of raw mana made it a nice, sometimes-treat.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." El turns her stare away from me and to the sky above. "How much farther until we reach our destination."

"I don't know."

I continue walking backward so I can look at my teammate's cart, which means I get a perfect view of the confused scowl that she directs straight at me.

"You don't know?"

"Nope." I shake my head emphatically. I knew we were on a road and that our destination was in a forest, but other than that.

"Did you at least bring a map or-"

"Nope."

"I don't know why I even asked." El doesn't mutter the words as though she were speaking to herself; instead, she looks directly at me. "So you just picked a direction and started walking?"

"Yep." I nod confidently. It was a foolproof plan. One that had never steered me wrong before.

El's eyes darken to purple as she scowls at me. "And what if we're going the wrong way?"

How could we be going in the wrong direction? That didn't even make sense. I was about to tell my annoyed companion as much when my perfect memory pokes me. When I was a [Calamity], I just kind of wandered around looking for fun things to do, and when I was working for an overlord, I mostly used [Hellfire Portal]. I'd never actually tried to find something intentionally like this before.

"Umm…"

"Dead Gods. Ugh. Ciel, you can't just-" This time, I knew she wasn't pointing out a delicious and refreshing snack, so I kept my eyes fixed on my companion firmly enough to see a vein start to throb alongside her temple.

"Chirp."

That's right. We shouldn't be arguing while a bear flanked by two mean-looking wolves slowly sneaks toward us.

"Not now, squirrel."

My face shifts into a frown. That wasn't nice. "His name's Markus."

"He's a squirrel."

While that was true, I didn't go around pointing out that humans were squishy humans. After all, not everyone was lucky enough to be a [Calamity], and they shouldn't be mocked for things they couldn't control.

"He's also a [Rogue] and our companion."

My argument seems to fall on deaf ears as El's scowl deepens, "He's a rodent in a dress shirt."

Now, it was my turn to scowl. If that's how she felt, then maybe I should go on a quick rampage and find another party member later. I'd just have to keep this failed attempt a secret. I decide to let the idea shatter into fractal patterns in my mind, just to check.

But as it reforms, it tells me I should give her another chance. After all, maybe she just wasn't used to furry friends.

"That's not nice-"

"Chirp." Markus interrupts me with a much louder chirp, and I look at the bear and his friends, who are no longer creeping through the forest lining the road but had assembled mere feet behind El's moving cart.

"Exactly." I agreed with my furry friend. "We shouldn't argue in front of the giant bear and his friends."

"What bear?" El shoots up from her lounging pose as her eyes dart through the trees surrounding us.

"The one trying to sneak up on us." Surely, even feeble human noses could make out the smell of blood and violence, right?

"I don't-" Apparently not. It might not have been nice to mock humans for their lack of senses, but I was certainly glad I hadn't been hatched as one.

Still, El was my companion, at least until she insulted Markus again, so it was only right that I pointed out what she couldn't sense. "he's right behind you."

"Holy fuck! How'd a bear-"

On cue, she turns around, only to see the bear rearing up on its hind legs—wow, he was really tall like that—and shouts in a way that sounded more princess-y than adventurer-y. Yet more proof for my hypothesis that she was somebody important in disguise.

"It snuck up while we were arguing. I think it wants your cart." Either that or it wanted to eat her, but I knew I shouldn't say that. I was, after all, a genius.

"I don't care what it wants, Ciel. You're the tank. Get in there and let it maul you."

Sidekicks weren't supposed to tell the [Hero] what to do, but I suppose that since I wasn't actually a [Hero], her order was ok. So I slip my shield from where it sits on my back like a giant turtle shell and wrap it around my right hand. Then I pull my sword free from its sheathe in a smooth motion I'd been practicing all morning and step confidently in front of the bear and his friends.

This would not only be my first fight as a not-[Calamity], but also my first fight in front of my teammates. A good impression was critical. So I slap my shield with the hilt of my sword, letting the grin I feel in my heart form on my face. As the three animals turn toward me with bloodlust in their eyes, I roar.

Unfortunately, my smaller form didn't have the lungs to make a truly impressive roar. That doesn't matter, though, as I take advantage of the momentary confusion to lash out with my sword.

The flat of my blade collides with the skull of one of the bear's friends, and a wolf drops bonelessly to the ground. An instant later, my shield flicks up to block a mouthful of lunging teeth as the other wolf tries to claim vengeance for his fallen partner. I mash my shield forward into his nose before he can leap backward and try again, and his pained howl gives me all the opening I need to bring the pommel of my sword down on his head. He drops as well.

That was two sub-bosses down in two strikes, which I thought was pretty good, but it only seemed to make the bear madder. To be fair, I'd be mad, too, if my sidekicks had been defeated that easily. I didn't have much time to dwell on that before I had to raise my shield to block the swipe of a massive paw.

Unlike with the wolf, my [Enhanced Strength] isn't enough to match the enraged bear, and I'm sent tumbling to the side. I quickly push myself upright, ready for a second attack, but before the bear can bring his paw down in a smash that would knock me flat, I see the glint of Markus's teeth as he flashes behind the bear. I couldn't quite tell where my furry friend had struck, but based on how the bear's roar sounded a bit higher pitched than a roar should, I think I might need to talk with him about inappropriate places to attack.

Still, a distraction was a distraction, so I reluctantly moved forward to boop the bear on his head too, only to stop at a shout of '[Firebolt].' I dodge backward, an arrow of fire searing the air inches in front of my face as it streaks toward a furry flank. The spell hits with a dull boom—kind of like a book slamming closed in a quiet room—and fire washes over the bear's side.

He roars, enraged and on fire, and I grin. This was much more like it. A flaming bear was absolutely a worthy opponent.

I bash a paw strike with my shield, angling it just right so the force deflects at an angle rather than straight on. Even so, I stagger at the strength behind it, and that puts me off balance enough that I don't have time to avoid the second paw as it slams into my chest. Bear claws shred through my [Thick Skin] as though it were paper, even as the force of the blow sends me flying.

The sky and road flip upside down and back up several times before I land with a crack against an inconveniently placed tree. I let out a quiet 'oof' and feel tree bark sliding against my back until my rear end lands on a web of bony roots.

My head spins, or maybe the world spins around me. I couldn't tell. And maybe I would have just found a nice place to rest for a bit if not for a shrill voice shouting my name. Oh, right. I had teammates who would probably be eaten if I took a nap. What kind of [Hero] would I be if I let that happen?

A shake of my head clears the gray fog around my eyes and gives me just enough awareness to interpret the drumbeat echoing in my ears as the frenzied pounding of massive paws against packed dirt. I look up, and sure enough, a bear's maw, opened wider than I was tall, is snapping toward me. I wasn't about to be a snack—I ate bears, not the other way around—and just as it gets close enough that I could feel its hot, stinky breath on my face, I tuck myself into a ball and roll to the side. The teeth of the fire-bear slam shut with a loud crash, but they only taste air.

My rolling dodge moves me past his teeth and front paws, and I grin as I have a free shot at him. My sword flicks out and bites deeply into his back paw. I filter out the sound of an enraged roar that might have damaged my ears if I were human and scamper through the space my strike had opened between his front and rear paws.

I roll to my feet and set into the stance my guildmaster had shown me, but before the bear can turn to bite at me again, a [Firebolt] sears through the air and catches the bear on his snout. I grin. Now, that was teamwork. My grin widens as I see a flash of Markus's teeth—thankfully, this time, he targeted the same paw I'd cut at earlier—before he hops away to the sound of a pained roar.

This was great. We were fighting as a perfectly in-sync unit. Markus and El were peppering the bear with fire and dagger-like bites while I kept his attention on trying to maul me. Just like a tank should.

Even better than the glory of our teamwork was the feel of blood trickling down my chest and my face. Rampaging was fun, but since nothing had ever managed to hurt me, it was a bit boring, but this. This…

I roar again and dash toward the bear. This was everything I had ever wanted.

My shield deflects a paw strike while my sword flicks out and scores a pair of shallow gashes in his chest. I roll between the bear's legs at a shout of 'Ciel! Duck!' and a third [Firebolt] explodes against the mess of matted fur and blood I'd left of the bear's torso.

Before the bear can change his mind and target my companion, I jump back in, sliding my blade along the back of its knee in a quick, sawing motion. I hear more than feel the tendon snap, and my grin stretches as far as my smaller form will allow it as the bear sways clumsily as it tries to lash out at me with his paws.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment is short-lived. With only three paws left and my team working together better than a centuries-old overlord and their most trusted flunkies, the bear falls to defeat quickly. Looking down at the bear's corpse and its many cuts and burns, I almost feel bad for it.

Almost. Because even a [Calamity] knew sometimes food fought back, and there was no one to blame but yourself if you got killed by your snack. Not that anything could truly kill a [Calamity], of course, but the principal remained.

"Fuck! That was- Oh, shit! Ciel!" My partner scrambles down from her cart and rushes over to me. " Are you alright?"

Something in my chest starts to bubble like I'd just eaten a ten-course feast, and a different kind of grin crosses my face—how strange. "I'm ok."

"I saw you get swatted aside." El scowls, but it doesn't look angry at all. It looks scared. I wonder why. "Sit. I've got a potion or two. We'll get you good as new."

"I'm fine." My grin grows wider even as my legs give out, and I fall back on my rear.

"Ciel!" The shout of my name echoes strangely in my ears, as though it was coming from very far away. I hear more words like, 'Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea,' and 'I won't let you die on me, you gluttonous little shit.'

My lips twist in a smirk as those words filter through the haze darkening my thoughts and eyesight. I wasn't a little gluttony. I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] herself. I open my mouth to tell her that, only to find the darkness rushing up to overwhelm me.

[Fighter Level 2!]

[Gained Basic Shield Proficiency]

Ooh, Neat…


"Back with us, huh?"

I open my eyes and stare up at my partner's relieved face. "What happened?"

"Unconsciousness brought on by exsanguination." El must have read the confusion on my face because she offers a lopsided smirk. "Bloodloss. You passed out after losing too much blood."

That didn't sound good, but since I was awake now, it probably was just one of those things that sounded worse than it was. I squirm slightly as I feel my hip digging into something flat and hard. My partner drops a thin, beige pillow on my head.

"Careful sitting up. Your little guy's been refusing to move."

I manage to wedge the pillow into place before looking down at the weight I now realize was sitting on my chest. Markus was staring up at me with a remonstrative look on his face. I only recognized it because it was the same look my sisters gave me when I tried something new and fun. Fortunately, I also knew what to say whenever anyone looked at me like that.

"Sorry, Markus. I'll try better next time."

My friend keeps up the stare for a moment longer before nodding firmly, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.

My head falls back onto a pillow, and I look up at the sky only to realize many more trees are overhead than before I'd been de-blooded. "Where are we?"

Somewhat to my surprise, El fidgets and looks away before responding. "While you were out cold, the sq- Markus and I thought it best to take shelter away from our battle site."

Since neither of my companions were capable of eating a bear and two wolves whole—at least I was pretty sure they weren't—moving away from all the blood and fresh meat was a good choice. Something looking for a snack would have come by sooner or later.

"And once we got off the road, I could feel a clear pulse of mana running through the forest, and…" she trails off and starts to fidget harder. "Wefolloweditandfoundabrandnewdungeon."

It takes me a moment to translate the stream of sounds into a sentence, but a spark of excitement burns inside me when I do. We could be the first party to explore a dungeon. That was the kind of thing [Heroes] did.

More than that, dungeons offered loot and experience and could even grant access to new skills and classes. A brand new one might not have had the time to develop any valuable rewards, but I'd bet my next dozen meals that we'd get something really cool for being the first ones to complete this dungeon.

For some reason, the excitement I could feel on my face isn't mirrored by either of my teammates. El looks concerned, while Markus looks like he's getting ready to bring back his scolding look. They required some convincing that delving through this new-born dungeon was the right choice. Fortunately, I was a genius, and that meant that I knew exactly the right words to convince them.

"If there's a new dungeon, don't we owe it to the adventurer's guild to explore and see what's inside?"

"You almost died to a bear enhanced by the mana spilling out of the dungeon, Ciel. Anything we find inside will surely be stronger."

A frown crosses my face. That didn't sound like an enthusiastic agreement. I open my mouth to start arguing, but I'm interrupted by a furry paw placed against my lips.

"Our quest was to investigate the source of the aggressive wildlife. We've done that."

I supposed that was technically true, but what kind of adventurers weren't willing to run headfirst into mortal danger for the faintest hint of loot and new skills? I try to ask, but Markus just lifts his other paw to silence me.

"We can come back tomorrow. Or better yet, we can wait until an [Explorer] team has charted out the dungeon. We might not get the first clear, but-"

But nothing, I would have shouted if I could get past Markus's furry defense. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The kind of thing a would-be [Hero] had to grab with both hands or be left behind in the dustbin of could-have-beens and never-weres.

"Still, If you promise to be careful and let us know the instant you feel dizzy or weak, we're willing to explore a room or two of the dungeon with you." With the offer made, my furry companion hops back to sit on my stomach and frees me to speak.

There were a hundred things I wanted to ask, not least of which was why they were getting along so well now—and why their unanimity had to be directed against me—but I could figure that out later. For now, I had a choice to make.


[] Be a brave adventurer and explore the dungeon.

[] Be a responsible adventurer and tell the guild first.


Level 2 [Fighter]

Skills
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]

The ability to wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.

[Basic Shield Proficiency]
The ability to use shields with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.

[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it provides strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents

[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Superior Awareness]. It doubles the effective ability of an individual to hear things, but does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.

[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills, it provides a resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.


[AN]
Writing a fight scene from Ciel's POV is a bit strange. She doesn't quite have the sense of life-or-death that such things would ordinarily warrant, so the tone of it becomes a bit different.
 
[X] Be a responsible adventurer and tell the guild first.

I'll trust our trusty mentor who knows what she's talking about. Also I don't want to push her around too much lol.
 
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